Chapter 8

SPOV

I woke with a start, my hands over my ears, my body shaking, but the echoes of the voices were still in my head and the ghosts of their faces still there.

"I am so fucking annoyed with you Stephanie" "I am so annoyed with you Stephanie, "I feel annoyed with you" "I'm annoyed that you don't talk to me"

First Joe and then Ranger each of them with a look of distaste on their faces then my mother and Lula talking together and then Mary Lou. I thought I knew all those people so well, that they were the closest friends that I had. What Joe had said upset and angered me especially as he seemed to be using the accident of my car as his excuse. Mary Lou, we hardly ever argued. Was she that annoyed that the Burg gossip got to her before I had? I didn't really know why Lula was annoyed at me, only that I hadn't taken her with me to go after Buckley. Why was she so keen to be with me when I caught my skips? I knew it got her out of filing and usually earned her some money. As for Ranger I still had no idea. I'd seen him be angry with other people, but never me. Something really serious must have happened for him to be that mad, but he should know I would never do anything to hurt him or Rangeman. As for my mother, well that happened all the time, she had always said that I was a disappointment to her. I could never understand why she could never seem to support me, always criticising what I did and trying to blackmail me into her way of thinking.I knew that tears were starting to form but I couldn't fall apart in here, not with so many people around. It was the silence that made me catch my breath, I felt so alone even with so many people around. I had to get out of here, out into the fresh air, out where I could push the dreams out of my head. I even thought that maybe someone finding me might be a good thing, at least it would end the feelings inside of me.

Sitting up, I groaned at how stiff my body felt, but then I heard the sounds from around me, several people near to me were coughing and I could hear their raspy breathing, there was snoring and mumbling, cots creaking as people moved in their sleep. So with my shoes back on I headed for the exit making sure I didn't wake anyone. A young woman sat up from the couch just by the door, putting her book down and looking at me over the top of her glasses.

"You okay, do you need anything?"

I shook my head as I stumbled to the outside door and felt relief as the cold air hit my face, drawing a deep breath into my lungs. Standing looking around me, wondering where to go I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket so taking it out I read the new message.

"What's wrong?"

"I feel so alone"

I placed the phone back into my pocket surprised when it started to ring, should I answer it, hell why not, it was probably Emci calling, she was the only one who I knew that seemed to know this number.

"I get lonely too Steph"

"How is that?"

"No one really talks to me"

"I'll talk to you Emci"

"Thank you Steph. Why are you lonely?"

"All my friends have abandoned me"

"Why?"

"They blame me for things that have happened"

"Why?"

"I don't know, I suppose they don't listen to me either"

"I like listening to you"

"Emci, the phone is low on power, I need to find a way to recharge it"

I listened as silence followed, looking at the phone in case it had died or Emci had finished the call, I actually missed hearing her voice. I felt a relief wash over me at hearing her voice, it had a melodic quality to it, soft but with no hint of an accent. It made me feel closer to someone, someone who seemed to want to hear how I felt.

"Go down the road and turn right, there's a launderette that has somewhere that can charge your phone"

"Thanks Emci"

I followed her directions and found where she meant, it was empty with lights that had been dimmed. Going inside I looked around and found a socket at the back, away from the window and anyone who might look inside. I found the charger and plugged it in with the phone pleased when the symbol showed that it was charging. Then I sat on the floor with my back to the wall and rested my head against it. For some reason I wanted the contact that Emci had offered so called her back and rested the phone to my ear.

"Are you safe now Steph?"

"I think so, how did you know about this place?"

"I looked round for it"

"Are you close by?"

"Yes"

"Can we meet?"

"Not yet, maybe in the future"

"I'd like that Emci"

"You sound different"

"I'm sorry, I feel sad"

"Why?"

"People have hurt me, but one who really matters to me"

"How did they hurt you?"

"He didn't trust me"

"Why?"

"He thinks I sabotaged his company"

"Is that where you work?"

"Yes"

"Who is he?"

Did I really want her to know his name, I mean I still had no idea who the hell this woman was, but then why not? Ranger obviously had no loyalty for me so why should I be loyal to him.

"His name is Ricardo Carlos Manoso"

"Rangeman?"

"Yes"

"What does he look like?"

"Tall, dark and handsome"

"That sounds interesting, you sound like you still like him"

"I suppose I do"

"Do you have a photo of him?"

"Yes"

Why the hell I had taken that photo I wasn't sure, maybe as a reminder, but to be honest I didn't need to be reminded by a photograph, his face and body were ingrained in my mind and not just of our last meeting.

"Send it to me"

"How?"

"Use the camera on your phone"

I hadn't realized there was a camera feature on this phone, seeing as it was so cheap, but in the dim light I captured the photo and then added to the message which one he was. I don't know how long I sat there, dozing and then suddenly jerking awake. The light from outside was stronger, my phone was fully charged and seeing as people might be coming here to use the machines, I packed my things away and headed for the door. As I moved, my muscles were really aching, probably from the kicks I'd taken or maybe how I'd slept.

As I looked outside, I could see the rain bouncing from the pavement. Another day and I still had no idea of where I was going to go. My phone buzzed from my pocket, so I answered it straight away.

"Steph, I know somewhere that will be safe for you, I'll send you the directions, but I have something important to do, so stay inside of the building"

The message came through with very precise directions to follow so stepping out into the rain I headed out. The hood was over my head and face but even after five minutes I was soaking wet, my shoes weren't designed for this kind of weather and I was starting to feel cold. The clothes and shoes I had on didn't do anything to ward off the chill seeping through me from being so cold and wet. The directions took me away from any main roads and where there would be a lot of people and it took forever to get to the destination. I was cold, wet and ever so tired.

I looked up at where I ended up at, it was an old stone warehouse that somehow looked familiar, but I knew I'd never been down in this area of town, I had absolutely no idea where I was. The entrance that Emci told me to go in through was down the side of an alley and finding the big brown door I used the large round handle and opened it. I cringed at the squeaking sound it made but slowly walked inside, pushing the door closed behind me. Only silence greeted me but for the first time in forever I actually felt safe.

It was a strange place once inside. I was in what seemed like an entryway with four doors leading from it. The first door opened up into a room that had the remains of furniture inside, a couple of chairs and an old desk sat on a linoleum floor that had scuff marks and dirt embedded into it. I left that room and tried the door opposite finding a large but empty room, there were old notice boards on the wall but there was nothing on them now and the color on the boards was fading.

The third door was locked so I went to the last door finding a flight of wooden stairs. Holding the bannister I walked up slowly surprised when I found myself in a large open space. It was almost as if this space had been a living area, an old couch sat in the middle of the floor with a small table and lamp next to it. To one side of the room were old cabinets that could have served as a kitchen. I was amazed at how light the place was even though the windows looked grubby. A door led into a bathroom that had definitely seen better days but when I turned a tap, I was pleased to see water come running out.

Back in the lounge area was another flight of stairs that led up onto a second floor, two doorways were open and in each I could see old metal beds and old cabinets. The light in these rooms came down from windows in the roof and each had their own bathroom, again not brilliant but the feeling I had being in here was, I don't know, right. I could imagine this place done up nicely and strangely there didn't seem to be any evidence of vandalism, the walls while grubby were intact and the wooden floors seemed solid.

I walked into one of the rooms, not really sure why that one, maybe because it was larger and lighter, and looked at the single bed. If I ignored the dust and dirt I could rest here for a while. I was still wet and cold so laid down on the old covers and tried to get comfortable but once my head hit the mattress a calm feeling came over me and I soon allowed myself to drift into sleep, praying the dreams would leave me alone.