Chapter 4 Goodbye

Blaine walked away, still so in shock, still so hurt he could hardly breath. His world had just imploded around him. He walked out of the door of the school and straight to his apartment. He didn't talk to anyone didn't want to see anyone he just wanted to go home. It had been bad enough when he found out Kurt had cheated on him, but to find out that he only stayed with him as long as he had because he didn't want to be alone, he had kept Blaine around because he was safe bet.

He had been home for twenty minutes when he heard a knock on his door. He didn't want to see or talk to anyone so he almost ignored it but they knocked again. Drying his eyes and taking a couple of deep breaths he finally walked over to the door and opened it.

"Are you ok" Alan asked taking one look at Blaine and knowing he wasn't

"No, I really don't think I am" Blaine answered him. Shit, he had forgotten he had a date with him tonight.

"Do you want to talk about it" Alan asked softly reaching out and pulling Blaine into a hug, and then Blaine fell apart. Alan managed to step further into the apartment so he could shut the door, never letting Blaine go; he just held him and let him cry it out.

"Well that is embarrassing" Blaine said with a small laugh, when he was finally able to get himself under control "Give me a minute" he said before walking to his bathroom so he could wash his face.

Right as he got to the living room, his phone started ringing; with a small smile at Alan in the way of an apology he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"Hello" Blaine answered

"How did you know" Blaine asked with a small laugh. Sam always seemed to know when Blaine was going to need to talk. They had gotten really close their last year of school, even after his parents made him transfer back to Dalton

"Oh yeah, more times than I even want to talk about, I have several classes with him" Blaine answered

"Oh no, he isn't ignoring me; he bought me our fucking flowers and had them delivered to me in class"

"I know, I know"

"I honestly don't know Sam. I don't know what I am going to do"

"I might head home for the weekend"

"You know I will; do you doubt that"

"I need to talk to Burt too"

"Oh yeah it was a mistake, a big mistake. Listen I have someone here, I will touch base with you this weekend and tell you everything. Is Tina home be any chance, I know she is going to want to hear this too, and I can tell you both at the same time." Blaine asked "Thanks Sam" Blaine said pressing the end button on his phone.

"Sorry that was one of my best friends. I don't know how, but he always seems to know when I need to hear from him" Blaine said walking over to the couch where Alan had sat down, sitting beside him.

"No problem, now then, do you want to talk. I saw the look on your face when you walked out of class, and then he followed you out" Alan said looking at Blaine.

"Oh yeah that… I basically found out the last two months of my relationship with Kurt was a complete sham. Well actually longer than that I guess. We met in high school, and I fell so in love with him, I even transferred schools just to be with him. I used to go to an all boys private school." Blaine said looking at him

"We met my sophomore his junior year. We were together for the next two years, and as far as I knew we were happy. We had the normal couple hiccups but nothing major. Hell we were the only couple in our glee club that never even fought."

"At the beginning of my senior year, Kurt moved to New York for school, and he started working for Vogue. At first everything was ok, but then I started hearing from him less and less. I would call or text him and a lot of the time he wouldn't answer his phone. The bad thing was Kurt was also my best friend. The person I talked to about all the craziness."

"I guess I just started feeling like I lost him, that I wasn't part of his world anymore, and I went out with someone else. I cheated. It wasn't anything more than a kiss, but still that was cheating. I came to New York to tell him what I had done, and to beg him for his forgiveness. He broke up with me." Blaine said looking at Alan with a sad smile.

"I still thought we would get back together, I just knew it, our love was that strong. Or at least I thought it was. I would text him randomly at first to apologize and he never once responded. I finally decided to give him some space to calm down, I texted him one more time to let him know I would leave him alone, but I was always there when he was ready to talk"

"We had a school shooting, it made national news and he never even called. He never once called to check on the person he always said was his best friend. In that moment I knew we were really over. Until then I guess I had convinced myself that we were going to manage to work us out. I got mad which helped."

"I had applied for NYADA before the break up. He was even there and helped me fill out the application. He had come home that weekend out of the blue to see me" Blaine said laughing without humor, standing up walking to the window

"After the shooting and him not calling like I said I was mad, and hurt. I had almost convinced myself not to come here until then. I didn't think I could handle it if we saw each other. Him not calling even if just to check on me made me so mad and gave me the push I needed to come here. I wasn't going to let him make me miss the opportunity of a good education."

"As you know I went out with Adam a few times, only to find out that from the time Kurt moved to New York, he was dating Adam. Today, I found out that he didn't break up with me when he decided he wanted to date someone else because he didn't want to be alone. He thought he could try out dating someone else and if it didn't work out, he still had me. I was his little safety net" Blaine said turning around looking at him

"Damn Blaine" Alan whispered looking at him. "What are you going to do?" he asked looking at him.

"That is what Sam asked, and to be honest I don't know yet. I know I wish I never came here, I wish I had never seen him again. I think after class tomorrow I am going to head home for the weekend; I want to talk to Sam and Tina, they have been there for me through everything, the funny thing is I met them through Kurt, I am only friends with them because of him" Blaine said looking at him

"Do you feel like going out with me tonight? If you don't I understand, but I kind of hope you do" Alan said looking at Blaine with a gentle smile

"Can I get a rain check? I know I am not going to be any kind of company tonight" Blaine said looking at him, in a way glad that Alan had given him an easy out.

"I completely understand" Alan said standing up "I will go ahead and leave now, call me if you need to talk, I guess I will see you tomorrow"

"Thank you for understanding, I just know I will be Debbie downer tonight" Blaine said trying to laugh, but almost breaking down instead.

Blaine walks Alan to the door, allows him to kiss him goodbye and quietly shuts the door. The minute it closes he slides down to the floor and falls apart. He still couldn't believe the words Kurt had said to him today, he felt so beyond used, and hurt. He had spent most of his senior year feeling guilty about cheating on Kurt. He could have been having fun, running around with his friends, but instead he had sat in his room watching the old movies him and Kurt used to watch together, missing him more and more.

When his parents had first gotten him this apartment, he had fallen in love with it, and even though he had still been mad at Kurt for the whole not calling after the shooting, he had it built it up in his mind that somehow they would see each other, Kurt would realize he still loved Blaine enough to forgive him and they could share this apartment together. After today he knew it had all been a pipe dream.

Blaine stood up, walked to his bedroom and packed a suitcase, he was going to go home tonight, he would just skip class tomorrow. He needed to be around people that loved him again. He wanted to be with his parents, to see Sam and Tina and for a brief minute to forget.

When he had his bag packed he called for a taxi and went to the airport. He was lucky and was able to get a flight leaving in an hour. He sat in the waiting area until his plane was called and then boarded, he didn't even stop to call his parents to let them know he was on his way home.

When his plane landed in Ohio, he grabbed a cab and headed home, the only place he wanted to be. When he walked in the front door the house was quiet, he first looked in the living room, then the kitchen and then finally his dad's office, that is where he found them, snuggled up on the couch watching a movie, when he opened the door, his mom turned around, took one look at him and jumped up and ran over to him.

"Blaine, sweetheart, what's wrong" she asked pulling him into her arms feeling when his whole body started to shake.

"He cheated on my mama, he cheated on me" Blaine said sobbing. He hurt so bad

"Who cheated on you" his mom patiently asked him, looking at his dad when he walked up to them. As far as they knew Blaine hadn't been in a relationship with anyone since Kurt broke up with him.

"Kurt, he was cheating on me almost from the time he moved to New York. That is why he stopped taking my calls. He left me believing that I was the only one at fault for our break up. Yes I kissed Eli, but mama he was dating someone almost the whole time he was gone" Blaine said looking at his parents

"How do you know that son" Michael asked looking at Blaine. He had always liked Kurt, and thought that the two of them made a good couple. If his son had to be gay, at least he was with someone that was good to him, or so he thought.

"I met this guy named Adam, we had a class together and we really hit it off. He was a year older than me, was British and just really seemed nice. We went out a few times and somehow we ended up talking about our exes. Since Kurt was my only one, I told him about Kurt. He proceeded to tell me about this guy he had started dating the year before, how they had met after the guy had been in school for two weeks. He was talking about Kurt." He answered

"Are you sure son, that doesn't sound like Kurt" his dad asked looking at him

"He confessed, he told me himself. When I asked him why he didn't just break up with me, if he wanted to be with other people, he told me that he was afraid to break up with me because it might not have worked out between them, and he would still at least have me. He used me so that he had a backup plan in case Adam didn't work" he answered tears slowly sliding down his face.

"Come on sweety, let's go sit down and snuggle like we used to. It looks like you could use it," she said grabbing Blaine's hand and guiding him to the couch. Pam sat by Michael and Blaine laid down with his head in her lap like he used to when he was little, back when laying in her lap could make everything better. She just held him, stroking his hair with her hand.

"What do you want to do Blaine, do you want to stay at NYADA, or do you want to transfer somewhere else" his dad asked him. He was so beyond pissed at that little shit that had hurt his son; he didn't like the idea of them being in the same place anymore. He didn't want to watch his son hurt.

"I honestly don't know" Blaine whispered "I don't like the idea of being a quitter. I don't want to let him run me off. You know. I have a feeling I would regret it for the rest of my life if I did."

"Well just know we will support you no matter what decision you make. If you want to stay there, transfer schools or just come home for a while. Whatever you think is best for you, is fine with us." Michael said looking at Blaine with a small smile on his face. He was so glad to have Blaine home, he had missed him. He hates that it is for the reason it is, but…

Blaine almost falls asleep, feeling his mom rub his head had him so relaxed. He slowly sits up. "I think I am going to head to bed, thank you both for everything" Blaine said leaning over, and hugging his parents, before walking out of the room, just so glad to be home.

Blaine walked up to his room, and looked around. The last time he had been here he had been so happy for his new adventure to start. Looking around his room he sees so much of "them" still laying around. On his corkboard by his desk was a picture of the Warblers. The one taken right after Kurt had joined them. Beside it was a picture of all of the New Directions when they had won Nationals, Blaine standing with his arm around Kurt's waist, as always so proud to be standing beside him.

On his bookshelf was his favorite book that just happened to be the very first thing Kurt had ever given him. And Blaine knew that if he opened his nightstand drawer, right on the very top was a black and white picture of Kurt that he had, had taken his senior year in high school. Blaine crawled up on his bed and remembered their first time. He had just played Tony in Westside Story, and Kurt had shyly said he wanted to come here, to Blaine's house.

That had been the most magical night of his life; he had never loved Kurt more, he had known that they were going to be together forever. He had been so very wrong. Blaine stands back up and walks over to his closet, opening the door, he looks at all his old clothes he wore when he was in McKinley, mixed in was his Dalton uniforms. He should throw them all out. He couldn't see himself ever wearing any of them again.

Blaine slowly made his way back to his bed grabbing his keyboard as he did. He had a song running through his head that he needed to get out. He slowly played the chords running through his mind and before he even realized it, he had a lyrics. He quickly started writing and before he knew it, he had written his third song.

Finally feeling tired after a very emotional day, Blaine stripped down to his briefs and crawled into his bed, so very glad to be home. He slept till nine the next morning, something he hasn't done in forever. When he finally got himself dressed he walked out of his bedroom, and went to the kitchen. His mom had left a note that she had some errands she needed to run but would see him later. She had left Blaine some coffee; he quickly drank it before walking outside, getting in his car and heading to Lima.

Blaine was pulling up in front of Hummel Tire and Lube before he even realized where he was going. He knew he wanted to talk to Burt, but it was almost like his car had been on autopilot. Blaine sat there for a few minutes before opening his door and getting out of his car. He needed to know if Burt had known what was going on and didn't tell him.

"Did you know" Blaine asked walking into Burt's office

"Did I know what" Burt asked softly, and from the look he was giving Blaine, he already had his answer

"Why didn't you tell me, warn me? I walked into that stupid school blind. I thought you cared about me Burt, how could you do that" Blaine whispered feeling so beyond betrayed by a man he had always thought of as a second father.

"I couldn't tell you Blaine, it wasn't my place; he needed to be the one to tell you" Burt said standing up from his desk and walking over to face Blaine. He had hoped that he would never hear the truth.

"How long did you know" Blaine asked starting to get a little aggravated

"He called me after he had been at school a week and a half saying that there was a guy he had his eye on. The next week he called me and told me that they had gone out on their first date. I asked him then if he was going to break up with you, and he said he wasn't sure yet. He wanted to see how things went with Adam first. I tried to get him to tell you, to do the right thing and he refused and made me promise not to tell you anything, that he would tell you when he was ready." Burt said wishing he would have done what he felt was right from the beginning.

"I don't understand how you could do that to me. You knew how torn up I was because I had cheated on Kurt, how bad it was when he broke up with me. You let me go on and on and never thought it was important enough to tell me. I trusted you Burt, I thought you cared about me. I guess now I know." Blaine said turning around, heading back to his car, ignoring Burt as he called out to him, trying to get him to stop.

Blaine got in his car and drove off. He went to the Lima Bean went in and ordered himself a medium drip, and just stopped himself from ordering a grande' nonfat mocha. He almost broke down again, wishing now that he hadn't stopped, that he hadn't come here, there were too many memories and ghosts hanging around. Blaine pulled out his phone and called Sam to see if he could talk

Blaine sat there for ten minutes and when he looked up he saw Sam and Tina walk in. He had never been so happy to see them before. He stood up and hugged them, before they all sat down.

"What is going on Blaine" Tina asked. When Sam had called her yesterday asking if she could come home, he had told her a little but said that Blaine would need to fill her in on the rest. Blaine slowly tells them what he found out how Kurt had been dating someone else the whole time and that was why he had stopped talking to him.

"What are you going to do" Sam asked still so in shock, if anyone ever asked the glee members which relationship they thought would make it, it would have been Kurt and Blaine. They had always been so perfect together, two halves of a whole. When Blaine had come back to school that Monday, after flying to New York to confess to Kurt they had both been so shocked. That wasn't something they ever saw Blaine doing, he loved Kurt too much for that. To Blaine, Kurt had hung the moon, now, he was sitting in front of them devastated.

"What are you going to do now? Are you going to change schools?" Tina asked looking at him

"I don't think he should, I don't think he should give Kurt that much power over him, I think he will regret it if he does." Sam said looking at Tina

"Funny, that is exactly what I said to my parents last night" Blaine said with a sad smile

"I think you should go back, act like you could care less. Maybe transfer out of the classes you have with him but stay in school" Sam said looking at both of them

"When did you get so smart" Tina said looking at Sam before busting out laughing.

By the time they finished talking Blaine knew what he was going to do, he wasn't going to let Kurt ruin his education, a decision he had made before starting at NYADA at the first of the semester. He would however change out a few of his classes. He knew he would need to stay in theater readiness but the rest he didn't care anything about. He would stay with the ones he needed for his major and not worry about the rest.

He drove home feeling so much better. Talking to Sam and Tina had been just what he needed. He spent the rest of the weekend with his parents before heading back to New York so he would be ready for class on Monday

oOoOo

From that point on, Blaine concentrated on his school work. He still went out with friends and enjoyed himself but it never went back to the way it was, and he was ok with that. Towards the end of Blaine's first year at NYADA, the students in his theater readiness class were called to the auditorium. Blaine held off walking in, wanting to make sure that he wasn't stuck sitting with people he had been trying to avoid since first semester.

"Ok group we have a special treat. One of our schools benefactors June Dalloway will be here in two weeks; we are going to be changing the name of this auditorium in honor of her. We have three of you picked out that we would like to perform for her. When I call your name, please come forward and you will be given the song you will be performing for her." Mr. Marcs said

"Karen Jones, Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel" Shit Blaine whispered standing up and walking to the front. He didn't want to be involved in a project that included Kurt; he had managed not to be anywhere near him all year except that one class.

Walking forward, Blaine was given the song Story of my life. He wasn't really familiar with the song; at least they were given two weeks to learn it. Blaine had just turned around to walk out and go to his last class of the day, when he felt a hand on his arm. Before turning around, he knew who it was going to be, and almost kept walking, but Kurt had once been his best friend, and if he was honest he still missed him.

"Blaine can I talk to you a minute" Kurt asked him softly, Blaine hadn't really looked at him in a while, he always tried to avoid him, but looking now he noticed that Kurt's already thin body was even thinner, he had dark circles under his eyes, and the hair Kurt had once spent thirty minutes to fix was just laying flat on his head like he couldn't be bothered with it anymore.

"Kurt, are you okay" Blaine asked concerned, hating to see Kurt like this. He had always been Blaine's beautiful boy, now he just looked like he didn't care

"I'm ok, I wanted to apologize to you again for everything I did, and let you know just how much I regret hurting you, hurting us. I love you Blaine, you are the best thing that ever happened to me, and I just wish I had realized that before it was too late. I know you don't want to talk to me and I understand. I just didn't want to leave without telling you goodbye.

"What do you mean leave without telling me goodbye" Blaine asked looking at Kurt in shock

"I think it is time for me to leave. I know that you have been avoiding being with me, and I understand why, I do, but it has just gotten to where it hurts to bad. I miss my best friend, the person I could always talk to about everything; the person who knew me better than I knew myself most of the time. I am leaving NYADA; I am going to go to London College of Fashion beginning next semester. I just told Mr. Marcs that I won't be available for the show so he can give my part to someone else" Kurt said looking at Blaine feeling as a tear rolled down his face.

"When did you decide to change your major, you never said you wanted to go into fashion, all you talked about was being on Broadway" Blaine asked before he realized he was actually talking to Kurt the way they used to, back when everything was still normal between them.

"Probably about six months ago. I just can't do it anymore; I can't handle seeing you and not being able to be with you. I can't get into acting anymore, Rachel of course is freaking out but she is going to be playing Fanny so she wasn't going to be around much anymore anyway. I guess I need to go, I just wanted to tell you bye and hope you get everything you want out of life Blaine, because if anyone deserves it, you do. I will love you forever" Kurt said before turning around and walking away leaving Blaine standing there in complete shock.

Kurt, his Kurt was telling him goodbye