Okay, so here it is. The million dollar question. What was it all for? I'm going to try and answer it as best as I can. Just a bit of a warning, I got back to being a bit philosophical.

Responses to reviews:

Veganmama: Yeah, one of Helga's limitations is that she can also be a hypocrite. The TV series demonstrated some scenes where she criticized others for doing something, only to end up doing it herself. There aren't that many, but it's there.

Yeah, Rodrigo not telling her is really confusing her, but he also doesn't want to tell her because he knows it will just crush her. She's already upset with him for ignoring her, even if he isn't doing it on purpose. One can only imagine what will be her reaction if she found out Rodrigo's own little dark secret.


Helga waited patiently in the reception area for her turn to enter Dr. Bliss' office for their weekly appointment. Although, as was often the case, Helga was anything but calm. Her leg kept on fidgeting, her arms were crossed and had the face of being agitated about something. She didn't look angry per se, but she was clearly bothered by something.

I don't get it. She thought as she continued to wait. What was the point of it all? Why go through all of this just to be back where I started?

It was a question that had been plaguing her since school started and thus far, hadn't been able to answer it, at least not to being satisfied.

Maybe the Doc can help me with this. She continued to think. I hope so.

Helga wasn't satisfied with just accepting how things ended. Two of the closest people in her life had been affected and there was no way she was going to just move on without question. As happy as she was with the result, she needed to understand what the reasons were. What justifications are there for the way things ended between her and Rodrigo? Why did she have to go through three years of miserable sadness and hopelessness? What was the point of it? What was the point of risking her friendship with the Latino kid by dating him? Why did Rodrigo, an innocent bystander, have to get hurt by all of this? Was he even innocent in all of this? If she answered at least some of these questions, it would ease the frustration, guilt and pain.

I have to know. She thought. I have to understand this.

Just then, the door that lead to Dr. Bliss' office opened, revealing her and another patient. After her patient thanked her and left, Dr. Bliss grabbed Helga's file and upon seeing her name,

"Please come in, Helga." Dr. Bliss said with soft yet always welcoming tone and smile.

Helga said nothing and just got up and walked right into her office, with the Doc closing the door behind them.

"How have you been this past week?" Dr. Bliss sincerely asked her.

"Well, I wish I could say I've had better days," Helga responded with an exasperated tone, "but I can't since I haven't had one in months, so I guess haven't really been doing good, as always."

"Is it something specific?" Dr. Bliss asked.

"Yes." Helga sighed. "It involves a question."

"Oh?" Dr. Bliss remarked, feeling more curious now. "Would you like to talk about that question today?" She asked as she sat down in her chair.

"Yes! I really would!" Helga then suddenly exclaimed, almost in desperation.

Despite being a bit startled by her sudden exclamation, Dr. Bliss remained calm and proceeded with the session.

"Very well. What question has been bothering you?" She asked.

"It's a question that I need an answer to." Helga began to explain. "It's been plaguing me since school started. I don't think I'll find any peace of mind unless it is satisfactorily answered. I was hoping if you can actually help me out with it."

"Well Helga, I'll try my best." Dr. Bliss said. "But first, I need to know what the question is."

Helga said nothing and just let out a sigh. She then turned around to face the Doc.

"What was it all for?" Helga asked her the question.

"Come again?" Dr. Bliss asked, not really understanding the question.

"What was all of this for?" Helga asked again. "What was the point if it all, you know? What was the point of Arnold breaking up with me? What was the point of me having to endure so much crap during those three years since? What was the point of meeting Rodrigo, becoming friends, dating him, only to break up with him and wind up back with Arnold? I mean jeez, what was the point of it all? Why did we all go around in circles, cause nothing but stupid drama, ended up hurting ourselves, only to wind up back to where we started? Is that clear now?" She retorted back.

Dr. Bliss said nothing and just stared at Helga with a surprised look. She was taken aback by such an overwhelming question that it rendered her mute. It wasn't just a simple question. It required a lot thought and time, which she didn't think could be answered in just one session. And this was assuming she could even answer it.

"Helga, that's a really big question." Was all Dr. Bliss could say. "It's not something that can be answered so quickly."

"We've got one hour to start." Helga said to her.

For the very first time since Helga walked into her office, Dr. Bliss was at a loss of words and did not really know what to say. This was beyond mere psychology. The question went deep into the philosophical inquires and discourse about life itself, with even taking a step into religion. Out of nervousness, she even began to fidget with her hands.

"Helga, I'm not sure this is a question that you should be asking me-" Dr. Bliss began to say,

"Look Doc," before Helga cut her off, "you're the smartest person I know. You have full intimate knowledge about my life, my hopes and dreams, my fears, essentially all of my psychoness. You know me better than anyone. I wouldn't have asking for your help if I didn't think you couldn't help me. I'm not expect you to vomit out the answer. I'm just asking you to help me out. You know, give me that little push in the right direction."

Dr. Bliss remained quiet and just stared at Helga, feeling a little touched that she placed such high confidence in her...maybe a little too much confidence. Nevertheless, Helga did make several good points and she was here to help her. Besides, not wanting to back down from a challenge,

"Okay, let's start." Dr. Bliss finally said, prompting Helga to let out a small smile. "To start, I would like to know what you're thoughts are on this question. What reasons or justifications have you come up with so far?"

"That's the thing, Doc. I don't know!" Helga just frustratingly bellowed out. "I haven't been able to come up with any excuse that would justify it. I have been thinking about it for months, but haven't been able to come up with anything. I don't even know where to start. Was this all planned? Is there some sort of 'higher power' that was pulling all the strings and we are nothing more than mere puppets, destined to live a life that is dictated by someone or something else? Or is the universe just some chaotic randomness where everyone and everything just does what they 'need' to do in order to survive? How much can we be held responsible for our actions? Is it all my fault? Arnold's? Rodrigo's? Am I alone responsible for what I do, including the things that I can't control? Did I really 'choose' Arnold, or was it chosen for me?"

"This isn't my field at all." Helga continued, getting a little hysterical. "I'm an artist, not a philosopher. That is more Rodrigo's area of expertise. But obviously, I can't ask the guy. He's probably grappling with the same question and I wouldn't hold it past him if he hasn't been able to answer this question as well."

Helga then stopped talking for a second to let out a frustrated sigh.

"I feel stuck." She continued with a more sad tone. "I feel like we are all part of this grand narrative and the stupid author was being indecisive on who I should be with."

Dr. Bliss said nothing and for the second time, was at a loss on what to say, let alone comfort Helga. She soon came to realize the full gravity of Helga's dilemma. The question she posed could not be answered even with multiple sessions. It was a question that required many years of deep thought and reflection, sometimes even expanding to a life time before the person has even answered a good chunk of that question.

This isn't going to work. Dr. Bliss thought. I can't help her like this. I need to try something different, a new approach.

"I'm sorry Helga, but I can't help you with this." Dr. Bliss then said to her with a rather serious face and tone, prompting Helga to turn back around with a surprising, but now increasingly disappointed look.

"As your therapist, I am unable to help you answer that question. It's beyond my capabilities." She continued. "But, perhaps I can help you as more of a friendly bystander." She then smiled at her.

Helga got the hint and smiled back.

Dr. Bliss realized that the usual therapist/patient relationship was not going to work in this situation. In order to achieve their goal, she needed to change the dynamics of their relationship, which meant that she needed to cease being her therapist and be more, not as a friend, but be someone whom Helga can have a more equal dialogue with. This in itself, was not only a foreign concept in the field of psychotherapy, but also even risky. It could jeopardize the years of trust and progress she had made with Helga.

"I must tell you though, Helga," Dr. Bliss then continued to speak, now with a more warning tone, "that there are risks on doing this. You and I have worked hard on helping you gain my trust so I could help you with your struggles. This is not even mentioning the progress you have made since you started seeing me. I do not wish undo everything we have accomplished over the years. I will only do this on the condition that once I help you with this question, we revert back to our former relationship. Agreed?"

"Yes." Helga instantly replied. "Thanks, Doc."

"Alright." The Doc said as she re-positioned herself a bit, getting more comfortable and loosening up a bit. "You are right to view your question as a more philosophical inquiry. But, I am not ignorant of the subject. I actually took a few lectures on philosophy during my college years and after, so I do come somewhat equipped with the many terms, definitions and sharp, rationalistic logic that we will have to traverse through. I am hoping that with what I know, I can help enlighten you on your predicament."

"Please," Helga then groaned, quickly regretting on asking her for her help, "not another philosophical lecture. I already had to endure a lot of that from Latino boy and I do not wish to go through one again."

"No, no, this isn't going to be a lecture." Dr. Bliss just casually chuckled a bit. "This is more of my personal opinion of what I think of your situation." She assured her.

"Oh. That'll do." Helga said, regaining her desire to go through with this.

"Alright so," Dr. Bliss began, "this world or universe can be one of two things. It can either by highly structured and organized, whereby everything is predetermined and destined to happen. Or, on the other spectrum, there is the idea that the universe is not structured or controlled by anything or anyone and thereby, everything is contingent or accidental. Regardless how one might see the universe, I think it's irrelevant."

"Come again?" Helga asked, looking confused. "How is it not relevant?"

"Because however way the universe maybe structured," Dr. Bliss continued, "you would still have to grapple with that very question, 'what was it all for?'. If everything had a purpose and was already predetermined, you being with Arnold was destined to happen as the primary example, just accepting the outcome wouldn't be enough. You wanting to know just how it came about wouldn't be a question 'outside' of the universe. That question you are curious about and seeking to answer would naturally, or determinantly, be part of the whole process, not something outside of it. It's just like watching a movie, but instead of watching it from the beginning to end, you only watched the end. You with me so far?"

"I guess." Helga replied.

"Good." Dr. Bliss continued. "And if the universe was not preordained, and everything that happens is random, with no purpose, you would still be curious, probably even more, to know just how you ended up being at the place where you now find yourself. So regardless, you would still want to know how you got here. And moreover to know the mechanisms, by that I mean all external social and biological influence, the decisions, the choices that led you to where you are now; you will be in a better position to predict where you will end up in the future. You may not get it right every time, but at least you will have a good idea. Either way, accepting things, especially if they come externally, is not sufficient. You and everyone else would feel that there has to be more than that, wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes." Helga answered her.

"So in essence, I think it's irrelevant whether the universe is predetermined or not." Dr. Bliss continued. "We can't say for sure if it's either/or. I think we are too...limited to really grasp it. All we do know is that we feel its effects and we want to know just what those effects were that pushed us to where we are now so that we can have a good idea of where we will end up in the future. You with me so far?" She asked.

"So far." Helga replied.

"Good." The Doc said. "I wanted to get this part out of the way. Most of the questions that you mentioned a moment ago revolved around this very problem; whether you were really in control of your decisions and choices or not."

"So now that we got that part out of the way, let me ask you this." Dr. Bliss continued as she leaned against her chair a bit. "Do you feel that this second relationship or second chance with Arnold is different than your first relationship with him?"

Helga thought about it for a second, but then quickly said, "It's different."

"How so?" The Doc asked.

"It's hard to explain." Helga began to explain, "it doesn't help I only just got back together with him for only two weeks before he left again. But...I feel…"

Dr. Bliss remained quiet and just patiently waited for her to gather her thoughts and straighten them out.

"It feels more...natural I guess?" Helga then finally began to speak again. "When I finally got back together with him, I felt...extremely relieved and happy. All the tension and frustration that I used to have, I was finally able to let them go."

"Do you still feel that strong attraction towards him?" Dr. Bliss asked.

"A bit." Helga responded, although not sounding so certain. "I mean, I think about him often. Just not as obsessive as I used to be. It's more like I just really miss him and I want him here."

Helga then stopped talking for a few seconds and thought of something.

"Actually," she then spoke again, "what I have been really feeling is...disappointment."

"Disappointment?" Dr. Bliss curiously asked. "How so?"

"You know I have always put that football head up on a pedestal." Helga said. "Even in the years following the sixth grade, despite seeing Arnold as more of a flawed person who can make mistakes and is really just an average kid, I still wasn't able to completely knock him down."

"Did you ever manage to knock him down?" Dr. Bliss asked.

"Yes." Helga responded with an almost angry tone. "When he tried to get back together with me this year. That was when I tore that pedestal right from under him."

"Can you explain more on that?" Dr. Bliss just calmly asked.

"For me," Helga continued while trying calm herself down, "I had to always struggle with the reality that despite how I viewed him, Arnold is nothing more than a simple guy trying to find his way through life. During the years when we were first together, I had to constantly remind myself of that by pointing his flaws or whatever mistakes he would make. He did make mistakes, he was sometimes wrong. And although I slowly began to view him in a more realistic light, I still held him in such a delusional regard."

"It became worse when he broke up with me right after the eighth grade," She continued to talk, "During the time when I was s-s-s-...sssss..ssiiin-sin…"

"Single?" Dr. Bliss finished her sentence for her.

"Yes, single!" Helga frustratingly exclaimed. "I ended up putting him to an almost mystical status for almost three years. He was all I ever thought about. I did nothing else but think about him, our time together and when he was going to come back. Not if, but when. Even if he made it clear to me that the break up was permanent and he was not coming back to Hillwood, I still clanged onto the crazy hope that maybe, just maybe he would one day come back. And he did! By all counts contrary to logic and science, he actually came back! And that's when I finally broke the camel's back."

"How so?" Dr. Bliss just calmly asked despite feeling Helga's tense tone and facial expression.

"As the days and years went by," Helga continued to tell her story, "I slowly started to lose hope. I began to wonder if I was crazy to ever believe he would come back. After two years of 'waiting', I was debating with myself if I should just finally put him behind me and move on. Yet, I couldn't let go of him. I wasn't ready to accept it. For two years, I did nothing but think about him. I did no other activities other than mope around in my room, which I rarely left. I rarely hanged out with my friends and whenever I did, I was pretty much forced to. I didn't sign up for any extracurricular activities, I found no interest in any topic, from politics, to the arts, nothing interested me."

"I take then, when you met Rodrigo and began to like him, that was what finally pushed you to move on?" Dr. Bliss asked.

"Yes." Helga just sighed. "I realized that being with Rodrigo was my ticket out of this crappy, just plain sad, depressing hole I was in. It wasn't just that I liked him; he was a way out and towards something new and exciting. I felt that, if I took my chance with him, I could not only start over, but enjoy myself, life itself!"

"And I'm confident that I would have had he," Helga continued as she then began to grow increasingly angry, even beginning to grind her teeth, "not come back."

There was a slight pause, but Dr. Bliss said nothing and just calmly waited for Helga to continue, thinking that perhaps she needed time to calm down.

"When he asked to get back together with me back in March, it completely stunned me. When he said those words," Despite her anger, Helga couldn't help but let out a small, but happy smile, "it made my heart swelled with so much joy and relief. But…"

"But…?" Dr. Bliss then repeated that last word.

"But, there was no way I was going to get back together with him." Helga then said with an angry snarl. "After what he did to me, and what I went through, and for him to just crawl back like that, right when I finally decided to move on, to live my life, there was no way on this planet or in any universe that I was ever, EVER going to fall on my knees and happily cry to Arnold a big 'thank you' for reconsidering, for taking me back!"

"You sound highly angry at Arnold after waiting for more than two years." Dr. Bliss commented. "I would even say that you are resentful that he even asked you to take him back. Are you?"

"YES!" Helga angrily yelled out her answer. "He asked me to get back together with me, knowing that I had already told Rodrigo about my feelings for him and I was just waiting for his response. Okay, he didn't give me a 'yes' during that waiting period, so I was still technically single, but he knew! Arnold knew that I liked him and I made no indication that I was going to crawl back to him! I'll admit, Rodrigo did make things really confusing for him when he told him to get back together with me. But, he should have asked me about it first! Or at least attempt to find out what was going on. Instead, he just plunged himself into the water and made it so much more complicating by actually taking Latino boy's advice! Instead of taking a stupid deep breath and looking to see how he could have helped me, he made it worse by selfishly putting his feelings first before my own and asked to get back together!"

"That's why I refused to get together with him back in March!" Helga then blurted it out. "I was angry on seeing that side of him; this self-centered, conniving, manipulative, indecisive person who couldn't make up his mind on where to go or who to be with!"

"I'm sorry?" Dr. Bliss asked, looking surprised and confused. "Are you saying that you got together with Rodrigo just to spite Arnold?"

"Hmm...not really." Helga calmed down a bit to respond to that question. "Well, sort of. I liked Rodrigo, of that I'm sure and I did want to start a relationship with him. But it wasn't all just about that. I wanted to prove to Arnold and to myself that I was capable of moving on, away from his clutches, of his burdening shadow that continuously hovered over me nearly all of my life. I wanted to show him, right in his face, that I was not only capable of being happy without him, but that he was too late if he ever had any hopes of getting back together with me."

"He made it clear to me on that fateful summer that he was ending things with me permanently and I should move on. Well, I did!" Helga continued to shout her confession. "Especially after his little, egotistical stunt that nearly ruined my relationship with Rodrigo, there was no way I was going to crawl back to his lap and happily take him back, as much as I wanted to. I am not some coat that he can just take off and hang until he is ready for wear it again. I am Helga G. Pataki! I'm better than that!"

"And do you know what the worst part of all this was?" Helga then rhetorically asked the Doc, regaining her previous angry momentum to which the therapist just silently shook her head.

"I initially thought Arnold just randomly asked to get back together with me. It came out of nowhere. Not once in his letters did he ever make any indication that he was even remotely interested. So, I just thought that when he visited us back in March, I don't know, something must have clicked inside his stupid football head and he somehow just fell in love with me again."

"Did he?" Dr. Bliss, with some suspense in her voice, asked her.

"NO!" Helga very frustratingly yelled her answer again. "He confessed just this past summer that he had been thinking about getting back together with me for over a year! And when he did finally 'made up his mind', it was months before his March visit! For months, he wanted to get back together with me, but he didn't say anything in his letters! In his typically stupid, yet romantic way, he wanted to talk to me about it in person and 'surprise me'!" She continued to yell as she angrily pulled her hair.

"Crimeny, out of all the stupid, imbecilic, twisted, gut wrenching, abhorred twist of fate, he very stupidly and selfishly put himself first, his needs, his desire, before me! Not to mention just how low he thinks of me." She continued.

"How is that?" Dr. Bliss asked, trying to remain calm, for both their sake. "Him thinking low of you?"

"He actually thought I would wait for him!" Helga angrily continued to let out all of her frustration in her session. "Yes it's true, I was waiting for him, but he didn't know that! He just ASSUMED I was waiting for him, as if I was never capable of ever escaping his clutches, his shadow. He never had any faith in me. Just who the hell did he think he is?!"

"And to put the cherry on top, HE DID COME BACK FOR ME THIS PAST SUMMER!" Helga screamed at the top of her lungs. "Despite how many times he said otherwise and how many times he tried to keep his distance, when push came to shove, that scrawny, paste for brains football head caved in! He just couldn't say no and ended up kissing me on the same balcony when I first confessed my feelings for me seven years ago! The second he realized Rodrigo ended things with me, he just couldn't keep his little fingers away and just had to dive right into the cookie jar!"

"And that's what finally made open my eyes!" Helga continued with her rant. "His selfish behaviour throughout this whole year is what finally made me push away all of those delusional, romantic thoughts of him and see Arnold Shortman for who he really is! Nothing more than an average joe who is most certainly not immune to taking full advantage of things! A great, sweet guy, but a flawed one!"

Helga had to stop in order catch her breath, but it was clear to Dr. Bliss that this was something that had been swerving inside her for some time. Moreover, this was something profound that Helga had just stumbled on and what looked to be, quite possible, the final piece of the puzzle.

"You sound...disappointed." Dr. Bliss then commented.

"Oh, you bet your sweet toot I am!" She angrily retorted. "With the way he behaved this whole year, who wouldn't be?! I had high expectation for this kid. I never in my life would have imagined he would ever stoop that low and be so self-centered. I expected it from everyone else, including Rodrigo, but not from him! What he did just only demonstrated to me that he is nowhere near better as everyone else. He just like like them!"

"And yet, you still love him." Dr. Bliss then calmly remarked, prompting Helga immediately let go of all of her angry, resentment and frustration and just let out a defeated sigh.

"Yes, I still do." She softly sighed.

"I did not mean that as something negative." Dr. Bliss then clarified herself when she noticed how Helga took her remark. "Quite the contrary. It seems that your love for him has soundly matured."

"How?" Helga asked her.

"Well, you tell me." Dr. Bliss countered. "From the way you sound, it seems that are you more angry at Arnold revealing himself to you as nothing more than an average person, capable of making grand, life-altering, you can perhaps say selfish, decisions and mistakes."

Helga took a moment to quickly reflect on what Dr. Bliss had just said.

"Yeah." She admitted.

"Tell me, how have you been doing during the months since he went back to San Lorenzo?" Dr. Bliss asked her.

"Specifically what?" Helga asked.

"Specifically on how you have been coping with his absence." Dr. Bliss calmly responded. "Are you missing him as much as you did during the years when you were single? Has your inspiration returned?"

"I miss him, a lot," Helga almost shyly confessed, "but not as much as I did when I was...you know…that." She awkwardly pointed out to her former status. "It's been tolerable, surprisingly. I thought I was going to wind up back to my old depressing hole when he left. But, I haven't. I mean, there are days when I really do feel his absence, but it's been mostly okay."

"And your writing?" Dr. Bliss asked. "Is he still an inspiration?"

"He is," Helga responded, "but not as much as he was before. I get inspiration in different areas, situations or anything that comes my way as well. Actually, I can even go so far as to say that most of my poems or stories that I have written since September haven't really been about him or us."

"And your fantasies of him?" Dr. Bliss asked.

"Umm…" Helga thought about it. "It comes and goes. It's not as strong or intense as it was before. But I can mostly go about my day without having to think about Arnold every second of my life. There have even been days when I don't fantasize about him, or even think about him at all. Actually, after everything that I have been through this year, and that I have to wait at least a year before I see him again, I try not think about him. I just need a break from him."

Dr. Bliss said nothing and just stared at Helga with a surprising look on her face. Out of all the years she had known her, she never once said that she needed a break from him. Sure, she had consistently complained about her obsession with him and how annoying it is, but never stating that she, SHE, wanted to be away from him, even if it's only momentary.

"Well Helga, if I may say, this is all very reassuring." The Doc then said with an optimistic tone. "From what you have told me, it would seem that you made a breakthrough."

"Whoa whoa, let's not get ahead of ourselves." Helga then countered. "But just to humor me...really?" She then asked her with a curious look in her eye.

"Well, yes." Dr. Bliss answered her with a confident tone. "It may be a bit early to draw a conclusion from this, but given what you have told me since August, especially today, I am a bit confident to say that I may know the answer to your question, 'what was it all for?' Would you like to hear it?"

"Yes, please!" Helga eagerly exclaimed as she then quickly sat down on the patient's couch.

Dr. Bliss cleared her throat before she began.

"Alright." She began. "To start with, I do want to say that I do believe that had it not been for the, let's just say, extreme circumstances and coincidences of this past summer, you would have moved on with Rodrigo. Like your feelings for Arnold, I have no doubt that your feelings for Rodrigo were indeed genuine."

"And it wasn't just the amount of times you talked about him." She continued.

"Talked about him?" Helga than interjected, looking a bit confused. "I don't recall ever bringing him up unless you mentioned him."

"Actually," Dr. Bliss then began to correct her, "Based on my notes, you've brought him up a number of times without me saying anything. At first, you talked about him more as a curiosity than anything else. But slowly, you began to explain how annoyingly patient and understanding he was. Then you began to talk in detail about some of your issues and arguments with him. As time went on, you spoke more and more of him."

"Ah. I see." Helga then said, admitting defeat. "And what evidence did I bring out that made you think that I would have moved on with him?"

"Well, there was the time you replaced some of the pictures of Arnold for Rodrigo, as well as your attempt in throwing away some your souvenirs of Arnold, among others." Dr. Bliss responded. "But the biggest evidence was your complete change in behaviour and outlook in life."

"Explain." Helga said to her.

"During the time when were dating Rodrigo," Dr. Bliss explained, "you came here looking more energetic and just plain happy. Even the times when you came here looking upset or annoyed about something, I did not need to really say anything to lift your spirits up as before. You did that all on your own, looking at the bright side of things."

"Hm. Didn't think I was that happy." Helga said as she thought about it. "But I'll take your word for it."

"Granted, I think it would have taken you some time, but I do feel you would have moved on from him." Dr. Bliss then said.

"Do you think I would have ever been able to be friends with Arnold?" Helga asked.

"During this initial process, no." Dr. Bliss bluntly responded. "If you want me to be even more blunt, given how extreme and passionate you are of him, I don't think it would have been wise of you to have any relationship with him, no matter how cordial or platonic. At the very least, not for some years."

"And, I think that was the whole point." The Doc continued.

"Come again?" Helga asked, again looking a bit confused.

"I think the point of you dating Rodrigo was for you to move away from your obsession of Arnold and see him under a more realistic light." Dr. Bliss clarified. "Based on how things came about, I don't think you were ever meant to be with Rodrigo. Yes, I have the benefit of hindsight, but considering how both he and you understood the deep and loving connection you and Arnold have for each other, with the fact that Rodrigo realized that Arnold never really got over you, for him at least, it was a no brainy to see who you should really be with."

"But how do you really know that?" Helga asked. "How can you know that was the reason?"

"Because you chose Arnold." Dr. Bliss bluntly stated. "Even though Rodrigo was the one that ended things, based on what you told me, you didn't put up much of a resistance because deep down, as much as you didn't want to admit it, you still wanted to be with Arnold, more so than with Rodrigo. And you never looked back. We can spend all day and dive down into your intricate subconscious and see just what structural web allowed your frame of mind to still be tied with Arnold, but the end result will be same. You can come out with a greater understanding of yourself, but it wouldn't have changed things, and quite frankly, I don't think you would have wanted things to change it. So, I see no point in going that deep. You love Arnold and want to be with him, plain and simple."

"I...guess." Helga responded with some hesitation, not wanting to completely agree with what Dr. Bliss said, but couldn't really see a way around it. "But, what about Rodrigo?" She then asked. "If what you said is true, that would mean I essentially used him, which is not true. I had no idea Arnold was coming to visit Hillwood last summer and I most certainly would have never used him just so I can end up back with Arnold. I'm...not like that anymore."

"You're right. You are not like that anymore." Dr. Bliss reassured her with a smile. "And you didn't use him. This is also a learning curve for Rodrigo. This was his first relationship and despite how rationalistic he claims to be, he is also not immune to the sways of the passions, especially love. You mentioned to me how angry he was at you during the summer, so much so that he intentionally avoided you, even when you attempted to reignite you relationship, he pushed you away, even at one point accused you of being unfaithful."

"That was just in the heat of the moment." Helga protested. "I mean c'mon, give the poor guy a break. I didn't physically cheat on him, but I was not being emotionally faithful to him. That would have driven anyone up the walls!"

"Yes, that's true." Dr. Bliss agreed. "But, do you think Arnold, or anyone else would have acted the same way? As painful as it must have been for him, he should have attempted to do something to reinvigorate your feelings for him instead of taking it out on you, even if the blame is placed on you. I'm not saying that he didn't deserve you. I'm just saying that this was a learning curve for him and something that he will take into account in his next relationship."

"Next relationship?" Helga asked, those two words causing her to tense up a bit.

"Well yes." Dr. Bliss said, noticing her tensing up a bit but it was too late to turn back. "With him being single now, I would assume that once he gets over you, it is inevitable for him to find someone else. Have you thought about possibility?" She asked her.

"Um...not really." Helga shyly confessed. 'I mean, I know it's inevitable, but I haven't really considered the fact that he will find...someone else." But she then frowned at that very thought.

"I would like to get back to that." Dr. Bliss said. "But first, let's finish off with your original question. So, I think this is what all of this meant; for you to take a step back and view Arnold from a less biased and, shall we say, less passionate point of view. I think that was the reason why Rodrigo came at the time that he did. Do you think it was really a mere coincidence that he came into your life just last year?"

"I've had my suspicions." Helga confessed.

"I can go even further." Dr. Bliss then added. "I think Rodrigo's arrival made this a self fulfilling prophecy. Based on what you told me, wasn't it he that finally pushed Arnold to conquer his fears and make more of an effort to come and visit everyone for fear of losing his friends and you to him?"

"Yeah." Helga acknowledged.

"Do you think Arnold would have taken that step himself?" She asked her.

"I...don't know." Helga replied. "At the very least he would have visited us back in March. But...I'm not sure if his feelings for me would have resurfaced. For some strange reason, he said he started thinking about me again right around the time when Rodrigo came into the picture. If all of this is no coincidence, then Rodrigo arriving in Hillwood a year and a half ago must have, I don't know, triggered something in Arnold. Like some sort of sixth sense or quantum entanglement or sensing that he was on the verge of really losing me. Is that even possible?"

"It could be." Dr. Bliss just shrugged her shoulders.

Helga was left completely stunned by this revelation that she left her jaw hang wide open, unable to say anything, let alone wrap her head around it.

"So, he and I never had a chance." Helga finally let something out but looking increasingly sad. "Rodrigo and I."

"If we follow the logic of this train of thought, it would seem not." Dr. Bliss said. "I'm sorry, Helga."

"What about our friendship?" Helga then asked. "Is that salvageable?"

"That still remains to be seen." Dr. Bliss said, trying to sound optimistic. "There is hope that you two can mend things. But I'm afraid it will be up to both you and him."

"More him and me." Helga remarked.

"It's true that Rodrigo will most likely have the final say, but that doesn't mean that you will be merely reacting." Dr. Bliss countered. "You also have your own part to play and your moves will help determine if whether or not he will be able to be friends with you."

"I guess." Was all Helga said, not sounding so convinced.

"Which brings me to our second topic." Dr. Bliss then said. "But, before we go there, was I able to answer your first question, 'what was it all for'?" She asked.

"You did." Helga responded. "You gave me somethings that I haven't initially considered. I'm not sure if I feel any better, but it does make things more clear. Thanks."

"You're welcome." Dr. Bliss said with a pleasant smile. "As I said before, this was a predetermined conclusion that I drew up and I may have overlooked a few things. With your new outlook on Arnold, while I'm fairly comfortable to say that you seemed to making a breakthrough, it is still a bit premature."

It's not premature. Helga thought.

"So, we will see how the rest of these months play out." Dr. Bliss continued. "Now, to the second topic. What do you think your reaction will be if you see Rodrigo with someone else in the near future?"

Helga said nothing and took her time to think about it, but as she did so, the very thought of Rodrigo being interested in someone else romantically, was striking a nerve.

"I don't like it." She confessed. "It's very selfish of me to think this way, but I don't want him to find someone else."

"Do you still having feelings for him?" Dr. Bliss asked, trying to look professional and calm, but inside she was surprised by that statement.

"I'm not sure." Helga confessed. "I don't really know what I feel for the guy right now. If I still like him, it pales to how I felt about him some months ago, but something is still there. All I know is that I still want him to be around. I don't want to forget about him, or him forget about me."

"Do you think he will forget about you if he finds someone else?" Dr. Bliss asked.

"I think he'll be too busy with his new broad to waste any time with me." Helga coldly replied.

"Do you feel you will be abandoned?" Dr. Bliss asked.

"Yes." The blonde teen replied. "Even though I know this is inevitable and I do want him to be happy, I can't say I'll be happy if I ever see him holding hands with someone else."

"Will you be jealous?" Dr. Bliss asked.

"Isn't that obvious?" Helga rhetorically asked.

"It is." Dr. Bliss agreed. "So let me ask you this; what exactly will you be jealous about? The fact that he now has romantic feelings for someone else and not you, or that if he started dating someone, he would have less time to hang out with you, let alone think about you, even as a friend."

Helga was about give her answer, but stopped short when she realized that the question did not entail a straight forward response. She closed her mouth and thought about it.

"Aren't they the same?" Helga asked.

"Not quite." Dr. Bliss said. "They are similar, but not the same."

"I...'ll have to get back to you on that." Helga then said. "I'm not really sure how I would feel. The simple answer would be 'yes'. But, it's something that I know I'll have to think about."

"Not to worry." Dr. Bliss calmly reassured her. "You can think about this question throughout the week and we'll try to answer it in our session."

Some time later…

Helga walked down the street of the neighbourhood after her therapy session ended and headed home. However, she wasn't focused on that, less looking forward to it. No. She was in deep thought about

what Dr. Bliss said to her and...she felt conflicted.

On the one hand, she felt much more reassured with the belief that she was indeed meant to be with Arnold. At the very least, she felt a bit relieved that she didn't spend her entire life wishing, dreaming, fantasizing, hurting, obsessing over him, all for no reason at all. Based on her conversation with Dr. Bliss, Helga felt reinvigorated in the notion that there was indeed something to everything that happened between her and Arnold. Underneath the drama, the stress, frustration, the pain and longing, there was a life long lesson to be learned and for Helga, she felt that in the years since that fateful summer after the fifth grade, she had really grown up and matured. As for her relationship, she felt it had also now matured. It didn't feel the same as it was was before. It felt...less intense. And having Arnold in her arms again was indeed a dream come true and now, she felt more confident in their future together, not only enduring as a loving couple, but thrive, all the way to old age.

But on the other hand...She thought. At what cost?

By this point, Helga had pretty much given up the notion that she was ever strong enough to curtail her intense feelings for Arnold. Although, she wasn't about to admit that to anyone. Much to her chagrin, she needed help and after thinking about it, perhaps Rodrigo coming into her life in the way that he did was the type of help that she needed. Although, that didn't make her feel any better. She still felt that if that was the case, she had essentially used him, took advantage of his feelings for her just so she can grow up and allow her feelings for Arnold to mature, at his expense. Even though she knew deep down that wasn't her intention at all, it still rattled her conscious.

Huh, I guess I did grow up. She thought with a bit of amusement. I actually care about his feelings. Man, good thing he didn't meet me back in elementary school. Ha! What a ride I would have given him.

Apart from the battle in her growing conscious, there was still the question that Dr. Bliss posed for her and she still wasn't sure how she felt about it.

Well, that wasn't necessarily true. She knew she would be jealous, even resentful if Rodrigo ever dated someone, but she wasn't sure from what perspective she would be jealous about; the fact that he would have feelings for someone else, or that he would have no time to remain friends with her. Why would he, when he found someone else to occupy his mind, his heart and his *whistle*? Someone...better?

C'mon Helga, get it to together! Helga thought. It's inevitable! Latino boy is bound to find someone, once he gets out of his depressing little hole, that is. I mean, how could he not? He's smart, sweet, good looking. Seriously, how did I even end up with him?

That last thought didn't sit well with Helga and it caused her to frown as her defense mechanism began to act up.

Pft! Please! She scoffed in thouht. He should be grateful for ever getting the chance to date me. And what's the deal with his mopiness? Okay sure, based on what Phoebe said, he's seems to be doing much better, but every time I manage to get a glance at him when he's walking down the hallway, he still seems pretty beat down. What gives? Why is he still acting all mopey and sad about this? C'mon! It's getting old.

I know I should be a little more understanding, but this getting ridiculous! There's almost no comparison. He only dated me for a few months and he doesn't love me. I fantasized about being Arnold my whole life and when I did, we dated for about three years. Of course I was devastated when he broke up with me. Who wouldn't be? So, why is he taking this break up so bad, especially since he was the one who ended it?!

Her inability to understand why Rodrigo was taking their break up so hard only served to cause her more frustration and anger.

Am I missing something here?! She continued to think. Is there something that I don't know about? If so, then what? It's December now and he is still avoiding me like the plague. What gives?! I know he is hurting and I have been very patient, but I'm really on my last thread here. Maybe what he just needs is a good old 'friendly' but forceful push to get him out of his sappy state. The cry baby. C'mon, someone has to! If he won't do it, then maybe I should.

Helga then realized that she was going off topic and just settled to think about her dilemma.

Anyway, that's for another time. She thought to think. Dr. Bliss was right. I have to get ready for it. Rodrigo will sooner or later move on and find...someone else.

Helga had to literally swallow hard when she thought that last thought, but nevertheless carried on.

And I just have to get used to it. She continued to think. Sooner or later he'll move on and he'll...forget about me. Just as I forgot about him, right? Pfft! Please. Don't kid yourself there. You haven't forgotten him, just admit it. And you most certainly will not forget him anytime soon.

But, why does it bother me? So what if he finds someone else? I should be happy for him, not be suspicious or even resentful. Do I still like the guy? What do I want from the guy? His friendship? His love? Or just his attention? I...don't know.

"Ugh!" Helga just growled as she kicked a can that was on the floor and let it fly all the way onto the street.

"Crimeny, so what if he forgets about me?" Helga began to talk to herself as she continued to walk home. "Who cares?! He's only one guy who should no longer be important to me. I have Arnold now and that's all that matters. That's all that should matter to me! So why do I care so much if he just...leaves?! Ugh!"

Helga initially let out a frustrated growled, but then resigned herself and then let out a sad sigh.

"Oh Arnold." She sadly sighed as she looked up into the increasingly darkening sky. "I wish you were here. This would be much more...tolerable. But nnoooo. You just had to leave again and leave me here to deal with this mess, alone. Typical."

After taking a moment to look up into the evening sky, Helga adjusted her coat and continued her walk home.

Well regardless. She began to think again. If there's one good thing that is coming out from Rodrigo's mopiness, it's that he is still not ready to fully move on, which gives me some more time to get my emotions straighten out. At least I don't have to worry about this anytime soon.