Chapter 19 / Motive
December 6th, 2011 / Morning
Kayane's Home
I woke up with my muscles soundly in protest to the amount of exercise I had gotten since I had woken up from my coma like state. Well I say coma like state only because of my inability to well...do anything. In reality I was chained down from within my soul space. Well soul space seemed like an appropriate term. And from within that place I had the help of an individual in a white mask and his assistant. It was only because of their help that I was able to get free. His assistant was...Fujikara Miyuki.
Slowly I opened my eyes and sat up from my bed. I looked over to a picture on my desk. An old photograph of Miyuki, her Mother and myself on one of the nights we had gone out to dinner. It had been something we did when my Uncle and Miyuki's Father were gone for work. It was a rare occurrence but...it was some of the best memories I had. At least when it came to my childhood. Mom had tried to capture that time with me, again and again. But I never responded well to those nights...instead I would simply be reminded of Miyuki...even Mom was as well. So we had stopped going out to eat at all and instead opted for a much more normal yet somewhat foreign way of having dinner. Just at the house. While I rarely responded to anything as a child growing up...there was something peaceful and comforting about it just being the two of us quietly eating dinner. If anything...those had been the moments that my Mother and I really started to understand each other.
Moving to the side of my bed I stretched as I got to my feet and moved to the window. I had been so close to death, just moments away. And Miyuki...the one I had met within the Velvet Room had said that the actions of my friends had almost made it impossible for me to come back. I knew what she meant...if they had killed Namatame then my own fate would have been the same. And that thought did not sit well with me. But I did have faith in my friends, I don't think there would have been any way for them to go through with it...not with Yu there.
I understood the temptation that the situation had brought about better than most. Someone you loved was dead, and you knew who the killer was...and they were going to get away with it because of lack of evidence. Then you had the opportunity...and the method to get away with a perfect crime...get away with revenge for the death of a loved one. Emotions escalated...and a hard consideration was made. But it was the small nagging doubt in their minds that made them pause...made them take a moment to think and run a different scenario. Only one moment to stop an act you could never take back.
Namatame was not a killer. Not one of the victims he had taken had died. Luckily for him. To be fair he still could be charged with kidnapping, assault and a few other things. He thought he was doing the right thing...so after we had talked to him, I wasn't sure that any of us would pursue charges against him. But there was still some details that I wanted to know. But with Adachi retreating into the TV world it would probably have to wait.
A lot of things had been waiting in the time I had been on that hospital bed. And I had learned quite a bit from my Mom after talking to her last night after Rise had finally gone home. Well I had walked her home. Still Rise had taken my hospitalization immensely hard. She spent all her free time at the hospital. If she wasn't allowed in the room with me then she stayed as close as she could to it. She would leave school the moment the last bell rang...and from what I had heard she was far behind on her homework. She had even skipped school a number of days when I was still somewhat active. I was too out of it...I had no sense of time ...all those days blended together and I only distinctly remember certain moments. But why had it happened? Philemon had said that my fate had been changed by an external source...and that was why he had given me a way to change it. He had given me the method...but it was my own desire to come back that made me move. If I hadn't become such good friends with most of the Investigation Team...then I might have stayed there.
I had a way to move forward because of Philemon and Miyuki. Even in death she still protects me. But at the end she urged me forward...told me to allow myself to love again...to live. And that she was expecting a full detailed report of my life when it was finally time for me to move on. To do that...it meant putting an end to things and finally capturing the person responsible for putting things into motion. That meant that we just needed to catch Adachi...but the threat of whatever had trapped me and nearly killed me also existed...but one thing at a time.
I quickly changed into my school uniform and went out to the dinning area where I was greeted by my Mother...and Rise. Honestly, I shouldn't be surprised at this but seeing her smile at me as she turned to me made my heart beat faster. Her ability to affect my was something no one else could come close to doing.
"Good Morning Kay-chan," Mom smiled as she was stacking waffles onto the table.
"Morning Kayane," Rise greeted me cheerfully, but it sounded a bit forced. I could remember hearing Rise arguing with someone when I was in the hospital...after some inquiries with my Mom I found out that Rise's own Mother had shown up to try and convince Rise to give it up and that she needed to return as an idol. My Mother said she had dealt with it...but I hadn't asked why...though I feel a strong need to do so now after looking at the news on the internet. Specifically...the mass amount of rumors about Rise and I. Though apparently that had died down a bit as of late...in particular due to my absence.
I sat down next to Rise and took a couple waffles onto the empty plate in front of me, "So maybe its too early for this conversation but...are we just going to let the rumors go unchecked that are about us?"
"Rumors?" Rise's tone of voice immediately told me that she had no idea. I wasn't that surprised, I hadn't dug too deeply into it either as I had only half curiously browsed the internet last night before going to bed.
"It's fine," Mom said with a comforting tone and sat at the table across from us. "The most prevalent of the rumors is that Kay-chan was in a horrible accident and that they used it to assume the two of you were dating. Which is true but they have no way of confirming it."
I reached for the butter and began putting it on my waffles, "Well yeah, now it's true. I guess the order of events don't really matter to the media or public. What matters is what we want them to believe."
"You could argue either way would be of benefit to you, but I think what is most important is why you are doing this. Is being successful important to you?" Mom asked the two of us. I could see it, she was looking at the situation from how we would want to set up or public relations in the eye of the media. She was right too...we could gain or lose fans depending on how we went about it. Man, we weren't even officially a duet until after the negotiations occurred...but being able to deal with things as they were right now was also important.
Rise hung her head, "I get it...I'd probably lose fans if people knew we were an item. It's stupid."
"Yes well...I'd also not like to have people think they still have a shot at you when I am your boyfriend," I said it so easily and so naturally that it took me a moment to register the words I had just let out of my mouth.
Rise just looked at me with the biggest smile on her face.
Mom actually giggled at this, "If that is the case then I see no harm in letting the fans speculate on it without clarifying your relationship. And we'll continue on as plannstart recording yet so for now we will just let things steed. I've already made arrangements with Takura Productions. I told them that you still haven't gotten the okay from your doctor so for now we'll just leave things as they are. We'll likely have a meeting with the producers and such in a month or so. For now you just need to recover and catch up on your school work."
Man, was that ever the truth. Being a senior and being out for a month sure didn't help things. I shook my head, "Alright...at the moment it leaves the relationship ambiguous. Not saying it either way well probably keep the rumor mill going for a while too. Some have written it off as a strictly working relationship...but reports have been made of Rise skipping school to see me...so many take that as indication of something more."
Rise was looking down at the table again,"I...uh...I may have made this harder...I wasn't that careful with who I was seen by. I just...I didn't care...I just had to be with you...if you woke up and I wasn't there then..."
"My dear, Kay-chan isn't accusing you of anything you know," My Mom couldn't stop from smiling and I couldn't help it either.
"However...I did hear something about someones grades slipping," I said as she really looked away from me now.
"I may have let a assignment or two go..." Rise said in a slight whisper.
"Hmm...I have a feeling you are not the only one that has fallen behind," I commented thinking of the rest of the Investigation Team. "Alright, well I think that is fine then. In that case we don't need to worry to much on how we're seen." Looks like I would have to make sure all of my kohai weren't letting their grades slip too far behind. I think a rigorous study session would be in order after we dealt with Adachi.
Mom nodded, "There has been more paparazzi in the area trying to find out but the police are in a no tolerance policy at the moment with them hoping to have closed up that case but they are still on edge and any unsavory behavior on their part can put them in jail just for acting suspicious so you shouldn't have to worry too much."
"A moment that paranoia is helpful? I'm okay with that," I shook my head. "Besides it can't be avoided that Rise is going to lose fans...but I think it will be a opportunity to gain different fans."
"I don't...want to hide us...or who we are. It goes against everything we've been through together," Rise had finished her breakfast before I had finished mine...kinda hard to do so when I'm trying to converse about some pretty important decisions.
"I agree," I said and looked to my Mom. "I guess that settles that then."
"Kay-chan...I don't know everything that has happened, but whatever it is...I have never seen you this happy in my life. After almost losing you...I never want to see you unhappy...I'm so glad that you are moving forward," Mom said softly and looking to the table.
"Yeah, me too. Sorry for being such a burden to you," I gave a small bow to my Mom from my seat.
She shook her head, "Not once have I ever considered you a burden. Nor would I ever...you are just as much a son to me as Miyuki was my daughter. We both had to deal with a lot in our lives because of it but even if it took us years to get to this point. I think we can both move forward."
Mom was right...the aftermath of Miyuki's death took years to sort through. Mom divorced the horrible man immediately but it took some time for it to go through because of the court case of him killing Miyuki. The case moved relatively quickly. Even if he didn't have intent there was multiple other charges he was guilty of...and she did die because of him. My Uncle originally had no charges on him but there was something else that had worked in Mom's favor at the time. My Uncle's Guardianship papers over me were a couple months over the renewal time. Something he often neglected to do. So it was easy for my Mom, Nanase, to have the paperwork in and essentially take me away in rather short order...plus she had taken me to the hospital that day when Miyuki died to have me fully examined as evidence against my Uncle. The bruises and scars on my body did not disappoint and was enough to put him in jail for a number of years as well as a means to secure a court order to keep him away from me for life.
Right now...there was only one thing preventing real life from moving forward. As long as Adachi was still in the TV World...until all of that was finished...then nothing could move forward. That was what they were going to deal with today. I knew that I had to keep moving forward...and the first thing to do was ensure no one else would suffer because of Adachi.
I got to my feet, and so did Rise. "We're going to school, Mom. We'll be back tonight."
"Be careful, you two. You have a lot of work ahead of you," Mom said as she started gathering up the dishes.
She had no idea how right she was. Because even I didn't know just how much work was ahead of Rise and I.
December 6th, 2011 / After School
TV World (Studio Backlot)
After a brief search for Teddie we all went into the TV World. I had half expected to see some media looking for Rise and I but we didn't actually have any problems...perhaps they still believed I was in the hospital. Either way it was nice to have only one thing to focus on for a moment. Then again...the dense fog outside probably had something to do with it too.
We landed on the other side and looking around...something felt different. No...something felt wrong.
"Whoa...Look how dense the fog is...It's gotten even worse than before," Chie commented as we couldn't help but notice the fact that even with the glasses on...it was still somewhat foggy.
"Certainly isn't the most inviting feeling I've ever had coming in here," I said as I looked out into the fog, trying to discern...well...anything.
"You're right...there's a malicious aura everywhere...It feels completely different from the last time I was in here. I think we'd better hurry. Give me a sec to try finding Adachi," Rise said as she summoned her Persona and started scanning the area.
"Does this mean both this world and ours are getting messed up?" Yosuke speculated.
"Our glasses work on the fog in our world too. It can't be normal. And I heard more people are falling ill because of the fog. I wonder what's going to happen," Yukiko stepped toward one of the railing, looking into the distance.
Yeah...the real world was also becoming covered in fog. It had been somewhat normal but it never lingered for a few days at a time. Usually it came and was gone by the morning. And the glasses we used to see in the TV World was suddenly working in the real world. That only meant that the fog was coming from here...somehow...somewhere...the fog was leaking into the real world. But to know how that happened...would mean knowing more about the TV world itself.
"I sense him! Adachi's definitely in here!" Rise said as she focused.
"Are you serious!? Which way!?" Yosuke asked.
"Hold on..." Rise said.
"I guess there is no room for doubt then," said Yu, who had been quiet for most of the time. He certainly wasn't very happy about this.
"He did come to this side...there is no denying that Adachi is the true culprit. Once we capture him, solving the mystery of this world and the rest of the case can't be far behind," Naoto pulled out a notepad and scribbled something down.
"One thing at a time," Yu said as he shook his head.
"Well...I know Adachi is here, but I can't track him down myself...Gee, Ted! Why aren't you here when we need you most!?" Rise un-summoned her Persona and stepped next to me. "It's no use...I can only tell that Adachi is here, not his exact location. If only Teddie was with us."
Everyone stood there for a moment not knowing what to do. Rise tried a few more times and before we knew it, a good amount of time had passed.
"Let's leave for now. No point in us banging our heads against a wall," Yu finally said so all of the Investigation Team left the TV World.
Arriving back in Junes, "Let's head back to the Special Headquarters." Yu said as everyone walked off, all but me. Rise looked back at me for a moment but I assured her I would only be a moment and she walked off.
I turned to see Teddie hiding behind a group of televisions. Well I had seen him earlier but had given him the chance to show himself. He hadn't...he was hesitating. So I walked over to him, "Where have you been, Teddie?"
"Kay-chan!" Teddie came rushing out, it looked like he wanted to hug me but stopped himself. "How...I thought you were..." He hung his head. "I...I was so useless, I couldn't do anything and..."
I frowned, "What are you talking about? Teddie, you don't get it. Even though I was under, I heard all of you. Even as I was being consumed by that darkness...I could hear all of you clear as day. I have a lot to live for...and I'll continue to do so as long as all of you are in my life. YOU included."
"You heard me...Kay-chan?" Teddie looked up at me finally.
I nodded, "Yeah...though it will go down as probably a miraculous recovery from an unknown illness. The Doctor wasn't really sure how to write his report on the whole thing. But I'm not going to give up just because of something like that. Not after I've met all of you."
"Unknown...If I'm an unknown being, then the way I can change is unknown, too...So all I have to do ...is make them not-unknown. If Kay-chan is doing his best, and so is everyone else then I..." I saw a realization cross Teddies face as he was talking. "I'm just a Shadow, but Kay-chan cheered up when he heard my voice...So what if I'm just a Shadow...!? There must be something I can do! I can't just give up thinking about things...That's why I came back here. Right, Kay-chan?"
Well, I was going to say something but I saw Teddie's Persona become something completely different.
"I'm glad you finally found your resolve, Teddie. Come on, the others are worried about you," I said and offered him my hand. Teddie grinned as we both walked towards the Special Headquarters.
We could hear them as we approached.
"Dammit...We came so far to run smack into a dead end," Kanji pounded his fist on the table.
"I know he's in there, too...What's wrong with me...? My powers are completely useless...!" Rise was muttering and rubbing her arm. She was completely wrong about that but since I had Teddie with me...I guess the best way was to give them something that will stop this mood from spreading.
Teddie and I approached. "Sorry about that. Guess who I found."
Everyone turned and Rise got to her feet, "Teddie!?"
"Y-Y-You little... Where the hell were you!?" Yosuke was clearly concerned.
"I-I'm sorry..." Teddie looked to the ground.
"You idiot! Bad bear! Bad! You're so late! Who do you think you are!?" Rise was in tears...a combination of frustration and worry for where Teddie had been. I moved to Rise's side to which she grabbed me and started crying more.
"U-Um, R-Rise-chan... Are you faking?" Teddie was probably unsure how he should respond.
"No, stupid!" Rise muttered against me as Teddie still seem baffled.
"Come on, get it through that thick head of yours," I shook my head. He probably felt guilty...for a lot of things.
"S-Sorry...! I want to help you all again." Teddie hung his head.
"You know how much trouble you caused, y'dumb bear!? Where the hell were you?" Kanji added. I think everyone wanted to lecture Teddie just as much as they wanted to hug him because of how glad they were to see him.
"I'm sorry...I figured out a lot of things...Stuff about me...and that world. I wanted to tell you all. That day at the hospital when Kay-chan died...I realized that I really can't do anything. As soon as I thought that, I lost consciousness. Then when I woke up I was inside the fog. Shadows...can't stay in the human world. They aren't allowed. My time there made me remember lots of things. My world is a place shaped by human thoughts...One day, a Shadow living in that world awakened to human emotions. But humans and Shadows are completely different entities...So he made himself forget that he was a Shadow. He wanted to forget because he wanted people to like him. That is how I came to look like this," Teddie kept his eyes low while he explained.
"A Shadow? You mean you're one of those things we've been fighting?" Chie's voice held more curiosity than anything else.
"Yup...just like the ones you all know about. Shadows are suppressed human thoughts given form...Everyone has them inside," Teddie continued to keep his eyes down.
"Wait...You say you're a Shadow, but you didn't attack us. And you kept telling us from the start that you wanted to bring peace and quiet back to that world, right?" Yosuke just shook his head.
"Bur in the end...I was just an ordinary Shadow. Nothing special about me at all. I did everything I could until now to try and make my world peaceful...But instead, the weird fog started seeping out into this world too...I'm sorry...I'm really sorry. If I really was special, then maybe I..."
"It's no big deal," Yosuke was quick to speak over him and interrupt him. "I mean, we weren't expecting much from you in the first place. And about you being a Shadow, we pretty much figured you were something like that anyway."
"Huh?" Teddie finally looked up. "Wh-What're you saying!? Here I am, pouring my heart out to you, and you say you thought I was something like that anyway!? No normal person would think such a pretty bear could really be a Shadow!"
"Man, that is what you're going to get hung up on?" I shook my head.
"So what's the problem with being a Shadow?" Kanji countered.
"It's true that you may have been born that way. But you now possess the power of Persona. A Shadow is suppressed power...Once controlled by the ego, it becomes a Persona...Doesn't it follow, then , that you must have developed an ego? Whether the ego masters its Shadow, or the Shadow awakens to its ego...The only difference I see is the order in which the process occurred," Naoto who had been relatively quiet offered this theory that was supported by pretty much the whole way Persona's seemingly worked.
"Oh! Teddie's practically human, then." Chie said smiling at Teddie.
"I-I'm...the same as humans?" Teddie seemed hesitant to believe it.
"You keep trying to figure out who you are, just like all of us here. You can't do much on your own...You really aren't that special...See? What's so different between you and us?" Yosuke offered a smile of his own.
Teddie turned to tears in true Teddie fashion. And I mean that by he quickly turned his tears to try and cheer himself up, "Th-Than...Thank you...I'm so glad...I met you guys..."
"Well, the rest of us were pretty much a group of misfits to begin with too, right? You fit right in, man," Yosuke added with a chuckle.
"I beg your pardon? Who are you calling a misfit?" Naoto glared over to Yosuke.
"Isn't that just you, Senpai?" Rise added her own glare.
"Hey...That's not something a detective would say...Or an idol, either!" Yosuke looked back to Teddie. "Geez...Stop crying, will ya? Now's not the time for that. While you were gone, we figured out who murdered teh announcer and Senpai...It was Adachi." That brought Teddie back quickly.
"Huh? That total goofball? Whoa...I didn't notice at all. Looks like I'm pretty blind to that sorta thing...Mmm...But you all know him...If you can't find someone like that, I don't think I can help you..." Teddie was still being glum...but he was seemingly feeling better.
"But it is where you came from. You never know until you try anyway," I added. There was no point into thinking about his motive. We would get to that when we confronted him.
"Like I said, we're not expecting much from ya," Yosuke was probably the most vocal to Teddie.
"The main thing is, it's hard to get pumped about this without someone nice 'n fuzzy around," Kanji said.
"Yeah, what Kanji said," Rise nodded.
"Everyone missed you Teddie. Everyone feels useless from time to time. That's just how life is. But thats why you have friends...to help you deal with things you can't do alone," I knew I would never have discovered it myself without the others. Still...I was still new to the whole friendship deal...and even more new to the relationship with Rise.
"O-Okay...Thanks, guys," Teddie gave his usual grin.
"Alright, now that the band's back together, let's take it from the top, starting tomorrow," Yosuke said folding his arms.
"Good idea...as it is now we won't have much time to do anything even if we did find him," Yu nodded in agreement. "Ready to give us a hand Teddie?"
"It's been a while, but I'll do my best to look for him too! Leave it to Fuzzy!" Teddie said proudly and pufffed up his chest.
I couldn't help but laugh and so did the others. Yeah...fighting Adachi means also finding the truth of the murders that had occurred. But we all were going to move forward...for the sake of those that had been victims. So that the real truth can come to light.
December 7th, 2011 / After School
TV World (Studio Backlot)
"I'll give it a try, but...if Rise-chan couldn't find him, I really doubt someone with a dried-up nose like me will be much help..." Teddie still prepped himself and seemed to take a long sniff of the area around us. "Hmm...Mmmmmmm...I do smell Adachy-baby in here, but the fog is completely covering up his scent..."
"Teddie, you can't do it either?" Rise sighed. She couldn't stand the fact that she couldn't find it. Having a support type Persona meant that she was failing in what she specifically was supposed to be the best at.
"When you look at me with those eyes...I get this feeling...I've gotta sniff him out no matter what! This is my time to shine!" Teddie seemed to be doubly focused. Why he had to get motivated after looking at my girlfriend I could let slide only because it was Teddie. "Ooh, I'm getting something!"
"Have an idea of where it is then?" I prompted him.
"Yeah but...that's weird...If I remember right, that's where Sensei, Yosuke and Chie-chan came from when I met them for the first time," Teddie was recalling something I obviously wouldn't know.
"When we first...? Where was that? Ohhh...you mean that creepy-ass room where all the faces on the posters were cut out?" Yosuke thought out loud.
"Yep...there's someone there!" Teddie seemed more sure of himself now.
"Teddie! You really are amazing!" Rise grinned.
"It was just dumb luck...It's because that's where I first sensed Sensei and the others...That's why I kinda smelled over there..." Teddie said looking back to the others. Made sense why Rise couldn't find it...she had never been over there before after all.
"Ahh, I see. Wait...did you say it smelled...? Wasn't that the room where Yosuke had to go to the bathroom, and..." Chie stopped herself and shook her head.
"Huh? You're saying...he peed his pants there!?" Rise immediately jumped to conclusions which made me laugh.
"Eww...! I don't wanna hear it!" Yukiko added her distaste to the situation.
"Oh you lie so bad! Dude, I did not piss my pants! Chie! Quit spreading random rumors about stuff like that!" Yosuke sounded more exasperated about it than angry.
"Uhhh, well, it happened so long ago...My memory's kinda fuzzy, you know..." Chie said scratching the back of her head.
"Oookaaay guys, enough fuzziness! Follow me, the master of fuzzy logic! ...Heehee," Teddie seemed rather amused with himself.
"S-Snrk..." Yukiko seemed like she was about to lose it into one of her laughing fits.
"Haha, I haven't heard you crack up in a while, Yukiko. ...Though, I really wonder sometime about your sense of humor," Chie shook her head.
"Then we're set to move out?" Yu finally spoke up to take the reign again. Everyone nodded.
"So...we're going to capture Adachi huh?" I said as we all started to move. It was somewhat comforting the others could act like they always do...despite us chasing a killer...into a world that was created by his own mind. Assuming that it worked the same way with him. There was no telling that until we went there I suppose.
"Something bothering you, Senpai?" Kanji asked me.
"When I was little...I wanted to believe that my Uncle and Miyuki's Father were the only bad people in the world. That no one else in the world would do something as bad as that," I sighed as I walked behind the others with Kanji. "The truth was that it was because they were just the ones that most threatened the world I lived in. Anything else didn't really register to me. Obviously...there are a lot of bad people in the world...or a justice system wouldn't ever exist."
"I was always angry as a kid. My Dad being a no show and all. I thought I had to be the man and protect Mom. And that meant doing it on my own. I would have done anything to help her," Kanji shrugged. "But killing someone...that's messed up. Is there ever a good reason to kill someone?"
"Sure," I answered nonchalantly. Kanji seemed alarmed at my answer but after a moment realized what I had meant. "Good and Bad are subjective. What I believe to be right and good could be different for you. This is why society exists to begin with. We establish laws to collectively decide what is considered good behavior and bad behavior. It doesn't make us right...but simply what we find to be acceptable in our society. A way we could all life in an environment and feel safe."
"I think I got it. It's why people always fighting the law, right?" Kanji asked.
I nodded, "To put it in the terms of sociology, it's called a social norm...which is another way of saying an accepted behavior within a group or community. One of them is usally always...Killing is bad. But at the same time...killing during war time is not included in that. It's accepted that people kill other people in war. So a person being wrong...or bad is incredibly subjective depending on location and time. It was an odd thing to learn. To kill in the name of your own self interest, but to kill in the name of society...or rather your country, is celebrated. Sociology can teach you quite a bit about how society works...and more about how our minds work and why certain decisions are made."
"But no matter how you look at it...your Uncle and that girls Dad were bad guys. There is no situation when either of those is okay," Kanji was quick to counter.
"Sure...in our society now. But in a different time...such as ancient Japan...as his charge it would have been completely okay for him to punish me over anything he deemed wrong as the patriarch of the household. And that would have been within his rights within the society at that time. His actions would have never been questioned. As a matter of fact, people in that time would have said that I was completely at fault for not meeting the expectations of the household. In the same breath, Miyuki's Father would have been determined on what his station was in life. As position dictated power and the allowances that society would tolerate. A man of noble birth would have been justified. A man of insignificance would be shamed and dishonored. I suppose in some ways things have ultimately reversed. Now men and women of power and status in society are held to a higher standard, while people on the low rungs are almost excused because of it," I sighed a bit.
"Where did all of this come from, Senpai?" Kanji pressed. I hope I hadn't made the discussion too difficult for him to follow.
"Adachi was a man people trusted...still trust. If he is responsible for the death of the announcer and Saki-san then...it is just depressing. I'm sure there was plenty of times he legitimately helped people. Not to mention his partners on the police force who thought that he had their back. But he's been lying to all of them...and likely manipulating information to his benefit," Nothing angered me as much as people with power...that abuse it to their benefit. "A bad cop...just like Miyuki's Father. I think that pisses me off more than anything else."
"Yeah, I get it," Kanji scratched the back of his head. "I think it's 'cause of people like Adachi we don't fully trust cops...ya know? We want to...so I think people give them the benefit of the doubt."
"You're right. We want to believe that if someone take up a badge...that it means something to them. That we can turn to them when we need it. After all...the original cops were defenders of villagers. Someone that was chosen, or chose themselves to take up arms to defend the people that couldn't. That makes it so Adachi has a lot to answer for," I said as the group began slowing down.
The Investigation Team came to a door and our conversation came to an end. Yu did not hesitate and opened the door to the room and revealed Adachi standing on one side of the room. We all entered and waited for him to notice.
"That damn bitch..." he growled while not looking at us. "I noticed her first...and she just had to run off and have an affair." Then as if he sensed us, he turned to us. "Oh...it's you guys. You're very persistent."
"So its true then," Yu started, his voice even but I could hear the disappointment. The last part of Yu that held onto the hope that it wouldn't be Adachi was gone. His next words were strong as steel. "You killed Ms. Yamano."
"You're getting on my nerves, kid..." Adachi seemed more bored than anything else actually. "If you must know, It was an accident. She started struggling...What else was I supposed to do? I called her out to the lobby because I wanted to ask her something. And then she started getting hysterical. I just wanted to know if what they said on the news was true or not. I wanted to know if she had been having an affair. Naturally she wouldn't tell me, and wouldn't deny the claim. So I got angry. I hoped she was different than the others but she was just another worthless bitch. So I thought of a brilliant idea to punish her...to make her see the error of her ways. I was surprised when she fell all the way in." Adachi laughed...laughed like a homicidal maniac would. "Fortunate for me, nobody was around in the lobby in the middle of the night."
"That...happened in our lobby?" Yukiko seem mortified by this information. I could hardly blame her. We had all speculated before it was possible when we had stayed at the Inn after the culture festival. I hadn't realized how on the nose that it would be.
"I heard the rumor about the Midnight Channel some time after moving here. You tend to hear fishy stories like that on the force. But it was pure coincidence that I touched the TV screen and discovered my power. I burst out laughing when I found out. I knew right away that this was going to get interesting," Adachi grinned. So he had gained his power to do so...before or when he arrived to Inaba? He was so confident...did he...was he not affected by the world? Did he have a Persona? I moved closer to Rise and pulled her next to me.
"Rise...focus...he's too comfortable," I whispered to her.
"So you tested it out on Yamano Mayumi," Yosuke speculated out loud. The others could keep him distracted while Rise scanned. Fortunately she didn't need to summon her Persona to do that but...it would take her longer.
Adachi shook his head, "Nah, nothing like that. I'm a sincere fellow. I was just trying to punish the stupid bitch a little for betraying me. Yeah, putting them in the TV was never the plan. But y'know, both Mayumi and that dippy high school girl struggled for no reason..."
"Then you were responsible for Saki-senpai's death?" Yosuke's disposition had become angry rather quickly.
"Saki...? Oh yeah...her name was Konishi Saki...or something like that. At first I called her in 'cause work-related stuff. Her being the one that discovered Mayumi's body and all. And naturally, if there was any chance she'd seen something, I'd need to know, right?" Adachi was explaining it all as if this was all something they should have known. "So I was all set to be a nice guy to her, and then that bitch..." He became irritable this time. "She was seen with Namatame. Apparently getting pretty cozy with him. So I shoved her in one...convenient that the interrogation room has a TV. But seriously what is with high school girls these days? This world has gone straight to shit. When I was in school, the only thing I was allowed to do was study my ass off. I was supposed to be the best of the best but instead they assign me out here in the boonies. But I guess I got a sweet power to make up for it."
"You sick bastard," I muttered. I could feel my anger bubbling up. This...this was the kind of guy...just like Miyuki's Father!
"It was a lot easier the second time...high school girls are thinner...ya know...lighter," he wielded his grin like a weapon.
"You son of a bitch," Yosuke formed a fist wanting to leap at Adachi...everyone could see it.
"C'mon, gimme a break," Adachi rolled his eyes. "I didn't know it was dangerous inside the TV. It's not like I was trying to kill them. I mean, I'm sure they hit on Namatame, not the other way around. A council secretary will one day rise to public office himself. Mayumi and that high schooler were just gold digging. They got exactly what they deserved. I didn't do anything wrong at all."
"Shut the hell up! You knew from what happened to Yamuno Mayumi that people die here!" Yosuke lashed out again.
Adachi sighed bored with Yosuke's outburst, "So what if I knew?"
"Adachi...are you also the one that tricked Namatame?" Yu went to Yosuke's side and pulled him back to calm him down.
"Trick him?" Adachi shook his head. "He called the police in the middle of the night, just after they found that Saki girl's body. The rest of the force had their hands full with the double homicide, and it happened that I was the one who took the call."
"Namatame said that the police refused to take him seriously...You were responsible for that, then," Naoto said.
"Oh, quite the contrary. If anyone else had taken the call, sure, but I actually did believe him, y'know...? But who was going to believe him that both the girls had shown up on the Midnight Channel before they died? And that now he had seen some girl in a kimono. So I told him, if he wanted to save her...why not just do it himself? All he had to do was shelter her...some place where no one could find her." He laughed again, "Isn't that amazing? Of all the people that could've received Namatame's call, it ended up being me! Talk about luck. All I did was give him a little push. And he completely bought into his vision of the world. Better yet, the more you guys saved, the more he'd kidnap. Both sides had the best of intentions, so the game of cat and mouse would never end! Haha, it was awesome."
"You gotta be shittin' me," Kanji muttered.
"Why...? What reasons could you have for doing it?" Yukiko asked the question that everyone would definitely want to know. I didn't hold my breath...any answer he would give would only reveal something worse that the others probably didn't want to know. But I could see it in his eyes.
"Reasons...?" Adachi shrugged. "None, really. I could do it, that's all. And it was fun...I guess that was my reason?"
Yeah, I had already guess that the reason was something like that. Still even so...I don't know if it was how it felt for him now. Things change over time...but still...could I keep my own anger in line to think calmly? He reminded me so much of Miyuki's Father. That man...he had used her to fulfill his own sick and twisted desires. When she finally fought back...she died. Any punishment less than death didn't seem enough for me. Yet this man took away the life of two women...and why? Because they didn't live up to his standards? As if his life and enjoyment was the only thing that was important? This man deserved nothing more than to be left for dead himself.
"You murdered people just for the fun of it?" Chie was baffled...offended...all of the Investigation Team was. How could someone have a power like this and make this choice?
The answer was simple. Because they can. Adachi had already indicated that he didn't feel like he deserved to be here...in Inaba. He thought he would have a much higher station of more importance. But he got assigned to the middle of nowhere...but unlike most people instead of applying himself to try and move up in the world he had accepted the current status quo. And decided that things would never get better. So instead he only sought to entertain himself...and his power had been a method of doing just that.
"C'mon...All I did was put people in here. I didn't murder them. And Namatame did most of it. I had nothing to do with any of you," Adachi wasn't wrong in a twisted way. If he had stopped with Yamano Mayumi then it would have been believable. But he pushed Konishi Saki in knowing full well what the end result. Mayumi might have been manslaughter but he murdered Konishi. This man had no remorse for what he had done.
"You're just dodging the blame," Kanji was losing his cool.
"Yeah?" Adachi narrowed his eyes on Kanji. "Then how would you prove it? You going to tell them...'he put them inside the TVs'? Haha, you think the police are stupid. I do admit, though. I never thought you guys would manage to track me down. I like that, Games like this gotta have surprises or they get boring fast. Like when I dealt with that Kubo kid. That was fun too."
"Then...you mean to say that Kubo Mitsuo's disappearance was your doing as well? I did sense something odd in his course of action...If he had special powers and wanted attention, why resort to a regular copycat crime? But that wasn't the case...Kubo had no such powers. In fact, he was thrown in by you...Am I correct?" Naoto was the one to step up this time.
"It had been a while since I last put someone inside the TV, so I really got a kick out of that one," he chuckled finding the whole conversation amusing. So he had attempted to kill someone else...but at that point he must have known that someone was saving people put in the TV. Likely had figured out it Was Yu and the others.
"Why did you do that..? And...how come Mitsuo didn't say anything about you...?" Chie pressed her questions.
"You think that didn't occur to me before I did it? C'mon, I'm a detective. I let him through to a room at the station with a TV, switched off the lights, and did it quick while he was startled. As long as he didn't see me push him in, and no one else did either, no one would believe him...even if he survived. Of course, I don't think the Kubo kid ever figured out what happened, haha," this was all just some big joke to him.
"Wait, the police station...?" Yosuke was the one to notice what he had stated.
"Yeah...he turned himself in pretty quick, actually. This was back when we didn't even know enough to issue a search warrant. But the other officers decided it was just a prank, so they pawned him off on me. I didn't blame them...I mean, a kid coming and saying, 'I did it all! It was me'? Who'd believe him? But it looked bad...I didn't think anyone would come forward and take the blame for all the incidents. The police were desperate to pin it on anyone...If this kid really did it, they might have announced the case was closed. And if that happened, Namatame would stop 'saving' people. I couldn't let that happen, or the game would be over. That's why I told the others I sent him home. I came up with the idea to put him inside the TV on the spot," Adachi was very eager to share all of this. That bothered me more than anything else. If he was willing to spill all the events...that meant he wasn't concerned about the outcome...or he already had an idea as to what the outcome would be.
"The game would be over...? You threw him in just so your fun wouldn't end!?" Yukiko...no everyone was becoming angry the more Adachi spoke. He was throwing everyone off...more than likely intentionally to get them to make mistakes.
"You gotta have some excitement in life, don't you agree? But then you guys put your foot in it yet again and ruined my fun. Thanks to you, Kubo was arrested again, and everyone acted like he was the true culprit behind it all. Tch...Couldn't they see how badly he copied the crime scene? It worked out in the end, though, because good ol' Namatame kept saving people. I guess the guy started to develop some kinda messiah complex, huh? What an idiot," he said that but he laughed, clearly amused by the thought. That was right...after that it had been Naoto...then myself before it had been intended to Nanako. If it hadn't been Nanako...if we hadn't figured it out it was Namatame...this stupid game would still be going on.
"This is all a game to you...How dare you murder people...murder Saki-senpai for such a stupid reason...I'll never forgive you," Yosuke was shaking with anger.
"You can keep your forgiveness. Our world will probably become just like this place soon enough anyways. Didn't you notice? The fog's leaking out. Everything on that side's pretty much screwed..." he said this so nonchalantly that I was sure I had heard him wrong. But he clarified it further. "The two worlds will merge soon, and then there'll be no difference, no 'sides' anymore."
"What the hell's he talking about?" Kanji mumbled.
"This...it isn't him. This isn't his real body," Rise voice rose as she made the connection. She must have finally figured out what felt wrong to her. "The real Adachi is somewhere else, deeper inside."
"But this guy feels different from an ordinary Shadow...It doesn't seem like he's going berserk..." Teddie added his observation.
Adachi cocked his head, "Wow, you can tell that much? This me is just around to greet you guys and thank you for wasting your time by chasing me in here. I'd say this world has taken a real shine to me...I feel like it's given me everything I've ever wanted. And the monsters don't attack me at all. Maybe they can tell we have the same goal...?"
"The Shadows'...goal?" Yukiko hadn't thought of the Shadows having a goal...the tone in her voice had made that much obvious to me.
"By the end of the year, Inaba will disappear completely into the fog. Soon, this place will be reality. I'll be in this world, so if you want me, come and get me. This world has a mind of its own. We'll see which of us it favors," Adachi laughed once more.
"Keep your bullshit to yourself. It's about time you shut the hell up. We'll finish this right now!" Kanji charged forward but when his fist came close to Adachi...he disappeared completely.
Adachi's voice still lingered though, "What a chump. Didn't I just tell you the real me is somewhere else? I'll be expecting you all...We'll put an end to this then."
"Get back here...you..."
"Forget it," I said stepping forward and putting a reassuring hand on Chie's shoulder. "We know he is in here...and he has no intentions of leaving."
"That stuff about the world's mind, and how this place will become our reality...was he serious?" Yosuke was the first to speak up about it. It was news to all of us...and definitely not something that should be dismissed.
"The rest of his confessions were consistent. We'd best proceed under the assumption that it's no lie," Naoto admitted but didn't want to believe it herself.
"It feels like...he's gained some strong power after coming here," Rise added. She was right...and likely because it reacted to him differently. He wasn't denying what he had done...he wasn't ashamed of the crimes he had committed. No...if he was this place would be different...he would have reacted differently. No...there was no threat of him denying his Shadow or him being killed by his Shadow. He wouldn't deny what he had done...he had accepted it and who he really was. As hard as it was to think...what we were seeing was likely his true feelings, that he already accepted and now was showing to us for the first time. Honestly...it was frightening what it meant to go after him.
"Not only that...Maybe he got taken over by that power," Teddie put in his opinion about it.
"So what he said about the two worlds becoming one...That's really gonna happen?" Yukiko spoke softly.
"Didn't he say that it would happen by the end of this year!? What happens then?" Chie was panicked...this was getting out of hand.
"I think he means...this world will engulf the human world. The people in town are acting weird. It's like when the Shadows that emerged from people went berserk. If the fog gets even thicker and this town is completely shut off from the outside world...Then...the other side might become full of Shadows, like over here..." Teddie would know best...he came from here and was a Shadow himself. Even if it is true there was no way of knowing how to stop it. The only option was to chase and capture Adachi.
"You mean, everyone's gonna turn into Shadows..." Rise said as she moved next to me and grabbed my arm for comfort.
"Dammit...Damn that bastard. Why? We went through so much to get here...And now it turns out he was pulling our strings this whole time?" Yosuke cursed and punched the wall next to him.
"No," Yu said simply as he turned to the others. "Either way...he's in here...and we aren't going to let this happen anymore."
A few words and Yosuke had regained his composure...I wonder if Yu was aware of how quickly he could ease his friends minds with just a few words. Yet...something bothered me with how he had phrased it.
"Yeah...It's about time we finished this. I don't want to feel this way ever again," Yosuke steeled himself.
Rise motioned to a hole in the wall that was a new addition to the room. "There's a path we can take now. I sense Adachi's presence from that direction...He's taunting us."
"Bring it on! Let's go kick his ass, right now!" Kanji took a few steps forward but was stopped by Naoto.
"Wait, I suggest we prepare ourselves first. We can't let him stab us in the back, ever again...We must face him with all the power at our disposal, and defeat him...without fail," Naoto easily weathered Kanji's potential charge.
"There could be more than just apprehending Adachi at stake here. We should make sure we are more than ready," I added.
"I'm a little worried what he means, 'by the end of the year'...But now is not the time to freak out. Let's get prepared...Let's get overprepared and leave footprints all over his stupid smug face!" Chie said making herself pumped as well as the others.
"Let's head back for now. Charging in right now is what he wants. So we'll go back...get some rest and come up with a plan of action on how to approach this," Yu declared to the rest of the time.
Everyone agreed. I had a bad feeling about this fight...but...I would do what I had to. I had fought to come back...and I wasn't about to let anything stop the future from happening.
December 9th, 2011 / Evening
Kayane's House
We were sitting on the floor in the Music Room, Rise and I had been talking for a while now. She leaned in towards me and put her forehead against mine, "I hate it. I just got you back and then Adachi says that the world is just going to turn to Shadows? I think about it...and it scares me. I won't just lose you...I'll lose me too. After everything we both went to...who gets to make a decision like that? Kayane...I want a chance for our life together." She wouldn't shake this feeling...not until we actually went in after Adachi.
This was something Rise couldn't shake from her mind. I've seen it in her eyes every time I look at her over the last couple days. Things needed to change...so I had emailed Yu to come over tonight along with Yukiko to talk about this. And maybe find a way to get Rise's mind off of things. Setting it up as something of a double date had been somewhat effective in distracting her. But after we had tried to work on our songs...it was obvious that Rise couldn't focus. It wasn't like she was off key but she wasn't hitting the notes like she usually did.
I wasn't exactly 100% focused either. The situation was far from normal...but I think I had a more unique perspective. With my own time in a place called the Velvet Room. I got to see Miyuki again...in a arguably stranger situation then what Adachi had alluded to. I also learned that there were forces much stronger at work than we knew. The thought that such a power could exist to effect our world in such a way didn't sound as strange to me than it would have normally. And the way Adachi had said it...he found our confrontation to be mere amusement...nothing to be worried about. That pissed me off to no end. The fact that the two worlds would eventually merge only seemed to be more entertaining to him. Supposedly he didn't care. I guess that was another reason why I wanted Yu over...I wanted to know his thoughts on Adachi.
"Rise, nothing is decided yet. He can say whatever he wants but we will face it...and fight whatever we come up against. Together," I said offering her the best smile I could.
"He's right," Yu said from the doorway of the music room with Yukiko standing behind him.
"Senpai? ...Oh I'm sorry. I didn't want you guys to see me this way..." Rise said as she wiped her tears away.
"No...I think its something we've all felt lately," Yukiko said clutching to Yu's arm. If I had my guess...Yukiko had expressed something similar to Yu. All of their futures seemed to be in the balance. Still it was somewhat relieving to get the sense that the two of them had talked about it.
"I still agree that we needed time to think about this before charging in against Adachi," I didn't want people to think we had made a mistake...we all needed to calm our minds and focus. "But maybe we're thinking too much about it."
"I think...we just need to make a decision about it," Yu sighed as he and Yukiko entered the music room. "I'm guessing that is also part of the reason you invited us over."
I shook my head, "You already made a decision. And I think you need to talk about it. You haven't even said anything to Amagi-san...have you?" I knew I was calling him out...but that was why it was just us four. Yu was quick to avert his eyes. I had wanted him to deny me...to tell me that he had...but this told me that he hadn't...I didn't like that. I figured he would have...I know I had my own problems...and there was still plenty I was scared to talk about with Rise, even after everything that had happened. That was my problem though. And I planned to talk to Rise about it later tonight.
"You're pretty perceptive, Senpai," Yu spoke softly. Yukiko and Rise were surprised by this.
"Yu...what's wrong?" Yukiko was still at his side holding his arm. Trying to comfort him.
He kept his eyes down and wouldn't even look at Yukiko. I took no pleasure in being right...I simply couldn't allow him to lie to himself...or the others. I knew what it was like...to keep it all to myself, to shut others out...to never tell the truth. I was convinced no one would understand...that they wouldn't listen. Even I knew that my life was different now...and my girlfriend and my friends would listen and try to understand my problems...even if they didn't have a similar experience to draw from. I know I still had a long way to go to fix that part of myself...it wasn't like a switch you could flip and just not do it anymore.
"I suggested that it could be Adachi...There was a lot of things that didn't add up...a lot of things that would be explained if it was Adachi. And...it was him," his hand curled into fists. "I trusted him...as a member of the family...like he was always there. So when it all came together I was faced with the very fact that Adachi...was the killer. When I had first met him...he was already a killer. So who was it that I got to know? Who was the person I thought I could trust? All of it was just words of a liar. He deceived me from the beginning!"
Yukiko didn't say anything and instead just put her arm around him. I had some things I wanted to say...to put the thoughts to words. Thoughts that likely Yu was thinking but not wanting to say...because it would be admitting it himself.
"It's hard to know when you're deceived when you didn't know him before you came here...But knowing how he acted around you makes it easy to hate him for what he's done...and the things he said to you," I said moving over to the piano now after getting up, moving away from Rise for the moment. "But life is never black and white, what he tells us...and his actual reasons for doing what he did, is probably miles apart. Who is to say who Adachi is...or isn't...that isn't for us to judge. But he betrayed not only your trust, but everyone. The badge he holds means a lot more than that. Something that your Uncle still holds on to. And probably something that once meant something to Adachi as well. Even if he actively denies it."
"That's why...we have to capture him...bring him back and have him punished for what he has done. That's what you want me to say, Senpai?" Yu looked up to me and I gave him a half smile. But I frowned which threw him for a moment. That isn't what I really meant.
"I wanted to kill Miyuki's Father after he had killed her," I gave a response that made Yu blink. And immediately made Rise and Yukiko wonder exactly what I was getting to. "I wanted to kill him so badly that I attacked him in a full court room. Yet, I was only there to testify on what Miyuki had told me the day before she died. But honestly my testimony didn't matter, the physical evidence collected from Miyuki's body was enough to condemn the man. However, despite my knowledge of what he had done he had always been a man of justice...another cop who was supposed to uphold the law. He was well respected among the other officers even. It had to take something drastic to get people to see it. That had been Miyuki's plan. She set a trap for her Father...and lied to Mom to get her to come home early so he could get caught in the act. People were shocked by the trial...and equally more about the allegations against my Uncle who was a well known business man. But do you know what they also showed at the trial?"
Yu shook his head as I sat in front of the piano. I didn't expect him to...the exact details of the trial were made public, but beyond the broad strokes I doubt any of the Investigation Team would have looked at them. That was fine, I had no problems telling him or the girls, "They told a tale of how broken the man was...about the trials and horrors he had been subjected to in his own childhood. In an attempt to have him be more sympathetic and likable to the jury. But actions done to you will never justify the actions you do to another. No other act changes the fact that what you did was wrong. At the end of the day, Miyuki's Father was still guilty of sexual assault and manslaughter. My Uncle guilty of child abuse, neglect and various other charges. Just as Adachi at the end of the day is still a killer."
"You know, Senpai...sometimes it feels like you are much older than us," Yu sighed as he and Yukiko sat in one of the chairs.
"No...I'm simply a survivor, despite others and even myself," I smiled looking at the music sheet in front of me. Music had been a large factor to that fact. And Rise...albeit a bit between indirectly and directly. "That's why we have to keep moving. I won't ever let someone like Adachi...or my Uncle, to just decide what he wants or anyone else. Because their actions hurt innocent people."
"Yeah," Yu nodded. "Two people died because of what he did...of the decisions he made. He had the chance to correct what had happened, to try and go after Mayumi and save her...but he didn't. So no...he isn't going to just get away with it. And I'm definitely not going to let the people here in Inaba turn into Shadows."
"One thing at a time, Yu. First we deal with Adachi," I said and looked to Yukiko then Rise. "Sorry, didn't mean to keep you guys out of the discussion."
Yukiko shook her head, "You're a good friend, Senpai. I knew something was wrong...that Yu was keeping something to himself. I just...couldn't figure out a way to approach him."
"I'm sorry, Yukiko. I just...didn't want people to worry because I thought I was being stupid in my feelings," Yu looked to his girlfriend and offered an apologetic smile. "It wasn't going to stop me from going after him, but I just wasn't sure how I felt about it. I was conflicted but the conflict is with myself. It doesn't change what he's done and that he has to pay for it."
"So that's why you invited them over?" Rise asked.
"Sometimes you need a helpful push to get moving. I think I know that more than anyone," I said and looked to a photo that sat on top of the piano. It was an old photo...of me, Miyuki and Nanase whom I would eventually call my Mother. "I was static...never moving for years...and yet if I hadn't been kidnapped...hadn't been put into the TV world I can almost guarantee that nothing would have changed." I took Rise's hand as she sat next to me and I looked back to Yu and Yukiko. "I don't want any of you to forget the truth of what you have already done...not just for others but for yourselves. Regardless of what happens...you all made impacts on peoples lives...you saved a lot of them...and changed many more because of it."
"The truth...that was what I had been seeking this whole time...yet when I finally got to it...I didn't want to believe it," Yu shook his head. "Running from the truth...I didn't think I would do that when I realized it. But I guess that is also what is difficult about going after the truth. It isn't easy...and sometimes the truth is hard to accept. Sometimes its the hardest thing to do."
"It's why they say ignorance is bliss. More often than not...the truth is painful...And many wish they had continued on not knowing. But we choose not to ignore it. We can't stop now," Yukiko stated her own determination which echoed what I knew was everyones feelings here.
"Well, enough about that, how about some dinner? Tonights menu is something simple, tacos. Then after that we can watch a movie," I smiled and got up from the piano.
"Thanks for this, Senpai," Yu said.
I simply shook my head, "You can thank me again when this is all over."
December 9th, 2011 / Evening
Kayane's House
RISE'S POINT OF VIEW
I took another of the dishes and put it into the sink before starting up the water. It was hard to read Kayane a lot of the times. I often was surprised by him...but maybe not as much as what other people would be. I know he often thought about things a little too much. He also liked to keep a lot of that thinking to himself. It was just like he said though...he was aware he did it...and that it would take time for him to change that about himself.
"Want some help Rise-chan?" Yukiko asked as she walked into the kitchen.
I nodded, "Sure. Thanks Senpai."
She moved next to me and started drying dishes as I was finishing washing them. "Tonight was nice. I think its what Yu needed. You have an amazing boyfirend, Rise-chan."
I grinned, "Of course I do. I couldn't be happier for having him in my life." I was still haunted by what happened in the hospital. Because of that I had rarely left his side since then. I was still scared...terrified that at any moment something was going to try and take him away from me. I didn't feel like myself because of it...and often I had been breaking down when I was alone with him. But because of that I felt like there was a lot he wasn't telling me...if only to protect me. I needed to get out of this funk...I needed to be stronger. I needed to be the one to support him right now.
"Rise-chan...You don't have to hold it in," Yukiko said in a light voice from next to me. I hadn't realized how hard I had been gripping the plate in my hand. I turned to her and she smiled at me. Yukiko had always been supportive, but always soft spoken...well not all the time. Maybe she just found some things more difficult than others.
"Just days ago...I thought he was dead...I thought I had lost him before I had a chance to know him. It's so hard for me to leave every night. Being apart from him leaves me anxious and worried. I know he's fine...but its all I can think about when I'm not with him," I spoke softly, hoping my concerns would not carry down the hall to the music room where Kayane and Yu were. "At the same time...I want us to charge forward and capture Adachi...that maybe by doing that I'll feel better. That maybe I'll finally feel that Kayane is safe. But that isn't true. Whatever it was that had almost killed him is still out there. And possibly waiting for us to put our guard down. How am I supposed to be calm and strong for Kayane when I feel like something out there is still trying to take him from me?"
"But you also know he can take care of himself. It wasn't like he had been defenseless right?" Yukiko finished drying the plate in her hand and set it down. "Rise-chan, our world is so much different now than it was when we first started this year. You quit being an Idol and are now working to go back, but with Senpai. Add in Persona, Shadows and the murder case and...well our lives have gotten a lot more complicated. But you also have to find a way to live life normally, right? Senpai has already shown all of us that he's dependable, and we know he can take care of himself. What happened isn't normal...but there is nothing we can do about it right now. But we can't stop just because of that."
I sighed, it wasn't like I didn't know that, "I know its just right now I want to worry over him. I don't want to let him out of my sight. He was in that bed for a month and I...just want to make up for lost time. And I don't want to sit around and wait...there was so much I didn't tell him before...I thought I had so much time to be able to tell him everything. The whole incident just made me realize that I don't want to wait...I want to cherish every moment I have with him."
"Then I'm sure you'll be just fine, Rise-chan. You should tell him about all this," Yukiko commented. I nodded, she was right...I had expressed most of it to him so far...but I hadn't told him everything just yet. I needed too.
After we finished up we both started walking back to the studio. As we got closer we could hear the two of them talking. I don't know why but we both stopped.
"It doesn't sound like it was that easy. Something infiltrating the depths of your mind? Twisting your own memories?" Yu was the one talking. They were talking about Kayane being trapped in his mind...when he was technically dead.
Kayane chuckled, "There is a lot in my life I don't care to remember. And I'm sure there is plenty of things that I have forgotten along the way. That's the nature of memory anyway. I'm more concerned about what Miyuki had been talking about."
"You said that your Velvet Room was being made in preparation to a trial that you and Rise would have to face, right? But why would it be at a park that only you and Miyuki had ever been to?" Yu asked.
"I'm sure whatever it is...it'll be my fault," Kayane spoke softly so I could barely hear him. "Us going into show business together...just how badly will it ruin her career?"
"Senpai...if you say that in front of her she'll berate you to no end. Besides, what makes you think you won't succeed? This is more than just what she wants, you want this too, right?" Yu was obviously trying to help him get to the root of this...but I was starting to feel a bit guilty listening in like this...but I couldn't help it.
"I'm a burden, even if nobody would say it. That is what I am. You can disagree if you want, but it won't change that it is how I see myself. My point is that...making someone feel important...and having them believe it are two very different things," Kayane said it so plainly...like the words he said truly meant nothing. I found myself tumbling into the room suddenly. I felt on the edge of tears.
"What are you saying?" I spoke before I could stop myself. Kayane, he just looked over and smiled at me. I made my way over to him and he effortlessly was at my side and pulled me into his arms.
"Words carry a heavy weight, don't they, Rise? You hear one side of the conversation and it brings a plethora of emotions to you," he pulled back and looked into my eyes. "But nothing is simple...and words can carry more than one meaning. As I said, I see myself as a burden to others. And I feel like I could be ruining your career. However, there is also the part of me that doesn't care about that. I want to be selfish and hog you to myself. It's also why I want to go and perform with you. Because over everything I believe that my place is right by your side."
I blinked for a moment. Had he known I was listening in? What was wrong with me? Of course he would have doubts about it. That was completely normal, things were different for me because I had been an idol...I had been successful as an idol. To me...success wasn't as important. Going forward with Kayane...that was the highest priority in my mind. "Kayane...we need to talk." I whispered against him. He nodded.
"I believe Yu and I should go. We had a lot of fun tonight. Thanks for inviting us over, Senpai and Rise-chan," Yukiko bowed as Yu was getting to his feet.
"Yes, thank you," Yu bowed as well next to his girlfriend. "I think I'm more than ready to move forward now, thanks to you two."
We saw them both to the door and said our goodbyes once more as the two of them left. My hand was clutching onto Kayane's as he led me back to the studio. He let go of it as he sat in front of the piano as he often did. "Kayane..."
He looked at me for a moment, "It's kind of weird to think we've only been dating for six days."
I shook my head, "If anything I feel like we started dating months ago, around when we first met." That was the honest truth.
He chuckled, "You might be right...I distinctly remember our fellow Investigation Team members referring to us as a couple on a few occasions back then. But that is how its supposed to happen right? Two individuals brought together for one reason or another and then find them inexplicably drawn closer and closer to each other? Though I suppose it doesn't always happen that way. And our circumstances are hardly normal. And I know that I make things more difficult for you." His tone dropped.
"Stop that," I moved and sat next to him at the piano, facing the opposite way from him, but reached over, putting my arms around his chest and leaning my head on his shoulder. "I didn't fall for you because of any one thing. Things have always been difficult for you. I know I started off in a different place when it came to you. I just wanted to be a pillar of support...a friend you could rely on. I thought I could be something that no one else had ever tried to be for you. But then I learned more and more about you. At first I didn't know you loved music. When I found out...I thought that us performing at the culture festival would be the perfect way to make you feel like you belonged with not just me, but among the Investigation Team. That was my only reason I had pushed it. Then...we started to spend so much time together. I was over here...at your house every night after school. Because of that I got to see more and more sides of you."
Kayane didn't say anything he just sat next to me as I was speaking. There was so much I wanted him to know. "Before I knew it...I would search for you whenever I entered a room, even if I already knew you weren't there. I would seek to stand by you when we were with the others. And I wanted to learn more and more about you. Do you remember the night I stayed here during that thunderstorm?"
"Of course, that was when you told me about how you all figured out it was me that had been thrown into the TV," he said simply.
"It was also the night I had realized...just how much I had already fallen for you," I breathed. Lately I had been thinking about that night...the bath...that was probably the point I had been most aware of my attraction to Kayane. For...uh...reasons. Then wearing his clothes and being in his room. And seeing that a poster of me was the only thing up in his room. I felt...elated. Like I had won some big competition and was miles ahead of any competitors. "If you had asked me then...or maybe even before then...I probably would have said yes."
"Maybe, but I would have never asked," Kayane said simply. Of course, I knew that...and I understood the reason why...but still I could feel my heart react to those words. "But we're together now. If it wasn't for my own insecurities and psychological issues it wouldn't be like this. You see...even though I'm aware of it...I still fall into the trappings of it."
"That's why...you say you're a burden," I whisper. "I don't care about that. I would wait, no matter how long it takes."
"Well I'm not okay with that," Kayane's words made me sit back to look into his eyes. "You told me you would marry me. A part of me wanted to do so right away...thinking that way I could be selfish...and keep you all to myself. But I would never be happy with that. Well not completely happy." He laughed which made me smile in turn. His laughter...his voice always touched me in ways no one else could. "I want us both to be happy...and us going after a dream together and seeing it through to the end...its what I want to do. But I'm still worried about the fan back lash...and what happens to your career and what you already built up."
"Kayane...Risette was only a part of me. That was the me that was used to sell albums and seats in concerts. It wasn't really me. But now...when I'm with you on stage...I think I can truly be me. I don't care if I never get as big as I was before. But I know we won't fail. We will succeed by being us," I leaned in and lightly kissed his lips.
He pulled back after a moment, "Rise, stop it."
I blinked for a moment. I felt it a moment later. Tears...I was crying again?
He then wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close...he shook slightly only for a moment, but I let him pull me close and place my head on his shoulder. I was crying again. Tears fell as he held me close. "I'm not going anywhere...okay? Not without you."
"Kayane," I cried against him. "Please...let me stay here...let me sleep next to you. I need to know you're really here..."
"You can sleep in the guest room next to mine. Alright?" He said with a sigh.
I nodded. It would have to be good enough for now. I knew there was a long way to go before he would be comfortable with anything closer. But...I could settle with being just one room over from him. And if needed I could always look in during the night and see him sleeping there. I took a deep breath. This was just one trial in our life...and there was still so much more life to live. Regardless...I would face that difficulty...if only to have the moments like this...and the moments where Kayane made me feel like the most important woman on the planet. The way he made my heart melt when he looked at me...when he spoke to me...and when he sang. I would fight everything to have those moments again and again. I was determined...I would marry him. And I would make him the happiest man in the world. To do that I would take things one day at a time...one battle at a time. And I would make sure I would always be the one there to protect him from now on. Always.
A/N:
Betrayal is something that I think almost all people can relate to. Someone you trust does something you thought they would never do. It doesn't always have to be something big or life threatening. As a matter of fact even the smallest of things tends to hurt us just as well. You tell something to your most trusted friend, believing they would never tell someone else...and you don't tell them to because you know they would never do something like that. Then it happens and now you don't know what to think...and your trust is thrown into question. If you can't trust them...then who can you trust? Can you trust yourself? Maybe it was because you couldn't tell that they weren't trustworthy. One action has a ripple effect on your outlook of others. If Narukami really did have a trusted relationship with Adachi and had been so helpful at times to him...just how devastated would he actually be in the aftermath?
This really wasn't much of an issue before Golden came out. His expanded role is likely caused by the fandom that likes Adachi...whether as just a character or something else. Personally I think its because people wanted to know more about him and what had led him to do the things he did. So in a small way Atlus gave a method for Adachi to have a bit of redemption. Which is seen later in Ultimax. Still it can't change the fact that he is a killer...and that is not something that can be easily forgiven...if ever. People can move past it...and the ones responsible are surely able to find a way to change and maybe seek forgiveness...but the actions caused are never erased. Nothing can change what has already happened. Kayane knows he has a lot to overcome...and here he simply wanted to remind Yu...that regardless of how he feels...there is a truth about what Adachi has done that cannot be ignored.
I wanted to establish more of the mental state before going off to confront Adachi. And maybe lay down some ground work for troubles ahead. Anyway, thanks as always for reading. And I'll see you all next week with the next chapter.
