As the days and some weeks continued to flow by, the group continued to take turns shifting between hanging out with Rodrigo and then Helga. For a while, it seem to work as a new equilibrium seemed to have finally been reached. Rodrigo and Helga had no complaints about it.

However as the school year continued to go deeper and deeper into the month of October, this new 'equilibrium' soon began to grow weary and then tiresome. For starters, it required everyone to spend as much time as possible with both teens, discouraging anyone from choosing to hang out with one teen at the expense of the other. This didn't really sit well with some members of the group, as each had their own preference on who they would have liked to hang out more, seeing that they had more things in common with that person. Sid, Harold and Stinky mostly preferred to hang out Rodrigo, as he was more willing to talk to them than Helga who just seemed annoyed whenever they approached her. Contrary to that, Nadine, Sheena and Lila, preferred to hang out with Helga more, especially whenever their conversations were either private, or were not suitable for any male teen to be involved in. However, not wanting to make any one of them feel left out, they continued with this increasing charade.

Secondly, this new arrangement heavily restricted members of the group from doing anything else. Although everyone was allowed to do other things during their lunch recess, it soon became impossible to keep track of which person they already hanged out with and which person they still needed to. Not to mention that some members of the groups began to take advantage of this confusion by spending more time with whom they preferred.

Despite their best effort, the group slowly started to lose their yearning to help the two teens and began to find the new arrangement annoying. The only positive news that was coming from this was Rodrigo. In the weeks since they implemented this new arrangement, everyone continued to see noticeable improvements in him. He began to converse more, participated in any sports they organized either during lunch recess or after school. He even found his groove and began to hang out with his dancing friends during lunch recess, providing much relief for the gang.

However, Rodrigo made it clear that he was still not comfortable seeing Helga. Even the mere mention of her name was enough to hamper a whole day's improvement and could push him back into sadness and despair, much to the chagrin of his friends. So, everyone did what they could to avoid having to say Helga's name, which wasn't really a problem since few ever had anything to say about her. However, it dampened everyone's mood that despite their best efforts and with Rodrigo improving, there was still no clear indication of when this avoidance was going to end, much less if they were ever going to reconcile. Much to Phoebe's dismay, she ended up having to convey this bad news to Helga, who predictably, wasn't at all happy. If anything, it saddened her, although she didn't show it.

Eventually, with the end of October fast approaching, the group had enough and stopped taking 'shifts' between the two teens. Although some continued to hang out with one of the teens, most instead decided o let them decide if either of them wanted to hang out with the group. Making it a 'the first call is a winner' type of thing, the group simply waited to see who would be the first to contact them to see if they wanted hang out with them. Whoever called first won and the group would inform the other that the spot was no longer vacant. It was just easier for everyone. Not surprisingly, Rodrigo was often the first to win the spot to hang out with the group. Helga seldom bothered to try.

Despite this new 'new' arrangement, some continued to hang out with the person who lost this calling bid. Nadine, Lila and Sheena and to some extent Gerald still made an effort to hang out with Helga whenever possible. While appreciating the gesture, Helga had always preferred to just hang out with Phoebe. So, it didn't bother her if the neither of them hanged out with her during lunch recess.

Finally, October came to end. The season had already drastically changed since the start of school. Autumn had arrived. The temperature began to fall drastically, allowing cold freeze to fly through the city, forcing everyone to start wearing their long pants, shoes and coats. The leaves began to change into their distinctive, yet beautiful coloured arrangement of yellow, red and orange, with most already falling. Sunset had already arrived early, covering the whole city with a blanket of darkness by 7pm.

Rhonda had decided, to the shock of many, not to organize her famous Halloween parties. Despite the urging of her many of her fellow classmates, including those at the top of school hierarchy, explaining that since this was their last year of high school, a final, all knock-out Halloween party should be thrown. However, Rhonda still declined, giving her own reasons that with her school workload, her concern for her final grades and on her post-secondary education, she had no time to organize a party. There was some strong truth to this, especially since Rhonda still felt tired after what she and her friends went through last summer. She and everyone else hadn't fully recovered from their ordeal with Von Scheck, so it was unlikely they would have attended. Yet, these weren't the only reasons.

Rhonda simply did not feel right to throw a Halloween party bash while Rodrigo was still down. Apart from the fact that she knew the party would elicit strong but painful memories, given the state he was still in, she didn't think he would want to come. And if he wasn't going, it was a guarantee that Helga would not attend either, although that was of secondary importance to her, if at all. Not to mention that she was still trying to help the poor guy, so that took even more of her time.

Interestingly, Rhonda had no problem organizing her parties or other festivities at her house during the three years when Helga was emotionally still struggling over her break up with Arnold. But then again, she was never close to her. But then again, Helga was never the type of person people were generally able to get close to. Plus, she and Gerald had attempted to contact her in the first year of her break up, but Helga never returned their calls, nor did she ever approach Rhonda for help. Granted, the gossip queen didn't put her heart and soul into it, but she did try. So, why would her help her when it was clear that she didn't want it, at least not her help?

Regardless, during the month of October, Helga had become distressed at the fact that she had not seen Rodrigo since before school started and with the way things were going, there was little chance of that changing. However, by the time November arrived, she had began to see his absence as an everyday thing, as something normal. She initially found this new feeling hurtful, but it soon began to wither away and it affected her less and less. Slowly, her mind drifted from thinking about Rodrigo, of when she will ever get to see and talk to him again, towards the future; Arnold. She only had around 8 months left to wait for him to pack his things and make his way back to the US mainland to attend college, which she hoped it would be in Hillwood or somewhere close to her.

Rodrigo too, with time passing by, had began to find Helga's sudden absence in his life as an everyday, normal occurrence. Although still feeling down and embittered, with each passing day, Helga's absence from his life allowed him to slowly bounce back.

Since the school year began, both teens had made no attempt to contact each other, even going so far as to avoid any areas that the other would usually hang out. Helga tried hard to stay away from going to his locker and the first floor where Rodrigo's friends would usually meet up and dance. Rodrigo in turn stayed away from going near her locker, the gym on the first floor and the theatre to avoid seeing her. With November now here, both teens slowly began to realize that any hopes of either of them becoming friends again were quickly evaporating. Slowly, they accepted the painful reality that their friendship and any association had reached its conclusion. There was really nothing left but to accept this outcome and...move on.

At the Castile's house...

Rodrigo arrived home from school one day.

"¡Mama, papa! Ya llege!" (Mom, dad! I'm home!) He called out to them as he took his shoes off.

"¡Estamos en la sala, hijo!" (We're in the living room, son!) His mother called out to him.

After putting his bag down, Rodrigo went over to the living room, where he found his parents...and his dad looking visibly upset.

"¿Papa?" Rodrigo said to him when he saw how upset he was. "¿Que paso?" (What happened?) He asked.

Alfonso was sitting on the sofa, but leaned forward and covering his face with his hands. Being too upset, he wasn't able to answer his son's question. His mother, Elisa, got up to explain to him what had happened.

"Rodrigo," His mother, trying to be calm and supportive, began to say to him, "es tu abuela. No está bien. Se enfermo y su condición está bien critica. Hay una chance que...no va sobrevivir." (Rodrigo, it's your grandmother. She is not well. She got sick and is in critical condition. There is a chance that she...may not survive.)

The news hit Rodrigo like a ton of bricks and it made him numb. All he was able to do was just stand there, looking at his mother with wide, shocking eyes.

"¿Papa, es la verdad?" (Dad, is it true?) Rodrigo asked him, still too clearly shocked to believe what his mother had just said.

"Si, Rodrigo." His father finally answered him as he got up to look at him.

Rodrigo could not believe what he was hearing. He could not comprehend what he had just learned. However, not wanting to start making hysterical assumptions, as well realizing that his father needed as much support as possible, he soon snapped out of his shocking trance.

"No te preocupes, papa." Rodrigo tried to sound encouraging. "Ella se va mejorar pronto. Estoy seguro que no es tan serio." (Don't worry, dad. She will get better soon. I'm sure it's not that serious.)

"Ojala que no, hijo." (I hope so too, son.) His father said to him. "Sin embargo, decidí a regresarme para cuidarla y segura que se sane." (Nevertheless, I decided to go back home to take care of her and to ensure she gets better.)

"Por cuanto días?" (How long?) Rodrigo asked him.

"Aproximadamente una semana." (About a week.) Alfonso said to him.

"Okay." Was all Rodrigo said to him. "¿Cuando te vas?" (When do you leave?)

"Mañana." (Tomorrow) He answered him.

"Oh." Was all Rodrigo could say. "¿Necesitas ayuda en empacar?" (Do you need help packing?) He asked him.

"Si por favor, si tienes tiempo." (If you have time, yes please). His father said with a dispirited voice.

"Por supuesto tengo tiempo, papa." (Of course I have time, dad.) Rodrigo said to him.

And with that, Rodrigo followed his father to his room where he immediately began to help him pack.

After having a very quiet and awkward dinner, Rodrigo spend a few more minutes with his dad before he then went upstairs and tried to do his homework. Yet, knowing that his grandmother was seriously ill, he could not help but think about it and the level of confusing emotions that he was feeling at that moment. Eventually though, he had to tell himself, almost forcefully, that his grandmother will pull through and that there was nothing to worry about. Barely managing to finish his homework, Rodrigo got ready for bed and prepared for what he knew will be a long and rather sleepless night.

The next day, after bidding his father farewell before he hopped onto a taxi to head to the airport, Rodrigo tried to continue on with his day as normally as he could. Although the news nearly caused him to fall to pieces, his anger and grudge that he still had for his grandmother prevented him from succumbing to that. Actually, a part of him felt glad at the news and hoped that the old hag would finally die and leave him in peace. But at the same time, that made him feel not only guilty and terrible, but deeply saddened and disgusted with himself. How can he think like that about his own grandmother?!

Even with his conflicting emotions circulating around his mind and chest, he tried as best as he could to not give his friends any indication that something else now was bothering him. Thankfully, they were none the wiser. Not even Gerald, Rhonda or Phoebe were able to pick up on it.

During the next few days, Rodrigo tried to be optimistic about all of this, constantly telling himself that his grandmother was going to be okay, that she was going to pull through and get better, his father would come back, glad and happy that she recovered so that he can go back to his normal life. Well, so that he can go back to try and reclaim having a normal life again.

There's nothing wrong with her. There's nothing wrong with her. He thought to himself. She is just a little sick, that's all. She will pull through, she always does. Just keep it together man and move on with your life. This is nothing serious. It'll soon blow over.

Three days later...

Rodrigo came home from school. As usual, he took his shoes off and put his bag down on the school as he went in.

"¡Llegue, mama!" (I'm home, mom!) He called out, but did not receive a respond.

He made his way into the living room, where he saw his mom just getting off the phone and looking visibly upset.

"¿Mama?" Rodrigo said again.

"Oh, Rodrigo!" Elisa exclaimed in surprise. "Me asustaste! No te escuche entrar." (You scared me! I didn't hear you come in.)

"Disculpa, mama." Rodrigo said to her. "No te quería asustar." (Sorry, mom. I didn't mean to scare you.)

"Está bien hijito." (It's alright, son) Elisa said as she tried to give Rodrigo a loving smile.

"¿Quien fue?" (Who was it?) Rodrigo asked.

"Fue tu papa." (It was your dad.) Elisa responded with an unpleasant, emotional tone in her voice that unnerved him.

"Oh si? Que a dicho? Como esta su mama?" (Oh ya? What did he say? How is his mom?) Rodrigo attentively asked, intentionally not calling Alfonso's mom his grandmother.

Elisa tried to answer him, but hesitated not just on whether or not tell him, but also how. Plus, she didn't know how he would take it and was a bit uneasy on the unknown. Eventually, with no other option, she opted to just bluntly tell him.

"Lo siento mucho Rodrigo," his mother began to say to him with a sympathetic tone, "pero tu abuela no se mejoro. Falleció la noche anterior. Tu papa estaba allí hasta al fin." (I'm so sorry Rodrigo, but your grandmother passed away last night. Your dad was there until the end.)

Rodrigo said nothing and just stood there completely still and silent. What he had been trying to deny for the last three days had come true. Despite knowing of the possibility, the news so shocked him that he was almost rendered into a catatonic state. Elisa waited for him to say or do something, but went it became clear just how much of an effect the news was having on him, she grew increasingly worried.

"¿Rodrigo, hijo? Estas bien?" (Rodrigo, son? Are you okay?) She asked him, even approaching him a bit closer in case if she needed to grab him

"Um...si, mama." Rodrigo was barely able to utter a word out. "¿C-Como esta papa?" (H-How is dad?) He asked her.

"Bien triste. Hasta casi estaba a punto de llorar en el teléfono." (Very sad. He almost started crying while on the phone.) Elisa sadly replied. "Pero, él sabía que este podría ser una posibilidad. Entonces por lo menos, estaba preparado." (But, he knew that this could have been a possibility. He prepared himself for it.)

"Okay..." Was all Rodrigo could say before he, still in a shocking state, merely turned around and left the living room.

"Rodrigo? Dónde vas?" (Rodrigo? Where are you going?) Elisa asked.

"A mi cuarto." (To my room.) Was all he said with an emotionless, still voice.

"Hijo, ¿estás seguro que estas bien?" (Son, are you sure you are alright?) His mother worryingly asked him, noticing his son's still shocked state and voice.

"Si mama. Necesito hacer mi tarea." (Yes mom. I just need to do my homework.) Rodrigo responded with an almost robotic voice as he grabbed his bag and headed up the stairs and into his room.

Elisa looked on with the typical worrying mother look as he ascended the stairs. As much as she wanted to go up there and see if he was truly alright, she thought it best to just let him be to register the shocking news. She could only imagine what he must be going through right now. He had not yet recovered from his break up with Helga and was now burdened with the news of the death of his grandmother, a family member whom he was once closed to, but had now passed away without ever getting the chance to reconcile.

Over the new few days, Rodrigo tried his best to continue on with his life and attended his classes. He attempted to push away the various levels of emotions that he was feeling, but he found the entire enterprise just impossible to ignore. He confusingly and hopelessly dragged himself through his days as his mind temporarily lingered between anger, hate, deep sadness and despair without rest. In truth, he had no clue what he was feeling, let alone how he should be feeling about it.

He knew that he should be feeling sad and pain over the loss of his grandmother. But, he continually found it difficult to feel anywhere near sorry or sad. And whenever he did, his feelings just suddenly shifted to frustration and anger, even hate, or to the more extreme; happy that she was finally dead and hence, out of his life. But even more to his irritation, whenever he did feel those feelings (anger, hate and happiness), his mind would just as quickly shift back to remorse, sadness and the pain of loss.

What the hell is happening to me?! He angrily thought one day. Why can't I just make a decision and feel just one thing? Why am I constantly shifting back and forward with this?!

One day during lunchtime, Rodrigo arrived at the same lunch table where everyone met up. Completely lost with his train of thought and conflicting emotions, he momentarily forgot about his break up with Helga and hence, forgot to even ask if she would be there. Luckily for him, she wasn't.

After making his usual greetings, he sat down to eat. However at one point, he then took out his phone and began to scan through a series of old photos. They were of him and his grandma when he was little. Throughout lunch period, Rodrigo just quietly and with increasing sadness, looked at each photo of them together, as he slowly slumped further and further down on the table. The photos told a completely different picture than the reality he was right now living in. In them, he could saw happier times, a time when things were not only simpler, but just, for lack of a better word, perfect, when everything was the way it should be.

Yet even with him scanning through photos of him and his grandma, it did little to stave off the conflicting emotions that he was feelings. One particular emotion that had been plaguing him and was itself torn, was anger. It wasn't just anger at his grandmother for scoffing at him for his 'delinquent' behaviour and pushing him away. It was also the anger and frustration of never having been able to reconcile, a fact that deeply hurt him. In the years since he stopped talking to her, as much as he tried not to, he clang on to the hope that they would one day be able to reconcile. Now, it was not to be and it not only hurt him, but angered him, specifically at how stubborn his grandmother was on never wanting to move past their animosities. Rodrigo would at any time have given his grandma a chance. She just didn't.

As Rodrigo continued to scan through the pictures, he came across a particular one that he hadn't seen in a while and when he did, his heart completely sank. The picture was of him when he was five years old and his grandma was giving him a piggy back ride. His grandfather took the picture. Rodrigo was happily laughing and smiling, while his grandma, with her usual big glasses, was also laughing and looking up at him, feeling so happy and proud of him. He remembered that day well. It was a perfect day. Indeed, whenever he went over to her house it was always a perfect day. Nothing ever went wrong. The sadness that was he experiencing at that moment at the lunch table tore him to pieces and it showed on his face to such an extent that it began to draw attention.

"Hey, what you looking at, Rodrigo?" Sid then suddenly asked.

"Huh? What?" Rodrigo startlingly said as he sat right up. "Oh, it's nothing." He said as he quickly put his phone away. "It was just some old photos."

Thinking that he was looking at photos of him and Helga, Sid and everyone else just shrugged their shoulders and reverted back to what they were doing.

The next day...

Rodrigo came home from school as fast as he could. His father had arrived back home and he was eager to see him.

"¿Papa?" Rodrigo called out as he took off his coat and shoes. "¿Estas aqui?" (Dad? Are you here?)

"¡Estamos en la cocina!" (We're in the kitchen!) His mother replied back.

Rodrigo wasted no time and quickly ran to the kitchen, where his father was indeed there.

"¡Papa!" Rodrigo happily exclaimed as he went over to both greet and also to comfort him.

"Hola hijo. Bien a ver te otra vez." (Hi son. Good to see you again.) His father said to him with a soft, but sad tone. Although, he did let out a small smile and hugged him back.

"Lo siento mucho, papa. Mis condolencias." (I'm so sorry, dad. My condolences.) Rodrigo said to him, trying as hard as he can to sound genuine.

Alfonso said nothing and initially just hugged his son even more.

"Gracias, hijo." He said.

"Ojala que no sufrió." (I hope she didn't suffer.) Rodrigo remarked. Again, trying to sound genuine.

"No, no sufrió." Alfonso said to him. "Murió mientras dormía." (No, she didn't. She died in her sleep.)

"¿Ella te a dicho algo?" (Did she say anything?) Rodrigo asked.

"No mucho, hijo." (She didn't say much, son.) Alfonso replied. "Como estaba tan enferma, era un poco difícil para ella de hablar." (Because she was so sick, it was a bit hard for her to talk.)

"Oh." Rodrigo said, albeit a bit disappointedly.

"Pero, ella quería que tu recibías esto." (But, she did wanted you to have this.) Alfonso then said as he pulled out an envelope and gave it to Rodrigo.

"¿Qué es esto?" (What is it?) He asked.

"Es una cara que ella escribió para ti." (It's a letter that she wrote to you.) He explained. "Me pidió que te le entrega tan pronto cuando regrese." (She asked me to give it to you as soon as I return.)

Rodrigo initially didn't say anything and just looked at the envelope with a confused look. He had not expected his grandmother to write him a letter, much less give him anything before she passed away. He thought she had forgotten all about him.

"Gracias, papa." He finally said as he put the envelope in his pocket.

"Dime hijo, ¿cómo te sientes?" (Tell me son, how are you doing?) His then asked him as he placed a gentle and supporting hand on his shoulder

Rodrigo said nothing and just stared at his father with an extremely nervous and uneasy look. In truth, he did not want to answer him. Apart from the fact that he did not have a clear answer for him, he also didn't want to risk hurting him more than he was already feeling.

"Está bien, Rodrigo." (It's okay, Rodrigo.) His father than said to him when he noticed his hesitation. "No me necesitas decir nada." (You don't need to tell me anything.)

"Okay..." Rodrigo said to him a bit uneasy and guilty. "¿Ya desempacaste?" (Did you already unpack?) He then asked him, trying to change the topic?

"No, todavía no." (Not yet.) He responded. "Recién llegue; dos horas antes cuando tu entraste." (I just got back; about two hours before you arrived.)

"Déjame desempacara para ti, papa. Descansa." (Let me unpack for you, dad. Just rest.) Rodrigo then offered.

"Gracias mi hijito." Alfonso gratefully said and even smiled again.

Rodrigo just nodded and then quickly went to the living room where Alfonso' luggage was, grabbed it and pulled it upstairs towards their room and unpacked it.

Later that day, the Castiles settled down for dinner. Although happy to be reunited, it was anything but a happy occasion. The table was eerily quiet as everyone silently ate their meals. Alfonso barely had the desire to eat, so he only asked for a small dish. Rodrigo meanwhile was falling more and more into despair, as he still struggled with his feelings. Even seeing his own father sad and upset wasn't enough to curtail the shifting state of emotions, which only served to anger him even more.

I can't take this anymore! He angrily thought. This is driving me nuts! Why can't I just feel either sad or glad that she's dead now?!

"Rodrio, hijo. Estas bien?" (Rodrigo, son. Are you alright?) His mother Elisa asked him when she noticed that he was very aggressively cutting right through his steak and was scrapping the dinner plate with his knife.

"Huh?" Rodrigo soon snapped out of it and looked down to see what he was doing. "No, no me siento bien, mama." He honestly responded. "¿Me puedes dar permiso? No tengo hambre y quiero estar solo." (No, I'm not okay mom. May I be excused? I'm not hungry and I need to be alone.)

"Si hijo." Alfonso granted permission.

Rodrigo got off from his chair and headed straight towards his room. As he left, his parents gave each other a very worrying look. They knew that out of everyone, their son was bearing the brunt of this loss and it was made all that more stressful and complicated given his strained relationship with his grandma.

Alfonso had always hoped that Rodrigo would one day be able to reconcile with his grandma, at least for his son's sake. It was very upsetting to see his own son and mother clash and hate each other, especially when they were once so close. Despite Rodrigo being more flexible, he knew that both were guilty of being stubborn individuals and it was largely their unwillingness to compromise or simply 'agree to disagree' that led them to the state that, well now one of them, found himself in.

"¿Tu pienses si debo hablar con él? (Do you think I should talk to him?) Alfonso asked his wife.

"Si. Pero, todavía no." Elisa responded. "Creo que todavía necesita más tiempo en figura como él realmente se siente." (Yes. But, not now. I think he still needs time to figure out what he is really feeling.)

"¿Tú piensas que esta emocionadamente confundido?" (You think he is emotionally confused?) Alfonso asked.

"Creo que si." (Yes, I think so.) Elisa responded. "Creo que quiere lamentar la muerta de su abuela, pero todavía no se atreve a hacerlo. Hay mucho resentimiento, hecho peor en que nunca tenido la oportunidad en reconciliar." (I think he wants to mourn his grandma, but can't bring himself to do it. There is still too much resentment, made worse that he never had the opportunity to reconcile.)

Alfonso just sadly sighed and sat back down to try and eat his meal, relenting to his wife's wisdom. He just hoped Rodrigo would be able to finally rid himself of all of that resentment and anger.

The next day...

Rodrigo had to almost literally drag himself when he entered the lunchroom and sat down at their regular lunch table. Completely emotionally exhausted by his inability to figure his feelings out, he did not bother to ask if Helga was going to be at the lunch table with everyone. Luckily for him she wasn't. However, Helga was the last thing on his mind right now. Sitting down and opening his lunch box, he depressingly attempted to eat his meal.

Unfortunately, if he was planning on having some quiet time alone, he made the poor choice of going to the lunch room. No sooner had he sat down and starting eating when his friends noticed just how exhausted and depressed he looked.

"Hey Rodrigo, you alright man?" Gerald asked him. "You look exhausted."

Everyone else stopped what they were doing and began to stare at him, waiting for him to answer.

Rodrigo stopped eating, sighed and rubbed his eyes and face. He wanted to badly lie so they can get him off of his back. However, feeling he was on the verge of exploding, was no longer able to bear it.

"My grandmother passed away a few days ago." He sadly replied.

"What?!" Gerald and everyone else exclaimed in shock.

"Oh man, I'm so sorry." Gerald sympathetically said to him.

Everyone else also muttered out their sympathies, even getting a bit closer to comfort the poor guy.

By now, everyone was already aware of Rodrigo's strained relationship with his extended family, assuming there was any relationship left. This was especially so with his grandmother. So, everyone was aware at just how bad he must be taking it.

"What happened man?" Gerald. "I mean, how did she pass away."

Rodrigo then grudgingly began to tell the whole story, starting from the phone call that his father received back home, him having to fly out for the week in order to help take care of his mother and prepare for her eventual passing.

"Is that why you were looking so bummed out these last few days?" Sid asked.

"Ya, pretty much." Rodrigo sadly replied back. "Anyways, I got this letter from her, right before she died." He continued as he pulled out the enveloped that he received from her, via his father. "I have no idea what she wrote. I didn't yet read it."

"Why not?" Stinky asked.

"Quite honestly, I don't want to." Rodrigo said as he put the envelope back into his pocket. "It's probably another attempt at her chastising me and telling me what a bad kid I have been, blah, blah, blah."

"Well, why don't you open it and find out?" Gerald suggested.

"I'm not going to bother." He said with a frown as he then got up and started leaving the table.

"Where are you going?" Lorenzo asked.

"Sorry guys, but I just need to be alone for the moment." Rodrigo softly explained. "This has been a really bad school year for me and I just need to some time to get this thing sorted out."

And with that, Rodrigo grabbed his things and left the lunchroom, disappearing into the school hallway.

"Poor Rodrigo." Lila sympathetically remarked.

"Yeah, I feel really bad for the guy." Park commented. "He's a shell of what he once."

"I reckon we utta do something." Stinky agreed.

"We will." Gerald then spoke. "We'll support him however we can. But right now, let's give the man some space. We don't want to overwhelm him."

Everyone agreed and reluctantly sat back down to eat their lunch.

A few minutes later, Rhonda and Nadine entered the lunchroom and made their way towards their friends.

"Wow Rhonda, you already got this year's latest Nancy Spumoni winter boots?!" Nancy excitedly asked her best friend. "They weren't yet supposed to come out until December. How did you manage to get a pair?"

"It was simple, Nadine." Rhonda proudly said. "The Nancy line had manufactured few of these boots and were looking for a few individuals to advertise them online. Naturally, they came across my online profile and seeing how many fans I have who are following me, they contacted me and asked me if I was interested to advertise their product. Naturally I accepted. They arrived yesterday and I was able to take a few photos and post them on my profile. Here, take a look."

Rhonda then handed her phone over to Nadine to look at the photos she took with her new top of the line boots.

"Wow! They are gorgeous!" Nadine exclaimed, almost squealing with excitement.

"Oh my god, they so are!" Rhonda just as excitedly agreed as they approached the table and sat down.

"Hey Rhonda. Hey Nadine." Gerald casually greeted them.

"Hey Gerald." Nadine greeted him back.

After greeting everyone else, the two female teens then proceeded to eat their lunch.

"Is Rodrigo coming to join us today?" Rhonda asked as soon as she swallowed what was in her mouth.

"He was." Gerald then replied. "But he wanted to be alone. He uh, received some bad news from back home."

"What bad news?" Nadine asked.

"His grandmother passed away a few days ago." Was all Gerald said.

Like everyone else, that was all he needed to say to Nadine and Rhonda for them to realize the severity of the situation.

"Oh no!" Nadine worryingly exclaimed. "Is he okay?" She asked, even though she knew it was a dumb question.

"Not really." Gerald replied. "The poor guy has taken a serious beating. Whatever progress he made from his break up with Helga, it all seemed to just go out the window with this news."

As Gerald brought both Nadine and Rhonda up to speed, Rhonda said nothing and just silently, but very attentively continued to listen and stare at Gerald with a look that rang both shock and instant worry. When he was done, Rhonda then got up from her chair.

"Where did he go?" Rhonda asked Gerald.

"Not sure." Gerald said. "He said he wanted to be alone and just left."

Rhonda then said nothing else and began to walk away from the table. However, Gerald then instantly spoke to her, getting her attention.

"Rhonda, Rodrigo said he wanted to be alone for the moment." He reiterated.

"I heard you the first time." Rhonda responded with a stern voice. "I just...need to make sure he is alright."

Rhonda then quickly walked away before Gerald or anyone else tried to stop her, left the lunchroom and went to find him...which was way, way easier said than done.

As Rhonda walked through the hallways, she tried to think where he would go.

Perhaps he went where I found him last time. She thought.

Rhonda immediately went to the top floor of the school, hoping if he was there. He wasn't. But, she was not discouraged. She then went downstairs, towards his locker. Once on the floor, she quickly jogged down the hall, where, to her relief, was Rodrigo, sitting on the floor, next to his locker.

I found him! She excitedly thought.

But, she then had to calm herself down. She wasn't there to hang out with him. She was there to comfort him. Cautiously, she went over to him.

Rodrigo was oblivious to her approach. He had his headphones on and was attentively listening to his music, with his eyes closed and his head down. Just then, he felt a tap on his shoulders. Almost surprised, he opened his eyes and looked up and saw Rhonda.

"Hey." She said to him with worrying eyes.

"Hey." Was all Rodrigo said to her.

"I heard what happened about your grandmother." She then cautiously said to him. "I'm so sorry."

"Thanks." He just somberly said.

"I know this is a stupid question, but, how are you feeling?" She asked him.

"Nothing," He softly replied, "and everything."

Rhonda stood there and looked at him, trying to see of any indication if he wanted her to stay or not. Not really sure, she took a risk and sat down beside him.

"What do you mean?" she asked him.

"I just feel utterly confused about it." He said almost frustratingly. "I'm supposed to feel completely hurt and sad about it, but I don't feel like I am. And whenever I do, I almost immediately starting getting resentful and angry. Or worse, I get happy; happy that she's gone, which in turn, causes me to either become sad that I feel that way, or angry at myself or her. My emotions constantly shift back and forth. It's like they can't even make up their minds. And this back and forth is making me have major mood swings. Should I feel be feeling sad and hurt, or should I feel bitter and angry, or just happy? Which one?!"

Rhonda could clearly see this has been c bothering him and tried her best not to upset him more.

"How long has this been going on?" She asked him.

"About a week now." He groaned in frustration. "I've been trying to rationalize it, trying to come up with elaborate theories in order to disentangle this wed of confusion. I even resorted to reading some philosophical works that talk about the motions, but nothing. No matter what I do, or how much I think about it, nothing works! I'm about to explode here!"

"Maybe you just need someone to talk to." Rhonda suggested. "Perhaps another person can give you a different perspective on how you are feeling."

"Perhaps." Rodrigo agreed, although he didn't sound convinced.

"Did your grandmother say or give you something before she passed?" Rhonda asked.

"Yeah." Rodrigo muttered. "She gave me this letter that she had written before she died." As he took out the envelope that contained the letter inside it.

"Did you read it?" She asked him, seeing that the letter was still inside the envelope.

Rodrigo just shook his head.

"It's probably just her going on and on about how much of a good and obedient boy I used to be, that I've changed for the worst and everything about me and what I believe in is evil and rotten, blah, blah, blah." He bitterly complained as he frowned.

"Rodrigo, I know you're upset and all, but you shouldn't make assumptions like that." Rhonda said to him. "You don't know what she actually wrote unless you actually read it."

"You don't know my grandma." He said to her. "She has a serious tendency to hold grudges for years. No matter how much a person has changed, or how sorry they are, she doesn't let it go. She enjoys reminding the person of their past, just so she can feel better about herself. She is just a stubborn old hag."

Rhonda said nothing, but just looked at Rodrigo with shocking eyes at how low he thought of his grandmother.

"Screw it. I should just throw it away." He then said as he got up and headed straight for the trash can.

"Wait, don't!" Rhonda than exclaimed, prompting him to stop and turn to face her.

"What?" He asked her.

"Look, I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do, but just take a day to think it over." Rhonda then suggested. "I really do think you should read it. If what you said is true, that she wrote to you just to make you feel worse, then you at least won't be surprised if that's the case. But if it's not that, then what she wrote could actually help you cope with what you are trying to feel."

Rodrigo said nothing and just stood there, looking unconvinced.

"It's your choice if you want to read it or not." Rhonda continued. "But, do yourself this one favour and just sleep on it. If you feel the same way tomorrow, then throw it."

"Fine." He agreed as he made his way back to his seat and sat down.

However, as he sat down, Rodrigo made no other attempt to say anything else and Rhonda for her part, didn't know what else to say.

"Anyway," she then said as she got up, "I know you want to be alone right now, so I'll take my leave. I just wanted to see how you are doing."

"Thanks," He just said. "for everything, Rhonda. You've been a big help on trying to get me back up on my feet. This news was just unexpected and came at a bad time."

Rhonda said nothing and just smiled as she placed her hand on his shoulder.

"You'll make it through this one." She said to him before she then departed.

Rodrigo smiled as Rhonda walked away, thankful that he had much needed support from his friends, but especially from her. Once she left, he just sighed, put his headphones back on and listened to some music.

Later that same day...

School had ended for the day and all the students prepared to head home. Helga made her way to the bus lane, where her friends were already there, including Phoebe.

"Hi Helga." Phoebe greeted her. "How was your day?"

"Hey Pheebs." Helga just casually greeted her back. "Same as always. Yours?"

"It was alright." She said.

Just then, the bus pulled over and opened its door, allowing students to get inside. Once the gang got in and sat down, the bus closed its door and began to move again. Helga and Phoebe sat a bit further back from their friends.

"Rodrigo came by to have lunch with us today." Phoebe then brought up the topic.

"Oh?" Helga said. "How was he today?" She asked.

"Not well, I'm afraid." Phoebe said to her. "Remember how I told you that he has been feeling rather down lately?"

"Yes." She replied.

"Well, he told us what has been bothering him, and it doesn't have to do anything with the break up." Phoebe said, looking a bit uneasy.

"What happened?" Helga asked, getting more curious now.

"His grandmother passed away a few days ago." Phoebe finally told her.

"What?" As all Helga said, as the shock not only almost reeled against her seat, but also caused her to tense up.

Unlike everyone else, Helga had a better understanding of Rodrigo's strained relationship with his grandmother. While everyone only knew that they were once close, Rodrigo would sometimes talk about her to Helga and privately admitted that despite their animosities, he missed her and still retained the hope that they would one day reconcile. With her passing, Helga knew the full repercussions of what Rodrigo was facing.

"Phoebe, why didn't you tell me this sooner?" She sternly asked her.

"I'm sorry Helga, but to be honest, I wasn't sure if Rodrigo wanted me to tell you or not." She explained. "But since he never said anything and the fact that you would know more about the subject, I concluded that you had the right to know."

Helga just sighed.

"It's okay Pheebs." She then said. "Thanks for telling me."

"Are you going to call him later today?" She asked her.

"No." Helga responded. "I have another idea in mind. Not sure if it's going to work, but I have to try."

"But first," she continued, "I need to know everything he said to you."

"Sure." Phoebe just said.

The next day...at lunch recess...

Just like yesterday, Rodrigo had his lunch by his locker, away from everyone, away from any distractions. Well, he was trying to have his lunch. Still feeling highly conflicted, irritated and just extremely exhausted, he remained seated on the floor and just listened to his music.

Although by now he was slowly starting to get a grip with what he was feeling; mainly pain and loss, he still wasn't able to mourn for her death. Something was still preventing him and that was making it all worse. Whatever sadness was there, it quickly evaporated and gave way to resentment.

Stupid old hag. He bitterly thought. Couldn't see past her own ignorance and stupidity to see what good of a grandson I actually am. Because her, I can't even let all of this go. Even in death, she is still tormenting me! I hate her!

Just then, he felt a gentle tap on his arm. Rodrigo groaned a bit on being distracted once again, but nevertheless took his headphones off and looked up to see who it was.

Who is it this time? He irritatingly thought. It better not be Gerald or Rhon-

Rodrigo immediately stopped himself when he looked at the person who was standing right in front of him. The level of shock that was on his face was so great that his eyes opened wide and his jaw almost dropped to the floor. He hadn't seen this person for more than two months. He had until recently, been consciously avoiding her. It was only with this new issue that he completely forgot about his break up with Helga G. Pataki. Yet, there she was, standing tall right in front of him with pigtails and her usual stern face. Although he was still too much in shock for it to really hit him, he had missed that face and her, a lot.

"Hey." She finally said to him.

Rodrigo was still reeling from seeing Helga for the first time in months and at first, just continued to look at her with stunned eyes, almost as if he was smitten yet again by her feisty, yet insatiable beauty.

"Hey..." He finally managed to utter something out.

"I heard about your grandmother." She then said, trying to stave off from the serious awkwardness of not having seen each other in months. "I'm so sorry."

"Is that why you're here?" He asked, not really particularly keen or happy to see her. "Just to offer your condolences?"

This was not a happy reunion. There were no happy greetings, not even a 'hey, I haven't seen you in months? How you been?' type of greeting. Instead, both just looked at each other with stern, emotional neutral faces. None really knew just what kind of a reunion this was. Was it a happy one? An awkward one? A resentful one? All of the above? Whatever the case, Helga had deemed it necessary that despite their strained 'friendship', she needed to be there for him in person, regardless of how he felt about it.

"No." She said as she then went over and sat down beside him, regardless of whether or not he was even yet comfortable in seeing her.

"I know this must be really difficult for you. So I'm here to offer my help." She said to him.

Rodrigo wanted to initially tell her straight that he didn't need her help, much less want to see her. However, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Something was preventing him from doing so. He wasn't sure what. Perhaps it was the fact that he missed her terribly, or that he didn't want to take his anger and frustration out at her. Or perhaps, he was taken back at her usual decisive, firm stance to sit down, making him have little choice in the matter. Or maybe, just maybe, perhaps she is the person he needed to talk to. Whatever the case, he relented and allowed her to sat beside him, even though her being so close was making his heart beat rapidly and body started to become tense.

"I take it Phoebe told you what happened and brought you up to speed?" He asked her.

"Yeah, she did." She said. "Don't be mad at her for telling me."

"I'm not." He said. "If I wanted it to be a secret, I wouldn't have told anyone. Heck, even Rhonda knows."

"So what is this I hear about a letter?" She then directly asked, getting back on topic.

"My grandma apparently wrote me a letter before she died." He said as he it took it out.

"Did you read it?" She asked him, to which he just shook his head.

"Why not?" She asked him.

"Because it probably just contains her scoffing at me like she always does, maybe even telling me that she hates me." He assumed.

"You don't know that." She bluntly said to him. "You should read it and find out." She 'suggested'.

"Yes I do." He said. "And no, I don't want to read it."

"No, you don't know and yes you should read it." She insisted. "You won't know for sure unless you read it."

"I thought you came here to help me, not argue with me." He said with a bit of an irritated tone.

"I am helping you." She said to him. "I'm trying to make you see past your anger and confusion."

Rodrigo said nothing and just groaned in frustration. He was already regretting on letting her stay. The only thing that prevented him from actually telling her to leave was the small possibility that perhaps she may be right.

"What's the worst that can happen?" She continued. "You're already assuming the worst. So, if she is actually chewing you out in that letter, than at least you'll know now for sure, won't be surprised, and can move on without a thought. But you won't know for sure unless you actually read it."

Rodrigo said nothing and just thought about it in silent, all awhile looking at the envelope.

Maybe Helga is right. He thought. I'm already assuming the worst, so I won't be surprised if she is actually cussing me off. I shouldn't assume unless I know for sure that-

"No!" He then firmly exclaimed. "I don't need her garbage." He berated as he then got up and headed straight for the trash can. "I don't need her in my life anymore. Rhonda asked me to think it over and I did. She is dead to me and it's time to move on." As then extended his arm and dropped the envelope right into the trash can.

Rodrigo then headed back to his seat, but instead of sitting down, he merely grabbed his belongings.

"Where do you think you're going?" Helga asked him as she got up.

"Anywhere but here." He said as he stormed off, leaving her.

Helga said nothing and just watched with a disappointed looked and her arms crossed over her chest.

Nice reunion. She sarcastically remarked.

After seeing him leave and realizing there wasn't much that she could do, at least on that day, she merely grabbed her bag and began to walk towards the other direction when...she stopped after taking her first step and then looked towards the trash can.

Helga stood perfectly still as she continued to stare at the trash can. After a while, she then looked toward the direction where Rodrigo left.. Once the coast was clear and he had disappeared from view, she then quickly went over to the trash can, put her hand inside it, grabbed the envelope that Rodrigo that thrown and immediately put it inside her pocket and walked away. Well, she first walked towards the nearest washroom to wash her hand.

Once school ended and Helga arrived home, she immediately headed towards her room. Once safely inside, she took out the envelope, went to her desk, sat down, took out the letter that was inside and began to read it.

The next day after school...

Rodrigo walked out of the school at the end of the day in a foul mood. Despite his determined stance to put any more thoughts of his grandmother in the past, he hadn't yet been successfully. No worse, him throwing her letter away had only stiffen his unconscious to keep memories and thoughts of her around. It began eating him inside, as if he had thrown away all fond memories, affections, relationship, their history of them as a family, for good.

With an irritated frown on his face, he exited the school and was making his way toward the bus lane when suddenly,

"Rodrigo!" Helga then suddenly yelled his name as she ran towards him.

Rodrigo didn't say anything and just turned to face her as she approached him. Helga had to catch her breath a bit, but once she did, before he had a chance to say anything, merely shoved a piece of paper right at his chest.

"You need to read it." She firmly said to him.

Confused as to what she meant, he grabbed the piece of paper and looked at it. He only read the first few words on it when he realized what it was, much to his shock.

"You grabbed my grandma's letter from the trash can?" Rodrigo asked with a shocking look.

"I didn't just grab it. I read it." Helga unapologetically remarked. "And you need to read it." She said to him again.

"What?! Why did you do that?" Rodrigo asked with an angry and disappointed look. "That letter was only meant for me. You had no right to read it."

"Hey, you threw it in the garbage." Helga just countered. "As far as I'm concerned, it no longer belonged to you, so anyone could read it. If you didn't want anyone to read it, you should have ripped it."

Rodrigo said nothing and just gave Helga an irritated frown. Seeing that she had ruffled his feathers,

"Let's go for a walk." She gestured to him as she turned around to walk towards back to the school.

Rodrigo initially just stood there and watched her walk away. He then looked at the letter again, before then looking back up. Eventually, he moved and ran up to catch up with her.

As the two teens continued to walk, neither said anything to each other. It felt like such a long time since they were this close to each other. Their sudden presence was creating a highly awkward situation, which the silent only encouraged. The only thing that prevented things from getting too uneasy as Rodrigo's situation.

Helga merely continued to walk in silence as she ripped up her coat and adjusted her scarf in order to keep herself warm from the cold breeze of that November late afternoon. Rodrigo did the same. Helga led him towards the back of the school and onto the football field until they reached the wooden crowd benches. They went behind it and it was only then that Helga finally turned around and faced him.

"What your grandmother wrote to you," she began to say, "is not what you think it is."

"I know I'm the last person you want to be around with, or even talk to," she continued, "but you need to trust me on this. This is something you need to read." As she pointed to the letter. "I wouldn't have bothered to come see you if I didn't think it was going to help you."

Rodrigo remained quiet and just looked at her with a stern and irritated face, unconvinced.

"Crimeny Latino boy, will you just trust me on this?!" She yelled at him, losing her patience. "I know seeing me very awkward and it's just rubbing salt on the wound, but I'm here because I care about you, okay?! I'm not just going to sit by and allow you to waddle in own your pitiful state like I did. I can't help you with getting over me, but I can help you with this and I'm telling you that you need to read it; for your sake."

Rodrigo still continued to look at her, but at last he began to listen to her and consider it.

"You were able to read all of this and understand it?" Rodrigo asked. "Even if it was hand written in Spanish?"

"It took me all night to read it and constantly having to look at my Spanish dictionary, but yes, I did manage to understand it all." Helga replied.

Despite being angry at her for reading it, Rodrigo looked at her with a bit of an impressive look. He knew Helga knew Spanish, but her reading abilities weren't that great. So, considering that limitation and that the letter was hand written, making it even more difficult to read it, Rodrigo was impressed, as well as a bit touched at her determination to decipher it, just to help him. Finally, that last part pushed him to place some faith in her words.

"Okay fine." He said as he then sat down on the ground.

Helga said nothing and just sat down beside him and waited for him to finish.

Rodrigo opened the letter and from the top, began to read it.

Mi querido nieto,

Te escribo esta carta en este momento donde yo siento que estoy en un cruz de camino. Por tanto tiempo, sentí que la muerte estaba continuamente acercándose a mi, pero nunca la admití. Pero, ahora que me estoy echando en mi cama, esperando por el Señor que me lleva, se me a forzado a reflexionar mi vida entera.

Como ya tu sabes, yo logre muchas cosas en mi vida. Cosas que yo puedo decir con mucho orgullo que no repiento. Pero admito que si hay cosas que si repiento. Mucho de ellos no me importa a reflexionar mucho, como ocurrió hace mucho tiempo y como una vieja muriéndose, son irrelevante; menos uno. Este arrepentimiento, por un largo tiempo, me estaba comiendo por adentro,pero yo tercamente lo ignore. Ahora que estoy cera a la muerte, ya no lo puedo tolerar y no tengo otro remedio que escribir esta carta. Mi querido nieto, mi grande arrepentimiento era lo que te hice, el dolor que te cause y por empujándote fuera de tu familia, fuera de mi.

Mientras me hecho en mi lecho de muerte, yo pensé las diferencias que tuvimos. Toda mi vida, yo valore mis crecimientos y pensé que valían la pena luchar por ellos. Ahora me di cuenta, con mucha tarde, que tan insignificado, irrelevante eranrealmente.

The única cosa que debería haber importado era tu. En vez de usar el tiempo que tenia para estar contigo, lo gaste en odiándote y empujándote. Yo debería haber usado estos últimos anos abrazándote con todo mi amor, como lo hacia antes. Pero por mi orgullo y por ser terca, no lo hice. Aunque intente, nunca puedo odiarte, mi Rodrigito. Nunca lo podía. Siempre te ame y todavía te amo. Tu siempre estabas en mi corazón, incluso cuando no estabas en mi vida.

Cuando hablo con tu padre, yo siempre pregunto por ti. Lo pregunto como andas, como va las coses en la escuela y en tu vida. El me dice que tu te adaptaste bien en tu nueva vida en Hillwood, que hiciste nuevo amigos y incluso que tienes una pareja! Estoy muy alegre contigo! Te felicito, mi querido nieto. Lo que me contado tu padre, parece como una buena y hermosa niña. Les deseo muchos años juntos.

Nunca me puedo perdonar por la lastima y el dolor que te cause. Nunca me perdonaré a mi mismo por gastar el toco tiempo que teníamos en diferencias tan insignificado - porque si son insignificados. Aunque es demasiado tarde pormi para expiar mis pecados, no es tarde para ti. Por eso, te pido que me perdones mi hijo mio por todas las cosas que te hice. Perdona mi ira, mi terquedad, mi ignorancia y mi estpuidez.

No te estoy pidiendo que me perdones por mi beneficio, pero por el tuyo. No comités el mismo error que yo cometí. No continuas a contener el odio entre ti mismo. Suéltalo. Ser libre. Tu sabes como el odio puede ruinar tu bien estar y hogar. Entonces por favor, no dejas que gane. Solo te estas lastimando a ti mismo.

Yo se que te estoy pidiendo algo difícil, pero espero que con tiempo, lo encontraras en tu corazón para perdonarme.

Yo quisiera nada mas que retirar todo el daño que te cause. Créeme hijo. Si lo puedo, sacrificara parte de mi vida por retirar todo tu dolor. Pues, no lo puedo. Pero sabe esto; siempre te ame. Siempre estaba orgulloso de ti, mi querido nieto, de toda que tu lograste y el hombre en el que te estás convirtiendo. Yo se que tu no crees en los espíritus, pero tan modo, estaría contigo en tu graduación de tu escuela secundario, sintiéndome tan contento y orgulloso de ti.

Manteniente fuere, mantiene tu fe y nunca te caes en tentación pecaminoso como yo me callé. Ve la buena en este mundo, en yo, y en lo que teníamos.

Con todo mi amor,

Tu abuelita

English Translation:

My dearest grandson,

I write this letter at a this moment where I feel I am at a crossroads. For some time, I have felt that death has been steadily creeping at my door, but I have never seriously acknowledged it. Now, as I lie on my bed, waiting for the good Lord to take me, it has forced me to reflect on my entire life.

As you know, I have accomplished a lot of things in my life, things I can proudly say I have no regrets doing. But there are also some things that I regret. Many of them I do not care to reflect much of, as they happened so long ago and as an old, dying woman like me, makes them irrelevant; except for one. This one regret has been eating me up inside for a long time, and while I was able to stubbornly brush it aside, I can no longer do so. With death so close, it has become unbearable and I have no other way of making it right except by writing this letter. My dearest grandson, My most biggest and sorest regret that I have ever done was hurting you my dearest child and pushing you away from my life.

As I lie on my deathbed, I thought about the differences we had. Throughout my life, I cherished my beliefs and I thought they were worth fighting for, even to die for. I now realize, much too late, just how petty, insignificant, irrelevant they really are.

The only thing that should have mattered to me was you. Instead of using the time I had left to be with you, I wasted it by hating and pushing you away. I should have spent these last few years with you, embracing you with all my love as I had done before. But due to my pride and stubbornness, I didn't. As much as I tried, I could never hate you, mi Rodrigito. I never could. I have always loved you and I still do. You were always in my heart. Even when I cast you out of my life, you were always there.

Whenever I called your father, I would always ask him about you, how you are doing at school and what was going on in your life. He told me that you adjusted to your new life in Hillwood well, that you made friends pretty quickly and even got a girlfriend! I'm so happy for you. I congratulate you my dear grandchild. Based on what your father has told me, she seems like a bright and beautiful girl. I wish you many years together.

I can never forgive myself for the amount of pain and hurt I have caused you. I will never forgive myself for having wasted what little time we had on petty differences - because that's what they really are. Although it is too late for me to atone for my sins, it is not too late for you. Therefore, I ask for your forgiveness my child, for all the things that I have done to you. Forgive my anger, my stubbornness, my ignorance and my stupidity.

I am not asking for your forgiveness for my sake, but for yours. Don't make my mistake. Don't hold onto hate. Let it go. Be free. You know how much hate can ruin your sense of being and home. So please, don't let it win. You are only hurting yourself.

I know I'm asking something so difficult, but I hope that with time, you will find it in your heart to forgive me and let it go.

I wish I could go back and undo all the damage I did to you. I really wish. If I could, I would trade a good part of my life to undo it all. But know this; I have always and will always love you. I have always been proud of you, my dearest child, of everything you have accomplished and of the man you are becoming. I know you don't believe in spirits, but I will be with you at your high school graduation, feeling so happy and proud of you.

Remain strong, always have faith and never fall into sinful temptation as I have. See the good in this world, and in me, of what we had.

With all my love,

your grandmamita

Helga patiently waited while Rodrigo read the letter. She didn't even bother to look at him to see his reaction. She just blankly stared straight ahead, sitting perfectly still, not making any sound, as if she was awaiting to hear something beside her. Not even the cold breeze that periodically blew was enough to even get her to shiver. Just then,

*Sniff**sniff*

Helga then heard what seemed to be like someone crying. She turned around to look toward where Rodrigo was sitting. There, beside her, was him, tenderly holding the letter right onto his chest as tears began to flood down from his eyes and to his cheeks.

Neither said anything. Helga continued to sit there and just allowed Rodrigo to let it all out. Rodrigo in turn made no attempt to move and just continued to sit there and cry without restraint. No longer feeling confused, he instead felt his whole body, energy and emotions channelling into one coherent emotional state, of which it became so overwhelming that he could no longer bear it and let it all out.

In his grandmother's letter, he had finally found solace. No longer was he feeling resentment, anger or regret. With his grandmother taking the first step to finally acknowledge the wrong that she did to him and asking for his forgiveness, he not only was able to let go of all the animosities, but was now able to finally mourn the loss of his grandmother. He too realized the folly of their feud. So much precious time lost because he too was too stubborn and proud to reach out to her, a gesture that he never even tried to do. It may seem too late, but it wasn't. There was still time to forgive and that is exactly what Rodrigo did; he forgave her. The tears that were flowing down were not only those of sadness, but of joy as well. He felt...free; as if a huge weight had finally been lifted from his shoulders. But most importantly, he felt he can freely love his grandmother again without shame, anger or any restraint. It was pure, unmitigated, warming love between a grandchild and his grandmother.

Helga still said nothing and continued to look at Rodrigo as he continued to cry with an awkward look. She began to grow uncomfortable in seeing a guy cry. She had been raised in a household to never show any emotions, that it was a sign of weakness and to always 'keep it under the rug'. She had never even seen her own father cry. She has seen Big Bob lament before, but never shed tears. Even with the help and encouragement of Arnold and Dr. Bliss, it was still a strange site to see an almost full blown male adult cry almost uncontrollably. With any other person and situation, she would scoffed at him and told him to suck it up and move on. But, she was not that type of person anymore, nor was Rodrigo just some random person and his situation was not to be considered as something to brush aside.

Despite the tears and him mourning, Helga was happy for him. Unlike her, he had managed to find some measure of peace, calm and reconciliation with one of the most important people in his life, a venture she was still struggling with. Actually, she was bit envious of him and hoped, yes hoped, that one day, she can obtain that.

But right now, she needed to be there for him. With Rodrigo still immersed in his thoughts of his grandmother and continuing to shed tears, Helga then silently crept closer to him until there was almost no space between them. Without saying a word, she then lifted her arm up and wrapped around him and hugged him. Rodrigo felt her arm and realized what she was doing, but still too involved with what he was feeling, made no attempt to move away and just leaned his head onto her shoulder.

Helga remained quiet and just continued to hug him as Rodrigo still continued to cry and even began to reciprocate by hugging her back. The two teens remained there for a while, not moving an inch as the two felt a sense of warmth and closure that neither thought would ever occur. After many months of not seeing each other, Helga hugging Rodrigo brought not only comfort, but the hope that perhaps it was still not too late for them...

Thousands of miles away...somewhere in Latin America...

A large group of people had gathered at the local cemetery. The crowd was of various mixture of young and old people. Family members, friends, relatives and acquaintances had all gathered to pay their final respects to one particular person. It was a beautiful day, with the sun brightly shinning and the exotic birds even chirping. However, for those who had arrived to attend the funeral, there was only sorrow and sadness, as the people came to bid their final farewell to a loving and respected person within their community.

A group of men then came into view, carrying with them the coffin of the recently deceased person. The crowd stood in respectful silence and just watched as the men slowly make their way through. Eventually, they made it to what was to be her final resting place. Upon arriving, the men carefully and slowly lowered the coffin right into the hole that was dug out for her. In front of the crowd was a priest who was reciting quotes from the Bible and asking God to lovingly accept the soul of Belinda Jacqueline Castile into his arms and to forgive her of all her sins.

The coffin was eventual lowered and after a final ceremony, with many people giving their eulogies, the same men picked up their shovels and began to bury her. Inside the coffin was the body of Rodrigo's deceased grandmother, peacefully still. With her were various objects that Belinda cherished and had asked to be buried with them. One of them was an old photo of her and someone else. With her arms crisscrossed, it has been placed on her right hand, close to her heart. The photo showed her walking on all fours, laughing and smiling as she was giving a five year old Rodrigo a piggy back ride.


So just everyone knows, Rodrigo and his parents immigrated to the US when he was very young and due to growing up in a Western, relatively securaly place, grew further apart from his countrys cultural origins, up to a point where he was becoming critical of many certain practices back home. Naturally, his grandmother having been raised all of her life back home was not appreciative of someone so young questioning cultural traditions and behaviours that spanned decades, even centuries and the two began to seriously bicker. This brought on the rest of his extended family which also made the situation worse, up to a point where his extended family and grandmother had enough an ostracized him from their family. Rodrigo's grandfather passed away before any of these got serious.

In my story, 'Helga's Transference' I mentioned that Rodrigo is an athiest, but have since toned down on making any specific cultural references.