A/N Oof! I forgot how hard it was to keep everything straight. Haha!
Updates every Saturday, so make sure you don't miss last week's chapter! Hope you enjoy~
Even though in this story I've made it so Vio and Shadow aren't the same person and aren't even related, their relationship still bothers me . . .
Ganondorf had never had a whole team of scientists to work for him. He liked it. With them doing most of the tedious work, he was able to focus on devising ways to extend Shadow's life. The majority of his work was to open a way to the Dark Realm, of course. Not only that, but Grizzelda wanted him to figure out what exactly was on the other side, to give them any indication of what they'd be opening to. Ganondorf couldn't care less, honestly, but he owed her a favor. He didn't know what strings she had to pull to be able to see Shadow more often, but she'd pulled them, and likely lost some favor in the council to do so. He owed her. He would pay her back.
Every two seconds for the last hour, it seemed, he glanced at the clock. At four o' clock, Shadow's visiting time would start.
"What are you working on, Dragmire?"
He didn't give the senator the satisfaction of a flinch. "Not sure you'd understand it, Johannes."
Senator Harkinian's eyes became slits above his steel grey beard. "Try me."
"I'm manipulating that sample we pulled from the Dark Realm." Lies. "With it, I can determine what sort of place the Dark Realm is." More lies. "That's what you want, isn't it?"
Johannes nodded his head. "Quite good, quite good. Carry on."
Idiot, Ganondorf thought as the senator moved away. Always checking on him, monitoring him, but he had no clue what was happening. The man liked too much control. If he were smart, he'd stick actual magicians and sorcerers in here to monitor him.
Oh wait. They'd been exiled and their magic banned over a generation ago. Any magic that wasn't Hylian was of course considered evil, and the Gorons and Zoras and Ritos accepted it because their peoples had no actual magic to be taken. Only the Gerudo, Fairies, and Yiga clan had magic. He still remembered the raid, the one on his own home. He watched them take his mother, and watched her partner, the Hylian scum that turned her in, walk out the door with a single, unconcerned glance at him.
That man had been his father, and he hated him more than any other creature on earth.
It gave him some satisfaction, then, that these idiots were being forced to use his magic to get what they wanted, and they didn't know anything about it. He could do practically whatever he wanted under their noses, but he was still their dog, and that left a bitter taste in his satisfaction.
As time went on, he learned his Hylian scientist partners were basically useless outside of their petty science and Hylian magic. That wouldn't work here. He knew who could help, but to reveal them and their abilities would put them in danger. His godmothers, of course. Koume, Kotake. They weren't able to take in every Gerudo scamp left homeless and parentless after the purge of magic, but they tried. He wasn't one they were able to house, but when they could, they taught him magic. He visited them as little as possible, to protect them, but right now, he could really use their help. For Shadow.
The only other options he had were the Sheikah, perhaps someone from Lorule, that Twilight Princess perhaps, and Vio.
He looked away from the clock, at the purple-coated youth, poring through his glasses, eyes hidden behind the lamp glares. Ganondorf thought he should be surprised that Grizzelda had allowed a child in here, but he wasn't. Vio was the only one here with any competence, despite being a Hylian. The boy stood back from the microscope with a sigh, pulling off his gloves, his Triforce of Courage standing starkly in relief on the back of one.
Ganondorf smirked, thinking of his own Triforce. The Hero and the Villain, working together. Not with swords, and shields, but with beakers and syringes.
What a strange world we live in.
A blaring organ chord announced the arrival of four o' clock. As if he needed it. But he didn't want someone to distract him and then lose precious time. He glanced around quickly, then filled a syringe with a black, magic serum. He hid it in his inside vest pocket—labcoats were for for Hylians.
"Dragmire!" Johannes called. "Before you leave, you need to check the others' work."
Ganondorf ignored him, walking to the door of the lab and pressing the button that would bring down the lift.
"Dragmire!"
He rounded on the senator. "They're the best you're blasted country's got, Johannes. You saying they need a babysitter?" The two men glared at each other, a staring contest, until the lift arrived. "I am going to my son."
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Vio turn an ear, slightly. The boy never betrayed a single emotion, to the point Ganondorf wondered if he even had them, but he noticed this from a mile away. Ganondorf gave him a sympathetic nod before entering the lift.
It was a secret lift, one that exited to his organ room. It was the secret entrance Shadow and his friends could have used to get to his most secret lab at the bottom level of his mansion. He grinned gleefully that they'd never found it. Some parts of being a mad scientist never got old. Secret lab exits were one of them.
He left the organ room and went into the living room, glancing at the couch, then the kitchen. Shadow wasn't there, and for a moment he wondered if his son didn't feel like coming, and he freaked out.
"Dad?"
Heart leaping inside his chest, he looked at Shadow's bedroom door, still hanging off its hinges. He felt guilt. Then shoved it aside. Shadow peeked around the door from his bed, curiously, anticipation written all over his face.
Of course Shadow would be in his room. Of course.
Ganondorf rushed to the room, but Shadow was faster. He hurled himself against his father's chest, trying to wrap his skinny arms all the way around him and failing. Ganondorf held him close, holding his head protectively against his chest. He kissed the boy's head over and over, felt him shaking, felt him tense up as he tried to hold in his tears like most teenage boys would.
Ganondorf didn't.
Soon Shadow wasn't able to hold it in, and he sobbed.
They hadn't been able to hug in months, or even touch each other. Ganondorf thought of all the time he'd wanted to punch through the bulletproof glass in that damn visitation room, how many times Shadow had tried to reach through it.
They didn't really speak, those first precious minutes. It was in both their heads, but mostly Ganondorf's. If he pretended, being in their house as they were, he could almost forget that he was an inmate, almost forget about the labwork downstairs, almost forget that his son was dying slowly in his arms. He could pretend that everything was like it was before, before Shadow knew about his past, or his crimes, before he'd been so scared he'd moved in with Link to get away. He held his fragile son, still so small, so young, you could never convince him otherwise, pretending it was just a normal day.
Shadow let go first, head bowed, because he was ashamed of his tears.
Ganondorf leaned down and brushed them aside, looking into his face so Shadow could see the tears in his own eyes. "Hello, son," he said.
Shadow grinned, and Ganondorf smiled. "Hey, Dad!"
"Were you waiting for long?"
His son blushed slightly. "I kind of waited all day."
"You didn't go to school?" There was no anger in his voice, but Shadow looked guilty, anyway. Ganondorf smiled and pulled him into a hug again. He didn't care. Right now, he didn't care what his son did. However he chose to cope with the madness thrown at him, this damn heart failure, his father's incarceration, however he got through it, Ganondorf would be no judge for him. "I'm glad you felt comfortable here."
They pulled apart, and Shadow shrugged. "Yeah, it's almost like normal. We're at home, and nobody else is here."
That made Ganondorf grin. They'd been thinking the same thing. "Want some food?"
Shadow gave a tremulous laugh. "Ew! You always make animal food!"
Ganondorf laughed. "I think there's still plenty of Rabbitland Snacks in the pantry."
"I haven't eaten them all?!"
They retrieved the snacks, then Shadow went to the fridge. "Granny made us some food, though."
"Really? I'm starving!"
"It's vegan, though."
". . . Crap." But he was grinning. When was the last time they had a meal together? "Do you want to watch a movie, or . . .?"
"I just want to talk."
"Okay. Me too."
They had a normal time, sitting on the couch in the living room, eating food together. Ganondorf asked about life, Shadow rattled on, the time passed too quickly. Near the end, though, Shadow began asking him questions. About time in jail, which he only answered guardedly, about his work, which he avoided, and about his magic. "Sheik said you have Gerudo magic, but it's been banned. Why's it been banned? Do you think I can do it someday?"
So many difficult questions with even more difficult answers. "Probably not," Ganondorf answered the most immediate one. "Unfortunately, you're not Gerudo, and that's somewhat of a requirement for Gerudo sorcery. However, you could do regular sorcery."
Shadow stuck his tongue out. "But I wouldn't ever be as powerful as you, right?"
He chuckled. "Unfortunately, no."
"Darn it!" He set down his fork and made 'magic' gestures in the air. "If I could do magic, NO animal cages could stop me."
Shadow the sorcerer, using magic to save the animals. Of course he'd find a peaceful way to use black magic. Only he could. "Shadow, there are two people I'd like you to meet."
"Oh?"
Ganondorf flicked a switch on his watch. Whoever was listening in on their conversation, and likely some Hylian idiot was, they couldn't anymore. He had turned on interference. Let them wonder why their instruments didn't work. When they figured it out, would they dare try to confront him?
Probably not.
"Their names are Koume and Kotake, Gerudo grandmothers."
"You mean Nabooru's grandmothers?"
Ganondorf looked at him in surprise. "You know Nabooru?"
Shadow gaped back. "YOU know Nabooru?!"
Ganondorf explained how the grandmothers were his godmothers, how they'd taught him magic, but he warned Shadow to tell no one he was going there. He didn't tell Shadow that his godmothers knew magic, in case his interference failed, but if he made it to their house, his godmothers could do the rest. They'd take care of him the same way they'd taken care of Ganondorf. He knew it.
"One more thing," Ganondorf said, getting up from the couch and setting his food tray down.
"What, I'm not done!" Shadow complained, stuffing an extra large spoonful of food in his mouth before jumping up as well.
"It'll just take a second." He wanted to get it done as soon as possible, just in case. "Let's go to your room."
Once there, he looked in every corner and crevice, inside the vents as well, for cameras. He found a few and disabled them.
"They were watching me?" Shadow said, looking first outraged, then grossed out. "That's disgusting! What if I'd been changing? Ew!" He hugged himself.
Ganondorf grunted, not wanting to open his mouth, because anti-Hylian slurs would come out. Shadow was Hylian. Ravio was Hylian. Hilda was Hylian. Link was Hylian. Aryll was Hylian. He couldn't afford to be racist, even if he considered them of his own, and not Hylian. They were too good to be Hylian, and Shadow had been raised as a Gerudo, at least casually. Ganondorf didn't see his son and think "Hylian." He was too open minded for that label.
After securing the door tightly into the doorframe and making sure it wouldn't fall open by propping a chair next to it, Ganondorf turned to Shadow and reached into his vest pocket. "There's something I need to give you," he said carefully, by way of warning.
Shadow raised his eyebrow at the tone, and watched warily as Ganondorf pulled the syringe out of his vest. He paled. "That's—"
"This is how I've kept you alive." Ganondorf glanced away briefly. "Normally I inject you in your sleep. I never wanted you to know in case someone found out and tried to use that knowledge against you." He removed the syringe's lid, exposing the long needle.
Shadow stepped back. He wasn't alien to needles anymore. He'd been poked and prodded his whole life, especially recently, after his heart attack. They still scared the crap out of him, but he'd stepped back because of what was inside the syringe. "Isn't that made out of animals?"
"It's made of shadow essence, and yes, some animal remains were used in the process."
Shadow put a hand on his neck, as if to protect himself from the injection. He looked uncertain.
"You'll live longer with it. You'll die without it."
"But—but what about Krad? Does this have Krad in it?"
"Don't ask, Shadow. You shouldn't know."
Shadow glanced away from the needle, thinking, eyes scrambling, blinking quickly.
Ganondorf didn't press him. He knew it would be better if Shadow would accept it willingly. He'd force the injection if he had to, but he really, really, really didn't want to. He didn't want to invade his son's space, and even though he thought veganism was idiotic, he didn't want to disrespect his son's belief. Shadow was no idiot. He knew that Krad's heart was involved. It was the last bit Ganondorf had in his stores. There was no chance of getting any more. Shadow's expression was blanking. He couldn't process what was happening, Ganondorf knew he wouldn't. He put a hand gently on the side of Shadow's face, and turned it back toward him. "Shadow," he said, and the boy's eyes raised to his. "Listen to your father. None of this is your fault. Do as I say. Trust me."
The conflict on Shadow's face cleared, accepting that he could just do as his father said, and not take any blame. Is father would be responsible. He nodded.
Ganondorf pulled out an antiseptic cloth and wiped a spot on Shadow's neck. "Move your hair."
Shadow pulled it to the side, exposing his neck obediently. He didn't move as Ganondorf inserted the needle, only grimaced, then scrunched his eyes shut in discomfort as Ganondorf pushed the serum out of the syringe and into his neck.
Once it was done, Ganondorf removed the needle, threw the whole thing in the sharps deposit in Shadow's bathroom, the one they'd put there after he'd returned from the hospital, washed his hands, and came back out, all smiles and grins. "Why don't we go back to the living room!" He wanted Shadow to forget what just happened as soon as possible.
Shadow was rubbing his neck where the injection had been. "Dad . . ."
For the love of Nayru! "Yes, Shadow?"
"You . . . You did all this for me."
Wait. This wasn't going where he thought it had been. He'd thought Shadow was going to ask him about his animal experiments—his experiments against Krad, the shadow being whose heart he'd stolen to save Shadow's.
"The experiments," Shadow continued, "The magic, the torture, everything."
He took Shadow's elbows and sat on the bed, looking directly in his eyes. "Everything is worth it where you are concerned, Shadow."
"But Dad, you got arrested. You got arrested. It's . . . my fault."
Ganondorf wanted to crush the skulls of every Hylian who banned his magic, who cursed Gerudos, whoever was responsible for putting his son through this—
He wanted to crush his own skull!
"Shadow," he took Shadow's face in his hands. "I am your father. I am, I always will be. Do you have any idea how much I love you, boy? I would do anything, I would kill for you, I would die for you. I would die a hundred—no, a thousand times!"
"Dad, I—"
"This is nothing! Don't worry about me. I'm not suffering. I do this gladly. Everything I've done, I do it gladly, for you, and I'd do it again, and more. Do you understand me?"
Shadow looked at him in some kind of awe.
"I am your father," Ganondorf said. For a moment, he remembered that glance, the one his own father had given him, the last he'd seen of him. That careless glance. Ganondorf gazed intently into Shadow's wide eyes. There had never been a question whether he would love his own son. He'd known he would love him before he even existed. "This is what fathers do," Ganondorf said. "Don't trouble yourself about it anymore. Don't even think of guilt. Promise me you won't."
"Yes, sir," Shadow responded, and he fell forward into Ganondorf's arms.
The Twili library was the closest thing Midna had to a home. The ancient texts smelled of magic, and dust, and, she imagined, smelled like the Twilight Realm, the place she didn't remember, but knew she'd been born in. It was a strange, but beautiful smell, comforting, unlike anything in Hyrule. It was only in the Twili library she could smell it.
She breathed in deeply, turning another page in the giant tome. "You almost done over there?"
A small series of thumps, and a high, tinny voice replied, "Yes, Twilight Princess!"
"Good, I really need to know the answer to my question."
The spindly figure of Zant appeared around the corner of a bookshelf, carrying two more tomes in his arms. He padded excitedly over to her spot at the desk and set the books down. He grinned, his mouth splitting open in the way only Twili males' mouths do. "I think I found it!"
Midna held in a sigh. As much as she hated Zant, he was the only one she could trust right now. Which was the weirdest thing she'd ever thought in her life. He liked her enough that he would keep their conversations mostly secret, but stupid enough that he wouldn't give away any real details if he spilled to the council anyway.
She didn't want anyone knowing about her increased powers yet.
It was well known among the Twili royalty that the Ancestral Powers could open, close, and destroy the Twilight Mirror, the one pathway between the Twilight Realm and Hyrule. Midna didn't know how the mirror was broken to begin with, no one really did, but she had always assumed she just wasn't powerful enough to fix it.
Now she wasn't so sure.
She had so many terrible questions. One, why was the Mirror broken, and who broke it? Two, why did she end up with the Lorulean Triforce of Power? Three, why did it suppress her powers? Four, was the fact that it COULD suppress her powers the reason she was given it? Five, if so, who had given it to her, and why did they want to keep the Mirror closed by suppressing her powers?
The answers, she knew, would cause extreme political uproar, and she wasn't sure she was ready for them. But, she was the Twilight Princess. Fear never stopped her before. More than that, she missed her parents. She didn't even know if they were alive. No one did. If she could open the Mirror, she could find them. She could have a family. Her people would no longer be a minority in Hyrule, oppressed by Hyrulean rule, oppressed by the cursed light. They would have a whole country to themselves, and the ability to trade.
That is, if there was still a country on the other side.
She grabbed the top tome of the two Zant brought. It seeped with Twili magic, more than any other book, the geometric letters on its cover glowing with green magic. How Zant convinced the elders to confide in him the secret hiding places of their ancient texts was beyond Midna, but for once she was glad about his cunning. She read the ancient Twili title with some trouble. The Guarded History of the Twili in Hyrule. She looked up at Zant. "You can't tell ANYONE about this, ok?"
Zant put his hands behind his back and shook his head. "Of course not, princess." He leaned over her shoulder as she opened the book and began to read. "But might I ask, why are you so interested in this? Didn't the elders warn you against researching about the time we were trapped here?"
She glanced sideways at him. "Does that make sense to you?"
Zant's mouth closed in a straight line.
"You know it as well as I do. They warn us against it because knowing the truth could be dangerous. The Hylians have us by the throat. They want to keep us, keep our magic, contained. Why?"
His eyes thinned. The same question had of course crossed his mind. Zant's hunger for power was only equal to his hunger for magic. He nodded, and opened the other ancient tome, sitting down next to her, his eyes flying across the pages greedily.
She knew he wouldn't go to the council.
The book she looked at was in code. Of course. In case the book got into the wrong hands—Hylian hands. She took a deep breath. It would take them hours to decode it.
Shadow sat on the couch in his dad's lab, reading a guitar magazine. When their time was up, he'd begged his father to let him come down into the lab with him. Shadow couldn't explain it. He hated the labs, but he knew there were no animals in it now. The Hyrulean government wouldn't allow animals to be used for this purpose. Maybe monsters, but not animals. But right now there was none of that. Which made Shadow glad. He wanted to be around his dad, but he wasn't ready to see what he did for a living right now.
Several things had happened. His father let him come down, as long as he promised not to get in the way, because then the Hylians might force Shadow to leave. Shadow agreed, whole heartily. Then his father told him that Vio was down there.
Vio was down here . . .
He glanced over the magazine at Vio, who sat on a stool, putting endless amounts of samples onto glass slides. Shadow id behind the magazine again. Then glanced over it. Then hid. He wasn't sure what to make of it. He knew Vio had been involved in his dad's research, it's how he captured Krad, which was the catalyst to Ganondorf's arrest and the beginning of this whole mess. He also knew that Vio tortured animals.
He still had the stench from his lab stuck in his brain, brought up pretty easily by these blank white walls and metal tables. Every time he looked at Vio, he saw the dead bodies of all those animals, cut up and dripping blood into buckets on the floor. Shuddering, he shook his head of it, and tried to focus on his magazine.
Vio, for his part, found it extremely difficult to concentrate. He hated Ganondorf for doing this to him—had to constantly tell himself it had nothing to do with him—for bringing Shadow down here. He didn't want Shadow here.
He wanted Shadow here.
He didn't want Shadow here! Every time he saw out of the corner of his eye, saw Shadow glance at him, he wanted to glance back. Wanted to rip the magazine out of his face. Wanted to tell him to get the fuck out, to run, to escape. Wanted to hold him down so he couldn't.
His hand slipped, toppling a whole rack of vials, which smashed onto the floor.
Damn it!
Hours of work, down the drain.
He couldn't work like this. Shoulders slumping, he looked wearily at Shadow.
Shadow was looking at him, startled by the noise.
Their eyes met. Vio's resolve melted. The only thing keeping him from running to Shadow now was Shadow's expression. Disgust. Fear. Confusion. It kept him from running.
But he still walked.
Shadow sat up and scooted to the edge of the couch, ready to run away, but he didn't.
Vio stood next to him. Punch him! No, Ganondorf's here. Yell! Scare him off! I don't want to. Kiss him! But—
Ganondorf watched him carefully from his seat, trying to puzzle why the two weren't speaking to each other when they so obviously liked each other. What happened? Specifically, what did Vio do?
Shadow didn't know what to think. Vio had clearly wanted him gone, and even now, he was angry. He was staring at him, angry. It was terrifying. Why was he angry? Did he want Shadow to leave? But why did he just stand there, staring at him? Shadow wasn't doing anything, he was just sitting here, trying to be with his dad. He hadn't said anything, hadn't done anything.
Why was Vio here?!
"I can't work with you here," Vio said.
His heart beat against his chest wildly. Shadow gulped and looked away. "I'm sorry." He looked back up, a vicious look in his eyes. "But I'm not leaving."
Vio's cheeks flushed. He spun on his heel and returned to his table, suddenly able to focus. He hated when people told him no, so why when Shadow did it did his heart start to pound? Every time!
It didn't matter. Shadow could stay. As long as he stayed away, didn't try to speak to him.
But he stared. Why did he stare?! Vio drank in the attention, trying not to show off, but he couldn't help it. He went about his work, adding flourishes and making poses he wouldn't have if he were alone. He wanted Shadow to stare at him. Maybe he could get him to come over—
No!
Especially not when he was working. When he worked, he let his thoughts take control. He didn't care about people, or feelings, or right, or wrong. He only cared about his research.
This was the most dangerous place for Shadow to be!
Ganondorf had told Shadow to stay out of the way, but there hadn't been any actual rules about it. So when Shadow sidled up next to him quietly, he didn't object.
"Dad, why is he here?" Shadow whispered. The wary glare he sent Vio, had been sending Vio for the last half an hour, surprised even Ganondorf. He didn't even glare at him that way.
Ganondorf whispered back, not stopping his current task, "Vio is the only other person in the world who knows about as much about the Dark Realm and its magic as I do. He's also the only one I can trust with our specific problem," by which they both knew he meant Shadow's heart. "He is needed. I warned you before you came down."
Shadow didn't reply. "He scares me."
That's what it was. The glare. It wasn't hatred. It was fear. Terror, even. Why was Shadow terrified of Vio? And yet, there wasn't just terror. There was hurt. "You care about him, don't you?"
Shadow ripped his eyes away just for a moment, just to look openly at Ganondorf. "He's mean, and talks me into doing stupid things, and he hurts animals."
"But you care about him."
Shadow lowered his eyes. "Yes."
"You know," Ganondorf said, still quietly, still not taking a break from his task, to keep the Hylians off his tail, "he can't do anything to you here. If you want to speak to him, want to clear the air, you certainly can." Now was the only time he looked away from his task. "Just don't be alone with him, and not outside this lab. Okay?"
Shadow nodded, looking back at Vio, with less fear, now. Maybe hope.
Ganondorf wasn't sure he wanted Shadow and Vio together, but he knew it was better to address things than ignore them, and it was clear the two boys still had a lot between them that needed sorting out. Better to do it here, under supervision, than anywhere else.
Part of him wanted to root for Vio, though. He liked the boy. He didn't know what he'd done, aside from offend Shadow's vegan sensibilities, but he wanted to know. For that, he needed to watch. Shadow had said the boy was mean, and he did convince Shadow to sneak out, and drink, and who knew what else. But Shadow cared about him. Why? Was there any hope in Vio, at all?
Ganondorf liked to think so.
Vio tensed more and more until Shadow stood right next to him. He stood there, completely disregarding everything Vio had said. "Why are you here?!" Vio snapped roughly. "I told you—"
"Come on," Shadow replied. "What are you gonna do? My dad's right there. If you do something, he'll literally kill you."
He would. Vio knew he would.
That . . . might be enough, he realized. Might be enough to stop his brain.
It worked.
It worked.
He put his work aside and removed his gloves. He couldn't work with Shadow here, couldn't risk losing himself in it. He didn't care about hurting anyone else, aside from the fact that it would get him in trouble, and he would lose rights to being here. But anyways, he didn't want to work right now. He turned to Shadow. Found he had nothing to say.
He hadn't expected to ever be in a place with Shadow that felt safe, where his brain wasn't trying to talk him into hurting him. He didn't know what to do.
Shadow watched all this play out on Vio's face: first his anger disappeared, then his fear. Then there was hope, and now there was Vio, the Vio he remembered, open faced, curious, interested in him, his thoughts. Disbelief. Yeah, that was there, too. Shadow stepped forward cautiously, then wrapped his arms around Vio, laying his head on his shoulder. Vio twitched under him, and at first Shadow thought Vio might hug him back, but he didn't. Shadow pulled away, but kept his hands on Vio's shoulders. "Vio," he asked. "Why do you want to hurt me?"
Vio looked at him, unabashadly. Confused why he was still here. "It's just how my brain thinks. I like to hurt people. I like to hurt things."
"I understand."
"What?" Vio's brow furrowed. How could Shadow know? How could he know anything? Why was he here?
Shadow folded his arms. "It's how your brain works, and you can't control it. You don't care about people, you don't care about pain. Of course it wouldn't bother you to hurt people. It's not that difficult to get. I just thought . . ."
"What?" Vio asked, hating himself for wondering. "You thought what?"
"I thought you'd be different around me. I guess that's pretty stupid."
"Yeah, it is. Why the fuck would you be any different to me?"
Shadow flinched. Vio hated him for flinching. He also enjoyed Shadow flinching. Then he hated himself. "Well," Shadow continued, carefully, trying to keep his voice steady. "You're here, trying to help my dad."
"I'm just curious. That's all. About the Dark Realm." Maybe if Vio said it enough, it would be true. Giving a damn about Shadow was a weakness, he couldn't allow himself to—
Why was he smiling like that?
"Gosh, Vio, how do you keep secrets from everybody? It's so easy to tell when you're lying."
This was it. This was why. Shadow knew when he was lying, even when he believed his own lies. He wanted to be seen through, he wanted that so much, but this thing, this thing—
For the first time, Vio saw his violence as separate from himself. His lack of caring, his sociopathic tendencies, his need to kill animals, to cause pain, to distance himself from everyone. That wasn't him. That wasn't who he wanted to be!
Wait, who was he? Was there two of him?
He became dizzy, suddenly. The one side of him that wanted Shadow, that side didn't hurt, so he indulged it, despite the threats coming from his other side. Surging forward, he hugged Shadow to himself, tightly, as if that might save him, might answer his questions. If Shadow could see who he truly was, whoever the fuck that was, maybe he could see himself as well, this other side, the side that didn't want to hurt Shadow, didn't want him to die.
His eyes shot open and he pulled away sharply. He turned from Shadow, refusing to look at him anymore. "I have to work. I have to work." He saw Shadow fold his arms and nod, then finally, finally! walk away. He deflated, sitting in a chair and covering his face with his hands. He was exhausted. Shadow always exhausted him.
See? He's holding you back.
Shut up.
You always listen to me. I'm the only one you can trust.
Shut up!
A/N So many hugs in this chapter! uwu
