A/N: This is the first chapter of any of my stories that has been beta'd, and to be honest I learned that they all needed to be lol. Thank you so much to my wonderful beta JayhawkWrites, for reading over this and understanding my rambling mind.
Chapter 6 Here
"Blaine"…
Blaine sat still for a few seconds, tingles running down his spine, hearing the voice he loved more than anything, the voice he had wanted to hear for so long, his Kurt. Taking deep breaths with his eyes closed before slowly turning around and looking at the person he had missed more than he ever thought possible, the love of his life.
"Kurt," Blaine whispered, his voice breaking on a sob. He was out of his chair and pulling Kurt into his arm for the first time in 5 years, and in that instant, he was finally home. They held each other tight, both openly crying, their body's shaking from the force of their tears.
"I missed you so much Kurt, I missed you so much" Blaine whispered with tears running down his face, hands framing Kurt's face before leaning in and placing a desperate kiss on his lips, putting as much feeling as he could in that one kiss, feeling Kurt responding, he deepened the kiss.
Then it hit him, what he was doing, he didn't even know if Kurt was free, if he was with someone. That thought, even though painful, had him stepping back a little, but he reached down for Kurt's hands, holding them, not wanting to ever let him go. If Kurt was with someone else, then they would be friends. Blaine couldn't lose him again; he needed him in his life in some way, shape or form. He needed Kurt like he needed oxygen to breathe.
"Hi," Blaine whispered, looking at Kurt with a soft smile on his face. He reached up with his right hand and rubbed his thumb across Kurt's cheek like he had done hundreds of times before.
"Hi," Kurt whispered back, looking at Blaine like he was seeing him for the first time, the love he had always felt for Blaine shining in his eyes. When he had seen that Blaine would be performing in Paris tonight, he had bought a ticket right away. He just had to see him. He had never really expected Blaine to notice him among everyone else in that packed auditorium. He thought he would be just one of the thousands of people who showed up to watch 'his' Blaine perform.
He had been shocked when he watched Blaine notice him. Then he sang that song just for him and all the love he still feels for his wonderful friend came flooding back. He could only cry when Blaine said that he was on the "list", and had been on the list of every concert he had ever had. He was still important to Blaine, and that thought alone had brought him so much joy. Then Blaine told the audience that he still loved him, his heart soared.
A knock on the door disturbed them, it opened a crack and a blond girl stuck her head in, "Blaine the limo will be leaving in five minutes to head to the motel. Sam and Tina said they would meet you there"
"Ok thanks, Jillian, have a good night," Blaine answered with a smile on his face.
"Well, I guess it's time for you to go, you must be really worn out after that performance tonight," Kurt said in a quiet voice. He didn't want to lose Blaine so soon after finally getting to be in his arms again, even if he had only been in them for just a few short minutes.
"Yeah, luckily we were able to check-in the hotel this afternoon before the show. It always makes it easier when we have a late show like tonight. We don't have to deal with midnight check-ins," Blaine said with a smile.
"Where are you off to next?" Kurt asked trying to stretch their time together just a little bit more.
"We have one more night in Paris and then we will be heading out to the next concert venue, which to be honest, I lost track of where we were supposed to go next. Sometimes it's all just a big blur," Blaine said gently stepping away from Kurt, grabbing his jacket off the back of the chair he had been sitting in.
"Well it was really good seeing you again, I… have really missed you, Blaine," Kurt said with a tear rolling down his cheek. This was it; he wondered how many years it would be before he was able to see him again, if that was something Blaine even wanted to do.
Blaine looked at Kurt, knowing he didn't want to let him go so soon after he had just found him again. He didn't want to lose him again. "Umm… well umm... what are you doing now? Would you be interested in coming to the motel with me? I mean that will give us more time to talk… but only if you want to," Blaine said struggling to say things the right way. He did not want Kurt to think he was asking him back to the motel for any other reason than to talk, to reconnect. He felt like he was rushing his words by wanting Kurt to go with him so bad, and not wanting to watch him walk away again.
Kurt looked at Blaine with a smile spreading across his face, "I would like that."
Blaine reached down and took Kurt's hand like he had thousands of times in the past, feeling that same sense of contentment; of home like he had always felt when he did so all those years before. Blaine can still remember the first time he had held this man's hand, standing at the bottom of the Dalton staircase looking up at the most beautiful boy he had ever seen in his life, falling in love with him in an instant even though it would take him months to really recognize that.
He looked at Kurt and smiled before opening the door and followed one of the auditorium runners to the outside door. Still holding Kurt's hand he walked with him towards the waiting limo. Millions of light bulbs started flashing around them as he waited for Kurt to slide in before following him in. With a sigh, he laid his head down on the back of the seat. He was usually always drained after a concert, and most of the time just went to his room and crashed.
"You look tired," Kurt said softly looking at Blaine. "You were wonderful tonight. I always loved watching you sing, but tonight... On that stage, you were amazing."
Blaine turned his head, opening his eyes so he could look at Kurt. "Thank you. I'm not going to lie, when I saw you, I might have put a little more into my performance than usual," he said with a wink, staring at Kurt.
"You were great! I sat out there in the audience and watched the performer you had become, remembering all the times you would sing and perform at Dalton and then at McKinley. You were always this amazing singer, but now you're unbelievable," Kurt said looking at him, remembering when Blaine sang "Teenage Dream," feeling like he had been singing it just for him.
Blaine just stared at him, wanting to ask so many questions, but not knowing if he wanted the answers he would get. He wanted to know if Kurt was seeing anyone? Did he have a boyfriend? Has he loved anyone else? He decided tonight he would just live in his protective bubble, and be with Kurt as long as he would let him be.
Before Blaine was ready they were pulling up to Four Seasons Hotel George V, the hotel they were staying in for this leg of the tour. It was a beautiful place, but Blaine was a little jaded, after spending night after night alone in a hotel room, they kind of all blurred together. He was so ready for this tour to be over so he could just go home. Wherever home might be now.
His apartment in California didn't really feel like home and if he was honest with himself, it never had. To him, it had just been a place to keep his stuff. He never even took the time to decorate it. The way it was when he moved in, is the way it still is all of these years later. It had even come fully furnished. Nothing in that apartment except for his clothes had been chosen by him.
When the limo swung in close to the entrance, and before the driver could open the car door, Blaine looked at Kurt, "Sorry about this, but there are going to be a lot of cameras around and reporters asking questions. If you would rather leave instead of dealing with this I will understand." He was feeling down all of a sudden at the thought of Kurt walking away when he was finally with him again.
"I'm fine, Blaine. I understand and I want to spend some time with you while you are in Paris, unless you would prefer me to leave," Kurt asked wondering if that was Blaine's polite way of asking him to go.
"No, Kurt. Trust me, I don't want you to leave. I can promise you that," Blaine said leaning in to press a soft kiss on Kurt's lips before he could stop himself. "Ok, let's go."
Blaine slid out of the car and reporters immediately started asking questions and taking pictures. Everything got quiet for a split second when Blaine turned around and reached into the car to take Kurt's hand and helped him out. Then the cameras started going crazy again.
"Blaine, Blaine, who is this?"
"Blaine, is this your new boyfriend?"
"Blaine, where is Matt? Isn't he with you?" the last reporter yelled. Matt had gone on the last tour with Blaine and had been slated to come on this one also, but things had ended between them and Blaine was honestly happy about that. If he had still been with Matt he wouldn't have been able to be here with Kurt.
Blaine held up his hand laughing. "Ok. one at a time, please. First of all, thank you to everyone who came out for my concert tonight I hope you all enjoyed it, and this is my best friend in the whole world," Blaine said pulling Kurt close to him wrapping his arm around his waist.
"Is this the person you talked about during your concert, the one you said you lost connection with, the one you sang that song too?"
Blaine looked at Kurt with a soft smile, "Yes, this is the person I was talking about. We had… let's say, a 'disagreement', a little over four years ago and we haven't seen or talked to each other since then. I saw him in the audience tonight, and I had to reach out to him, I couldn't let him leave without trying to talk to him again, so yes that song was sung for him," Blaine said looking at Kurt again.
"Now, if you will excuse us, this has been a really long and emotional day for both of us, and we still have a lot of talking to do. Once again thank you to those who were at the concert tonight and I hope to see you there again tomorrow," Blaine said before reaching down for Kurt's hand and walking with him toward the door that was already being held open for him. Not caring for once about the cameras flashing behind him. He was in his happy place beside Kurt, if only for now.
"Mr. Anderson, welcome back. The dinner you requested will be brought up to your room shortly, sir. Please let us know if there is anything else we can help you with," the concierge said smiling at Blaine
"Actually, John, can you have them bring up enough for two? Also, please add a second glass of wine, and two diet cokes please," Blaine said smiling at Kurt
"That will be no problem, sir, we will have it up to you in about twenty minutes," John responded
"Thank you. Have a good night," Blaine said before putting his hand on the small of Kurt's back, guiding him to the elevator. When they were inside, Blaine hit the button for his floor and then reached down for Kurt's hand again, not wanting to let him go any more than he had too. He wasn't sure how much time he had left with him.
"I can't believe we broke up five years ago," Kurt says softly, keeping his head tilted down.
"I know, but let's not talk about that now ok? We don't have much time together, and I don't want the time we do have to be sad. Let's just spend some time enjoying each other's company tonight, and maybe if you are interested we can talk about the difficult stuff tomorrow," Blaine said hoping Kurt would agree because that meant he would get to see him tomorrow as well.
"That sounds nice," Kurt said with a shaky voice. He knew there was a lot they needed to talk about, a lot to discuss, but he didn't really want the time he had left with Blaine to be sad. He wanted it to be more like it used to be, when he was still Blaine's best friend, back before he ruined everything by being stupid and losing the most important person in his life.
"Good," Blaine said with a smile on his face looking over at Kurt.
When the bell rang notifying them that they were on the right floor, someone was there waiting on them. "Night Blaine, see you in the morning," the man said with a serious look on his face.
"Thanks, Greg, how is your wife doing?" Blaine stopped for a minute to ask.
"She is doing great. I talked to her a few minutes ago and she is going to her sister's house tomorrow she can hardly wait. Thanks again for that by the way," Greg said with a smile.
"No need to thank me. I hope she has a fun visit. See you in the morning," Blaine said turning left out of the elevator, still holding Kurt's hand.
"I guess you can tell that was Greg," Blaine said laughing softly. "My band and crew have this whole floor. Greg's job is to make sure no one gets off the elevator on this floor that isn't supposed to be on it. We have had issues before with some fans sneaking around, trying to get into rooms looking for me," Blaine said looking at Kurt. "I'm not sure why someone would go to that kind of trouble for, but who knows," he said shrugging his shoulders.
Kurt just looked at Blaine wanting to ask, don't you know who you are? Don't you know how many fans you have? Blaine was still Blaine in every way that really mattered Kurt thought with a smile. He was still the person that for the longest time didn't think he was good enough. He had always been ready to stand up for Kurt, to be a champion him, but had never really learned how to be a champion for himself. He had doubted himself and situations, and Kurt knew he added a lot to that.
"This is me," Blaine said stopping in front of one of the doors slipping his key card in and then opening the door, standing back to let Kurt walk in first.
The room was massive. It looked like someone's apartment instead of a hotel room. The living area was bigger than Kurt's whole apartment combined. The first thing he saw when he walked in was the view. It was beautiful, and from the window, he could see the Eiffel Tower.
"Blaine this is beautiful," Kurt said turning around looking at Blaine.
"It's nice. I don't know why they always put me in such a big room for. When I first started out touring, we always had these little rooms. The label refused to let me pay for my own, so I got what they paid for, now…" Blaine said looking around shrugging his shoulders.
Blaine looked at Kurt with a smile, "If you don't mind, I'm going to go take a quick shower. I always feel so grimy when I get off stage. It gets really hot up there with all the lights," Blaine said. "Hopefully I will be out before the food gets here, if not, can you let them in?" Blaine asked looking at Kurt
"Yeah, I can do that," Kurt whispered as he watched Blaine walk away. Watching as he pulled his shirt off and tossed on the floor by the dresser. Kurt about lost his mind, as he watched Blaine lower his arms, stopping at his waist. Kurt heard as he started unbuckling his belt just as he was walking into the bathroom. His heartbeat accelerated thinking back to all the times he had watched Blaine undress.
He moved a little closer to the bathroom door and could only smile, Blaine was singing in the shower. He had always loved sitting on the sink when they were together, and just listen to Blaine sing while he was in the shower. This time Kurt could just make out the words to "Teenage Dream," and couldn't stop the tears running down his face. All the time he had missed with Blaine because of his own stupidity. Tonight, he knew, was going to be an emotional rollercoaster for both of them.
He had always been happy in school being Blaine Anderson's boyfriend. He had someone that loved him and always wanted to be with him. Blaine had always seemed proud to be with him, and Kurt had always been proud to be with Blaine. He had sometimes wondered why someone like Blaine, who could have had anyone they wanted, had wanted him.
Blaine had given him confidence with the love he showed him. Blaine had never been afraid to love hard, and to show that love no matter who was around them at the time. He had also given Kurt the courage to go after his dreams. To be what and who he wanted to be.
He had learned to be more secure in himself being Blaine's boyfriend. He had felt like he could do anything he wanted to do, be what he wanted to be. And how did he repay all the support, and love Blaine had shown him? He moved to New York and did the one thing he knew Blaine had been worried about. He said goodbye. After high school, living in that big city he had lost himself, lost his way, and in the process lost the person that meant the world to him.
Hearing the water turn off, Kurt went back into the living area and sat down on the couch. His jaw dropped when he saw Blaine walk out with nothing but a towel wrapped around his hips, running another one over his hair. He had almost forgotten how amazing Blaine's body was, and he had never been afraid to show that body to Kurt.
Kurt had always felt a little self-conscious of his body, well, until Blaine that is. He was always telling Kurt how beautiful he thought he was, dressed and undressed. He had gotten used to looking up and catching Blaine staring at him after a while. Staring at Blaine now under his lashes, trying not to be obvious, he felt his mouth go dry. He could tell just by looking at him that Blaine still worked out.
Kurt could only smile when he watched Blaine slip into a pair of Dalton lounge pants and a McKinley t-shirt. Leave it to Blaine to still have those. He remembered back to when they were both still at Dalton, and how they used to snuggle up in Blaine's room. Blaine always had a change of clothes ready for Kurt to put on.
The first time they had ever tried to do anything sexual, Blaine had gotten frustrated at how tight Kurt's pants were. He had tried to slip his hand under Kurt's waistband and couldn't. Kurt could still remember the groan that had slipped out of Blaine's mouth and almost laughed. He had tried to be so romantic and loving, and instead, he had just looked at Kurt shaking his head.
"I love your pants sweetheart, I love how your gorgeous ass looks in them," Blaine had whispered in his ear, "but I really want to see that gorgeous ass out of them."
After that, when Kurt went to see Blaine he always had some lounge pants laid out for him to put on. Kurt smiles thinking back to their happy days, when things were still new, back to when they were just starting to explore each other's bodies. Blaine had decided from that day on, Kurt needed to be 'comfortable' while he was there.
"You still wear them," Kurt said looking at Blaine, unable to hold back the smile crossing his face.
Blaine just laughed. "Yeah, I do. I can't seem to get away from them. I love being comfortable," he said, raising his eyebrows up and down. And at the moment Kurt knew Blaine was thinking about the same thing, he had been.
"You're still a nut," Kurt said laughing.
"And you still love me, so who's the bigger nut?" Blaine said starting to laugh, until he realized what he said and then laughing stopped. He just stood there staring at Kurt as the sadness he hadn't felt in a while slipped over him. "Sorry," Blaine whispered just as a knock sounded on the door.
He walked over to open it, while trying to wipe tears out of his eyes without Kurt noticing. Blaine knows he still feels that way, he is still so in love with Kurt, but that didn't mean that Kurt still loves him. Wishful thinking, he thought to himself, as he let the waiter roll in the tray.
"Give me a sec," Blaine said walking back towards the bedroom, Kurt watched as he picked up his wallet and pulled out a handful of bills before walking back into the room to hand them to the waiter. "Thanks so much," Blaine said with a smile.
"Thank you, Mr. Anderson. I hope you have a good night, sir," the waiter said before walking back out of the room.
Taking a deep breath Blaine turned around and looked at Kurt. He just wanted to pull him into his arms, and kiss him for the rest of the night, but he knew that wasn't possible and that really hurt. There had been a time when he wouldn't have thought anything about doing what he wanted, but Kurt wasn't his anymore, and he hadn't been for five years. Blaine wanted to crawl into bed and cry just thinking about what they had lost, but he didn't want to waste the time he had left with Kurt being sad.
"You ready to eat?" Blaine asked with a small smile trying to cheer up.
"Yeah," Kurt whispered back looking at the man he still loved.
Blaine pushed the tray closer to the table and set the plates and drinks on it. He waited for Kurt to sit down before sitting down himself and pulling the cover off of the plates. Kurt looked down and saw beef bourguignon and chocolate soufflé, and almost broke down. This had always been his favorite meal, and Blaine had actually ordered it for himself not knowing that Kurt would be here with him to eat it. He looked at Blaine questioningly.
"This is what you always ordered when we went to that French restaurant for our date nights. You always talked about how this was your favorite meal. Sometimes I order it just to remember," Blaine whispered, his face down so that Kurt couldn't see the tears building up in his eyes and trying to blink them away, not wanting to let them fall.
Every Saturday had been their date night. Most of the time they would go to Breadstix, but once a month Blaine would take Kurt to Andrés. He knew how much Kurt loved all things French and wanted them to have a special night once a month, something besides their normal date night to look forward too.
After their split, when Blaine started missing Kurt too much, he would do things they used to do together. He would go to a French restaurant wherever he was and ordered beef bourguignon and chocolate soufflé, and then usually spend the rest of the night watching Moulin Rouge, snuggled up with a pillow, wishing Kurt was with him. When he was heading out for the concert that afternoon, Blaine had really been missing Kurt. He ordered the one meal he knew would make him feel better, even if just while he was eating.
"Oh," Kurt whispered playing with the fork in front of him, waves of pain crashing down around him.
"Kurt, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I want us to enjoy the time we have together. I have missed you," Blaine said reaching out placing his hand over Kurt's before he could stop himself, gently squeezing it and then pulling his hand back.
"I missed you too, more than you will ever know," Kurt answered back looking at Blaine.
"So, do you live in Paris now, or are you just visiting?" Blaine asked trying to lighten the mood again.
"No, actually I am only here for a month. My boss was setting up a new shop and wanted me here to help get everything started. I have another week and then I will be going home," Kurt said with a smile. He had loved Paris, but he missed his own place, his friends and especially his cat. Plus, he had always hated living out of a suitcase.
"So, where is home?" Blaine asked taking a bite of his food, and then a sip of his wine.
"I still live in London. After school, I got a really good job working for a designer. He has several studios around the world. I really enjoy working for him, it is busy sometimes but I really like what I do," Kurt said with a smile.
"Anyone I would know," Blaine asked looking at Kurt, still not asking the one question he wanted the answer to the most. He was just not quite ready to hear that Kurt was in a relationship, that he wasn't free. The thought of anyone else touching Kurt hurt. He knows that it was wrong and maybe a bit hypocritical since he has been in other relationships, but Kurt had always just been his.
From what Kurt had told him before leaving New York, he had never been with Adam, but who's to say he hasn't been with someone else since then? It had been five years, and Kurt was gorgeous, he must have men all over him all the time.
"André Baptiste," Kurt said with a smile. He had met André, his third year of design school. He had been at a show set up by the school. They had talked for close to an hour and then André had asked him out. Kurt at first had hesitated, but then agreed. He had seen in the paper that day that Blaine was dating a guy named Bradon, and he had decided it was time to try to date someone again. He knew he needed to try to get on with his life the way Blaine apparently had, but it still hurt.
Being asked out by someone else had made him feel good about himself again, so he agreed. Kurt and André dated for three months, but then decided they were better off just being friends. When Kurt graduated, André offered him a job. Kurt loved working with him, he was a nut and had always reminded him a little of Blaine, not in looks, but in mannerisms.
"Oh wow, I actually have a couple of his pieces. I got them at a shop in LA. He has an amazing collection," Blaine said. He actually had bought several outfits, and loved the way they felt.
"Yeah, André is wonderful, and so creative," Kurt said with a big smile.
"Soo… are you two together?" Blaine asked trying to sound nonchalant, taking another bite of his food, not wanting Kurt to know how just that thought was tearing him apart.
"No, we dated for a few months, but then decided we were just better off being friends. He helps keep me grounded sometimes, and tells me when I am being stupid," Kurt said, knowing what André would say if he was here.
Kurt had told him about Blaine, about what had happened with their relationship. He knew André would tell Kurt to stay away, that there was too much pain on both sides, and that it was better to leave things alone before they hurt each other again. But Kurt couldn't do that. He needed Blaine, needed him in his life, if not as a boyfriend at least as his friend. He liked André, loved spending time with him, but he missed the conversations he and Blaine used to have about everything under the sun. He missed their connection.
"So are you dating anyone else," Blaine asked not looking at Kurt, raising his wine glass to his lips, taking a sip. Biting the bullet and asking the one question he could no longer wait for the answer to. He needed to know, even though he might not like the answer.
"No, I'm not seeing anyone. I dated someone for a little over a year but we broke up before I came here. He didn't want me to come to Paris. He was afraid that something would happen between me and André while we were here. I tried to tell him that André wasn't even coming on this trip. He tried to forbid me from coming. To say the least, we broke up," Kurt said looking down at his plate, fiddling with his fork again.
He didn't want to talk to Blaine about Tristan. That whole relationship had been a mistake from the day it started. Kurt had just been so lonely. He was tired of sitting at home alone with just his cat, so when Tristan asked him out for the second time, he had said yes. It had been a convenient relationship. Kurt had someone to spend time with, someone to talk on the phone with again, and he didn't feel like he was so alone in this world.
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Blaine said with words, but felt the complete opposite inside. Kurt was free. Bringing up his glass of wine, he took a big sip to cover the big smile he couldn't stop from spreading across his face.
"So, what about you?" Kurt asked Blaine.
"Unfortunately, my life and relationships are played out in the papers, on display for anyone to see. I try to keep my private life private, but that doesn't always work."
"Yeah, I saw in the paper where you and Matt broke up, I'm sorry," Kurt said wanting to say sorry, not sorry. But he didn't, he just took another bite of his food, pulling the soufflé over to him, laying down his fork and opting for a spoon instead. "Hmmm," he said after taking the first bite. This was the first time in over five years that he had had it. After the break-up, he couldn't bring himself to eat it; instead, he had opted for the New York cheesecake that he knew Blaine had always loved.
"No big deal, we had been over long before we ended it, technically it never should have started to begin with," Blaine said being honest. That relationship, even though almost a year old, should never have happened. He had just hated living alone so much. He had latched on to the first person that made him laugh. Too bad the laughter hadn't lasted.
Blaine and Matt had lived in the same apartment and shared the same bed, but shared nothing else. They each had separate lives, and toward the end, they hadn't really spent that much time together. The day Matt left had been the first time in over a month Blaine had even wanted to touch Matt, and the only reason he had done it then was because he needed to try to chase thoughts of Kurt out of his mind. Not that that had even been remotely what happened. It just made him miss Kurt that much more.
"That bad, huh?" Kurt said looking at Blaine.
"Not always, but we just didn't have a lot of time to spend together, between studio time recording new albums and then touring…" Blaine said looking at him.
"I guess that happens," Kurt said barely stopping a yawn. "Sorry," he said and Blaine watched as a beautiful blush crossed his face. He had missed that, watching as color flooded Kurt's cheeks. It used to make him want to pull him close and kiss him, and if he was being perfectly honest it still did.
Looking at his watch he looked at Kurt. "Well, you do have a reason to yawn. It's 2:00 in the morning after all," Blaine said looking at him.
"Shit, Blaine, I'm sorry I stayed so late, I'm sure you are tired after the concert tonight," Kurt said taking the last sip of his wine before standing up. He walked over to the couch where he had laid his jacket when they had first come in.
"Will I see you again before you leave?" Kurt asked softly, not really wanting to leave, but he had no right to stay, or even to ask to stay. He had given up that right 5 years ago, when he had broken Blaine's heart, and in the process broke his own.
"Kurt, it is late. Why don't you just stay here? I'm sure I have something you can wear to sleep in, and if you want I will sleep on the couch and you can have the bed," Blaine said hopefully. He was not ready for Kurt to walk out his door yet, well technically not ready for him to ever walk out of his door.
"I don't want to kick you out of your bed Blaine," Kurt said hesitating. He wanted to stay, but he didn't want Blaine to sleep on the couch. "That is a king-sized bed, I think we should both be able to sleep in it together. It wouldn't be the first time we have slept together," Kurt whispered.
"That's true. We spent several nights together as friends when Dalton hosted those slumber parties for the borders. If you're sure..." Blaine said happy, the thought of just holding Kurt making him smile.
"I'm sure," Kurt said with a smile. "Now, you said you had something I could wear?"
Blaine walked into the bedroom opened his suitcase and bit his bottom lip, a habit he had picked up from Kurt a long time ago. Slowly without looking at Kurt, he pulled out a McKinley t-shirt and lounge pants. Turning around and handing them to Kurt without looking at him. Kurt wondered why the mood in the room had changed until he looked down and realized he was holding his own clothes.
Kurt looked up at Blaine, back down to the clothes he was holding in his hands, and then slowly back up at Blaine again in complete shock. Blaine had kept them all this time.
"You left them at my house the last night you stayed there. I kept them because they were yours, and for the longest time they smelled like you," Blaine whispered looking at Kurt, feeling as once again tears rolled down his face, remembering their last night together.
Kurt had shown up at Blaine's house out of the blue. He had been in New York for two weeks and Blaine had already been missing him desperately. He had never gone more than a day without seeing Kurt other than when New Directions had gone to Nationals. Now it had been two weeks and Blaine already felt like he couldn't breathe. He knew it was because the separation was still so new. He knew he would eventually learn how to deal with his time without Kurt, but that morning he had just needed to talk to him.
He had tried several times to call and text Kurt, but never was able to contact him. Blaine had started wondering how he was going to be able to do this. How was he going to go a whole year without seeing Kurt at least once a day? He had spent that entire Saturday, near tears and feeling sorry for himself. He had binge-watched every Netflix show him and Kurt ever watched together until he fell asleep around ten.
Kurt had woken Blaine up crawling into his bed, pulling him close to him. "What is it, B? You have been calling me like crazy all day," he had said into the back of Blaine's head. Blaine had rolled over, took one look at Kurt and had held him tight.
"I just missed you so much," Blaine whispered, feeling like if he talked any louder Kurt would disappear.
"I'm here now, B," Kurt whispered back. That had been the last night Kurt and Blaine had made love.
The next morning, Kurt had asked to borrow some clean clothes so he could shower before going back home. He had helped Blaine fill out his NYADA application, gave him a long hard kiss and then was walking out the door, catching a cab and heading to the airport. It wasn't until later that day that Blaine realized Kurt had left his lounge clothes in his bathroom. Blaine still had a hard time believing that Kurt got on a plane to see him in those clothes.
Blaine remembers he had smiled as he carried them into the laundry room, wanting to wash them so that they would be ready when Kurt came back. He never did, though. That had been the last time Kurt had come to his house. Blaine had put them in his dresser, and when it was time to move to New York, he had taken them with him, still believing that somehow he and Kurt would work everything out, and be together again.
After the breakup, when he moved to California, he had taken them with him there as well. They had also gone with him on every single tour he had ever been on. Sometimes he would sleep in them when he needed to feel close to Kurt.
"I can't believe you kept them," Kurt said sadly not able to look at Blaine.
"I couldn't throw them out, Kurt. I know they're only clothes, but it's almost like they are a part of you. I had to keep them," Blaine said walking over, sitting on the side of the bed and running his hands through his hair, not able to look at Kurt.
"I still have your t-shirt and shorts," Kurt whispered, finally looking up at Blaine.
"What?" Blaine asked looking at Kurt, knowing he couldn't have heard right.
"The shorts and t-shirt I borrowed that next morning, I kept them. They're in my suitcase in my motel right now. I always take them with me," Kurt said softly, understanding more than Blaine could have realized.
"Oh," Blaine said looking at him, feeling just a little bit closer to Kurt.
"Yeah, oh. I'm going to change my clothes, I'll be right back," Kurt said standing up and walking into Blaine's bathroom, noticing right away the skin care products on Blaine's sink. Every one of them had been what Kurt had used in high school; none of the bottles had ever been used. With a smile, Kurt quickly cleaned his face and then walked back into the bedroom seeing that Blaine had pulled the blankets back and was waiting for Kurt to crawl in.
Once Kurt was in bed, Blaine slipped in between the cool sheets, turning the light off before rolling over and facing Kurt. He lay there for a few minutes undecided, and then gave up, reaching over and pulling Kurt to him, holding him tight, like he had done it last night instead of five long years ago.
He doesn't want to go to sleep, even though every fiber in his body was yelling for it. He didn't want to waste one precious second of the time he had with Kurt by sleeping. He closed his eyes, before fighting sleep again and opening them, so he could look at Kurt's beautiful face. He had missed him so much, and it was wonderful to have him back in his arms again. But where do they go from here? He was still on tour, and Kurt still lived in London.
Blaine felt his eyes slowly start to close again, thinking Kurt was already asleep, Blaine gently brushed the hair off of Kurt's forehead and whispered, "I have missed you so much. I love you, Kurt," before finally allowing his eyes to close and to drift off to sleep.
Kurt had heard every word, laying there as tears rolled down his face he whispered back, "I love you, too, Blaine," before closing his eyes and allowing sleep to pull him under.
