Author's Note, Please READ: Hey everyone! Okay, starting from this chapter onward, these chapters take place after the events of 'Hey Arnold: Civil War'.
Although it is not necessary you to read Civil War in order to under what is happening in this story, it will help you understand what went on between Rodrigo and Helga. I'm not going to spoiling anything, but if you want to know what happen without reading Civil War, you just need to read this chapter to get a no-brainer idea of what happened.
Enjoy!
*Beep**Beep**Beep**Beep**Beep*
"Good morning to everyone in Hillwood!" The announcer from MJZZ radio station said. "I am your morning's host, Ted and this is MJZZ radio news. It is going to be a be-autiful day, the temperature is going to be 90F (32C), a spectacular time for a day at the beach. And for all you kids out there, it is the first day of school which means, well, it just really sucks to be you right-"
*Clang*
"Shut up!" Rodrigo muffled under his bed sheet and pillow as he threw one of his shoes at his electronic alarm clock/radio.
He groaned and tossed around in his bed for a bit, but it was ultimately a futile attempt. As much as he wanted to continue sleeping, he had to get up and get ready for school. With whatever strength he was able to muster, he slowly got up, tossed the sheets away and sat up on his bed, rubbing his hands and long black hair.
Then he slowly got up and got ready, going to his closet to get some clean clothes. Then he made his way to the bathroom to get himself cleaned up a bit before he headed downstairs.
As he was washing his face, he took a look at mirror and saw his reflection. Instead of seeing the usual lively, determined and confident person that he usually was, all he saw instead was someone who was lost, almost beaten into submission and drained of any energy. Instead of having a smiling face, or feeling excited that he was starting the 12th grade, his facial expression was slumped down towards extreme fatigue and sadness. Not wanting to further look at his own poor state, he quickly finished up and headed downstairs.
At the breakfast table, Rodrigo just sat there, barely touching his breakfast and looking miserable. He was more like playing with it with his fork.
When his father, Alfonso, got to the table and sat down, he noticed the sad state his son was in.
"Rodrigo, hijo? Como te sientes hoy?" (Rodrigo, son? How are you feeling today?" He asked him with a sympathetic look on his face.
"No muy bien, papa." (Not good, dad.) Rodrigo just sadly responded without even looking at him. "No tengo apetito, ni energia para hacer algo." (I'm not really hungry, nor had any energy to do anything).
Alfonso said nothing and just looked at his son, feeling terrible for the way he was feeling. His break up with Helga hit him pretty hard. When Rodrigo told his parents about what happened, they were surprised and sadden by it. Not only because of what their son will be going through, but also because they had come to like Helga. Seeing her come over for dinner or whenever she came over just to hang out during those first months had not only become a normal occurrence, but also welcoming. That was why both Alfonso and Elisa took their breakup with a heavy heart.
"Nunca pensé que dolería tanto." (I never thought it would hurt so much). Rodrigo sadly commented.
Alfonso said nothing and with a rather disheartened look, looked down at the table.
"Uh, papa," Rodrigo then got his attention, "esta es la parte donde me das un grand consejo en cómo yo puedo salir de esta situación." (Uh dad, this is the part where you give me some advice on how to deal with this.)
"¿Quieres saber la verdad?" (Do you want to know the truth?) Alfonso asked him, to which Rodrigo just nodded as he continued to play around with his breakfast.
"Estoy seguro que tú estás familiarizada con la frase vieja, 'el tiempo cura todas las heridas'" (I'm sure you are familiar with the old saying, 'time will heal all wounds'?) He began, to which Rodrigo now annoyingly just nodded, thinking that his dad was going to say that phrase to him.
"En el momento que estás hoy, esa frase es una tontería." (At this moment, that phrase is a load of garbage) He said, which surprised Rodrigo. "no sirve." (It's useless.)
"Huh?" Rodrigo just said with a confused look. "Pero, ¿eso no es la verdad?" (But, isn't it the truth?)
"Si." Alfonso said with a nod. "Pero, ahora no sirve porque no estás preparado a moverte de lo que estás sintiendo ahora. Te duele, seguro y quieres curarte de esa dolería. Pero, ese dolor es la única conexión que tienes con Helga. Por eso nos amargamos cuando escuchamos esa frase, porque es verdad, pero todavía no lo quisimos ni escuchar, ni admitir. Todavía no quieres deshacerte de ese dolor." (Yes. But, right now it's useless because you are not prepared to move on from what you are feeling right now. You are in pain, for sure and you definitely want to it to stop. However, this pain is the only thing that keeps you connected with Helga. That's why we get angry when we hear that saying, because it's the truth. But you just don't want to hear it, nor admit it. You still don't want to depart from the pain.)
"Entonces, ¿qué puedo hacer?" Rodrigo asked. (So, what can I do?)
"Lo tienes que tomar un paso cada día." Alfonso responded. "Poco a poco, hasta cuando básicamente, te acostumbras. Se trata de normalizar la idea que ella ya no esta aquí." (You have to take it one step at a time. Slowly, until you get used to her not being there, basically. It's about normalizing the idea that she is no longer there.)
Rodrigo said nothing and just continued to look at his father with an unimpressed look. Despite taking his wise words, he wasn't too impressed with them. If anything, the fact that it will take a possible long time for him to get over this merely demoralized him.
"Disculpa, hijo." Alfonso said. "Yo se que no es lo que querías escuchar. Quisiera tener la respuesta para ayudarte, o el remedio. Pero, si necesitas ayuda, sabes que siempre estamos dispuestos." (I'm sorry, son. I know this wasn't what you wanted to hear. I wish I had the answer, or at least the cure. But, if you need help, know that we are always here for you.)
"No, esta bien, papa." Rodrigo said with a sigh. "Gracias igual. Bueno, me tengo que ir." (No, it's okay, dad. Thanks anyways. Well, I better get going.)
Rodrigo then slowly got up from his chair, kissed his parents goodbye, grabbed his bag and then left, all without even touching his breakfast.
His mother, Elisa, picked up his plate with a worryingly look.
"¿Tu piensas que va estar bien?" She asked her husband. (Do you think he will be okay?)
"Ahorita, no." He merely responded. "Pero eventualmente, pasara." (Right now, no. But this will pass eventually.)
At the Pataki house...
Helga also woke up to the annoying sound of her alarm clock and also ended up throwing a notebook at it. Only, she missed and it continued with its annoying ring, forcing to her to grown, open her eyes and struggled to get up.
*Beep**beep**beep**Clink*
"Stupid alarm clock." She annoyingly muttered as she banged on it with her fist, finally causing it to stop beating.
Helga just sat for a moment on her bed and rubbed her forehead, head and hair. With the first day of school now here, she was unnerved by what this year will bring for her. Unlike the rest of her classmates who were eager to finish their last year of school and prepare to start college or the workforce, Helga had her mind set on other things. For now, she was able to put her future aside for a moment while she dealt with what had been plaguing her the last few days of summer.
Finally, after procrastinating long enough, she finally got up from her bed and began to ready herself for her last year of school. After going to the bathroom to release herself and prep up a bit, she went back to her room to change. After slipping on some clean clothes, she went to her bedroom mirror and began to comb her hair.
Once she was finished, she then, almost automatically grabbed her necklace and was about to put it around her neck, when she suddenly stopped herself. For a moment, she just stood there and looked at it. This was the same necklace that Rodrigo had given her for her birthday. Since then, she had not taken it off, other than when she went to take a shower. But in the days since they broke up, she had ceased to where it, until now, where she almost did, but to her sadness realized that...she no longer needed to. Yet, she still grappled with that reality and for a short moment, struggled with herself on whether to put it on or not. But eventually, she relented and with a grunt and a heavy heart, put the necklace and just frowned at the mirror. She then grabbed a box that contained two photos of her and Rodrigo and put the necklace inside.
Once she put the lid, she then made her way to her closet and put the box there, only for her to grab another box and then went back to the mirror, but not before stopping by to look at her photos of her and Arnold. After getting back together with him, she put back the two photos of them together that she originally took out and replaced them with photos of her and Rodrigo. But now, she reversed them. Even while looking at the one man she had always loved, she couldn't help but taste the bitterness of what it had cost her to get him back and the person who got caught in the crossfire.
With a heavy heart and a glare, she silently walked back to her mirror. She opened the new box and took the content out. After unfolding it, she looked at what was her pink box and continued to glance at it for a moment, even caressing it with her fingers. With a bittersweet glee, she then tied it on her head, grabbed her old big blue hat and was about to put it on top of her head in order to hide it when she suddenly stopped herself.
For over two years, she had hidden her pink bow from public view, ashamed of not only having something on her head that was for kids, but also of the symbolism that it represented; her inability or unwillingness to move on from Arnold. But now, now that she was with him again, even if he was thousands of miles away, she wrestled if she should even hide it anymore, or if she should proudly show it.
"Screw it." Said said as she tossed the hat on her bed, no longer caring what people thought of about her and her pink bow.
However, she wasn't satisfied with just that. No, something else was missing.
"Hm, let me see." She said to herself as she untied her pink bow and began to play it, trying to put it on various ends on her head.
Eventually, she settled on having it lean a bit on the left side of her head, making it a bit more stylish.
"Better." She said, even letting out a smile small.
Once that was settled, she grabbed her backpack and went downstairs to have breakfast. Well, she was hoping there would be breakfast.
Meanwhile…
While Helga went downstairs to eat breakfast, Rodrigo was already on his way to school. Actually, he was almost there. He had decided to get there early. Apart from the fact that he didn't want to line up to get his agenda and other materials, he was also weary about seeing his friends, especially Helga.
As the bus arrived at his school and he got out, Rodrigo couldn't help but realize that Helga had been around him since the first time he set foot inside that school. For one whole year, he had seen, talked or mentioned her almost every day. Even when she wasn't around, he thought about her, about her personality, about why she was always so anger and cranky, about why she always seemed distracted, why didn't she look happy, etc.
Now, all that seemed to be a distant memory as the utter shock finally hit him when he arrived at school and realized that Helga wasn't there and she was not going to be around him for a long time. The sudden absence of her presence caused a jolt of pain to be suddenly felt. It was as if someone had quite literally ripped a big piece of himself away and he was now reeling at its loss.
Rodrigo said nothing and just let out a deeply sad sigh as he then entered the school and made his way to the gym. Once he got his agenda, he went to his locker, put his things away and just went to where his first class was and waited by the door for class to begin. He had no desire to meet up, talk, or even see anyone at the moment. He just wanted to be alone.
By the time Helga was done breakfast, yes, she managed to find some decent food in the morning and ate, she made her way out of the house, went to the nearest bus stop and once the bus arrived, hopped on and went to school.
Compared to Rodrigo, she was actually a bit late. Their friends were already on their way by the time she had finished eating. Yet, she was in no hurry to meet up with them. Like Rodrigo, Helga was not really looking forward on seeing them, mostly to stave off from the awkwardness and anxiety of seeing Rodrigo there, as well as what everyone might be thinking. She just didn't want to deal with it.
As she sat on the bus and looked out the window, she quietly remembered the last time she saw him. It as the day after Arnold had left for San Lorenzo. Once he went inside the airport and disappeared, everyone, still physically and mentally exhausted from their ordeal on saving the neighbourhood once again from Von Scheck a second time, as well having to endure a very turbulent civil war between them that almost saw their group permanently splinter and now having to watch Arnold leave, was prepared to head home and crawl back into bed. Rodrigo however, urged them to not let those things get in the way of them enjoying life. He argued that it was precisely for those reasons why they should instead go out and have fun, enjoy the last few days of summer; they deserved it. He suggested they should go to the beach to relax and enjoy the water. Getting their attention, the group became convinced of the idea until eventually it was decided to head over to the beach the day after. Once they had gathered all the supplies, the group headed out.
To everyone's relief, including Helga, going to the beach turned out to be a great idea. Everyone got the chance to relax, enjoy the warm weather and water, the food and sand on their skin. Helga couldn't help but let out a small smile when she remembered that. Even though they didn't really talk to each other, Rodrigo and Helga managed to be civil, talking only when necessary. The rest of the time, they went about their separate ways, conversing with their group of friends or enjoyed the water; anything didn't involve each other.
Helga had initially bought a two piece swimsuit that she was planning on wearing to the beach for him whenever they decided to go for that same summer while they were dating. As a good but cruel joke, she had planned on 'getting him a bit excited' while not allowing him to 'release' any tension. However, after they broke up, she abandoned that swimsuit and opted to just wear one of her typical one piece that covered her stomach and buttocks. She tried to return her two-piece swimsuit, but was no longer able to due to the return date being expired. Much to her irritation, she ended up throwing a good swimsuit away.
The thought of having to throw away that swimsuit caused Helga to frown hard and even let out a small growl. She wasn't concerned about the money she lost. She was livid that all the plans she had on what she wanted to do with Rodrigo for the summer had been completely tarnished by Arnold's sudden return to Hillwood, which only worsened when Von Scheck was released from prison and began to threaten their neighbourhood again.
Throughout the whole summer, Helga fought tooth and nail to stave off her love for Arnold to suddenly resurface with a vengeance. But she only ended up straining her relationship by self-isolating herself again, which in turn turned out to be futile. As much as she tried to deny it, she wasn't able to hide the fact that she was still deeply in love with Arnold and wanted nothing more than to get back together with him. Rodrigo realized this and ended things with her, which she very reluctantly accepted.
Seeing the still fresh memories of that summer still caused her stomach to turn and her anger to rise up, Helga immediately pushed such thoughts aside, put her headphones on and listened to some music.
Once the bus finally arrived, Helga made her way out and went inside the school to meet up with her friends. As she did so, she started becoming increasingly uneasy and tense. Like Rodrigo, Helga too felt that Rodrigo had been around her presence the whole of last year. If she didn't see him, she thought about him. If she didn't think about him, with the out most curiosity, she sought him out. But worst of all, Helga now had to contend on seeing him again after avoiding each other for some days.
However she felt about it, she knew she just had to play it cool and be civil.
If he talks to you, just reply back. She thought to herself. That's all you need to do; just be civil and understanding. He is still hurting, so he'll want some space.
While Helga made her way to the gym to meet up with her friends, another female teen also entered the school. Dressed in the latest fashion wear, with her signature red colour, Rhonda Lloyd entered the school with a determined look. The series of events that occurred that past summer had changed her. No longer did she feel she was the same person when before summer started. Rather, she felt transformed, more mature, more resilient, more focused on things that actually mattered. Instead of agonizing over it, her pivotal role on helping to stop Von Scheck had a positive influence on her and she was reveling in it. Even her appearance had changed. Her black hair, which was short last year, had grown considerably, now reaching past her shoulders.
To commemorate her newfound outlook on life, as well as their victory, she bought a red, French beret hat. It suited her well. With her beret and her long black hair, she looked almost like a beautiful WWII French female Resistance fighter, which is exactly the theme she was going for.
However, she was not done yet. After what she experienced, her priorities had changed and wanted to use this opportunity to better herself. No longer was she going to spend her time engaged in the latest gossip or trivial chit-chat, whether in person or online. Well, she would still do that, just less so. Being that this was her last year of high school, Rhonda now had to consider which post-secondary fashion school she wanted to go to. To prepare for that, she wanted to focus more on her studies in order to obtain the necessary grades to apply to some of world's most prestigious fashion school, specifically either at New York or Milan, Italy.
Yet, even with that, there was still something else that she also needed to handle, and unlike her post-secondary education, this one couldn't wait; Rodrigo. As she promised Curly, she had every intention on helping him during this difficult time. Knowing just how hard his break up with Helga was having on him, Rhonda was going to use as much of her time as possible to help him get him back up on his feet. No matter how long it was going to take, she remained adamant that she was not going to leave his side. It was the least she could for him after their almost serious fallout during the summer. She still found it incredible how Rodrigo managed to pull through that summer while the neighbourhood was being threatened, coupled with his relationship with Helga reaching a new low, his friendship with her becoming severely strained, while on top of it all, becoming leader of a rebellious faction against Arnold.
Geez! Just how did he managed to do all of that without falling apart?! She wondered. I almost broke down when we broke into the FTI building. Poor kid, I hope he manages to pull through this one. I just gotta help him. He's been through enough. This is his last year of high school and I want him to enjoy it.
But first, she needed to find him. As she entered the school building, she texted him to see where he was while making her way to the school's largest gym to meet up with anyone. Upon arriving, she met up with Gerald and Phoebe. Helga had just arrived there. Harold, Patty, Sid, Stinky, Peapod Kid, Park, Lorenzo, Sheena and Lila were also there. Nadine and Eugene were there too, but still had casts and crutches.
"Morning everyone." Rhonda greeted all of them, to which everyone, except Helga responded back with a hand wave or verbal response.
"Hey Rhonda." Gerald casually said to her. "Have you been in touch with Rodrigo?" He asked her.
"No." She replied back. "I texted him a few minutes ago, but he hasn't yet responded."
"Yeah, he hasn't responded to my texts either." He said.
"Has anyone else tried to reach him?" Rhonda asked.
"Well, I texted him about an hour ago," Sid said as he took out his cell, "but I also didn't get a reply back."
Everyone else looked at each other with worrying looks and expressions. Helga meanwhile just silently stood there, avoiding any eye contact.
"Well, I think it's safe to say that the kid probably wants to be alone." Gerald then said to everyone. "I think we should just give him some time. He'll come around."
Everyone, despite being worried about him, agreed. Helga said and did nothing and just continued to stare out into space with her usual stern face. In her honest truth, she was glad he didn't meet up with everyone.
"Alright well, let's get on inside and get our stuff." Gerald then directed everyone, who started going inside the gym to get their agendas and other forms.
"By the way Helga," Phoebe then said to her, "nice new look." She complimented her.
"Thanks, Pheebs." Was all she said.
"Say Helga," Sid then spoke to her, "isn't the the same pink bow you used to wear some years ago?" He asked her.
"You got a problem with that?" She then sternly asked him with a serious look on her face.
"No, no." Sid then stepped back. "Just wanted to know, that's all. It looks nice."
Helga said nothing else, backed down and just made her way to the table with the Letter 'P' in order to get her stuff.
The rest of the day went on as usual. The gang went to their new morning class, were introduced to their teacher, the course and what was expected of them. They were also given information on how to prepare for choosing and enrolling to any college institution, should they wish to. Although the thought that this was the last year they will be together weight heavily on them, the gang tried to go on as best as they could. School had just started, so they were still a long way off from the day when they will be saying goodbye to some people.
But right now, there was another issue that was bothering most, if not all of them. As the morning classes rolled by and lunch was about to start, Rodrigo had still not responded to anyone's text message. It was only when lunch started did Gerald finally receive a response from Rodrigo.
"What did he say?" Phoebe asked him when everyone, including Helga, had gathered around their usual lunch table.
"He said that he is busy with things and can't meet up with us." Gerald responded with an unconvinced look on his day.
"Oh dear." Phoebe remarked with a worrying look.
"How long does he plan on doing this?" Nadine asked.
"I'm not sure." Gerald said as he put his phone away. "I hope he doesn't plan on avoiding everyone the whole year."
Despite looking calm throughout, on the inside, Helga was completely distressed. She had expected him to avoid her, which was already a big burden for her. But, she hadn't anticipated him to avoid everyone. That was now bordering on serious concern as it made her realize that their strained relationship could possibly have negative effects on Rodrigo's friendship with everyone else. That she could not tolerate. It was one thing if Rodrigo ceased to have anything to do with her, but she will not allow him to cut himself off from everyone.
Just then, Rhonda arrived at their table and sat down.
"Any luck?" Gerald asked her.
"No." She said with a disheartened look. "He wasn't at his locker. I don't know where he is. I even went downstairs to ask his dancing buddies, but even they don't know where he is."
Rodrigo meanwhile was busy eating, well trying to eat, on his own at the football field outside of the school building. As he continued to try and eat, he stared out, trying to get his mind off of what he was feeling, by either distracting himself with what was around him or his music. But, nothing worked.
Why is this so hard? He thought. Was this what Helga was feeling when Arnold broke up with her three years ago? This is a terrible feeling! I have no energy, no desire to do anything. I just feel so...sad and hurt. I haven't felt this much pain since my extended family stopped talking to me and my parents.
Damn it! How did Helga managed to go through her days feeling like this, for three years?! It's only been about a week for me and I already can't stand it! I can't do anything! I can't stop thinking about her! I don't know how much more I can take this!
Rodrigo then angrily hit the bench he was sitting in with his fist in utter frustration, while letting out a frustrated growl.
This is not how I wanted my last year of high school to be! He continued to think. I don't want to mope around, feeling all miserable for a girl who not only was too much of a wuss to get over her first crush, but just isn't worth it! She was never worth it! I can't believe I even gave us a chance! I should have just pushed her away back in March and got her to get back with Arnold! It would have spared me from having to deal with this. I was so stupid! I hate this!
Rodrigo then forcefully took out his hat from his head and pulled his long hair in a fit of rage and frustration.
I don't care what I have to do! One day or another, I will get over this, even if it means never having to talk to her again! I don't care anymore! He angrily thought. She has Arnold now, she doesn't need me, which suits me just fine!
The first day of school ended like any other day for most teens. Except, for the gang, it ended rather awkwardly. They hadn't seen, nor talked to Rodrigo at all. And now, everyone was fearing that he might avoid everyone throughout the whole year, just so he didn't have to see Helga.
"Looks guys," Gerald then said to everyone on the bus as they headed home, "I know everyone is worried about the kid, but we just need to give him some time. He's feeling down right now and just wants to be alone."
"But, we need to do something, Gerald." Sid then said. "It's not right for Rodrigo to self-isolate himself like that. He's doing what Helga did. No offense, Helga."
Helga made no attempt to respond and just continued to look out the window.
"Sid's right." Peapod Kid then spoke out. "This group already feels a bit...empty without Arnold. Now it's gotten smaller without Rodrigo. Especially after what we all went through together this summer, it's not fair that he is going through this alone."
"I know it is." Gerald then said to everyone. "But if he wants to be left alone, we should respect that. There's no point in trying to talk to him if he doesn't want to. I think it'll just make things worse if we try to push him."
"I agree with Gerald." Phoebe then spoke out. "While I do not advice we should allow Rodrigo to self-isolate himself for long, it is my opinion that we should give him some time to mourn his loss and get himself used to this new paradigm shift in social relation."
Although everyone was still adamant on wanting to do something to help him, they all eventually, albeit reluctantly, accepted Gerald's and Phoebe's wisdom.
"Rodrigo will get through this." Gerald then spoke in order to assure everyone. "He's a strong kid. He will bounce back from this."
"But what if he doesn't?" Park then asked. "And even if he manages to get a hold of himself, what if he can't bring himself to be anywhere near Helga?" He just bluntly asked that delicate question in front of everyone.
The sudden question caused everyone to immediately tense up and brace for a guaranteed backlash from Helga. However, they were instead met with silence. Some of them gathered up the courage to turn around and look at her. Instead of seeing her glaring at Park or everyone, she was instead quietly sitting on her seat while looking out the window, as if she hadn't heard the question.
"Let's just hope it doesn't get to that, Park." Gerald then spoke up to answer his question.
Park didn't have to bring it up. It had been on everyone's mind on the possibility that Rodrigo may no longer be comfortable in being near Helga, let alone hang out with her, a problem that neither really had a clear solution to. The last thing they wanted was to empathize with someone at the other person's expense.
This dilemma wasn't lost to Helga. Although she tried not to show it, she was finding it increasingly uneasy when all eyes were staring at her, both metaphorically and literally speaking. Although she didn't suspect they were blaming her for the break up, she knew that they were bothered that her presence was having detrimental effects on their friendship with Rodrigo. And although no one dared say anything, she knew that if they had to choose someone to hang out with, Rodrigo would be a clear winner...
A few days later…
It had been a few days since school started and Rodrigo had still not yet bothered to contact anyone, nor even hang out. For almost a week, no one had seen him, whether at school or in the neighbourhood. Some even began to go around the school and look for him, at least to see if he was still alive. However, despite their best attempts to find him, he remained elusive. Others even tried to find him on the bus by going to school early. However, even that attempt failed.
At one point, Gerald even called his house, which his father pick up. When Gerald asked if he could speak with Rodrigo, his father told him that he was 'unavailable' at the moment and asked if he could take a message for him. Knowing that Rodrigo was not going to call him back, Gerald declined to leave any message and hanged up, much to his disappointment.
Once school had ended for the day, Helga decided to stay and work on her dance routine. After getting her things from her locker, she made her way downstairs to the small gym that was on the first floor. She had the asked the same teacher who held the last class of the day there if she could continue to use it. The teacher allowed her, so long as she cleaned up afterwards. Much to Helga's relief, it wasn't the same class that used to make a big mess after their class. Although she still needed to clean up after she was done, it was way less messy then last year.
When she arrived there, Helga wasted no time and with her own stereo, she put her bag down, plugged the stereo in, inserted a music CD. As she waited for the music to start, she positioned herself, ready to start dancing. As soon as the song began to play, she began to move when she then suddenly stopped and stared out into the empty gym. It was then that it hit her deeply, realizing to her immense dismay and heartbreak, that she was the only one there.
"Hello?!" She called out, only for her to hear her own echo echoing throughout the small gym.
The only sound she heard was the from the music that was playing, but other than there, there was utter silence.
Despite the music playing, Helga remained utterly still on the gym floor, staring out into what was the empty abyss, with nothing but darkness. The sheer silence only exasperated her as it began to penetrate deep into her skin, allowing her to feel just how truly alone she really was.
Ever since Rodrigo had offered to help her dance last year, he had been such an integral part of her routine. Not once did he ever miss out on their weekly meetups. Whenever Helga asked him to meet up, he happily obliged. Eventually, he became a big reason why Helga always looked forward to it and why he became an integral part in her calming down and distressing. Now Helga began to feel his absence deep into her bones and it was tearing her to pieces.
I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to cry, I'm going to...She began to think, but she couldn't prevent herself.
*sniff**sniff*
Feeling the full extent of his absence and finding it utterly painful, tears almost immediately began to appear and trickle down her cheeks.
I'm…I'm not a bad person. She tearfully tried to tell herself. I...I didn't mean to hurt him. I didn't want to hurt him…I just-I just wanted to be happy...
Helga couldn't bear it anymore and was about to succumb to the sobbing, but at the last minute, gathered whatever strength she had and not only prevented herself from crying hysterically, but even eventually managed to stop crying. After a few more sniffs and gasps, she managed to stop the tears and wiped away those that were still on her cheeks. She hadn't even moved and she already was feeling exhausted. However, she came here to dance to let it out all out in the way she wanted to. After getting a grip, and with a determined look, Helga listened to the music that was still playing and began to dance.
The next day…
Rodrigo arrived at the boarding house late in the afternoon. The day before, he received a call from Phil, asking him if he could come over and help out with some work that needed to be done on the house. Rodrigo for his part, had sworn that he would never set foot inside that house ever again, despite been fond of Phil, Gertie and the tenants. It just had too many memories. However, Phil sounded desperate on the phon. Rodrigo knew that, given his age, he could no longer do a lot of the things that he used to do. That was the whole reason why Phil needed a helper. Knowing he needed help and not wanting to take his anger and frustration out on Phil, Rodrigo very reluctantly accepted.
As Rodrigo stood in front of the door, he knocked on it. He didn't have to wait long for the door to open and for the various animals to suddenly come out and run outside, including a bat that just flew by Rodrigo's head. As soon as the door opened, the Latino kid was greeted by Phil.
"Hi there, Rodrigo!" Phil happily greeted him. "Thank you for coming on such short notice. I really your help on this one. I would have asked one of the tenants to help me out if they had any brain cells left in their heads on how to fix a simple leak."
"Hey Phil." Rodrigo just responded with no emotion or enthusiasm in his voice.
Phil's smile almost instantly disappeared when he saw the poor state Rodrigo was in. Not only did he look deplorably depressed, but he saw that he hadn't been sleeping properly.
"Hey uh, you alright Rodrigo?" Phil worryingly asked him.
"Not really." Rodrigo sadly responded. "I take it Arnold never told you what happened between me and Helga?"
"Well I um, err…" Phil tried to come up with any excuse or explanation, but realized that it was fruitless to even try. "Yes, he did." He then said with a guilty look. "I was just hoping it was something else that was bothering you."
"I wish it was something else." Rodrigo just sadly replied.
"I'm really sorry things didn't work out between you and Helga." Phil sympathetically said to him.
"Yeah, me too." He just sadly replied.
Phil truly felt bad for the boy, as well felt conflicted. While he was happy that Arnold and Helga got back together, he was also worried how Rodrigo will cope with all of it. He knew his relationship with Helga has gone cold and he also knew it was one of the main causes of his little civil war reenactment with Arnold, but he was stunned when he learned that he ended things with Helga just so she could be with him. With everything that Rodrigo went through that summer, he felt the Latino kid deserved to have gained something from it, not come out of it with less than with what he went in. Nevertheless, there was little he could about it. It was his decision to end things with her, as well as Helga's to accept it.
"Um, is Helga here right now?" Rodrigo then suddenly asked, causing the old man to tense up.
Oh dangamit! He groaned in thought. I completely forget that she was scheduled to clean up the place today.
"Um, I'm afraid so." Phil sheepishly said to him. "She is in Arnold's room cleaning up."
Rodrigo said nothing and just slumped down more into his own sadness and misery.
"But um," Phil then quickly said, "the work I have for you is in the basement and outside. It shouldn't take too long."
"Um, sure Phil." Rodrigo then reluctantly said. "Would it be okay with you if I don't really see Helga?" He shyly asked. "And once I am done the job, if I could just head home right after?"
Phil said nothing and just nodded, understanding that it was too painful for him to see Helga and for him to stay for dinner like he usually did after working. Then he allowed Rodrigo to come inside so he can get started.
Poor kid. Phil thought as he directed Rodrigo to the basement. Why can't love be simpler, like in the gold ol' days. Back in my day, once you found a girl, you just held on to her. You didn't break up with her and then get back together like most teenagers do now.
While Rodrigo helped Phil with a leak down in the basement, Helga continued cleaning Arnold's room. Although Arnold tried his best to clean up his room before he left, he still left it in somewhat of a mess. The countless meetings, arguments and debate he and their friends had in his room, not to mention all of them sleeping over before they infiltrated into the FTI building left his room like it had been struck by a tornado.
Not that Helga minded it. For her, the room was a place of sanctuary where she could relive much cherished memories of them, as well as be in a place of peace and tranquility. She didn't know why, but Arnold's room and its theme had always brought a sense of deep homeliness and calm in her.
Helga took great care in tidying up his room, organizing everything down to the last detail, exactly the way it was before he left Hillwood three years ago. In some respects, his room had become her own shrine of him, now much amplified. And just like with her old shrine, she relished in it, using every opportunity to feel, touch, smell, taste (yes taste. What was she tasting? It's best not to find out) and remember. And now that she was with him again, she was free to start monologuing as often as she wished.
Oh Arnold! She swooned in thought. My beloved, my muse, my eternal light. So far, and yet so close you are to me! By the sweet smell of your own Arphroditic sensation, how I can feel you so close, how I can feel your skin and soul penetrating me deeply into the very heart that is my soul, intertwining. Let you always know my love, that I will be here, waiting for your eventual return-
*Clank**bang*
Helga immediately stopped monologuing when she heard something coming from outside. Although a bit irritated that she was interrupted, she was nevertheless curious and she went over to the window and peeked out and who she saw instantly caused her to gasp and almost make her heart stop.
Rodrigo? She thought to herself in surprise. What's he doing here?
When she saw him that he was taking out some garbage and putting it into the cans, she realized that Phil must have asked him to come over to help. After watching him a bit, Helga then stepped away from the window and tried to get back to work. But, she was unable to. She kept wanting to go back to that window and watch him. She initially tried to ignore it and just continued with her work, but with each passing second, she felt being pulled more and more toward that window. The more she tried to resist, the stronger that pull became.
Ugh, fine! She grunted in thought as she put her cleaning products away and went back to the window.
However as she glanced down again, she saw that he was no longer there, much to her dismay. Helga then angrily banged on the wall and stepped away from the window. But instead of going back to work, she began to reflect on what she should do.
"Okay, Rodrigo is here, so this should be a good opportunity to go down and see him." Helga then began to talk to herself as she walked around in Arnold's room.
"But, if he really wanted to see me, he would have come up here by now." She continued. "I'm sure Phil must have told him that I'm here, so he must know that I'm here and he's just avoiding me."
Helga then stopped walking around and reflected on that last sentence.
"Avoiding me." She said to herself, this time sadly, again. "He doesn't want to see me…"
The very thought of him avoiding her like the plague, even if he had his reasons, hurt her. For a moment she let out a sigh and looked down on the ground with sad eyes. However, she then looked up and began to frown.
"But, he can't be doing this forever." She then spoke again and began to walk around in her room. "He's gonna have to face up sooner or later. So, why not do it now when it's just us?"
"Ugh crimeny, why is this so hard?!" Helga frustratingly exclaimed. "Why can't we just go back to the way things were before we dated? It's getting ridiculous! Why is he taking this break up so hard?" She continued to talk. "He only like 'liked' me. He doesn't love me. He's never shown it and he would have told me if he did. So what gives? Why is he moping around as if I just completely ripped his heart out?"
None of this made any sense to Helga. While she admitted that Rodrigo would be hurt and sadness by their break up, she didn't expect him to take it this hard, up to a point where he was avoiding his own friends. And besides, he was the one that broke up with her, not her. Although she did eventually accept it, she had been trying all summer to prevent it from happening, not that it did her any good.
"Screw it!" She eventually exclaimed and marched right towards the door, opened it, exited Arnold's room and began going downstairs.
Helga continued to march down the hallway and just as she reached the second flight of stairs, she immediately stopped when she heard the tenants, who were just below the stairs, talking.
"Boy, did take a look at Rodrigo today? He doesn't look so good." Ernie said.
"Ya. He looks really sad." Mr. Hyunh said back with a worrying tone.
"Maybe he is sick." Oskar commented.
"Yeah, sick of all the drama he had to deal with this summer." Ernie remarked. "It took a lot out of him."
"Why did Helga break up with him?" Mr. Hyunh asked. "I thought she liked Rodrigo."
"She didn't break up with him." Ernie said. "Didn't you hear what Arnold said when he told us? Rodrigo was the one who broke up with her."
"But that was stupid of him." Oskar said with his thick Czech accent. "Why did he let her go without fighting for her first?"
"Why did Helga just allow him to break up with her?" Ernie countered. "If she really liked him, she would have done all she could to stay with him. You know how stubborn Helga can be when she has her mind set on something. But she didn't, and now Rodrigo is suffering the consequences of that. I mean look at the poor guy. Before, he used to come here all happy and cheerful. Now, he can barely stand."
"Yeah, she really broke his heart." Oskar agreed.
"Will you three nincompoops pipe down?" Phil then suddenly appeared and angrily said to them. "Helga is right upstairs and she might hear you. You think this was easy for her? Let me tell you something. It wasn't! This little love circle took its toll on all three kids. I'm still surprised all three of them still managed to band together to stop Von Scheck. It was a very grown up thing to do and we should commend Helga for that."
"Jeez, sorry gramps." Ernie said. "We're just worried about Rodrigo, that's all."
"Ya, he doesn't look good at all." Mr. Hynuh commented. "Helga at least has Arnold again, so she is okay. What did Rodrigo get?"
Phil didn't have an answer for that at all and just sighed. The tenants got the hint and said nothing else.
"In any regards," Phil then spoke again, "I need to help Rodrigo. Unlike you three, he is useful when it comes to fixing this old crate."
"Hey, I offered to help, old man." Oskar complained.
"Not if it means you having to live here for free!" Phil irritatingly exclaimed. "And besides, you don't know the difference between a wrench and a hammer."
"Hey, I can always learn." Oskar said.
"A bit late for that." Ernie softly muttered.
Phil said nothing else and just rolled his eyes before turning around and heading back to the basement.
Helga meanwhile stood completely still and listened to their entire conversation. Although she usually hated when people talked about her behind her back, this was an unusual occasion when her anger did not rise up. Rather, she remained calm throughout. Once Phil went back to the basement, the rest of the tenants dispersed and went elsewhere.
Although she was initially determined to talk to Rodrigo, after hearing their conversation and listening to Rodrigo's condition, she lost all motive to confront him. Realizing that he was indeed hurting badly and was in no condition to see her, Helga began to feel utterly guilty and with a sad look, merely turned around and went back upstairs.
Later that day...
Once Rodrigo was finished with the tasks Phil had for him, he wasted no effort in leaving the house as soon as possible. Phil made no attempt to convince him to stay for dinner and just accompanied him to the door.
"Thanks for all your help, Rodrigo." Phil said to him. "It was much appreciated."
"No problem, Phil." Rodrigo responded with an emotionless tone in his voice.
No sooner when Phil opened the door did Rodrigo began to head out.
"I'll see you later, Phil." Rodrigo said as he was stepping out of the boarding house.
"Hold on there for a sec!" Phil suddenly exclaimed, prompting the Latino kid to stop and turn around.
"Listen uh Rodrigo," Phil then began to say with a soft and sympathetic tone, "for what all of this was worth, I just wanted to say that, well, that was a really brave and selfless thing you did for Helga."
A bit intrigued by Phil's compliment, Rodrigo said nothing and just looked at him.
"I don't mean because she and Arnold are now back together." Phil then quickly added. "Well, I am happy for them, but not at your expense. W-What I mean to say is that, I know what you did for her and it's not something I take lightly. Very few people would ever do that for someone."
"Well, thanks Phil." Rodrigo softly remarked, even letting out a very small smile.
"I mean seriously," Phil then continued, "what you did was just borderline crazy. What normal, sane person would do something like that? Letting go of the person they like, just like that? No one I tell you! Why, I haven't seen that much of a selfless sacrifice since my days in the army-"
"Phil," Rodrigo the interrupted him with a stern voice, "I get the point. Thanks. It means a lot."
"Right, right." Phil embarrassingly said with a smile. "Sorry about that. At my age, you tend to ramble on without a filter. Thanks again. Hope you feel better soon."
Rodrigo just smiled at him before then turning around and headed down the stoop and home. Phil stood by at the entrance for a bit as he watched Rodrigo leave. Then, he simply closed the door, locked it and just as he turned around,
"Holy canoli!" Phil exclaimed in fright when he saw Helga standing right in front of him.
"You trying to give me a heart attack of something?!" Phil annoying exclaimed at her. "What were you doing just standing there? What are you, a stalker or something?" He asked her.
"Well gee, where ever did you get that idea, Phil?" Helga sarcastically remarked with a smirk. "I came down to ask you where can I put these?" She asked him as she gestured the items that were in her hands.
"Oh, just put them in the closet down stairs in the basement." Phil answered her, still annoyed that she startled him.
But, before Helga had a chance to leave, Phil then continued to speak.
"Alright, out with it, missy. How much of it did you hear?" He asked her with his hands on his hips.
"I heard everything." She dryly answered him.
"Were you wanting to talk to him?" He asked her.
"No." She just softly replied before turning around and headed to the basement.
Phil just stood there for a bit, looking confused and rubbing his bald head before then heading towards the kitchen.
After finishing up in Arnold's room, Helga stayed a bit longer to have dinner at the boarding house. It was better than heading home. At least at the boarding house, there was a guarantee that she would be fed.
However, she just quietly sat down and ate her meal, intentionally avoiding from making any eye contact or conversing with the tenants. Furious that their conversation had disheartened her from talking to Rodrigo, Helga had to try to not explode at them. The tenants meanwhile, oblivious that she had heard them, continued eating or conversing with one another.
Once she was done and helped with the dishes, Helga bid her goodbyes and went home. Once making it inside, she quietly made her way upstairs and into her room.
Once inside, Helga just exhaled as she leaned against the door, exhausted by today's event. She then went to her bed where there were blank pieces of papers, her notebook and pens. She grabbed them, lied down on her bed and began to write.
Dear football head,
I hope this letter finds you in better spirits than here. It is our last year of high school and everyone is feeling a bit uneasy. Although we don't talk about it, it weighs heavily over us the fact that after this year, we will be going our separate ways. Even for me, I cannot properly express the anxiety and even sadness of having to be apart from the very people, who I'll admit I was never close to, but who I have known since preschool.
The worst is when I think about Phoebe. She has expressed strong interest in going to an out of state university, possibly California or Virginia, but hasn't yet made a final decision. Where ever she decides to go, I cannot bear on seeing her depart from my life. She is my best friend, my rock, my lifelong support. She was there when no one else was, not even you. I can never thank her enough for that and it is all the more painful to think about her leaving, even if it's only temporary.
Which brings me to you, Arnoldo. I do hope you are hitting those books and bringing your marks up in order to get into a college on US soil. I mean really, it shouldn't be that hard for you. You just go and memorize things that you will not end up using in your adult life, write them on the test and boom! You got your A.
But in all seriousness, I really do hope you get approved to come back. I miss you, very very much. Not a day goes by when I don't think about you. Even when I was with Rodrigo...I still thought about you, to my shame and even disgust. Figures. How pathetic is that? I was dating someone, only to think about you. I must really be that messed up. I still don't know what you see in me, let alone what Rodrigo saw in me that was anything 'attractive'. You must also be messed up if you still love me, which I thank the Gods everyday for.
Rodrigo. What can I say about him? Well, he is absolutely miserable, I can tell you that. I achieved what I had always be my forte; hurting others. Naturally, he's been avoiding me and our friends, just so he doesn't have to see me. And, I am at a loss on what to do. It's been really hard not seeing him. It just isn't the same without him. Earlier today, he was at the boarding house helping your grandpa. I wanted to go downstairs and talk to him, but I was deterred by those imbecilic tenants that you somehow still call 'family'. I'm not going to bother to write what they said, but let's just say that it made me lose all motivation to want to talk to him, for his sake. They weren't saying anything bad about me. Only the truth. Rodrigo is hurting and he needs to be left alone.
I honestly don't know what my stance is with him. I don't know if I should intervene, give him some space, leave him alone permanently. I don't know what I am to him. Are we friends? Does he want to be friends? I don't even know what my feeling are for him. I don't know what to do! This unknown is killing me! I'm a control freak. I need to take charge and end this, or at least find out where we are going. UGH!
Anyways, sorry to burden you with all of this, but I really needed to let it all out. I hope your last year of high school isn't crushing your spirits too much. Let me know what your progress is with your studies. Don't worry, I'm not going to go down there and set you straight if you get a lousy mark. Well, maybe when you're not expecting, hehehehe.
Your love,
Helga G. Pataki
Once Helga was done writing her letter, she grabbed it and carefully placed it inside one of her binders where she has kept all of her letters that she had written to him, but never sent. Once that was done, she then grabbed her bag, got a textbook and began to do her homework.
