48

"First mission I've ever failed and they treat it like the end of the world," Anomie said with a bitter smile as she glanced towards the exit of the base. She rolled her eyes, already exhausted from Konan's long scolding about the importance of the ring that Anomie failed to retrieve.

Anomie didn't particularly care either way, especially since she was mostly interested in hiding the giant bags under her eyes from the long hours of crying before she finally met up with Kisame at the front of the Akatsuki base to the west.

Her stomach wound still throbbed as it slightly opened due to excessive sobbing and her own incompetence when it came down to using healing techniques. Perhaps that was why she barely felt the hostile Chakra until it swept down on her form in the makings of a red, multibladed scythe. She turned into smoke and reformed behind Hidan who twisted his body around, dislodging his scythe from the stone bench she had been resting. His expression was rather maniac, contrasting her blank expression as she tilted her head to the side.

"Greetings in the Akatsuki are shit," Anomie commented, feeling her bandages begin to soak with blood when she dodged his next attack.

"Just looking at your face makes my blood burn. Jashin requires your death," Hidan told her and she grabbed the pole part of his scythe, pushing her hand against his chest and summoning the blade by sending a precise bolt of Chakra into the seal on her palm. A katana shot out and pierced his chest, going clean through.

"I hear you don't die," Anomie said, leaning forward and shoving him back with a kick to his legs. She positioned her knees against his arms so he was trapped while she sat on his chest. "So does that mean I can be as rough as I want?"

She gave him a sultry smile, the seals in her legs activating and causing blades to shoot out in her designated directions, skewering his body before she stabbed a smaller blade into his head. He continued to grin as she did, as if it were the most exciting thing to ever happen to him.

"We didn't come here to have petty fights, Hidan," came the voice of Kakuzu. Anomie dared not turn her head from Hidan, lest she be killed, but she was also hesitant to have Kakuzu stand behind her.

She jumped off, spinning on her heel so she could face them both. "Always know how to make a gory entrance."

Hidan let out a bark of laughter as he began to pull out the blades that pierced his body as if they were as small as splinters. "That seriously hurt. What did you coat that with? My body is slightly numb."

"Poison. It doesn't quite work on beasts though," Anomie told him with a sigh.

"I'm going to drench my scythe in your blood, not far Jashin, but for me," he told her, smirking slightly. Anomie's expression was tight, barely containing her exhaustion and pure annoyance at the constant rain of bad luck in her life. Mostly, she just wanted to be left alone.

"No offense or anything, but can you shut the fuck up?" Anomie crossed her arms over her chest, leaning on her hip as Hidan pulled out the last blade from his gut before he stood up and dropped it at her feet. "I feel bad for your god considering he has to hear you whine like a big bitch all day."

"I'm going to grill both your kidneys on a hibachi," Hidan said, taking as threatening step forward while Kakuzu let out an exasperated sigh.

"At this point, death would be a reprieve. I love a bit of violence as much as the next sociopath, but you need to seriously chill out and suck Kakuzu's dick like a good little masochistic, bottom." Anomie stayed and Hidan grinned, taking a step forward with his scythe, however that was interrupted by Tobi's happy tone of voice, sparing a bit of life back into the room.

"Let's all try to get along. The Akatsuki is a family," Tobi said, and Anomie didn't dare look away from Hidan in fear he would strike.

"Disgusting," Kakuzu muttered, sending the two killers an uninterested glance as he waited for one to inevitably kill the other.

"Jashin is begging for her blood," Hidan reminded Tobi with a smile, reminding Anomie of the many times Hidan had attempted to kill her in the past. He and Kakuzu were the prime reason that the members of the Akatsuki didn't meet up in person.

"One big happy family," Anomie agreed, watching as Tobi ran up in front of her, holding his arms out wide as if he awaited a hug. "What are are you doing?"

"Protecting you of course, senpai," Tobi said, still holding his arms out wide with his back facing her, most likely an attempt to block her but all it really did was piss her off. "Surely you two know that Pein-sama doesn't like inner Akatsuki conflict?"

"I don't give a fuck," Hidan told him, sending Anomie a wry grin. Kakuzu let out a sigh.

"Killing her isn't worth as much money as taking her in alive," Kakuzu stated, and Anomie narrowed her eyes.

"This won't do," Tobi said, wiping a tear from his eye hole more dramatically than she would have liked. "The family is breaking."

"All of you can go fuck yourselves," Anomie turned to walk away, keeping her senses active in case someone went to attack her blind spot. "Especially you, you overly religious piece of literal shit."

"See you next time. Make sure to keep up your iron levels and conserve all that blood," Hidan warned her.

"How about instead," Anomie stated, turning on her heels so she could face him and meet eye contact. Her sultry smile was back up, despite the absolute mess in her head. "You meet up with me later in a dark alley. Kiss me or kill me. I'll give you a show."

Anomie blew a kiss and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Kakuzu in the meantime sent Hidan a rather pointed scowl. "Don't tell me the reason we rushed here was for you to put the moves on her."

"My feelings are confusing," Hidan said with a grin as he stroked his scythe. "I want her blood, but I desire other things too."

"You're disgusting," Kakuzu told him, and Hidan grinned.

"Putting Koneko-chan aside, you two can now take up the mission she failed," Tobi interrupted with a happy chirp.

"Is this little runt giving us orders?" Hidan said, his voice deep and dark.

"I believe it is," Kakuzu agreed, taking a rather threatening step forward.

"I'm going to shove my scythe so far up your ass that I might have to strap you to my side and use your body as a holster," Hidan said, and Kakuzu glanced towards him.

"That threat was gay."

"Really?" Hidan slyly tossed a kunai at Kakuzu, it skewered the immortal's arm, but the other didn't so much as flinch when he took it out.

"Now now, no need for violence. Apprehending Orochimaru is of utmost importance. He has so much information on immortality, yet is unchecked," Tobi stated in a sing songy voice that immediately caught the two's attention.

"I suppose it won't be the worst thing to do."

"I wonder where Anomie floated off to," Hidan stared glancing towards the exit and causing Kakuzu to sigh.

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Anomie let the steam envelop her as she slowly dipped into the molten hot water. The burn did not to help the damage of the scar going across her stomach, but she didn't linger on pain since every brush of the burn helped to remember Rin's touch. The hot springs wasn't far from the Akatsuki base, yet another one that correlated with its location and made her think that the two were related. That was a bit weird, but she didn't question it as she let the bits of dried blood wash away from her neck and her hair.

It was probably the most peaceful she had felt in a long time, or it would have been if not for the moment she noticed that droplets had begun to fall into the water. She pressed her long fingers against her cheeks, feeling for the salty moisture that had begun to spring from her eyes.

She still couldn't breathe correctly and her lungs were still attempting to keep itself pumping out oxygen. Her Chakra exhaustion and nearly fatal wound made that difficult, but it was also a reminder that it didn't matter how much power she thought she obtained, one burst of poor timing and bad luck and she would be erased. She was still too weak. She was weaker than Orochimaru and she didn't have the skill for kinjutsu that could properly keep Rin alive.

It hurt more to see Rin and watch her disappear in front of her than it hurt to lose her the first time. Anomie pressed her hands into her face, feeling the redness of her cheeks and the heat of those salty tears run down her face as she attempted to push them back in when she rubbed her face. They, of course, wouldn't stop and she felt her chest tremor with yet another cry. She lost count of how long she cried, but her body was pruning by the time she stood up to get out.

"Oh, An-senpai, there you are," the voice of Tobi filtered through. He came out from trees, his eye hold covered with a gloved hand as she crawled out of the hot spring.

However, she proved that she was in too long as a rush of dizziness and nausea overcame her. She staggered and almost fell, but she caught herself and wrapped her hair in a towel, having no mind for the fact that she was naked.

"You can look if you want," Anomie told him, her throat dry and her eyes raw. She was actually thankful his eye was covered, not because she was naked, but because she would rather no one saw just how red her cheeks were and blood shot her eyes were.

"That would be indecent senpai," Tobi told her and she scoffed.

"If you're here to further the scolding about letting Orochimaru escape, save it. I already know," Anomie said and Tobi giggled.

"Nah, senpai. Instead, we have another mission for you," he told her and she smirked, towel drying her hair and simultaneously activating a seal on her wrist so she was clothed in a loose kimono that showed off a bit too much leg with the slit of material from thigh to toe.

He removed his hand, already sensing that she was finished and walking closer. "Pass."

"You can't pass on a mission, senpai," he told her instead.

"Sure I can. I'm taking a sabbatical," she told him making sure her towel covered her eyes.

"Senpai," Tobi said, wiping away a stray tear from his eye hole. "You're going to get me in trouble."

"That's not my problem," she informed him, giving out a sly smile as she continued drying her hair. She turned her back to him. "Have Kisame do it. He loves missions."

"Blood," Tobi stuttered and she jumped at his loud voice and glanced down at her dress, seeing that the front wasn't swarming with escaping blood. Instead, her stitches on her back where the Chakra scalpel had pierced straight through was beginning to seep through with blood. It effectively ruined her dress. "Orochimaru got you good, An-chan."

"Well," Anomie winced, slipping off her dress from over her shoulders. The obi wrap stopped it from falling further down and it stayed at her waist. The hot water had caused the stitches to dissolve, and it had been so long since she got so wounded so she forgot how poor a choice it was to get them so wet. "Unfortunate."

Tobi poked the wound, making her flinch and glance back at him, having not heard him get so close. "Might wanna get that checked, senpai."

"Wanna give me a hand then?" She tossed a medical box his way and turned around.

"Tobi is too good a boy to not help a damsel in distress," he told her and she chuckled.

"Wow. I think I might just throw up," she said, but flinched when he began to clumsily sterilize the wound.

"You let yourself get this wounded, now I might just have to worry about you," Tobi told her in his happy and sing songy voice, and the more he spoke, the more her ears burned with a sense of familiarity that she couldn't place.

"I might seriously throw up," she told him and slowly found herself smiling. "Doubt he could summon another friend from the grave for me to fight." Anomie chuckled, grabbing a flask of sake from her bag and downing it in a quick sip. "Rin's soul deserved to be in better hands."

She jumped when she felt the needle stick her when Tobi's hands flinched.

"Focus. My body is a masterpiece that I would rather not ruin," Anomie said, and took another sip.

Tobi was uncharacteristically silent, and he finished bandaging her quickly before getting some distance between them. "Well, enjoy your vacation."

She turned towards him, taking another sip of her drink. "Don't miss me too much. I'll be back to pick up a mission soon as I know this won't get infected."

Tobi didn't seem himself when he disappeared into the trees, but she didn't much care as she downed the last of her drink. She laid her heard back against the grass, dipping her legs into the hot spring and closing her eyes to let the blissful evening come to an end. When it did, it all went away.

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In her years under Orochimaru's thumb, she heard rumors of a stone that could control a demon. He had especially began researching it on the day that she had let the first mumble of the Akatsuki's reputation slip his way. It was one of those missions that she had gotten milliseconds from finishing, only to come back empty handed to keep Orochimaru's ever growing power in check.

Now, perhaps it could be leverage that she sorely needed. Also, it was the distraction she craved like a drug. No, she needed it. Something that she sought out herself, without orders or commands from a higher power.

Unfortunately, that stone was just barely out of her reach when she came up upon the keeper of the demon's stone. Not the keeper himself, but rather, his body. It looked horrid, shriveled up but not fresh enough to attract attention from the flies. Anomie knelt down next to it, her lips slightly parting as she inspected the very precise strike of a blast of concentrated energy to his chest. It had pierced straight through to the other side.

She was rather annoyed, all things considered, she had hoped to simply retrieve the stone and that would be the end of it. She was not so lucky, then again, was she ever? Worse than that, if the stone was in the hands of someone who was willing to kill this nonviolent monk, Anomie wasn't quite sure those were the hands that should hold it.

It could have been Orochimaru who stole it, as it was possible that after her betrayal, he sent out ninja to overlook all the missions she failed. After all, it was what she would have done, and they weren't all that different. It was a frustrating thing to have things in common with a murderous sociopath, but she wasn't about to fool herself that they weren't at all similar.

Still, it made her nervous that the world's balance of power, the great tailed demons, were in the hands of such a monster. Perhaps she should have destroyed the stone.

It was too late to worry about it now, and she stood up quickly at the sound of foot steps. However, something white and strong wrapped around her mid section before she could react. It took her a bemused second later to realize that it was hair. White hair. She craned her neck to see who just trapped her. She could have, of course, easily escaped, but she liked the pain it caused to her wound. Every sting reminded her of Rin's touch.

"Well, if it isn't Anomie," Jiraiya's voice rang in her ears. Her lips curled up, turning into smoke and slipping through the hair only to turn corporeal moments later in front of him. She broke all rules of personal space when she smiled up at him. The smile wasn't quite genuine, especially since she was slipping in and out of depression.

"Perverted sage," she greeted, and his frown returned.

"What are you doing here?" Jiraiya asked and she gave him a sultry brush of her fingers over his chest. She felt him freeze from underneath her touch.

"Here to see you," she told him, and his frown returned.

"Cause you standing in front of that dead body seems suspicious," Jiraiya told her. Anomie ran her tongue over her front teeth, her smile disappearing as she took a step back.

"Let me guess, you caught wind of the demon stone and in your mission to be a thorn in the side of the Akatsuki, you decided to go searching for it. In your quest, you discovered that the guardian of that stone was sitting in a pile of blood and shit. So, you stayed here, hoping the killer or a lead past this dead end would arrive." Anomie was finding it difficult to keep full amusement out of her voice. Jiraiya, on the other hand, didn't look too amused to be speaking of the monk's murder.

"And you had nothing to do with this?" Jiraiya asked, causing her to tilt her head, giving the monk a once over. She examined the way he died, finally coming to the conclusion that it wasn't her style.

"Come on sensei, we're on the same side," she told him, watching him frown.

"You hesitated," he accused and she rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest and tilting her weight on one hip.

"I've killed a lot of people, some slip my mind," she told him, as she couldn't remember killing the monk who guarded the stone. However, she did repress the memories of the details in more gory deaths.

"Alright," he said slowly.

"Fine, you don't believe me, look at the trajectory of the blast," she stated, walking over to the body. "The height of a person had to have been at least 190 cm to properly make this cut through flesh at such an angle. I am not 190 cm. Therefore, it couldn't have been me."

"You could have jump attacked," he said and she met his eye contact as the both knelt down next to the body.

"Come on, sensei, I don't even have a Jutsu that could do this," she said, holding out her palms. "Besides, if I did do this, what kind of dumbass would I be to leave a trail. I would have burned the body."

"Okay," he said slowly, and she tilted her head.

"So you believe me?" Anomie asked, and he slightly smiled, rubbing his palm over his face and standing up.

"I don't know if I could ever fully believe you about anything, but I want to trust that your intentions are to protect the Shinobi world," he said and she felt a moment of guilt. After all, she wasn't searching for the stone to protect the bigger picture or to protect Konoha.

She just wanted to give it to Orochimaru in exchange for him showing her how to resurrect the dead. She hated him, but he was the only one who knew how to perform that Jutsu. A part of her knew she should care more about putting the power to control a demon in the hands of a monster, but she spent more time trying to convince herself on what she should and shouldn't do rather than make the choice on how she actually felt.

"What do you want to do with the stone?" Anomie asked, and Jiraiya paused. "Go up against the Akatsuki? That's surprisingly brave."

"You say that like I'm not usually brave," he commented, and she stood up, backing away from the dead body. Slowly, Anomie smiled, reaching out and grabbing a lock of his white hair, running it between her fingers.

He glanced up at her from his knelt down position next to the body. "Are you really flirting with me next to a corpse?"

"Is that such a shock?" Anomie asked, pulling his hair and forcing him to look towards her as she leaned down near his face. "How about we team up and find the stone together?"

"You don't seem like the type who enjoys partnering with someone."

"Well, let's just say I don't like the idea of facing an enemy all on my own this time around," Anomie told him, letting go of his hair and standing up straight. Her fingers brushed against her obi that held the very tiny and much too revealing kimono wrap together. His eyes dilated, watching a bit too intently as the short kimono popped open. His eyes ran over the skimpy black bra and silk panties to match. Anomie's head tilted to the side, her lips set in a sultry smirk. "As you see, I've been gravely wounded."

"What?" Jiraiya, after a couple dazed seconds and a nosebleed, stated as he finally saw the bandage that was wrapped around her stomach.

"I fear I don't have what it takes to fight against an actual enemy," Anomie smiled, running her fingers down between her breasts and to her bandages. Slowly, almost painfully, Jiraiya met her gaze as she closed up her kimono. The act of closing it was actually more sultry than when she opened it.

"Do you have an off switch?" Jiraiya asked, trying to discreetly wipe away the blood under his nose as he stood up and got some distance from the body. Anomie followed.

"Yeah, you would like where it's located," Anomie told him, walking past him, out into the slowly disappearing sunlight. "So what do you say? Join forces with me?"

"Look me in the the eyes and tell me what you want the stone for," Jiraiya asked and Anomie met his chilly stare. Anomie never did like lying before, and she much preferred getting her way by manipulating the truth.

Anomie was silent for a long moment, just making that eye contact. She was certain he wouldn't be able to read her no matter what she said. He must have known that too when he looked into her vacant expression. "I don't want the Akatsuki to get it first."

That was true. She didn't want it in the hands of the Akatsuki. She wanted it in the hands of someone just as bad. Not for long of course. Then she wanted him dead, but only once she was certain he could never touch Rin's soul again.

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Anomie was looking at the bottom of the bottle for a good couple minutes, savoring the numbness that filled her chest. Around and round her head spun, spinning and addicted to the small amount of relief that the strong scent of rum gave her. She had never taken to heavy drinking much before in the past, but if she was going to be around Jiraiya or anyone for that matter, she needed something to keep her numb.

"I didn't take you for a drinker," Jiraiya told her as he sat next to her on the stool. The village of Uragei wasn't far from the temple, and it was also not far from Konoha. She was reminded that she was in a land filled with enemies and thieves. Still, she continued to cloud her mind in a haze as she drowned the next bottle sip by sip.

She turned to him, handing him her bottle and offering him a taste. "Don't make me drink alone. Relax a bit."

"Anomie, are you okay?" Jiraiya asked, and her brows furrowed, grabbing his hand and getting a feel for the rush of heat that flowed through her when they touched. She placed the bottle in his grasp.

"I'm always okay," she reminded him, leaning forward and pressing her hand against his firm thigh. It wasn't sexual, but she pretended it was so he wouldn't realize that she was seconds from toppling over. "I'm a survivor."

"Well, I'm not one to refuse a free drink," he said, taking a sip as one eye darted to her hand that remained on his thigh.

"Jiraiya," she murmured, pressing her cheek against her palm. She was probably drunk at this point, but she trusted him enough to let go just a little bit. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Depends on the favor," he admitted and she slightly smiled.

His eyes burned a hole in her hand when she pressed her hand against the table. Her body was acting on its own, and it needed something to touch. In the midst of depression and a lingering resentment and burning hatred sparked a small flame of desire for human contact. "Can you embrace me? For only a moment."

Jiraiya's eyes widened, his lips flapping open and closed as he nearly dropped the bottle. She waited for his consent with a patient stare. It wasn't hard to see he wanted her, after all, she worked hard to maintain a good appearance. It was easy for her to keep up that outer facade, but she was all rotten on the inside. That was harder to fix.

"Are you joking?" Jiraiya asked and her lips slightly quirked, slowly, she squeezed his knee as she leaned forward, careful not to fall over.

"Am I?" Anomie said in a rather teasing tone of voice that didn't touch the emptiness of her gaze. "Ah. Are you afraid you can't control yourself? Am I that pretty?"

"I have more than enough self control. I am a sage. A Sennin." he defended himself. Anomie raised her brow, wondering just what sage mode even looked like. Senjutsu wasn't easy, but it was a goal in itself that she longed to reach. Her curse mark was an incomplete and less powerful form that made sensing and gathering nature Chakra more difficult. If she could reach sage mode without the help of Orochimaru's curse, perhaps then she could be strong enough to kill him.

"Do you?" Anomie whispered, her eyes narrowed, showing off the long lashes when she reached forward and hovered her lips against his. Her fingers danced around the back of his neck as she felt him freeze from underneath her. A couple people had glanced over to see them, but things much more graphic often happened in Uragei, so one almost kiss didn't mean much. It was also late evening, so many were still asleep.

His fingers gripped onto her waist for a moment, causing her to smile.

"Look at that," Anomie murmured, leaning closer. "Was that some chemistry that I felt? Careful, I'm going to assume you like me."

Jiraiya pulled away, taking a gulp of the whisky as she smiled, going back to leaning her cheek against her palm. "Where's your lead to the stone?"

"Fifteen minutes away, drinking his way into oblivion," Anomie told him, and her eyes connected with his, proving that her body was too close to his. Jiraiya did manage to surprise her in that he spent so long lusting that the moment she was basically offering her body to him, he balked. She didn't fully know why she was doing this, and perhaps it was because she needed some type of physical contact after so long in the isolation that was the path she walked down.

Also, she liked him. Despite his lustful persona, he always made sure to be respectful towards her body. He never touched her inappropriately and he always kept a safe distance. He was clever and strong. His presence didn't ignite her skin like Kakashi or make her elated like Rin, but who could compare to a first love?

"Lets go. I think you have had enough," Jiraiya told her, glancing towards the liqueur bottle near her arm. Her lips quirked up, keeping up all signs of good will as he offered her his hand. She glanced it for a long moment before placing her palm into his.

When she looked into his eyes, however, she realized that she desperately and absolutely longed for Kakashi.

Author's Note

I've been having a hard time lately, so I'm probably going to be gone for a little bit of time from writing. I already had so much of this written, so tried to finish the last of it. I'm sorry if it isn't very good. It's weird, you think this would be the time I could relate to Anomie, but it's actually really hard since she has these strong feelings for Kakashi and I am currently unable to be able to properly depict it since the very thought of someone touching me is just disgusting.

Oh this author's note just got real!

Jiraiya and Anomie have what I'd have once considered a bit mentor student, not quite father daughter (cause gross). Anomie doesn't have any experience with good father figures anyway. Especially since it was hinted that Tamaki Dairo had a very close relationship before he betrayed her, killed her mother, and raped her. Most of what happened between them after all that is probably never going to go into writing.

This chapter is titled after the Zinnia flower. Hyakunichisō (百日草). It is said that zinnias symbolize thoughts of absent friends.

Thank you for reading! ^-^