Chapter 22 / Crawl
December 20th, 2011 / Evening
Kayane's House
We were all in the music room after finishing up dinner. It seemed like everyone enjoyed it and thankfully Rise had become more relaxed and back to her usual self in no time since our discussion with my Mom. It was still too early to tell everyone else about the whole ordeal as Rise and I had agreed before to only tell them after things were solidified. Things looked up and we were on the road to everything working out good for us...but nothing was final until we had agreed on our contracts and signed them. Right now we were looking at Yosuke as he had came up with an idea for what we should do, but he hadn't shared with anyone what that plan was.
"You're not planning on us playing King's Game are you?" I asked.
"Not exactly," Yosuke said which had everyone a bit worried. "Besides, that didn't really go well the last time."
"Something you guys played before?" my eyebrow went up and judging by their reactions they clearly had in some capacity. I'm sure there was definitely a story or two to be had about it.
"I still don't remember what happened though," Yukiko somewhat pouted next to Yu.
"So what are we playing then?" Rise asked. And seemed to be in a rush for the subject to be changed. I wonder why that was.
"Truth or Dare," Yosuke said proudly. Not the worst selection...but was more or less a much less randomized version of the King's Game. "I figured it could be fun. And you could get people to sing if they pick dare."
"So maybe we should call it Truth or Sing," I laughed. "Well I guess that would be an easy out for Rise and I though." Though asking us to sing might just be them wanting to get us to play one of our songs we haven't shown them yet.
"Maybe Yosuke is trying to find an easy way to learn things about us," Yu seemed somewhat amused by the idea. "It could be fun...I mean we spend time investigating the murders that we hardly had the chance to really get to know each other."
"Alright, so how does this work exactly?" Kanji asked.
"It's like Yosuke said. It's similar to Kings Game, but whoever is it selects someone at random and then asks them Truth or Dare. Saying Truth means that he asks you a question and you have to answer it. If you say Dare then he gets to select a challenge you have to do, and is usually embarrassing is some way," Yu explained it more than likely worried that it might be explained in a way to put them at ease.
"Alright a couple of addendum's so people are a little more comfortable with this," Yosuke chimed in. "You get one pass for Truth and one pass for Dare. So if it is something you really aren't comfortable with...then you get a freebie pass. But the next time around you won't have that pass and you'll have to answer or do whatever you are asked. So you'll have to be careful what you pass."
"Okay, in that case someone can't be picked again until everyone has been picked once," I added. "And no repeating dares to other people. Just because someone passes a dare doesn't mean you can spring it on them when they can't avoid it." Just laying down the groundwork so no one gets screwed over.
"So does that same person ask everyone or something?" Chie asked.
"No, once someone is asked Truth or Dare, then they become the one to ask the next person after them," Yosuke clarified. "And since this is Senpai's house, I think he should go first."
"Me?" I gave him a look. I shrugged. "What about Marie-san? She's the reason we're doing this right?"
"Good point," Yu nodded. "Marie, why don't you start?"
"Huh? Why? I don't know what to do, you start it, stupid," Marie quickly brushed it off. Yu chuckled but it just made Marie irritated. "Don't laugh at me, idiot."
"Alright...hmm," Yu took his time looking at everyone in the room. He seemed to consider his options before settling his eyes on Chie. "Satonaka...Truth or Dare?"
"Aw...why me?" she grumbled. "Umm...umm...truth? Yeah, Truth. Ask me anything."
"What is...the most embarrassing thing that happened to you that no one here knows about?" Yu asked with a grin.
"That...um...no one knows about?" Chie was definitely not looking forward to answering this question. "Oh God...I don't know...give me a minute." Chie was definitely trying to think about this one. Well if it was something no one else had seen then it might be more difficult since she and Yukiko had been childhood friends. At least that was how it came off to me. "Um...one of my teachers when I was young mistook me for a boy for months. What was embarrassing was that I didn't realize it until one day in the middle of class...and well...you guys know how I just speak the first thing that pops in my head. I called my teach an idiot, and apparently it got back to my parents and somehow the teachers idiotic misconception led to me being grounded for a week."
Everyone chuckled but Yosuke laughed the loudest. "I can totally see that happening," he commented.
"If you're going to be that way, then your up next. Truth or Dare, Hanamura?" Chie said with her usual I'm irritated at Yosuke look on her face. It was funny how well the two got along...they always teased each other. Well they argued a lot but it never made them angry at each other...but it seemed to me like the two were in a perpetual stalemate. Like maybe the two of them didn't know which direction they wanted to go with their relationship. The two got along great together, so if they ever got into a more serious relationship beyond friendship, I doubt anyone would be surprised by it. It was obvious the two had never talked about it. And maybe neither of them even saw it as an option. Maybe I was just reading far too into what I saw between them. I certainly was no expert on the subject of relationships.
Yosuke frowned, "Oh man...I think I'm screwed no matter which one I pick here. Man...I hope I don't regret this. I'm going to go with Dare."
Chie grinned, "Don't worry, I won't make you do anything crazy." She said that but she still laughed manically as if she had won the lottery, "But you have to stand up and sing I'm a little teapot with all of the movements!"
"Oh! Nice call, Chie," Yukiko was nodding in agreement with the decision for Yosuke's dare.
"And if you don't do it properly you'll just have to do it again," Chie quickly added folding her arms and giving him a smug look.
"Ah, damn. Should have gone with truth," Yosuke groaned as he got up to his feet. Honestly she did let him off pretty easy with this one. Still embarrassing but not as bad as it could have been, that was for sure.
"Now assume the position," Chie demanded. Yosuke rolled his eyes but did so all the same.
Yosuke then did a full rendition of 'I'm a little teapot' and had to do it twice because he weakly did the motions on his first try. Chie, of course, waited til he was nearly done to force him to start again. Everyone in the Investigation Team was laughing, me included. After finishing he sat back down, "Guess that is what I get for asking dare. Alright then, Ikakure-senpai. Truth or Dare?"
Me? Already? Well I didn't care to be active at anything...and it wasn't like they all didn't know about the worst of me...so I took a safer route. "Okay, I choose Truth."
"Well, Senpai. Some people already know but remember the conversation we had a long time ago? You invited us over, and we only heard part of the story. You said music was part of what helped you, but you also indicated that there was a person behind it. Can you elaborate on it for everyone?" Yosuke's question threw me. But I realized that everyone, Rise included, only knew a portion of why the song 'Star Bright' had affected me so much. I didn't mind telling them this story...there had just never been a reason to elaborate on the subject.
I closed my eyes for a moment, "So you want the full story? Its something I haven't even told Rise about. It's because it feels, weird in a way. I fell in love with her voice long before I met her. Hmm, maybe not love but I was certainly enthralled with the sound and how pleasant it was for me to hear. The song she submitted for final review before they green-lit her to become an idol is called 'Star Bright'. My Mom was one of the few asked to listen and do a thorough review of it. The time it came in was also not long after my failed suicide attempt. If anything, I would describe that point in my life as the time I had the lowest opinion of myself. I had failed at ending my own life and finally realized that my Mom truly cared for me. Of course, she always had I was just so self absorbed in my own suffering that I didn't notice it. And for all intents and purposes, it wasn't like I had gotten better. The only change is that I had determined to live, if only for Mom and to never make her worried about me ever again. I personally didn't have anything else that I cared to live for, nothing that I felt was worth living for. No goals or aspirations. That's how it was before the song showed up."
Rise was next to me and gently took my arm, I opened my eyes and looked to her. "Little did I know, that a song would change me. Not completely, but it was a start. When Mom received the track she did listen to it first. Instead of analyzing it like she usually did, she instead came to me. You see my Mom is actually very technical in her reviews and she understood that a girls start of a career was dependent on it, so she wanted a different opinion. She came to me with the song and asked me for a favor. She wanted me to listen to the song and then write up what the song made me feel when I heard it. At the time I felt incredibly guilty for what I had put her through, and there was no way I was going to refuse her."
"So you listened to it for your Mother?" Marie asked, speaking for the first time in a while. "Yu-san told me about some of your other problems, like your suicide attempt and cutting. Your motivation beyond that was to live...to not let your Mom suffer?"
I nodded. I knew she was clarifying facts with me because she had heard most things about me second hand. I didn't care that they knew about it. They had seen things I kept hidden for so long after all. "Yeah it had been a bit of a wake-up call. I took the song to the music room and listened to it. And I don't think I can ever properly express what I felt then. The lyrics refer to the singer as a guiding light. That regardless of the dark and troubled times you face that she would always be the light to help people find their way. Part of it might have been timing, but the lyrics, music and lastly Rise's voice tore right through all of my barriers and for the first time I felt something. Or what must have been an incredibly long time. And for once it was something that wasn't self destructive. I listened to it again and again as I wrote everything I felt about it. I de-constructed the lyrics, researched other meanings the words would have. I was insanely driven to know every nuance of that song. When I was done I had written several pages of it. And I still feel to this day that it didn't accurately describe what I felt then."
"That review...I read it so many times. It described so intimately how the song moved them. You know he told me just before he fell into that coma. I was mad about it for a while too, because I wanted to ask know why he never told me," Rise spoke up from next to me and I felt nervous because I really still hadn't talked about it. Even since I had recovered. "But I think I know him well enough now to understand why he didn't. He didn't want it to be known to me that he had been so influential to the start of my career. Probably because he believed I wouldn't respect or admire his Mom anymore." She glanced over at me with a smile, "Which by the way is completely un-true. While you were in the coma she went over that review with me and pointed out all the things that she had changed. She had to add a more technical part which comprised of the composition of the song and some things that had to do more with the music and not really me but for the most part, the majority of the words in that final review were all from Kayane. And then Nanase-san told me she had personally pushed for my career, because I was the first one to ever motivate him. And yet I had never seen him, never knew about him even after I had been green lit to be an idol. It could have been very easy for us to have never even met."
Well that was true for everyone here. Some of us had lived in the same town for several years but never saw each other. Then again I had by the nature of who I had been before we had all met, had avoided contact with others. Even if we had ran into each other I doubt we would have become friends. But this was about how things had started to change for me. I gave a shrug as everyone looked back to me. "It was a step forward, but it wasn't quite enough to make me fully take steps out of my shell. It got me actively playing music again and writing songs." I didn't care to get too detailed about it all. Still I wasn't really trying to hide it. "That was a couple years ago, but I never really pushed myself to do more than just listen and create music. I had never really thought of doing so professionally, although Mom has always been bugging me about it for quite a long time. She's always believed it was a good option for me to explore."
"But even with everything that happened then, you still didn't value your life," Marie said this bluntly, which seemed to be somewhat normal for her, at least when it came to talking to me. I went to respond but Marie looked introspective and it made me stop. She was the one to speak again, "So...that's what makes you special." She suddenly got to her feet. "Don't give up, no matter how hard it gets." The tone in her voice grabbed my attention and seemed to halt the whole group. "I have to use the bathroom, excuse me." Marie then made a quick exit.
I watched her leave and felt myself completely baffled. She knew something, and she also didn't want to say anything about it. It felt like she got up and left as a means of preventing herself from saying something more. "Yu, is she usually this way?"
"No. Well, it is normal for her to speak her mind. And she does have a unique perspective. She might not know the best way to express what she is feeling though," Yu definitely sounded concerned. And clearly knew more about Marie than he was letting on. That didn't really concern me though.
"I'll go make sure Marie-chan is okay," Yukiko got to her feet.
"Me too," Rise got up and the two of them left.
I sighed. I wondered what had brought Marie to say what she had. It didn't sound like something random. No, I could vaguely remember her saying something rather specific when she visited me in the hospital but I barely remembered any of that time. Even Yu was essentially saying not to dismiss what Marie had said. "Seems like the game of Truth or Dare got derailed. Maybe we should switch things up." We couldn't stay up that late anyway, it was a school night after all. Although I wish the game could have gone on longer. I guess it could wait for some other time.
December 20th, 2011 / Late Evening
Kayane's House - Guest Room
RISE'S POINT OF VIEW
After the game of Truth or Dare broke down, Kayane had shifted it to play some music for Marie. And at some point had managed to get everyone to sing while playing my song True Story. It was the one we had sang for the performance back before we had gone to rescue Kayane, so everyone knew it. What was more surprising was that Marie had started singing as well. Although she had denied wanting to join in for quite a while, but Kayane had kept it up before Marie had given in and sang. And she really knew how to cut loose. Not to mention she had an amazing singing voice that surprised the hell out of me. Then again seeing Kayane act the way he had, so confident and yet passive. Mindful of everyone as he played the piano. Reacting to his audience and he controlled the mood almost instinctively. He really, really made me hate the fact that everyone was staying the night.
Okay so the thought of sneaking into his room was definitely still in my head and didn't seem like it would be going away any time soon. He was only next door after all, well his room was, but I think he was going to stick with the guy in the studio. I found myself going back to all he had said earlier during the brief Truth or Dare session. I don't think Kayane felt he had properly expressed what my song had done for him. My song, it was the song known as 'Star Bright'. It was unique among the tracks I had done because it was before the agency had decided what sound had been the best for me. 'Star Bright' had been more of a ballad, it had a much slower tempo and a much bigger demand in range of my voice. In the end, the track was omitted from my first CD as most of my music I recorded for it was more up beat and had a faster tempo. Specifically so it could be danced to and provide a more entertaining show on stage. The vocal range for them had also been greatly reduced, probably assuming I wouldn't be able to hit the notes while I was performing. No, they weren't interested in those types of songs. I had went with it at the time because I was so focused on just becoming an idol. But maybe that had been the start of it for me. Always singing what I was told, never having a chance to sing what I wanted. To the point that I'm not sure I entirely know what I wanted to sing. But I loved the songs Kayane had written for us. Every song had a message, a purpose, it felt like every track we created was a story in itself, but taken all the songs together would tell of an even greater story. He challenged my vocal range...going high and lower to find the limitations of my range. If anything he felt more like a vocal coach.
One day he had me literally go note by note with him so he could get an idea of my vocal range. Then in that same week he presented a song that was probably the most challenging I had ever done. I had never worked so hard on a song in my career. And it was amazingly fun. He pushed me more than anyone had before. He even admitted that it was a lot of fun for him. The way he smiled sometimes while we were practicing would cause me to slip up on occasion. Mostly because I want to just take a picture of him, or kiss him, or undress him.
Kayane, with him we re-worked a song. One that he had written. It wasn't just that but he considered my voice and more than even that. He had asked me something I hadn't been asked in so long that I had never thought about it. He asked me what I liked to sing. He asked what I wanted to sing. He wanted me to choose. In my time as an Idol there was no time for me to make a choice. My schedule was pre-determined, my songs written and composed for me, my dance pre-determined and made by someone else. My outfits, determined based on my measurements that I never remember getting taken. It was just moment after moment of my life on a set path, where all of them decided my every single minute of the day. All of it was planned, I was simply a product of Takura Productions.
"Rise-chan...hey Rise-chan," it was Chie. Just how out of it was I? I was probably thinking about all of this way too much. We were setting up the guest room for the night before we all went and took a bath. Well the bath at Kayane's house was large for some reason. I think Nanase told me the reason at some point but I couldn't remember it at the moment.
"Sorry, I guess I was thinking a little too much," I quickly apologized. It was hard for me not to get distracted when I was staying at the house though.
"Thinking about Senpai, no doubt," Chie grinned, she knew she had gotten a bullseye.
"I..." My cheeks were heating up just on instinct. "What does it matter? I mean he is my boyfriend." Besides, the reason I did get so distracted was that I knew that Kayane was hesitant to become physical to begin with. Considering all he went through in his life, I could understand why. And I had the part of me that wanted him to experience it because he wanted to, not because I did. But I could wait, I wasn't in a rush...
"I was wondering about that actually," to my surprise it was Naoto. "I thought your agency didn't allow for you to date." Oh that? Well she wasn't wrong.
"Wait, so the people she worked for say she can't go out with Ikakure Kayane?" Marie who had been rather quiet for most of the night asked. She had spent a lot of time just observing us.
"Well, the agency make money off their performances, and they feel they are easier to sell if there is an illusion to her fans that they could have a chance to date her," Naoto explained in probably the most honest and incredibly simple way. There was actually quite a number of reasons why it happens. That could definitely be one reason but it was much more complicated than that. There are actually a lot of dangers for Idols that date people. More than most people would imagine.
"Look it doesn't matter anyway," I spoke up and my tone probably came off as a little more dismissive than I meant it to. Honestly, I really didn't care about the subject or what the agency thought of my private life. I could get released for that reason but, I couldn't help myself. And maybe that was the point of why they restricted it.
"She would have dated Ikakure regardless," Yukiko smiled. "After all you were drawn to him from the beginning."
Well...she wasn't wrong about that. But it was because of a different reason. "I first saw him on that stupid news report. I was mad for a couple reasons."
"Yes, I saw it after the fact that night. They had painted Senpai in a very harsh negative light. And made a lot of presumptuous facts about him that were not true. I understand why it worked you up," Naoto added. What had really stuck out to me was that if he was from Inaba that he might be the next victim...and I had ended up being right. Yet we still hadn't been fast enough to prevent it. But the way they did that story was incredibly typical of media outlets.
"People would do that?" Marie asked.
"Those kinds of people don't care. They determine what message they want to send and then they only show the side that helps their point. Its the same no matter what. Always presenting only one side of an argument. It's just like when I worked as an Idol. Always be smiling, never let them see you frown...wear this outfit, sing this song...it was all just what they wanted to be seen. Nobody wants to show that everyone has their own problems, that their could be a reason as to why we do what we do. Nobody cares to know us as individuals. And they did that to Kayane, labeled him a Goth, an anti-social delinquent. And he has done nothing but do his best to not hurt or affect the people around him. I mean that part of him also irritates me but..."
"Relax, Rise-chan," Chie interrupted me by placing a hand on my shoulder. I hadn't realized how worked up I was getting. "We know all that. But yes, Marie-chan, people will use others to make a point, even if they are wrong."
"That doesn't make any sense," Marie crossed her arms and looked deep in thought. She glanced at me and then shook her head, "No, I suppose it does. Human nature encompasses many...not all of them can be like Yu-san and the rest of you." Marie got to her feet. "I'll be back."
I watched as she left. Marie had always been odd in our interactions together, but she had a good heart, and was very inquisitive...if not a bit naive about the way of the world. But all my thoughts lately had left them squarely about Kayane. Probably because us being in a relationship was so new to me. It wasn't like I had ever been in a relationship before him. But things...were going to get hard. Dealing with my parents in the contract negotiation was going to be more than just a little rough.
"Rise-chan, are you okay?" Naoto was at my side now. Naturally a detective would be able to see that I was thinking too much. Way too worried about what could possibly happen. I had been so looking forward to it, but there was too much that could go wrong. And it was those thoughts that had been flooding my mind lately.
"I didn't want to worry all of you or Kayane. The negotiation for the contract means my parents have to approve of the deal. And well, most of you met my Mother when Kayane was in the hospital. She will be against anything on the contract simply because it was done without her. And without a doubt she'll blame Kayane for everything. I don't want to subject him to my Mother. She'll never listen. She never has," I finally spoke the thoughts that had been buried in me. "Even after everything that has happened, Kayane makes me so happy. Singing next to him on that stage was the best I had ever felt in my entire career. He brings out a side of me I never even knew existed. And I can't bare the thought of my Mother talking down to him or stopping us."
"Rise-chan..." the other girls were all next to me. I was crying...I couldn't stop it.
"I don't. I don't want to hurt him. I..." I said before I heard the door open. I turned to see Marie, but behind her was Kayane. I blinked as my tears came to a stop.
"Hasn't anyone told you that eavesdropping is bad?" Kayane said looking to Marie.
"Shut up. Rise-chan needs you," Marie shoved Kayane into the room.
I looked up at him, tears still stinging my eyes. His eyes looking into my eyes, although I could barely see him. He knelt down and pulled me into his arms. I could feel it once more, safety. His warmth and scent washed over me like sunlight. "I'm sorry, Kayane." Why did he have to see me like this? I wanted to support him not be the one needing his.
"Rise, we have to do this," he said softly. Obviously he had heard a bit about what I had been saying before. Guess that explains what he was referring to eavesdropping then. Still he was keeping a comforting smile on his face. But I didn't buy it. "We'll face it together. No matter how hard it is. Isn't that what we decided?"
He didn't get it, he didn't know what was wrong. "I almost lost you Kayane! I want to protect you! I don't ever want you to be hurt because of me or the people in my life...I just...I..." It sounded all so childish, so possessive. The truth, what was it? What was really wrong with me? No it had to be something more simple. A more basic thing that was consuming my thoughts.
"You're a silly girl," Kayane said soothingly. He pushed me back and made me look up at him. He moved some stray strands of my hair from my view. "Do I look that weak to you?"
Weak? No. Never him, never Kayane. I shook my head. "No...no of course not."
"She's scared," Marie said simply. I couldn't argue against her, even as Kayane held me I was shaking. That was it wasn't it? It was simple, and it was all that had been consuming my mine. Fear.
"I...can't help it. I finally found you. I found someone that I wanted to show everything to. I found someone who saw me, who worried about me. Before I had even realized I was already in love with you. I had made a promise to myself, that I would wait. I would wait forever by your side until you were ready, as long as I could be close by and watch you. I had already resolved myself to that. But then...then you...you collapsed. You wouldn't wake up. I couldn't handle it. All I could think was that it was somehow my fault. Because I hadn't been brave enough, because I couldn't tell you the truth. That I loved you...that I wanted to be so much more to you. Every day you were in that coma I felt like I lost more and more of myself. I blamed myself. What if you died? If you died and I never got to tell you. I hated it...I hated every second. And now that you're back...I find myself terrified. I have to be close to you. I can't let you out of my sight. Every moment I don't know where you are...it scares the hell out of me. I feel like something else is going to take you away. And I won't allow it. I WON'T ALL-" Suddenly Kayane pulled me forward, his lips pressing against mine.
"Oh goodness," it was Yukiko.
But just as quick as it had happened he stopped, "Idiot." He said simply with a grin. Then after leaving me breathless he simply poked my nose and chuckled. "Stop trying to handle this on your own. You think I didn't notice how you've felt? I've known the whole time. I know it scared you. It scared me too you know. It wasn't that long ago...and with how crazy it has all been...we haven't had much time to deal with it. I guess tonight just had a way of showing you that. You aren't alone Rise. No point in trying to hold the burden to yourself. And I don't mean just me."
"Senpai, is right. No one can help you if you keep it all to yourself," Chie said the other girls were still close by.
"It will take time, Rise-chan. But it will get easier. We all know how hard it was for you. More than likely with how fast everything has happened, you didn't have time to get all this out of your system," Naoto said.
Kayane smiled at me. And just like that I felt everything...my tension and all of it coming to the surface and I started crying. But this time it was Chie, Naoto and Yukiko that hugged me. "I'm sorry everyone."
"Don't be. We're all here to support you, Rise-chan," Chie said.
"Thanks for coming to get me, Marie-san. But I think you girls can handle it from here," he was getting up. I moved Chie's shoulder a bit to look at him, and saw him looking right back. He smiled, I could let it go for now, but I knew he was just doing it for my sake. That wasn't his real smile. I knew what that looked like. "I'll be down the hall, but you should spend time with your friends, Rise. We have a long life ahead of us after all."
I watched him leave before I was crying once more...but it wasn't long before I had finally stopped. I had to be stronger for Kayane's sake. He might never say it, but I knew I had to be a strong support for him. In order to do that I needed to stay confident. I needed to sort through all my feelings. I knew it at the beginning before it had started, and in the time he was in a coma I had learned a lot more about him. It was possible, no, more like incredibly likely he wasn't being honest with me. Not because he didn't trust me, but because he didn't want to cause problems for me.
"Do you feel better now?" Marie asked as I swiped away the last of my tears and the girls finally separated from me.
"Yes, thank you for worrying about me, Marie-chan," I said with a bow. I knew there was still a lot for me to deal with, but it felt good having a release of all the tension and emotions that had been building up inside me.
"Huh? Yeah, don't worry about it," Marie said looking away and waving it off as if it really was no big deal. She was thoughtful, and a little awkward, not to mention found it hard to express what she was feeling. Definitely a good friend. Which lead to my next thought.
"Oh right...this is a party for Marie-chan!" I got up to my feet. "Come on, we're going to do some bonding."
"Wait...what? What are we doing?" Marie was confused but I was already pulling her up to her feet.
"We're all going to the bath. Don't worry, the bathroom is really big."
December 20th, 2011 / Late Evening
Kayane's House
"Is everything alright?" Yu asked as I walked back into the music room. I wondered it the word 'alright' could be quantified on a scale. Still I'm pretty sure he just wanted to know if he needed to do anything or not.
I nodded, "Yeah, the girls are doing just fine. Still Marie-san coming in here and demanding I go with her was a bit of a surprise. Where did you end up meeting her anyway?" I looked to see that Yosuke was already passed out, as was Kanji. Teddie, who was asleep had sprawled out, half using Kanji as a pillow. Well everyone was tired, it was a school night anyway. But apparently both Yosuke and Teddie had been working more at Junes and even Kanji was said to be putting more effort into his craft projects to sell at the textile shop. Plus it wouldn't be too long before finals would be here. And a few months I would be graduating. It's been a real busy time in my life.
"I met her when I first got to Inaba. I didn't really get introduced to her properly til later though," Yu said fondly remembering his meeting with her no doubt. With everyone asleep, I suppose now was the best time to ask what I had been suspecting for a while about Marie.
"So, is she from the Velvet Room?" I asked straight out.
Yu's eyes went big and then he stopped and laughed a bit, "She does stand out doesn't she? But I think your experience is different then my own. Still her clothes do give her away if you know what to look for."
"Well, lets see, for one I don't juggle multiple Personas. So I wouldn't need to go to the Velvet Room for that. No, from what the man Philemon said, my Velvet Room was formed in response to the interference of some other outside force. Whatever that means," I shrugged. That whole situation certainly had not been resolved...but there was even less to go off for that. "The murder is solved but we also have a lot we don't understand."
"Yeah, its true. Marie-san is someone that has helped my power, with her help I'm able to refine my Persona's so I can have the skills we need. In return I was asked to show her around this world. She was found in this world yet somehow ended up in the Velvet Room. And as Margaret likes to remind me...anything that happens in that room is connected to me. But all I really wanted to do was help her regain her memories. But her only clue was an old ornate comb," Yu shrugged. "She is hard not to worry about too. And her blunt nature can get on some of the girls nerves but I just can't help but laugh."
"The way you talk about her...I wonder if Yukiko has been jealous about the two of you at all," I mention but thinking about it, that wasn't how Marie had come off at all today. And the look in her eyes...
"I've explained it to Yukiko...mostly. I care about all of them...Marie too. But Marie has known about Yukiko and I since the beginning," Yu seemed to have experienced a lot over this year. I suppose with a murder mystery, Persona and Shadows to deal with it had to be pretty hectic for him. He had been dealing with it since the very beginning after all.
"Yu...do you really think this is all over?" I couldn't stop myself from asking.
He glanced at me, his demeanor changing to a more serious one, "No, I don't. But right now everyone needs rest and return to a bit of normalcy. We both know that there is something else. For example, whatever it was that wanted you, and tried to kill you."
So he was thinking about it, I shouldn't have thought less from him. "Yeah I figured you'd be on top of it. We should take extra care and make sure everyone is okay. Tonight, Rise was close to closing herself off, even to me. In her way of trying to protect me, I guess. But really, it was her pent up emotions from everything that happened while I was comatose. I think any of us that are connected could be a target."
"I agree, it might be because we're Persona users," Yu said narrowing it down further. "Either way, we'll simply have to be on the lookout for signs among our friends and just...try and have some fun. No point in trying to over think the situation and make us paranoid. We have to stay strong too, for all of them."
I couldn't agree more. Our struggles weren't over. I'm not sure they ever would be. That was what it meant to face yourself right? Life only brings challenge after challenge. There is no real end to that aspect in life. But as long as we can keep moving, as friends, as allies...then no matter what happens I'm sure that one way or another we'll find a way to fight. I can't give up...not ever. It was all of them here in my house...they made me realize just what I was missing. Rise...she cried when she met me the first time too. Her desire was always to protect and help me...its only gotten stronger now.
I stopped and turned to the doorway. I knew that sound, "Seems like the girls are in the bath. I mean. I know its a big bath but...honestly Rise basically lives here she knows my house so well."
"Not a bad thing to get used to is it?" Yu chuckled.
I shook my head, "No...I guess not. Still, I'm gonna go make sure everything is fine. You should probably head to bed though. I also wanted to talk to my Mom before it gets to be too much later."
"Alright. Thanks for having us over, Senpai," Yu gave me a final smile before I just gave a shrug as I left the room. I went down to the living room and found Mom sorting through a bunch of paper.
"Sounds like Rise-chan finally let it all go. She's been holding a lot in, you know," Mom said, which momentarily caught me off guard as I didn't think she realized I was there. I really shouldn't be surprised about it though. Mom just had that kind of talent.
"I guess so," I crossed over and sat next to her. "Having a girlfriend feels...weird."
Mom giggled, like actually fully giggled. That threw me off even more. "Only you could date an Idol...not just an Idol, but one that has been very influential on your life and still find something to worry about. I suppose that's just like you though. Kay-chan, you also have to know how happy you've become."
"I know. I am happy. I just don't know exactly what that means though. Or how to...I dunno, react? It's all so very new to me," I sighed and Mom turned and put her arm around me.
"That's a good thing. You aren't supposed to know everything. And you can't expect to know what happens next. Life comes moment to moment. You can plan ahead but there will always be changes, things you don't expect. And the same with relationships. Especially when you're dating an Idol and planning to start a career with her," she seemed really amused but definitely smiling big. "Don't look at the down sides. Look at the opportunities you have. Chances that most others could never have. But Kay-chan, you've also been through more than most ever will in their entire life. You may not believe it. It will take time for you to adjust, and that's fine."
"I just don't know what I should say or do most of the time," I found myself admitting.
"That is a part of how life works, son. None of us have the answers...all we can do is put in our best effort and hope that is enough. But you'll never know if you don't try. And that is really the best any of us can do. You have to go out and live, you can't wait for someone to do it for you. Plus, you have someone next to you who isn't going to make you do it alone. So what can you really lose? Regardless of the end result, you will have tried something amazing," Mom smiled and hugged me fully this time. "You've watched enough of your life pass you by. It's time you start taking control and live it how you want."
I nodded as Mom got to her feet, "I'm off to bed, Kay-chan. I'll see you in the morning." She walked off.
"Yeah," I said to nobody. I got back up and went to the window and looked outside. Just another night...but one where all my friends were here under the house. "I said I was going to live for me...for Rise. How do I know if I'm doing a good job?"
"You don't," another voice said. I turned to see Marie. "You're Mother was just telling you that, right?"
I eyed her for a moment, "I told you, eavesdropping isn't something you should do, you know?"
"I don't know much about love or relationships. It sounds complicated though, especially knowing what Yu has to deal with," Marie walked in and folded her arms and looked at me for a moment. "You're still new to it, right? I think that means you're allowed to make mistakes. Thats what I've observed. You have good friends, if you mess up, they'll forgive you and you'll have a chance to try it again."
"Is it wrong for me to not want to screw up the first time?" I shook my head. "I'm being childish, I know that. I have this feeling like I'm going to just screw up and cause more problems for everyone."
"So what?" Marie was blunt, as always. "Then screw up. They won't give up. Yu is stubborn that way. So is Rise-chan. That's how they've come so far."
I looked at her and chuckled a bit, "I guess that means you trust them quite a bit then."
She went red and looked away, "Yeah, whatever, shutupdon'tmakemesayembarrasingthingsjerk."
"Thanks Marie-san. I don't know you as well as the other guys but I appreciate that you care, truly," I gave her a slight bow. She quickly turned away.
"Yeah, you're all important. More important than me," She then walked off before I could say anything.
Something felt wrong about how she had said that. Still, it wasn't my place to pry. I turned back to the window to look back at the night sky.
There was a lot of work ahead for all of us. Rise and I were working on an album...and finals were slowly coming into view. The negotiation with Rise's parents and the Production company...and behind all of that was an odd sense that nothing was quite finished. Too many unanswered questions about Persona and the TV world. And if Persona was just a part of who we were...did that mean fights with Shadows would never end? I guess the future at this very moment had never seemed more uncertain to me before. But for the first time I realized, that wasn't a bad thing. Because I knew that Rise and the other members of the Investigation Team would always be in my life, one way or another. And that, I couldn't be happier about.
A/N:
So I suppose we've entered the realm of some lighter chapters. Not many mind you, and it isn't like the plot isn't being advanced but we no longer have a killer on the loose. Next part of the story is naturally, Marie's dungeon. Funny because originally this fan fic did not include anything from Golden. However, the timing on when I start the story actually made it stupid easy to rearrange a few things. Plus because I don't use Yu as a viewpoint character so I don't need to point out what he is doing from day to day. Which I have nothing against people that do the day to day as I've enjoyed reading a few of them. Its just with the way that I write I would probably be writing that kind of fic for years to come. And that isn't really something that I care to do.
Obviously Marie will be showing up quite often in the coming chapters. But we're slowly making our way to the end of Persona 4. But we still got quite a number of chapters to go before we get there. Not sure how many but base on the current pace at least another ten chapters. So it will be a while before we start tackling things beyond the first game. Which I'm going to give a little warning about that.
This story happens in the same continuum as my Persona 3 Fan Fiction Momento Umbrae (Which you can find through my profile here) I'll give warnings at the beginning of those chapters when I get there as it will involve massive spoilers from my other Fan Fiction. I'm not saying you need to read it to understand what is going on, but I think you'll enjoy it more. I will give basic explanation on those characters when they appear, so it isn't like you won't get it explained in some fashion here. I'll likely also use one or two of the Persona 3 characters as viewpoint characters once they enter the story. Adding another pair of eyes, other than Kayane and Rise. And there is some story reasons for that.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and continue to stick with me as we go on further into the future with this story. As always, thanks for your time, and leave me a review and let me know what you think. It's always great to hear from you guys. See you next week with the next chapter.
