A/N: I know updates have slowed. I blame a bit of writers block, and wanting to manage the story properly. Still working on it - hopefully I'll be able to get back to the twice weekly updates soon. Thanks to all for reading. I'm nearing 15,000 views, which is both humbling and exhilarating. I hope you're all enjoying the ride.


The Normandy remained docked at the Citadel. Shepard needed to sort some things out with the Asari and Turian council members before she headed back out. For now she was limited by Dr. Chakwas to very light duty for a few days while she recovered from her wound.

As her first order of business, Shepard confirmed with Dr. Chakwas that Ashley was physically fine, even after her combat efforts on the Citadel. Wanting to waste no time, she submitted the official request for Lieutenant Commander Ashley M. Williams to be transferred immediately to the Normandy.

For her part, once Ashley was sure that Shepard was going to be okay, she left the ship just long enough to go to her apartment and pack a few things, planning for an indefinite deployment. She said her goodbyes to her sister, glad that she'd be staying in her apartment in her absence. When Ashley returned to report in to her new assignment, Shepard was occupied in the war room, so she took the opportunity to explore the new Normandy.

The first and last time Ashley had been on the Normandy was directly following the attack on Earth. She had only really seen the captain's quarters and the shuttle bay. And apparently the med-bay, but she had no recollection of that. She hadn't been on board long enough at the time to be assigned a bunk or a locker, so she stashed her gear in the medical bay with a quick hello to Dr. Chakwas, and set out to wander the ship.

The mess was definitely an upgrade over the SR1. She grabbed an energy bar, munching on it as she continued her tour. She came across Garrus in the forward battery, and chatted for a bit before he returned to his endless calibrations.

Descending to the next deck, Ashley found Engineering and had a brief reunion with Engineer Adams. She found it odd that the cargo hold door was secured, making a note to ask Shepard what was so valuable in there. The hold on the opposite side was empty, containing some discarded data pads and a few cables.

Returning to the crew deck level, Ashley was surprised to find a lounge area on the port observation deck, complete with bar and poker table. She flopped down onto a soft couch, closing her eyes for a moment's rest. Her stamina was much improved, but she still tired more quickly than she'd like.

"I'd heard we were bringing a new crewmember on board. But nobody told me she'd be a gorgeous Marine." Ashley was startled awake by the unfamiliar voice. She hadn't realized that she'd dozed off. Her eyes popped open, landing on the very attractive woman standing directly before her. "Comms Specialist Samantha Traynor," she said, with her hand extended. "But please call me Sam."

Ashley rose and took the offered hand, intending to offer a quick handshake. "Lieutenant Commander Ashley Williams."

Traynor didn't immediately release Ashley's hand. Instead, she covered their clasped hands with her other one, eyeing Ashley from beneath thick lashes. "The second human Spectre? Impressive." The last word was very nearly a purr. Ashley blushed despite herself and attempted to extricate her hand from Traynor's, but the specialist's grip was surprisingly strong. "Very nice to meet you, Lieutenant Commander. I do hope to see you again soon." Traynor's eyes traveled down Ashley's body, pausing as they reached Ashley's chest, before she looked up again. "Very soon."

Traynor's fingers trailed along Ashley's hand as she released her hold, lingering for but a moment.

Ashley was left standing alone in the lounge, speechless.

OoOoO

Shepard was exhausted, and her leg hurt like hell. Once she was done in the war room, she stopped by the med-bay for some more pain meds, and to allow Dr. Chakwas to check the wound. She noticed Ashley's gear bag in the corner, and was going to pick it up when the doctor stopped her. "No lifting today, Commander. I'll arrange to have that taken to… where, exactly?"

Shepard paused and gave the question some thought. She had been operating under the assumption that she would have Ashley with her in the loft, but now wondered if that was appropriate. It would probably be best if Ashley had a bunk and a locker assigned to her. Whether she actually spent her nights in the crew quarters was another matter altogether.

She sighed. "I'll get Traynor to set her up with a bunk and have her gear delivered there. Thanks, Doctor."

From there, Shepard moved on to the CIC. Staying her now-customary arms-length distance away from Traynor, she asked her to take care of Ashley's quarters assignment, wondering at the small smile that appeared on Traynor's lips at the mention of Ashley's name. Taking the elevator up to her loft, she asked EDI to track Ashley down and have her to report to Shepard's quarters.

Shepard began peeling off her uniform before the door even hissed closed, dropping pieces along the way to her closet. She found a snug tank and loose sweat pants, pulling them on as she made her way to the couch. She sank down into the soft cushions as an audible sigh escaped her lips. Her door chimed. "Come."

Shepard loved that her heart still skipped a beat whenever Ashley walked into the room. She began to stand to greet her, but Ashley waved her back, chuckling at the uniform pieces scattered across the floor. Ashley's heart melted as it did every time she was the lucky recipient of that one smile Shepard reserved just for her.

Ashley leaned over to kiss Shepard before lowering herself down on the couch next to her, placing a hand on Shepard's leg and resting her head on Shepard's shoulder. "I've missed this."

Shepard covered Ashley's hand with hers. "It's been a long time coming." She leaned her head against Ashley's. "First things first. I'm going to be your commander for a minute. Although my first instinct was to assign you to bunk here, that's probably not a good idea from the Alliance's perspective. So instead I've set you up with a spot in the crew quarters." Shepard could feel Ashley tense in protest. "Don't worry. I hope you don't use it often. I just needed to have the paperwork in place. Your gear has been delivered to your locker, but bring whatever you'd like to keep here with you next chance you get." Ashley relaxed again, squeezing Shepard's uninjured thigh. "If I have my way, you'll be here every night." Shepard kissed the top of Ashley's head. "After all, I need somebody more responsible than me to feed my fish."

Ashley snorted. "You sure know how to make a girl feel special, Sloane."

Shepard laughed. "If you're lucky, I'll make you feel special more than once tonight. Assuming that I can actually get off this couch at some point. Damn, I'm bone-tired." She lay back on the couch, closing her eyes. She felt Ashley rise, but was actually too weary to see where she was going. She smiled as she heard a cork pulled from a bottle and two glasses set on the table before her. She opened her eyes in time to see Ashley pour two modest measures of bourbon, handing one to her. Ashley scooted Shepard gently so she could sit behind her with Shepard situated between the legs she extended lengthwise along the couch. Shepard instantly relaxed back against Ashley's chest, sipping slowly on her bourbon.

Ashley wrapped one arm around Shepard's waist under her shirt, savoring the feel of skin under her fingers. The other held her own drink. "This is all I need tonight, Sloane. Just this."

Shepard couldn't stifle the laughter that bubbled from her lips. Ashley angled her head to look at Shepard's face. "What's funny about that?"

Shepard put a hand on Ashley's arm, fingers tracing idly across her skin. "Not a damn thing. I was just trying to think of the last time we had the chance to be together without some sort of pressing time limit. When we didn't have to worry that our hours or minutes were limited. When we didn't feel driven to ravage each other as quickly possible, not knowing when we'd see each other again. When we could just… be."

Ashley snorted. "When you put it that way… probably not since the first Normandy. So it's been… years." A pause while Ashley considered this. "Shit."

Shepard laughed again. "Shit is right. I have to wonder how I got lucky enough to have you here with me still. Despite everything."

Ashley tightened her arm around Shepard. "Easy. Because I love you, Sloane. God help me, even with every fucked up thing that's happened, I love you."

Shepard released the breath she'd been holding. "Good, Ash. Because I love you. Only you. Always you."

OoOoO

Shepard was truly exhausted. She dozed off as Ashley held her, without even finishing her bourbon. Ashley carefully woke her just enough to strip her and help her to the bed and under the covers. Ashley quickly disrobed and settled in next to her, content for now to just hold her lover close to her as she too drifted off to sleep.

OoOoO

Shepard could see the boy through the trees. She ran after him, but she moved so slowly. Sounds were muffled, a cacophony of voices with no form. Her name would occasionally rise from the susurrus. Shepard. The boy kept moving further forward the closer she thought she was getting to him. She spun around a tree, trying to keep sight of the boy. Mordin's voice echoed clearly in her ears. Then Kaiden's. Then Pressley's. Asking her why. Why she let them die. Why she killed them. She covered her ears and squeezed her eyes shut.

When she finally opened her eyes again, the boy stood before her, eyes full of recrimination. She reached out to him just as he burst into flames, the roar of scores of Reapers deafening her.

Shepard bolted upright, gulping for air, eyes wild. She was drenched with sweat, her lip bleeding where she'd bitten it. "Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Shit." Pulling her knees to her chest, she wrapped her arms around her legs and rocked herself slowly.

Ashley's heart ached at the pain rolling in waves off of her lover. She carefully encircled Shepard in her arms, holding Shepard's head close to her chest, hoping the steady calm of her own heartbeat would soothe her. Ashley didn't say a word, knowing well that Shepard would speak when ready.

"They're getting worse." Shepard's voice was thick with unshed tears.

"What are getting worse, Sloane?" Ashley ran her hand across Shepard's back in soothing circles.

"The dreams. The nightmares."

"You're still having those?" Ashley remembered the nightmares Shepard had shortly after her Cerberus resurrection. Ashley's own nightmares had fortunately all but disappeared. She had hoped Shepard's had as well.

"No. Yes. But these are new. Different. Worse." Shepard slumped against her, and Ashley lowered her back onto the bed, keeping her arms around her and Shepard's head on her chest.

"Tell me about them. Talk to me."

"I… I can't." Ashley could feel the heat of tears against her breast.

Shepard fell silent. Ashley prodded no more. She simply held her until Shepard found sleep again. She'd never seen Shepard quite so unraveled, and it pained her. It was some time before Ashley's eyes closed, and longer before she slept.