Ashley's first assignment after the Normandy was a routine colony posting. Nothing terribly challenging or exciting. Ashley didn't mind. She was still regaining her strength and muscle. Dull was perfectly fine for that.
Ashley spent her days on patrol, her nights alone in her bunk. She ate meals with her squad, but wasn't ready for the casual camaraderie common to marines. She was just social enough to blend in, never revealing too much. Her squadmates wanted to hear stories about the Normandy and the Battle of the Citadel, and sometimes she would oblige. But she rarely mentioned Shepard by name. The pain was still too raw.
OoOoO
Explosions. Fire. Crew members lying bloody on the deck. Ejecting the escape shuttle. Shepard floating in space. Hearing her last words, her last breath. Helpless to do anything. Watching her lover die. Die, and float away.
Ashley bolted upright in her bed, chest tight, face wet. The nightmares didn't come as often, some eight months later. But they were still almost too painful to bear. Bringing her knees to her chest, Ashley hugged her legs tight against her, trying to calm her breathing. Her last CO had tried to send her to the shrink, but she refused. There was nothing they could do to help, and she didn't need any psych issues on her record.
Once the pain her chest passed and she could breath properly again, Ashley reached into her foot locker and pulled out a datapad. The one that Hannah Shepard had given her. Reading through some of the messages soothed her after the nightmares.
OoOoO
To: Captain Shepard
From: Commander Shepard
We're out of live comms range for a while again. Still can't give you the where or what, but just know I'm okay.
Remember that new Marine I told you about? She's been a great addition to the crew. I've never had a better sniper on my team. The way she handles a rifle is impressive. And to her credit she appreciates my taste in bourbon.
Hope to talk soon.
OoOoO
To: Captain Shepard
From: Commander Shepard
Got your message. Still out of live comms range. Our mission went better than expected. We gained our objective, and I kicked a Krogan battlemaster's ass. Damn, that was fun.
You asked about that new Marine. Her name is Williams. She's tough as hell. Kind of cocky. But I like that.
OoOoO
To: Captain Shepard
From: Commander Shepard
I know we haven't been able to talk for a couple weeks. Just when I'm back in comms range, you aren't. That's space life for you. Wouldn't trade it for anything, though.
Quick question. Did you ever come across any soldiers named Williams? I know it's a common name, but the Chief's dad, grandfather and great-grandmother all served in the Alliance, and you'd think a legacy like that would stand out somewhere.
I might have set up a date with her tonight. The Marine. Or she set up a date with me. I'm still not sure what happened. I'm not really the dating kind. But I'm definitely showing up. Williams is different than anyone I've met before.
Stay safe.
OoOoO
After a year on the colony, Ashley received a new assignment. This one put her back on a warship, patrolling the farther reaches of Alliance space for slavers. Her initial anxieties at being back aboard a ship quickly faded as she regained her space legs.
Although it had been more than a year since Shepard died, Ashley still had no interest in anyone else. There was one drunken night on leave a few months before when a fellow Marine joined her in a darkened corner of a bar. At first, Ashley responded to her flirting, enjoying the feeling of being desired again. The other Marine was beautiful. She was a couple of inches shorter than Ashley, with blonde hair that has been shorn close to her scalp. Everything Shepard was not. Her clear blue eyes were somewhat dulled by the alcohol they'd been sharing, but Ashley still got lost looking into them. Furtive touches soon gave way to kissing. In the relative privacy of their corner, hands roamed freely. Desire pooling between her legs, Ashley's hands reached under the woman's shirt, moving towards her breasts. It had been so long since Ashley had touched another, so long since she'd been touched. The other Marine thrust a hand down the front of Ashley's pants, fingers working under her underwear.
With a start, Ashley grabbed the Marine's wrist, gently removing her hand with an apology. Intellectually she knew she couldn't cheat on a dead woman. And yet it still felt wrong to seek physical comfort from another. Not while she still loved Shepard. She excused herself, buying a bottle of scotch on the way out. Returning to her quarters, she continued to drink until she finally slept.
The frequent battles with the slavers helped dull the pain of Shepard's loss. The adrenaline rush and physical exertion kept her from spending too much time with her thoughts. She looked forward to fighting with a bloodlust she hadn't known before. The squads under her command racked up the highest body counts as she cleared out slaver nest after slaver nest. Soon the Batarians and Krogans abandoned the sector she patrolled altogether.
With time on her hands once more, the nightmares returned with increasing frequency.
And again, she was grateful for Captain Shepard's gift.
OoOoO
To: Captain Shepard
From: Commander Shepard
I've been thinking what we talked about. You might be right. There's something about Ashley that grounds me. I laugh more with her than I have with anyone in a long time. Or ever. And she can pull me out of dark places. Plus she knows exactly how much sugar to put in my coffee. And those shoulders!
We'll talk soon.
OoOoO
To: Captain Shepard
From: Commander Shepard
I wish we were in comms range. Had a mission go tits up. Can't say much more than that right now, but it was pretty fucked up. Unfortunately Ashley got a look at my temper first hand. I was kind of hoping to keep that in check around her. I learned she's got some fire to her, too. We had some words, and I need to talk to her later to figure some stuff out. She's so much more to me than just a conquest, but I don't know if she knows that.
OoOoO
To: Captain Shepard
From: Commander Shepard
Had a good talk with Ashley yesterday. Turns out that shit mission stirred up more than I expected. For both of us. I think we worked through it. We might even be better for it. I don't know. I do need to figure out how to say things better though. God, I can sound like such an idiot sometimes. Or all the time. I can see you nodding your head. Stop it.
Oh - and it turns out that Ashley is "a Williams." I didn't understand what that meant until she told me her grandfather was General Williams of Shanxi. She's spent her entire career trying to overcome that legacy. She's definitely ballsy to enlist, knowing the prejudice she'd face. But I love that about her. So fucking fearless.
OoOoO
Ashley's exceptional results in clearing her sector of slavers earned her a promotion to Operations Chief. Nearly two years after the Normandy's destruction, she was recalled to the Citadel by Councillor Anderson. She hoped this meant that they had finally identified who was responsible for the destruction of the Normandy and the death of Shepard, and were going to allow her to go after them.
She was disappointed when Anderson confessed that nobody had really looked for the mystery ship. Instead, he told her that there were rumors about Cerberus involvement with the disappearance of humans on remote colonies. They had information that the colony on Horizon was a potential target. Ashley would take a team there to upgrade the colony's defenses. The mission was classified, to avoid any possible leaks that might make their way to Cerberus.
It wasn't what she'd hoped for, but taking on Cerberus seemed to be an acceptable consolation prize for now.
On Horizon, Ashley spent long days doing much of the physical labor herself. She welcomed the exhaustion at the end of each day. She had barely enough energy to eat and shower before dropping tiredly into her bunk each night.
The nightmares came rarely now, although they felt more intense when they did. She wished that they'd stop altogether. She still loved Shepard, but Shepard was dead. She would have to learn how to carry on without her. And without the nightmares.
OoOoO
To: Captain Shepard
From: Commander Shepard
Well, shit. The Council grounded my ship. Fuckers.
OoOoO
To: Captain Shepard
From: Commander Shepard
Still grounded. And I think I've fallen for my Marine. She's unlike anyone I've ever known, Mom. She's seen me at my worst and still stays by my side. She's strong and confident and accepting and amazing and sexy as fuck.
Stop laughing. And stop saying "I knew it."
OoOoO
To: Captain Shepard
From: Commander Shepard
I'd hoped we could talk when you were back in comms range tomorrow, but if everything goes to plan, I'm pretty sure I'll be out of range for awhile. If things don't go as planned, know that I love you, Mom.
OoOoO
To: Captain Shepard
From: Commander Shepard
I heard your ship will be docking at the Citadel in a few weeks. I'll be patrolling out here for a bit, but I'm going to arrange to join you there. I want you to meet Ashley. And I want her to meet you. She's it for me, Mom. She's the best thing to ever happen to me, and I don't know how I got so lucky. I love her. And for some inexplicable reason she loves me, too.
I think you're really going to like her. Can't wait to see you.
