CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE

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ANOMIE WAS WISHING FOR A WARM BATH AND A LUXURIOUS BATHTUB, FILLED to the brink with hot water, rose petals, and steamed coconut milk. She felt it was very necessary considering her skin was dry from the lack of moisture of using the Undying Bird's double edged abilities. In fact, unbeknownst to her companion, she was now always dehydrated, her tongue was blisteringly hot, and she was fairly certain the fact that it was fucking snowing did not help a bit. Now she was freezing, dehydrated, and in desperate need of a 'me day'.

Also, she had shared some very private information, told Kakashi she quote loved him, and she had a serious case of embarrassment with a tinge of regret. Being vulnerable was not her forte, and she now ended her day without eye contact. This was something Kakashi took notice to, judging by his scoff and comment of, "you have the emotional maturity of a academy student."

Anomie missed their banter, as it was different from the whatever the fuck came over her two nights ago. She had a hard time saying she loved watermelon let alone saying she loved another person and meaning it. "Wow. This coming from the guy who avoids confrontation with girls waiting to confess to him."

"Since when did I ever-"

Anomie interrupted him quickly. "Anbu, three months in, the girl with the amazingly round ass?"

Kakashi raised a brow. "Maybe you should have made a move. You seem to have a one track memory of her."

Anomie smiled, running her fingers through her hair and noticing the brittle thinness of her hands. She made a mental note to eat more because she was starting to look like a homeless urchin who lived off scraps of bread. "Oh I did. Someone had to pick up the pieces of her shattered heart when you tossed her love letter in the bin."

"I did n-" Kakashi paused at her look, letting out a completely exasperated sigh. They were currently engaged in the part of their quest that had them willing to stop at any village for a warm meal that Anomie didn't have to hunt. Luckily, if her map reading skills were of any use, the closest village was fast approaching. "Fine."

He was reading his book, or at least pretending to so he wouldn't have to converse. She would have done the same thing if she actually liked reading. Once again, Anomie liked very little outside of drinking lately. "I need to pick up some hobbies."

"I'd say you've grown to like the hobby of annoying me," Kakashi said with a sharp retort as he turned the page.

She scoffed, "Alright. Someone woke up on the wrong side of me." They had taken to sleeping in the same sleeping bag, and it was perhaps the most vulnerable thing she had ever let someone do with her. Even in her days as a whore, she never fell asleep aside someone. Men had already taken so many of her liberties and choice, she never liked giving them anything else. That was why she tried to avoid kissing her clients. It was her way of separating her body from her heart, her way of owning her own body in whatever way she could.

She fell asleep holding him. She woke up to his soft kisses in the morning, and she loved every sinful minute.

"You kick." Kakashi was swift with his jabs, and she was thoroughly insulted. She was known for never moving in her sleep, but she supposed that was before she slept alongside another person.

"Is that right?" Anomie felt herself smiling, watching the clouds cover the sky in grey. She knew from the look of them, that thunder was on the horizon and waiting to swallow the earth. If she had to wait out a storm in the dirt, she was certain she was going to do more than kick. "Well, you squeeze."

Kakashi's brows raised at the same time as hers, and he paused for a moment in his steps. He had a thing about cuddling up to her and holding her so tight she could barely breathe. She rather liked that too, but judging by the slight shift of his eyes as he refused to meet her stare, it was all unconscious desire. She looked away next, not knowing what to do with her hands as a heat filled her chest, almost too much to bare.

"How far away is the village?" Kakashi asked, and she glanced at him through hooded lashes as the husky tone of his voice drifted over to her. He had taken out his canteen of water, chugging it down. This left her watching his adam's apple bobbing in his throat, filling her with the desire to run her lips over it, to not just feel his skin but taste it. She shivered, unused to the feeling of actual desire. His lips were so inviting and he put away the canteen to his side. She felt like a pervert with her staring at his beautifully cruel mouth.

"An hour at most." Anomie paused, turning her body towards him. "Why?"

"So we will make it before the storm at the least," Kakashi looked up at the sky, and she noticed the lack of his mask before she felt him press her up against a tree. "Then we have time."

His lips met hers and she felt her words die in her throat before they could ever reach her tongue. His hands were tangled in her hair and she was clutching onto his clothes, pulling him closer as he lifted her up so her legs could curl around his waist. His hands were rough, but his lips were gentle as he breathed her in and absorbed her body heat. In the past, before him, a client had described kissing her akin to melting. She never understood that until she first felt Kakashi's lips on hers because every millimeter of her body was dissolving into his and for a moment she was nearly afraid of melting away.

"Stop, I can't breathe," she said in between huffs of air. He was suffocating in the best possible way. She heard his laughter and she fell even deeper into his embrace. She squeezed his shoulders when his lips fell to her jaw, sliding down until he was face first in her neck. She smiled, her chest moving hoarsely with her labored breathing and reminding her that she needed some serious hydration, food, and a bed.

Their skins were being pulled together, like magnets that were long deprived of their opposite charge. Anomie ran her fingers into his hair, his body crushing her further as she closed her eyes and just felt him there with her. There wasn't enough time, skin, kisses, or hunger that could make up for all the years wasted and that they'd never get back, but they kissed as if they had never been separated by loyalty, crimes, and heartbreak.

"I love you," he whispered against her neck, saying what he had never been afraid to tell her. She was blown away by his bravery, but that was normal because he had always been the best of the two of them. And she loved him. He deserved to know. He deserved to have a girl who was never afraid to whisper it to him, to tell him, to shout it at him.

She opened lips, but then closed them. She wasn't that girl. It was hard enough to tell him the first time, and now she had that irrationality of wishing that he would forget it so she could put her shields up one more time and he wouldn't see that, "You drive me crazy."

He looked up at her, his forehead resting against hers as they breathed each other in, "You don't ever have to say it back. You never did."

She gazed up at him, her body burning for more of him, but they were already as close as they could be. "After all this is over, and I do everything I need to do...will you still want me?"

He was smiling, his eyes so warm that she didn't even need her steamy milk bath. "I'm starting to think you don't listen to my speeches."

"Excuse me?" Anomie was grinning, her mirth matching his.

"What part of 'forever' don't you get?"

"There's no such thing as forever." Anomie was pulling him closer, just barely meeting his lips.

"You'll see." Kakashi kissed her again. That was when it started raining.

And they were laughing, dripping wet, and still laughing.

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"So what you're saying is we are broke." Kakashi was deeply unamused when Anomie walked back towards him after having disappeared so he could find lodgings. When he saw her again, she was in an ostentatious kimono with long dangling sleeves and a scarf of fur hanging over her neck.

"Crazy right?" Anomie was smiling, running her fingers over the pink flowers that were embedded into her hair. The fact that she managed to get it done in a dying storm last minute was a testament of their now dwindling coin. Kakashi was baffled by her lack of responsibility before remembering that of course Anomie should not have held onto a single cent.

"Take all that back and get back the money." Kakashi's voice was cold and almost immediately Anomie's icy stare was back as she adjusted the umbrella over her head so it could spin into a 360 above her.

"No. I don't think I will." Anomie was smiling again, the cat like wings of her eyes further causing Kakashi to rethink his life choices. "Don't worry about money Kakashi. I have a plan."

Kakashi was still unconvinced, starving, and now reluctant to trust the woman he wanted nothing more than to tie to a bed and leave there in a maybe unsexual way depending on the time of day and words exchanged and this analogy has gone off base. "No weapons or theft or sexual favors."

"It appears I don't have a plan," Anomie said with a bitterness. "I'm not taking back my clothes. I look amazing. Wait till you see what's underneath."

Kakashi wasn't particularly interested in putting himself through anymore torture of the physical nature. There were not enough cold showers available. "I'm going to look around for information. Find a way to afford the rest of the journey."

"Alright. Something tells me you're mad at me," she said, her lips curled into a devious smile. He scowled at her, his normal deadpan nowhere to be seen. Instead of answering, he pulled out his book and turned to walk away. "Okay, Kakashi, I'm sorry." He continued to walk, so she followed him with that same chuckle. She gripped his arm, feeling the well toned muscles from beneath her grasp. "The polite thing to do is listen when a beautiful woman apologizes from the bottom of her heart."

His deadpan was back. "It was more like it was from your colon than your heart."

Her brows furrowed, taking a moment to think over his words.

He sighed, "the colon is the large intestine."

Her lips dropped open. "Are you implying, my good sir, that my apology is full of shi-"

He placed a gloved palm over her mouth, his eyes smiling down at her in slits. "No crass language in front of the children."

Her reply was muffled by his gloved hand, but she managed one out. "There are no children, you dick!"

His glance turned stern, "take the clothes you bought back then."

"Wouldn't you rather take them off?" Anomie asked this with a suggestive smile, his gaze grew a shade hotter with fervor.

Slowly he let out another deep breath, "I'm gonna scout out the village."

Anomie raised her brow, but her dimples showed broadly when she smiled. "Don't worry. I will work around your moral parameters then and earn," she said the word as if she were going sick, "the money."

He gave her a chaste kiss on her forehead, surprising her as he slipped a key into her palm. She froze under the pressure of his lips and she felt her blood boil. She closed her eyes for a moment but then he was gone.

No killing, stealing, or flirting. Anomie's frown deepened when she realized that holy shit are those really my only go to options?

Anomie was now walking aimlessly, wondering if she should just kill a bitch and not tell him when she spotted something that made her remember Tsunade rather fondly. A gambling den. Anomie pursed her lips, walking closer and closer until she was in front of the doors. There was a man guarding the entrance, and he was fitted in golden armor, rather elegant for the weather, with a sword hanging from his side. Many men dressed in similar fashion hovered around the perimeter, likely to prevent theft or misconduct.

Anomie gave him her sweetest smile, as if she had never killed a fly let alone slaughter to the point of massacre. "Hello."

The guard didn't look comfortable with forced small talk, because his reply was gruff and straight to the point. "Are you on the list?"

She was on many lists, including the top fifty most wanted Shinobi turn cloaks. That had been an exciting Sunday for her. She felt a cloud of pride float over her head. "Sure am. Once you add me and I can be on my way inside."

"You're funny. What will you do for me?" He said this quick, causing her brow to raise once again. She began to go through her list of usual actions, should someone so blatantly disrespect her. Still, all of them fell on Kakashi's 'do not, for the love of shit, do not' list. Instead she smiled.

"You think I'm going to fuck you just to get through the doors?" Anomie vaguely thought of the small, but very sharp, needle hidden in her hair.

"Well," he leaned against the entrance, his brows raised with suggestive overtone. Just as she decided she was actually going to slit his throat, he was shoved aside by a much taller man with hair so black that the night sky would be jealous.

"Sumimoto, stop propositioning girls at the door, you creepy son of a bitch," the new man said, and he nodded at her. "Just go on in."

"Come on Tomo, she's hot, let me have this," the other man said as Anomie passed him. She decided to slit his throat at a later time and maybe not tell Kakashi she did it.

The inside was filled with smoke, and Anomie felt a familiar rush at the sight of the adrenaline of the men betting their money away. She shrugged, taking a step forward as she ran her fingers over the mahjong table and noticed the man pause as he reorganized the chips.

"You want want to play a round?" His question was met with Anomie's shrug, her lips quirking as she scanned the competition. There was a thick woman with a face so molded into a frown that Anomie had to wonder if the girl ever smiled once in her life. Next to that woman was a man whose hair was thin and the bags under his eyes were darker than any baggage Anomie ever had in her life. The final man was handsome enough for Anomie to smile at with a shy glance.

"Oh, I've never played before," she said, but sat down.

"Oh yeah?" Handsome asked with his dimples apparent when he smiled her way. Her lashes fanned her cheeks when she took off her pure gold bracelet with a amethyst charm on the middle. It had simple beauty worth more than her kidney.

She handed it towards him, "I'm afraid I have no other money. How much can this get me?" The dealer glanced at it with a greedy hunger in his eyes as he gingerly held it in his fingers. He inspected it with ease and he placed a few chips from his table near her mahjong tiles. It was a couple hundred under what her bracelet was worth and she let out a smile of gratitude, her eyes crinkling with the motion.

"It's okay princess, I'll go easy on you," Handsome assured her and she sent him a sheepish smile.

"Speak for yourself," Thicc woman interjected with narrowed eyes. Anomie's lips thinned. "Best watch your coin and your back, skank."

Why people felt the need to use skank as an insult was a wonder to her, but Anomie didn't find it offensive. In fact, it was a little empowering. She sent the woman a sweet smile once again. "Don't worry about my back."

The man with thinning hair glanced over her, obviously unimpressed. It was throughout the game that she noticed him sneaking glances over to Handsome, who had yet to cease his not so subtle attempts to give her pointers. These pointers came with his crass action of scooting his leg near hers until the moment she felt it brush up against her own.

With the four of them, minus the dealer who took the round to observe, each sitting across from another, Anomie was forced into glancing up and watching Miss Thicc's very penetrating gaze. The bitch wanted to win, that much Anomie knew. The game was mostly silent, with the clanking of porcelain. She organized her tiles, spotting the tiles and saying a swift, "pung." She grabbed a discarded bamboo tile, rearranging and placing it next to her other ones.

"You're doing great, babe," Handsome told her with a low whisper.

"No whispering at the table," the dealer ordered, wondering now if anyone would give a shit if he smoked.

"Mahjong," Miss Thicc stated, revealing her tiles and showing the four sets and a pair.

"Oh wow," Anomie said with a disappointed smile. "I can't believe I lost."

"Hm," Miss Thicc said, her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"I'm so disappointed," she said, glancing towards Handsome with a frown.

"Well, I'll play again if you like." Handsome looked reluctant to be parted from the silver haired beauty, and Anomie smiled.

"I'll play again," Miss Thicc agreed with a rather rude sneer. "However, you must bet twice the amount."

"Whatever," the dealer stated, reorganizing the tiles for everyone.

"I'll play too," the man with thinning hair stated, glancing at Handsome once again.

Anomie knocked a tile off the table. "Oh how clumsy of me. Could you get that for me?"

The man with thinning hair gave Anomie a curt nod and grabbed the tile. As he was handing it over to her, he had to reach over Handsome. When he went to drop the tile in her palm, she moved her hand aside so it landed in Handsome's lap.

"How about you grab that too?" Anomie said with another smile as the man with thinning hair began to have cheeks so flushed it was a wonder his blood didn't drip from his pores. Anomie giggles, not breaking eye contact as she grabbed the tile and brushed her knuckles over Handsome's lap. She finally met his gaze. "Thanks."

When the game began, both men were unfocused. That made them sloppy, and Anomie went in for more patience and strategy. She had spent the entire last game losing and watching how the three had played. She noticed that they each had a favorable method of which direction they grabbed so Anomie adjusted her method. She didn't bother separating her tiles and towards the end of the game, she was careful.

She discarded mostly tiles that had been discarded by others, and before long, she called out her "mahjong." This came out as a surprise to the other players, with the dealer watching with a raised brow from a distance. "Wow. It feels great to win double."

Miss Thicc let out a laugh, "you bluffing bitch." The woman turned her head towards the man with thinning hair. "You worthless sack of shit. What kind of husband loses all our money." Anomie shrugged with a smile, sending the man with thinning hair a wink. As she stood up, she grabbed her chips and walked near the thinning haired man. She leaned over and whispered.

"I suggest you make your move. The wife will never hear of it from me if you bump it with him," Anomie whispered, her deduction of his sexuality having made her only real completion too distracted to properly strategize.

"Hey," Handsome stood up as she went to walk away. "Wanna get a drink?"

"Sorry. I'm dying in two weeks," Anomie said with a wave her her hand as she left him gaping at her back while she went to cash in her chips for the money Kakashi was bitching about.

When she got back to the hotel room, she noticed immediately that Kakashi was giving her the silent treatment.

Perhaps, however, this was her fault for entering the room with a knock at her own door and saying, "you still being an oversensitive bitch?"

She began to wonder if all relationships were like this with two people too stubborn to get over anything. Then she wondered holy fuck am I in a relationship? The fact of the matter was that Anomie did not know. She didn't even know how to be a lover only that she knew she would be a very bad one.

Kakashi flipped a page in his book, a bit more aggressively than normal. This drew her to the conclusion that he was still being a bitch. She sighed, dropping a string of money on the table. He glanced from it and back to her face. "Where did you steal it?"

She gasped, her hand going to her chest. "Excuse you? I am a lady, Kakashi. A hardworking lady."

He raised a brow. "You threatened to, and I quote, 'kill a bitch's first born heir' for bumping into you this morning."

She smiled at the memory, but quickly got rid of any sign that she might not be innocent. "Where's the trust? I have been on my best behavior."

"I once saw you actually forget the word for 'I'm sorry'," he reminded her.

"Japanese is a fluid language."

"Two weeks ago, you tried to gauge out that last assassin's eye."

"He got my dress dirty."

"You actually broke my rib one time."

"Okay, you seriously need to stop remembering stuff," she snapped, glancing at his ribs with a thin smile. His gaze ran back to the money with an expectant expression. "I won it at mahjong."

"I didn't know you played," he said with a tilt of his head.

"The things brothels teach you is astounding," she said, sitting down next to him on the bay window. She grabbed his hand and stroked up his forearm. His eye watched her unconscious movements. "I only had to flirt a little bit."

"Ah," he said, less than impressed.

She laughed, "are you jealous?" She ran her fingers further up his arm.

"Not at all," he assured her with a smile, now reading his book with one hand. She watched the way his eye scanned the words. She wondered if he would like to still read Jiraiya's work if she told him that she had her own experiment with the buff sannin. Still, Anomie had learned long ago not to kiss and tell.

"I've been thinking," she told him.

"Please do that often."

"Your sass is getting old," she said with a smile. "How about we order room service and stay in bed?"

He glanced over to her. "I had similar thoughts. But first, how about you go to your surprise in the washroom."

She lit up. "You got me a surprise?" She dropped his arm and rushed to the other room to see a steaming round bath filled with rose petals and coconut milk. Her eyes widened, and she turned around to see Kakashi smiling on the bay window.

His mask was down and she rushed to him, gripping him by the chin and running her fingers along his jaw. "Thank you."

"I should get you gifts more often," he told her with that same smile. She leaned closer until she was nearly straddling him.

"I am not opposed to that."

"Go before it gets cold." He said this with a tone that suggested much restraint. She thought about inviting him, but she wasn't certain she was ready to put him through anymore teasing. Instead, she kissed his nose and rushed to her bath.

After she left, Kakashi's bare fingertips drifted to his nose and his lips curled into a gentle smile. It was odd, to be this happy on such a temporary high. He dreaded the inevitable. He dreaded them going their separate ways. Still, he was able to ignore it when Anomie paused at the doorway. She turned around, facing him.

"You were so mad about the new clothes," she told him with an arch in her brow. Slowly she watched his eyes follow her every movement as she undid the obi around her waist. Underneath was bright red lingerie. It was fit with lace and straps and had Kakashi been younger, he might have dropped his book. "And I'm sure you are expecting me to give you an 'I told you so'?"

"Hardly."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not ten years old," he said, placing his book down and walking up to her. She expected him to admire her outfit, but instead he lifted her up and practically tossed her into the water. Her head went under and she gasped as she came up for air. Many of her pins that kept said hair up were now sunk to the bottom of the water.

"How could you?" Anomie spit out a rose petal, and Kakashi leaned next to the tub, his cheek resting against his arm as they laid on the edge of the porcelain. She smiled, wadding through the water as she took in his eyes. Her hands were busy with gathering the sharp pins from her hair and tossing them on the floor.

"Me? Who was teasing who?" Kakashi smiled, careful not to touch her, unable to guarantee he could stop.

She leaned close, not having that moral dilemma. She closed her eyes, picturing what could happen, testing the fear that raked down her spine at the thought. It was a dull echo. She pressed his face in between her palms, "have I ever told you how adorable you are?"

"That's a little demeaning," he said with a playful smile.

Her new lingerie was soaked through, and if it had been anyone else that caused such a thing, she really would have 'cut a bitch'. "What would you prefer? Hot? Sexy? Flaming? Handsome?"

His smile grew. "All of those would be accepting to my underwhelming ambitions."

She rubbed her nose against his, feeling his skin spread heat over her body. She was trembling, and she obviously wasn't cold since the bath was fresh and warm. It was almost suspicious since she was certain it must have been prepared for her only minutes before she arrived.

She leaned back, her brows furrowed as the dots connected. "Did you spy on me?"

"Define 'spy'."

"You son of a bitch." She tried to think back to her walk through the village, remembering that she had felt someone watching her. She brushed it off since when a person had an ass like hers, a few eyes looking over were hardly out of the ordinary. "You made a clone."

"I didn't trust you around people," he admitted, and she felt her lips twitch up.

"Is that right?" Anomie leaned back in her bath. She allowed her body to sink into the warm water, the petals rushing around her in a torrent. Slowly, she pulled down her hair, dropping the remaining pins outside the bath. It fell around her shoulders in a mess of waves.

He watched every action, obviously entranced by her movements. She sent him a coy smile and the water dripped off her slightly damp hair and down the middle of her cleavage. Her knee lifted from the water, and he watched the white milk trickle down her skin. That was when she unclasped her bra. Her hair covered her chest when she tossed the red bra behind him.

The tension rose in the room and Kakashi tried to remember when he ever felt so out of control. That was when she spoke, "tell me you're sorry from the bottom of your heart."

"No," he told her instead, watching her legs move without shame.

She smiled again, "shame. You know I have a reward system for things that make me happy."

She leaned forward and he was careful to only look into her eyes as her hair swept away from her chest. She grabbed the shampoo and lathered it into her scalp. He was careful to respect her, and she did like that about him. She liked how he maintained control in areas where everyone else always lost it. She held out her hand.

"Join me." Anomie watched him contemplate just exactly that, but slowly he smiled instead. He moved up his sleeves, removed his gloves, and took her hand. With the ease of the water, he slid her closer so he could run his fingers over her face.

She made a motion to speak, but he only silenced her with a bare finger. The action was intimate, in a way that she never knew before and it made her unsure of herself. That was insane because as far as sex went, she was an expert.

That thought made her pause, her eyes widening when she realized that this was not sex. The way he ran his fingers through her hair, spread the shampoo over her scalp, and pressed his fingertips into her skin was not tarnished by sexual desire. Instead, it felt as if he were content with just holding her. She felt his face press into her neck and she closed her eyes.

"After the stone is destroyed," she whispered, and he froze at the thought of what would happen after. "I want to tell you everything."

"You do?" Kakashi had been burned by her before, and he had learned to remain a bit guarded in the face of her decisions.

She turned towards him, her hair wet and forcing him to see just how stunning she was. Even with the feather burn across her neck, or the bruise he only just noticed on her shoulder or the scar upon her chest. Even with all of that, she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. He began to wonder if she had put him under a Genjutsu from the beginning.

"I will tell you everything," she assured him, brows furrowed. "And after it's all over, you will understand why I did all I had to."

Kakashi smiled, relief deep in his gaze. Still he was only a man and her hair was pushed back. His eyes escaped his control and glanced downward. She let out a laugh.

"I was wondering when it would tempt you," she told him, noticing the deep hunger in his eyes when they met hers. It didn't scare her as much as she thought it might. That echo of fear was fading and at the end of the tunnel, she began to wonder if she could finally be a girl again.

He covered his eyes with a palm, respectfully looking away. His heart was beating out of his chest and when he felt her palms again against his shoulders, he froze. "You should finish up and then get dressed."

"Yes. Perhaps so," she whispered, and then she kissed him. It was chaste and sweet, and she was thankful that she even got the chance to taste him.

"Anomie," he warned, his heart now blaring and screaming from beneath his ribs.

She leaned over and whispered in his ear. "Join me."

She noticed he still wasn't moving, and she saw in his face that he was unsure of himself. That was a first since he always seemed so confident. Then again, she had to wonder if he had ever been one to actually practice on girls before. That thought led her mind down a road of jealousy, so she decided to instead grip his flak jacket.

Slowly, she began to undo the zipper, barely aware that her hands were shaking. He watched the movement, as if he could put every brush of her fingers down to a mathematical formula. She smiled at the thought, slowly pulling the flak jacket off from his arms.

She was breathing heavy now, aware that she was nervous, basically naked, and he was just staring at her. Why isn't he saying anything? She pressed her palms up against his chest, feeling his muscles through the thick blue shirt and running them along his body. She felt him tremble from beneath her touch, but still he didn't touch her back.

She wasn't sure she wanted him to. She wasn't certain of anything. She glanced back up at his eyes, and she made sure she didn't miss a glance when she forced the shirt off his not so reluctant body. His body underneath was smooth, toned, and lean. She traced every curve, as if she were studying him.

"You can take off your own pants," she told him, leaning back and smiling despite the fact that her heart was beating so fast she feared it might make a visible quake of ripples in the water. She was terrified. She only looked away for a moment to find that he had in fact joined her in the water. His mask was around his neck as the only article of clothing he had not removed.

The laugh that escaped her lips was a genuine one. She tried to quell it, but it rose up again with vigor. "You are adorable."

He fingered the dark material, and she saw his embarrassment clearly now that they were in the light. "I like it on."

"Are you...shy, Kakashi?" Anomie had always noticed they usually were all hands and lips. They had never quite taken things so slowly with so few clothes. It was a new experience that she enjoyed exploring, even if it did scare her immensely.

"I am not," he assured her, watching her crawl closer. It might have been sexy, had her hand not slipped and she fell face first into the water. He leaned forward, trying, and failing, to quell his laughter as he gripped her by the shoulders. "You're not usually so clumsy."

She glanced up at him, her face red and her lips curled into a soft giggle. "I know. I'm a mess. And you ruined my makeup."

He laughed again, his hand working their way up, running over the sides of her neck, towards her jaw, where he finally used his thumbs to wipe away the mascara that had run. She stared up at him, her heart still in her chest, her hands braced against his thighs, and her blood running hot.

"It's funny," he said, his breath fanning her lips as she tried to control herself long enough not to press into him.

"What's funny?" Anomie asked in return.

"You are always so put together. Who knew the real you would be a tripping hazard?"

"I did tell you before," she said with a sheepish smile. "You didn't really know me."

"And I told you," he whispered, bringing her face closer so he could breathe her into his system. "I knew enough."

"I pictured it clearly you know," she managed to say it out loud, even if it was vague. She always said Kakashi deserved more than she could ever give him. Still, the solution would be to give him enough of herself so he might be content. He raised a brow, and she had pressed her palms up into his chest. "A life with you. I know I made it seem I didn't want one, but still, when I close my eyes I can see it."

Kakashi couldn't breathe. The air had grown thick with the steam, the smell of her shampoo, the smell of her perfume, and the feeling of her skin against his. If he had his way, his inner desires were far too indecent to not spoil her trust, so he tried to fight against his every need. Still, when she was so close, so bare, and so honest, every part of him had succumbed to her words. There had been so many times in the past when he had kissed her, only to come up for air and tell himself that this was the last time he would.

He found himself never able to control himself. Right now was no different, and he pressed his lips against hers and immediately felt his entire body swallow the sensations of how she felt against him. Her hands had gripped the back of his neck, her nails running into the base of his hair and he let out a groan. It was embarrassing, especially after her words shared with him not so long ago. He didn't want to pressure her or make her feel as if she had to do what was expected.

Anomie grabbed his hand, dragging it to her chest so his palm was flat against her heart. "Everything you feel," she whispered against his lips. "I feel it too."

"Is that so?" Kakashi's hands were against her, his lips so close, and he felt drunk. As if they were clones of one another, her heart beat felt feral against his skin, matching his own. He stared into her eyes and kissed her as if he wanted to drown.

Author's Note

スイバ (Suiba ) sorrel means affection.

Wow, this chapter was steamy! I actually finished it last week, but kept on erasing the ending and rewriting. Now I'm just gonna not look at it for a couple days to see if I still liked it.

I was shook! Someone legit badmouthed me the other day about calling Anomie a geisha and saying a geisha was a prostitute. I never said that. I don't know where they got the idea that I thought a geisha was a courtesan. Some people really gotta chill!

Anyway, thank you to everyone who read.

If you want extra content for the series, including sneak peaks into the chapters before anyone else, please visit my patroen /ulyanavolkov (

Thank you so much for all the support!