I do not own 'The Hunger Games' or anything related.
I went to join the others in the infirmary. Apparently, the moment the door to the hovercraft closed Peeta collapsed. The doctors were still busy at work on him. I knew he would be ok. I was much closer to death than he was when my games were over and the doctors were able to patch me up. Even though I didn't think I would make it. As I was collected and worked on, I wondered if it was too late for me, and I smiled at the idea of them losing a victor. Wouldn't that be catastrophic for the gamemakers!
The next thing I knew, I was staring at the ceiling.
I'm alive?
I'M ALIVE!
Sitting up, I found myself in a hospital bed. At once I checked my stomach, to find that it was perfectly healed. I could still remember blood pouring and feeling my intestines, but now I couldn't even find a scar. Taking in my surroundings, I saw that Raybearta was asleep in a chair next to me, a bottle of liquor in her hand. Had she been at my side this whole time? I wondered if I should wake her when she suddenly snorted and woke up with a start. Looking around, as if unsure where she was, she then saw me. She seemed surprised that I was awake but that expression quickly vanished.
"Oh. You survived."
I frowned.
"Yeah. No thanks to you."
Even though I was touched that she remained at my side when the doctors were working on me, nonetheless I was still angry that she hadn't sent me anything during my games. She seemed a little stunned when I said that. Suddenly I remembered something. I checked for Maysilee's mockingjay pin, but it wasn't there. I checked my shirt but it wasn't there.
"Looking for this?"
Raybearta tossed me the pin. She later walked out.
"I know I wasn't much of a mentor during your games, but we'll be seeing quite a lot of each other from now on."
"I don't want anything from you!" I snapped.
She turned to look at me.
"I don't think you'll have a choice in the matter."
And she walked out. I didn't realise it at the time, but Ray knew the consequences of what I had done, and knew that I would need her afterwards.
Apparently Katniss went wild, banging on the glass wall where Peeta was being kept behind, trying to attack the doctors as if they were going to harm him. All I could think was good, because that should back up the plan I had, but in the end Effie told me they had to sedate her. Peeta would make it, although he would end up losing his leg, but he would get a prosthetic replacement. Well, better that his life was saved than a leg. So they kept watch on the two, tending to them, feeding them, injecting morphling in them so that they could rest, each asking about the other, if they were all right, and in Peeta's case, alive. While they were rebuilding Katniss, one of the doctors mentioned that the gamemakers wanted to enlarge her breasts, to make her appear more of a worthy female victor.
"Absolutely not!" I shouted at him, not wanting her body to be altered that way, but the doctor stammered, saying that this was what the gamemakers wanted.
"YOU ARE NOT ENLARGING HER BREASTS!"
And that was the end of it.
To pull off my plan, I needed an ally. Cinna had proven that he was trustworthy, and wanted no harm to come to her, so he set to work on a dress to make her look as young and innocent as possible. Because the only way that they could be spared was to convince the Capitol that they were just innocent children who did what they did out of love, not defiance. Mind you, he had to add some padding to the breast area since I wouldn't let the doctors alter her.
When Katniss was well enough to leave her room, me, Effie and Cinna heard her call out for Peeta. Effie called back to her. To my surprise, it was my arms she flung herself into.
"Nice job, sweetheart," I whispered to her, and I meant it.
She asked if Peeta was alive, and I assured her he was, only they wanted to do their reunion live.
"Go with Cinna," I told her.
I wanted to tell her about the trouble she was in, what she needed to do, but that could wait.
Before she went on stage, I needed to tell her. I touched her shoulder, and she sprung away as if I was an enemy. Yes, I could tell that the games have already changed her.
"It's just me," I told her, "Let me take a look at you."
Yes. She looked the part.
"Good."
"But what?"
I looked around, making sure that no one was about.
"Nothing," I said, "How about a hug for luck?"
Katniss was hesitant, like she knew that me asking for a hug was an odd thing for me to do, but nevertheless she accepted. And when we hugged, I held her so tightly sthat she was close enough, and I told her what trouble she was in and what she needed to do.
"Have you told Peeta this?" She asked.
"No need. He's already there."
"But you don't think I am?"
"Since when do you care what I think?"
And then I kissed her on the forehead. Hmmm. Perhaps that was too affectionate. Hopefully she would just put it off afterwards as me being drunk.
When the two met on stage, she flung herself in his arms. When they sat down on the couch, they were so close that she was virtually on her lap. I gave her a look to tell her that they needed more, so she kicked off her sandals, placed her feet on the couch and leaned into his side.
When replaying the highlights of the games, they always try to tell a story. For Katniss and Peeta, unsurprisingly, it was a love story. Mine was an underdog story. I watched when we were first selected, then the chariot rides, and then the interviews for the first half hour before the games were featured. First the blood bath, then deaths of tributes alternating with my journey. I remember seeing Maysilee take down the couple of the tributes during the first couple of days. I watched myself fighting the three careers, killing two and being saved by Maysilee from the third. I was able to see what I couldn't before, like the moment when the 5 tricked us into thinking he was helpless, but when my back was turned his face suddenly turned and he took out his dagger, and moved to stab me, only to be noticed by Maysilee in time. I looked wild as I lost it with her, although I noticed that they edited out the part where I criticised the killing of a child, and only focused on just how Maysilee did it. Yes, couldn't have anyone criticising the Hunger Games, right? Fighting the 9, being chased by the deer mutts, falling into the water, saving Maysilee when I thought she needed saving, pretended to have been stabbed and bleeding out to draw out the tribute, while Maysilee held on to my apparently soon to be lifeless body, and I could see her expression now, and I could see that what was supposed to be an act, it had just dawned on her the idea of me dying, leaving her all alone in the arena, but that was soon followed by the 10 attacking her, and me springing to life, getting his attention before disarming him and kicking him into the poisonous river. If it wasn't for the fact that I was in actual danger, and that these were actual kids being killed, I would have said that I looked awesome in these fights, but I couldn't say the same when we fought the 2, the way I jumped on his back and furiously stabbed him in the neck like I was some kind of animal, before seemingly callously slitting his throat. I could also see Maysilee's expression after I shouted at her. I seemed such a jerk when she sympathised for what my home life must be like with little food, only for me to lose it at her. Now I could see her red, tearful face, wiping away the tears, but I could also see my face soften, instantly regretting my outburst, and stretching out my hand before thinking better of it, and hiding in the sleeping bag. Then afterwards when she died and I let out screams of grief out of the arena, I was glad that my face was covered. Then something strange happened. There was a weird edit to how the 1 died. The camera zoomed in on her throwing her axe, before the next moment suddenly having it buried in her head, and after she collapsed it flashed back to a moment where I was still standing, and that image just froze, as if that's what I was doing after she died. It gave the impression that I had grabbed the axe before burying it myself in her head. I guessed the gamemakers didn't want to show how I got one over them by using something that wasn't intended to be used! After the show had ended, President Coriolanus Snow appeared, and placed the crown of a victor on my head. After doing so, he looked me straight in the eye. I had the impression of a viper about the strike.
"Hmmmm. That fire in your eyes. We've got to do something about that."
Once again, I didn't realise the meaning of what was said at the time.
Later we went to the president's mansion for the banquet, with all the sponsors and capitol officials, and the two never letting go of their hands. It was certainly bigger than my own banquet, but then I didn't have any sponsors. When we return to the training centre, before Katniss and Peeta could have a word with each other, I separated the two. There was a reason for this. You see, the success of the star-crossed lovers wasn't just on Katniss' acting alone, but her genuine feelings, and I needed her genuine feelings on camera to be as strong as possible to convince everyone that she really does love the boy. Because she didn't know about the prosthetic leg, and I intended on keeping that a secret until their interview tomorrow. I even locked their doors just to make certain that they didn't go off and find each other. And so when it came for their final interview, and she broke down after learning about the leg and seeing it for herself, it was perfect. As well as her acting. Although I did panic when Caesar asked her when she realised her feelings for Peeta, and she was at lost for words, though thankfully he helped her by saying it was the moment when she learnt that two tributes could be saved. And when the question came, when she was asked what was going through her head with the berries, her answer was perfect, and I told her so afterwards. At least it went better than mine!
When the day of my final interview with Flickerman came, I was asked all sorts of questions about my experience. I only remember a handful of them, and they were in two categories, one that seemed to revolve around the force field, and another around Maysilee.
"Now Haymitch, I'm sure we're all curious as to what was your strategy this whole time while you were in the arena, why you seemed intent on reaching the end of the arena."
"Oh. Well, like I told Maysilee, I reckoned that the arena couldn't go on forever, and I thought maybe there was something at the end that could be used."
"Even if that thing wasn't meant to be used?"
"Well," I shrugged, "If it wasn't meant to be used then the gamemakers shouldn't have allowed it to be used!"
I only realised two weeks later how I shouldn't have said that. But I was only interested in humiliating the gamemakers. I didn't think that I was humiliating the capitol too.
"Well, it seemed you were able to win on your own regardless of whatever there was out there."
Able to win on my own? What was he talking – oh right, I thought. The gamemakers are trying to cover it up. Although years back, I couldn't help but wonder if perhaps Caesar was trying to help me to, by covering up what I did.
"Now, speaking of Maysilee Donner, I couldn't help but notice that you're wearing her token."
I instinctively went for the token that was pinned on my shirt.
"Can you explain to us why you took it?"
I took me a moment to sort out my thoughts.
"I was afraid of what might happen to it, and I wanted to keep it safe. And I wanted to win for both of us."
"She meant a great deal to you, didn't she?"
I nodded, giving me a moment to speak without sounding so choked up.
"She was my friend."
"More than a friend?" Caesar suggested.
"No," I flatly told him, "I already have a girlfriend. Besides, the arena isn't exactly the best place to pick up dates!"
"Well I'm sure your girlfriend will be pleased to see you back!"
When Katniss and Peeta were being tended to, they collected the mockingjay pin. I offered to return it to Katniss' room. It had been a long time since I held this in my hand, the last piece I had of Maysilee. A part of me didn't want to let it go, before I realised that it wasn't mine anymore, so I placed it back in her room.
As we got closer to home, and Katniss joined us for dinner, and Peeta place his arm around her, the look she had alarmed me. It reminded me of the problem that I had been putting off in my head. What are these kids going to do, when the cameras go off, the reporters leave and they return to reality, when the boy realises that the girl was deceiving him into how much she loved him, when the girl realises that the boy's feelings were genuine? I could see it now. He would try to embrace her. She would back away, confused. Then, she would cover her mouth, and he would be upset. The train stopped. They walked out. I looked out of the window at them. This was now as good a time as any. I got off the train. The mentor in me told me that this wasn't the right time. That if I expose the lie now, I could jeopardise everything. But I knew that the sooner I burst the fantasy, the better it would be for both of them. Oh no. Now he was giving her flowers! This was going to be more painful than watching him die in the arena. I put my hands on both of them.
"Great job, you two! Remember, keep it up at home for the cameras, and once they're gone we'll be off scotch free!"
I walked away, careful to not to look at Peeta's eyes, unable to look at them, not wanting to see the confusion. I watched the scene. They were talking, and even though I couldn't hear the conversation, I understood what was being said. The boy backed away. The girl appeared to be stammering, and I knew truth had been revealed. They continued talking. Then they just stared at each other. The boy, clearly hurt, walked away, while the girl watched him leave. I notice that she was clutching onto her flowers tightly. As the boy approached the train, I wanted to say something, but I didn't know what to say. When he re-entered the carriage, I got up. His eyes were already wet.
"Peeta-" I started to say, but the boy just shrugged me off, and I don't blame him.
He walked into his compartment and he slammed the door. We didn't see him until the next day. I could tell that the girl was clearly distressed at his absence. Perhaps she really did have romantic feelings for him after all. For a moment, I thought I saw my younger self strut through the carriage, fresh from his games, young, cocky looking, shaken by what had happened to him, but looking forward to the future, couldn't wait to embrace his family, to kiss Rachelle. And I wanted to call out to him, to warn him what would happened, to tell him to flee the district, to head for the woods, even if you weren't quite good a hunter and forager! But then if I did that, who would be around to save Katniss and Peeta? And that was one of the worst thoughts I had. To choose between the loved ones I had lost and the loved ones I had now. But then it's not like I could actually make the choice, so why bother dwelling on it?
When Peeta eventually came out, it was like he had been hollowed. As they presented themselves to the crowd, with their hands held up high, I had a feeling that neither of them wanted to let go.
I guess I should be feeling guilty, right? I mean, I took this boy's feelings, and used them as a basis for my plan, as I weaved this epic romance around them. I had used this girl to appear loving towards him, a girl who had no idea that she was playing with his real feelings. And now...
I thought back to every decision I ever made. And you know what? If I had to do it all over again, knowing what I know now, I wouldn't change a thing. Because the district needed a victor. I needed a victor. Because Ray was right. There needed to be a mentor, someone to help a tribute survive, to carry on this sorrowful job! Because I was sick of all our tributes that had died, even more so when I had come to know them. I needed to save them, and I was convinced that everything I did gave them their best chance. Because the most important reason, in spite of everything else, was that I simply did not want either of them to die. Not Katniss, daughter of my best friend and brother, who shared mine and Ray's fire. Nor Peeta, good, kind, selfless, funny Peeta, who knew what it was like to be abused. Everything I did, I did to keep them alive. First either of them, then Katniss, and then finally both of them.
After all, couple of lives are worth more than a couple of broken hearts, right?
Right?
