That evening, Shepard showed up at Ashley's studio still clad in her armor, splattered with blood that Ashley hoped was not her own. The knuckles of her right hand were swollen and oozing. Her left hand held a bottle of bourbon.

"You look awful, Shepard. Do I even want to know?" Ashley immediately began helping to remove her armor, setting the messier pieces carefully on the counter. Shepard now wore only her compression shirt and briefs.

"Nope. At least everything worked out the way I needed it to, though. It's fun to play the bad cop. Do you have any medi-gel? I ran out a few hours ago."

Ashley gave Shepard's hand a sideways glance. "Obviously." Ashley rummaged through one of her drawers, coming up with a couple of pouches. "Let me," she said as she took Shepard's injured hand into her own, carefully applying the healing gel across the knuckles. "Is this where you tell me I should see the other guy?"

"You really should. Some of my best work." Ashley could only shake her head in amusement. "Mind if I use your shower? I think I still have some drell in my hair."

Ashley gestured in the direction of the bathroom with her head. "You know where to find it. Let me know if you need anything."

Shepard wiggled her eyebrows. "I can think of a few things."

Ashley smiled. "Go - wash off whatever it is you killed today."

Shepard affected slumpy shoulders and pouted her way to the bathroom. "You're the one who offered."

Ashley could only laugh as she began pulling the take-out boxes from the fridge.

Shepard reappeared a few minutes later, wearing only a towel around her waist, damp copper hair hanging to her shoulders. "Ash? I forgot to bring my bag. You got something I can wear?"

The sight of her mostly bare, not-quite-dry lover caused Ashley's breath to hitch in her chest and heat to pool between her legs. She quickly put the take-out boxes back in the fridge, and nearly tackled Shepard to the bed.

Shepard sat comfortably in Ashley's borrowed sweat pants and tee, hair almost dry, as the two finished dinner.

"Is there anything you can tell me about what you're doing on the Citadel?" Ashley asked as she put down her fork and took a sip of beer.

Shepard gave her an appraising look. "I wouldn't mind you knowing, but I don't want to put you in a bad position. The Alliance will find out we spent time together here, and they'll pull you in for an additional de-briefing. They'll want to know what I've said to you. I don't particularly want them to know what I'm doing, and I don't want you to lie about it, either."

Ashley nodded in sad understanding. "I hate that it's like this, Shepard. We've never had to be careful with what we've said to each other before."

Shepard reached a hand across the table to cover one of Ashley's. "I know. It won't always be like this." She thought for a moment. "I can at least tell you about some of my crew. I'm pretty sure the Alliance has figured out who I've got aboard ship. You've already told them about Lawson and Taylor, right?" Ashley nodded once, uncertainly. "Ash, don't worry about it. I expect that you'll follow your duty and report what you need to. Don't feel like you're betraying me. I understand. Duty, I understand."

Ashley exhaled in relief. "Thanks, Shepard. This is just so awkward."

With that, Shepard smiled broadly. "Awkward? My love, awkward is what I do best."

OoOoO

Sitting lengthwise on the couch, Shepard situated between her legs with her back against her, Ashley wrapped her arms around Shepard and continued the conversation she had started during dinner. "So what can you tell me about the crew?"

Shepard chuckled. Ashley could feel the rumble against her chest. "I'm still butting heads with Lawson. It's not as bad as what you saw on Horizon, but she has got the biggest stick up her ass most of the time. She was genetically engineered to be perfect, and can't shut up about it."

"That explains her fantastic backside, then."

"Ash! I can't believe you were staring at her ass. On Horizon. After we. . . you know."

"It was kind of hard to miss, Shepard. Does she always wear that outfit?"

"That or something like it. It can be a little. . . distracting." That earned a playful swat on the shoulder. "What? You brought it up."

"So everybody on board is Cerberus?"

Shepard carefully considered her next words. She hated that she couldn't be transparent with Ashley, but knew she'd understand. "No. I've picked up some outside help, too. You know me and strays." Ashley shifted a hand to reach for her glass of bourbon. First bourbon I've had since that bottle with Hannah. . . She shook her head to banish the memories. Shepard continued. "I suppose you'll probably find out soon enough that Garrus and Tali are with me."

Ashley cocked her head at the news. "Seriously?"

Shepard teased. "See, I'm not that bad. Next to you and Liara, they're probably the people I trust most in the galaxy. I'm glad they're with me. You already know Joker and Chakwas are there, I imagine." Ashley made a noise that seemed to confirm the assumption. "I also have a baby Krogan, a thief, an asari justicar and a merc. But I think my favorite is this badass biotic named Jack."

"Where did you pick him up?"

"Her. I broke her out of prison."

"Shit, Shepard. What have you got yourself into?"

"She was a Cerberus experiment gone wrong, Ash. She needs someone that isn't out to use her. I'm trying to be that. Once I convinced her that I wasn't interested in fucking her, we started to get along just fine."

Shepard paused, remembering when she'd had to suddenly pulled her hand out of the front of Jack's pants. It had been a mistake to let Jack kiss her, she knew that. It was before Horizon, before she knew if Ashley would forgive her, but she still didn't feel right about it. Shepard had let lust get the better of her for just a moment. Jack felt so good under her hands and lips. Jack's skin was surprisingly soft, her breasts achingly responsive. And it had been so long. . . But then she thought of Ashley. Shepard knew that she didn't really want anyone else, momentary weakness aside. Jack was pissed when she pulled away abruptly, accusing her of being a tease. It took some time to win her trust after that, but ruling out sex seemed to help in the end. They found the right balance between sexual tension and friendship, with friendship winning out. Jack was one of the best fighters she'd ever battled alongside, and Shepard needed someone like her that wasn't beholden to Cerberus.

"Shepard? Still there, Skipper?" Shepard realized she must have spent too long lost in thought.

"Sorry, Ash."

"She's that hot, huh?" Ashley teased.

"God, yes. You should see her. She's got tattoos from head to toe, and runs around practically naked from the waist up with just some thin leather straps across her small tits. And she's fierce. She'll kill you without a second thought if you look at her the wrong way."

Ashley leaned sideways to catch Shepard's eye. "Is that so?"

Shepard swallowed. "You asked," she said weakly. Then she realized Ashley was trying to stifle her laughter. "Dammit, Ash. You get me every time."

"I know. You're so predictable. I'm surprised you get anything done on that ship with all those sexy women walking around."

"It's all about the cold shower," Shepard teased back. "Cerberus has a psychologist on board, assigned to be my yeoman. I can't tell if she's supposed to be keeping tabs on my mental health or monitoring my communications. It's probably both. Either way, she's a Cerberus spy. She came on strong the first few weeks, angling to join me in my quarters, a touch here, a suggestive comment there, even offering to feed my fish."

"Your fish? You have fish?"

"I used to. They're all dead now. Maybe I should have let the yeoman feed them. But I still have my hamster!"

"Oh god, Shepard. Things are so much worse than I imagined."

Chuckling, Shepard replied, "You don't know the half of it." She stroked Ashley's arm, leaning her head back against Ashley's shoulder. "How's my mom? I miss her."

"She misses you too, Shepard. She's actually captain of her own ship now. The SSV Orizaba. Alliance tried to promote her to admiral after you. . . Anyway, she thought it would honor your memory to helm her own ship instead. You're a lot like her, you know. She's got a bit of a temper, too. She was actually kind of pissed off when I told her you were alive. She said something along the lines of, 'And why the fuck am I hearing it from you, not her?' I can see where you got your way with words."

"I'm really glad you two had each other during my. . . absence." It's still weird to even be talking about my death.

Ashley nudged Shepard off of her and went across the room to the bedside table. She pulled out a datapad. Returning to the couch and sitting next to Shepard, she handed it to her. "She was wonderful. She spent a week with me. . . after, and before she left, she gave me this. It's a copy of all the messages you sent her about me. I'd read through them when I. . . when I needed to."

Shepard's eyes blurred with tears. Thanks, mom, for looking after my girl.

OoOoO

Their lovemaking that night was gentle and deliberate. Tongues and hands meandered slowly and purposefully. Their language consisted solely of gasps and moans.

Finally feeling boneless and content, they found their way back to each other's arms, curling up against one another to sleep. There were no nightmares.