It was a Thursday night. It was late, but Arnold Shortman continued working at his parents' lab, cleaning many of the equipment and experimental tools and measuring glass. It had been a long day and he was exhausted, but he couldn't stop. He had to finish everything before leaving the lab that night in order for work to continue on the next day. They were behind schedule on delivering any results to their superiors and were becoming impatient. Arnold and his parents couldn't afford any further delays, so like a trooper, he marched on.
Worse still, he still had homework to finish after this and although some of them he wasn't required to hand in, there were a few that were due the next day. So, he had to do them before he went to sleep that night.
Such was the life of Arnold for the past three years; a life of constant moving, working before the required age, all while going to school, with very little time to socialize. He missed his friends terribly and longed for a chance to a kid again. Yet, despite the psychological and emotional toll this lifestyle had on him, he didn't regret his decision to leave Hillwood and...Helga in order to be with his parents. Very reluctantly, he had come to terms with that notion, especially after his talk with Helga on March Break. As far as he was concerned, getting the chance to travel and get to know his parents after almost a decade absent was a life fulfilled. At least that's what he initially thought.
And now, therein laid the problem. He had achieved what he set out to do. With his parents being his only companions, he had gotten to know them pretty well during those last years, which only served to draw him ever closer to them. He should be happy, he should have no worries, or agitation of any sort. Well, he was happy, but during the past week or ago, he had been feeling rather, well...blah. He had been agitated and anxious lately. He had not been able to sleep properly during the past few days. As a result, he developed bangs under his eyes. Something was clearly bothering him.
I hope he comes today. Arnold thought anxiously, as he continue cleaning the inside of a medical machine.
He usually comes in the morning. I wonder what caused him to be late. Will he even arrive at all? He continued to think.
Just then, there was a knock on the door. Surprised and excited, Arnold quickly stopped what he was doing and went to the door. Rather nervously but also excitedly, he unlocked and opened the door.
"Buenas noches, Arnold." (Good evening, Arnold.) The mail carrier said to the young teen.
"Buenas noches Señor Gutiérrez." (Good evening, Mr. Gutierrez.) Arnold politely responded.
"Disculpa por me tardanza." Señor Gutiérrez said. "Tenía que repartir mi correo en otras partes de la cuidad antes de venir aquí." (Forgive my tardiness. I had to deliver my mail to other parts of the city before I came here.) He explained as he gave Arnold the mail.
"Oh, no te preocupes, Señor Gutiérrez. Gracias por venir hoy" (Oh, don't worry about it, Mr. Gutierrez. Thank you for coming today.) He lied as he grabbed the mail and gently closed the door as Mr. Gutierrez left.
Arnold was in fact irritated that the mail carrier 'chose', out of all days, to go to other parts of the city first. However, ever the sweet and kind hearted person that he always was, he would never dare demonstrate his aggravation at Mr. Gutierrez.
Arnold walked back into the lab and put the mail on a table as he went back to finishing his task. However, anxious to see what mail awaited, Arnold barely began his work again when he got up, went back to the table, grabbed the mail, sat down and scanned through them. After scanning through them, his hopes were quickly dashed as he realized to his dismay that he received no mail from either of his friends. His face gave way to a sad, but frowning appearance.
It's only been two weeks since I saw them in Hillwood. Arnold tried to reassured himself in thought. I'm sure they will send their letters soon. They are back at school now, so they must be busy.
As much as Arnold tried to remain positive, he vividly remembered when he first left Hillwood, no sooner had he begun to settle down in the first city with his parents when he received emails from all his friends, except Helga. And it did not just contained just one page, but rather a few pages, with great detail on how things were in Hillwood since he left. Arnold was rather surprised by these sudden emails he got from his friends, but was nevertheless happy, as it showed him how deeply they missed him.
Now, after almost three years, with those emails converting into letters, Arnold had been receiving less and less of them. It started out rather slowly at first. Arnold hardly noticed it and the times when he did, he simply brushed it off as nothing serious. However, after two years, the infrequency of the letter became apparent, so much so that he could not ignore it, nor ignore the growing uneasiness that he was feeling. Yet, there was little that he could do it. Besides, it's not like he had a lot of time to read them, much less respond to them. During the first year, Arnold sometimes got so overwhelmed with the amount of emails he got, that it sometimes took him some weeks before he got a chance to respond back.
Despite the uneasiness, he remained positive about it and knew that eventually, they will send him a letter.
But right now, I have work to finish at the lab. He thought. *sigh* then homework. He groaned in thought.
Putting his thoughts aside, Arnold went back to his work and finished up for tonight.
Arnold had only recently moved to the capital of San Lorenzo, San Lorenzo city, during the summer of last year. It was a city of a million people. Given the country's small population, it was huge. In some ways like Hillwood, the capital city had a distinction between rich and poor, although it was much more profound. Yet the city was the heart of the country, with most of its financial and manufacturing facilities and enterprises situated there. It was also where most of the scientific studies and research was done, as the city housed most of the facilities and equipment needed to research and study. It was precisely that reason why Arnold and his parents decided to settle there, rather than to another American city. It was close to the jungle where they needed to obtain much of their specimen for research, while also being near to a laboratory where they can do their research.
The city was built was upon an old Mayan citadel. After the Spanish conquest of the region, a few conquistadores came across this old, abandoned and semi-ruined city. Despite it being virtually abandoned, the Spanish soon learned of its strategic importance and began to re-settle the city, except they started erecting their own architecture on top of the old Mayan ruins. Soon enough, it grew to eventually become the country's capital after gaining its independence from Spain and later, Mexico.
As the days continued to go by, Arnold has been thinking about another thing that still bothered him. Unlike his worry about his friends sending him their letters, this one hit close to home. Ever since his first visit to see his friends back in mid-March, Arnold had been struggling to come to grips with the fact that Helga had found...someone else. Although granted, he felt a bit better now than he did back in March; it still stung. Despite his attempts, it had not left his mind, nor his heart. He would constantly think about it, trying to wrap his head around on how it all came to be.
Yet, the answer was very simple. It was he who broke up with her before he departed Hillwood with his parents. Helga didn't want the break up and vividly, and somberly remembered how desperately she tried to change his mind. Not even the tears and the begging from her succeeded in that. He remained firm and ended things with her on his last day in Hillwood. Why? To give her a chance to move on. Arnold knew her well enough to know that Helga would wallow in her own sadness and emptiness as she waited for him to return. But he had no intention of returning and because of that, would not allow Helga to waste her life on waiting for him, just as she already waited to be with him since she was three years old! He couldn't allow it. He couldn't do that to her. It was not fair to her to wait for something that was not destined to return. She needed to move on, she needed to start her own life without him. Yet, he knew that despite her being a strong person, this was a bridge too far, and she wouldn't be able to do it on her own. He had to do it for her, and so he did, without even consulting her. He essentially had no one to blame but himself.
Helga was devastated when he told her that it was over. He could tell it in her eyes that he had just literally crushed her entire world on that day. He hurt her deeply when he did it and although he reframed from showing it to her, Arnold cried on the plane after, not just for the amount of guilt that he felt, but also that he loved her. He didn't want to break up with her. He even thought about taking her with him, but he knew that this lifestyle was nowhere near suitable for her. The constant moving and wanting to get to know his parents more would have created a whole series of stress and unhappiness in her. And so relented in ending things with her. He didn't just break her heart on that day; his also broke.
Yet, despite his own loss, Arnold knew that precisely because Helga was a strong and resilient person, she would eventually bounce back and to his surprise, she did!
I just didn't know she would actually do it! He thought to himself selfishly.
That last thought left a sour taste in his mouth and he immediately felt guilty for thinking so selfishly. But, he couldn't help it. He hadn't felt this...jealous since the fourth grade; when he liked Lila Swayer. Just like how back in the fourth grade, he understand, let alone stand how Lila managed to fall for his cousin, Arnie, Arnold couldn't understand how Helga managed to find someone else; Rodrigo.
Am I really jealous of them? He thought to himself. I must be; it's the same feeling I had when I saw Lila liking Arnie.
He was jealous during that whole week when he visited Hillwood, he was jealous when he said goodbye to everyone, including Helga and Rodrigo and he jealous still. But...there was nothing that he could do. The choice was made long ago and despite his attempts to reverse them, Helga had made her decision and he would respect that.
This is only a temporary thing. He thought to himself. I know that after a while, I'll feel better about it and I will feel comfortable in seeing them together. Things always have a way of working themselves out.
More days went by, until it was finally the weekend; a breather for him. Well, sort of. Usually on the weekends, he got to travel from the capital to the jungle, but he wasn't going there to have fun. Arnold would usually accompany his parents to the jungle in order to collect more specimens, often collecting them himself. Recently, he had discovered, or rather re-discovered, a passion that he had not done in quite a while; helping others. In order to get to the jungle, he and his parents had to first go to some of the most isolated communities, devoid of any electricity or cleaned running water. From there, they would ask the locals to take them to certain areas. It was during on one of these missions earlier in the year when Arnold encountered an international non-profit organization (INPO) that was helping a local community in distributing clothes, tools and other accessories, as well as helping them construct better houses. Arnold, intrigued with what they were doing, approached one of the leaders of this organization and offered his help.
After receiving his parents' permission and signing up with them, Arnold and his parents would try to go to the local community where the INPO was at and coordinate Arnold's schedule between helping his parents and the INPO. It was a good working arrangement. The INPO had good connections with some members of the communities that they help and would often connect Arnold's parents with someone who had knowledge of the fauna and specific flowers that they were looking for. Two pointers!
On one of these encounters, Arnold was with this parents and Eduardo, driving to a village that was literally in the middle of nowhere.
"Are we there yet?" Arnold asked.
"Almost son." His father, Miles responded.
True to his word, the village appeared. It wasn't his first time there. Actually, he had quite frequently visited the area multiple times with this parents.
"Eduardo, do you think Marice will be there?" Arnold asked.
"Yes, Arnold. She arrived yesterday." Eduardo confirmed.
Soon enough, the vehicle approached the main square of the village and everyone got off. Eduardo, Miles and Stella immediately set off to find the person that will take them to where they needed to go. Arnold on the other hand, went to find his friend, Marice. It didn't take him long to find her.
"Arnold!" She yelled as she ran up to him.
"Marice! Ooof!" He said, just as she ran up and collided with him, embracing him with a very tight hug.
"Es muy bien a verte otra vez! Te extrañe" (It's so good to see you again! I missed you.) She said to him without letting go.
"Marice...No puedo respirar." (Marice...I can't breathe.) He gasped as he tried to get some air.
"Oh, perdón Arnold." (Oh, I'm sorry Arnold.) She said as she quickly let him go, allowing him to breathe.
Marice was only a few months younger than him, and were in the same grade, although they did not go to the same school. Living in another city, they only met because Arnold joined the non-profit organization that Marice also volunteered in and it was during on one of their missions at another village where they met for the first time.
Being a bit shorter than Arnold, Marice was a beautiful teen, with long black hair that a person could get lost in. Her skin had a soft brown tone. She was skinny, but had a bit of nice curves. Her voice was soft when she spoke, but was no in way a quiet person. She was very smart, with dreams on becoming an engineer. Like Arnold, she had a big heart to help others and was honing on her skills in constructing houses and other buildings.
It was also no secret that she liked Arnold...a lot. Ever since they met, she had been giving him strong hints and indications of her affection towards him. It was completely obvious. Even his parents noticed how this Latina would often follow Arnold around. So what did Arnold think about her?
He wasn't interested. No longer the naive person he once was, he instantly recognized Marice was infatuated with him and made every attempt to make it politely known to her that he had no intention of going out with her. It wasn't that he didn't find her attractive, far from it. His heart just laid with someone else.
A few weeks before he was scheduled to go back to Hillwood in March, Arnold decided to finally confront Marice about it and inform her directly that he liked someone else, someone whom he was initially with and broke it off, much his regret. It was not fair for her to pursue someone who was not interested in her. He initially tried to let it her known without hurting her feelings, but it got to a point where he no longer had a choice. He needed to tell her upright. Marice finally got the message and although very saddened, nevertheless wished him the best of luck when he went to Hillwood to get the girl of his dreams. Sadly, Arnold returned from that trip empty-handed.
Despite the news, Marice never stopped liking him. Although eventually becoming aware that Arnold was still single, she ceased in her pursuit of him and settled to just being friends with him...at least for now.
"¿Como fue tu viaje, Arnold?" (How was your trip?) Marice asked him.
"Me fue bien. No me retrase, como puedes ver." (It went well. I wasn't delayed, as you can see.) He responded with his American accent and with a genuine smile.
"Me alegro de escuchar eso." (I'm glad to hear it.) She said to him with her own smile. But then, she dropped her smile and became serious. "Otra vez, lo siento que no te reuniste con Helga." (Again, I'm sorry that you didn't get back together with Helga.) She said to him, trying her best to sound as genuinely as she can.
"Gracias, Marice." Arnold said with a weak smile, but couldn't help to also show a strong hint of sadness.
Things immediately began to feel awkward between them. Marice did not like to mention the girl that prevented Arnold from liking her, nor was she happy to see him so sad. Wanting to change topic,
"Bueno, deberíamos empezar con nuestro trabajo. Hay bastante que hacer y prefiero terminarlo antes cuando vas a la selva." (Well, we should start with our work. There is a lot to do and I prefer to finish it before you go to the jungle) She said to him.
"Si. A que empezar." (Yes, let's start.) He said, regaining some of his energy back.
Arnold and Marice spent the rest of the day distributing clothing and accessories to either the villagers, or preparing them for further delivery downstream, to other communities. Despite the initial awkward silence, they soon relaxed and began to talk about various topics and subjects, much to Arnold's relief. Even though the work they were doing was hard, he rather enjoyed it, as it allowed him to forget about his woes, jealousy and worries and just focus on the task at hand. Working alongside Marice facilitated that process. But they weren't alone. They had help from other volunteers or even from some of the villagers. This is what Arnold loved about this job; everyone coming together to help each other out. It was a communal process.
The next day, it was the same process; getting up early, eating breakfast, having a small chance to interact with Marice and some kids his age from the village. Then, it was off to work again; finishing with the distribution of all tools, equipment, clothing, food and other materials. Arnold had to work fast; he was scheduled to leave the village and go with his parents for a day deep in the jungle.
Just then, a jeep arrived, with the obvious look that it had things inside it.
More stuff to deliver? Arnold groaned in thought. Oh well. Might as well get to it.
Arnold then made his way towards the jeep, preparing himself to unload the deliveries it had. But as he got closer, he saw that there wasn't boxes inside it. Rather, it had bags. The mail was here!
The driver got out of the jeep, went around to the back, open the trunk and got out the bag that was for the specific location. Arnold and everyone started gathering around the jeep, eagerly waiting to see if they received anything from friends or relatives. Arnold waited anxiously as the man took out mail after mail after package from the bag and giving it to everyone other than him. He kept on tapping his foot on the ground and his finger on his elbow, almost even frowning at the driver for not giving him his expected mail.
Finally, after waiting for quite a while, the driver pulls out a bunch of mail for Arnold. Almost instantly, Arnold snatches it, happily gives the driver his thanks and quickly begins to flip them. It didn't take long for a smile to emerge on his face when he saw the mail that he had been waiting; mail from his friends back in Hillwood.
As desperate as Arnold was to open it, he had to very reluctantly put them inside his parents' vehicle in order to finish the work that he had to do before he set out. That was easier said than done. He was constantly thinking about it, wanting to read what the latest news was in Hillwood, as well as what his friends have been doing since he left.
Did they miss me? Were they thinking about me? He thought. I'm sure they did. They were really happy to see me back in March. They used the whole week to squeeze whatever time there was to hang out with me.
"¿Arnold, que estás haciendo?" (Arnold what are you doing?) Marice suddenly called out.
"Huh?" Arnold said, bringing himself back to reality.
"Mira." (Look.) She said as she pointed to the packages that he was folding.
Arnold looked down to see what Marice was pointing at. He saw that he had just packaged two different boxes together. Worse, he had been doing that for quite a few packages.
"Oh, disculpa Marice. Gracias por alertándome." (Oh I'm sorry Marice. Thanks for letting me know) He said frantically and hurried to carefully unfolded the packages that contained more than one. He had to ensure he didn't rip the wrapping paper; it was all they had.
Eventually, Arnold managed to complete all of his task, albeit just barely. His parents had just informed him that they were to leave in a few minutes and that he had better get all of his things and say his goodbyes. Arnold wasted no time and gathered all of his equipment and tools, said goodbye to Marice, grabbed all of the mail that had just arrived, then rendez-voused with his parents to the loading dock.
After getting on the boat and ensuring he and his parents had everything that they need for the next few days, Arnold finally had the time to relax a bit. Finding a place on the boat where he can be by himself, he sat down, grabbed the mail from his bag and began to read the first one.
Almost two hours later...
Arnold had just finished reading Harold's and was pretty happy on reading the latest tales his friends had written him. Well, almost. On almost everyone's letters, except Harold's, an issue had been on everyone's mind when they wrote their letters to him. It didn't sound serious, not yet anyways, but it was bothering his friends. Arnold scanned and re-read through the letters again, trying to see if he can decode his friends' emotional state throughout their writing. Based on what he can gather, they were relatively concerned, but not necessarily freaking out.
What event was driving Arnold's friends to warrant them to even write to him about it? Apparently, certain rumors and racial/homophobic slanders have been circulating around their school for some time, resulting in outbreaks of infighting among the students. Some of his friends, like Rhonda, Nadine and Gerald, have written that some of their others friends have either splintered or couples of broken up as a result. Fear, paranoia and distrust from those who are 'different' have been becoming prominent. Although finding all of this concerning, Arnold remained optimistic. After all, these kinds of things are not new. Granted, this is the first time he had heard that these kinds of things have been affecting an entire school, but he remained faithful that not just his friends, but everyone in their school, will pull through. After all, after the events that happened on Gerald's field some five years ago, Arnold was confident that whatever issue was happening in their school, his friends will rally together to take care of it.
Arnold then picked up another of his friends' mail, which just so happened to be Rodrigo's, causing Arnold to frown. Just reading that very name gave Arnold a rush of jealousy and anger. Even now, he still had not yet come to terms with his own feelings about the Latino kid, but it wasn't his fault; Rodrigo's. He had nothing to do with their break up. That only served to confound Arnold's feelings about him even more. Even during his visit, Arnold had wanted nothing to do with him after Helga declined to get back together with him. However, after a bit of encouragement and wise words from his grandfather, Arnold opted to push his feelings of jealousy and hurt aside and hang out with Rodrigo, who by all accounts, was a relatively cool teen to hang out with. After only a few days, Arnold began to feel more relax around him, even forgetting his jealous and at one point, opting to go with him to a Latino club and dance. Indeed, that whole experience with a serious roller coaster, but by the end of it, Arnold felt more relaxed and less hostile towards Rodrigo. He got to see him as a cool and nice kid and not as the guy who 'stole his girl'. Despite still feeling jealous, Arnold knew that with time, his anger and jealousy will subside and he will eventually embrace Rodrigo as a good friend.
With that in mind, Arnold opened Rodrigo's letter and proceeded to read it.
After a few days...
After some time in the jungle with his parents, Arnold and they finally went back to the capital and begin experimenting on the specimens they have caught. Again, like any other time, it was the same as always; coming back from the jungle, going to school and catching up on a few lost classes, helping his parents in the lab, going to more classes, catching up on homework and assignments, again helping out at the lab and if he gets lucky, actually have a weekend to relax and hang out with some friends.
Since his recent return from the jungle, Arnold pondered about this tedious, yet now highly predictable schedule. He had not just been accustomed to it, but was finding it less and less...rewarding. This was especially apparent after his return from Hillwood. It just wasn't the same after going back. He found it hard to 'get back into his groove', as it were, after his vacation. Initially, he couldn't put his finger on it, but there was definitely something there that was bothering him, or rather something not being there.
Is this 'blah' thing that I have been experiencing since I came back from Hillwood...emptiness? He thought. But, why do I feel empty?
Despite his busy schedule, Arnold spend the next two weeks since his return from the jungle thinking constantly about this. By now, he was convinced that something was missing in Arnold's life. He initially thought that it was Helga and to some extent, it was true. Helga's long silence and absence from his life had left a deep hole and for the past several years, had been attempting to fill it. Although doubting he ever succeeded in completely filling that hole, he had for the most part thrived in his new environment. He learned so much about the life of a semi-nomadic person, moving constantly from city to city, while having only your parents as solid companions. Then there was the adventures he experience at the jungle, and now volunteering with an international non-profit organization to help those in need.
Yet, Helga never really left his mind, nor his heart. He would sometimes think about it and there were even times when he deeply missed her, but reframed from attempting to be more assertive and reestablishing contact with her. He felt that whenever she was ready to start to talking to him, she would let him know.
For the first year or so, he was able to move on with his life and at one point, felt he was over her. But after another year and with still no letters from her, Arnold began to starting thinking about her again. It wasn't by choice. Memories of them being together would sometimes resurface and start circulating around his head. And those memories only got stronger as the year progressed. Arnold tried to ignore it but eventually got the point where he could no longer stand it. It wasn't just his frustration about wanting to talk to her again. He wanted her back into his life. He had missed her and was now finding the possibility of a life without her unbearable. That was why before he embarked on returning to Hillwood after almost three years, he made up his mind; he would get back together with her. But how? Arnold didn't find the option of being in a long-distance relationship appealing. He wanted her to be physically there. So, assessing that perhaps Helga had thought about going to San Lorenzo to be with them, Arnold opted for her to possibly move in with them.
Firstly, he had to get his parents' permission. It didn't really take long for him to convince them to allow Helga to move in with them. Sure, they were reluctant about it, but as long as she AND her parents allowed it, they didn't see a problem in it. She can enroll in an American state high school in the country and there was even an American university that the U.S. recognized any students' credits. He wasn't sure if this is something she wanted to do, or even if she thought about it. But it couldn't hurt ask her. Besides, he had a hunch that she probably thought about doing this and would probably say yes.
Ecstatic, Arnold went to Hillwood to give Helga the good news. When he arrived and had his first encounter with Helga in his old room in the boarding house, he had expected the first meeting to feel...awkward. And it was. For a time, both teens didn't really know what to say to each other. They hadn't talked to each other in almost three years and they are no longer dating, so what was there to say? Helga was especially being quiet, as she seriously tried hard not to fall to pieces when she first laid eyes of him after so long. She wanted to embrace him; she wanted to tell him how long she had waited for this. But she couldn't, for many reasons. Eventually, concentrating on reestablishing some sort of a rapport, both teens were able to wiggle their way into having a normal, casual and eased conversation. The tension decreased and it soon went away. Obviously they spent their time informing the other about what each of them have been up to. It was only after that, when Helga felt ease and comfortable enough that she laid her bombshell;
Back in March break...in Arnold's old room...
"Rodrigo and I are...dating." She suddenly and just bluntly said to him.
"What?" Arnold asked with a completely shocked look on his face.
Really? Did he not hear me the first time? Crimeny, does he really want me to say it again? She groaned thought.
"I said, Rodrigo and I are dating." She said again. "I wouldn't say we are a couple, but we are seeing each other.""
For a moment, Arnold just stood there, silently and motionless. He didn't know what to do or what to say, but clearly this was completely unexpected! Here he was, back in Hillwood after almost three years away and with a some big news that he had for her; he missed her and wanted to get back together with her. Now, all of it seemed to be breaking into pieces and being flushed down the toilet. And just like that, he felt a serious pain in his chest, as if someone just reach into his heart, grabbed it and yanked it out from him.
"Well, I mean umm...that's great." He lied while trying to smile. "When did this happen?" He asked, trying to hide away the pain and growing angry that he was feeling.
"Last week. It's been known that we started liking each other for some time and I took the first step and 'told him' how I felt about it." She explained.
Last week?! He thought angrily. I was late by only a week?! She was essentially single this whole time. I could have gotten back together with her if I only reached out to her earlier!
"How so?" He asked.
"I didn't feel like telling him so I just danced with him during lunch time." She explained. "It wasn't just a simple dance. The way I moved around him and trying to get his attention, you know the whole 'I like you too' thing, only physically. I just figured it was easier."
"Well, what did he say?" Arnold asked.
"Well umm, he didn't really say anything yet." She said shyly.
"Huh?" Arnold said, sounding completely confused.
"I'm kind of still waiting for him to give me an answer." She said shyly.
Arnold looked at her with a perplexed and confusing look.
"But then, why did you tell me that you guys were dating if you he hadn't even given you an answer?"
"As I said before, football head," She said rather firmly, "it has been known to us that we have liked each other for quite some time. I'm not idiot. I could tell that he likes me. The way he looks at me, how he takes the time to hang out and talk to me, blah blah blah. He obviously couldn't say anything because he and everyone else thought that you and I were still together."
"Wait a minute! You told people that we broke up?" Arnold asked surprisingly. "When did that happen?!"
"Yes, I ended up telling everyone that YOU broke up with me." She said, strongly emphasizing the word, 'you'. "It was a few weeks ago, on a Friday night. I figured it was time that everyone knew. No biggie."
No biggie?! He thought irritatingly. All of this time, she didn't tell anyone of our relationship until only a few weeks ago!?
Arnold could not believe his luck. He was too late by only a few weeks. This entire time he could have asked Helga to get back together again and he had no doubt that she would have accepted it. Now, he was at a crossroad; either risk it all and tell Helga about his plans of wanting to get back together again and either get her back or damage whatever little relationship he has with her, or accept this shocking outcome and respect Helga's newfound relationship. Arnold just stood there silently, pondering about what to do. At that very moment, he wanted to do something selfishly; he wanted to tell her that he missed her terribly and wanted to get back together with her. Truthfully, he didn't care how this would affect Rodrigo, or Helga for that matter. He just wanted her back. He had made a terrible mistake in letting her go and wanted to rectify it.
"Hey, hellooo." Helga suddenly. "Earth to football head." As she waved her hand in front of him.
"Huh?" Arnold suddenly said, throwing himself off from his train of thought.
"You kind of dozed off there." She said.
"I didn't doze off." He said, a bit annoyingly. "I was just thinking."
"About?" She asked curiously.
"Well, to be honest. I'm a bit surprised." He confessed. "But I'm really happy for you Helga." he quickly added.
"What exactly about this was surprising to you?" She asked suspiciously.
Did he actually think I could not get over him? She thought.
"Well, it just came out of nowhere." He lied, "I would figured this would be one of the first things you would tell me."
Helga was still a bit suspicious about why he was surprised about it, but nothing really wanting to find out, she let it go.
"Anyways, I'm really happy for you Helga." He congratulated her again.
He had made his decision. Ever the selfless person that he really was, he would respect Helga's relationship with Rodrigo.
"Well, don't jinx it by congratulating me before he says 'yes'." She reminded him. "I'm still waiting for an answer. Granted I'm 100% sure he will say yes, but you never know."
"I wonder why it is taking him this long to give you an answer?" He asked.
"Pfft, you're the one the talk." She retorted with a sarcastic smile. "It took you about a year to give me an answer, remember? I even had to prove to you again how much you mean to me by organizing that whole fiasco trip to San Lorenzo. Men." She continued as she rolled her eyes.
"Oh right." Arnold said embarrassingly. "Sorry about that."
"Eh, don't worry about it." She shrugged.
Back in the present...
Despite it happening back in March, Arnold felt it only seemed like yesterday when that encounter happened. The pain of loss was still present and it was getting worse when he departed Hillwood for San Lorenzo. As more time passed, the more he thought about it, which only worsened this sense of emptiness that he was feeling. It was only after watching the video of Helga and Rodrigo dancing together for the Annual dancing performance at their school, one month after returning to San Lorenzo, that he finally felt some sort of alleviation, enough for him to finally embrace Helga's relationship with Rodrigo with much happiness and joy for her, allowing him to move on.
Yet this sense of emptiness never really went away. It still lingered on. Worse still, it wasn't just with Helga that he was feeling this. There was something else.
But what is it? He asked himself. Is it stability? For long time I felt that my world was rocked by things outside of my control. My parents' jobs have been a huge pain. I honestly don't know how they do it, but they enjoy this type of lifestyle; moving around, embracing any new challenges. I thought I could do this, but it turned out that trying to live this lifestyle is much harder than I thought.
Despite its challenges, Arnold still enjoyed it. Getting to know new places and meeting new people was part of the fun and Arnold, at least initially, fully embraced it. But therein lied the problem. Constantly meeting new places and new people meant that there was no stability in his life. For a while, it was tolerable. But it soon became a huge burden for him, so much so that he had to speak to his parents about settling on one particular place. It was just too much for him. They ended up picking San Lorenzo and for a while, it worked. Arnold got to enjoy leading a somewhat stable life; he became acquainted with many new people and even started making friends both in school and in the many villages and communities he traveled to. And again for a while, it was fine...until he left for Hillwood.
Seeing his friends after almost three years, allowing the nostalgia to permeate around him whenever he visited many of the same areas and locations that he used to venture to when he was a kid, all of it gave him not just sense of stability, but also a sense of belonging. It was only after seeing his friends after such a long time did he realized that he really missed them.
This wasn't anything new. He had always missed them. But during the first few years, it was tolerable and for a while, he adjusted to the new circumstances. But after his visit to Hillwood, that feeling of belonging was now becoming more and more apparent and he was no longer able to simply ignore it. To somewhat counter this, Arnold attempted to spend more time with the friends he made in school. He even cancelled going with his parents back to the jungle, just so he can have a breather and just enjoy life. But it wasn't enough. No, it just wasn't the same.
It's not like Juan, Sophia, Alejandro and Ximena are bad friends. He thought. On the contrary. They are the most nicest people I've ever met. They helped me to adjust to life in the capital and even helped me out on figuring out our school. They made the process that much easier. I don't know what I would have done without them. I should be happy to have met them!
But he wasn't. As Arnold took the streetcar that led back to his apartment, he was busy in thought about what he was feeling and what he really wanted. He was so much into his own thoughts that he pushed away all the noises and distractions around him.
I should be happy. He continued to think. I have my parents, I have new friends. I even found my calling; helping out other people. I still get to be who I am here. Sure my old friends are thousands of miles away, but they are all doing well. Even Helga now is doing pretty well. She is going out with Rodrigo and judging from what Gerald and everyone has told me, they seem pretty happy together.
"Plaza de Santo Sebastián!" (Saint Sebastian square!) The driver called out as he stopped the streetcar to let any passengers in and/or out.
"Huh?" Arnold said as he realized that this was his stop. Quickly grabbing his backpack, he got up and rushed out of the streetcar, and just in the nick of time. The doors behind him closed, the bell ring and the streetcar started driving off.
Once off, Arnold began to make his way home, but still continued to think about how he felt about all of this.
*sigh* I might as well admit it to myself; as much as I thought I was happy doing all of this; I'm not. I mean, I have no regrets, but I just miss my old friends. It's just not the same without them. He thought somberly.
I shouldn't have allowed my fear of losing my parents again to get the better of me! He continued to think. I should have visited them more often. I had the chance, but I didn't want to go without my parents. I have to control my fears and make more of an effort to see them.
A few weeks later...
Arnold was again at the lab, busy cleaning all of the tools and equipment after another day's work. It was now Friday and he was looking forward to the weekend. He had opted out from going with his parents back to the jungle and wanted to just spend some time in the capital with his new friends. He had been making more of an effort to hang out with them and socialize more, hoping that his emptiness that he had been feeling for months would eventually go away.
For now, that seemed to have worked. More and more Arnold found out that he was slowly getting back on his feet and enjoying himself more.
Maybe that's all I needed to do. He thought. I just need to make more time for myself and hang out with my friends and just do fun things again. I don't need to tag along with my parents all the time. They are still there and they will come home after a few days.
Just then, there was a knock at the door. Arnold dropped what he was doing and made his way to the door to open it.
"Buenas noches, Arnold." (Good evening, Arnold) Señor Gutiérrez, the mail carrier said as he handed the teen some mail.
"Buenas noches, Señor Gutiérrez ¿Cómo va todo?" (Good evening, Mr. Gutierrez. How are things?) Arnold said.
"Todo va bien, gracias Arnold." (Everything is going well, thank you Arnold) Señor Gutiérrez responded with a smile. "Hasta luego" (Bye).
"Chao" (Bye) Arnold said and slowly closed the door as Señor Gutiérrez walked away.
Arnold put the mail on a table and went back to finishing up with his tasks for the night. It was getting late and he didn't feel like staying at the lab on a Friday night.
After getting off from the streetcar and having walked about fifteen minutes from the Plaza de Santo Sebastian, Arnold went inside his building, ran into the elevator, just as it was closing. After waiting to get to the fifteen floor, he got out, walked towards his apartment and went inside.
The apartment where he and his parents lived was in a luxurious neighbourhood, at least compared to the rest of the city. It was not only where most of the wealthy elites lived, but also where most of the foreigners who have come to work also resided. It was relatively safe to walk around and the lab where he and his parents work is just off from the district, into another that is mostly a middle class neighbourhood. The friends that he made there were either from the same wealthy neighbourhood or at the very least, from the middle class area.
After making a quick dinner and eating it, Arnold sat down on his couch, grabbed his back and took out the mail and began scan it. Soon enough, he found the letters from his friends. Deciding to read Eugene's letter first, he opened it and began to read it.
After reading Eugene's letter, Arnold was stunned by the news. Without even saying hello, or even asking him how he was doing, Eugene's first words were to bluntly tell Arnold that they needed him to come home. The clumsy teen argued that their school was on the brink of chaos, with students ready to tear each other apart. The racist/homophobic rumours and slanders that have been circulating for months have gotten out of control and Eugene feared that unless something was done, people will continued to get hurt. To his surprise, Eugene wrote to Arnold that he was secretly calling on the Mitigators to once again to heed the call of their fellow students and help them on this hour of need. Only him and few others knew of this.
Taking his friend's letter seriously, Arnold pondered if he should go back home to help out, at least only for a few days. However, he was hesitant to do something so drastic.
Do they really need my help? He thought. What about my parents? Will they even allow me to go back to Hillwood so soon and during the school year? Worse, am I ready to go on my own...without them?
Arnold began to feel anxious again about that last thought. During the past few weeks, he had been slowly attempting to be on his own, opting out from either going with them to the jungle or even helping them in their laboratory. Using that extra time, he either hanged out with his friends or used that time to catch up on some homework. Either way, the point was to get away from his parents to relinquish his fear that they will leave him again. Although only a few weeks, it had thus far been working .
Curious to see how the others felt about it, Arnold then began to read Rhonda's letters. As soon as he opened it, something fell. When he looked down to see what it was, he realized that it was a plane ticket; one way.
Why did Rhonda send me a plane ticket? He wondered. He grabbed the ticket from the ground and began to read Rhonda's letter.
As he thought, Rhonda's letter was less casual and more urgently sound. Like Eugene, Rhonda was quick to inform him that she had been conversing with Eugene and agreed with him that they need his help about what's been happening in their school. She said that for weeks, she had been trying to use her connections to find out who has been creating these rumors, but was not able to find anything. Apparently no one knew, or no one was willing to say about these rumors. She explained that the very fact that not even her well established connections were able to yearn any useful information meant that something deep and serious was going on in their school. As she herself said, "No information just goes over me without me knowing it!". She explained that was why she was offering Arnold a one way plane ticket to come back to Hillwood; they needed his help. Rhonda explained that he was the only person with the heart, determination and charisma that was able to inspire and unite everyone before, in order to stop Ludwig's attempt in reinstituting Trash Can Day and exclaimed that he could do so again.
Again, although wanting to help his friends, he was hesitant in taking such a drastic. Even with the plane ticket, he can't just get up and leave...could he? Wanting to get some more information, Arnold then read everyone else's letters, including Rodrigo's.
Sure enough, all of them contained the same sense of concern and frustration over the growing issue. It was the main topic of discussion. Everyone explained how many of their own friends and acquaintances had become victims of these rumours and slanders. Couples have broken up and some groups have splintered as a result. Gerald and Phoebe especially were particularly concerned, given that they were a mixed couple and saw many of their own fellow students who were in a relationship with those of different racial/ethnic background breaking up, either due to peer pressure or because each of them contain stereotypical, if not prejudiced views about their boyfriend/girlfriend's ethnicity. Both teens stated that their relationship had so far, not been affected by all of this, much to Arnold's relief.
Finally, after reading through all of their letters, Arnold relented; he would go back to Hillwood to help out.
My friends need my help and I have to go. He thought. But how? My parents come home tomorrow; not enough time for me to go to Hillwood and back. But...they are scheduled to go back to the jungle next week for a few days. Perhaps during that time I can go. That could work. Now all I need to do is just convince them to let me go.
Despite it being late and exhausted, Arnold quickly got to work to write Eugene and Rhonda a response letter, giving them the time and date of when he will be heading back. After that was completed, he then wrote a serious of points in order to try to convince his parents to let him go back to Hillwood for a few days.
When his parents arrived back home the next day, Arnold waited another day in order to allow them to rest before he spilled the beans. When that day came, he sat them down and bluntly asked them if he can return to Hillwood for a few days. When his parents asked why, Arnold explained to them that his friends have asked for his help and never the type of person to say no to someone who needed help, he explained to them the whole issue that has been happening in their school. Arnold also confessed to his parents about what he had been feeling since he came back from Hillwood in March; the emptiness and lack of belonging. He pleaded with them that not only did he want to go back to help them, but also because he didn't want to lose his friends. He was essentially going back not just to help them, but also because he wanted to go back, even if it was for a few days.
After some convincing, his parents relented and allowed him to go back to Hillwood. BUT, on the condition that he return home by the time they come back from the jungle, which only gave Arnold four days and he must not fall behind in his homework and assignments. Arnold agreed to all of these conditions and happily thanked them. He then immediately went to mail his letters to both Eugene and Rhonda.
His parents had their own ulterior motive for allowing him to go back. For some time, they had been growing worried about Arnold's inability to be a bit independent and not cling on them too much. It was one thing to want to spend time with them and catch up, but it was completely another thing to want to go with them to work and spend every single hour and day with them. Arnold was so anxious and fearful about possibly losing them again that he did not want to leave their side, not even for a minute. They were concerned that at this rate, he might lose contact with his friends and especially with Helga in Hillwood. Several times they tried to discuss this with them, but every time Arnold remained firm on wanting to spend as much time as possible with them and constantly assured them that he had not forgotten his friends, or the need to just be a normal teenager. They figured that considering that he will be going to Hillwood on his own, it was a big step in the right direction for him to be more independent. He had already been showing that for the past few weeks, so they were hopeful he could take this big step.
Arnold went to the nearest post office and mailed both letters. Then, he quickly made his way back home and began to immediately pack. As he began packing, he couldn't help but feel a sense of euphoria. Although only going to help out, he was also excited about it. This was something new; going back home unexpected and for the first time, going without his parents...
One week later...
Arnold and his parents arrived at the airport to drop him off as he went solo. Although initially excited about it, Arnold couldn't help but starting to feeling anxious about it.
"Have a safe flight, son." Miles said to him.
"Um, thanks dad." Arnold said nervously.
Seeing that his son needed some encouragement,
"Well be here to pick you up, son. I promise." He said with a smile. "We're not going anywhere this time."
"I know, it's just that..." Arnold began to say, but was then met with a loss of words. "...I just can't help but feel this way."
"I know, son." Miles said. "And you have every right to feel that way. But unless you take the first step to trust the fact that we WILL be here, you will always carry that fear. I promise that once you take that first step, the second one will not feel so bad."
Stella than approached Arnold and gave him a big hug.
"We're not leaving you this time; not for anyone." She said to him.
"Thanks, you guys." Arnold said, feeling reassured.
"Tell everyone we said hi." Stella said.
"I will. bye." Arnold said as he then made his way to the line in order to give the personnel his small luggage.
After waiting in line for a while and then going into the airport, Arnold tried whatever he could to ignore his anxiety and to just go with it. It was a tug of war scenario. There was times when he felt he was getting over it, only to fall right back. But he had no reservations about going back.
Eventually, the time came for him to board the plane. Taking a deep breath, he made his way into the gate, walked through it and boarded the plane. Once finding his seat, he sat down and buckled his seatbelt. While anxiously waiting, he grabbed a magazine and tried to read it, while listening to some music.
They are not going anywhere. They are not going anywhere. They are not going anywhere. He told himself frantically.
Finally, after having to put up with this for hours, Arnold had enough and banged the armrest with his fists.
They are not going anywhere! I'm going to Hillwood and that's that! I was fine before I found them; I can be so again! They will come to the airport to pick me up and I will be there to see them again! He told himself furiously.
No longer wanting to listen to his fears, Arnold grabbed a book that he took with him and began to read it, concentrating as much as he could on the content.
As the plane began to move backward and then forward, Arnold still continued on reading, completely ignoring his surroundings. Even when the plane began to speed up, he remained firm in his seat. Then, the plane tilted a bit and then lifted up, leaving the ground and the country. He was off. It was only then that he now put the book down, took a deep breath, and allowed himself to come to the realization that he was at a point of no return. He was on a plane, without his parents, completely out of his control as to whether or not they will still be there when he returned.
But it was precisely that realization that allowed him to move on; he never had any control over it to begin with. Even when he was with this parents, there was no way he could surveillance them 24/7. They often had to go on their own, sometimes ranging for almost a day before he saw them again and who knows what could have happened during that period.
A lot of things could have happened. He thought. I guess the reason why I was so hell bent on being physically close to my parents was because the last time they left and never came back, I didn't have any control over it. I was just a baby when they left. But now, this is something that I am choosing to do; I am being in control by making the decision for myself to go back to Hillwood and leave my parents in San Lorenzo. It wasn't forced upon me.
Feeling a bit relieve by these thoughts, Arnold slumped a bit on his seat and relaxed a bit. Grabbing his book once again, he began to read in order to pass the time. It was a six hour flight. For the second time in less than six months, he was going home.
