While Ashley cleared away the boxes and dishes from dinner, Shepard went to her duffle bag and pulled out something small, keeping it secreted in her palm as she sat on the couch. Ashley joined her, stretching her long legs in front of her across the low table. Shepard ran a hand appreciatively up and down Ashley's thigh. She squeezed her other hand more tightly, suddenly unsure of what she intended to do.
What if she rejects it? Or worse yet, what if it horrifies her? Fuck it. Here goes. "Ash, I um. . . I've got something. . ." Ashley looked at her in anticipation, one eyebrow raised. "Goddammit. I want you to have this," she blurted as she thrust her fist towards Ashley. "I thought you could keep it or wear it or. . . I don't know. Now it sounds kind of. . ." she trailed off as she slowly uncurled her fingers to reveal her dog tags on a long, thick silver chain.
Ashley began to reach over tentatively to take the metal tags from Shepard's hand. Shepard took Ashley's apparent hesitation to mean that she'd made a mistake. She started to close her fist around the tags. "Shit. It was a bad idea."
Ashley's eyes moved from Shepard's hand to her eyes. "No!" she said louder than she'd meant to, softening to continue, "It's perfect." Ashley used both hands to pry open Shepard's fingers and take the tags. "I never thought I'd see these again. How did you. . . " Ashley ran her fingers over the raised lettering on one of the tags.
"Liara gave them back to me." Shepard didn't need to offer any more details on where Liara got them. They both preferred to leave that part unsaid.
"Thank you, Sloane." Ashley slipped the tags over her head, pressing them against her chest with both hands. Shepard had to strain to hear her next words. "They wouldn't let me go back for you." Shepard waited, an ache building in her chest. "I even threatened to kill the ship's captain." Ashley's eyes turned downward. "But they wouldn't turn around. They wouldn't send anyone out for you." Ashley turned to Shepard, her focus sharpening. "I wanted to bury you, but I wanted these, too. Thank you."
Shepard hated being reminded of the impact her death had on her lover. She also knew avoiding it would do neither of them any favors. "I'm sorry, Ash. I'll always be sorry for. . . sorry that I left you alone. I hate that I hurt you so badly." Shepard brushed the hair back from Ashley's face. "And I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you." She kissed Ashley. It was not a kiss of lust and want and need and desire. This was a kiss of love and hope and promise and devotion. Ashley gripped Shepard by the back of her neck, doing her best to make sure she reflected those same feelings back to her lover as her lips responded in kind.
Shepard's capacity for rational thought was rapidly dwindling, so she pulled back, panting for breath. "Ash, before I strip you naked and pleasure you a hundred different ways, there is one more thing I wanted to talk to you about."
Ashley's heart was pounding in her chest, as she focused on the first half of Shepard's statement. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear anything after the 'hundred different ways.' What was that last part?"
Shepard allowed herself to smile while opening some space between them. If she didn't, she wouldn't be able to concentrate on what she needed to say. "We've narrowed down what we need to do about the Collectors, but the end-game is risky. Very risky."
Ashley felt a chill in her heart. Not again. I can't lose her again. "Shepard, no. . ."
Shepard placed a warm hand on Ashley's. "Cerberus thinks it's a suicide mission. But I don't. I've identified every possible advantage I can take to improve our odds. I have an excellent team, and some pretty amazing technology at my disposal. I'm planning on coming out with everybody I bring in. But I can't always control everything. Mostly I can't control Cerberus. So long as I can do things my way, though, I like my chances."
"What about Lawson? Is she going to be a problem?" Ashley was worried, but was trying to have faith in Shepard.
"I think she's soured a bit on Cerberus, although she's still mostly playing along with them. I think I can earn her trust with just the right amount of subtle manipulation." Ashley couldn't stifle her laughter. "Hey! I can be subtle."
"Sweetheart, you're about as subtle as a krogan in an asari gown."
Shepard had to admit she was right. But she really was close to winning Lawson over. That would be key to the mission's success. "Okay, fine. But if I can do that, I'm certain that everything will work out." She scooted closer to Ashley, placing her hands on Ashley's cheeks. "And I have someone to come home to." A teasing kiss just grazing Ashley's lips. "A very sexy marine." Shepard cocked her head to the side. "Wait. You threatened to kill a ship's captain?"
Ashley dropped her head in embarrassment. "It wasn't one of my finer moments."
"Are you kidding me? That's fucking badass! I have to say, I'm a little aroused."
"Shepard, you've been completely aroused all evening."
"True. About that. . . " Shepard pulled Ashley onto her lap, capturing her mouth in a deep kiss. Her hands went under Ashley's shirt, caressing her back. Ashley's fingers tangled in Shepard's hair as her hips began to move slowly across Shepard's.
Shepard groaned at the contact, her breath coming in ragged gasps. She pulled Ashley's shirt over her head in one quick motion, discarding Ashley's bra almost as quickly. When Shepard tried to remove the silver chain from around Ashley's neck, Ashley held the dog tags against her chest, shaking her head. Shepard smiled, leaving them in place as she ran her hands over Ashley's breasts, bringing each nipple to a hard point. She took one nipple hungrily into her mouth, sucking and licking. Ashley's back arched as her hands moved down Shepard's back to grab her shirt, tugging it inelegantly over the back of Shepard's head. Shepard reluctantly removed her lips from Ashley's breast to finish removing her shirt, moving back as soon as she was free. Her hands cupped Ashley's backside, gently squeezing without interfering with the renewed movement of Ashley's hips.
Switching her lips and tongue to Ashley's other breast, Shepard's hands slipped around to the front of Ashley's pants, opening the button and zipper and slipping a hand in to rub Ashley's wet center. Ashley threw her head back, moaning in pleasure. Shepard pulled at the sides of Ashley's pants, growling, "Please." Needing no additional encouragement, Ashley climbed off Shepard, standing to push her pants off. Shepard quickly did the same, then pulled Ashley back down on her lap. With one hand on Ashley's ass, Shepard moved the other back between Ashley's legs, rubbing along her wet slit. Ashley's hips bucked into the contact.
Returning her mouth to Ashley's breast, Shepard teased at the nipple with her teeth while slipping two fingers into Ashley, curling them forward while thrusting, gradually increasing the rhythm. Ashley's hips lifted and her legs shook, Shepard's name on her lips as she came. Shepard leaned her head back to kiss Ashley fiercely as Ashley collapsed against her. Shepard didn't withdraw her fingers completely. Instead, she pressed the heel of her hand against Ashley's clit gently but firmly, moving it in subtle circles until Ashley crested a second time.
Ashley lay against Shepard, pressing her against the back of the couch, trying to catch her breath. Shepard finally withdrew from her, bringing her fingers to her mouth. They stayed like that until Ashley felt the strength return to her legs. Giving Shepard a sly look, she slid off Shepard's lap until she was kneeling on the floor before her open legs. Shepard's breath hissed sharply above her as Shepard realized what she was doing.
Shepard's arousal was evident. Placing her hands on Shepard's thighs, Ashley dipped a tongue into her center. Shepard's hips canted upward. Using both lips and tongue, Ashley licked and sucked and tugged until Shepard threw her head back, muttering obscenities. Using her thumb to rub Shepard's hard clit, Ashley thrust her tongue into Shepard's opening, lapping at her juices until Shepard's thighs tightened and Shepard whispered her name like a prayer.
Ashley moved back up to the couch, pushing Shepard gently over on to her back and laying on top of her. Shepard wrapped a leg around her, circling both of her arms across her back. "I love you, Ash."
Laying her head on Shepard's chest, Ashley breathed her response. "I love you, Sloane."
They dozed for a short time together, gathering their strength before moving to the bed. It was their last night together for what could be a very long time, and they intended to make the most of it.
OoOoO
They lay resting in each other's arms. Shepard shifted and kissed Ashley, tasting sweat and sex and bourbon. She could feel desire stirring within her again. But before she would give in, there was one more thing she wanted to tell Ashley.
"I went back," she said hoarsely, her voice barely above a whisper.
Ashley leaned back a little so she could see Shepard's eyes. "What do you mean?" She was a little afraid of the answer.
"Alchera." Ashley tensed, but waited. Shepard continued, her voice still only just audible. "Where the Normandy crashed after it was destroyed."
"Sloane, I had no idea. . ." Ashley brushed back the hair that had fallen into Shepard's eyes.
"Hackett called in a favor, asked me to put down a memorial and collect tags. I needed to see it, Ash. Someone needed to make sure that those who were lost could be remembered. It had to be me. They were my crew." A pause. "I found twenty sets of tags. Twenty people lost their lives that day."
"Twenty-one," murmured Ashley.
Shepard barked a bitter laugh. "Yeah. Twenty-one." They lay in silence for a few moments. "If I couldn't save all of my crew, at least I could be sure that their loved ones had some peace of mind."
Ashley's temper flared, but she tried to tamp it down. It wasn't enough to keep the harsh edge off of her voice. "Fucking Alliance wouldn't let me go back for you, and then they have the balls to ask you to do that. Assholes."
"I know. But I didn't mind. I couldn't refuse. Those men and women were my responsibility. They were all under my command. I let them down. It was my duty to honor them." She paused, steadying her emotions. "I was also relieved I didn't have to pick up your tags, Ash. That would have been. . ." A breath. "That would have been more than I could bear. I don't know how you. . . when I was. . ."
Ashley quieted her with a soft kiss. "I know."
The tenderness calmed Shepard. "I found my N7 helmet. Mostly in one piece. Kind of creepy. Kept it, though." An impish grin pulled at one corner of her mouth. "You'll be happy to know that the Mako survived unscathed. That thing is a fucking military marvel. I'm pretty sure I could have started it up and driven it if I wanted to. I'm thinking of going back for it."
"Shepard, you're the worst."
"You love it."
"You know I do," Ashley responded as she rolled over on top of her lover.
OoOoO
Shepard lay in bed the next morning, tangled up with Ashley. She had cherished these three days with her lover, and dreaded returning to the Normandy and all that it entailed. The sooner I finish the Collectors, the sooner I can return home to Ashley. She smiled. She'd never considered anywhere but the ship she served to be home. Now home was anywhere Ashley was.
With only a couple of hours until her scheduled departure, she nudged Ashley awake. "Hey, beautiful. Come shower with me." Ashley lifted a sleepy head and smiled broadly. "Aye aye."
It was a long shower.
OoOoO
Shepard needed to go. She didn't want to go. She wanted to stay with Ashley. Or have Ashley come with her. Neither option was available. At least she knew she had Ashley to return to, and that made leaving almost bearable. Almost.
The two lingered as long as they dared before Shepard gathered up her duffle, kissed Ashley and then kissed Ashley some more.
"I will come home to you, Ashley. I promise." Home.
"You'd better. I love you, Sloane."
"I love you. Always." Shepard indulged in one final kiss, pausing to imprint every detail of this moment in her memory. "I am yours."
Picking up her bag, Shepard hurried away. If she didn't leave now, she wasn't sure she ever would. She allowed herself one look back, giving Ashley a smile and mouthing one final I love you. Ashley's hand moved to the dog tags hanging under her shirt, returning the same. I love you.
After Shepard was out of sight, Ashley closed her door and sat on the sofa, physically and emotionally drained. She pulled out the comms device Shepard had left for her, and composed a simple message.
S- I love you. Don't die this time, okay? I think we only got through a quarter of the "hundred different ways" last night. You owe me. -A
