Chapter 17

Anomie sometimes thought she was an echo. She was an echo of Fuyu. She was an echo of Kyoko. She was an echo of Kiyomi. She was an echo of Anomie. She had three whore names in her time, and each made her feel more detached.

So hearing her name from the Third's lips didn't make her feel much of anything. "Anomie."

"Visiting hours are over," Anomie's response was short, and her legs were folded in a crisscross. Her bed lay perfectly made behind her, and her eyes were closed with two Anbu who stood stationed to each of her sides. She doubted they knew she ditched the confinement of the apartment at night, leaving behind a clone in her place.

She doubted they knew that she'd visit Kakashi out of spite, and Kakashi obviously didn't plan on ratting her out.

Mostly, she wanted fresh air, as she had grown spoiled on the open winds. As a whore in Kemuri, she hadn't gone outside much, so being able to feel the sun cooking on her skin was like miracle she never even bothered to dream. She musingly wondered if it was the excessive sunlight that had began turning her eyes a dimmer yellow. It was an odd discovery to find that very morning that her eyes were beginning to lose some of their pink hue. She didn't mind the change as it made her feel closer to Orochimaru.

"Games are rather beneath you," the Third let out a light chuckle, signaling the two Anbu to disperse. They set each other weary glances, but bowed and walked out of the apartment immediately.

"There's not much else to do since my suspension," she admitted, not bothering to open her eyes as she continued meditating.

"I am working on your release," he admitted, his pipe balancing in between his lips.

She finally opened her eyes, but remained expressionless, "Why?"

"That's why I'm here," the man's eyes spoke a different story, and in a mere instant he dropped a folder of documents in front of her.

Her eyes watched it fall, but they slowly met his gaze the next second, "I don't have much interest in paperwork, Lord Hokage." The chill of her voice obviously had no affect on him, and he merely raised a brow.

"It was found in the newest tomb. I believe this particular tomb is the source of all the experiments and missing children," the man didn't elaborate.

"So what?"

"It's about you...Iburi."

Almost immediately her brows rose, and her eyes finally rested on the folder. "So what?" She repeated.

"I've never heard of the Iburi clan...but the information written in those files tells me why."

Her lips locked together and her mind immediately put the information together. She knew the person who held that information of her name had to be Orochimaru, and she knew the Third wasn't lying when said the information was found in the tombs. She knew what the Third was saying Orochimaru was responsible for.

Her head knew, but the betrayal stung far too much for her heart to believe it. "So what?" She repeated, but the statement came out weak.

"You were born here. Not in this village, but in the land of fire, closer to Konoha than Kemuri was."

She felt her eyes narrowing. "I don't understand what you're trying to get across. Cut to the point. I'm meditating."

The Third didn't look offended by the girl's tone, but he looked too exhausted to be affected by much of anything. "Your clan has been highly experimented on...and I believe you have as well."

Anomie finally reached for the documents, opening up the folder that was slightly coated with dust. The pages were crinkled as if they were worn out. Her name was nowhere to be found, but Iburi was everywhere. The first thing she saw when she opened the folder was the seal that once rested on her wrist.

The seal that was burned away and the seal that Jiraiya had fixed.

The very same seal she had on her arm since she as a child.

The same one that Orochimaru had placed upon her skin.

"What do you want from me?" She asked, her voice nearly coming out weak.

"If you are the same Iburi mentioned in those papers, you have an abilities that should have killed you long ago. A child like you cannot exist," he said simply, and Anomie glanced up.

"If you're being purposely vague, then you're being purposely annoying."

"You were injected with the cells of Hashirama, like many of the children of that decade who had been kidnapped and killed," Sarutobi's voice was grave and Anomie glanced back down at the documents, her eyes not picking up nor processing the full sentences.

"I don't know what a Hashirama is, Lord Hokage," she admitted, reluctant to speak about her lack of knowledge.

"Hashirama is a name you'd learn in academy days. I am not surprised you do not know of it. He was the first Hokage and had the ability to manipulate wood. It is the mixture of Earth Chakra and water."

"Not possible," Anomie replied, and her eyes snapped to meat his. "If you're implying I have earth and water Chakra affinities, you're mistaken. I am wind and fire. Nothing more. A single person can't be all five."

"It's unlikely, but not impossible," the Hokage, scratched his chin and Anomie felt annoyance rise in her chest. "And there's far more that I am implying about your affinity, as many Shinobi before you have had the power to manipulate all five elements, Orochimaru being one of them. What I am implying is more."

"I've never used earth or water. It isn't my affinity," Anomie's insistences made Sarutobi shake his head.

"As much as I doubt your conclusion," the twinkle that gleamed in the Third's eyes blew out. "That isn't why I'm here." He took a step forward and knelt down to her level. "The man who is responsible for the kidnappings and the deaths is Orochimaru. I believe the thought has been running through your mind as well. You aren't stupid after all." Her jaw clenched, but her expression remained blank. "I thought it was odd when he sought you out as his student.

"Orochimaru doesn't seek students. I've never seen him show interest in someone as much as he has shown in you. He insisted and undermined me through Shimura Danzo to be stationed to guard you. He insisted on taking you on missions. He insisted on being by your side. At first I thought it was a sign that perhaps he was changing his ways and developing bonds."

Anomie felt a rush of rage that she pushed down until she could feel it in her throat, swelling in her chest. She didn't know why she was getting angry, but it was a unwelcoming emotion.

"I was wrong. I wanted to believe in him because he is strong and he's my first student. He had the strength to be a leader, but there's darkness in his heart that lacks the compassion necessary. I realized it many years ago that everything he does has an angle of aiding his own goals," the Hokage's words spurned the rage in her heart even further until her fists were clenched at her side.

"That doesn't mean anything to me," her lie was toneless, and her fists unclenched until she was calm.

"It should," the Third's voice was simple and wise and kind. In most people, it might have spurred warmth, but Anomie only felt the cold echo of that seal. "Because Orochimaru will do whatever it takes to get what he wants, and right now I believe he wants you."

"It doesn't matter," she stated in swift response, her eyes unblinking. "It doesn't matter what he wants of me... I am wondering what you want of me."

Because everyone wants something and nothing in this world comes free.

»»⎯⎯⎯¤⎯⎯⎯««

How odd. It swallowed me up whole and I never realized just how easily I fall into a waiting man's grasp. It doesn't seem to matter because like an over-ripe peach, I seem to fall to the ground. I didn't know where the peach would roll. I didn't know if it would get stepped on and smashed. I didn't know if someone would pick it up and let it fulfill its function.

No. Anomie was worse than overripe peach. Even then, birds would pick it apart and ants would eat what's left. The rind would be put to use and fertilize the earth.

Parts of her were beginning to chip away and soon enough there would be nothing left and her insides would cave in and she'd disappear.

Long ago, she dreamed of disappearing. When she was eleven she would imagine that she was free and born in some far away distant land, in love with a prince. These fantasies were worthless and when she awoke, her prince was an old merchant who loved to be dressed in diapers and covered head to toe with Vaseline and spanked.

She awoke to a council elder who grew aroused when women cried. He would specifically ask for the only girl in the house unable to cry at will. She remembered asking Ohashi to choke her until tears of pain unfolded her insides as rough hands gripped her hips.

The folder felt heavy in her hands, and she barely realized that tears were spilling from her eyes with no regard. Memories spilled through her with such pain that she couldn't breathe and the droplets wet the pages and ran the ink.

She was crying without the aid of being choked by a dead Tayū.

The pain rocked her body until she was forced to hunch over until her shoulders were shaking. Her hands pressed over her lips, preventing loud noises from escaping. She didn't want anyone to hear, least of all herself.

She remembered Minami's words, so long ago when Anomie freely sold herself to the whorehouse of Konoha, long before Konoha's Anbu division bought her freedom. She remembered the frightful harrowing fear.

"I will destroy you."

Minami's voice was an echo as well. A high Tayū of Konoha. Her voice was a high and mighty as her breasts.

Konoha was filled with perverts. Men who wanted her to pretend to be dead while they had their way with her body. Men who wanted her to bleed so they could get it up.

Why...then...do I want to protect this place?

This bottomless pit of debauchery. I can crawl out of the bog, but I my feet will track mud no matter where I go.

Anomie's head sunk into her knees and she felt the weight of pressure fall upon her shoulders until it seemed like she was sinking into the cushion of her bed. Perhaps there never was an escape. Perhaps there were only the lies on whatever she was good for.

Her fingers wrapped around the papers and scrunched them up into balls, tossing them to the corner of the room.

It seemed there really wasn't much left for her to do but follow orders...because the last choice she made on her own led her straight into that bottomless pit in the depths of a murky lake. It led her to reeking like old men and debauchery.

The fact of the matter is, maybe she wasn't a peach at all. Perhaps she was an egg. An egg that had all its filling sucked away, leaving behind nothing but useless shell just waiting to break.

Nothing would ease the pain and the memory of Kakashi's lips only heightened it. The memory of his false confession. The memory of his arms.

It was all useless and a lie.

"I love you Anomie." The silk merchant said he loved her to...but he still left on a journey around the land selling his products after promising to free her.

All Anomie was a beautiful face, but everyone forgot her once she turned around.

Without fail.

She didn't even have a personality. All she did was take on the qualities others demanded of her.

If they wanted a girl who was violent and demanding, straddling their body with a sadistic grin, she could play the part.

If they wanted a girl who was timid and moaned at every brush of skin as if she were on fire from their touch, she could play the part.

She could play any part but at the end of the day, she was an echo.

She was unable to make a noise without someone telling her how to do it.

She was nothing but a voice, copying the motions of another.

»»⎯⎯⎯¤⎯⎯⎯««

Perhaps, in a way, that was why it felt good to walk over the corpses of the two Anbu ninja that had been watching her all day. A part of her enjoyed feeling her hand lose form and reform just in time to rip through the fox's heart.

She wasn't surprised they fell for as stupid an act as crying out, "help". They came running to her side with no real big concern. Perhaps that was because she had never rebelled or showed a single negative emotion. Every bad trait that was said about her was hearsay.

It was a boring death and she killed them quickly.

Undoubtedly, Kakashi would be the first to find the bodies.

She realized that with cold dread only after she had taken their lives. Her hands were covered in blood as she felt her heart turn uncontrollable in her chest.

But for Anomie, her heart has never ruled over her. She walked over those bodies and turned into smoke because that was what she had to do.

»»⎯⎯⎯¤⎯⎯⎯««

The village felt so distant when she was above it, and her head was filled with cool remedies of nothing when her feet hit the ground. She could tell the village was in disarray with the new discovery of the laboratory. Anbu were scouring every corner, and a part of her already knew who they were looking for.

Perhaps she always knew that Orochimaru was a monster. Perhaps she always knew that he framed her and isolated her from the village. Perhaps she always knew that he wasn't the man she thought he was. It all didn't matter because this world is full of monsters and if you can't fight them...

Then become them.

That being said, it was odd that her monster self had fallen in front of Rin's grave.

The cemetery was dark and the sky was beginning to dim with falling sun.

Her face was blank as she stroked her fingers over Rin's name, "I'm sorry."

Her head hung until the force of her shoulder were the only thing keeping her body upright. She couldn't even remember the curve of Rin's smile anymore, and the distant movement of her hero's face, fading in her memory stung far more than the girl's death.

"I'm going to do some bad things..." Anomie knew her voice wasn't being heard, but she had to tell someone before she disappeared. "I'm so sorry...I can't keep my promise..."

It was only then that she noticed the Hezā flowers, growing at the side of the grave. That once precious flower that sucked in Rin's Chakra and stood standing long past summer. Anomie couldn't remember Rin's smile, but she remembered that flower, old and withered and meant to protect.

Her hand hovered over it, and slowly her fingers wrapped around them and ripped them out by the root, tossing them to the side.

"He was right...you were here," the man's voice broke Anomie from her thoughts as she felt her body freeze. She didn't turn, but noticed that his voice was soft and repressed and rather beautiful.

"Go away..." Anomie's response made the man chuckle, and she forced herself to glance in his direction.

He had white hair, almost as pale as hers. His eyes were dark, and shadowed by his glasses that hung on his nose. She didn't much care for his appearances, and his eyes were shadowed in amusement.

"Going away wouldn't serve any purpose. I am Kabuto."

"I don't care."

His lips quirked into another amused smile, "Orochimaru is on the run. I am to lead you to him."

That obviously caught her attention, and he immediately noticed life coming back into her eyes at the mere mention of his name. His amusement grew as he offered the girl his hand. Her light pink eyes shined with a near flash of gold, but she ignored his offering and stood up on her own.

"I'm quite done with this village anyway," she said simply, and noticed the amusement cloud through the man, Kabuto, as if she were a rolling peach, falling ripe from a tree and into his open grasp.

"Yes. He said you might be. Luckily, there's a place for you at his side," Kabuto admitted, and she shook her head.

How many people have told her that before? It was all becoming rather dull and annoying.

By the time she began following Kabuto, the sun had already set in the horizon and the grave of Rin's was covered in shadow.

No one noticed that in the place of the flowers that had been pulled out at the root, was the beginning of a sapling that hadn't been there prior.

It was small, but strong enough to one day turn into a tree.


Author's Note

Well, there it is. I'm happy to have finally released this moment. Anomie is certainly a weak character right now and emotionally, I hope to make her stronger with more backbone eventually.

Dokuzeri (ドクゼリ) or rather, Water Hemlock, is a flower that grows in ditches and marshy ground. It works well with Anomie's 'bog' imagery in the chapter. It is also called Cicuta. They have a distinctive small green or white flowers arranged in an umbrella shape. Water hemlock is considered one of North America's most toxic plants, being highly poisonous to humans.

The plants contain a toxin named cicutoxin which causes seizures. This poison is found in all parts of the plant but is most concentrated in the roots, which is most potent in the spring. Besides the almost immediate seizures, other symptoms include nausea, vomiting, abdominal pains, tremors and confusion. Death is usually caused by respiratory failure or ventricular fibrillation and can occur just a few hours after ingestion.

Ul'Yana useless flower facts come to an end~ (I guess knowing what's poisonous is kinda useful~)

So, Anomie has left the village, certain things are left unsaid for now. I purposefully let out certain details and right about now, in the anime, Kakashi would be meeting the Iburi clan. I am not so certain how I will be including them into the story yet, as the details are faint, but I hope to wrap up Kakashi Gaiden soon so I can move onto other parts of the Naruto universe.

So far, I've been forced to listen to a playlist of songs that remind me of this story so I won't lose inspiration. Most of it is in German to be honest. Meine Soldaten by Maxim is my favorite~

But I also like Gasoline by Halsey. Now I've gotten into Echo by Jason Walker. Those are my three main playlist songs for Anomie's character~

Thank you for reading, and I hope to continue to make this story. I am uncertain where I'm gonna end it, but I hope to end it around chapter 30 if I'm lucky and inspiration keeps me going ^-^