A/N This is another wonderful prompt from a 'guest' who wrote: "From Jessica, set in the here and now?"
I'm not sure if this is what you had in mind. My first thought was, 'But Jessica's dead.' My second thought was 'Why should that stop me?'
I hope you like it.
I feel oddly compelled to mention that I do not believe in ghosts, that this story stands in direct opposition to just about everything I believe about life after death. But that's okay. This is just a story.
(my apologies to the Careesers out there… I hope you can see what I was trying to do.)
and finally -still not making any profit off of this... still not intending any copyright infringement.
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Jessica
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Oh John, my sweet John. If only you could have told me what you were really thinking.
I really believe I would have understood. I was there with you, you know, watching the towers come down. The world changed that day. We all changed that day. But in my small circle of friends, no one changed more than you.
I thought I understood. It made perfect sense to me that you would re-up. We needed the efforts - the protection of men like you.
But that wasn't it, was it? Not really. That was part of it, of course, but really you were bearing your own, horrible version of survivor's guilt. I wish you could have shared that part of yourself with me, but I know that if you had, it would have eased some of your pain, and you couldn't allow that.
I would have waited for you, should have. I should have waited for you no matter what you said - or didn't say. But instead I settled for someone who was not you because no one could fill the John-shaped hole in my life. And he killed me.
You feel responsible for that, I know, but you shouldn't. Those were my choices. I could have escaped. I could've left him. I could have… oh, I don't know… NOT MARRIED the MONSTER in the first place! But I did. Those were my choices.
My death was only Peter's fault. That was his choice - his lack of control. No one else's.
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I saw you. In the months following my death. How lost you were. How filled with pain and regret.
Now I knew. I finally knew what you'd been doing. What you'd become. What they'd done to you.
You chose to join them, true. That was your choice. But you were following the only path you could see. I finally understood what you couldn't tell me that day in the airport. I finally understood why.
I'm so sorry.
My sweet John. My heart breaks for you.
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I saw you on that subway. You were on your way to meet me - and for the first time, I didn't want to see you. Not like that.
I saw you meet Joss for the first time… and then Harold. I was so happy for you. They understood you in a way I never did.
I hope that you can see that everything you'd been through up to that point had created exactly the John that Harold needed… That the "numbers" needed… That the world needed.
I'm glad you're no longer planning to join me any time soon.
They need you, my love. They rely on you. And you will be there for them until the bitter end.
And when the end comes -
I will be waiting.
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END
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** More Prompts, Please! :-D
