Chapter Twelve
Bella cursed as she made her way to the kitchen. It almost felt like a walk of shame, not for fucking and ducking, but because she hadn't handled waking up with Edward well. The part of being in his arms wasn't the problem. It was the fact that she enjoyed it in the first place that was the issue. He had a way about him that made her want to spill all her secrets. It was something she hadn't done in a long time, and for good reason. The last time she shared a fraction of what she had already shared with Edward, had sent her ex running.
Good fucking riddance, he was an asshole.
The little demonstration in the bedroom was a warning, and a way to protect herself. If he left now, before they were more involved, it would hurt less. At least she tried to tell herself that. She had to make Edward understand her capabilities, though some would help keep him safe, others could hurt him. Before the horrifying memories of the one time she lost all sense of control had a chance to resurface, she beat them back into the perimeter in her mind, the shadowy place that often tried to overtake her if she allowed it.
It was for the best, she told herself. She didn't sound convincing, even to herself. He was like her and could understand a little of what she was going through. The little voice in her head tried to tell her that Edward wasn't anything like her, the whispered words coming from the deepest recesses of her mind. It tried to remind her that she'd fuck him up like everything and everyone had passed through her life.
She stilled in the middle of the hallway, her reflection in the glass of a framed photo, alarmed her. Dark veins bled from the corners of her eyes, toward her pupils. Her control was slipping, again. She allowed her body to relax, shaking out the tension through the tips of her fingers. It was harder than it used to be, but picturing Edward and the way it felt to be in his arms seemed to help take the edge off.
She opened her eyes to find them clear in the reflection once again.
Exhaling sharply, she walked into the kitchen, determined to start on breakfast. It was the least she could do for Edward, and she was starving. A night of ghost hunting had the tendency to increase her appetite for several hours, at least.
She started on some French toast, coffee, and bacon, humming to a new song she heard on the radio. It wasn't too long before she felt them: it was time to face the firing squad. They had given her some time to calm down after her little display in the bedroom, though a healthy dose of fear of the unknown and anger proved a potent mix in their scattered thoughts. Even as spirits, their emotions rolled off them in waves, bombarding her hard enough to stun her.
"Enough." Her voice carried throughout the room, a lethal edge in her tone.
They eased away, even the thoughts they broadcasted so loudly, were only a murmur. At the counter, with Bella's back facing Edward's ghostly companions, she checked that the cuts and bruises the handcuffs usually left behind were gone. They were still raw, so she concentrated long enough to phase her hands, wrists, and forearms. The phantom tingle reminded her of what amputee patients have said they felt even months after losing a limb.
Shelley cleared her throat, an unnecessary act meant to grab Bella's attention once again. They would learn that she would always know when they were near. If Edward didn't make a run for it, they'd get a chance to know more about her.
Her hands melted back into flesh and bone, the skin around her wrists now a soft pink, no more raw cuts. A few more phases and they would return to normal.
James was the next to try to get her attention. "Bella, uh, is it all right to call you that?"
"Oh hell," Jane hissed and Bella could imagine her eye roll. They were scared of her, for good reasons. "She's not going to bite your head off! Bella, can you give us a bit of your fucking precious time?" The anger in Jane's tone didn't surprise Bella in the least. However, when she allowed a spirit to walk all over her, it often had come with a price. One she had already paid, a lesson she'd never want to repeat.
Bella swirled around, allowing the darkness to bleed back into her eyes. They cowered away, though Jane hated how she had to step back. Bella's chest rose and fell harshly, her throat tight with anxiety. One wrong move and someone could get hurt.
"Are you fucking possessed?" Jane asked, as her lip curled in distaste.
"Watch yourself. I will only tolerate so much, talk to me like that again and I'll send you packing through the veil."
"Hey," James said, stepping in front of Jane. The girl held up her chin, but Bella saw the fear in her blue eyes before she was able to pull it back. "She's concerned, we all are. Now answer the question, are you possessed?"
She had to admit, they had balls, and Edward deserved nothing less. They heard of some of the things she'd done, what she was capable of, yet they stood up to her, all in the name of protecting someone they loved.
"That's a very good question," Edward said, leaning a shoulder against a nearby wall. Bella hadn't even heard him, having been too concerned with the others and healing herself to hide her nightly wounds. She made the mistake of looking at him. He was fresh from a shower, dressed in well-worn jeans and a rumpled grey t-shirt. "One I'd like to hear the answer to."
His words snapped her out of her Edward induced haze. Feeling cornered, Bella did what she did best. Lash out. "All of you get out."
After showering, Edward set out to find Bella, but he hadn't expected to find James, Jane, and Shelley going toe-to-toe with her. He didn't exactly blame her for being upset, three ghosts stood in front of her, trying to instill fear with their darker appearances.
He swallowed thickly, realizing Bella was serious. She delivered the words in a soft voice that was equally defeated as it was detached. Between the night before, finding each other, and the others ganging up on her, she had finally reached a point that she'd rather run than stick around.
Tough fucking shit.
"No," he said, stalking toward her slowly. "What's for breakfast?"
"Didn't you hear me?" she seethed, her lips thinning further. An incredible feat considering how full her mouth was, and despite his anger, he still wanted to taste her again.
"Kind of hard not to when I'm looking right at you," he said, kissing her cheek on the way to the coffeemaker. "What some coffee?" She huffed behind him, but otherwise, seemed speechless. He found mugs in the cabinet over the fancy coffeemaker. Once he fixed his cup, he turned and leaned against the counter.
His casual denial to her request deserved a pat on the back for actually stunning her. She'd been doing that to him since they met, it was time to level the playing field. He hummed as he drank from his cup, watching her over the rim. The darkness he'd seen in her eyes had receded, completely gone. He had a feeling she hadn't expected his reaction.
Dressed in off shoulder long-sleeved sweater and from the look of it, not much else, she was temptation incarnate. A wet dream come true for him, the possibility of exploring the chemistry between them could prove explosive. Beyond that, Edward had an overwhelming need to protect her.
The transformation from a defensive Bella, to a more vulnerable one was alarming. It almost seemed like she was another person. The sharp angles of her face when angry, softened, until what was left was a woman looking confused by new emotions.
"Can you do that again?" she asked softly, watching him warily. He cocked an eyebrow, silently asking her to elaborate. "Kiss me, please." Her back wasn't as straight and defensive as before, so why the sudden change?
Edward glanced at the others, each of them unsure and confused. He shrugged and placed his cup on the counter. As he stepped toward her, he felt the room chill dramatically, the air cackled with energy around him. The others voiced their concerns, but he ignored them for the moment, watching as Bella's eyes started to turn black again, much like Jane's had the night before.
He lifted his hands, cradling her face before pushing her against the counter behind her, their bodies flush. Her skin was scorching hot, and he felt the thrum of her pulse under his palms. Her eyes were a violent storm of fire and whiskey, but the black had diminished the moment he touched her. For whatever reason, he felt triumphant, even if he didn't understand why. She closed the distance, kissing him none too gently. Despite the audience, he couldn't help but sample her top lip with the tip of his tongue. She pulled away after a few seconds, and wrapped her arms around his waist.
"I'm sorry that I told you to go. I'm just scared." The shiver that ran through her punctuated her confession. He kissed the top of her head, his hands settling at the small of her back. "I want to tell you everything, just give me time to get used to the idea."
"We understand your fears, we have some, too. You haven't answered the question though," Shelley stated. Her attention wasn't on Edward and Bella, but on her knitting project. "Are you possessed?"
Edward hated how much Bella's body tensed in his arms. She was the first to pull away, averting her eyes.
"I don't believe I am, since nothing demonic could pass through the walls of my house." She looked at Edward and then at the others. "I don't know why I have the powers I do or why my eyes turn black like those that are possessed or spirits on the verge of losing their souls, I have a few ideas though."
"Did you want some coffee first?" Edward asked again. She told him how she liked it, thanking him when he handed her a cup. "What are they?"
The others remained in the room, but kept to other side, away from Edward and Bella.
"That maybe I'm not entirely human," she said softly, turning her attention to making breakfast again. Edward joined her and helped with the bacon. She told them how she had her DNA tested more than once, only for the samples to disappear, every single time. Someone didn't want her testing it. How that was possible, she wasn't sure. It explained why her anger about the anonymous benefactor continued to grow. They could be the reason she couldn't find answers. They could be watching her. "Or maybe that I've been cursed in a previous life and my soul won't be allowed to rest until I b-break it."
The catch in her voice was hard to hear, but accompanied with the defeated look in her eyes, it hurt like hell. Needing a moment of levity, Edward couldn't help himself.
"There's another possibility," Edward said, his lips quirking up on one side.
Bella's eyes narrowed in on him. "What's that?"
"That you were created entirely by midichlorians." He said it with a straight face and a half-shrug. Her eyes nearly fell out of her head when he started to laugh, but soon joined him. Their laughs were the kind that used up every muscle in their faces and stomachs. That was until he realized Bella turned serious, like if she was taking his words as consideration.
"I'm not the chosen one, Edward. The force is not strong with me."
"You knew that?" He looked thoroughly pleased with the possibility that she understood the reference.
"Of course I know Star Wars. You do remember Anakin was turned to the dark side." She rolled her eyes, but as she continued to make breakfast, Edward swore he could see the gears in her head turning.
"Talk to me, Bella."
"There was a note on my hospital records," she whispered, shaking her head a little. "I had no trauma, even a week after birth; a baby's body had telltale signs of his or her birth. The fact that I had none made the doctors and authorities think that someone cut me out of my mother's stomach. What you said made me think about it, that's all."
They said nothing for a while, just working together to finish breakfast.
"I just realized that you probably don't even know when your birthday is," he said, reaching out for her. He slowly slid his hand down the middle of her back, relishing on how his touch seemed to soothe her again. "Do you have an approximate date?"
"September 13th," she said quietly. "Not that I celebrate it."
He leaned toward her, trying to get her to meet his eyes again. She did, but only briefly. "Why is that?"
"I don't have friends." She turned and brushed her palm over his cheek, no doubt feeling the stubble that shadowed his jaw. Her skin was soft and warm, despite the chill to the room. They were well aware of the others, but they only watched and listened for the answers they all wanted to hear. "People don't tend to stick around, Edward."
"Which is why you try to send them away first?"
"It usually works." She turned off the stove after sliding the last slice of French toast on a plate. "There have been a lot of people that come and go in my life, there's only so much heartache a person can take. After the last time, I promised myself not to get attached to anyone."
"I don't want to be just anyone." He helped her get everything to the small nook just off the kitchen, happy to find some sunlight warming up the area through the bay of windows. The bistro table and chairs were perfect for just the two of them. "Let's eat and talk."
"Before we go back to twenty questions, we need to decide how we're handling the whole Jane's body thing," Bella scooped up some bacon, humming as she chewed. "We can't exactly tell the family what do."
"Does it matter what they do to it?" Jane asked, appearing in the middle of the table, only the top half of her body visible.
"You decided to stick around," Bella said, tipping her head toward Edward. "To make sure he's okay, but if they burn it, it could cause you to forcibly crossover."
"Oh." Jane pouted and walked through the table to hover behind Edward's shoulder. "But I'm not attached to it, I think."
"Sometimes it can still happen," Bella murmured, meeting each of their gazes, including Edward's dark green eyes. "You are all aware of the fact that being around Edward so much can hurt him, right?"
Edward's eyes widened, confirming one of her fears. There was so much he didn't know, and she hoped he'd be in her life long enough to learn a few things.
"What do you mean?" Edward asked, since the others seemed afraid to. "They're within a hundred yards of me all the time."
"Spirits can manipulate the energy around them," she said, as if it explained everything. In a way it did, except they seemed clueless. "Every time they manifest and manipulate things, like move something, they drain energy from everything around them, including you to do it."
"I know that, but I don't feel sick or anything," Edward hissed under his breath, his tone defensive. "They wouldn't hurt me."
"You wouldn't notice if it's done slowly over time," she said, shaking her head. "I've seen it before. It leads to insomnia, loss of appetite, and sometimes depression. Not to mention that this can't last forever, spirits as strong as you three can over time lose your humanity. You can become the things written in supernatural horror stories, and what you've seen Irina turn into last night. She only became what she was so fast because she was angry and she allowed it to eat way at her soul."
Edward looked at the others. He noticed over the years that they had retained their personalities from their lives, well, Shelley and James did. Jane hadn't remembered what she was like before. "How long does that take?"
"Does what take? You mean before they kill you or before they kill you?"
"Ha ha," James said, sitting beside Bella's plate on the table. They had manners of children sometimes. "You're hilarious. We've been with him for five years, Bella. If we haven't killed him yet, we won't."
"Do you ever think of hurting someone? Has there been a time that you're so damn angry that you could kill them? Has that happened more often in the last few years?" Bella's eyes landed on Jane.
"Fuck this," Jane hissed and disappeared in the blink of an eye. Bella huffed, rose up from her chair, and reached out with a transparent hand, latching onto something. Jane struggled in Bella's ghostly grasp.
"Please listen," Bella said, letting Jane go.
Edward didn't know what to say or do. His instinct was to protect Jane and the others. "Bella, that wasn't necessary."
"I'm trying to make a point," Bella said. "I'm sorry for forcing you to come back, but I need to get this out." No one said another word, and it wasn't until Edward started to eat again that she resumed. "It could be as early as tomorrow or not for another decade. You all have to face that fact that we don't know everything about the worlds we live in. I told you before that Charlie stuck around after he died, to make sure I was okay. The problem was that I wasn't for a long time and it took a toll on him. His worry turned to hate, and his anger continued to build with every rejection I got from a family. It wasn't until he forced his way into a man to try and take care of me himself that I had to send him away."
"He possessed someone?" Shelley asked, for once her knitting needles appeared lifeless as she listened. "They call it riding where I'm from," she ignored James and Jane's snorts, "Sometimes the original host of the body is completely aware, and sometimes they're not."
"What did you do to Charlie?" James asked Bella, his eyes a mix of blue and green, reminding her of Edward a little. "Was it like what you did to Irina?"
"We burned the thing she was attached to, and that was by force. That was probably gentler than when I have to force one to crossover the really hard way. For Charlie though, I created an opening in the veil that led to his next destination, I just happen to push him inside."
"What happened to the man that he possessed?" Edward pushed his almost empty plate away, any other day he would've finished it. He couldn't imagine being in Bella's shoes, despite the fact that they could both communicate with the dead. "Did he remember anything?"
"He did, but pretended he didn't and left. Never saw him again." She shrugged and rose to her feet in the need of more coffee. "We got off topic again. Okay, we need to find out if they're cremating Jane's body, but it'll be a while before we know that. For now, we stay away from your family, Jane. Alec and Tanya are too open to the possibility of you and others like you, they'd probably see you as clear as I do."
They all agreed, but Jane insisted that they call Alec later to check in on them.
Edward decided it was time to leave the house for a bit. "I know you're housesitting, any chance you're willing to meet my friend Jasper?"
"That's a good idea," Shelley stated, she was the calmest of the group. She reminded Bella a little of her grandmother.
James leaned toward Bella. "He's sort of the Giles to our Scooby Gang." Did that make her Buffy? She wasn't sure how she felt about that.
"If anyone can figure out those marks, it would be Jasper." Jane tossed her hair over her shoulder and smiled. "Wonder if he'll like my new look."
Shelley rolled her eyes, and returned her attention to her project. It looked like an afghan, in different shades of green, reminding Bella of Edward's eyes.
James coughed a few times, "Doubt it." Jane shot him a lethal look and Bella watched his eyes roll out of his head. "Damn it, Jane! They feel dirty when they fall out." He scrambled for them, trying to pick spiritual dust off them.
"Do you ever get used to this?" she asked Edward when he joined her by the sink to wash their dishes a few minutes later.
"Not really," he said. "It's never boring." He hip-checked her and smiled. "You kind of fit in perfectly." She couldn't think of anything to say to that, and a little warmth curled around her heart. No one had ever said that to her before, and she welcomed the thought of fitting in. She felt Edward shift closer, his lips kissing her exposed shoulder, getting her full attention. "Where did you go?"
"I think I'm figuring out that it'll take a little more than a few parlor tricks to get you to run away."
"I'm not going anywhere." He wrapped his arm around her waist, pressing his lips to the side of her neck. She nearly melted when his tongue slid over her pulse, her eyes rolling back in pleasure.
"Hey, Bella," Jane called out from across the room, bursting their little bubble. They stepped away from each other, their cheeks heating. It was cute on Edward. "I need to know one thing?"
"What's that?" She glanced at Edward, noticing the look of concern in his eyes. The others were huddled together, as if they'd been talking among themselves.
"If one of us ever reaches the point of no return, and Edward can't let us go, you'll protect him from us, right?"
Edward's face neutralized, though it was hard to miss the tick in his jaw. Before he had a chance to say something, Bella answered, "Yes."
"Good," Jane replied, gesturing toward the others. "We'll give you guys a few hours alone."
"Thank you," she said quietly, concerned that Edward had yet to say anything about her answer to Jane's question. They finished with the dishes and cleaned the rest of the kitchen in silence. The moment the counter was spotless and she had dried her hands, Edward reached for her, lifted her onto the counter, and stepped between her parted thighs.
Surprised by the move, she had to shake her head to counter the wave of dizziness. She'd have to warn him that for a few days after phasing so much, she needed time to recover. Once the room stopped spinning, she looked at him, but found that he gaze was on her chest or lap. His arms wrapped loosely around her hips.
"Edward?" She ran her fingers through his soft, slightly damp hair. It was hard to describe the colors, other than all the colors of fall. He wouldn't look at her. "Edward?"
When he finally looked into her eyes, the anguish in them stabbed her in the heart. "Don't hurt me."
She pulled him closer, until his forehead rested on her shoulder. "Oh, Edward." It was the last thing she wanted to do, but she couldn't make any promises.
"If you hurt them, you hurt me." He looked at her again. "Tell me you won't hurt them. That you'll do what you can to save them if they start going dark." She cupped his face, her fingers brushing his cheek and jaw. Her lips moved over his gently, it was sweeter than a mouthful of lies.
AN: Just to clear any possible confusion, Midiclorians are part of the Star Wars world. They're are intelligent microscopic life that live symbiotically within living things. In sufficient numbers, they can help detect the Force. Anakin Skywalker (aka Darth Vader) is believed to be created by the by these microscopic life. Sorry, I have SW on the brain, Edward had to say something to lighten the mood.
Don't worry, Bella isn't a Jedi.
A case is going to fall into their hands in the next chapter. I did the angry ex-wife, what next?
