Chapter 27
Sakura didn't wake up for days...nights and nights. The nights were the worst. The nights were the times when her mother would weep herself to sleep and wait for the morning in fear that Sakura wouldn't make it that long. Her mother, Tsubaki, always stood against the life of a ninja, but she had learned long ago that standing in the way of a child's dream was wrong.
But now, as the moon raised heavy in the night sky, Tsubaki only wished she had protested. She wished she had screamed in rebellion against the broken ninja system. She wished to protect her daughter and keep her safe against the path that broke many children in the war that butchered Tsubaki's brothers.
It was that very same war that led her husband into an early grave at the hands of a demon that ransacked the east side of the village.
And to hear that her daughter had been hanging around with that monster nearly broke Tsubaki's heart, but to hear that news only after it was too late had nearly caused the woman to follow her husband into the ground.
"You are only a child..." Sakura's mother wept, holding onto her daughter's hand as if it were the only thing keeping the woman grounded. "But I promise I will do better...I would rather burn this village to the ground than let it drag you into its battles."
Tsubaki, of course, would forever curse Kougin Anomie's name into the depths of hell and back again.
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Sakura Haruno thought the worst moments of her life would rest upon Sasuke never noticing her, or when Ino called her billboard head in front of the entire class. She thought the devastation and horror could never get any worse than that sort of betrayal.
But hearing from her own mother, who she always believed deep down that she supported her, to hear from that same woman that she had no business continuing to practice the ninja arts nearly broke her in half. The tears rolled down her cheeks in a silent disbelief.
"It's dangerous...I almost lost you. I cannot handle you in this life." Tsubaki Haruno's heart broke with the look of pure devastation on her daughter's face, but she could not relent.
It was all right if she lived in hatred and resentment of her mother, as long as she at least lived.
But Sakura Haruno did not feel hatred, only the extreme moment of confusion that overtook her heart.
And then, in that deathly silence, she remembered the look in that woman's eyes right before she had overtaken Sakura's body.
"You will likely never understand."
Sakura felt the tears flow like acid from her eyes.
It was true. She did not understand.
But she knew that she'd forever curse that woman's face until the day she dies.
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"Kimimaru," Anomie's voice was in a calm lull that caused the man to come to an abrupt halt as he began to turn a corner of the intricate hallways ahead of her. She batted her lashes with a swift smile as she felt her heels echo against the ground.
"Ah, so you are back." Kimimaru glanced over towards with a blank expression that nearly caused her lips to open and part without a word to say. "Did you enjoy reminiscing with your old friends?"
"I have no old friends." There was much Anomie could have said, but she settled on the simple response without much reprieve as she lifted her white hair and rolled it into a bun so it would part from being a distraction for the newly assigned mission. "And if I recall, you are a rather lonesome sort as well, correct?"
"Why must you always turn my attempts at conversing into an insult or a jab?" He asked with a simple frown as his thin white brow lifted up at the condescending tone that the former courtesan used.
"I thought it was obvious," Anomie replied as she finished tying her hair into intricate loops. "I don't like you."
"If I recall, you don't like anyone."
"Very true." She finally agreed.
"I'm already packed for this mission. Are you sure you are ready for it so soon after getting back?"
"One more day of rest won't do me any good," she said simply, slowly noticing that the bags under his eyes had once more darkened in contrast to the last time she has seen him. She briefly felt a flicker of curiosity before it was drowned out in indifference.
Kimimaru wasn't a child she despised. After all, it was hard to hate a kid who was too young to have caused her any grief. She just didn't like the future she saw him living under the never ending and dominating thumb of Orochimaru.
She didn't like that look of pure and unconfined loyalty struck itself so closely to his heart. It was like looking into mirror. She wanted to smash and crumble that reflection to dust.
And she didn't like that he had taken such a shine to her. She didn't like when an 11 year old would nip at her heels and examine every move she made as if he had never seen a person fight before.
More than any of that, she didn't like that at age 11, this kid was able to master Jutsu that even she had difficulty comprehending.
"Maybe not, but I can wait a day to begin if you feel like resting." Kimimaru said with a shrug as she scoffed and adjusted her bag that was strapped over her shoulder.
"You mock me quite exquisitely," Anomie replied instead as she rolled her eyes in a quick motion and deciding against taking him up on his condescending offer.
"Well, it's either I go this mission with you or I go with Nichiyaki."
Anomie did understand the hesitation that Kimimaru had when it came to traveling and fighting along side a medic ninja such as Nichiyaki. The young boy always enjoyed fighting along someone who knew how to properly mold their Chakra in combat.
Overall, there was simply no point in fighting alongside someone who couldn't teach Kimimaru anything new. Neither one of them had an interest in the medical world anyway.
But she didn't need to tell Kimimaru that she too believed medical Ninjutsu was a useless party trick. Instead, she merely scoffed, "I think you could use a bit more variation in your Jutsu. Maybe eventually, you'll be able to actually be able to heal the enlarged hole when the stick comes out of your ass."
"That was rather rude. It looks like you've developed a mood. Were there complications in Konoha?" Kimimaru tilted his head to the side, and she found that his question nearly struck a nerve, but she instead let out a slight sigh.
"Some things didn't go as smoothly as I planned," she admitted, glancing down and finding he was staring straight into her eyes.
"But you came out unharmed..." He replied, and she shook her head. "You usually do."
"I suppose that is true, but there are different ways to be harmed without the need for blood," Anomie slowly admitted as she turned on her heel to leave. Kimimaru followed at her side, and she didn't look back to see if he had understood the monotone of her words.
More than anything, she was about ready to feel the open wind on her cheeks as she fled through the trees. She didn't much care who followed on her heels just as long as they didn't get her killed.
For a moment, she felt an odd sense of guilt before she tossed it behind her and squeezed her eyes shut. It took a moment longer to forget the look in Kakashi's eyes when her palm had torn through his side. It took even longer to get up the desire to open her eyes.
It was a dangerous moment where she allowed herself to think that perhaps it would be easier for everyone if she just died.
But that is a weak thought that my heart won't let me forget.
But Anomie's heart wasn't her master and she continued to walk forward.
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Kakashi's face was in a deadpan when he looked at each of his new team's files. There were two boys and one girl.
"Weak." Kakashi muttered. They were only children, but they were older than he had been when he had gotten his first kill. The blood still remained on his hands when he closed his eyes.
They were weak.
And Kakashi felt something akin to pity that he was likely to be the one to watch the hope fade from their eyes. Their romantic idea of the ninja world was likely to be crushed. He had to be the one to crush it.
There was no glamor in being a ninja. It was sweat and blood and the reward for all that hard work is stitches and grave stones.
His hand trailed to his side where he could still feel Anomie's fingers if he let the memory strengthen. The wound was still fresh and if he pressed he could still feeling the aftermath of bruising.
He squeezed his eyes shut once more before glancing down at the files in his palms. He couldn't bring himself to get up from his spot next to Rin's grave to meet these children. His back rested against the stone and he slowly rested his head against the chiseled engraving of Rin's name. He let the sun cook into his skin as the files fell between his legs.
"Still sitting there?" The voice nearly jolted him awake and he glanced over to find the spot next to him now filled with Rin's form. Her smile was just as he remembered it as it spread across her face in a swift motion. "So moody."
When he looked behind him, he found he was sitting against the building of his house. It was odd how natural the old bark felt against his back, and yet it filled him with a sense of nostalgia as if it shouldn't be natural.
"What are you doing here?" He asked, and Rin giggled.
"If you must know, I was looking for you. You're not usually late to training. Minato-sensei was worried," Rin commented and Kakashi rolled his eyes.
"Obito was there too?"
"I was surprised he beat you as well."
"I'm skipping for today." Kakashi finally announced with a slowly forming frown.
"That doesn't sound like something you'd do," Rin reached over and ran her palm under Kakashi's stray bangs to feel his forehead.
"You don't have a fever. Is something a matter?"
Kakashi's heart slightly sped when he felt her skin against his. Before she could pull her hand away, he pressed his palm against the back of her hand and shut his eyes. For some reason, he felt like their time was limited. He was afraid that if he'd open his eyes, she'd be gone.
"You know, you can talk to me if there's ever anything wrong."
"What if you're not there anymore?" Kakashi asked, and his voice cracked. It was an odd emotion that he didn't understand, causing his heart to quake. "What if when I open my eyes...you're gone?"
"Many people care about you enough to listen." Rin whispered. "I tell all my problems to Anomie...she's always there for you too...and so is Kushina-san and Minato-sensei...even Obito. We're all here for you."
Kakashi didn't understand why her words struck a nerve so when he tore away from her palm he felt his head hit something hard. His eyes opened and saw that he was back in the cemetery, leaning against Rin's grave.
He couldn't remember falling asleep, and he glanced down to see the files had fallen down in between his legs.
He was alone.
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"You wrecked some serious havoc in the village." The voice flooded Anomie's ear and forced her to pause as she glanced towards the source of the noise, only to find an upheaval of dirt where two footprints once resided.
Then the voice hovered overhead and Anomie craned her neck to glance over to the legs that dangled over a tree branch. She felt a rush of annoyance that she allowedKimimaru to scout on ahead of her.
"Looking for me?" The woman's eye was covered in a bandage and her hair was weaved in intricate orange curls. She wore an outfit that resembled a street performer or a bathing suit. Her legs were wrapped in long ties that connected to what looked to be ballet shoes.
"Who are you?" Anomie asked after a moment of hesitation.
"I am Izana Tsukasa. Rank four in line of commander in Root. I am in awe to meet the troublemaker of history...the one and only Koneko." Tsukasa did not so much as crack a smile in Anomie's direction as she clapped her hands with a calm expression in her visible eye. It took Anomie a moment to realize that the woman, whose face remained in a deadpan, was using sarcasm. "Congratulations to being so infamous."
Anomie tensed as the name of Root filtered out the rest of Tsukasa's words and she swiftly jumped in attack. Her fingers morphing into a swift Jutsu as she summoned a katana from one of her many seals that remained in formation on her arms. The blade shot through the bark, but the woman's speed flew right past her and before she could so much as blink, Tsukasa was behind her.
In Tsukasa's hand was Anomie's blade that was so delicately placed in between her pointer finger and thumb. "Work on that speed. I walk faster than that." Tsukasa wasted not a moment longer before she dropped the katana at Anomie's feet.
Anomie raised a brow, finding that her palms were red from the force that Tsukasa had so gracefully ripped said blade from her clutching fingers. "Tickle me intrigued. What is one of Danzo's soldiers doing so far from their cozy home."
Tsukasa cracked a smirk. "While I may be in root and sworn to serve the devil in the shadows, do not be mistaken to believe that I am his soldier."
"The Root division are as loyal to him as dogs. What makes you so different?"
"My loyalty remains to my friends," Tsukasa replied with a single moment of indifference. "We have a common enemy...one of my friends is in danger and a massacre is on the horizon."
"I don't care if the Uchiha clan lives or dies."
"You are smarter than you look." Tsukasa nearly smiled kicking the katana up as if it were as light as a ball. Anomie snatched it by its halt as it came her way. "But the Hokage has decided to extend his trust in me...and that means he has extended it to you as well."
"What would you have me do?" Anomie raised her palm right when Tsukasa motioned to speak. "Not that I'm agreeing, but call it a cat's curiosity. The documents alone would be enough to indict Shimura Danzo as the misguided murderer that he is...why go through all these backhanded methods. Why come to me?"
"The village needs Danzo...regardless of what he has done. He keeps the peace in ways that you could never understand. And the Uchiha clan is a vital part of this village. If it can be avoided, we would rather avoid complete unnecessary bloodshed."
"I do not care about the politics of it, Izana." Anomie shook her head. "I am more interested in how you found me so easily rather than why you found me."
"The Hokage told me that you wanted to protect the village...we need your help. If that doesn't sway you then perhaps you should remember what you are protecting." In moments, Tsukasa tossed an amulet, stitched with the words 'protection' in the familiar way Rin had once done.
"Where did you get this?" Anomie asked with furrowed brows. She had thought it would be lost forever.
"Someone who still cares about your miserable existence... I snatched it from him."
Kakashi's face brought a warm ember in her throat and for a moment she worried that her emotions were flat and clear on her face.
"What would you have me do?"
"I would have you remember the promise you made to the Third Hokage a year ago, before you acted on your own and betrayed your words. I would have you fight for the village that needs you. Put aside your personal vendettas and help us save a clan."
"I owe nothing to the Uchiha." Anomie replied.
"You owe your life to the future of this village that you have so deeply disrupted...more than you know."
"What would this village ask of me?"
"We ask that you become the shadow...we ask that you take orders and we ask that you aid in a massacre."
"Aid? Not prevent?"
"Many in the Uchiha are beyond reach...even if we brainwash a leader. The Uchiha elders must go."
"I would not be able to get so close."
"You just assume you will be alone. A weasel will be your guide."
Anomie's brows furrowed and she crushed the amulet in her palm. "What else would this village have of me?"
Tsukasa nearly looked visibly relieved. "Nothing you haven't done before. In the meantime, I will have to clean up your mess."
"You are a snarky kid."
"You have no idea the turmoil you have caused...do you?"
Anomie tilted her head for a moment of apprehension. "Turmoil is all I can do these days."
Tsukasa glanced toward the sky, and for a moment it looked as if she was staring straight into the sun. "That amulet...I might of stitched a seal into the back."
Anomie turned it around and she saw an intricate seal placed with small signs of the woman's Chakra. She felt a moment of anger rush into Anomie's bones at the obvious desiccation of Rin's gift.
When she looked back up to Tsukasa's face she saw the woman was slightly smiling. "What? Do you not like my needlework?" She let out a small laugh. "Relax. Think of it as a form of communication. If I ever need to speak to you, it will take you to a special sanctuary of my clan. Our summoning animals have never liked outside guests, but I am sure they all won't mind your presence in their home if you treat them with respect."
"Make your point before I rip out your tongue from your throat."
Tsukasa's lips pulled into a tight smile. "You are just as I thought you to be...absolutely irritating but if your the village needs you then so be it."
"I am not what this village needs. Through the kaleidoscope in which I view this world, I have long since learned that I can only bring death and more death forever and ever."
"Then let's make sure those deaths are for the good of Konoha and not for the good of yourself, shall we?"
"That is not something I can promise."
"Try and meet me half way, Koneko. I am trying not to shove your own blade down your smart ass mouth."
"You couldn't even if you wanted to."
Tsukasa covered her face with the shadow of her hair as she attempted to control her laughter. "Perhaps we will see the outcome of that one day, An-chan."
Anomie motioned to strike the woman where she stood, but before she could so much as twitch, Tsukasa was gone.
It took Anomie moment to realize that this woman hadn't needed fancy ninjutsu to disappear as she had. It had been pure speed that outclassed hers in every way.
She couldn't help but feel a moment of defeat before she shook her head and erased the woman from her mind. She briefly clutched the amulet in her palm before she realized what she was doing. Upon realizing it, she dropped the amulet to the ground as if it were poison.
As she watched it fall to the ground, she briefly wondered if Rin was watching her somewhere from above. She briefly wondered if the kind girl regretted saving her so long ago, only to see what she had become.
Anomie quickly picked the cloth amulet up and clutched it to her chest as her knees pressed against the grass. Guilt was always something she lived with, but the emotion that created a hurricane in her chest was shame.
It destroyed her insides until she wondered if this kind of emotion was capable of tearing out her guts onto the forest floor.
She slowly tucked the amulet into her robes and stared ahead of her into the dead of night that had begun to fall into her shoulders.
If this was hell, then she simply wanted no part of this sort of torment.
She thought of Naruto with a brief flicker of pity and she once again was forced to remember his eyes sparkling with tears as he was forced into a situation that remained far from his fault. She remembered the guilt as she thought about Sakura, such a sweet child whose life force Anomie had nearly taken.
If she had pushed the girl's body only a fraction longer, it was likely she would never wake up again.
Anomie promised herself that she would carry that guilt on her shoulders, stacked heavily, for the rest of her shortened life. She had little to offer in repentance, so she promised herself to make it hurt.
For the pain she has caused to the people she loved...she wanted her decent into hell to hurt.
She wanted it to burn into her bones until the moment she closes her eyes. She needed it to hurt.
That was the only way she could ever forgive herself.
Author's Note
椿 Tsubaki. Camilia (yellow). It means in Japanese, longing in love.
Tsukasa Izana is a character from my other story House of Cards. There will be one more story that will connect to this trilogy. Mostly because Anomie has caused a ripple effect on the Naruto universe (Example being Sakura is being booted out of the ninja world)
But don't worry. I have big plans for Sakura (perhaps not in this story) but I love that pink haired chick, so her story isn't done quite yet. She will be more featured in the Sand Castles in the Rain story coming up.
This story is Kakashi time line
House of Cards is Itachi/Shisui timeline
Sandcastles is Naruto time line.
Anyway, this was depressing to write cause Kakashi, man...his life sucks. I can't even bring along team seven to save the day because it's too fucking early. Like bro. He's gonna be miserable until they are all of age and such. Anomie has fucked him up bad too, and she's even messed with his future team.
I just realized that. Oops.
Thanks for reading guys.
