Chapter 21 / Forward

December 10th, 2011 / Evening
Kayane's House

This was a much different celebration than maybe what it would have been before. Finally the fog that had covered the town was gone. They had found the truth of who had killed the first two victims. But they had also found that the one behind it had been someone that most of the Investigation Team had trusted. It resulted in a conflict of emotions. The one that appeared to be the most conflicted about this was Yu, our leader. I had known that it would be like this but still he was happy. I could see that it still really bothered him though...as the entire time he had stayed close to Yukiko. If anything he just wasn't sure what he should be feeling. That conflict was a strange comfort to me in a way. After all, Yu wasn't the kind of person to just accept things as they are...he questioned it and dug for the truth. That was what made him a leader.

I had talked to Yu the night before in order to make sure his motivation was in the right place and that he had been thinking about it logically. It was never an easy thing to do...to learn the truth about someone you thought you knew...only to find that they are actually quite different. Most of that comes from a more simple fact...you didn't know how they acted or were before you met them. People change over time because of experiences and relationships with others. Sometimes the change is subtle...but either way there still is a change. So if anything...Yu was probably wondering when that something had changed. More than likely...he had already changed before he had ever come to Inaba. And that there was little to do to prevent Adachi from doing what he did. After all...Yu didn't know Adachi until after the first murder had already happened.

I know that in my case, it had taken me something drastic to get through to me, to give me a chance to change. If I hadn't been kidnapped...if I had never met the Investigation Team. I wonder...would I have ever gotten better? That was a question I had asked myself a few times recently, but ultimately it was pointless to waste time on 'what if' when I was clearly in a better place in my life. And who was to say what was better? Only a week ago I had been waking up on a bed after nearly a month of being in an odd coma. Life was certainly...unpredictable.

For the moment, the Investigation Team were lost in conversation in the dining room while Rise and I were cutting up some vegetables for the big pot of beef stew we were making. And I had ensured that we only got the necessary ingredients for the dinner and no extra additives that the girls seemed to be prone to doing. This seemed to alleviate concerns that Kanji, Yosuke and Yu had initially about the menu item of choice. I had mostly decided for stew because it was easy to make and wouldn't take much attention beyond prep work. Plus the kitchen at my house wasn't very big and I didn't want a lot of people in it...and I didn't want Yu in the kitchen either. He might enjoy the distraction, but I felt this was something he needed to think about and not avoid. Plus it gave me time to talk with Rise alone.

"I saw Miyuki again," I said softly as I was cutting up the last carrot. I had no intention of hiding anything from her, so it was best to just get it out of the way now.

"Huh? When?" Rise stopped what she was doing to talk to me. I suspected she may not like any mentions of Miyuki for a lot of reasons. It wasn't like I had ever had romantic feelings towards Miyuki...I had been way to young to think about that stuff.

"When I hit Ameno-sagiri with Symphonic Discord she used it to pull me in to the Velvet Room and explain some things to me. Ameno-sagiri had also been combined with our own Shadows...and I saw them in that place as well...a version of our Shadows at any rate. The Shadows were not as united as Ameno-sagiri was convinced they were. My ability causes each Shadows differences to become evident. It was much like when we had the two fake Shadows we encountered. They were still multiple Shadows...but they were combined through a single emotion instead of a cohesive unification," I sighed as I finished with the carrots and dumped it into the large pot that was now boiling. If I got it right then it wasn't really our Shadows...because we had our Personas. If anything they were thoughts we all shared...Even if we had our Persona it didn't mean the Shadow's stopped existing. No they were very much still a part of us...we were just no longer denying them. They were a part of us...as they should be.

"But that had happened so quickly...how is that even possible?" Rise was quick to question it.

"I guess it worked a lot like it did when I had been in the hospital," I had already explained what had happened then to Rise, and well, it was hard to dismiss anything when Persona's and Shadows existed. "If I had to wager a guess...it was the power of the Shadows that had pulled me in initially with them splitting there was likely a little bit of their power going a little crazy. That was why I had seen Shadows of all the Investigation Team first...but then it was after that in which Miyuki pulled me to the place she calls 'the Velvet Room' and talked to me there."

Rise didn't hide her displeasure about this from her face as she averted her eyes from me. "Yeah, what did she want?"

She was jealous...and that throws me off because I've never had anyone feel that way when it came to me. Still I choose to ignore it, "To say goodbye and things she hadn't been able to tell me before."

"Yeah...like what?" Rise was obviously sour about this.

"Look Rise...yes, Miyuki meant a lot to me. You've known that since before we even first talked to each other. But Rise...it was your voice that saved me..." I put the knife on the cutting board and walked up to her. I gently place my hand on her cheek so she would look up to me. "You're the one that I love."

"You loved her too," she said simply. I was okay with this, it was something that likely would come up eventually anyway.

I frowned, "I don't know that." I turned away from Rise...somewhat irritated that she was so affected by this. However, this was all unexplored territory for me, and likely for Rise as well. All I could do was give her the complete truth. "I was really young when I knew her...I didn't have any thoughts like that towards her. She was just an important friend...more like the only family that I had. She was my escape from my Uncle...I never thought about what she was to me beyond that. I know its kinda weird that I saw her again...but this whole thing with Persona and Shadows is crazy to begin with. I told her that I never knew how I felt about her and that I never would. She's gone Rise...regardless of what form she has now...she isn't alive. She may have saved me from my Uncle, but she hasn't been here after...she doesn't know what I went through after. You do...and you were there for me...but more than that. You didn't give up on me. I don't want you to think that I have some sort of lingering feelings of some sort to Miyuki. I'll always miss her, and I may think of her, but it is in no way the same way I think of you, of us."

Rise was behind me and she put her arms around me. "I'm sorry, Kayane. I didn't mean to sound that way...its just I'm still so happy you're here but things have happened so fast that I feel like I haven't been able to catch up. I didn't mean to imply anything...I'm just...afraid. I almost lost you once, Kayane. I can't bare the thought of coming anywhere close to that again."

It had been a roller coaster for all of them...but for Rise...she had to deal with seeing me day in and out...unsure if I would ever wake up again...and then I had died. I had died for about ten minutes...and in that time...a lot had occurred. I had my own fight within my mind and the Investigation Team...fought their desire to make someone pay for my death...not knowing that if they had...it would have sealed my fate. It isn't exactly a pleasant thought that if they had given in...it would have prevented me from being able to come back myself. There was so much we didn't know...and that was what scared me.

"We haven't had the time to talk about all of this. Adjust to what has happened," I went back to cutting the vegetables and then quickly put it into the pot, as we were just about done preparing it. All that was left was to let it cook. There was a lot I wanted to talk about...and my arm was shaking now. Probably because the way Rise had just embraced me...from a way I wasn't used to. Overall I felt my resistance against being touched had been significantly lifted since I came back...but that could also be related to my growth of power with Persona. If it was indeed related. Still it was a much more manageable reaction than before...and it only took me a moment to recover when I realized that it was Rise that had touched me.

"Kayane...you were dead. If there is anyone that understands that feeling when you learn that the most important person in the world is just not there anymore...its you. I broke, Kayane. No...that isn't quite right...the entire time you were on that bed...every small moment I had when you were awake...it slowly broke off a part of me every single time you fell back asleep. I cried...night after night. My parents yelled at me to leave you...I fought it every single day. But I wasn't alright...everyone saw that. I was not living anymore...my life revolved around you. I have never...never felt like this in my entire life. Nobody has ever had this strong of a grip on my heart...regardless of what has happened, I love you more than I could ever fully express. And that...that scares me, Kayane. It absolutely terrifies me," Rise was whispering with her arms still around me...a tight grip at my waist as she pressed herself against my back.

So that was the truth of it. It was less jealousy but fear...not of my feelings of Miyuki but of the possibility that seeing her meant I had been close to dying. And I did understand the feeling...I know because my Shadow in that world had proposed that very scenario...Rise dying. I couldn't even imagine that possibility. The mere thought made me sick to my stomach. Any steps forward I had made would disappear in an instant if she were to die. I sighed after a moment...these thoughts were destructive in nature. "We fought to get here...both of us. We had hard choices to make...and it isn't going to get easier. Life is full of a lot of challenges and trials but...I want to keep facing them."

"I know it might just be because of how things have happened lately and I know I can move past this...but right now...I just want to be close to you...I want to have time with just us and celebrate what we have right now. The case is finally closed...your life isn't in danger...our lives can go back to normal again. And we can make strides to our future...together. But I..." Rise wanted to be optimistic...but at the same time...she only wanted to indulge in the moment. She wanted to make sure she was here...that I was here. The case may have been closed...but there was too many unanswered questions for there to be any guarantee that the danger to my life...or anyone else's was over.

I turned around, forcing her to let go of me but I gently took her cheek and leaned down kissing her lips. After a moment I whispered, "We will have time, I promise. Starting tonight." I returned to finishing the last of the stew and setting the heat right to let it cook.

"Thanks, Kayane," Rise said from next to me.

"Well I'm pretty sure as your boyfriend I'm supposed to try and make you feel better," I said with a grin trying to lighten the mood. This brought a smile to her face.

"Well, I'll call that a success then. But I could use some more attention," she batted her eyes and stepped towards me...obviously trying to be somewhat...seductive in this instance.

"Later, Rise. Right now we have some guests and we should be with them celebrating what we've accomplished," I said and offered my hand to her. It would be some time before the stew would be ready to serve. Most of them were in the studio hanging out. So I led her down to the studio. It was an emotional night...after a fight like that and everything that had happened...how could it not be? But Rise and I...just needed time...right now it was hard for us both not to think about what we had nearly lost. The important thing we should be focused on is the very fact that we hadn't and they we were still here...very much alive. Now there was a future for both of us that we needed to face. One step at a time, I suppose.

"Senpai, its about time you showed yourself," Yu said as he came up with a smile on his face. I wanted to think he was just putting on a show for the others...that he was still affected by Adachi's behavior...and more than likely he was. However...he definitely looked legitimately happy. Well, he was likely going through a lot of different emotions based on everything that had happened. "You certainly like to take risks...and you haven't fully recovered yet, you know."

Yu was likely referring to me getting involved in the fight...or even going into the TV despite how little time it had been since I was officially released from the Hospital. I shrugged as I made my way over to the piano. "And you have gained some powerful Persona in my absence, I'm surprised you even needed any help."

"Powerful attacks aren't of any use if you don't get the opening to use them. I would never want to face this stuff alone," Yu admitted which probably threw everyone around them off guard for a moment. "I wouldn't have this power without everyone to begin with."

"And most of us wouldn't be here without you...so let's call it even," I said with a chuckle.

"Yu, relax," Yukiko was at his side.

"Yeah, partner. We found him, its over. Now...he has to face what he did," Yosuke was sitting on a chair on the other side of the room.

"Yeah, sorry. I guess a part of me still didn't want it to be true. I wanted to trust Adachi...that maybe somehow there was some reason behind it all. But I think I understand it in some small way. He had already lost himself before coming to Inaba. But I also want to believe that along the way when he spent time with me and the Dojima's that he also rediscovered a part of his old self..." Yu looked like he was struggling to find the right words here.

"I see...but he knew it was already too late for him because of what he had done. The only atonement was to get...caught," Naoto must have had a thought click in her head.

"So he sent the warning letters to tell us that there was someone else involved?" Chie blurted out which made the final piece that Yu was indicating to. Everyone seemed to understand it. "Oh geesh, did I do it again? You guys know I just say what pops into my head."

"No...I think you're right, Satonaka," I came to the conclusion in my interactions that Chie really needed to trust her gut instinct more. Her deductions were usually on the money but she had no confidence in herself.

"Oh I get it...the thing that really casted our suspicion elsewhere was because of the warning letters and how the vocabulary didn't match up with what the rest of what Namatame had said," Yosuke got to his feet. "Nice catch Satonaka."

Chie seemed to have a much more obvious blush after Yosuke had said that...

"Still even if Adachi had regretted his actions, he felt he wasn't able to come clean either...so the part of him that did feel regret made it easier to catch on to his involvement. However, there was also the side that felt it was fine what he did. If anything I feel like he was at war with himself and what he actually wanted," Naoto surmised her thoughts on it.

"In the end we still had to go after him and drag his ass back," Kanji added.

"He might have felt that there was no hope anyway...if we were all going to turn to Shadows. He might have believed that at the very least he could allow us to fight what we believed in...even if he felt that it was useless to do. Backed against a wall...knowing that Inaba itself was in danger...feeling guilty about what he had done...he probably didn't know what was it that he wanted to do. Instead he was enticed to follow a different end...one that very much appealed to him. Turning into a Shadow...then he would never have to worry about any of these problems ever again. These conundrums probably made him a bit crazy and then he figured that doing nothing was the best option available...and no one would suffer in the end...including him," I think along the way, Adachi no longer felt there was a right answer to the riddle he was faced with. So he took the easy way...and simply followed the flow of the Shadows plan...thinking that it would at the very least end all his problems. But we had shown him a different ending...one he hadn't considered to be an option. So it seemed like he had resigned to do whatever we decided. It was an odd sort of respect he showed to us after everything was over. He no longer fought...and no longer tried to push his point of view onto us.

"Regardless...it doesn't change the fact that two people died because of him," Yosuke said softly.

The motivations of one man had affected so many lives. Yet he had been lost himself quite a long time ago. I couldn't help but think about this as I moved towards the piano and sat in front of it. There was an easier way to shift the mood away from these thoughts at a time we should focus on celebrating. I started playing, something slower than usual. Something I had been working on and been writing in the mean time. It was a song I wrote for Rise and I, but she hadn't heard it yet. Still it was a good time to unveil it.

"The beginning I can't remember
My goal was to survive
I wish this was just a story
And that I didn't need pain to feel alive"

Unlike many of my other songs, this one kept a slow pace and emphasized the lyrics to a greater degree. Still when I had started to sing it had drew the attention of the Investigation Team, they all migrated more towards me and around the piano.

"And I never knew my mother or father
And I was never your son
I guess I'm just broken
I'm a shattered window
That can't be seen through"

A reference to my own past, my own pain that held truths to the life I had led. This song was to be a representation of the journey I had been making up until that point. It was hard not to write about such a personal experience when I had been living it. And the affects were such I could never just write them off. It was written as a duet...but as Rise had never seen it, I'd have to just sing both parts. But...when I went to sing, Rise was at my side and she sang the next part without any thing to reference to.

Rise: "You ignore the uneasiness in your heart
Sitting in the dark with solitude and pain
But tomorrow will keep on coming
Let me tell you, your story is far from its end
And you can't keep living alone
And your heart can't stay locked away
I won't let you
I won't let you do this alone anymore"

Her introduction of the song was exactly how I had seen her own introduction to my life. She knew about the things I had dealt with in the past. She became a stark contrast to everything I had known in my life...and the way she acted towards me was different than how anyone had treated me before. I can never forget the image of her crying when I had faced my Shadow. Her tears were not one of pity...but because she had truly been effected by what had happened in my life, and the secrets I had to admit to. She never let go of her pursuit of me since. Because she wanted to help me...to show me what life was like outside of the self destructive loop I had put myself in.

The music slowly begins to build up here as I sung the next part.

Me: "I can hear voices and decisions
Always talking in my head
Yet my choices and opinions
They will never be read

And I never knew my mother or father
And I was never your son
I'm guess I'm just broken

(Rise: You're not broken)
I'm a shattered window
That can't be seen through"

I can imagine that in the time I was in the hospital that Mom had brought Rise home with her. Knowing my Mom she had likely taken it upon herself to make sure that Rise took care of herself. In that time...it would not be unreasonable for her to find my notes...or the song sheets I had spread about in my room. Then...with help from my Mom...they played the song. Rise knew this song...she had memorized every word and note...I could feel it from how she sang with such confidence.

Rise: "Your heart can't stay locked away
And you don't need to stay in the past
You're not broken
I'll help you mend, day to day
So that the sun can shine through to you"

Me: "I don't want this to be just a story
What must I do, to feel alive?
Why are you always around me?
Why do you care who I am?"

My doubts and feelings always came back in all my interactions with Rise. Constant questions that lingered in my mind. Why me? She was Risette...pop idol and more than capable of getting any guy she wanted. And me...I was so messed up...just how much had I gone through to be able for us to do something as simple as hold hands? But even now those doubts were still there. I felt she deserved so much more...but Rise...she insisted the other way...that she was lucky to have me. I knew better now...I couldn't allow my doubts to hold me back.

The song builds up more as we enter the last couple verses of the song.

Rise: "Don't deny how you truly feel
We are not strangers, no more
It's time to open up
And let the sun shine through to you"

Rise and I: "All of this time I was not broken
My heart was just waiting for you
This is the start of our story
And we'll see this thing through
It might be hard, it might be rough
But Together the light of the sun will shine on us day to day"

There was still a lot I was learning, about Rise and especially myself. It wasn't going to be an easy road to travel. And it shouldn't be. A relationship is never perfect...there will be problems, trials and forces that work against us. My anxiety issues will make us going into the music industry hard. Public appearances and concerts were going to be huge hurdles for me to get past. And I could still feel the lingering resistance against Rise's touch that I feel would always be there even if I sought out that comfort myself. It would take time...probably lots of it...but I would continue to progress forward...and hopefully continue to have Rise at my side to support me.

The Investigation Team applauded as I finished playing the song. I looked at Rise and she looked like to have a mixture of guilt and also wanting to know my reaction to her being able to sing the song.

"You two always sound amazing together," Yukiko said, staying close to Yu and holding him in her arms. Yu definitely looked more relaxed than he had a minute ago.

"Oh we have quite a bit of work to do though, considering that it was the first time we had ever sang this particular song together," I declared with an amused chuckle. "Seems like my Girlfriend and Mother have been going through my stuff while I was on a hospital bed."

Rise's face went red. The others must have realized I hadn't actually showed this song to Rise yet.

"Well, you were in a coma," Kanji said blankly.

Good to know Kanji was as brash as ever. "I had just wanted to be there to see her reaction when she first heard the song," I shook my head. "I guess its been so crazy and I doubt Rise has brought it up. So there is a bit of an announcement I wanted to make."

She looked over at me, "Yeah...I wanted to announce it together."

"I'll tell you that Nanako hasn't actually known about this for quite a while...over a month," I chuckled to give them the time frame it has been since we had come to the decision. The truth about when I wrote the song was a bit more complicated...I had started writing it quite a long time ago. Well in reality it still hadn't been that long since I had met everyone. But the events that had happened made everything seem so much longer. A part of me felt like I had always known the members of the Investigation Team. And Rise...I felt I had known all my life. It was odd to have these kinds of feelings but it didn't make it any less real to me.

"Well don't keep us in suspense, what is it?" Chie was eager to know.

"Rise will be returning to the music industry...with me. We'll be releasing our own album, together," I said which had everyone in the room breakout in smiles.

"Really? You guys are going to perform together? Professionally?" Yosuke nodded more to himself. "This is awesome."

"So that's why Nanako seemed so adamant to keep it a secret. She said it was super important that she had to keep it," Yu smiled. I guess that means I owed Nanako-chan one. "I think she wanted to be there when you told everyone though." I frowned...now I owed her double.

"So both of you? How will that work with Rise's agency?" Kanji asked the question that was probably our biggest hurdle.

"Yeah, technically Rise is still under contract with Takura Productions but Mom has some pull and is going to position herself as our Manager and ensure that no company has the rights to the music we create. It will take some creative negotiations on Mom's part. Convincing someone that it is a good idea to let go of one of their top talents is impossible. Right now, despite Rise's exit of the idol scene they are using it to vault up their rising star Kanamin," as I started to explain I realized I was being way too detailed than I needed to be.

"So nothing is really set in stone right now, but that is our intention," Rise said as she met eyes with me as she reached out to let me know she was taking my arm. As she took it I did shake a bit and felt that familiar urge to pull away. But that was soon replaced by relief and comfort as if my body took a moment to realize who it was that had touched me. It was like Rise had a high level security clearance. I was starting to think that I would not react this way to anyone else but her...well and Mom, but I had never reacted that way with her to begin with.

"Yeah, I don't want to get too technical but there are some hurdles we have to get over. Anyway...this song is tentatively called 'Shattered Window' and I mean tentative because I didn't have much time to think about it. It was really just something I had been writing off and on..." I shrugged there wasn't much to explain about where the song had come from.

"You started it back when we were rehearsing for the Culture Festival," Rise said...it wasn't much of a question. "Sorry...remember the night of the thunderstorm? I might have seen some of what you were writing in your notebook..."

"Really? They were horrible scribbles at that point," I scratched my head. It really wasn't big of a deal to me. I didn't know what I was going to do with what I had written anyway.

"Senpai, You have an amazing talent," Kanji said.

"Isn't this supposed to be a celebration?" I nudged Rise. I didn't mind talking about it, but there would be plenty of time for that.

"That's right!" Rise stepped away from me with her usual amazing smile. "How about a song we can all sing?"

"Or we can just play a game or something..."

The serious atmosphere of the Investigation Team finally had eased. Maybe now they could enjoy what they had accomplished. I mean there was still a lot ahead of us...but there wasn't a killer on the loose. Even if there was still questions left...the threat to Inaba was gone. What came next was a mystery...especially to me. Pushing into the music industry and maybe getting some time to know all of my friends. It took a lot of struggles to get here...but I knew more than most that it was far from over.


December 20th, 2011 / After School
Yasogami High School Classroom 3-2

Things had certainly been a roller coaster...but it was nice to have some sort of normalcy return to my life. And have to worry about something much more...mundane. School. My absence had once again put me behind the rest of my class. I wasn't too concerned about it because I had a tendency to study more than most of them, but a month is a long time to miss school...and with finals coming up it became that much harder. I suppose it was a good thing that we captured Adachi because I really needed to buckle down on school as it was only a couple months or so until I graduated.

"Still studying Ikakure-san?"

I looked up to see the girl Ichide Tsubasa in front of me. She had dark brown hair and brown eyes and had made a point to talk to me ever since I had returned. Also her friend Mitsuragi Saya was close by. I felt I was about to have to dodge them yet again. If it had been the old me then I would have just ignored them...but I couldn't keep being that way with the plans I had for my future. Diving into the music world meant a lot of talking with people I didn't know and weren't comfortable with...I needed to be able to talk to my classmates at the very least.

"Yes, we don't have much time before finals and there are college entry exams to worry about too," I commented as I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and noticed it was a message from Yu. 'Free today?' A simple question. I really should focus on my studies, but I would also have more time and privacy back at home too.

"Um...Ikakure-san we wanted to talk to you," Saya spoke softly. I looked over to them and found myself baffled as to what they would even want to talk about.

Tsubasa giggled at my confusion, "Don't worry it's nothing weird." Tsubasa looked over to Saya. "Ready?"

The two girls then both bowed to me, "We're sorry." They said in unison.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" I asked...it wasn't like they had ever done anything worth apologizing for.

"The three of us have been classmates for a long time...ever since middle school. Saya-chan and I have never once tried to talk to you...and we bought in to a lot of the rumors and other stuff that was said about you...so we never tried to know you," Tsubasa said as she slowly raised her head along with Saya.

"When Risette asked about you, when you were missing, we realized that...you never talked to anyone...and we were part of the problem too. Risette is a couple years younger than you and us but she cared more than we did. We thought about you after that and realized we didn't know anything about you. And when we saw you perform at the Culture Festival...I think that was more than enough to show us how big of a mistake its been to not talk to you." Saya did a good share of the talking...which for the most part I had only seen Tsubasa be the more vocal of the two. Then again I didn't really know either of them.

I shook my head, "It wouldn't have mattered. It wasn't til recently that I...had a breakthrough of sorts. I would have ignored you...or something else to make you not talk to me. Things have been differently lately though."

"It still doesn't excuse the fact that in all these years we never tried to talk to you. Regardless of the outcome, we never tried," Tsubasa shook her head.

I didn't react to it...I wasn't sure how I would if I did. For years I spent time excluding myself from others...to the point that people wouldn't even bother talking to me. But how much did they know about me? "Did you hear what happened in the past? I'm sure there are a few rumors about me still going around about it in Middle School. I had made national news at one point."

"I remember," Saya was the one that spoke. "Your Uncle was arrested for child abuse and neglect. And you were also a key witness in the case of a girls death. You must have been close to her."

I was surprised she knew that much...or rather remembered it considering how long ago that had been. "I was," I said simply as I started gathering up my notes to put in my bag.

"Saya-chan, you never told me that," Tsubasa looked over to her.

"I'm a coward...if I didn't have Tsubasa-chan with me then I would probably never talk to anyone. I wanted to talk to you a long time ago, Ikakure...because I went through something similar when I stayed with my Uncle. Fortunately for me...I was only with my Uncle a few months before my parents came and took me back. I was lucky...and nothing I say can ever..." Saya was telling me something incredibly personal and something that was no doubt hard for her to do.

"It's fine Mitsuragi-san. We both know how hard it is to talk about things like that," I collected more of my notes and neatly placed them in a stack on my books before placing it all in my backpack. She looked to ease up a bit when I said this. I got to my feet and wondered exactly what I should say. "I'm kind of busy today but I wouldn't mind spending time with you guys later. If that isn't a problem."

Both of them shook their head, "We'll look forward to it."

I didn't linger and simply gave them a wave for a farewell and left. So Saya had also suffered abuse for a time...that isn't something I would wish on to anyone, that was for sure. Well it connected with what Rise had told me a long time ago about the seniors she had asked about me. I know a lot of people had started talking to me after my performance at the Culture Festival. This had been different though...it had started with an apology...something that had definitely thrown me off. And Saya...she seemed like she had a lot more she wanted to say.

As I walked down to the shoe lockers I pulled out my phone and called Yu. It was only a moment before he picked up, "Where should I be heading to, exactly? And what is this all about?"

"You may remember her, Marie-san. She hasn't been around in a while but I figured it would be a good time to hang out with everyone. Plus the last time you saw her...you were in a hospital bed," Yu didn't waste time getting to the point. I definitely appreciated that part of him.

"Marie-san? She visited me then...I think I remember," as I said it I was searching the blur of memories I had from that time. That's right...she did visit. I didn't remember anything of what we might have talked about...I just remember the hat she had on. "Where at? I'll head there now."

"We'll be at Junes Food Court," Yu said and after a moment and a quick farewell, I hung up.

Things had changed...that was definitely the thoughts that came to my head over and over again as we went through every day. I walked out the front of the school and was greeted by the number one thing that had affected my life, Kujikawa Rise.

"Senpai," she grinned and bounced next to me. "Did you get the message?"

"From Yu?" I asked to which she simply nodded an affirmation. "Yeah, I just got off the phone with him. I guess were meeting up with Marie-san? I know she visited me in the hospital but I don't really remember it. I only remember certain things in that time frame." One of them being Rise and her confession to me while I was unable to respond. Definitely not something I could ever forget.

"She's interesting," Rise giggled, probably thinking about past experiences with the girl. Getting to Junes didn't take too long regardless of where you were in town. From the school it was about a fifteen to twenty minute walk though. "She was worried about you too. She's pretty close to Yu-senpai so she wanted you to get better. Said something about wanting a chance to know all of his friends."

I nodded. I remembered her saying something vaguely to that effect from before. But it felt like it happened a long time ago. I guess being in a coma can screw up your sense of time. Never mind the fact that I literally did lose time and was spending most of my free time studying and catching up on school work. But because of what had happened...everyone had been incredibly understanding and...friendly. Even classmates that never talked to me had reached out to do so. Yeah...things were changing more every day. I decided it was best to change the subject for now. "Mom says you need to come over tonight. It's about our future. Its kind of a vague way to put it but thats how she said it."

"Alright, I was going to ask to come over tonight anyway," she slowly took my arm, which I for once didn't react to. "I know your Mom was saying she was going to work a deal with my agency...but I'm starting to think this may be harder than we realize."

"Well, more than likely the final deal will have to be done with all of us present. And we'll probably need a lawyer to make sure that the terms of the agreement are fair for all parties...but I think we can do this. Mom does have some pull in this," I knew Mom was smart...but the only way she would get to where she is now is by being able to negotiate effectively. I doubt anyone supported her moving out to Inaba while still doing her job. She made it more than work though.

"I'm not doubting that...I just don't know if Takura Productions will agree to anything that is not favorable to them. They'll want to come out on top of this, especially since I was there top idol. They'll see it as losing money on something they helped make," Rise sighed and gripped my arm a bit tighter as we continued walking. "I could end up having to go back to the end of my contract before we could go forward with this..."

And from the sound of it...it wasn't something she wanted to do...her heart wouldn't be in that. "Don't worry about it...we can talk all about that tonight when we get home. We'll do this...one step at a time." These were all points that my Mom and I had talked about without Rise, because we knew it would be concerns for her. Plus these would also have to be terms that her parents would agree to. Which also meant meeting with them in order to finish any potential deal we make. We did have a lot of things to overcome, but I knew that was really a small hurdle compared to the step after that.

We found ourselves at Junes in quick fashion and I tried to soothe her obvious trepidation about or situation when it came to our future. Hmm...it was something I wasn't sure I would ever worry about...much less having to assure someone else that it would all work out. I guess that just showed just how much I had changed in the time that had gone by. At one point I had simply lived day to day...not even caring about anything else or what I would do in my future. It had never been important to me. Yet here I was...going into the music industry and planning to perform...for a living. Yeah...it wasn't going to be easy.

Arriving at the food court we found the others sitting in the usual spot...along with Marie. She wore mostly blue and black...the most distinguishing feature being her hat and the golden 'V' that was on it.

"Here he is. You remember him, Marie-san. This is Ikakure Kayane, my senpai," Yu introduced me.

"Well last time I was hardly in a position to introduce myself," I moved forward to her. "Nice to meet you again, Marie-san. Thank you for visiting me when I was in the hospital." I extended my hand towards her.

She shook it somewhat tentatively and eyed me. "So it looks like you made it then." Marie said which made everyone look confused by the statement.

"Yeah, wasn't that easy though," I chuckled. I had a feeling that there was more meaning in that statement then what could be seen on the surface. She was in all blue...and I could clearly remember how Miyuki had been dressed in that place...the Velvet Room. Could Marie be connected to it? I mean it would explain her knowledge about the struggle I had. She had also stated then...that I had been targeted by someone. It was a lingering thought I had...knowing that while the murders had been solved...there was still that mystery as well as the Shadows Rise and I had faced before as well. There was still a lot we didn't understand. However right now I saw something different in her eyes...her demeanor seemed off to me...it contradicted what her eyes were giving off...at least to me.

After letting go of her hand I redirected the conversation, "So what's the plan today?"

"Well its why we were waiting for you. I wanted to show her something different today and so I wanted to ask if..." Yu started but I raised a hand to stop him. I knew where this was going.

"You want her to see my place and hear what Rise and I have been working on...right?" I couldn't help but laugh. "I don't mind, but we don't have anything new. Been focused more on getting caught up at school." A thought crossed my mind, "Maybe you guys could play what you performed at Junes. I was missing during that time after all...so I never got to see it."

The whole Investigation Team was suddenly alarmed.

"Wait, what? Again? I mean, I don't think I even remember any of that shit," Kanji grumbled scratching his head.

"That performance wasn't that good...I mean most of us were worried about you at the time," Chie added.

That's right...while they were practicing for the performance at Junes they had also been investigating me and trying to find out who I was. Unfortunately it wasn't until after I had disappeared where they were finally able to lock down my identity. Still Rise had made the initial observation on a program based on trouble teens...where apparently I had been used as a prime example based purely on the gothic clothing I had been wearing. Well...stereotypes exist everywhere and while I wasn't about to go cause trouble for people...I was more of a trouble to myself. Not that programs like that cared about individual people.

"Maybe I just don't want Rise and I to be the only ones singing for once," I chuckled.

"I got an idea," Yosuke grinned. "An it would be a lot of fun. Of course, Ikakure-senpai would have to be okay with it."

I furrowed my eyebrows before looking at him. "And what is that?"

"A sleepover at your place. I mean, you have lots of room, the guys can stay in the music room and the..."

"...the girls could stay in the guest room," Rise finished. "We have to get the okay from Nanase-san first. What do you think Kayane?"

"I don't think Mom would have any objections, but lets take a vote then...all in favor..." I said but before I finished everyone had raised their hands. I sighed and took out my phone. "Alright give me a couple minutes to ask before you all get crazy ideas in your heads." I turned and walked away from them, with Rise staying by my side. I pulled up Mom's number and dialed it. It was only a couple moments later before she picked up.

"Kay-chan?"

"Hey, Mom. I got a weird request...but is it alright if my friends stayed over at the house?" I quickly asked.

"Isn't it a school night?" she replied back.

That was a good point, "Well that is a good point..."

"It has to be tonight," Yu said as he appeared on my side. "Marie won't have another chance."

I nodded, "It's like a going away party for a friend. She won't be able to past tonight."

"Well then its fine by me. You'll want to pick up something for dinner then. And I have something important to talk about with you and Rise-chan when you get home so make sure she's with you," Mom didn't even put up a fight against it. "Tell the guys to bring sleeping bags, I should have enough futons for all the girls though."

"Alright Mom, I'll be heading home soon then. Love you," I said.

"Love you too, son. See you soon," Mom said and I ended the call.

Slipping my phone back in my pocket I looked to Yu, "It's set."

"Are we good to go?" Yosuke approached with the others not far behind him.

I nodded, "Yep you can all stay over tonight. So be there by 6:30. The guys should bring sleeping bags, and bring everything you need because we still have school to go to tomorrow. And plus you all need to make sure your parents will even let you."

"Not a problem...after all this is the last time we'll see Marie for a while, right?" Yosuke said with his usual smile. I wondered exactly what he had in mind other than the sleepover though.

"Alright, well Rise and I need to head over, so you guys better go grab your stuff and let me know if you can't make it," I added. They all nodded and after a few moments we split up.

"This will be...interesting," Rise commented from my side.

"Yeah..." I said absently as my thoughts already started shifting away from this event...now it was about this important topic that Mom needed to talk to us about. I knew what it was going to be about...it was what was going to be said that was worrying me.


December 20th, 2011 / Early Evening
Kayane's House

Rise and I had quickly stopped by Junes to grab something to make for dinner. Making something for the whole group can get someone difficult depending on the complexity, but often time I grab something simple. But I also wanted it to be something a bit different, so I settled on making spaghetti. It was still simple, but you could make a lot of it, and it was something that was rarely had around here. Well...noodles was one thing, but this was different. I was a fan of Italian food so that was also a reason why I knew how to make it. I just hope it was good enough for everyone else.

I was setting everything up in preparation as both Rise and my Mom stepped into the kitchen.

"We should talk now before everyone gets here. It's about Rise-chan's agency," Mom said.

I stopped what I was doing and moved to Rise's side, taking her hand in mine. "So what is it?"

"I talked with a few contacts about renegotiating Rise's contract with Takura Productions...and possibly removing her from the company completely. I don't think that is going to be one hundred percent possible, but...they are very open about her performing with you," She was saying it mostly to me. But Rise was somewhat tense next to me. "They want to talk about it more in person, naturally. But I also got into contact with a Producer friend of mine. She said there is an event she is planning that could work as a good launching stage for the change in Rise-chan's career. It's called the Love Meets Bonds Festival. It is still some time away, so we would have to work pretty hard over winter break to try and finish all the tracks for your album so we can move to rehearsal, getting a band and all of those details figured out."

"So...we can move forward with it?" Rise asked tentatively. She had been worried it would be stopped.

Mom nodded, "Absolutely. I talked with your old agent, Inoue-san. He believes it would work after I showed him a few of the tracks you two have done. He also wanted to tell me how happy he was to see you enjoy singing again. And that he'll support you in any way he can."

"Inoue-san...said that?" Rise sounded like she didn't believe it.

"However, changes to your contract and everything else will have to be approved by your parents and the agency and all the parties involved. Also...I would like to be both of your agents and manager," Mom said...which I had already guessed she would do.

"Of course," Rise nodded. "I couldn't imagine Kayane and I doing this without you."

"I just want to be in a position to control appearances to the public. I can't let companies keep the two of you as busy as they made you in the past. Kay-chan just isn't able to do that. Plus they'll want to separate the two of you for certain appearances and...well I don't feel comfortable having anyone else doing it," Mom explained with a sigh.

Yeah...it was a hurdle we would have come across and might have made and likely break our chance of popularity. My anxiety problems weren't gone...and I just had to take time to find a way to make it work. Performances was going to be rough. "Thanks Mom...I feel a lot better knowing that you'll be there. But really you already have us lined up for our first performance?"

"That is a ways off and we have a lot of work to do in order to get there but thats the plan. So Rise-chan, I took the liberty of contacting your parents and some executives of Takura Productions where I will line out my plan for the future of both of your immediate careers. Well and I invited some lawyers as well to ensure the terms of my contract are fair to all parties involved," Mom said this all off handedly but she had dealt with contracts before.

"You know, Rise, Mom used to be a manager before she moved into the Production and other side of things that she does now...so I'm pretty sure they'll listen to her. And she'll explain everything when we get to that point," I said as I noticed there were questions forming in Rise's eyes.

"I know...but getting my parents and the agency to agree?" Rise sighed.

"You're only a couple years from being an adult...so this contract is also important to ensure an easy transition. And so that no one individual has more pull over you in your life. I hope you don't mind, but Inoue-san sent me a copy of your current contract and your Parents have too much control over the money you make. It was fine when you were younger, but now your older and are more than capable of managing your finances. Plus you don't even live with your Parents which means they shouldn't be receiving any of your income, but part should go to your Grandmother, who you have been living with. There is a lot that needs to be changed, so I've been working with lawyers to draw up individual contracts for both you and Kay-chan," Mom explained it without going too into detail on it. Rise looked completely unsure of what to say. "Look...I saw your relationship with your parents, Rise-chan. When you stayed with Kay-chan when he was in the Hospital...I am not blind when I see parents taking advantage of their child's success. I've been in this industry a long time, after all. I owe you more than you know for how you've helped Kay-chan. Thanks to you...he's smiling...he's happy and most of all...he's still alive. I just know if you hadn't been here for him...he might not have ever woken up. And I want to make sure that both of you do what you love on your own terms that you agree to. I'm not going to let them exploit the two of you and burn you out."

Rise intertwined her fingers with mine, "I couldn't be happier to hear that. I was worried how it would work with the two of us...and I know Kayane would have a lot of trouble if our schedule was as crazy as mine used to be. And I like the thought of having fewer appearances...making the ones we do have significantly more meaning."

"We'll do this one step at a time," I added squeezing her hand. "And at our pace, not someone else's."

The doorbell rang bringing us back to the present. I hadn't realized time had gone so fast. But it usually did with Rise around.

"Looks like your friends are starting to show up. I'll show them in...you two handle dinner," Mom said before leaving the kitchen.

I turned back to the kitchen area and broke from Rise to start up preparations again.

"Everything is changing...and...I've never been so excited for it before. And nervous of what could happen before we get there," Rise said softly.

"Yeah, me too," I agreed as I focused my attention on dinner. Yeah...there was a lot that could go wrong along the way. More than I could even count...but that wasn't okay. For once I was confident this would work out regardless of how hard it might become. Mom had set up everything they needed to ensure it would go right. For now it was time to focus on tonight. And just for a little bit...maybe we could forget about the oncoming problems and decisions we would be making about the future.


A/N:

Not knowing what comes ahead is terrifying. And for a lot of people it can be even more so. Kayane's Mom is more than well aware of her son's hesitance for certain things but again...so she covers everything she can think of as a means to relax Kayane's mind and Rise's. But that will be covered more extensively in the later chapters. This chapter is more about reflection before moving on.

It's said that in order to move forward, you have to know where you come from. I can understand the reasoning behind that, but I'm not convinced it is completely true. Just the same as knowing your history or being doomed to repeat it. It's the story of humanity in a way. We fight and wage wars over things that maybe we should have learned better about. But that isn't always the main reason why. People in power fight to stay in power, so what can you do when that power is about to deem your existence unneeded? Probably what always interested me about Adachi and his whole dynamic is how much did he know about what was going to happen? If he knew about it much earlier on...then maybe that was why he became so careless. It seemed like him getting caught only happened because he got careless. Or rather it didn't matter if he got caught anymore. Either way it still felt really...weird to me. I'm sorry but I don't buy the whole being bored or trying to setup the Investigation Team up to fail as a means of continuing on with his 'fun'. Especially with how Atlus tries to somehow redeem him afterwards. You can't go from I did it for the evilz to I'm going to accept my punishment because I was once an okay guy and I can try to be that again. It just throws me off because that is how it feels to me. Golden at leas went a few steps in trying to remedy this by making him a social link, where there could conceivably be growth and a means to make it seem more natural in how it all plays out. It does help...but honestly it still feels weird.

Maybe it's just weird to me. I know a lot of people like Adachi, for one reason or another...so why don't you guys tell me what you think? Let me know how you feel about Adachi's character arc. It makes me curious since I will be covering Ultimax which means he'll be making another appearance in the fan fic eventually. So I am interested in what you guys think. Also if you got questions feel free to leave them and I'll start addressing them (either through PM's or maybe at the beginning of chapters depending on what you guys prefer) Let me know what you think. Anyway I will see you all next week with the next chapter.