Author Note: Chapters 4 and 5 go together; I split them up because otherwise it seemed too long.


It took all of her self-control for Shepard to stay in her quarters that night. She wanted nothing more than to grab a bottle of bourbon and two glasses and prowl the empty ship looking for Williams. But it would definitely not be the prudent thing to do. The mission on Therum took more out of her than she would have liked to admit, and rest was a priority.

And then there was that pesky matter of her seeming inability to maintain her usual confidence when alone with the gunnery chief in the wee hours of the night. She could not figure out why she had felt like a blushing virgin around Williams on those two previous occasions. It was a stark contrast to their interactions in the (sometimes figurative) light of day. Hell, she even managed to flirt with Williams in the middle of a skirmish on Therum (successfully, too, if their conversation in the med-bay was any indication).

It wasn't like Shepard had ever had trouble charming women before. She couldn't recall even one time when she failed to get a target into bed. And there had been many targets.

And it wasn't just that. If there was one constant in her life, it was that Shepard was always in command. On the battlefield or on the deck of her ship, in armor or in uniform, she naturally exuded authority and confidence.

So why the hell did the thought of seeing Williams alone late at night make her feel so apprehensive and uncertain? How did the cocksure, brash Commander Shepard turn into fumbling, incoherent Commander Awkward when she got around the chief? She felt completely out of her element.

So now, a few days after Therum, the Normandy was headed back to the Citadel to resupply and provide a short shore leave. This left the team with some free time on board. When not carrying out her normal duties, Shepard spent her downtime in the gym or conferring with her crew. She hadn't had much of a chance to speak with Williams, except in passing.

The night before they were scheduled to arrive at the Citadel, Shepard again found herself unable to sleep. Pacing around the cabin wasn't helping. It only reminded her that she wasn't sleeping. She grabbed her bottle and glass. As she hit the door, she remembered Williams' admonition to bring two glasses the next time she wandered the ship with her bottle.

What if she isn't even around? I'll look like an ass walking around with two glasses, she thought. Then again, she purposely confined her wanderings to areas that were typically empty, and she'd never run into anyone before. Odds were, nobody would even notice. With that settled, she went back and picked up a second tumbler, then headed out the door.

Shepard decided to try out the gym first. Best case, Williams would show up. Worst case, nobody would show up and she'd at least have a quiet place to enjoy a bit of bourbon. With two glasses.

The gym was dark. Shepard actually felt a little relieved. She turned on just one section of lights, leaving the rest of the room in shadow. The weight bench closest to the door had a barbell on the rack (Who keeps doing that?), so she bypassed that one and found another that she could safely occupy without worrying about a blow to the head.

As she sat down, Shepard realized that she was again wearing only her white tank and gray pajama pants. She hoped that the girls would behave themselves, should Williams show up. She glanced around and didn't see anything she could throw on over the flimsy top. She was going to just have to take her chances.

Picking up the bottle and one of the two glasses she'd set down on the floor next to the bench, Shepard poured herself two fingers of bourbon. After a pause, she added a bit more. It would save her the trouble of picking up the bottle again too soon, she figured. She was just being efficient.

Shepard savored the first few swallows, closing her eyes and feeling the warmth as it traveled down her throat and chest. She let out a contented sigh and felt her shoulders relax. She hadn't realized how tightly she had been wound over the last few days. An instant later, the door hissed open and her shoulders immediately tensed up again.

Turning her head to the door, Shepard saw Ashley hesitate for just a moment then stride in. Williams was wearing a form-fitting black tank and dark gray spandex pants that went to just past her knees. Her dark hair was loose. There was at least plausible deniability that she was dressed to work out, but Shepard knew better. Or at least she hoped she did.

"Hey, Chief. Don't I give you enough time to hit the gym during the day?"

Williams glanced at the extra empty glass sitting alongside the bottle of bourbon on the floor next to Shepard. A ghost of a smile played across her lips. "No, ma'am. I mean, yes ma'am, I do have enough time during the day. But I was hoping that would be the only thing I'd be lifting tonight." She indicated the second tumbler next to Shepard.

Shepard motioned her over. Williams grabbed a nearby chair and brought it next to the bench Shepard occupied and made herself comfortable, leaning back with one ankle crossed over the opposite knee.

With a broad smile, Shepard poured a measure out for Williams and handed it over to her. "So Williams - how's the knee doing?"

After letting the first mouthful of bourbon slide down her throat, Ashley answered, "Seems fine. Dr. Chakwas has recommended that I use a brace for another week or two when I'm on any planet-side missions, but otherwise it hasn't been a problem."

"Glad to hear it. And I really am sorry about that. Was that when I popped the Mako up on its side through those rocks?" Shepard's eyes lit up. "That was pretty fucking amazing. I had no idea the Mako could even do that! Damn that thing is fun to drive. Oh - but sorry about the knee."

Williams couldn't help but laugh at the commander's enthusiasm. "No worries. I'll know to keep myself ready for anything next time. Looks like that goose egg is finally gone." As Ashley eyes focused on Shepard's forehead, Shepard was suddenly aware that her short hair was probably sticking out in a dozen different directions, courtesy of her earlier attempts to sleep. She tried to smooth it down, in a distracted, self-conscious way. Then with nothing for her hands to do, she picked up her glass and took a couple gulps.

"So tell me, Williams. I've seen your military jacket. Your record is spotless, and your tech scores are off the charts. Why have you been stationed groundside? You should have been serving with the fleet long before joining the Normandy."

Ashley's eyes glanced downward. "Err, couldn't say. Those decisions are above my pay grade. But I am grateful that you've allowed me to serve aboard the Normandy, ma'am."

Shepard smiled. "You're drinking my good bourbon, Chief. I think you can drop the 'ma'am'. And I haven't 'allowed' anything - you've earned your place here, Williams."

"Yes, ma'am. Dammit. I mean, of course. . . Shepard." Williams gave an appreciative hum as she took another sip from her glass.

"I remember you telling me you come from a military family?" Shepard asked, taking her own sip of bourbon.

"Sure do. . ." This time Williams stopped before adding ma'am. "My family has served the Alliance since it was founded. My father, grandfather and great grandmother all picked up a rifle and swore the oath of service. And you?"

Shepard leaned over onto her side on the weight bench, propping herself up on one elbow and putting herself closer to Williams. "Both my parents served in the Navy. I grew up moving from ship to ship and station to station. Couldn't imagine any other life. Do you think there's anybody in your family that me or my folks would know?"

Again, the chief's eyes shifted away from Shepard. "Couldn't say."

Interesting. That's the second evasion. Shepard made a mental note to follow up with the chief on that at a later time, if she got the chance. She wasn't going to push it tonight, though. Tonight was casual. She picked up the bottle and refilled both glasses.

Conversation between the two soldiers continued. Williams told Shepard a little about her family. Shepard talked a bit about her N7 training. They chatted a bit about the crew and how things were going on their mission.

When both glasses were empty again, Shepard contemplated another refill. So far, things had gone well. Williams seemed relaxed and comfortable with her. Shepard hadn't said or done anything too stupid. Always leave them wanting more, she thought. Now might be a good time to go. Reluctantly, she said, "Chief, oh dark thirty comes awfully early in the morning. Thanks for sharing a drink with me, but I think it's time I call it a night."

As Shepard sat up and made to gather up her bottle and glass, Williams helpfully picked up her empty glass and leaned over to hand it over to the commander. As Shepard took it from her, their fingers brushed together, sending a surprising jolt up Shepard's arm at the incidental contact. She moved her eyes up from the glass to Ashley's face, and saw that Williams was looking at her intently.

Without thinking, Shepard set the glass down and shifted a few inches along the weight bench to move closer to Ashley, cupping Ashley's jaw with her hand. Williams leaned into the contact, bringing her own hand up to wrap her long fingers around Shepard's wrist. Ashley's other hand moved to the back of Shepard's neck, drawing her in closer until their lips were nearly touching, but not quite. Shepard's heart pounded in her chest. This close, she could see the desire in Ashley's eyes, and was fairly certain Ashley could see the same in hers.

Shepard closed the last ghost of a distance between them, kissing Ashley tentatively at first, giving the chief the chance to pull back if she wanted. Ashley instead pressed her lips more firmly on Shepard's. Shepard brought her hands to the back of Williams' head, tangling her fingers into her thick hair. The Marine's now free hand moved to Shepard's waist. Ashley parted her lips, darting her tongue out to tease at Shepard's mouth, seeking entrance. Shepard obliged, deepening the kiss with her own tongue. Ashley tasted deliciously of bourbon and desire. Time seemed to slow, the world narrowing down to this moment, this woman, this kiss.

Surprising even herself, Shepard broke the kiss first, pulling slightly away, breathless. If this were like any of the other of her many conquests, she would have laid Williams out naked on the nearest weight bench. But something in her wouldn't let that happen. For the first time, she wanted to do this right. Not that she didn't want to lay Williams out naked on the nearest weight bench. She really did. But she wanted it to mean something more than just a quick fuck. And the thought scared the hell out of her.

Shepard withdrew her hands from Williams' hair. She saw Ashley's eyes fixed on her own, searching for a clue as to what Shepard was thinking. Shepard moved her hands to either side of Ashley's face.

"That was. . . breathtaking. I didn't think. . . I wasn't sure if you. . . I - " Get a grip, Shepard. Shepard took a breath, and tried again. "Ashley, I want you - oh god, how I want you - but I want something more than just a one-time bang. If you think you'd be interested in more, I'd like to do this right. Have it mean something. I'm not even sure what, because this is new territory for me, and I don't know what the hell I'm saying right now and I'm pretty sure I'm babbling like some goddamn idiot." Shepard cut off, biting her lower lip in an attempt to shut herself up.

Williams arched one eyebrow at Shepard, and leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on Shepard's lips that was meaningful despite its simplicity. "Shepard, I am very interested in more." Williams took both of Shepard's hands in her own, and brought them down between them. "Just say the word."

"Sloane." Shepard choked out, looking at their entwined hands.

"What was that, Shepard?"

Shepard looked up at Ashley, establishing eye contact. "My name is Sloane. I think I'd like it if you called me Sloane."

"Sloane." Williams rolled it around in her mouth. "Alright, Sloane. If we're going to do this, maybe you can start by buying a girl a drink tomorrow night on shore leave. I'll be at Flux."

With one final kiss, Williams stood up and left the gym. Shepard admired the view as Ashley walked out the door, then lay back on the weight bench, grinning like a fool.