Chapter 8

Jasper's POV

Something told him it would be a bad idea to leave her unsupervised. He saw how jittery and restless she had become. He'd witnessed her retreat into her mind. Dozens of times he'd watched her pull inside her mind and shut the world away. It went one of two ways, either she locked herself inside and became very focused on her single goal, or she locked away all her emotions and became the poster child for no fucks given. Though the latter was primarily reserved for dealings with the Queen, he had witnessed its use in other situations. Unfortunately this was not one of those times. No, no this time she had set her mind on a single track; while he was aware of this, he had no understanding of why. She could switch moods faster than anyone he'd met, and that amazed and terrified him. The triggers were a mystery to him. Food and perfection seemed to be at the center, but he was still surprised when her moods changed. What had left her so angry that she would shut everyone out? He replayed the entire conversation in his mind. Somehow he had said or done something that upset her.

Liam's shoes clicking against the tile pulled Jasper from his thoughts. "How is she?" Liam asked. Jasper released a groan, "She's infuriating. I woke up just in time to catch her as she collapsed beside her bed. Her blood pressure is still low, they have her on some sort of IV fluid to help resolve that issue. However her pulse was racing. One of those things apparently caused the sutures from her last fainting spell to pull open, so those have been cleaned and rebandaged. She's forbidden from leaving her bed, and I swear to god I will tie her to it if I must. Her heart can't regulate the changes from sitting to standing and she can't be trusted to remain in that bed. Oh and to top it off, she's in one of her moods, again." Jasper stepped away from the door to allow Liam to enter.

Liam's POV

"Which one do I have the pleasure of babysitting?" Liam knew his twin sister better than anyone, even Jasper; but, of course, no one really knew Eleanor. People only knew what she allowed them to know, she kept everything locked inside.

"Something I said must have upset her, she's shut me out. She won't even look at me now. I just…, I mean why? She's the most amazing woman but she just intentionally destroys herself. Why? She has no desire to get well, she's told me as much herself. She plans to let this ki-..., she wants this to be her end." He paused for a moment and then added, "I need some time to cool off, get some air and some coffee. Maybe just an hour, I could run back to the palace and get some clothes to change into. Grr...Sometimes I just want to shake her to make her see things properly. It's either that, or I scream at her. Neither would go over well. She makes me crazy."

Jasper's frustration struck Liam as out of character and somewhat humorous, so much so that he chuckled to himself. "Go, I'll watch over her. Maybe I can even talk a little sense into her or at least get her to open up a little. She's been shutting me out for a while now. I guess that makes sense now that I understand what she's been doing. Our mother really did a number on her self esteem with the constant competitiveness. No one really saw how bad it was; I never saw how bad it was. I think I just didn't want to see it, maybe I was too wrapped up in myself." Liam sighed, he should have been able to protect her from this nightmare, but he couldn't. "Go get something comfortable to wear and take a break. Take as long as you need. I'll be here with her."

Len was sitting up when he finally went inside. Her tiny legs dangled over the side. It was then that he saw how skeletal she'd become. He wondered to himself how he'd missed that, how she managed to get so frail without him noticing. He pulled a chair over near her bed and sat down. "You've come to babysit me then? I'm not a child, I don't need a nanny watching me." She didn't even look up at him, her eyes were fixed on her

feet as she swung them from side to side. "I just wanted to check on you. I worry about my baby sister, Lenny. You haven't been yourself, you're more distant than usual. Jasper told me you fainted again. What were you doing out of bed? Please tell me you weren't jogging laps around your room again."

Although he couldn't see her eyes, he was certain she had rolled them. "You don't have to worry about me Liam, I'm fine. Everything is fine. So you can just go back to whatever it was you were doing, and leave me here alone, okay." Her walls were definitely up. He knew there was not much he could say to get her to tear down those walls, so he opted for a change of topic. "Jasper tells me you haven't officially accepted his proposal. I can tell you love him. Listen, ignore mum, she doesn't know what she's talking about. Dad said to "choose love," so that's what I want you to do. I really think he regretted letting anyone else decide his future for him. I don't want you to feel that way. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live."

He half-whispered the last sentence but he knew she heard it. As far back as he can remember, she was able to hear things no one else could. It was as if she sensed it, like vibes or waves coming from within a person. When they were kids it made him extremely annoyed. Every secret he had, she somehow already knew.

"Of course I want to marry Jasper. I love Jasper. He makes me feel safe, protected; he makes me feel like someone cares. But no one deserves to be pulled into this shit-show life. That isn't fair to anyone." She paused and then sighed, "I'm tired."

Eleanor's POV

She just wanted to be alone. Every bit of energy had left her body and yet she still felt compelled the pace around her room. Jasper would never let that happen, but with him gone maybe she could get away with it while Liam was there. "I'm tired," she said again, "I'm tired of being stuck in this room. I don't see why we can't do this at the palace. It isn't like anything major is being done. I'm just hooked up to the same machines they used when I ODed the last time. We did that at the palace." Liam looked at her, although she had yet to make eye contact with him, she glanced up long enough to catch the look of pain on his face. She thought to herself how unfair this was to him. He had to watch his sister try to kill herself slowly with a combination of cocaine, champagne, and starvation. The real question of the hour was which one would finally make that happen. "Please, Liam, please tell them to let me go back to the palace."

She watched him slowly rise from his chair. "I'll go and see what I can make happen." He took a couple steps toward the door then turned back to look at her, "Don't you dare get out of that bed." His eyes lingered on her tiny body for an extra moment, then he turned and left the room. The door quietly latched behind him. When he had passed the window, she stood up, gripping the edge of her mattress as the room spun about wildly. It took a moment before her legs stabilised and her balance returned.

"Slowly, every little bit counts so don't blow your chances of getting out of here." One step at a time, she began to circle the room.

Jasper's POV

It didn't take him long to make it back to the palace. While it only took him three minutes to change into a pair of jeans and a button-down shirt, he spent an extra fifteen minutes looking around her room desperately attempting to figure her out. He was unsuccessful, of course, but in that time he did manage to find two of her old journals and her stash of empty diet pill bottles. Jasper left the bottles where they were but he grabbed both journals to read later. He knew it was probably not a good idea to pry into her private thoughts, but she had built so many walls around her emotions. If she was going to overcome this disorder, he needed to understand the "why" so he could support her recovery.

He restashed the journals in a spot he knew she'd never look, then grabbed an overnight bag. Pulling open a couple of dresser drawers, Jasper added some things to the bag for Eleanor. He knew some warm pants and socks would make her happier, as well as her hair brush and her two favourite stuffed animals. He'd watched Eleanor retreat to childhood behaviours as her disorder worsened. She had begun collecting stuffed animals; there were times he'd find her just sitting in her bed clinging to one of the toys. He didn't really understand but the presence of her toys seemed to calm her anxiety. He tucked her fuzzy blanket into the bag and zipped it up. He was anxious to get back to her, even if she infuriated him.