A/N: More divergence from canon. Because that stuff is boring.


Ashley had kept the rooms the Alliance had given her years before. She found that she liked having a place that was hers, and the cost of the small studio was relatively minimal. When she was required to be on the Citadel, she enjoyed the quiet of her own private space.

After wrapping up her mission on Horizon, Councillor Anderson ordered her to report to the Citadel for an in-person debriefing. Although Anderson had spoken briefly with Shepard when she had unsuccessfully sought his aid, Ashley was the one person in the Alliance who'd had an in-depth conversation with her. Just how in-depth, she planned to keep to herself.

As soon as her transport docked, Ashley dropped her bag in her rooms, changed into her dress blues and headed straight for Anderson's office. The meetings lasted for most of the day, alone with Anderson and together with the Council, as she faced a barrage of questions about Shepard's demeanor, her intentions, the people she was with, and whether she needed to be eliminated. Ashley bristled at that last. She informed the Council that Shepard just might be the only person responding to a very real threat, and that she needed to be allowed to do what she thought best.

Exhausted, Ashley stopped to get some take-out ramen and headed for her apartment. When the door slid open, she noticed that the lights were on. She reached for her sidearm, only to realize that she hadn't worn it in the Council offices that day. Setting her food down on the floor next to her, she spun into the room, prepared for any attack.

"Fuck!" was her undignified yelp as she spotted Shepard lounging on her sofa, drinking some of her scotch. She was wearing snug jeans, a lightweight white tee, and brand new brown cowboy boots. "Goddammit, Shepard. You're lucky I'm not armed."

A sheepish grin stole across Shepard's face. "Sorry, Ash. I didn't think it would be prudent to announce that I would be here ahead of time. I assume you spent your day talking about me?"

Ashley nodded mutely. She couldn't be too surprised that Shepard was aware of when she would be back on the Citadel, even if she hadn't seen or heard from Shepard for weeks. Not since Horizon. She fought the impulse to take the woman into her arms, trying to keep a clear head. Shepard seemed to intuit Ashley's state of mind, maintaining her distance. Ashley pulled a chair up near the couch and sat down.

"I am sorry to sneak up on you. Again. I wanted to deliver this in person, and I heard you would be coming here." She set a small box on the low table in front of the sofa. "Liara found this for me." Ashley could see that it was some sort of device, about the size of a deck of cards. "Think of it as a stripped down omni-tool. It's only meant for direct communication with a single paired device." Shepard pulled out the device's twin from her back pocket. "Which I have. It operates one of three ways. There's full video, audio only, or text only. The device encrypts all data and embeds it discreetly into other transmissions so that it remains undetected. The availability of the piggy-back transmissions will determine what mode will work best. There may be occasions when we can do real-time video or audio, but we'd both have to be in just the right spot for that to work."

Ashley picked up the small device. Shepard continued. "I hope you'll keep this. So we can stay in contact." Ashley could see the unspoken pleading in Shepard's eyes that Ashley would agree.

Ashley avoided the issue for now. "You've seen Liara?"

The deflection was not lost on Shepard. Her eyes flicked away from Ashley for a moment in disappointment. "Yeah. She's on Illium. She's some kind of information broker now. Turns out she's the one that, um, recovered my. . . body. God, that's weird to say. The Collectors were trying to get. . . me." Shepard shook her head, ridding herself of the conjured images of a burned, broken body. "Shit, nobody should have to refer to their own corpse." Seeing the look of horror on Ashley's face, Shepard reached across to take Ashley's hand in hers. "Dammit, I'm an idiot. I'm sorry, Ash. I shouldn't have. . ."

Ashley gripped Shepard's hand tightly. "No, it's okay. It's something I'm going to have to deal with eventually."

"You don't have to do it alone." Shepard took a chance. "Sit with me. We can talk."

Ashley stood. "We will. But first, let's eat. Ramen? I bought plenty for two."

Shepard let out the breath she'd been holding. "Sounds great, Chief."

OoOoO

After they'd eaten, they moved back to the couch. This time Ashley joined Shepard in a tumbler of scotch.

"We haven't talked about that day. I mean, we've kind of talked around it, but we haven't talked about. . . how that must have been for you. Ashley, I am so sorry that you had to see me. . ." Shepard stopped short. Floating. Can't breathe. Ashley pleading with her. "I'm so sorry."

Ashley nodded slowly, tears threatening. "I felt like a part of me died, too, Sloane." It always warmed Shepard's heart when she heard her name on Ashley's lips, but this time it also made her chest ache. She wrapped her arms around Ashley, bringing Ashley's head down on her chest as Ashley broke down. Shepard's own tears fell silently down her face, as she vowed that if she were allowed to, she would spend the rest of her life trying to ease the pain she caused her lover.

When Ashley's tears were exhausted, she relaxed a bit, and laid down on her back on the couch, her head in Shepard's lap. Shepard tenderly smoothed Ashley's hair away from her forehead, running her fingers through the dark tresses. Rough thumbs gently wiped away the rest of Ashley's tears. "God, you're so beautiful, Ash. I've missed this face."

Ashley smiled. She couldn't help teasing. "Just my face?"

Shepard laughed. "That and so much more." Shepard spent a moment looking into Ashley's eyes. Her tone turned serious. "You were my last thought. You know how sometimes you wonder what will happen at that moment, and what your last thoughts might be? I don't have to wonder. I know. And it was you. When I took my last breath, it was with thoughts of you." Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes once more. Shepard blinked them away. "I didn't want to leave you."

Ashley bolted upright, pivoting around to face Shepard. "Fuck, Shepard. I've been so caught up in my own pain I didn't even think. . . I've been so fucking selfish. My god - you died." Unlike the times she said those same words on Horizon, this was not so much an accusation as it was a sad realization. "I can't even imagine, Sloane. How can. . . how do you begin to get past that?"

Shepard gave her a sad smile, reaching out and holding one of Ashley's hands. "You. The thought of a future with you. The memory of your smile. The taste of your lips. The feel of your body under mine. That sound you make when I kiss you behind your ear. The way I feel at home with you. The hope that these things will all be mine again. That's how. You. I'm luckier than most. I get a second chance." Shepard moved her hand to Ashley's cheek. "If you'll give it to me."

Ashley leaned into the touch, closing her eyes. Confirming a decision she'd wanted to make dozens of times over the previous weeks, she opened her eyes and grabbed Shepard by the front of her shirt with both hands, pulling her onto her as she fell back on the couch. Just before she captured Shepard's mouth in a ferocious kiss, she whispered hoarsely, "You have it. You have everything I have to give. I am yours completely."

Mine, Shepard thought. She is mine.

OoOoO

Some time later, they lay in each other's arms, legs intertwined, with a trail of clothes leading from the couch to the bed. They had taken their time renewing their acquaintances with each other's bodies, giving and receiving pleasure unhurriedly and repeatedly.

Ashley's hands were slowly moving up and down Shepard's back, enjoying the feel of the soldier's strong muscles under her fingertips. "I miss your scars."

"Yeah, I do, too. I earned every fucking one of those. Now I look like some damn boot who doesn't know one end of a shotgun from the other."

"I'm sure you'll have new ones in no time." Ashley grabbed Shepard's ass with one hand. "How much of you is. . . original?"

Shepard laughed. "Couldn't say. Liara turned kind of yellow when I asked. I'd like to think a majority, but whenever I try to access the files aboard ship I get locked out by the AI. I grabbed what I could from the facility I woke up in, but haven't had a chance to analyze it all the way yet. Sometimes I'm not sure I want to know." Shepard shifted slightly to increase contact between their upper bodies, enjoying the small moan that escaped Ashley's lips.

"How long can you stay, Shepard?"

"Not long. I have a few things to take care of, and then I have to do a favor for a friend. Maybe a day or two. Three at most."

"Can you stay here with me?"

"Wouldn't that cause you trouble since you're here to report on our last encounter? By the way, I hope you emphasized that I was quick because I had to be, not for any other reason." Shepard lifted one eyebrow suggestively.

Ashley laughed. "I left those parts out. I didn't want to have Udina looking at me, picturing you and me together. . . " She shuddered dramatically, laughing when Shepard involuntarily mewled at the friction that generated against her. "By the way, just what did you say to the Council when you met with them? Tevos was pretty pissed off at you."

Shepard stopped nuzzling Ashley's ear and chuckled. "Well, after she threatened to have me executed for treason, she offered to reinstate my Spectre status, so long as I stayed in the Terminus systems. Basically it was all limitations and no benefit. So I told her to stick it up her ass."

Ashley's eyes widened. "You didn't actually use those words."

Shepard laughed. "You're right. I think what I said was 'You can take your offer and cram it up your ass.' I don't believe that was the answer she was expecting."

"Damn, Shepard. No wonder it looked like she wanted to light something on fire the whole time we talked about you."

"Do you mind if I asked what you told them? If it needs to stay classified, forget I mentioned it."

"I told them what you told me about your relationship with Cerberus. They asked if I believed you, and I said yes. I told them that you were on Horizon for the Collectors, to try to solve the mystery of the disappearing colonies. And I told them that you were the only one in the galaxy doing anything about it."

"All that, huh? Nothing about my great ass?" Shepard nibbled at Ashley's neck.

"They've seen it. They know." Ashley teased as she rolled Shepard over on to her back, straddling her. "Oh, and about staying here. I don't care what the Alliance thinks. I want you here. For as long as I get."

Shepard wriggled a bit beneath Ashley, establishing better contact. "Anything for you, Ash. I'm yours."

OoOoO

The smell of freshly made coffee woke Shepard the next morning. She rolled over to see Ashley offering a steaming mug to her.

"Mmmm. Thanks," she said as she sat up, sheet falling off her bare chest. "Sugar?"

Ashley's eyes dropped to Shepard's exposed skin. "A bucketful, as always," she replied as she reached a hand out to trace a line beneath Shepard's breast.

Shepard's eyes lit up mischievously. "I'm not going to get to drink this just yet, am I?"

Ashley took the mug back and set it down on the bedside table, pushing Shepard back down on the bed. "Sorry, Commander. I think it might just have to wait a little bit."

OoOoO

Shepard sipped her lukewarm coffee, watching Ashley dress in her Alliance uniform. "I miss wearing that."

Ashley turned back, grinning. "You haven't been discharged, you know. I'm not sure if death releases you from your commission, especially if you refuse to stay dead."

Shepard returned the smile. She appreciated that Ashley could make a joke about it. "Then they owe me a bunch of back pay, I think."

Laughing, Ashley sat on the bed next to Shepard, putting on her boots. "I'll be out most of the day with briefings and shit. Do whatever you need to do, and maybe we can meet back here for dinner tonight?"

Shepard kissed Ashley on the back of neck, "Definitely."

After Shepard watched Ashley go, she leaned back against the pillows, feeling content for the first time in a very long while.