Chapter 3 Floral Apologies

A/N: Thank you for the reviews on both Fanfiction and AO3. I am glad you like my story. I want to thank the guest reviewer that I couldn't message directly to say thank you, unfortunately as a guest it doesn't give a reply link but thank you so much. Thanks to Catcat85, TheresaG, JayhawkWrites, and for always reviewing my stories. T.B.

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Blaine was starting to have second, third, and fourth thoughts about coming to NYADA. He thought he could do it. Not the work, the school work was no problem at all, he was loving it, loving the college experience. It was seeing Kurt multiple times a day. He had thought his anger would be enough, so seeing him wouldn't hurt, he was so wrong, because it hurt like hell.

On top of that there was Adam, who he now ran into all the time. Not that he really cared anything about Adam, he had really enjoyed the time they spent together, but the thought of him being with Kurt, hearing the way he had talked about him, knowing that they had been intimate, had made it impossible to be with him.

The bad thing was deep down he knew that if Kurt would apologize and mean it, he would take him back. He missed him that much. He after all he had cheated too, he might not have gone as far as Adam said Kurt did, but he had been right there. He had been ready, they had both been naked and Blaine had been enjoying himself, he had taken the time to prep Eli, he had even had the condom on, but just couldn't go through with it, he couldn't take that next step with anyone but Kurt.

Kurt was supposed to be it, the only person he should ever be with, so even though he had been sooo ready to move forward with Eli, he knew he couldn't. He couldn't take that step; to completely ruin something that meant the world to him.

So Blaine kept going, kept going to classes, kept doing his school work, and kept hanging out with his new friends. He joined a few study groups, and a few clubs, basically the same thing he had done last year to keep his mind off of Kurt.

Blaine is talking to a group of people that was in his Theater readiness class, their teacher had assigned a massive amount of homework for them to do and suggested for them to set up a few study groups to share the work.

"Well if you guys are interested, I don't live far from here and we can get together, and study and knock some of this stuff out" Blaine said

"That actually sounds like a good idea, I am in" Alan said smiling at Blaine. He would pretty much agree to anything if it got him more time with Blaine.

"Ok, if you want to give us your address, we can meet you there. I need to go and get some papers from my dorm that might help with the homework she assigned" Sara agreed

"That works for me too, I could really use the help since I have been loaded down this semester with homework. I don't remember ever getting this much stuff to do the first few weeks of classes before. Aanndd since you are the one hosting, this little soiree Blaine, I can stop on the way over and grab some snacky type things." Annie said laughing, and maybe flirting with him a little. She thought Blaine was hot.

"Ok, that sounds like a plan. Say around 5?" Blaine asked

"Works for me" Alan said with a smile accepting the paper Blaine had passed each of them with his address on it. One by one they all agreed.

"Are you guys starting a study group, I would like to join if you are" Kurt quietly asked walking up to Blaine and the group of people he was talking too.

Kurt was in awe of how quickly Blaine had fit in here. When he had first started classes it hadn't been that easy for him. Adam was the only one who had really spent time with him outside of class. But Blaine had always fit in, no matter what the situation was. He just had one of those personalities that drew people to him. Kurt should know that better than anyone.

"Oh that's ok Kurt, I understand how busy you are working for Vogue and Cassandra, getting those last minute articles out, don't worry about us, we will be fine without you". Blaine said picking up his book bag.

"Blaine please!" Kurt said his voice breaking as Blaine was turning around, walking away with the rest of the group.

"Blaine what Kurt? Now you want to talk to me? I tried to get you to talk to me for two months Kurt, two months in which you ignored me. Two months in which you couldn't take time away from you busy schedule to answer your damn phone, or return a text. Well guess what Kurt, now… I no longer have time for you" Blaine said turning around and walking away. Not caring how the rest of the group stood there staring between them.

"You promise you would never walk away from me" Kurt yelled at Blaine's retreating back

Blaine turned around and walked back over to Kurt, looking him in the eyes "And you promised me you would never say goodbye. I guess we both broke promises didn't we." Blaine said looking at him, meaning it in more than one way, before turning around and walking away

Blaine was pissed; well beyond pissed that Kurt could say that after everything he had done. After every single call that he had ignored. After not even taking time away from Adam to pick up his phone and check on a friend after a school shooting. What he had said to Kurt was true, now... he no longer had time for him. The sooner he could get over him, the better off he will be. He just hadn't been able to figure out how to do that yet.

His world had revolved around Kurt for so long, how did he didn't really know how to start over, to be with someone else, or if he ever would be able to again. Sitting down on his couch waiting for everyone to show up, he contemplated just going home. If his parents hadn't bought him this apartment, he might actually think about doing it. Blaine wasn't a quitter, but this was so much more difficult than he ever dreamed possible.

At 4:30 Blaine heard a knock on his door and went to answer it, not really surprised that Alan was the first to arrive. They sat around talking for a while until the other two showed up and then they started working on the presentation that had been assigned to them. Blaine had a good time.

They worked on their project until 9 and then Sara and Annie left, but Alan stayed behind, wanting to spend a little more time alone with Blaine.

"So, you and Kurt huh" Alan asked looking at him

"Yeah we were high school sweethearts" Blaine said looking at him but not wanting to get into anything right now.

"Where you together long" Alan continued

"Two years" was all Blaine would say,

"Hummm, so you are unattached then right" He asked

"Yes, very much unattached" Blaine just smiled at him

"So, what do I have to do to get you to go out with me" Alan said walking up close to Blaine.

"Humm, maybe this" Blaine said leaning in and placing a kiss on his lips, and before long Alan had taken over, deepening the kiss, and pulling Blaine as close to him as he could get him.

Alan was really starting to like Blaine, they spent a lot of time just talking, but he wanted more. He wanted to take him out, spend time with him and see if they could build on some kind of relationship, and if he was honest he wanted Blaine in his bed.

"So, after class tomorrow, do you want to go have dinner with me? I know a wonderful place not too far away from here that I would love to take you too." Alan said before kissing him again

"Umm sounds like a plan" Blaine whispered as Alan gently pushed him back against the door and got as close to him as he could, sliding his hands down Blaine's side and across his ass pulling him closer.

"Oookk I think I need to leave before this goes a whole lot further than we mean for it too" Alan whispered in Blaine's ear, sending a shiver down his spine.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then" Blaine said looking at Alan, seeing how red and swollen his lips were. Blaine knew it was a good thing that Alan pulled back, because in that moment he wasn't sure if he could have.

It was kind of funny, he had been with Kurt for over a year before they ever had sex, but here he was, not even having gone out with Alan the first time, having thoughts of him naked in his bed, writhing under him. Yup it was definitely time to say goodnight.

The next morning Blaine walked into his first class of the day that he shared with Kurt. He walked passed him without even looking at him. He went to his normal seat by Alan. He had, had a really good time with him last night after their study group had broken up, and everyone else had gone home. He had been so turned on it was painful, looking forward to their date tonight.

He looked up when the teacher walked in, and for the first time noticed the vase of yellow and red roses on her desk. It was like a shock to his heart, those were their flowers, the ones they had always shared. He had sent the last ones when he was trying to get Kurt to forgive him, when he was breaking apart because he had cheated and broken Kurt's trust. If only he had known.

"Mr. Anderson, you had some flowers delivered for you" Mrs Knight told him

Blaine just sat there staring in shock, feeling as every single person in the room stared at him, especially Alan, not knowing what to do, but he knew he wanted nothing to do with those flowers, hated to even look at them now.

"They look beautiful on your desk Mrs. Knight why don't you keep them" Blaine said trying to hold his smile.

"Well thank you, do you at least want the card that came with them, so you know who sent them" She asked looking at him in shock. Most people are thrilled to get flowers, especially roses.

"No, that's ok, just throw it away. I'm sure it doesn't say anything important" Blaine said refusing to even look at Kurt when he knows he has turned around in his seat to stare at him. Blaine went right back to talking to Alan, like nothing had happened until class started. Trying to act like everything was normal.

When Blaine had found out Kurt had cheated on him, he felt so beyond hurt, he felt destroyed, and then he just gotten mad, mad because Kurt had felt it was ok to leave him suffering, beating himself up for what he had done. Kurt had left him alone in central park after begging for his forgiveness, he had just walked away. Sending him flowers wasn't going to fix that, not after everything Kurt had done.

The next day in class it was time for Kurt to do his assignment, to sing the song he had chosen. He would be the last one in the class to perform. Blaine had dreaded this moment, knowing Kurt would be standing up in front of the class, in front of him.

Blaine tried not to look at him but his eyes kept going to him; he had loved him so much, more than he had ever thought it was possible to love someone else. He had given him everything, only to find out his everything wasn't enough.

Kurt walked to the docking station the teacher had set up for their use, hooked his iPod to it. He then turned around and looked at the group. "I was assigned to do either a P!nk or a Katy Perry song. I chose this song because of the words it says. I hope this helps me say something I really need to, to someone who is so very important to me, someone I really hurt" He then turned around and hit play.

Right from the start

You were a thief

You stole my heart

And I your willing victim

I let you see the parts of me

That weren't all that pretty

And with every touch you fixed them

Kurt sang these words looking straight at Blaine, never taking his eyes off of him not caring what every other person in the room might think. He had to find a way to get through to Blaine, a way to make him understand that he knows he messed up, and just wants to find a way to get his forgiveness, and get his love back. He had quickly realized what he had lost; now… he just needed to figure out how to get it back.

Now you've been talking in your sleep, oh, oh

Things you never say to me, oh, oh

Tell me that you've had enough

Of our love, our love

Just give me a reason

Just a little bit's enough

Just a second we're not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

It's in the stars

It's been written in the scars on our hearts

We're not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

Everyone clapped for Kurt; he had done a really good job. Everyone clapped that is except Blaine. There had been a time when he would have clapped the hardest, would have proudly cheered the loudest. He had always been so proud of Kurt and his accomplishments.

Thinking back to when he had performed for Carmen Tibideaux when he was trying out for NYADA, remembering him in those gold lamé pants that had hugged every one of his beautiful curves.

Blaine had sat in that auditorium with Will Schuester, his heart swelling with pride, watching Kurt perform better than he ever had, cheering him on. But this time he just couldn't, he just sat there staring at Kurt as he walked back to his seat, Blaine feeling a fresh wave of pain with every step he took. Kurt never once took his eyes off of Blaine, hoping that he had gotten through to him.

"You are so wrong Kurt you are so very wrong, we are broken". Blaine whispered, not caring that Alan heard it, or saw the tears in Blaine's eyes, that he was trying so hard to control. This time Blaine stood up and walked out.

What he hadn't expected was that Kurt would follow him out. Not wanting to have the discussion he knew Kurt wanted to have in the middle of the hallway, he walked into the first empty room he found knowing that Kurt would follow him in. Blaine kept his back to him trying to get his emotions under control, refusing to cry in front of Kurt ever again. He had cried over him enough for a lifetime.

"I never had sex with him Blaine" Kurt whispered looking at him, tears running down his face

"Adam tells a completely different story" Blaine said still keeping his back to him, not wanting to look at him.

"Did you ever think that Adam might have lied? I have done a lot of things Blaine, but I have never once lied to you. Sure I might have kept things from you, I let you think that you were the only reason for our break up and I know how shitty that was, but I have never lied to you ever Blaine" Kurt said staring at his back, just wishing he would turn around.

"Why did you do it Kurt, why did you start with Adam to begin with? You knew I loved you, I was there for you, I would have done anything for you. How could you just throw away what we had like that, like it was nothing" Blaine asked finally turning around, looking at him, and in that instant Kurt wished he hadn't, because the man standing in front of him wasn't his Blaine. This man was hard in a way his Blaine never had been, and he knew that was all his fault. He had done this.

"I'm sorry Blaine, I am, and there is no way to say this without hurting you. You were the first person to ever pay attention to me, to want to spend time me with. You made me feel special, important. You gave me courage and self confidence I had never had before. You made me feel worthy of being loved."

"When Rachel got to New York she called me all the time, she was so lonely without Finn. He wasn't calling her that much. She understood, but it didn't make it any easier. She had only been here like two weeks when she met Brody. You know how she was a McKinley, Finn was her Blaine. He was the only one to ever paid attention to her, he had given her the confidence to be able to spread her wings and find someone new."

"Brody sounded amazing when she talked about him. All the fun things they were doing together. Here was another man that liked her. Someone more mature, someone worldlier than Finn, wanting to be with her, take her to places she never would have gone alone. She made it sound so very perfect. I started thinking that maybe there was someone else for me"

Hearing Blaine's sharp intake of breath he looked at him, and saw the pain in his eyes, the pain he had put there and just wished he could go back and undo everything. Not ignore that first call he ignored. Or said no the first time Adam had asked him out.

"I'm sorry Blaine, but like I was saying you were the only one who ever showed me that I was worth being with, that I was worth spending time with. You made me feel so loved. You made me feel like I could do anything be with anyone I wanted to be with" Kurt said looking at him, hearing for himself just how bad his words sounded.

"So this is my fault Kurt for loving you too much, is that what you are saying to me" Blaine asks softly, not believing what he was hearing.

"God no Blaine, I am just trying to explain" Kurt answered him

"You know Kurt; I would have done anything for you, given anything to be with you. I transferred schools to be with you. I walked away from my friends who had been there for me from the time I transferred in from Carson. People who cared about me, people who helped put me back together after those boys at that dance tore me apart. I gave that up for you Kurt. I gave up so much of myself for you."

"I was happy at Dalton; I had finally found my place. You talk about me helping you get your confidence, well Dalton gave ME mine back. I fit in there like I never fit in anywhere else, like I never did at McKinley even. I loved it at Dalton, but I walked away from it, because you asked me too. I left to be with you, because I loved you that much."

"And now you stand there saying you knew coming to New York you were going to be looking for something better, like our love wasn't enough, well you know what, it was enough for me. What I did, I never would have done, but you shut me out, you made me feel like I wasn't part of your life anymore. You took everything from me Kurt, and you left me with nothing."

"I know Blaine and I am so, so sorry. I never meant to hurt you I really didn't. I just wanted to try something different. I had always followed the rules, first my dad's and then yours. I wanted to be me for a while with no one holding me back" Kurt said knowing he wasn't doing a good job explaining himself

"What rules did I EVER make you follow Kurt, WHAT. The only thing I ever asked you not to do was when you were texting Chandler, and yes I know I promised I would never bring that up again, but that was the only thing I ever asked you to stop doing. So what rules did I make you follow" Blaine asked staring at Kurt, getting more and more upset with every word coming out of his mouth.

"Ok, rules may not have been the best way to say it. I wanted to see what it was like living here in this city, a place where I was normal for once, without having someone holding me back. I wanted to be free to do what I wanted to do, go where I wanted to go. To be free." Kurt continued

"Ok, so why didn't you just break up with me Kurt, if I was holding you back. Why did you put me through hell, why did you let me think I was the only one that messed up?" Blaine said shaking his head not believing any of this.

"I was afraid Blaine, I didn't want to let you go, I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to hold on to you, because as long as you were there I wouldn't ever be alone. I wanted to date other people, and see if what I had with you was better, or if there was something better for me out there. I wanted to be free to make that choice, but still have you there in case." Kurt said knowing that was the last thing he should have ever said judging by the look on Blaine's face.

Blaine walked up to him so his face was inches away from Kurt's "That is the difference between you and me Kurt, I already knew there was nothing better for me out there, because I had you. So now Kurt I ask you how does it feel, because guess what you are free" Blaine said before turning around and walking out the door without looking back, hearing as Kurt broke down and for the first time in their relationship he just couldn't bring himself to care.

A/N: Song in this chapter was P!nk's Not Broken Just Bent