Right here waiting
Pairing: McRoll
Based on Season 9, episode 12.
Chapter seven
Sitting on the Lanai with the cup of coffee in her hand and another on the table next to her, Catherine waited for Steve to come in from his morning swim… Last night had felt so amazing and perfect and this conversation was going to be a little hard for him to hear.. It wasn't her saying she was leaving for good, but she wanted him to know that she had a non negotiable contact that meant she had to stay in the CIA for another year before she could decide to not renew and resign.
Their little tryst in the bathroom before bed had given her the chills every time she thought about it and replayed it in her head, every time he touched her, she melted, and felt like the most important woman in the world.. Like the only woman in his world. Knowing that he wasn't with Lynn anymore, it gave her so much hope for the two of them and so she only could hope that he would understand that she needed to leave later this week with the promise that she would come back when her contract with the CIA had expired.
Watching him with Eddie as they both came out of the water and then Eddie shaking off the water while Steve walked over and picked up his towel from the chair, she smiled softly.. It was a nice scene to watch so early in the morning.. "Good Morning", he leaned in and kissed her gently, his hand reaching to rest on her cheek before he stood up and rubbed the towel over his body to dry himself off.
"Good Morning to you too Sailor", She took a sip of her coffee and watched as he sat down on the seat beside her and pick up the hot coffee mug she had placed there not long before. "I feel we always have some kind of serious conversation out here", he noted as his eyes looked over at her, taking a sip of his own coffee before resting it in the palm of his hands to keep his cold hands warm.
It was his way of saying that he knew she had something to tell him, and she chuckled.. It was what Danny always said, they had a way of speaking a language all of their own that no one else understood. "I guess we do don't we". Aside from the conversation they had on the front steps, most of their serious talks were all done out here watching the water. Sighing softly, her hand grazed over his arm a little, and he moved his hand from his mug to let her take his in her hand, interlacing their fingers together.
"You know I love you don't you Steve?", she had to ask this question.. She knew he did, but still it was something she had to ask now, because she knew what she was going to ask of him was going to be tough and she needed to know that he was going to be okay with waiting for her for just a little longer.. Squeezing her hand, he looked at her, putting his coffee on the table, "Cath, I know that you love me.. last night made that quite clear if it wasn't beforehand", he added smirking softly at her, and chuckling.
Once his soft laughter had died down a little he looked at her again, noting her serious expression, "Cath? What is it babe?", they didn't often use the cute baby/babe nicknames to each other, Catherine usually called him Steve, and then as a special thing between them, they often used their rank, and Catherine used Sailor as well, so whilst it wasn't usual for him to call her babe, it was something that he called her in more serious times like this.
Turning to face him in her chair, she took a breath, her fingers grazing over his, rubbing his hand gently. "Before I say this, I need you to just hear me out okay?", not that Steve had ever interrupted her while speaking, she just wanted to get it all out before he began assuming the wrong thing. "Of course Cath, whatever you say, I'm not going anywhere".
Hearing him say that meant a lot to her since she needed to know and feel safe knowing he wasn't going to leave her, or say he couldn't wait again for her. "I've still got roughly about a year left on this contract with the CIA, at the time they made me sign a non negotiable contract that couldn't be changed". She took another breath, trying to gauge his reaction before she said another word. "After I visit with Grace, I'll need to head back to Washington".
She was nervous at telling him that, though when she looked up at him, all she could see was understanding and maybe a little disappointment but not anger, "I'm not going anywhere Cath, I made a mistake when I told you I couldn't wait anymore for you when you left after Kono's wedding, I'm not going to do that again". He squeezed her hand and gazed into her eyes, "You are planning on leaving though when your contract is up?"
The nervous energy coming off him was really obvious. He wanted to let her have her independence and at the same time, wanted her to be with him here on the island. After having lived pretty much all of her life moving around as a kid with her father in the Navy and then her as an adult with the Navy and then the CIA, she was ready to settle down.
"Steve", she began lightly, her smile and intense gaze telling him not to worry, "As soon as I am able to submit my resignation and walk away from the CIA, I will be on the first flight back over here. I'm ready to settle down Steve and to live my life to it's fullest with you by my side".
He was her true love, her soul mate and her best friend, they were friends before they began a relationship and whilst it had been rocky for a while there, their friendship remained strong even when they weren't a couple. "If I could leave the CIA right now, I would, there is nothing I want more than to come back here and make Hawaii my forever home", she added, leaning in to him and kissing his lips gently. "I love you Steve and nothing will change that.. I promise you that I will be home for good before you know it".
Looking into her eyes, he was struggling a little, part of him wanted to believe it and the other half remembered what happened when she said something similar when she left to join the CIA. "I want to believe that so badly Cath". His voice was filled with a desperate desire to believe every word she said to him. Standing up, she closed the distance between them and sat on his lap, her arms wrapping around his neck.. "I know I have put doubts in your mind over my intentions, I wish I could change that, I just really want you to have faith in me and in us.. I know it's a lot to ask and I shouldn't even be asking you this because I know it's hard for you to put your trust in me at the moment".
Wrapping his own arms around her waist, he kissed her softly, deepening the kiss, closing his eyes and then slowly opening them once he pulled away from her lips. "I love you Cath, I'm sorry I have these doubts.. I just remember the feeling of you coming home for Kono and Adam's wedding, and planning to propose to you.. The day you left, it was the day I got the ring, I had it in my pocket in that moment you told me you were leaving".
Sighing, he looked down for a moment.. Emotions and feelings and expressing them weren't his forte, "I didn't deal with it well at all.. It felt like we were two strangers passing on a boat, I was going one way, you the other". He didn't want to lose her, but he did want to be sure that it wasn't going to happen again.
"I know Steve, and I promise you this time /will/ be different, you just need to trust me", nodding her head and looking into his eyes, her heart racing a thousand miles.. "I want us to have a life together, being with you after Joe and now.. It all makes sense to me, you just need to give me time to wrap up my time with the CIA, can you do that for me Sailor?"
Leaning in and kissing her again, their warm breaths mingling together, leaning his forehead on hers, he nodded.. "If it means having you here permanently at the end of twelve months, I can do that". It was going to be hard, but he couldn't lose her for good, not this time, and not because of his own insecurities. "I love you Catherine, and as long as I have you, I'll wait.. but rest assured, I will be FaceTiming you, texting you, calling you.. coming out and visiting you when I can.. if you can handle all that I mean.", he smirked chuckling a little.
"Ohh I can handle it, bring it on Sailor". Before anything more could be said, Joanie came rushing out to them and ran straight into Catherine's arms, Cath pulling her up onto Steve's lap so that they each had a knee they were sitting on.. "Can we visit Gracie today please?" She asked hopefully, putting her head to a sideways tilt and her hands clapped together against her cheek looking as cute as she could.
"Yes munchkin, we can visit Gracie today, Uncle Danno said she will be ready for visitors when visiting hours start in a few hours, so why don't we go get dressed, and I'll shout us all breakfast at your favourite pancake place". Joanie jumped up and down on her Uncle's knee and then leaned in to kiss him, "Thanks Uncle Steve, you're the best". Then leaning in to kiss Catherine on the cheek, she whispered, "So are you". Catherine rubbed her nose against Joanie's and whispered back, "You're the best too, Shhh don't tell Uncle Steve".
With that, she jumped off Steve's knee and raced back inside to her mother to tell her to get ready for breakfast.. "And what were you two whispering?", Steve asked, pretending to have not heard a word of that, "It's a secret Uncle Steve", Getting off his lap, she held her hand out, "Now let's go get ready before we have Joanie on our cases about not being ready on time". The two walked arm in arm back inside to get ready for breakfast and then a visit with Grace.
Author Notes:
Thanks for your patience with me on this one, I have been busy running around writing new stories and keeping other ones up to date that I haven't worked on this one in a bit.. I hope you like this chapter and the next one.. I sat down and began writing and it just basically wrote itself, especially chapter 8. The support I have gotten for all of these stories, I feel so blessed people like them enough to read them and put them in their follow and favourite list.. That to me is a huge compliment because it means you go back and re-read them at some point. Thank you so very much, I keep getting the creativity because of you guys.
SteveMcGarrettLover:
I am so glad you enjoyed the hug and the way I wrote it.. I will be thinking of my version next time I watch it as well. I'm so happy you enjoyed chapter 6 as well. I am always happy to surprise you like that as much as I can. I really hope you like the good heart to heart they had in chapter 7, I know you wanted me to have that talk between them and make sure it was clear why she had to leave and that she is promising to come back. As anyone that's read One for Sorrow so far, we know she has kept her word.
