Chapter 5
Summer passed and fall slowly turned the weather into a slow hue of a cool breeze. For the first time, Anomie was able to see the leaves of the trees begin to change their shade and fall to the ground, littering the streets in their mess. The canals were now filled with fallen leaves, swept away by the breeze.
Rin's temperament had begun to heal as the seasons changed, and the girl even smiled more. Much hadn't changed between the two, as Anomie didn't allow it to. With money coming in from every client, Anomie kept the pay of rent and food for Rin's living expenses quite easily.
It happened just as Anomie thought it would, and she ended up on the rise of popularity. None of the other Oiran liked her, but such was to be expected in a profession so cut-throat and competitive. Their taunts grew as nights went on, but under Minami, Anomie remained untouchable and her name was changed in that house to 'Kiyomi'.
Being Kiyomi and Anomie at the same time became like second nature on the days where she snuck out to keep up pretext that she still lived alongside Rin. Playing as two people became like second nature from the moment she welcomed Rin home.
The flower of protection still stood strong under Rin's care. In the beginning it hadn't meant much to Anomie and she had given it to Rin as a passing whim. Eventually she began to take comfort in it and staring at it became her only source of comfort for the long nights that came while Rin was away on mission.
By the end of fall, her first client had taken Anomie's body for his own. He had proved his wealth, and had once been a regular with Minami until he saw the white hair of winter. Minami hadn't been happy at losing a client, but made no complaint as Anomie's popularity increased.
None of the girls liked giving their bodies, but Anomie's experience hadn't been so bad and she did her duty.
The older man wasn't so kind, and his hands left bruises on her skin.
The one on her neck looked the most apparent, but makeup covered it easily. Despite her flesh being scarred and stripped empty, her pockets were full and she was happy with that.
"The missions have been piling on lately," Rin complained, leaning her head against Anomie's shoulder as they walked through the village. "I'm so tired."
"Once I'm Chūnin, I'll make these mission go by fast," Obito said, happily grinning as he walked on Rin's other side.
"If you become Chūnin," came Kakashi's lazy comment from Anomie's right, and Obito's expression twisted into a scowl.
"I will! This year's Chūnin exams will be a breeze! I'm going to be the Hokage someday! You'll see, you bastard!" Obito snapped, and Rin giggled.
"I believe in you, Obito," Rin commented and Obito grinned, rubbing under his nose as his cheeks lightly flushed.
"You're giving him false hopes. He can't even activate his Sharingan," Kakashi commented simply, and Anomie could see the outline of a smirk through his mask.
"You bastard!" Obito jumped in front of Kakashi, finger drawn and pointed straight to Kakashi's face while Minato sighed from behind them.
Anomie began to reconsider meeting them at the gates for every mission's conclusion.
"Lets take this outside!" Obito snapped. "You and me!"
"We are outside, dumbass," Kakashi replied, impassively.
"Now, now," Minato said, attempting to bring order back to his team, but his face remained lighthearted and innocent. It wasn't nearly stern enough to do what he wanted.
"If you're going to fight, I suggest you do it in the training grounds," Anomie suggested, not attempting to stop them.
"Or better yet, you can try not fighting for once." Rin suggested, playfully shoving the other girl.
"I have a better idea." Kakashi's body disappeared and reappeared behind Obito, kunai to the kid's throat. "I win."
"You bastard! I wasn't ready!" Obito exclaimed while Kakashi only shrugged and walked off on his own.
"You'll show him when you become Chūnin," Rin said with a smile, causing Obito to grin.
"Minato-sensei, you have to treat me for a meal when the exams are done~!" Obito said with a grin.
"Only if you do well," Minato replied with a playful smile.
"You wait!"
»»⎯⎯⎯¤⎯⎯⎯««
Anomie's night was full and by the time she was done, her body was slightly sore and she felt dirty. She had taken the precautions on preventing pregnancy, but when she watched her thighs dripping moisture as she washed her body, her stomach felt full in the most disgusting way. The *Shinzou did their duty and scrubbed her down.
That did nothing to calm the feeling in her stomach as she found her throat give way to her small lunch into the toilet. The fear of pregnancy raided her thoughts and the Shinzou gave her the daily medicine to make it go away. She had no desire to meet with the head of the Yukakū house so soon just because of once mistaken pregnancy. The owners of brothels never took kindly to mistakes, but Anomie was vaguely surprised she was even still capable of having a child anymore.
She had always hated the medicine as it always made her insides burn and made it difficult to keep food in her belly, but it was worth the pain.
With the Chūnin exams going on, business was blooming as many came from all around the the country to try out Konoha's pleasure district. It was no surprise Anomie had become popular in the light of hundreds of perverts leering at her body all day. She doubted they cared about her age.
More than anything, she missed Rin. It was a dull ache that led her to sneaking out late in the night to get away. She was more athletic than the other Oiran, and running had always been her favorite pastime and her stamina had long since been built up from her prior years training under Ohashi, who had been a Shirabyôshi** dancerlong before she was a Tayū. Everything Anomie knew about seduction, dancing, and singing had come from the dead Tayū.
After the cleansing, the Shinzou dressed her before leaving her alone in her room. She slowly opened the sliding paper doors and felt the cool breeze drift into her hair. It was usually pinned up in many decorations, but for once, she allowed it to fall to her shoulders in a barrage of white. She sat, her bottom rested securely on her resting ankles as she felt little bits of dried leaves drift into the room and dart past her cheeks.
She sighed, slowly standing up and walking onto the outside halls that overlooked the trees. Her shoes remained by the door and she put them on before closing the sliding doors behind her and walking out of the house.
The streets of the red light district weren't too packed, and the hotels were glowing with lights, but she skipped those as she let her feet take her where she wanted.
Her stomach rumbled in hunger (which was a nice change since she hadn't been able to properly digest food in days) and that finally lead her to the ramen shop. She took a seat next to Kakashi, as if it were second nature. He looked like he just got through with training, like usual. Why he decided to train so late, she never bothered to ask.
Just like he never asked why she walked around so late in the night.
Teuichi smiled at her, his face kind, as he began making tare ramen. He never asked anymore since that was the only thing she ordered.
"Lovely night to show a girl his face," Anomie greeted, and Kakashi turned her way. She saw his lips form a scowl from behind the mask, causing her to fight back a smile. "Don't worry. If this is about the buck teeth," her voice dropped into a whisper as she leaned forward. "I won't judge."
"Shut up, Anomie," he retorted, rolling his eyes in a lazy manner.
"You look exhausted," she murmured, motioning to the bags growing under his eyes. "Don't overdo it with missions."
"It's a war. What do you expect?" He muttered, and by the time she blinked, half of his ramen was gone and his mask remained still on.
She clicked her tongue, vaguely impressed and surprised he actually dignified her words with a retort, "I expect you take care of yourself. Was I correct in assuming you can't cook your own nutritious meals?"
"Was I correct in assuming that you can't mind your business," Kakashi's eyes met hers, and her lips twitched in a held back smile before she lazily covered her lips with her palm.
"You were," she replied, and the sleeves of her kimono slipped down, and she quickly stopped its descent with her other hand. She didn't bat an eyelash as his eyes snapped to the bit of exposed bruises that was only visible for an instant. He said nothing against them.
"How is Rin?" Kakashi asked, glancing her way. Anomie blinked at the changed subject, but welcomed it.
"As expected. She still misses her mother, but time heals those types of wounds," Anomie sighed as a bowl of ramen was placed in front of her. She bowed her head in thanks and parted her chopsticks. "In time, the pain becomes a distant memory on most waking hours until she will get used it and it will numb over the course of her life." She glanced back towards Kakashi, finding he had frozen and his eyes were slightly wider. "That's how people deal with the death of a loved one...or so I've read. I wouldn't know personally."
"I see," came Kakashi's slow reply.
"She'll be okay and by the time Obito becomes a Chūnin, team Minato will be back together again." Anomie's voice gave away the humor and amusement almost immediately, and Kakashi scowled. "What don't you like about Obito anyway? He seems nice to me."
"He's always late for everything, he never follows the rules, and he's arrogant even though he has no skill," and like that Kakashi began to rant in a way Anomie had never seen from him. By the time he was done, Anomie had already finished her ramen.
"Wow," was Anomie's only comment after he had finished his speech before she broke out in a laugh.
"Other than that, he's not so bad," Kakashi finished as he turned his deadpan eyes to the girl. Seeing her laugh made him give a closed eyed smile in return.
"Well, he's on your team, so you'll get along eventually."
"Don't hold your breath."
"If I were you...I'd make up with him soon and start being friends," she commented in return, her eyes falling to his.
"Why?"
"It's a war Kakashi," Anomie replied, yawning into her palm. "People die everyday. Young and old, it doesn't matter. It's important to be on good terms with your friends, otherwise there will only be regret in death." Her thoughts darted to the nostalgic memory of Ohashi's smile and lips against her forehead.
"I don't think we're on particularly bad terms," came Kakashi's sigh.
Anomie shrugged, standing up and stretching her arms over her head, "You called him a dumbass and he threatened to make you eat your own ass this morning. But sure, despite that, you're on great terms." Anomie giggled, paying Teuichi and bowing her head. Kakashi followed suit and stood up. They both exited the food stall together and she turned her head towards him. "Were you waiting for me?"
"It's dangerous for a person who doesn't know how to fight to walk around at this time of night," he replied nonchalantly.
"My hero," her coo was emotionless, so he didn't take it seriously.
"Shut up."
"Whatever will I do without a ninja's protection?" She continued and he sighed.
"Anomie."
"I'll never be able to defend myself without the help of your strong arms."
"Gross."
She slightly giggled, breaking her emotionless façade as she held her wrist from behind her back. Their walk back to the Nohara complex was silent, as both were not the greatest fans of extended speech, but it was a comfortable silence and in made her feel rather safe with him by her side.
»»⎯⎯⎯¤⎯⎯⎯««
Anomie's eyes gave one last glance towards the seal below the heel of her palm before she gave her hand to Minami's Shinzou, who promptly pulled her close. Now that the time for it to be burned off had arrived, the action began to feel more like a punishment than a necessity. This didn't surprise her as the Shinzou held the metal branding, heating in the fire, and burned it into her skin without a hesitation.
Minami watched, smoking from her thin pipe as she blew smoke in Anomie's direction. The black tattoo was then replaced by scolding hot, pink skin. The pain seemed to never fade, and Anomie's knees gave out as her eyes clenched shut. The moment the last of the black tattoo, once shaped in a circle filled with unreadable kanji, faded and broke apart, Anomie felt her heart clench in pain. In that moment, the only she had had left of her childhood and her mother and her village was burned away in the steam of smoke and pain, much like everything else in her life.
For a second, a mere instant, Anomie's eyes fell to her other hand and saw it begin to disappear in smoke. Moments late it was flesh once more, making the vision seem like a hallucination rather than reality.
Minami obviously enjoyed Anomie's pain, and took to making it spread out into long periods of time. Anomie didn't particularly care that none of the Oiran liked her, as the customers took a shine to her, despite the small bruises that had begun to decorate her body underneath the robes.
Many of the men enjoyed creating new markings and new bruises on her skin, as a way to no doubt prove that she was theirs and no one else's.
She never saw those clients twice, and often declined their invitations, despite the gifts they would bring to win her favor. This was a strange custom of changes from her time in Kemuri, as there; she had no choice in whom she bedded.
But many nights afterwards she would have dreams where her body lost form and turned into smoke, faded into the night and drifting into the sky. That fate began to look inviting as nights dragged on.
If she merged with the sky, then maybe the emptiness in her heart would disappear.
»»⎯⎯⎯¤⎯⎯⎯««
"Anomie-chan!" Came the voice of Kurenai running to catch up to the girl. Asuma was in tow, like usual, and Anomie began to wonder if the two ever separated.
"Kurenai," Anomie greeted as the two walked side by side.
"Did Rin call you out too?" Kurenai asked with a grin and Anomie blinked before slowly nodding. "I wonder what it could be about? She sounded very excited."
Anomie's eyes darted up in a recollecting gesture as she remembered Rin's excited face, jumping on the bed and waking her up with a happy grin. "Yeah, she was, wasn't she?"
"It probably has to do with Kakashi," Asuma said, and he began to light a cigarette, a habit he had begun to get into more frequently as weeks passed. Every time Kurenai said something about it, he would only laugh and shrug her off.
"What makes you say that?" Kurenai asked, and Anomie chuckled.
"It's always about Kakashi," Anomie replied, and Asuma shrugged, obviously agreeing. "Has anything new happened to make this development?"
"Well, Obito became a Chūnin, and Kakashi is a Jounin, so I'm sure its one of those reasons," Asuma said in return, and Kurenai sighed.
"If she plans on making a party, Kakashi won't like it," Kurenai said with a smile.
Anomie had a tighter schedule as of late, so she hadn't heard about their advancement in the ninja ranks. Rin thinks she got a part time job, which, in a way, wasn't a complete lie.
"Obito might," Anomie said, and both laughed. "What?"
"No one throws a party for only becoming a Chūnin." Asuma replied as they neared the steps that led down to the meet up point. They saw Ebisu, Genma, and Gai up ahead and Anomie almost immediately sighed, causing Kurenai to slightly laugh.
"Maybe if you get a boyfriend, they won't hang off you so much," Kurenai suggested.
"Genma will," Asuma chuckled.
"I'm going to break his fingers one day," Anomie said in a monotone as they descended the steps and she saw Rin in the distance.
"An-chan! You came" Rin exclaimed, waving to her. Anomie immediately noticed her excited face, as she held up a piece of paper in crude handwriting. She saw Obito hide a bunch of flowers behind his back as Rin gave him one of the papers as well, but kept her mouth shut and wondered how Rin couldn't see his dejected face.
She looked down at the paper that read 'Project to give Kakashi a present to celebrate his becoming a Jounin (top secret)' and almost immediately began to smile. "Rin, these flyers...well, they're nice and all..." Asuma began as Rin handed everyone the papers, all but shoving it in Obito's hands, not noticing his dejected expression in the face of her excitement.
"They're completely unnecessary. You could have said this faster than you made it," Anomie finished as she looked up from the paper. Rin only grinned.
"Well, I didn't want anyone to overhear and blow the cover," Rin said, and everyone could see that she could immediately tell how stupid that was when she said it out loud, but no one said anything.
"Obito, I heard you became Chūnin," Anomie said while Rin chatted with everyone else. He seemed surprised that someone remembered over the spotlight on Kakashi. "Congratulations!"
"Thanks!" He said with a smile, although his eyes glanced towards Rin and Anomie followed his gaze before meeting his eyes. Her lips held a knowing smiling and she leaned in close to him for a whisper, causing him to lean back with reddening cheeks at her close proximity. She numbly wondered if she was ever that innocently timid.
"Did you get that bouquet to congratulate yourself?" She whispered, holding back her smile. His cheeks flared in red as she heard the flowers shuffle as he gripped them tight behind his back.
"S-Shut up!" He hissed in a stutter and she nodded, her lips still in a sly smile.
"My lips are sealed," she held her index finger to her lips in that motion and his cheeks grew more red.
"So, what do you plan on getting Kakashi, Rin?" Anomie asked, turning to Rin.
"I don't know, I was thinking something meaningful," Rin said with a smile.
"I will get him something that brings out my rival's pure potential of youth!" Gai's eyes flared up and Anomie blinked.
"Like a matching suit?" Anomie asked and Gai's expression froze as if it were the best idea in the world.
Kurenai couldn't seem to pass up this opportunity, and immediately agreed, "Kakashi would love that."
"And on his birthday you could get him legwarmers," Asuma agreed, using his cigarette to hide his smile.
Genma put his arm around Anomie's shoulders, as if they were magnets and he was connected to her at the hip. "I agree," he said, senbon in mouth. "He will love it."
Anomie's eye twitched and her eyes connected with Kurenai's, and their unspoken message of 'break his fingers' passed between them.
Girls gotta stick together, and in doing so, Kurenai held him down while Anomie pretended to break his fingers. She was planning on actually breaking his fingers, but Rin's clear disapproval stopped her from finishing the job.
This didn't do much for a lesson, as minutes later; his arm would be around her shoulders once more.
»»⎯⎯⎯¤⎯⎯⎯««
"I was thinking of making him an amulet...for protection," Rin said as they walked into the fabric store, Anomie's eyes were sunken in boredom as Rin forced them around many different shop in attempts to find the perfect gift.
"Rin," Anomie's voice broke through her once passive silence. "Speaking from Kakashi's point of view, he'll hate things that aren't useful."
"But it stands for protection!" Rin defended, adamant about her choice.
"Whatever. Don't come crying to me if you never see him wearing it."
"You're so mean."
"Just honest. That's a boring gift."
"An-chan! We talked about this. There's a thing called tact," Rin scolded, causing Anomie to roll her eyes.
"Tact is for idiots. And so are amulets. Even if you stitch it by hand."
"An-chan~ You're being rude."
"I'm being honest."
"Honestly rude."
"Whatever," and after fifteen minutes of arguing, Rin finally agreed that Kakashi probably wouldn't like it, and decided on getting him a medical kit.
»»⎯⎯⎯¤⎯⎯⎯««
"You stitched an amulet on the medical kit," Anomie commented as she watched Rin prepare the gift.
"For protection. With this, he'll have to be safe."
"Maybe you should give one to Obito... he did become a Chūnin," Anomie said, and Rin smiled, holding up another one that was on the table.
"I already made one~"
"That was sweet."
"Why do you sound so surprised?"
"No reason."
Rin frowned, but sighed in exasperation. "So what are you going to get him?"
"Probably something useful...like porn."
Rin pricked her finger on the needle in surprise as she coughed nervously. "What?"
"Y-You're not actually...that's not really going to be...your gift."
"I was thinking about it. I really like Mikoto-sensei's work. Rin, Kakashi is a growing boy with no parents. How else is he going to learn of the birds and the bees?"
Rin's face ignited red, and Anomie felt a twinge of nervousness prickle in her mind when she became unsure if the change in temperature in Rin's cheeks was out of embarrassment or rage.
"Did you not like my analogy? How about the kunai and the shuriken," Anomie suggested, and at the sight of her friend's increasingly darkening face, she continued. "You're right, the kunai would never fit through such a small hole..."
"Anomie, no." Rin's response was cold.
"What do you mean 'no'?"
"You won't contaminate Kakashi with trash."
"Have you seen him? He's already pretty contaminated. The porn will just be one soft nudge in the right direction."
"Anomie."
"Don't use my full name...it makes me feel like I'm being scolded for something."
"You are being scolded."
"Just stitch your amulet."
"I thought you said it was stupid?" Rin grumbled with a pout as she went back to stitching.
"I guess superstitious charms of protection couldn't hurt for your new mission."
"You sound worried."
"More people's names have been carved on the memorial stone lately..." Anomie grumbled, and Rin's expression softened as she reached over to grab Anomie's hand, giving it a light squeeze.
"Don't worry. I have both Kakashi and Obito to watch my back. I'll stay safe!" She grinned and for a moment, Anomie believed her.
"Be a good Iryō-Nin and keep your comrades safe, but in the meantime, be a good friend and stand by and watch as I give Kakashi-kun his porno...or you know, as an ex-Oiran," she ignored Rin's flinch. "I could of course, teach him the birds and the bees with lovely demonstrations."
"..."
"Why are you staring at me like that?"
"..."
"Rin...you're freaking me out to be honest...why are you giving me a protection amulet?"
"You're gonna need all the help you can get when I'm through with you."
"Is it just me or did that sound naughty? Oh, Rin, what would Kakashi say-OW!"
»»⎯⎯⎯¤⎯⎯⎯««
Anomie frowned, glancing down at the many porn magazines before finally finding one of Mikoto's books. She lifted it and quickly took it too the cash register, who was busy with his head in another book and took no notice of her young age as he allowed her to purchase the obvious smut.
She could hear Rin's complaint in the back of her mind, but didn't particularly care.
»»⎯⎯⎯¤⎯⎯⎯««
"Kiyomi-sama," Rika greeted, bowing down to Anomie before she promptly began to do her make-up for the night's work.
"Which client is it today?" Anomie asked, and her Shinzou made no hesitation to answer.
"You have been requested by Tojo-sama twice, but Hiroshi also requests you. Tojo is on his second visit, but Hiroshi would be making his third," Rika commented as she applied lip paint, red as blood, to Anomie's lips.
For an Oiran, a second visit meant that she didn't need to sell her body, but a third meant she would have to give him a full service, which she wasn't particularly in the mood for.
"Put it off. I'll accept Tojo request."
"What will I say?"
"Tell him I can't fit him in my schedule."
Usually, when she put off seeing a client, he grew offended and brought more gifts. She was almost surprised at how often it worked. Sometimes it backfired and clients would grow violent, but it was a little price to pay when she gains a shard of her sanity back.
"This will be the fourth time..." Rika warned, and Anomie felt her other Shinzou begin to pin up her hair.
Anomie didn't bother answering, and just accepted the warning.
She didn't want to be touched tonight, it was an unspoken comment, but one both Shinzou obviously understood.
All she wanted was the emptiness in her chest to disappear, but everything she did to make it leave, only made the emptiness swallow her insides.
Nights, she began to wonder if she made a mistake in coming back to this house. She was doing what she always did, and that was run.
She always ran away from every chance of happiness, and maybe a part of her didn't think she deserved to be happy. Kiyomi and Anomie's separate lives were beginning to rip her in two, and she could feel the cracks already begin to overtake her.
But that was okay.
If her body caved in, then maybe the emptiness would disappear.
She did her job, and she smiled, making Tojo feel like the only man in the world. He seemed reluctant to leave, and his hand even went near her inner thigh as he tried to get her to undress not long into her service. She held in her disgust at the way he stared at her, and only continued to innocently smile as she ushered him out.
It was only when she met with Rin and everyone else that she couldn't complete her duty. It was only when she laughed with everyone, did coming back her make her feel filthy.
No matter how many times she washed her body, no matter how hard she scrubbed, she could feel their hands. Everywhere, it felt like her skin was being caressed and touched at every breath.
When she was alone in her room, and night had shined out from the open sliding doors, she felt calmer. The wind brushed against her hair, down over her shoulders. She put on her shoes, and escaped the confines of the Yūkaku house. At first she walked, but before long her strides broke out into a run.
Her kimono opened up slightly when the wind rushed through her hair. The movement of her legs caused the kimono to unravel around them and allow wind to rush on her bare legs as her sandals made their noise against the ground.
The farther she ran from the house, the less she felt it strangle her and when she far enough, she leaned against the wall of a nearby building and slid down until her head sunk into her knees. Her breathing was ragged and her cheeks were flushed, but her heart no longer clenched tightly in her chest.
She didn't know how far she ran, or where she stopped, but found herself glancing up at the sound of footsteps.
They were clumsy, and when she met the disoriented eyes of a man, her own eyes turned blank as she stared on the drunk.
"Hey," he slurred, and neared her small frame. "You're very beautiful? Live around here?"
She didn't answer, doubting he care for her answer. She only stood up as he got intimately close to her frame. "I'm 13."
He was obviously in his late 20s, but his eyes didn't waver. "I don't care." They never do.
It was stupid, she realized, to wander in the dead of night in little but a thin kimono. She knew that instantly, and the man hands held her against the wall. Konoha wasn't safe with the foreigners wondering the streets from the Chunin exams and the war sucking away everyone's humanity.
She didn't want to be touched, but his lips attacked hers in an instant. She could taste the alcohol on his tongue and her strength could not over power him. If she bit him, she knew from experience that bad things would happen to her.
It's only flesh.
He reached for her breast and squeezed.
It's only flesh.
It was like a chant at this point, but her body shook against her thoughts as she tried to get out of his clumsy grasp.
It's only flesh.
She knew this, but her stomach felt sickened to the point where she couldn't breathe.
And that was when her sight was filled with smoke. The moment he forced her tongue into his mouth, he tore away as smoke covered his face in a haze of grey. His face was centimeters from her, and his eyes widened in pain as the smoke went into his mouth and nose, filling his head until he was fighting for breath.
"Monster," he screamed, and the streets was empty, so no one heard his calls. Anyone who did obviously didn't care much to get involved.
Anomie's eyes were wide as he thrashed for life before he fell still. The smoke slowly exited from his lips in a line, merged into her body until it disappeared. Her knees gave in and she crawled to feel for a pulse, finding nothing of the sort.
She brought both of her hands, shaking, to cover her mouth as she stood up quickly and backed away from his body. Her head slammed rough against the way, gripping at the bricks to aid her wobbly legs into alignment.
She didn't know what happened, but all she could do was run and leave it behind.
»»⎯⎯⎯¤⎯⎯⎯««
The moment she entered Rin's apartment, she was greeted by darkness. Her body was still shaking, and she didn't turn on any lights as she immediately went to Rin's room and crawled next to the girl. Her eyes clenched shut as she dug her head into the pillows, unsure of what else to do and too afraid to touch her or hug her or do anything but lay there.
Rin turned towards Anomie's frame, her eyes opening with a drowsy expression. "An-chan?" She whispered, and stared over to the girl, who did her best to stop shaking. "A-Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Long night," Anomie barely managed out, and Rin opened the covers so Anomie could get underneath them.
Whether or not Rin could tell the difference between the truth and a lie, Anomie didn't know, but just when she thought Rin was none the wiser, a small hand held onto hers. In that moment, she knew Rin knew she was shivering and her skin was as cold and clammy as ice.
Anomie was afraid to touch her, but couldn't deny that her body needed Rin's warmth, so she submitted to the touch and felt her shivering slowly cease.
Anomie had taken lives before, but this felt like her body had turned into smoke. It felt like her form had lost its shape and suffocated the life from that man. She could physically feel his last breath against her lips and it lingered on her skin and crawled over her until she wanted to evaporate into nothing.
Taking a life with an instrument felt different that taking a life with her own body.
She wasn't shivering out of fear.
It felt pleasant...
The scariest part was that a little portion of her empty heart began to reform in her chest. Bit by bit, pieces of herself were coming back into her grasping palms.
Author's Note
*Shinzou - Newly fledged prostitutes, usually in service of a Geisha/Oiran. They were licensed as prostitutes, dressed like prostitutes, and sat in the latticed parlor like prostitutes, but they didn't actually take customers for a few years. In the 17h century, any courtesan who had recently made her debut. From the 18th century on, a teenaged or early 20's prostitute who served in a courtesan's retinue and tried to find a patron to help her reach a higher rank. Sometimes translated as "apprentice courtesan," though shinzô ranked below heyamochi.
**Shirabyôshi - High-class dancers of the Heian era who performed in male clothing. Technically not courtesans, but often considered the forerunners of tayû and other highly accomplished courtesans.
The chapter title of this one is Orange Mock~
I am continuing on with my flower theme.
Here is the meaning of each flower for the chapter~ ^_^
オレンジモック (Orenjimokku) (Orange Mock) - in the language of flowers means 'deceit'
