Shepard stormed around the comm room. She eyed the new chairs set up along the edge of the room, deciding to leave them alone this time. The railing behind the chairs was not so lucky.
Once, just once, Shepard would like a mission to not devolve into a major clusterfuck. Why couldn't she just go down to a planet, find what she's looking for, and then simply return to the ship? Would that be so unreasonable?
OoOoO
Noveria should have been simple. Benezia had been tracked to the planet, and it should not have been that difficult to find an asari matriarch. They kind of stand out.
Just getting out of Port Hanshin required much more work than Shepard expected. Everybody wanted something. Did she look like a goddamn smuggler? She did help out the internal affairs officer root out some corruption that went too far (it would seem a little corruption was acceptable; too much was bad for business), but only because nobody else would let her into the garage to leave the damn port otherwise.
Shepard eventually got to Peak 15, the last place Benezia was seen, but apparently the asari had brought a bunch of geth with her to the planet. She combined with Liara and Williams to dispose of them, only to come face to face with giant fucking space spiders. Those were a little more tricky, but they put them all down as well.
Knowing that she should just expect the unexpected, Shepard didn't seem too surprised that the station's VI was down and needed to be manually brought back on-line before she could get to Rift Station and Benezia. After more space spiders (Fuck those things) and a duplicitous security chief, Shepard and team finally located the matriarch.
And then things got worse.
Shepard killed Liara's mother. In front of Liara. After a few moments of un-indoctrinated lucidity that allowed mother and daughter to share the beginnings of a reconciliation. Shepard knew she had no choice but to kill Saren's pawn, but she certainly did not like it. As they walked away from the dead matriarch, she searched Liara's eyes, looking for some clue as to what she was feeling. She was chilled to see the young asari's face fall into a blank mask.
Shit.
OoOoO
The first thing Shepard did when she got back to the ship was to order a squad back to Rift Station to retrieve Benezia T'Soni's body. The least she could do was allow Liara to inter her mother according to asari custom. Shepard had no idea what that was, and didn't want to intrude on Liara's grief just yet to ask. She'd give Liara a little while to process things first.
In the meantime, she had a very difficult mission report to prepare. She grabbed a datapad and sat in the nearest chair to begin.
When the door opened some thirty minutes later, Shepard was grateful for Ashley and her incredibly reliable coffee delivery service. Williams sat in the chair next to Shepard. "Everything okay, Shepard?" she asked, as she eyed the broken railing.
"It is now. Thanks, Ash."
"Have you talked to Liara? She was scary calm on our way back to the Normandy. That's not normal."
"Not yet. I wanted to give her some time to herself first. I'm not sure she's going to want to talk to me, not after watching me kill her mother. Fuck. I should have left her on the Normandy. It was stupid for me to bring her down to face Benezia."
"There's no way you could have done that. She wanted to be there. She needed to be there. At least she had a few minutes with her mother. Her real mother, not the thing Saren turned her into." Ashley got up and walked over to Shepard, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You did everything right, Shepard. But as a very loud, angry woman once told me, you can't control it all."
"This loud, angry woman sounds very wise. And irresistibly sexy." Shepard set her coffee cup and datapad aside, and pulled Williams onto her lap, snaking her hands around the chief's waist and kissing her hungrily. Ashley responded enthusiastically in kind, wrapping her arms around Shepard's neck.
Joker's voice came over the comm speaker. "Commander, want me to patch you through to the Council? Or do that other thing?"
"The fuck the Council thing?"
"Yes, ma'am. That thing."
"Joker, please do that other thing."
"Yes, ma'am."
"And Joker?"
"Ma'am?"
"You have to work on your timing."
"Sorry, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Say hi to Chief Williams for me, ma'am. Joker out."
"Smartass." Turning her attention back to Williams, her voice low, she asked, "Now where were we?"
"You were working on a report, and I was heading below to clean space spider guts off our equipment."
"You're so hot when you talk alien entrails."
"You know it." With one more kiss, Ashley took her leave. As she always did, Shepard appreciated the view as she left.
The commander stared for a while at her datapad. Ashley's short diversion had been welcome; the truth was that she simply couldn't concentrate. She was still thinking of how Liara must be feeling. It must have been awful, first seeing Benezia under Saren's sway, trying to kill her own daughter. Then, after a fleeting moment of having her mother back, watching Shepard kill her.
She set her datapad aside again. "Joker, patch me through to Hannah Shepard on the SSV Kilimanjaro. Real-time connection."
"Aye-aye, Commander."
Shepard's shoulders visibly relaxed when she heard her mother's voice in response to the hail. "Shepard speaking."
"Hi, mom. Got a minute? I just wanted to talk."
OoOoO
A few hours later, the mission report as complete as it was going to be, Shepard went to Liara's room. There was no response to her knock, so she let herself in. The room was dark except for the glow of the computer screen on the desk. After allowing her eyes to adjust to the dim light, Shepard realized that Liara was sitting on the floor in the corner, back propped up against the wall. She still hadn't changed out of her combat armor.
Without saying a word, Shepard slowly lowered herself to the floor next to the asari. Liara continued to stare forward, eyes focused on nothing. Shepard could see dried tears on her face. Shepard took that as a good sign - Liara's earlier emotional shutdown had concerned her. After a moment, Liara gradually leaned over until her head was on Shepard's shoulder. The commander wrapped her arms around her friend, and pulled her tight against her chest. Liara's breath came in ragged shudders, as she began to cry again. Or maybe she had never stopped.
Shepard bent her head to rest her cheek on Liara's crest, mumbling soothing words as Liara wept.
They stayed like that for a very long time.
OoOoO
Eventually Shepard heard Liara take several deep breaths. The asari sat up, and tried to wipe her tears with the back of her hands, only to realize that she was still wearing her armored gloves. Shepard held out the sleeve of her own shirt, receiving a very small smile in return as Liara took her up on the offer.
"Let me," Shepard said quietly as she began to unfasten Liara's armor and help her remove it piece by piece.
"What must you think of me, Commander?" Liara's voice was rough and raw.
"I think you're one of the strongest people I know, that's what I think."
Liara's looked sharply at Shepard. "You're just saying that so I don't start crying again."
Shepard protested, "No, I mean it. Today was probably the single most fucked up thing to happen to a person, and yet here you are. You came back to the Normandy, you didn't run off. That tells me something."
"Of course I came back. I need to see this through, Shepard. We must find and stop Saren."
"That's what I'm talking about. After everything that went down today, you can still say that. Not many could." Shepard squeezed Liara's hand. "I'm as impressed as hell." Liara nodded slightly.
"At the end, she called me Little Wing," Liara sniffled.
"I heard that. What did that mean?"
"It's what she used to call me when I was a little girl. I don't know what it meant, but she often used it when she was particularly proud of me."
"I'm glad you got to see her that way, Liara. If only for a moment. She should be proud of you." Shepard took a deep breath. "I'm sorry things ended as they did. That I ended it." That was as much as she trusted herself to say.
"Oh, Shepard. You cannot blame yourself. She was not the woman she used to be. Saren twisted her, broke her, and reshaped her into a corrupted tool for him to use. She was too deeply affected to ever be Benezia T'Soni again. I just wish we'd been able to retrieve . . . her, so that I could make sure she receives the proper asari rites."
Shepard let go of the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She knew that Liara would not forgive her that easily, not deep down, not completely, but she was glad that Liara had begun making the effort. "I had a crew go back for her. She's down in the hold. I just need to know where you want to go."
Liara's eyes began to tear up again, as she threw her arms around Shepard. "Thank you, Shepard. You have no idea what this means to me. I would like to take her home to Thessia, when we have time, when this is over."
"Liara, we'll take her now. Just let Joker know where to go."
"Really? Thank you, Shepard. Truly." Liara took a moment to compose herself. "Is it alright if I go down to the hold? I'd like to sit with her."
Shepard looked at Liara, still filthy from battle. She knew that Liara hadn't had her post-mission medical check, nor had she eaten since they returned to the Normandy. But she could not deny her friend this simple thing. "Do what you need to do. I'll send Wrex down with something for you to eat, if that's alright. But please make sure you see Dr. Chakwas as soon as you feel up to it."
"Of course. Thank you, Shepard. And please, do not feel like you must avoid me. I do not want to lose you, too. I don't have many friends, and. . ."
Shepard touched her lips to Liara's forehead. "Just let me know if you need anything else." She stood, reaching a hand down to help Liara to her feet. "I'm glad you're here."
She left Liara alone so that she could change before going down to the hold. She found Wrex in the mess, and asked him to bring some food down Liara. She expected that Wrex would probably also stay and keep Liara company, without needing to ask him to. She then headed for her quarters. She needed a drink. Or several.
OoOoO
Shepard and a few of the crew, including Williams, Wrex, Garrus, Chakwas and Tali, accompanied Liara and her mother's body down to Thessia. Liara arranged for a small funeral, opting for a burial at sea for Benezia. Shepard ensured that the Normandy stayed put until she was sure Liara was ready to leave. Thirty-six hours later, everyone was back on board and they continued on to their next destination - the Citadel.
