The next morning Ashley woke before Shepard, taking advantage of the opportunity to look closely at her lover while she still slept.
As she'd noted before, Shepard's body was devoid of the multitude of scars she'd earned over the years. Even the bright red scar on her hip from the Battle on the Citadel - gone. Ashley missed them all. Not just because they were a part of the landscape of Shepard that she'd grown to know and love intimately. But because it was a reminder that the woman sleeping next to her was not physically the same as the one that pulled rank and ordered her to the escape shuttles two years earlier. Do I still resent that? Part of me must. Ashley made a note to talk to Shepard about this before she left on board the Normandy tomorrow.
The faded scars on Shepard's face that she'd noticed on Horizon were now just barely visible, and only if she looked for them. She'd have to ask Shepard about those. The location of the scars was unusual; the fact that they had faded so much over a matter of weeks was even more so.
But the rest of Shepard was as she remembered her. Was how she dreamed of her. Shepard's hair was longer than. . . before. She's kept it that way after I said I liked it on Horizon. For me? Her muscles seemed stronger, without being bulkier. The shape of her fingers was the same. The feel of their touch on so many sensitive areas of her skin was exactly the same as she remembered it.
Ashley had no doubt that the woman in her bed was her Shepard. Still, she couldn't completely dismiss any doubts about what Cerberus may have done to her, though. She loved Shepard. She couldn't deny that. But she trusted Cerberus not at all, and could not be sure that they restored Shepard without making alterations they could exploit. She hoped that, with time, such thoughts would prove baseless.
Ashley contented herself with holding Shepard while Shepard continued to sleep. Ashley wondered how far Shepard had been pushing herself of late to sleep in for so long. Shepard was usually an early riser. Ashley didn't have anything scheduled until later in the morning; she could afford to indulge in some extra time in bed with her lover. Shepard would be leaving either that day or the next; she wanted to take advantage of every moment that she could.
When Shepard opened her eyes, she was delighted to feel Ashley's arms around her. She snuggled closer, tightening the arm that had been laying loose across Ashley's waist. God, how I've missed this. How I'll miss this again after tomorrow. Shepard only had a small task to take care of today, but she still planned on returning here that night. She needed one more night with Ashley. She had to tell her about the planned trip through the Omega Relay and the risks involved. Most of all, she had to spend every possible moment with her lover. She could not guess when she'd be able to see her again. She hoped that once she was done with the Collectors, she could find her way back to Ashley, this time for good.
For now, she simply nuzzled into Ashley's shoulder, enjoying the softness of Ashley's hair against her cheek. She noted with a spark of pleasure that Ashley's scent still carried metallic notes of vanilla. That spark soon expanded to a heat down low in her center, and she began moving against Ashley, fingers tracing paths around Ashley's breasts. Her lips pressed against Ashley's neck, causing the marine to stir and moan quietly. Eyelids fluttering open, Ashley quickly responded to Shepard's touches, drawing her into a hungry kiss while her hands moved along Shepard's flank.
Without anything else to wear unless she wanted to walk the Citadel in her compression briefs, Shepard needed to wipe down her armor and put it back on before she left Ashley's apartment. She didn't have the necessary equipment to properly clean and maintain it with her; she decided to return to the Normandy to do so before she moved on to her plans for the day.
Shepard did allow enough time for a cup of coffee with Ashley, followed by a quick shower. With a slightly-longer-than-it-needed-to-be kiss goodbye, Shepard promised to return well before dinner. Ashley audibly sighed in relief when she realized she had one more day.
OoOoO
Back aboard the Normandy, Shepard carefully eluded both Chambers and Lawson. She headed up to her quarters to change and take care of her armor. While there, she logged in to her private terminal. She laughed out loud at the first message she saw.
To: Commander Shepard
From: Captain Shepard
What the hell, Sloane? I have to find out my child is alive from someone else? I love Ashley, but I'd rather have heard it from you. Could have been worse - it could have been some nameless Alliance bureaucrat. Where in the fuck have you been?
I assume whatever you're doing is classified. Just stay safe out there, and keep doing your mom proud. And sneak something through a secure channel next time, for fuck's sake.
Love,
Mom
Shepard used a second secure comm tool to send a message to Liara, asking her to forward it to her mother.
To: Captain Shepard
From: S. Shepard
Sorry about that, Mom. Things aren't so simple right now. I didn't want to associate you with any undesirables. I'm not real popular with the Alliance or the Council right now. But I'm doing my best to do the right thing.
I've been spending some time with Ash, putting things back together. Thanks for taking care of her, Mom. That means more to me than you'll ever know. If you see her again any time soon, she can fill you in on where I've been the last couple of years.
I miss you. I hope we can talk soon, if everything goes right.
Love,
S
OoOoO
Shepard didn't need her armor for what she was going to do today. So she left it behind, dressing instead in jeans, t-shirt and boots. She packed a duffle with a few things and strapped her sidearm around her hips, topping it all off with her new brown leather jacket. Her worn leather jacket was just one of many things she missed from the old Normandy. As she hit the elevator, she remembered something she'd wanted to bring, and ran back to her desk to retrieve and add it to her duffle.
Still ducking Lawson, she headed back to the docking bay, eager to finish her tasks for the day and return to Ashley.
OoOoO
Shepard let herself back into the apartment. She cursed herself for not adding a few packs of medi-gel to her duffle. She didn't want Ashley to see the blackened left eye that was rapidly swelling shut. It certainly wouldn't set the right mood for what she had planned for the evening. She hadn't expected anything to get physical today, but she should have known better. To be fair, it was just a lucky punch. Normally she would have ducked right under it, but she was momentarily distracted by the sound of weapons discharging on her right. Maybe armor would have been a good idea after all. At least she didn't get any blood (hers or anyone else's) on her clothes this time. Rifling through the same drawers she'd seen Ashley find the gel in the day before, she came up empty. Damn.
Instead, she grabbed some ice from the fridge, wrapping it in a cloth and holding it to her face. Shit, that hurts. She figured a bit of bourbon might help.
And that's how Ashley found her less than half an hour later - sprawled on the couch with one hand holding the ice to her face and the other hand lifting a tumbler to her lips. Ashley gave her a sly look, pulling a handful of medi-gel packs from the bag she was carrying.
Shepard smiled. "You know me too well, Ash."
"I don't understand how Cerberus pays billions for your reconstruction and then skimps on upkeep." Ashley teased as she lifted the ice away from Shepard's swollen face. "Ouch! Don't tell me you're getting slow in your old age, Skipper."
"Hey, not fair. I was trying not to get shot without my armor on. I'll take a shiner over a hole in my gut any day." Shepard hissed as Ashley spread the medi-gel over the worst of the bruising. "Dammit."
"About these scars, Shepard. . ." Ashley began.
Shepard stumbled over her response. "Ah. Those. Seems like I've got some cybernetic implants in my facial bones, to help repair the damage from my time on the planet before. . . When I first came to, they were these funky gaps in my skin, but without any scabs or stitches." Ashley tried not let her horror show on her face. She was apparently not successful. "Oh god, Ash, why do I keep saying such stupid shit? I'm sorry."
Ashley attempted a smile. "Don't apologize, Sloane. I'm going to have to be able to deal with this." She took a breath. "So if these were open just a couple months ago, how is that they're nearly invisible already?"
Shepard tried to look reassuring. "Dr. Chakwas theorizes that the implants in my face are reacting to the power of positivity or some shit. I couldn't tell you the mechanics of it. For all I know, she might just be trying to keep me on the straight and narrow. I'd rather the scars be gone. They're not mine. I didn't earn them."
Ashley ran gentle fingertips over the faint marks. Shepard shivered at the touch. "I think you did."
Shepard took hold of Ashley's hand, bringing Ashley's fingers to her lips, kissing each one tenderly. "I don't like what they remind me of."
Ashley cocked her head to the side, considering. "Can we talk about it? About everything? Not just after. But right before."
Shepard tensed for a moment before forcing herself to relax. She was only partly successful. Filling her lungs was a suddenly a chore. "Sure. We probably should."
Ashley shifted on the couch so that she faced Shepard, holding each of Shepard's hands with her own, intertwining their fingers tightly. Taking a steadying breath, she looked Shepard directly in the eyes. "You sent me away."
That wasn't what Shepard expected. "I sent you to safety. With the rest of the crew."
"You had no right!"
"I had every right!" Shepard's eyes flared, but she didn't let go of Ashley's hands. "The Normandy was my ship. My command. The crew was my responsibility. I lost nearly two dozen crew members that day, Ashley. Once more, I couldn't save them all. I can never seem to fucking save them all. But I could save you, Ash. I could make sure you got to the escape shuttles. If it took an order to do it, I was going to use that. I don't regret it. I would do the same thing again a hundred times over, Ash."
"You pulled rank on me, Sloane. You fucking pulled rank on me."
Shepard extricated the fingers of one hand from Ashley's, using that hand to tenderly cup Ashley's jaw. "Yes, I pulled rank on you. I used the one single advantage I had to keep you alive. I couldn't bear to lose you, Ashley."
Tears threatened at the corners of Ashley's eyes as she leaned into Shepard's palm. "But I lost you."
Shepard gave her a sad smile. "Yeah, well, that wasn't part of the plan. Seemed easy enough - get Joker, get out. Didn't quite work out. I didn't expect. . ." Deep breath. "Well, I guess I didn't expect to die." Shepard's smile broadened a little. "I got better."
Ashley gave Shepard's shoulder a shove. "God, Shepard. You're the worst." Shepard was glad to see that Ashley was smiling.
"Forgive me?"
"Always." Ashley leaned in to kiss Shepard. "But only because you came back to me."
Shepard closed her eyes, pressing her forehead to Ashley's, just enjoying the intimacy. After a moment, she kissed Ashley briefly once more. "Now, can we eat? I'm expecting hours of physical activity tonight, and I'm going to need to keep my strength up."
Ashley tried to be exasperated but couldn't. Laughing, she headed for the kitchen.
