CHAPTER TWO

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WHEN ANOMIE AWOKE SHE WAS SURROUNDED BY THE BRIGHT WHITE LIGHT OF an empty room. The ceiling was tiled, and clean without a single spec of dirt, and she found her gaze running down to the bright walls and the tiled floor. She slowly noticed two doors, one leading to a hallway, judging by the people walking back and forth through the small window, and another door, probably leading to a bathroom.

She glanced down and saw an IV in her arm and rope, tying each wrist to the bed. A feeling of panic welled up her throat, an all encompassing panic and horror spreading over her body like static. Her brows furrowed as she instantly tried to tug them off, but a jolt of pain flooded through her weakened arms and she lost the strength to continue. She groaned, laying her head back against her pillow. The horror and confusion had spread, leaving her in a state of desperation. It was clawing at her, and slowly the memories all came, not one after another, but more so a horrid torrent of memories. It left an overwhelming sensation, leaving her gasping for air.

Ohashi's throat had been slit, but only a shallow cut to the left side of her neck. It had been a gruesome sight, an unfitting end to a powerful woman. Anomie trembled with the memories, with the sound of her only friend's gasp, her horrid moans of pain, and it all filled her head. Anomie had held her hand, watched as Ohashi cried, dying there where she didn't deserve to be.

"You're awake!" came the excited voice of Rin, as the girl entered the room with an arm full of flowers. She rushed to the tied girl's side, placing the flowers on the nightstand before facing the other girl. "I was so worried. On the way back you started convulsing...we thought you weren't going to make it...I was scared."

"Why am I tied up?" Anomie asked, finding that her throat didn't hurt nearly as much as it once did. Rin sheepishly scratched her head, an apologetic expression filtering over her face.

"Well, when we brought you here...you woke up...we don't blame you...but you sort of went violent and wouldn't stop hitting and kicking." Rin said, causing Anomie to nod in return, trying to block out her own panic.

"I see." Anomie didn't see anything. She took a shaky breath, staring up at the blindingly white ceiling and wishing she hadn't woken up.

"Well, not that I didn't want to visit you, but I'm actually supposed to ask you a couple of questions about the attack. Is that okay?" Rin stated, and Anomie shrugged, finding the action made a shot of pain spread through her shoulder. She didn't make a sound when it filled her body, striking her nerves like needles. She was used to pain by now, and she was taught to be quiet. "I can wait until you rest some more..."

"I don't care," Anomie said, as she met Rin's eager glance. "Go ahead. Rest won't change my answers."

"For starters, we searched your clothes and found this," Rin lifted a scroll from her belt and placed it on the bed beside the tied girl, whose eyes tiredly followed it. She remembered, through her blur of memories, Ohashi being desperate for it, always the martyr. How predictable, Anomie thought with a confusing mess of bitterness and fondness. She could only vaguely remember taking it from one of the Kumo ninjas in the main house, but the memory was foggy and made her head hurt. "Do you know what this is?"

"Not really," Anomie replied honestly. "I took it from someone else."

"We unsealed it, and found a map," Rin said slowly as if she were reluctant to get to her point. "A map of the land of fire. There were points and coordinates all over it...numbers too."

"I see." Anomie began to realize where this was going and how suspicious she was probably beginning to look if she continued to take the silent route. While she wasn't familiar with the way Konoha worked, she had enough training on conversation and politics to have the common sense necessary.

"Why do you have this and where did it come from? The seals are a clear sign of Kumogakure, but the Chakra isn't yours. Where did you get it?" Rin asked, her tone was patient, but it had a sense of urgency to it.

"Can you untie me?" Anomie asked, ignoring the question and causing Rin's eyes to slightly widen.

"I suppose you can't be too much of a threat with your injuries," Rin finally agreed with a hint of amusement, before sitting up and undoing the girl's constraints. Anomie lifted her white hair in her hands the moment her constraints were gone and held it up in a bun with one hand while loosening the neck portion of her top, exposing the tender skin underneath. When that was finished, and with much aching from her injuries, she began to turn her back to Rin. She ignored the rush of pain that came with her movements as she glanced towards Rin's patient expression. She then pulled down the cloth that covered the back of her neck and revealed a branding that resembled two-pronged daggers, with a jeweled hairpin in between the tips of the blades. Rin's eyes widened at the sight of it. "You're an Oiran...? Ah...I'm sorry..."

The apology was kind, but Anomie found it unnecessary to state what she was; whether the words had come out as whore, prostitute, or filth. Anomie had long since heard it all. She had even thought all of it during particularly long nights of destitution. Even when she became a very good courtesan with a handful of wealth, she thought similar things again.

Anomie dropped her hair and allowed the clean strands to cover up the marking as she turned back towards Rin and leaned back against her pillow. She didn't flinch at the rude way the girl spoke about her, but found herself saying, "I'm an entertainer. I am trained and formally dressed and prodded and poked and educated," Anomie said, as if her courtesan status could ever be a point of pride. Ohashi had taught her to find joy in even this, but Ohashi was dead and Anomie felt nothing but emptiness.

"But you're so...young...you're my age..." Rin said and Anomie tilted her head to the side. Rin looked horrified, moments from tears as it all set in on who she was talking to. Anomie didn't have many defenses to that, because when had age ever mattered in this world? If there was ever a place where it did, Anomie had never been there.

"They sell infants and toddlers and adults. They never see it that way and you are never too young to be a slave," she said after a moment of silence as she twirled a strand of hair on her finger, the only sign of nervous behavior. "I didn't tell you this to be judged-"

"I didn't mean it like-" Rin interjected, but Anomie raised her hand to stop her.

"I told you so I can explain how I got that scroll," she said, painfully moving her hand to cup her shoulder where the stab wound had been. "I got this in exchange, so it didn't come cheap. I was often requested by older officials of Kemuri." Rin looked slightly disgusted at the thought of someone so young being requested by the elderly, causing the left side of Anomie's lips to twitch up. "And many of them like to talk when they're...happy...one, in particular, liked to speak a lot after a cup of tea and a dance."

The girl leaned back, her face emptying of emotion. "For a couple of weeks, there had been many strange visitors to the high council of Kemuri, and they often indulged in the Yūkaku house. You can tell yourself that maybe they liked our flower arranging and tea ceremonies after a long journey." Anomie gave a soft, dead-eyed smile. "The truth is not as pretty." Rin barely managed to pick up the fact that the stoic girl made a joke. "Kumo ninja, no matter how high up, are still men and they love to talk. I wasn't the most requested girl, but there was another who was, she was ranked Tayū, the highest honor for our...occupation. She was older and had more," Anomie made circular motions around her chest, causing Rin to look away in embarrassment.

"She was always very brave and liked to put her nose where it didn't belong. When she noticed that many of the higher class of Kemuri were moving, leaving their ancestral homes, she went on to be obsessed with why. She was obsessed with many things and loved to talk. Too much, in my opinion, as girls in our positions really shouldn't gossip." Anomie continued, taking no notice of Rin's embarrassment. "Our village is always the first to be attacked in small disputes, let alone a war. Kemurigakure, according to Ohashi, said that the wealthy, the politically powerful, were tired of taking the hits for Konoha. Nobody believed her." Anomie hadn't believed, or maybe she might have, but there was nothing she could do to stop anything. She had been powerless her entire life, and thought it foolish that Ohashi cared so much.

"They betrayed us?" Rin asked, and Anomie shrugged.

"I don't know, but Ohashi told me that Kiri wanted as much information on Konoha as they could get. Weak points, important officials, donors of capital to the war, anything really. Kemuri is a stop on the way to Konoha, so we get information about Konoha and the land of fire much more than an average village. It's the trade center, the melting pot of commerce, of slavery, and the like. Kumo, however, attacked before the alliance could be struck, reluctant to let Kiri get any information that would lead to any sort of advantage." Anomie closed her eyes, remembering the frantic way Ohashi had spoke.

"We have to leave, Anomie," Ohashi had said, and Anomie had laughed.

"You taught me that we have to know our place. Where would we go and how could we get there?" Anomie had replied to her. She cast off the memory, and the coldness it had left behind in her. Ohashi had only the echoes of a plan, and Anomie had told her as much. She had told her that the war had no place for either of them, and Anomie had been right because Ohashi was dead.

Anomie opened and closed her eyes, taking another deep breath. "Those coordinates could be anything, from attack points to battle strategies. Ohashi never told me. Curiosity killed the cat," Anomie whispered the last part before a tiny, bitter frown glimmered on her lips. She pressed her palm against her injured shoulder, trying to feel anything at all. "And some cats like to drag others down with them."

Rin leaned back against the chair, and at that moment the sliding door to the room opened and an old man stepped inside. On his head was a bright red, domed-shaped hat with a long, matching haori and a red, full-length kimono, tied with a white sash. Anomie noticed his wrinkles first, his long nose, his thin lips, and all the other details fell together. He had a kind face, an auspicious nose, seen often in people of power. While she never had such a thing, she knew well the people who did.

"I apologize for eavesdropping, Anomie-san," the old man said, closing the door behind him as he took note of the girl's figure tensing. "I'm the Third Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen." His kind face did not make the girl relax, but her frown at least disappeared at his smiling face and grim eyes. "I was worried you wouldn't tell me the truth if I asked you directly, so I had to stoop to these methods. Don't hold it against Nohara-san."

Rin was fisting the bottom of her shorts in her fingers, her body obviously tense when Anomie's gaze locked onto her. At the sight, Anomie's shoulders relaxed and she laid her back against her pillow. She remembered the girl well, her frantic sympathetic eyes and healing touch when Anomie had fought between a desire to die and a need to survive. There was a debt between the two of them, and Anomie hated that she had no idea how to repay it. However, her gaze softening was enough for Rin to relax as well.

"In that case, I've told you all that I know," Anomie said, and she brought her gaze back onto the old man. If she a different person, a less empty shell of a person, she would have more shame at such a kind old man knowing about her story, but she wasn't a child and she felt near to nothing. And none of the old men who came into her life had ever been kind. "Ohashi died for that stupid scroll and took me down with her. There isn't much for me to tell. Konohagakure strikes her enemies, and Kemuri suffers the consequences. That's the moral of the story."

The old man wasn't offended, although Rin winced at the words. He shook his head, letting out a sigh. "I believe you. That isn't why I'm here right now. Konoha is going through its own setback due to this war and new refugees are coming in every week. It is my job to offer aid to those who need shelter in our village. You, for one, have earned that same hospitality, Anomie-san."

The girl's eyes slightly twitched in surprise, but she didn't interrupt.

Sarutobi was uncomfortable, and she wondered if he had never spoken to a whore before. In her lifetime, she had found that old men were her best clientele. They were always the ones of the extreme, either kind and gentle, or merciless and cruel. She began to wonder what sort of man he was when, slowly, the Third began to speak, "I don't know what path you want to take while you are here, but brothels are not-"

"That's fine," Anomie replied curtly, causing the Hokage's shoulders to slightly relax. She knew brothels existed in Konoha, had heard of them, had met girls from them during their travels. She wondered if he knew, or if he cared that so many were indentured, in servitude to a broken system. Did anyone in power ever care?

If so, Anomie knew that their care was worthless, and had never been directed her way. She could pick up where left tomorrow and no one would care. Just another cog in a broken machine. Another servitude to a village bent on the illusion of peace, the desire for prosoperty, never mind that prosperity for one meant suffering for another.

"I mentioned before that refugees are coming in often, so your living arrangements might be a little tight but-" The Hokage continued, but Rin hesitantly interjected.

"Hokage-sama, I was thinking she could stay with me. Our house is more than sufficient and my mother would love the company," Rin said, earning surprised looks from the other two. The Hokage's face immediately softened and nodded as Rin's gaze snapped to Anomie whose once molten eyes began to look almost gentle. "If that's alright with you."

Anomie bit her lip and looked away, causing Rin to grin as she took the silence as a yes.

The truth was, Anomie had no idea what was happening. The trajectory of her world was spinning and she was afraid to move lest she falls off the globe. However, she trusted Rin's offer more than any 'aid' some old man could lead her to. Trust, however, for Anomie was a weak thing, a frail and fragile thing that could break like a snowflake.

"I know this doesn't make the loss of your village lessen or cause the burden on your heart to disappear," the Hokage's voice made the girl's gaze return to his eyes. She had met many men in her time, but had always found that even the kindest ones ended up wanting something. It was always a matter of give and take, nothing in this world ever free. Whatever glittered wasn't always gold, as she had been told. "But I hope Konoha can become your home in time, but before that happens, I would like to know your full name, if you wouldn't mind."

Anomie was at a loss, reminded of a time when such a thing mattered. No one asked a whore her family name. It ruined the illusion that courtesans tried to create. Anomie looked away, but they were looking at her. This was yet another thing she didn't have, but it was pointless to explain to people who would never understand. She thought the man who offered to buy her, to free her. What a lie that was? When he heard the cost to pay off her indenture, he suddenly decided there were easier ways to have a woman. Kaneko Akira. What an asshole, Anomie thought to herself with a glance back over to the Hokage, waiting expectingly for a thing she never had. "Kaneko Anomie," she answered, feeling like a fraud.

"Well, Kaneko-san, it's not too late to enroll in the academy, you know," the Hokage said, turning his eyes back on the girl and watching as her expression disappeared. "I don't discriminate on what path you choose and will support you either way." Times had obviously changed and children are being lined up for war—whether they are a little too old or a little too young.

Here was a man, fighting a war with soldiers dying every day. Anomie thought it hilarious how desperate he must be to ask her to join. "I would make a terrible shinobi," Anomie said after a moment a silence. She was nothing but a shell, and you don't put a weapon in the hands of a shell.

The Hokage's face looked sad—maybe sympathetic—for a moment, but his palm rested on the girl's head, affectionately patting it. The action was likely one of comfort, but Anomie felt nothing but revulsion that she hid behind a blank expression. "I respect your choice, but don't ever forget that there are people you can talk to if you ever need help." His eyes drifted onto Rin, who was fidgeting in her chair. "I leave her to you, Nohara-san."

Rin stood up quickly and bowed as the old man began to leave the room, the scroll in his hand as he departed, "thank you very much, Hokage-sama!" Rin let out a deep breath and turned towards the girl in bed, looking at her strangely. Rin pouted at the look but didn't question it. "I'm sorry about deceiving you, Anomie-san."

"A ninja does what they must for their village," she replied simply, resting her head into her pillow. "You truly want to take a stranger into your home?" Anomie had never seen a generous person, never seen a selfless act, but she couldn't find a reason Rin would have worked tireless to heal her and now offer her more. Anomie had nothing to give. She was nothing. "A stranger and whore. What are you thinking?"

"That's not who you are," Rin exclaimed, causing Anomie's eyes to snap in her direction, making Rin nervous. "M-Maybe that was what you did in the past, but it doesn't define who you are. That doesn't make you," Rin began, looking more nervous as the seconds ticked. She broke off, running her hand to her face as if she was in pain. "I am so sorry about what happened to you."

"You have no idea what happened to me," Anomie said in a monotone. Tears leaked out from in between Rin's fingers, and the confusion began to swallow the injured girl.

"I don't need to know, but what I do," Rin said, her voice pained and breathy. "What I do, I'm so sorry for. But," Rin said, removing her hand. "That's not who you are. It's what you did, and you deserve better."

Anomie didn't know what she deserved, but she had long since lost the ability to cry for herself. It was like crying for the sun setting. Tears wouldn't stop the moon from coming up. "It is who I am," Anomie said with a tilt of her head, wondering if there were words that she could say that would ever make this naive little girl ever understand. Rin shook her head.

"I just want to help," Rin said, her voice weak, like a mouse. I don't understand, Anomie thought with furrowed brows. "It's your choice."

Anomie's lips began to twitch, and a hysterical giggle left her mouth. The laughter rocked her body and she used her hand, attached to the shoulder that wasn't injured, to cover her mouth. She laughed into her palm while Rin had frozen, tears still trailing down her face in such a way that made Anomie laugh harder. "My choice?" Anomie broke off from her laugh, trying to kick back the emptiness, to see if she could even try to be a person. She doubted it. "You think so?" Nobody ever gave her a choice.

When she was 8, she threatened to take a knife to her own throat. Ohashi had hidden every sharp object for months. She hadn't even been allowed to place pins in her hair. It was never even her choice to die. "What's funny?" Rin asked, and that made Anomie smile.

"You are crying," Anomie said with that same shine of amusement. "It's fascinating." Rin's brows furrowed together.

"Has no one ever cried for you?"

"They have cried because of me," Anomie answered, looking away from the girl, picking at her blanket, watching the fabric rise and fall. Anomie had thrown broken glass at a young kamuro, a younger girl with a face prettier than Anomie's, threatening her new livelihood, her growing position in the house. There had been a scar down Uta's cheek after that, and only then had Anomie felt any semblance of 'safe'. Anomie looked over to Rin, who looked confused. "I could be dangerous. I could be cruel. I could be anyone."

Rin slowly sat by Anomie's bed, her hand hovering over Anomie's injured arm, which lay motionless at her side. "May I?" Rin asked, and Anomie felt her heart quake at the question. She nodded, watching with rapt fascination as Rin placed her palm against Anomie's hand. "You could be cruel or all of that, but I don't think that what you could be is any reason to turn away anyone." Rin tried to smile, but the empathy in her eyes was so blindingly bright that Anomie could barely look at it. "You are right, though."

"About what?" Anomie asked, transfixed.

Rin's lips fell into a genuine smile that made Anomie feel as if she had looked into the sun. "You could be anyone. Anyone you want to be." Rin's thumb rubbed circles around the soft skin of Anomie's hand, and the action was so gentle, so delicate, that Anomie's eyes were drawn to the motion. "And I am selfish, for needing to see you become whoever you want to be."

All the things Anomie wanted to say wouldn't come out. It was as if they were locked in shackles, and sealed away in some dark corner of her heart. Anomie didn't understand. She didn't know how to answer, but Rin wasn't waiting for an answer to that statement. She just kept her hand on Anomie's, looking for nothing from her.

"So, it is your choice to make," Rin said with an amused grin. "A cramped hostel of strangers, or a lonely Iryō-nin who really wants to know you better."

Anomie looked away, her heart hammering. "It's not a hard choice."

She didn't know how to say any sort of gratitude. Had she ever been thankful for anything? Ohashi had taken her from the cages of the brothels in the Nichijou district of Kemuri, but it wasn't an act of kindness. Anomie had been indentured to Ohashi under the guise of a 'sponsorship' and the woman had taken 40 percent of all Anomie's earnings as repayment. The master of the house had taken 30 percent, and the remaining 30 percent left for her to live off, went right back to paying interest into the indenture that was impossible to ever pay off.

But Rin wasn't asking for an illegal, unfair contract.

And she wasn't asking for gratitude.

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Anomie hadn't the single inkling at what she should be doing when she arrived at the Nohara household. It was quiet, and with just one look at the small table and small couch and the photographs of Rin with an older woman, Anomie could tell that the mother and daughter were close. The older woman had similar features to her daughter, right down to the blue stripes on her cheeks.

They seemed happy, Anomie thought as she lifted the picture frame in her hand. The mother's hair was slightly darker and age had taken a small toll on the crease of her eyes when she smiled.

"Oh! That's mom," Rin said, looking over the slightly taller girl's shoulder. Anomie bit her lip and placed the picture back alongside the others.

"Where is she?" Anomie asked in return turning to the girl who now held a small bag in her hands.

Rin's eyes slightly clouded with sadness as she looked back at the picture beside the taller girl. "She's on the front lines right now...but I'm sure she'll be back soon enough for you to meet her. She's a very powerful ninja!" Rin grinned happily, the moment of sadness departed from her eyes. "You'll like her! I'm sure of it."

Anomie didn't comment on that as she noticed Rin happily rock on her feet. "What is it?"

"Well...you don't have anything to wear...and I don't mind sharing my clothes, but they don't exactly seem to..." Rin couldn't help but stare at the way Anomie's chest looked ready to burst from Rin's favorite dress. "...fit."

"I don't need new clothes," Anomie smoothed out the dress. "If you have any old ones, I can stitch together something new." Anomie was young, but courtesans were under strict workout regimens and strict diets to make them exceptionally built to look a certain way. Anomie had also, always been a tall girl. Many clients often thought she was 16 when she was only 12.

"You sew?" Rin seemed excited by the prospect, which slightly amused the other girl.

"It's one of the many things they teach you," she replied, brushing her fingertips against one of the many rips in Rin's outfit. "Being a ninja can't be good for fashion. I can fix it for you."

Rin smiled, "I'd like that, but first I would like to buy you a few necessary girl stuff, including fabric. I'm not so poor as to not be able to provide for you. I'm always away on missions, so I don't wear too much of the latest fashion. We ninja have a lot of spending money," Rin said this so happily that Anomie couldn't refuse, but made a silent promise to pay back her debts somehow.

"In that case, some lipstick would be nice," Anomie said and Rin nodded.

"The first thing on your mind is makeup, we are very different people, An-chan," Rin said before her eyes widened. "You don't mind the nickname, do you? It's just your name is so long."

"Names don't mean much to me. I've had many already, and Anomie wasn't the one I was born with," the other replied, offhandedly.

"Really?" Rin seemed sad again. "What was your name when you were little then?"

"Fuyu. I was born in the winter, amongst one of the coldest nights. I had gotten sick, and my hair turned white. My mother wasn't very clever, but I'm sure it was a surprise in contrast with her red hair," Anomie said, glancing over to Rin with a small smile. "She said that my hair was kissed by the gods, as a miracle for my health, but I was a sickly baby so I think it was really just kissed by disease."

"What happened to her?"

Anomie only shrugged, running her fingers along the hem of the fabric of Rin's clothes she wore. "Who knows," Anomie said quietly. "I was sold and she was gone. Not much to the story." Rin looked ready to erupt in tears, but Anomie's face was blank.

"Should I call you Fuyu-chan then?" Rin asked, her voice was earnest, but the comment made Anomie slightly frown and she continued her story after a firm glance towards the other girl.

"The white hair also got me noticed by a particularly wealthy merchant. I went from a low-end brothel to a prestigious one. I was the only one without black hair there, so I stood out even though I was so young. I learned many things about dancing and making tea and..." Anomie trailed off, but a smile lingered on her lips. "They dressed me, educated me, taught me dances, music, skills I never had," as she spoke, she grabbed a bit of her hair and looked at it, almost like it was a fond memory, before staring back into Rin's eyes.

"Fuyu was the name of a street rat, without family or life. Anomie is lucky. It brought me life and education and purpose..." Rin still looked unconvinced, but Anomie only smiled. "It was also the name I had when I met you. I'd say it's very lucky. Maybe my hair really was kissed by the Gods, and brought me life." Anomie paused, choosing her words carefully. "More than anything else, I think that my white hair helped me start a new life away from Kemurigakure. Not many others can say the same."

Anomie paused, her eyes running over Rin's house.

"Fuyu was unlucky and there are few memories that are worth looking back at when I was her," Anomie said, slowly and thoughtfully. "I met you as Anomie and that is truly a lucky thing." Anomie barely got much else out before Rin interuptted.

"Can I hug you?" Rin asked, and Anomie tilted her head to the side, but she nodded. Rin's arms wrapped around her in a tight embrace, causing the girl's eyes to widen and her arms to stiffen at her side.

"Let's go get that fabric, An-chan," Rin whispered, but her arms didn't so much as budge, caging the white-haired girl inside. It was, Anomie thought with her hands gripping the material at her sides, not terrible.

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Anomie didn't know what to do after she got back to Rin's house, sporting a new, now fitting outfit that Rin had forced on her during their shopping spree. It was rather pretty, and Anomie had never worn leggings before, not to mention black ones. Her dress was beige, with flowers that resembled the pretty sakura blossoms that Rin and she had passed on the way to the shop. Sakura couldn't grow in Kemuri, so it was a pleasant change.

The dress reached her ankles in the back, but in the front was short and didn't even reach her knees, making it feel like she was wearing a cape. The sleeves were long and dangled from her arms with her shoulders bare. Rin had taken her to get her hair done, so now it was tied with ribbon and flowers.

It wasn't an outfit she had ever worn before, and it felt very much like summer and bordering on spring. And the material was soft, like silk, and felt very nice against her skin. Her new shoes were tight, and went up to her knees like high boots, with small heels that made her taller than she already was. And it was the first thing she had ever picked out because Anomie had wanted to wear it.

Rin wouldn't let go of dressing her up like a doll, and Anomie wasn't sure how much she spent on her, as Rin wouldn't allow her to know. So now, she had no idea what amount she had to pay back.

The house was small, and she had to share a room with Rin, which she couldn't help but feel guilty about. The girl was so good to her, and she couldn't do anything in return. Rin didn't see it that way, and looked giddy and excited as she began to set up the bed for two people.

"I'm sure Kakashi and Obito are going to be super surprised when they see you," Rin said, as she fixed up her sheets and darted across the room, placing the new clothes on hangers while Anomie folded up the new panties and sleeping garments and placed them in the dresser that Rin had scooted her clothes over to fit. "Not that you were ever uncomely, but," Rin shivered, a sadness dropping over her at the memory of Anomie's bruised and bloody body.

Rin hid the reaction as if Anomie hadn't already seen it. Truthfully, Anomie was always watching Rin, looking for anything she could see with naked eyes. Rin grinned over to the girl who only blinked in return. "You are stunning now. I bet you'll be super popular here."

Anomie glanced over to Rin, "As popular as you?"

"Oh!" Rin giggled, shaking her head. "No, I was never so popular with the boys when I was in school. I don't have your..." Rin cut off, giggling again.

Anomie raised a brow and went back to folding clothes. "I don't think that's true. I never liked ninja headbands, since they restrict the beauty of the face, so that's the only thing I don't like about your fashion..." Anomie realized that her compliment was backhanded, and immediately attempted to rectify it. "But other than that, you're very pretty Rin-san. Modest, smart, and you heal things that are broken. Any kid can get strong and learn to throw knives, and beauty is a matter of genetics and luck or just a matter of hard work...but not many can fix broken skin. I know how to dance and sing, but I don't know how to save people from the brink of death." Anomie glanced over to Rin, to see the girl was looking over to her with wide eyes. "I think you are admirable in a way that others can never be. Far more than you realize. Girls mature faster...when the boys catch up, they will see that too. That inner strength."

"I wish Kakashi could be one of those boys," Rin said with a smile.

"Is that the one with the goggles?" Anomie asked, and Rin shook her head. "Or the rude one who wanted to leave on the ground." Rin winced, causing Anomie's lips to curl up for a moment.

"No, Obito is great, but Kakashi is the only one for me," said Rin, looking sheepish and scratching the back of her head with a large grin. "The rude one, yes. I know."

"The silver-haired one then." Anomie folded the last undergarment, and closed the dresser drawer, giving the purple striped girl her attention. "You can do better. He's an ass." Anomie remembered the silver-haired boy's mumbling to leave her in the forest, his grumbled reluctance, his sharp tone.

"You take that back right now," Rin said in a scolding tone, only half-serious. "Name-calling isn't nice, An-chan."

Anomie giggled, shaking her head. "I'm sure you know best."

"What kind of boys do you like?" Rin asked, watching as Anomie looked at herself in the full-length mirror, and pouted her lips while pressing her ring finger in the small seashell-shaped container of pink lip paint. She pursed her lips and began to coat them in the color.

"I've never thought about it," Anomie said without a second thought. "I'm not very experienced in the art of dating and thinking about a future with boys my age. I suppose I wouldn't mind someone like you, Rin-san."

Rin's cheeks inflamed with color, and Anomie watched them ignite from the corner of her eyes as she closed the lip color container.

"You say such embarrassing things, An-chan."

"Do I?" Anomie turned towards the girl. "I'm serious. As I said, Rin-san, I think you are pretty amazing. And I trust your judgment. If you say Kakashi-san is the only one for you, then he can't be bad. Maybe he's just young. Girls really do mature faster, and some faster than others in this world. It's the system."

Rin frowned. "It doesn't seem very fair."

Anomie smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Maturing isn't all too horrible. I think it helps us live longer. Helps understand the game. If you pretend to be a weak and innocent little girl, people won't take you seriously and will oftentimes underestimate you. Sometimes, when you know you can't win by playing fair, you have to find a way to win outside the rules."

"While I know that is true, I prefer to take a fight the honest way. No tricks, just them against me," Rin said with a smile. "I'll always have Obito and Kakashi by my side, and we watch out for each other. I don't think I'll ever need to stoop so low."

Anomie smiled again as she sat on the newly made bed, laying back against it and closing her eyes. "If everyone thought the way you do, Rin-san, I think there wouldn't be much fighting in this world."

"Well, I don't know about that, but when Obito becomes Hokage, I'm sure he'll at least change the way Konoha treats others." Rin grinned, most of her teeth showing as she tilted her head to the side, causing Anomie to glance her way, laying her left cheek against the satin bedspread.

"Is he really that strong?"

Rin's smile only grew, "he's not the strongest in the world...but he's so determined that I can't see anyone stopping him from being on top."

"You believe in him."

"We've been friends since we were kids. He never knew his parents, and my dad died when I was little and my mom was always away on missions...so we have a lot in common. I'm sure you'll like him. He is like a brother to me, so if you end up liking him, you have to prove you're worthy to me directly," as Rin spoke, Anomie felt all the more eager to meet her friends and see them in the same light that Rin did. To see people in such a clean and innocent hue would make this world seem so much brighter. Anomie couldn't imagine it.

"I'll have to start proving my worth then, but I don't see myself having a shot with either of them with you next to me," Anomie said, her voice clear of any resentment and that caused Rin to shake her head and earnestly hop onto the bed next to Anomie's face.

"Have you seen you?" Rin sounded so determined to make her point that Anomie had no choice but to listen. "You're strong. And you're still able to act so strong after your home was..." Rin's voice broke, but Anomie was unaffected by the memory. "Anyway, I think you're admirable too."

Anomie couldn't help but give the girl a lopsided smile, but she didn't remark her thoughts that said Kemuri wasn't her home. It was a warzone. It was a place of survival. It had been a painful thing, watching it burn, but she didn't miss it. She didn't miss anyone in it. She didn't even know how she felt about Ohashi, at this moment. It was all just a blur of sensation. The brothels had been designed to pit women and against women because if you were successful, if you weren't ensnaring men, then you were less than nothing. You were on the streets or sold to a lower house where you were put on desplay in cages like animals. Anomie knew both sides of it all. She had seen the cages, felt the bars trap her like an animal. The more she gave her body, the more she sold bits of herself away, the more comfortable her life became.

Ohashi had taken her from that, and the other girls in the house had no kindness for a little 8 year old who threatened the pecking order of the house. She had been beaten, raped, and defiled. There was no home in Kemuri. There were no simple words such as 'friends'. Ohashi had ended up being the only thing Anomie had some semblance of affection for, and the woman had nearly gotten her killed.

As non-judging as Rin had proved to be, Anomie didn't think the privileged girl would like a former courtesan's viewpoint on people. She wouldn't understand anything.

"Tell me about Kakashi-san," Anomie said, changing the topic to one that instantly brought a bright smile to Rin's innocent face.

Rin crawled beside the white-haired girl and lay beside her. "For starters, he became a Genin at five years old. He's so talented and fights as easily as I walk. But he's not stuck up about it," Rin's voice sounded so fond and free of doubt that Anomie found herself drawn in by the described boy's image. "Sure, Obito gets under his skin, but those two never got along, but I think deep down..." Rin's lips pouted. "...deep, deep, deep down, they like each other more than they let on."

"You cherish them?"

"More than anything. Minato-sensei too and Kushina-sama of course. They are my family." Rin's smile was almost contagious.

"Kushina?"

"She's Minato-sensei's wife. She's very kind. During training, she sometimes visits and helps us get better. She's so strong and the food she brings is very good," Rin turned her head and looked at the other girl. "I think you'll like them all too, Anomie." Her once happy tone turned serious and her smile disappeared at her last sentence while Anomie's face emptied of emotion.

Almost immediately, Rin's hand dragged down to Anomie's hand, pausing as she looked over to the white-haired girl. Anomie smiled, "you don't have to ask." Rin's gentle eyes ran over Anomie's face with a smile and cupped the girl's palm. They laid in silence. Anomie wasn't sure how long the silence lasted or when the room started to darken, but Rin's hand never removed itself from her own.

"I don't understand it," Anomie found herself saying after she heard Rin's rhythmic breathing of a girl who had fallen asleep. "I don't have anything to offer you..." She turned on her side, now facing the sleeping girl, still hand in hand. With her left hand free, she hovered her palm over Rin's face, barely illuminated by the last glow of the sun shining in through the window.

She didn't get it, and she knew she wouldn't understand Rin's kindness anytime soon. Perhaps it wasn't even kindness. Perhaps Rin only pitied her and took pity on the story she had told. The thought of someone feeling sorry for her was unnerving, but she covered the growing resentment.

Or perhaps it had nothing to do with wanting to help her. Perhaps Rin was just lonely, being in an empty house. Anomie had seen the dust, the lack of food in the fridge, the pure hollowness and lack of life in the house. Anomie had seen the way Rin stared at pictures, covering the walls with longing towards an old life before the war.

Anomie slowly closed her eyes and pressed her left hand to her chest.

She didn't believe herself capable of making anyone feel less lonely...at least not without providing more physical needs, which she highly doubted Rin would ever ask from her. She could clean and cook, but Anomie had nothing to ease Rin's pain. Neither the personality nor the practice. She didn't deserve it, but, Anomie had long since been taught that nobody in this world ever got what they deserved.

Her hand, still in Rin's grasp, finally squeezed back.

But that didn't mean she wouldn't try.

●▬▬▬Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ▬▬▬●

The village was so full of life and it surrounded her at every step. Even in the midst of war and panic and destruction, the children didn't stay in their homes, hidden from the world by the protective arms of their parents. They played and laughed and spoke as if there wasn't a care in the world. As if they too wouldn't join the front lines, as Konoha Shinobi in a few short years. If this war should continue, they'd see it all.

Often, she saw, in the brothels of Kemuri, soldiers would march through the village and she would stare out sometimes at the kids not much younger, or not much older, than her. In the end, she found kindred spirits in the young kids, fighting to protect their country, waiting to die. They were forced into something too, they were forced to give their bodies for a cause. She would wonder what it felt like to hold the weapon. She often pretended she was a ninja, on the particularly bad nights with clients. She pretended it was a mission, that she had to get intel. In beginning, it had been all that kept her from crying throughout the entire ordeal. It was an idea from another girl, who had been in the academy in Konoha, abducted off the streets and sold.

Anomie never found friends amongst the other girls, but she did listen well sometimes. In order to cut herself off from emotions or the violent depression, she cut herself off from the ability to make connections with people. It's easier that way. If she thought of herself as a loner, like smoke, then nothing any client did could hurt her. She became someone else behind closed doors, but if she had made connections, it would force her to be there. To be Fuyu. It would force her to go back into her body instead of float above it like a hollow specter.

Now, it rather felt like she was still that specter, gripping onto a body that didn't recognize itself. How was she ever supposed to belong in this place, if she didn't even belong in her own head? In her own body?

The sunlight cooked her skin, but it was a pleasant glow and she took it in strides. In Kemuri, she wouldn't dare walk around in such revealing clothing. However, he climate change would have been her undoing if she wore any more clothing than this. Why was Konoha so ridiculously hot?

If anyone saw her in this in Kemuri, she'd be ostracized, called a common whore instead of a high class one. It would break the illusion that these rich men were paying for. Anomie hated the lot of them. On days when she wasn't empty, she had nothing but an overwhelming hatred, filling her. Encompassing her.

But now, she wore something short, something revealing. It was my body, she told herself as if saying it would make her believe it. But her body still felt like this other thing, this unapproachable thing. Even in an outfit, she would have never worn, even then, she couldn't reclaim herself. She didn't even know what she liked and didn't like. A shell.

She breathed in the air as she walked past the food stalls, noticing that many were open and feeding the hungry mouths of the elder and children all alike. Ramen stands seemed to be the most popular, but Anomie never acquired the taste for noodles so she skipped past them. She couldn't even choose what she wanted to eat, yet another thing chosen for her Kemuri. She remembered the mamakari zushi and the standard rice, the plain foods she was given. It was all meant to build protein, to give her muscle and a figure after a workout.

She did remember, vaguely, that she had liked the rewards of otoro tuna that particularly wealthy merchants would bring her. To say she enjoyed anything was a stretch, but she didn't hate when the Water country merchants would come into town, bringing their valuable wares and foreign foods that they'd give her if she made them happy. A give and take, as everything was, but she remembered the square melons, the ones she received when she brought the house a particularly high sum of money.

She had enjoyed that, but she didn't see it at any of the stands. They were rarely in season and merchants didn't like to carry them in their inventory. The square melons still made her happy when she saw them, and the thought of eating like a king made her work harder in her job in the past. Would Rin ever understand that? Would it be disgusting to her? That a simple fruit was worth her body? Worth her dignity? Worth those pesky morals that Anomie had long since forgotten how to have? I think so.

Rin gave her money to eat while she met her team for training since food wasn't something Rin normally bought considering her mission schedule and eating out. Anomie wasn't surprised when she found out that the girl couldn't cook anything. Standards truly were different here. Were girls no longer raised to be the perfect child bride? Were they no longer considered past due if not married by 15? Anomie wondered what she'd be here. A spinster. Damaged, used up goods. She brushed off the thought.

There were so many stands and so much food, that she wasn't certain what to eat. She supposed it was normal in Konoha, but in Kemuri, it was more normal to be hungry than not. At least, in her district, it had been.

She stopped, staring at the money in her hand. The currency was the same as her village, but she was still reluctant to spend Rin's money. As she absentmindedly walked again, she was suddenly pushed over with such force that she could feel her stitches opening in her shoulder. She felt a weight on her chest spread through her body as she opened her previously clenched eyes to stare at the boy who landed on top of her. He had scruffy hair, and goggles, causing a string of memories to linger back on her mind.

"I am so sorry!" He shouted, as he stood up and immediately offered his hand to lift her up as well. She placed the hand of her unwounded shoulder in his, standing up to his height. His eyes widened as he noticed the bandages around her bare shoulder where the dressed scooped over, begin to soak with blood. "Oh god. I'm sorry-"

"You're Obito?" Anomie said, her voice light and airy, not paying attention to the bandages, being painted red. She was used to blood by now. She was only thankful that her revealing dress didn't cover over the wound, as she didn't want to be the one to tell Rin that she got blood on it.

Obito's eyes further widened, "Oh no, my bad reputation precedes me if you already know who I am." He seemed to not recognize her, as his last visit had been a weakened shell of her true self, and this fact caused her to slightly smile before she noticed a tiny bit of concerned stares they got from the surrounding people. She bowed, assuring them that she was all right.

When she looked back up to Obito she smiled, fondly remembering all of Rin's stories about the boy. "I'm Anomie."

"The girl from the woods," Obito instantly replied, and his guilt seemed to worsen. "I don't suppose I already said I was sorry."

"It's really not necessary. Stitches open up all the time. It was really, partially my fault for not paying attention," she replied, her voice in polite monotone.

"I was late and running without thinking. Rin is going to kill me when she sees you," Obito said, and Anomie didn't have a reply to that probable factor.

"I should probably fix this." Anomie bowed to Obito, her small bits of loose hair that wasn't tied in bows and flowers fell over her shoulder. "If I fix it in time, Rin will never know."

Obito looked reluctant before he finally spoke again, "How about I take you to Rin and she'll fix it? The training grounds aren't too far."

"Are you sure?" Anomie asked, and Obito grinned, gently tugging the girl by the elbow so she had no choice but to follow, leaving the idea of eating behind for a while, and she placed the money that she gripped in her hands into the loose pouch in the dress she wore. Ninja villages were nice in the fact that all their clothing had pockets. She couldn't say the same about the kimonos she wore in the past.

"Yeah, to be honest, you coming with me could serve as an excuse to why I'm late," Obito slightly grinned, and the prospect brought a small smile to Anomie's face. "Maybe with you by my side, I won't get yelled at."

"Well, it's good to have dreams," came her short response, and Obito would have thought she was mocking him if it wasn't for her general aura of indifference.

"Rin told me all about you," Obito said as they walked. His smile was innocent, so Anomie was fairly certain the girl hadn't told him everything.

"Has she?" came Anomie's calm response and Obito's smile only widened. He walked in pair with her, matching her strides.

"Well, not that much, but she said you were very pretty," Obito didn't show an ounce of shame when he said his statement so bluntly.

Anomie raised a single, thin eyebrow as she swept her hair aside from her face. "She told me you wanted to become a Hokage."

"Not a Hokage. The Hokage," Obito corrected, all playful attitude was replaced by absolute determination.

"Alright. Well, you have my vote," Anomie said simply. "Especially considering you're the only candidate I know."

His eyes lit up with a sad joy, slightly surprising her when she met his gaze. It made her wonder if he wasn't used to the recognition of his dream. With that completely lack of self-esteem, Anomie silently rescinded her vote. After a moment of silence, Anomie's voice cut into his newly fitted mood. "I think you need more friends. You don't believe in yourself nearly enough."

"Well, I'll officially add you in my friend's list~!"

"From what I know, me, Rin-san, and Kakashi-san. Lonely list."

"Kakashi's not my friend."

"Lonely list growing lonelier."

"You're not very nice."

Anomie didn't answer and only looked away to hide her smile. She composed her face when she glanced back at him, to find he was grinning still.

"Well, not many people understand me," he finally defended his lack of friends, and she only raised another brow.

"You don't seem very complex, but, Rin-san is your friend and I think that's all you really need," she meant to sound lighthearted, but he seemed to jump up for joy when she said the girl's name.

"You think so too?" He eagerly said, and Anomie didn't know what to say to his sudden enthusiasm, so she shrugged. "I've known her forever. Most kids laughed at me when I spoke about becoming Hokage, but she didn't. She was the first one to support me and she's always supporting me. She likes to save everyone she meets and I think she's like a beacon of hope to anyone she heals."

"That's a very imaginative way to describe someone," she said slowly, wincing when she felt someone brush against her shoulder. Obito frowned and pulled her closer to him in order to escape the barrage of the crowd. She waved her hand, silently assuring him that she was all right, even though the blood began to soak through her bandages until there was little of the white material left.

"Well, I believe she's going to save a lot of people and I plan to protect her so she can," Obito said, his voice almost sounding manly for a second.

So that's how it is, came Anomie's musing thought, What a strange love triangle their team has. She was surprised Rin hadn't guessed Obito's obvious affection for her, as he wasn't good at hiding it if a stranger could pick up on it.

"Well, you can't protect her from everything." Anomie left out her cynical comment of shit happens and decided to stick to not upsetting him too much. "Especially during a war when bad things happen to people who don't deserve it everyday."

He looked very upset by the girl's comment and his shoulders sagged like an upset puppy's ears.

"So I guess you'll have to get stronger than your enemies," she continued, glancing towards him as they neared the training grounds. "I think the future Hokage can do that much, don't you?" Although looking at him, she doubted it.

Obito opened his mouth to reply, but another voice interrupted with a shout.

"Obito you're late. Later than usual," Minato lightly scolded, his eyes running over the two.

"Sorry sensei, a black cat crossed my path so I took the longer path but then I found Anomie and we had a bit of an accident that requires Rin's expertise," Obito grinned, brushing off Kakashi's obvious scowl. Rin rushed up to the injured girl, her eyes instantly drawn to the wound with its blood bandages.

"Obito! What the hell?" Rin scolded as she began to undo the bandages without Anomie's response. Her strong grip forced them both to sit as she undid the girl's outfit so her arm was completely bare and the material uncovered much of the girl's chest that remained wrapped in tight, dark pink material in the shape of a tube top. The boys all averted their eyes, even though not much was showing while Anomie rolled her eyes. "You alright. Does it hurt?" she asked, as she undid the last of the bloody bandages.

"Only my pride," came her reply, causing a snort to come out from one of the boys, but she didn't know their voices well enough to know who it had been.

"Well, considering the circumstances, I suppose it's alright for today and I'll excuse your tardiness," Minato said, causing Kakashi's eyes to narrow further.

"He keeps doing it because you're too lenient," Kakashi scolded, and Anomie felt for a second that he was more of a strict teacher than the actual teacher.

"Oh, come on Kakashi. You're telling me there's not a single part of you that's glad training was delayed," Obito said with a grin.

"There are rules for a reason. I'm not happy when they're broken because it inconveniences everyone around." Kakashi lectured, causing Minato to slightly smile. "Now, training will go into the evening and my entire day is spent either waiting for you or training with you. I'm not sure which is worse."

Anomie glanced towards Rin with raised brows, "Him? Really?"

Rin's entire face lit up, "shhh."

Obito sat down, putting in his eye drops as he all but brushed off Kakashi's lecture. "Don't be such a stick in the mud. I don't enjoy being with you either. You're nothing special," Obito complained, and Kakashi's eyes narrowed when he saw Anomie mouthing, 'so true' from the corner of his eyes. "Every second I am late is a second away from you. It's all good enough for me."

Rin rolled her eyes as she got out her needle and thread from a small emergency kit in her bag.

"If you had been here on time, you wouldn't have further injured someone," Kakashi retorted, and Obito had no excuse as he set Anomie a small, guilty glance as he closed the cap on the eye drops.

But Obito couldn't let the other get the last word as he let out his lame retort of, "Shut up Kakashi." The silver-haired boy only scoffed.

"Ignore them. It's what I do most days," Rin said, raising her hand to numb Anomie's skin.

Anomie shook her head and waved off Rin's hand. "Conserve your Chakra for your training. A needle won't hurt." Rin's hesitant gaze glowed with concern, to which the girl only shook her head. Rin nodded her head and began re-stitching the wound as Anomie played with a small pink flower. It felt like home when she saw it, resembling many of the flowers she saw back when her mother was still around in their small house. They used to grow by their door until some drunken douche upturned the ground with his fight that broke said door down and ruined the flowers and her day.

"It's a Hezā flower," Rin said with a small smile as she glanced towards the flower from the corner of her eyes. Anomie glided her fingers around the thin, string-like petals. "In the language of flowers, it means protection."

Anomie looked at the girl from the corner of her eyes, almost surprised. "Flowers have a language?" The innocent and sudden statement made Rin's smile grow gentler.

"I thought you said you learned flower arranging in your time," Rin commented, finishing the last few stitches.

"Flower arranging, yes, but I didn't learn any languages of flowers," Anomie said as she picked the flower from the ground and placed it in Rin's hair, using her headband to place the stem in a secure position just as Rin finished the last stitch. "There. Now you're protected."

Rin's smile grew and she stood up after gathering her medical supplies and neatly placing them back in their box. "You do embarrassing stuff sometimes, An-chan," came Rin's stiff reply as she tried to hide her smile.

Anomie only stood up with a look of indifference as she glanced towards Kakashi and Obito, who were still bickering before her gaze drifted to the sensei that passively attempted to stop them. His eyes darted to her when she took a step closer while fixing her sleeve so she was covered. One look and anyone could tell that she had no modesty.

She bowed, managing to stop the bickering of the two ninjas who looked her way. "I apologize for holding up your training." Her bow was very poise and formal.

"It was Obito's fault anyway," Kakashi said, attempting some semblance of politeness that Anomie thought made him seem more rude. He scowled when he saw her look him up and down in so judgmental a way that even he felt conscious of it. She lazily covered her obvious judgment with a smile that made his eyes narrow. Obito, oblivious of the interaction, silently agreed while Anomie straightened her back and said nothing for or against the claim.

"Train well," were her last words before she departed to get some much-needed food that the only yet worst Hokage candidate had deprived her of.

The only good thing about Obito's run-in was that it allowed her more time to learn the way around Konoha. That much was nice at least so she took advantage of everything as she made her way back to the food stalls, lined in tow with each other. She was officially too hungry to be picky, so she decided to let the crowd sway her decision as she glanced at the least occupied stand.

She glanced towards the obvious ramen stand with a short, yellow-colored curtain that spelled out 'ramen' in katakana, and her pace quickened past it before she noticed that it was the emptiest stand around. More than that, she remembered the diet that had been forced upon her with a bitterness that filled her. She decided fuck all of them and turned back around.

The potent smell filled her nostrils as her head passed through the yellow curtain of 'ra' and took a seat on the high stools next to the counter and the wall where a man shined a cup.

I hate this, Anomie thought in a muse as she adjusted her position on the stool. The man looked friendly enough at least, and he turned to her with a smile.

"Welcome to Ichiraku Ramen house. I'm Teuichi," the man greeted, and she nodded as she placed her cheek against her palm while her elbow rested on the counter. "You new in Konoha?" the man asked, and Anomie took a moment to realize that he was talking to her. I want awkward, blissful silence, thanks.

He couldn't be more than 30 years old and looked pretty spry for his age. "Yes. You can tell?"

"I've lived in this village for years. I know every face." The man said with a smile, and she found that difficult to believe about such a large village. I really hate this, she thought with a deep breath.

"I was under the impression that this stand was new," she said in reply as he filled a dish with ramen and vegetables with impressive speed and gave it to some weirdo in a green suit.

"Recently relocated. I wanted to try a spot close to the ninja academy." He had such a kind smile that made her hate this all the more. "That's where the money's at." His lighthearted comment made her slightly tilt her head. "What can I get you?"

"What's the cheapest thing you have?" Anomie asked instantly, wanting to make the money last.

"Tare, but the pork belly is the best," he said without a second thought as she glanced behind him at the menu. Gross, Anomie thought, having a feeling she wasn't going to like a single thing.

"Tare ramen then," she said, closing her eyes and allowing the silence to overtake her, ignoring the glances she felt from the green-suited boy to her right. She decided the best thing was to completely ignore his existence.

The bowl of ramen was in front of her in less than eight minutes. She grabbed the chopsticks and separated them before she realized she didn't know how to eat the noodles. She glanced at the green-haired man to see how he ate them and copied his style.

It didn't seem to go in her favor as he flashed her a sudden grin, holding up his thumb in a happy motion. The glare that caught from the sun to his white-ass teeth hit her in the eye.

"I see the shine of my youth has caught your eyes," he said in an energetic tone that made the noodles she barely got in her mouth, fall back into the bowl.

Please don't talk to me, Anomie thought with a thin smile.,

He flexed his muscles and grinned at her again. "You are as beautiful as ever." She saw him staring a moment longer at her bandages that covered her body's bruises and wounds. She saw that he had similar bandages around his fists, the kind that looked to hide the aftereffect of fighting.

"We've never met." She knew it was a mistake the moment she allowed herself to speak.

"Ah, you are mistaken. I see you every night in my dreams!" He sent her a wink, his grin still intact as her mouth slightly opened in surprise. "I am Maito Gai! The man who now vows to lay down his life to protect you."

Please die then, she thought,at a loss for what to say to his confession and every time she tried to control her composure, the green dork said something new to make it drop.

"What are you-" she began, but he suddenly jumped onto the stool next to her.

"Be my girlfriend," he said simply, and his confidence in himself practically leaped out onto her. She was nearly afraid it was infectious.

"Are you real?" Anomie murmured slowly, wondering if everything was a fever dream.

"Be my girlfriend," he repeated.

She raised an eyebrow as she lifted her bowl into her palm, slurping the noodles as she leaned back against the wall. The ramen had lost its taste now that her stomach felt numb. He waited patiently for her to finish, watching as she ate the ramen in under four minutes. She sat the ramen bowl down, and the Ichiraku chief motioned the price with his hands and she placed money down on the counter and stood up.

"No," she said finally, causing Maito Gai to look disheartened for a split second.

"I still have you in my dreams," he said with another wink as he blew a kiss her way.

"Dream me says no too," she said curtly, moving the curtain aside to walk away.

"She will come around. We are soulmates," she heard Gai say to the chief before she walked away from a hearing distance.

Only once she was far away, did she allow herself to laugh. It was a light thing, genuine in its sound. Anomie pressed her fingers to her lips as if surprised. Where it came from, she couldn't place. Somehow, her shoulders felt light, and somewhere from above her, she wondered if her spirit hung overhead. Or maybe, she had finally reclaimed her body.

Maybe, in these moments, in these choices that she made for herself, she had laid claim to her body.

What a beautiful thought, but Anomie wasn't sure. Kemuri still loomed over her, and she was drowning. She would wake up tomorrow.

She would keep trying.

Author's Note

I think I might have made Anomie's character slightly gay, but I'm not surprised in the long run. I meant for her relationship with Rin to grow into a sister kind of thing. I doubt it will be though.

Each chapter is long, because chapter-wise, this story shouldn't be very long.

UPDATE: Actually, the story and the chapters are going to be long. I miscalculated lol

Thank you for reading. I hope I didn't disappoint.

ヘザーの花 (Hezā no hana) (white Heather Flower) - symbolizes protection; Wishes will Come True