51

Fingers ran up her arm as she stared into his eyes, her lips curled up as she watched his cheeks enflame as she raised a single brow. The small things, such as his nervous breaths and her rather bored sigh, was drowned out with the noise of the crowd. She grabbed the key from his fingers with her nimble fingers, her eyes narrowed in amusement as he leaned in for a kiss. She turned her cheek and allowing his lips to smack onto her cheek as she said some words to further her goals.

It was all muscle memory at this point, as most of the time she barely remembered what words she said to men since they were all a means to an end in getting what she wanted. This time, she wanted a room, a high class room of course since that level of comfort was just the way she was used to being treated. She would prefer this method rather than using what budget of money that she and Kakashi shared.

By the time she was escorted by the desperate boy, she pressed her lips against his nose in a quick sign of thanks before she entered the room. Kakashi was already sitting on the window seal with a bored glance her way.

"Nice right?" Anomie smiled, walking to the mini bar in the corner of the hotel room. She took out some water, already downing it in her dehydration. "I figured we might as well attempt to enjoy this in style."

Kakashi was still silent, turning pages in her book, not meeting her gaze. Her brow rose in response, finding a slight tension rise in the room that caused her brows to furrow.

"What's with the silence?" Anomie leaned her weight on one hip, but the action made her wince as that exact habit of movement caused her abdomen to move at the exact position that stung the most.

Kakashi was in front of her in moments, and she didn't fight him as she untied her obi and dropped the kimono off her shoulders. He met her gaze for a split moment as he attempted not to let his eyes wander anywhere but the bandages that were soaked once more with blood. "How is it that it won't stay closed?"

Anomie was silent for a moment before she sighed, "it was the Jutsu that was used to do it. Orochimaru had a thing for development of poisons. I recognize this one. It was used for torture, making wounds take longer to heal despite aid of medical Jutsu."

Kakashi met her gaze with a frown. "Do you have to always leave out details?"

"I didn't think it would be relevant to the situation at hand. It will pass through my system on its own, there's nothing else to be done," she told him, as he unwound the bandages around her abdomen. She could tell something was bothering him, but they weren't close enough for her to know or ask. Perhaps it was just to hard to be around one another.

He rewrapped her wounds once more, his fingers lingering against her skin before he backed away and then placed his palm against his one visible eye. His action made her slightly smile as he gave her appropriate privacy to place back on her kimono. She cleared her throat when she finished, smiling his way when their gazes connected once more.

"We should be safe here," Anomie said, hiding her smile behind a look of indifference.

"Perhaps you should consider a hair cut or a dye, that way this time no one could recognize you," he suggested in return, causing Anomie's lips to curve into a frown as her brow raised in bemusement. She ran her fingers over her hair as if the thought of cutting it had physically repulsed her.

"I can't do that," she replied, showing a rather humorous expression of disgust.

"One of these days you will choose practicality over beauty," he told her with a shake of his head. Finally he walked over to where a bag was resting in the corner of the room and she watched as he pulled out a bag of what looked like take out. "While you were flirting, I had a shadow clone pick this up. You need to eat."

Anomie raised her brow, finally taking in the tone he presented her with, causing her take a step forward when she realized it was jealousy. It would be tacky to point it out, so instead her gaze wandered to the food. "I'm not hungry."

"You're practically skin and bones. When was the last time you ate."

She didn't answer. She always had a problem with hunger, since she spent most of her childhood hungry. Eventually, she just learned to live with it. This was not the best attribute because it meant hunger did not bother her as much as many others.

However, she took a step forward, not wanting to turn away the gift he presented for her. Instead she grabbed it, feeling the warmth of the take out box from where her hands rested against it. She glanced back up at him, not hiding her smile.

"Only if you join me," she offered, but was met with his blank expression. Slowly, he noticed that she meant it. Many people gave empty threats, but Anomie was too petty for such a thing.

It wasn't long into the meal where he felt his eyes drawn to hers, seeing the way she ignored all the meat so she could go right for the vegetables. It wasn't what she needed, so he swiftly ate them all, having enough time considering she spent a ridiculously long amount of time chewing. By the time she went to grab one, she saw they were all gone. She met his gaze with a scowl, but when she saw his deadpan, she used her chopsticks to grab some chicken with a frown.

"Rude," she said after chewing, around a eighty seconds later. "So what's the plan? We have to pass through some pretty hostile territory in the Earth territory."

"You're sure about the volcanoes there? They aren't gonna activate the moment we get there."

"Fire doesn't hurt me."

"Lucky you."

They made eye connect again when she realized he was being rather condescending. She leaned forward and grabbed the side of his face and pulling it out. It was a reason just to touch him and to punish him. He didn't look to be expecting it, causing his eyes to slightly widen as he glanced her way. With his mask down, she let the image of his face rupture her mind.

"Just think optimistically," she told him, and went from pulling his cheek to resting her palm flat against it. She made it obvious, in that moment, where the mood had turned when she met his eyes. She quickly removed her hand and stood up.

"You're not done," he said, referring to the food she hadn't finished.

"I'm full," she said, but it came out as a complaint when Kakashi pulled her arm so she was forced into the seat right next to him. She sighed, and overstuffed herself with the rest just to finish it.

"You grew accustomed to how much you've been eating, so you have to eat more, even if you don't feel up for it." His light hearted scolding made her slightly smile, resting her elbow against the table and meeting his gaze.

"I like it when you worry," she said, mostly because she didn't really have anybody who worried after her so much. She glanced over to him, and for good measure, ate the rest. When she was done, she stood up and ran the back of her hand over his face in an affectionate gesture before she went to pack up her stuff. She didn't get far when he grabbed her arm and stood up, running the backs of his fingers over her neck now that it was visible.

She felt a shiver go up her spine and a shock of pain as that area of skin was still sensitive from the place she nearly got her throat slit by 'Rin'. He glanced over the burn mark in the shape of a feather. It rested there, reminding her of a branding.

"It's hideous I know," she said, attempting to leave his grasp. However, he didn't look too concerned about the way it looks, but it was hard to tell considering his brows were gathered together.

"What happened here?" Kakashi's question was met with silence for a moment. She just wanted to savor their close proximity for a little while long. She wanted to pretend that this was something else, more intimate and real.

"It's okay, just a scrape. I cauterized it."

"If it was just a scrape you wouldn't have had to."

She could tell now that he was genuinely concerned, and she felt her chest grow warm. Despite that, she didn't act on it for the simple reason that in the beginning he told her not to, she couldn't betray such a thing. Also, she liked just looking into his eyes and hearing his voice. The physical portion of a relationship cheapened what she could enjoy anyway. Then again, likely these were all excuses because she couldn't really have him as she wanted. That was a simple fact that they lived in different worlds.

She cleared her throat and took a step back, feeling cold without his touch. "Imma take a bath." She entered the bathroom, already beginning to fill up the tub. She waited there, tapping her foot after she stripped down and placed the silky robe over her shoulders. Her lips curled into a smile as she popped her head back out the door, glancing at Kakashi who had taken back to reading his book on the open window seal. "Unless you did want to join me?"

"Nah. You need it more than I do," he answered her, savoring the way her mouth opened in offended surprise.

She tossed a shampoo bottle at his head, which he promptly caught with a single hand, barely glancing up from his book. She crossed her arms, leaning on one hip. "You can give it back now."

He met her gaze, and this time his eyes traced her body with a once over. "No. I think I'll keep it."

"I need it. Don't be a little bitch," she told him.

"Try being nice and saying please."

"Kakashi."

"I know, that must be hard for you."

"Kakashi..."

"Try apologizing while your at it too." Kakashi was thankful his mask hid his smile when he rolled his eye and stood up, placing his book closed on the window seal behind him. He held the shampoo bottle over her head when he walked over to her, just barely over the threshold of the bathroom.

"Give it back." Anomie wasn't used to being teased quite like this, and it caught her off guard, causing her to forget all her abilities and she jumped up with no hope since he was taller than her and she couldn't reach it.

"Apologize." Kakashi raised a brow, not seeing why such a thing was so difficult before remembering that Anomie was a difficult person. She proved this when she gave him a snarky smile and walked towards the faucet of the tub, pulling on it and it stretched to reveal a hose. "What are you doing?"

He got his answer when she sprayed him with water. "I suppose you want me to apologize for that too?"

Kakashi took a step forward, his eye narrowed. She let out a slight squeak when he came closer, causing her to trip. This was something rather uncharacteristic of her, so it surprised her, but instinct made him attempt to grab her before she hurt herself. However, the floor was covered with water from her petty antics, so he slipped too, causing them to fall into the tub. He hit his head on the side, but he controlled his movements so she wouldn't be too hurt since she was still healing.

The water was nearly boiling hot and they were intertwined, intermingled, and submerged in the water. When they both came up, they were breathing hard, water dripping off each of their faces with his clothes soaked into his body and her silk robe wide open, revealing enough for Kakashi to know not to look away from her eyes. This was a problem because he was looking so intently into those wide irises, allowing him to see that beautiful hue of pink and many other shades he couldn't quite place, all making up that brilliant amber. He saw it all, from the water dripping from her sharp cheekbones and down to her brilliant pink lips, moist and perfect. Even her damp hair was as beautiful as ever.

And of course, he felt her. He felt every inch of her body against his and barely heard himself breathe anymore. He just knew he was breathing hard, and he could feel her breath matched his. Her lids were nearly closed, just staring at his lips that were so close to his—and where the fuck had my mask gone—and he noticed there was no barrier. There was nothing stopping this from happening.

She closed the distance at the same time as him, her lips trembling with heat when their mouths connected. It was a fever, a passion she felt spread everywhere. She wanted to kiss him forever. She blocked out all thought about what this was, what it might mean, what further mess she might create for herself and she kissed him until all reason seeped from their pores and they became only the moment. Moments were so fleeting, and they savored it. They were a pulse, a consciousness only of what they wanted to do to the other and they were suddenly crashing against each other, all hands and lips. His fingers dug into her wet hair, and her right leg was trapped in between his knees. His hand held up her neck, pulling her closer as if she wasn't close enough.

His hands were tangled in her hair and her shaking fingers were still trying to lift his wet shirt over his head. She broke apart from his lips with a laugh as the material clung to him like skin, only to realize she hadn't taken off his vest first. Before long they were both laughing, their foreheads resting against one another.

"This thing with you," he muttered, and she closed her eyes just to hear his voice. "For me, it's forever." She felt his words lodge itself down her throat, stuck and forcing her eyes to open.

"I'm going to disappoint you," she promised.

"I know."

"You could do so much better."

"Probably," he agreed, opening his eyes with a smile.

"Mood killer," she whispered.

"I love you," he said it so earnestly, with all his being.

"God you're so stupid," she whispered, pulling him forward and pressing her lips against his, and it all felt too right. This time, she removed his vest, the both of them glancing towards her fingers as she undid the buttons. He tossed his vest away, the both of them hearing it plop against the tiles. She slightly smiled, her actions so clumsy and she couldn't quite figure out why since this was her area of expertise.

When she glanced down at the water again, she realized exactly why.

It was beet red, and just looking at it made her feel dizzy. Kakashi noticed it too, and kicked his leg to knock out the cork to drain the bath. "Anomie? Stay awake. Shit."

She pulled him against her lips, light this time. "We're both so stupid."

He slightly smiled. "The stupidest." He had to agree, because they both told themselves that each kiss didn't have to mean anything when it so obviously meant everything.

He scooped her up in his arms and placed her on the bed, taking off her bandages and seeing the infection had persisted. He pressed the back of his hand against her forehead, the heat of it surprising him and causing him to jerk his hand back. She was in and out of consciousness, and knew it was better if she slept.

His Sharingan was always ready and when her disorganized gaze met his, she shook her head. "No, I want to stay awake."

"Luckily it's not up to you," he whispered, pressing his lips against her forehead and running them over to her hair. "God if you knew the things I wanted to do to you."

Then he put her to sleep so she wouldn't have to feel the pain of him redressing and restitching her back up again.

When she awoke, only a couple hours later, the sun had already set and her body was draped in the silk sheets. They were too constricting and hot, so she kicked them off, only realize that her body was restricted in warm arms, wrapped loosely around her stomach. She traced up his hand, running it up his arm until she rested it against his neck. She softly pressed her lips against his, feeling the tingling right down to her toes. It was a sensation she was terrified to get used to, mostly because she doubted she could feel this way about anyone anymore.

She had only ever been head over heels for one other person, and that had been Rin. There were nights when she nearly gave in and told that girl how she felt. She always stopped herself for the simple reason that some people were wired differently, and by no fault of her own, Rin was incapable of returning that affection that drove Anomie mad. It was a sweet love that overtook Anomie's heart, but she had always been in control. She always managed to control her desires.

For Kakashi, it was different. It was a ravenous love, a hungry lust, and she felt her body melt every time he touched her. There was no controlling that. He set her aflame, and those sparks in her life that she thought would be dark forever reignited.

For her, this was forever. Forever and ever and ever.

He opened his eyes and she felt it pang through her chest again. "Hi."

Kakashi doubted anyone could say such a simple word in such a way that made his muscles relax and his heart clench. He reached forward and stroked his fingers down her cheek, down her neck, in between her breasts, before finally resting his palm against the side of her small waist, pulling her closer and nuzzling his face into her neck.

"I asked you not to sedate me."

"Luckily," he whispered, wondering how she always managed to smell so good. "I have a mind of my own and don't always do what you tell me to do."

"Kakashi?" Anomie whispered back after a couple moments of silence. He turned his head to the side, his legs still tangled with hers, and for her, it was knot, too complicated to approach. "After all this...then what?"

He leaned up, resting his weight on his elbows. "I have no idea. I can see my whole life ahead of me, but you're always there. It's irrational and you make me a mess, and sometimes I know I hate you."

Her lips spread out into a small smile. "I hate me too."

"I love you Anomie," he told her, he assured her, but it didn't comfort her when she saw the look in his eyes. "But I need honesty. Your honesty. I've never lied to you, and I don't want you to lie to me."

Anomie blinked, but she shouldn't have been so surprised by his reply. "I have never really lied to you."

"Is that so?" He raised a brow, tilting he head to the side.

"I leave details out, but I have always tried to be honest with you."

"Is that right?" Kakashi slightly smiled. "Did anything ever happen between you and Genma?"

"Who?"

"Really?"

"Describe him."

"Flirty, arrogant, had a huge crush on you."

"Right. Him. Yeah. Purely missionary," she answered with a slight smile. "You're a better kisser. I think he was too nervous for my liking."

"What about anyone else I know?" Kakashi asked and she raised a brow.

"Come on, you don't actually want to know about that. Ask what you really want to ask," she said with a roll of her eyes.

"I do actually want to know, so long as the list isn't too long." Kakashi rested his head into the crook of her neck once more.

"You afraid of the competition? I thought you were good at everything."

"Shut up."

"Ask me what you want to know. I won't lie."

"Why the Uchiha clan? Why do that? It brought you nothing."

He felt her chest rising and falling steady from underneath him. She took too long to answer, causing him to grow unsure of whatever it was that awaited him when she finally told him.

"I just followed orders," Anomie finally admitted, tilting her head to the side.

"Whose orders?"

She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. "Does it matter?" Anomie pressed his face in between her palms. "Are you asking because you need to know? Or, are you asking because you want to make excuses for me? Kakashi, I could have been told to do this by the very gods themselves, but honestly a part of me enjoyed it. It likes it."

"It doesn't have to be like that," he hissed, pressing his hand against the back of her neck to touch her and to show a semblance of how crazy she was making him. "Let's leave this all behind. You and me. We can pick a country you like. I don't care so long as you're there with me."

It was a lovely dream. It was one that was a bit too tantalizing, too tempting, and offered freely. "I'd choose you any day." She loved the way his body molded into her, how their hands just fit like puzzle pieces, how their lips were so in sync. She loved everything about him. She was a difficult puzzle to match with, and she had attempted to force her way to complete a picture. All that really did was cause her to lose parts of herself in the process.

She needed him. She wanted him. He was flowing through her veins, pumping past adrenaline and all the words she could dared never say because she feared saying it would cement it and make it too real.

"But that day is not today," she whispered, just up against his lips. "You don't understand just how insidious things are in the shadows. On the day that the Shinobi world isn't in such danger, I will tell you everything,"

"It feels so far away," he muttered, and they leaned against one another, just absorbing one another's delectable aura.

Anomie was too selfish and she lied. It was convincing enough to even fool herself. She wanted to believe she'd choose him over everything, but even she knew that there were some deeply embedded desires she couldn't quit. She wasn't wrong. He truly could and should, love another. She would hurt him a thousand times before they could escape to that cottage dream on a far away coast. Until that, though, she would pretend that she was just a girl in love with a boy.

"Let's just take it ten seconds at a time," she told him, curling into his side. "So, what things were you talking about doing to me?"

He wrapped his arms around her body, hugging her closer to his side. It was all so peaceful and warm. "Just go back to sleep."

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"Wow," Anomie said, dodging the Jutsu sent her way. The blast of fire sent a pink heat to cloud over her skin. She recognized the flames of Orochimaru's lackey, but it helped that they were so obviously from the hidden village in the sound. "It's like he's not even trying anymore."

"Anomie, don't mock the enemy," Kakashi replies, sending the girl a glance.

"Why?"

"It's tacky."

"Ah, you're probably right," she commented, sending the man a sympathetic wince when he crashed into the ground after Kakashi sent a well timed strike towards his chest.

She jumped down next to the lackey, already taking a katana out of her palm from the seal. Kakashi, however, quickly intervened with a glare. "What are you doing?"

"No survivors," Anomie replied, as if she were talking about the weather. The silence that passed between them was awkward, and Anomie had to force herself to remember that he wasn't like criminals she dined with on a normal occasion. He had something she had forgotten how to empathize with, and that was well ethics. "You're serious?"

"Put it down," he ordered, and she glanced towards the man unconscious. Now that she had a good look, she noticed that the kid was young. Not even in his twenties yet. It never made a difference to her in the past, but she couldn't ignore that the way Kakashi looked at her was rather compelling.

Still, it was hard to fight against instincts and all of hers were on edge, just begging her to take that finishing blow. It would be so easy and freeing. Maybe, just maybe, there would be that trickle of guilt, but she was used to toning it out. "He's a fuse, and this spark will lead right back to Orochimaru. He will send someone more powerful once he gets word of it."

"We will deal with that, but if you want my help, no killing if it's avoidable," Kakashi retorted, and she glanced away, towards the clearing of the pigeons taking flight past the trees. Her hand was itching to slice through all that brittle skin, just itching for that finishing blow. It would all be so easy.

God knew that she wanted to do it. She wanted to kill every last person who aligned with Orochimaru. "I don't think so," she said instead, going to stab the man through the chest, but Kakashi disarmed her so fast she didn't get the chance. His arms wrapped around hers, trapping her and using his free hand to push down on her upper back so she was forced to lean forward while he locked her wrists behind her.

"Does anyone ever tell you how predictable you are?" Kakashi told her, and she turned her head, wincing slightly.

"Does anyone ever tell you that you are a bit of a bitch?" Anomie countered, turning into smoke so she could free herself and turn towards him, corporeal once more.

He glanced down at her, fully unamused as she frowned towards the katana he had tossed behind him. It was currently embedded into the ground. "You do, quite frequently. It's getting old."

"You astound me. You are willing to put yourself at risk," to put me at risk, "just so you can keep your hands clean?"

"If we start killing anyone to avoid any inconvenience, then this will never end and we're no better than the scum we fight against," he said, and watched her beautiful face scrunch up in confusion. He always liked watching the way her face would change, or the way her eyes would narrow for a split second when annoyed.

"Kakashi," her voice was even, and slowly he felt the lull in her tone that she always got when exasperated. "I am no better than the scum you fight."

"That's a choice you make. How about any time you get an idea to do something, instead, don't and just do the exact opposite and save us a lot of explaining," he told her and slowly watched the amusement rush over her face. She let out a small laugh, pulling him close by the scruff of his collar and placed a chaste kiss upon his cheek. He glanced towards her, his heart thumping so loud that he could hear it even over the sound of birds chirping just behind him in the trees.

"I just love hearing a good roast," she said and he felt himself smiling.

"Let's tie him up and leave him," Kakashi replied.

"I suppose I can only hope he dies of dehydration," she said in return, her lips quirking.

Kakashi still wished she wasn't so harsh, but he couldn't deny that that trickle of darkness and wit was what made him love her so intensely. Perhaps that was naive and he was ashamed, but he could only hope that he could contain her actions just enough to make her a better person.

"Hey," Anomie said, just after her shadow clone finished tying up the Sound ninja, since, and he could quote it, she didn't want to chip her nail on 'a trash bag boy'.

Kakashi glanced up from his book, a couple paces behind her since he was not the fastest walker. "Hm?"

"Thanks," she told him, slightly smiling when she spoke to him. "For coming with me."

He didn't even close his book before he replied in the most nonchalant tone of voice, "I'd do anything for you."

Author's Note

This chapter is named for a white poppy. 芥子(白) Keshi(Shiro) Poppy (White) Rejoice

And I didn't make a flower image cause I'm tired and I'm at work, so I will do it later. I will also edit this when I feel like it so don't judge me lol!

This chapter is perhaps one of my favorites and it's been a long time coming since Kakashi hasn't been in this story for a while.

Funny enough, I'm working on a Christmas special chapter but I ran out of inspiration half way through so if I end up finishing it and actually posting it, it will be a surprise to all parties involved.

Thank you all for reading and I love you!