The first night away from the Citadel, the nightmares started. Not the ones where she floated away in space, Ashley's desperate cries ringing in her ears, lungs burning until . . . nothing. These were new. She was in a dark dead forest, chasing after the little boy she watched die on Earth. She moved as if underwater, sounds muffled and fleeting, except for the unmistakable sound of a Reaper ship. When she finally caught up with the boy, he burst into flames and burned in front of her, his hand reaching plaintively towards her.

Shepard jerked awake, sweat dripping from her brow. "Fucking shit." She pulled off her sweat-soaked tank, throwing it into the corner in frustration and laying back on the bed to allow the moisture on her skin to evaporate. Her door chimed. Wondering who would disturb her so early in the morning, she sat and called "Come" before she remembered she was bare from the waist up.

Liara entered, catching a look at Shepard's chest before the commander could grab the sheet to cover herself. Not quite looking away, she began, "My apologies, Shepard. I didn't realize. . ."

"My fault, Liara. I should have covered up first." At least the absurdity of the situation was diffusing some of the residual tension of her nightmare.

Liara cleared her throat, moving her eyes up to Shepard's face and murmuring, "Lieutenant Commander Williams is a lucky woman."

Shepard couldn't help but chuckle. "Was there some reason you came by, other than to catch me half naked?"

"Yes. Well. I've been forwarding all the information I have on the Prothean device to the Turian councillor, hoping to convince him and the Council that they need to provide support immediately, but he insists that he won't budge until his Primarch is safe."

"I know." Shepard sagged back against her pillows.

"Are you alright, Shepard?" Liara seemed genuinely concerned.

"I wasn't exactly enjoying a good night's sleep before you came by."

"There's more to it than interrupted sleep, isn't there?" Damn, when did she get so good at reading humans? Shepard wondered.

"Yes." Shepard left it at that.

"I understand, I think. Please let me know if you'd like to talk." Liara nodded a goodbye as she moved to the door. The door hissed open, revealing a very surprised young officer. She was short and fit, with black shoulder-length hair and lovely caramel skin. Liara gave her an openly appraising look as she passed. Oblivious, the newcomer began speaking before she fully entered the room.

"Commander Shepard, we haven't had a chance to meet. I'm Comm Specialist Samantha Traynor. . ." She stopped abruptly as she realized that her commanding officer lay on the bed with barely covered breasts. "Oh, I beg your pardon. . ." Shepard noticed that the officer made no effort to avert her eyes.

"For fuck's sake. Does everybody need to come in and look at my tits?"

Traynor then seemed to suddenly realize that Liara had just left the commander's quarters. Pointing at the door and back at Shepard, she asked, "I'm sorry, did I interrupt? I thought you were alone."

Shepard couldn't help but laugh. This was turning out to be a very strange morning. "No, you weren't interrupting anything. But I think I should probably dress before anybody else shows up, though." She moved as if it get up, waiting for Traynor to turn around. When she didn't, Shepard sighed and moved to her closet to find a set of clean fatigues to wear. With her back to the officer, she dropped her sweats and pulled on her trousers. Traynor noted with approval the lack of underwear, admiring Shepard's toned ass and long legs, then realized she probably shouldn't be caught staring at the commander. "I assume you like what you see, Specialist?"

Traynor was caught off guard. "No ma'am. I mean, yes ma'am. Oh god. I'm sorry, Commander. I didn't mean to. . ."

Now fully dressed, Shepard turned around. "You should see your face, Specialist. Not quite how you expected to start your day, is it?" Traynor shook her head dumbly. "Me neither. Now what did you need?"

Traynor just stood there for a moment with a slack jaw, clearly unable to remember why she had come. "Oh! I'm Comm Specialist Samantha Traynor - "

"So you said. And?"

"Right. Yes. I'm with Alliance R&D. I was part of the team retrofitting the Normandy after you turned her over to the Alliance. I was supervising the small group on board when… when the Reapers hit. I never expected to be serving aboard a ship, ma'am."

"Relax, Specialist. What is it you came here for?" Traynor was staring distractedly at the aquarium wall. "Specialist?"

"Ma'am. Beg your pardon. I'm delighted to be under you. I mean, serving under you. Under your command. If you'll have me. I mean, if you'd like me to remain."

Shepard chuckled. "Have a seat, Specialist. Why don't you start by telling me about these retrofits?"

Traynor let out a grateful sigh, and began to brief Shepard as she originally intended.

OoOoO

Dr. Chakwas had been receiving updates on Ashley from Dr. Michel, passing them along to Shepard as soon as they came in. The first few days were the worst; Ashley remained unconscious and the prognosis was guarded. Shepard wanted to be there with her, and hated that she wasn't.

Securing the Turian primarch was much more trouble than Shepard anticipated. She hoped it was worth the effort. One unforeseen benefit was running into Garrus on Palaven. He was now happily calibrating the cannons aboard the Normandy.

Fresh off her success, Shepard returned as quickly as possible to the Citadel to resupply and change out a few personnel. But mostly to check on Ashley. Dr. Chakwas reported that she'd regained consciousness some days earlier. As soon as the Normandy docked, Shepard was at the airlock door, ready to disembark.

She was greeted in the hospital reception area by Dr. Michel. "Commander Shepard. So good to see you again. I assume you're here for Lieutenant Commander Williams?"

"How is she doing?" Shepard couldn't keep her brow from furrowing in worry.

"Very well, actually. Her rate of recovery is amazing. I'd still like to keep her here under observation, but she should be ready to return to active duty sooner than I expected."

Thanking the doctor, Shepard hurried to Ashley's private room, stopping short in the doorway when she saw Councilor Udina at Ashley's bedside. "I'd like an answer, Lieutenant Commander. The galaxy has need of exceptional soldiers like you. Now, more than ever."

Ashley could barely lift her head from the pillow. Her words were labored. "I still need time. You'll have my answer soon, I promise."

Udina turned towards the door, noticing the commander for the first time. "Shepard." His lip curled in distaste.

Shepard's jaw was tight, her eyes sparked with fury. "What the hell, Udina. Couldn't even wait until she was back on her feet? Let her recover, for fuck's sake." Udina had no response, but widened his path to evade Shepard as he left.

"Hey, Ash. How you feeling?" Shepard sat next to the bed, taking one of Ashley's hands in her own, brushing Ashley's hair out of her eyes. She leaned down and gently kissed Ashley. The gentleness of the kiss did not last, as Ashley's tongue pressed against Shepard's lips, seeking entrance. Shepard happily deepened the kiss, until Ashley muttered a muffled ouch into her mouth. Shepard flinched back, concern clouding her eyes. "Oh god, sorry Ash. I didn't mean…"

"No worries, Sloane. My jaw is still not quite fully healed, I guess. Worth it, though." Her smile was tired, but full of affection.

"You still haven't made your decision about Udina's offer?"

"I'm honored to even be offered Spectre status, but I'm not sure. I'm Alliance, Shepard. Not some Council puppet."

"Ouch! Spectre here." Shepard laughed.

"And a fat lot of good it's done you, Shepard. Hell, even you turned it down one time. There was something about cramming it up someone's blue ass, maybe? I don't mean to disrespect the offer, but I just don't trust the Council."

"Me neither. But you get a badass gun, so you might want to consider it." Shepard's lopsided grin gave away the joke.

"Are you going to tell me to take it?"

"Nope. This is entirely your decision, Love. I'll support whatever choice you make."

Ashley grabbed the front of Shepard's uniform, pulling her back down to where she could kiss her. Shepard was more careful this time. "I've missed you."

Shepard pulled back a little, looking into Ashley's eyes. "You scared the shit out me, you know that?"

"I hear you carried me back to the shuttle like some kind of fucking hero."

Shepard couldn't help but smile. "Well, first of all, I am some kind of fucking hero. And second, of course I did. You're mine, Ashley Williams. And third, who told you about that?" A pause, as realization hit. "Dammit, Liara," she muttered under her breath.

"Don't blame her. She seemed rather impressed. I admit that I am, too. Wish I had been awake to enjoy it."

Shepard kissed her again. "Me too."

"How long do you have before you have to head out again?" Ashley sighed back against the pillows.

"Just a few hours. I wish it could be longer. We have a lead on something Cerebus is looking for on Horizon, so we're heading there next."

"Will you stay with me for a bit? Maybe hold me?" Shepard quickly removed her boots and climbed on the narrow hospital bed next to her Marine, placing a light arm around her waist. Ashley pressed carefully up against her.

"Have you heard from your mom or your sisters? I know communications to Earth are spotty, but has there been anything?"

Ashley tensed. "I haven't heard from my mom. I did get one message from Sarah. She was on her honeymoon when the Reapers hit. Her husband's leave was canceled and he was called back in. She's having a rough time, worrying about him. I haven't been able to get back in touch with her, though."

Shepard nodded. "I can relate. Let me see if Liara can find anything out about them."

"Thanks." Ashley stroked Shepard's arm. "So, I found a book on my table. Tennyson. It looks very well read. With your old tags inside. Would you know anything about that?" She could feel Shepard's smile against her shoulder.

"Maybe you rubbed off on me a little." Shepard took a shaky, uncertain breath, and began to recite. "Might I but kiss thy hand! I dare not fold my arms about thee. Scarcely dare to speak. And nothing seems to me so wild and bold, as with one kiss to touch thy blessed cheek. Methinks if I should kiss thee, no control within the thrilling brain could keep afloat the subtle spirit. Even while I spoke, the bare word 'kiss' hath made my inner soul to tremble like a lutestring, ere the note hath melted in the silence that it broke."

Ashley worked her tongue against the roof of her suddenly very dry mouth. She turned her body towards Shepard, cursing the confines of the small bed. Cupping Shepard's cheek with a hand, she gazed into her emerald eyes. "My god, Sloane. That was… wonderfully unexpected." She kissed her fervently, ignoring any pain. "I love you."

Shepard leaned her forehead against Ashley's. "I love you, too, Ash. More than you know."

"Can you stay until I fall asleep?" Ashley's voice was small, tired.

"Yes, Love. Anything for you. Rest now." Shepard planted a chaste kiss against Ashley's forehead, languidly rubbing her back as Ashley drifted off.

OoOoO

To: Lieutenant Commander Williams, c/o Huerta Memorial

From: Commander Shepard

A- Sorry to have left while you were asleep. You looked so peaceful. I'll come back as soon as I can. Stay strong. I love you. -S

ps - I feel like I wasted my one grand moment of poetry. It should have led to some mind-blowing sex. Now I'll have to learn another one.