Send help. I can't stop writing.
If I can manage two chapters in one night, imagine how my time will be spent tomorrow with a day off work!
Again, any improvements or ideas, please let me know!
JL x
Despite the facade she wanted to keep in place, Jay couldn't prevent the look of intrigue that seemed permanently plastered to her face as she was led out of the hanger and down a seemingly endless maze of corridors. She was still latched onto Ren's arm as he navigated her through the ship's interior, though she suspected she was still permitted to hold his arm as part of their performance, and if there were no other personnel around he would have long-since dropped her hand.
She had no idea how he managed to find his way from the hangar they had arrived in to wherever it was they were going, every corridor and every room they passed looked identical to Jay. Perhaps he was leading her in deliberate circles to confuse and disorientate her, she wouldn't have put it past him. It was still deeply-rooted in her mind that she was a captive inside these walls, nobody had told her otherwise and it had been her assumption from the moment it was announced that she would be brought here.
Led into one of the brightly polished turbolifts, Jay and Ren found themselves alone for the first time. Their entourage had slowly splintered off during their journey, each member of their party returning to their usual stations and duties, until the pair were the only two left. Ren pressed a button on the panel to his right and the doors closed swiftly behind them, the lift silent apart from the quiet humming of its movement through the many floors of the vessel.
"I know how you must be feeling"
The sudden voice made Jay jump, not that it was spoken loudly, it was just completely unexpected. She turned around to see Ren, mask removed and watching her closely, obviously choosing his words carefully.
"I'm sorry?" she asked, entirely confused and not having taken in his statement fully
"You're afraid, confused, lost. I know, I can see it in your eyes. Your display in the hangar, it was a performance, though I'll admit it was a good one. You played the part of confidence perfectly, but I can see, your eyes, there's panic written in them"
Jay couldn't believe what she was hearing. He was evaluating her, but why?
It took her a moment to take in his assessment, perhaps she hadn't been hiding her apprehension as well as she had thought. Or had he been digging around inside her head? Would she even have been able to feel it if he had?
She swallowed before replying to him, he watched her intently, waiting for a response, a confirmation of his assumptions
"Wouldn't anyone feel that way?" she started, "Would you expect anyone to be taken from their home, paraded around in front of the First Order and married off to one of their most notorious leaders and feel happy about it?"
Ren studied her for a moment, taking her words in.
"Are you unhappy?"
What kind of question was that? What was she meant to reply? Should she bring out her sarcastic side and announce to him that she couldn't be happier right now? Perhaps tell him straight that she feared for her life and her sanity at the prospect of a future with him?
In the end she couldn't think of a response that wouldn't anger him, and she didn't want to risk that. So she simply turned back towards the doors of the turbolift, her head dropped a little lower than before as she focused her sight on the base of the doors and ignored his question.
A long pause followed, accompanied only by the humming of the lift mechanisms.
"There's no reason for you to be"
Again, he spoke.
She couldn't help it, she turned to look at him again, and he looked deeply into her eyes with his own darkened ones
"You shouldn't be unhappy" he stated. "This new life may not be what you're used to, but it will be comfortable. You will be served by the First Order, well taken care of, and respected above almost all in the galaxy. You have a vital part to play, to be a model for the Order to follow. And I consider myself lucky, I had no choice in this matter, much like yourself, no intention of ever connecting myself to anyone in such an intimate way, but for the sake of the Order we must perform our duties. You know that"
Jay stared incredulously at the man before her, she had never imagined him to be so... encouraging of the plan they were to play out. She didn't have time to say anything before he continued
"I am not an emotional fool, I do not bear my soul to anyone, and I could never swear to open my heart to you or anyone else, but as this marriage is to take place regardless I will do my best to be an honourable husband and treat you with respect, if you will do the same for me."
At this moment the turbolift came to a halt and the doors opened, and just like that their conversation was over. Jay barely had time to process her surprise before he had swept past her and through the open doors.
Not bothering to offer his arm again he led her down another corridor and came to a halt before a pair of white double-doors. He pressed his hand to a panel to the right of the doors, and they rushed open, revealing a large, sanitized living area. Signaling for her to cross the threshold he stayed in the corridor.
"These will be your living quarters, you are not to leave them without my knowledge or express permission, this is a measure put into place for your own safety. In your rooms you will find a number of your personal possessions that have been sent to us by your staff..."
Jay felt a pang of loneliness when she realised he was talking about Pru, whom she would likely never see again
"...you may arrange these however you like. You will find reading material to keep you occupied, if you require anything there will be a guard complement stationed outside these doors continuously. Meals will be delivered to you regularly. I will speak with you again several times before our ceremony, but for now I have duties to attend to. Excuse me"
And like that, he was gone. The doors closed silently as he walked away and Jay was left standing in her living area, speechless.
She was still trying to process what he had said in the turbolift. He talked of not promising to open his heart to her, which was fair, she wasn't exactly sacrificing hers to him quite yet either, but did that mean he had a heart to give? Was he talking about the possibility that one day he may actually learn to love her?
Jay shook the dangerous thought from her head quickly. No. She couldn't get ahead of herself like that. If she even entertained that idea for a moment she would only be disappointed when she witnessed further down the line that he really was as cold and cruel as his reputation painted him to be.
She decided to cast Kylo Ren from her mind for a while and focus on organising her belongings. While her rooms were indeed large and not unpleasant, they were still too clinical. They needed a touch of home. She walked through into the next room and found a large bed placed in the center against the far wall, covered with plain but plentiful white bedding. She was slightly happier to see that she had been provided with a thick quilt, not just thin sheets as she imagined there would be, and numerous soft pillows.
Jay was relieved to see that her rooms would be much less like a cell than she had worried about.
Glancing inside her large wardrobe she saw that a number of her fine gowns had been delivered and put away neatly for her, in the chest of drawers beside she found her undergarments and more casual attire. It looked as though most of her clothes had followed her there.
Placed on the bed were four large bottle-green suitcases, her own. She had no idea what Pru had packed for her but knew that she would have considered every detail and chosen every item that meant something to Jay.
Opening the first she saw a collection of trinkets, cultural decorations she had collected from her travels to other worlds. She gently ran her fingers over them and sighed, she had adored those journeys. Everywhere she had been she had purchased something that woud remind her of her time, whether it be a necklace, statuette or woven decoration, they helped her to remember as she was locked inside her palace that there were so many other worlds and creatures out there, and that each one was a wonder.
Jay decided she would make a display of her items on the shelving built into the corner of her lounge, but later, after she had settled in a little.
In her other three cases she found various items, jewelry passed down to her through several generations of her family, old photographs of happy moments of her childhood and the friends she once knew, and books that had become severely earmarked and were almost falling apart in her hands, her favourite stories that she had come back to time and time again. She was so grateful to Pru for thinking of everything, the girl knew her so well and had really tried to ensure that her experience on board would not be a completely miserable one.
After emptying the cases one by one and settling on her sofa with one of the books Ren had mentioned were for her, Jay was startled by the chime of her doors announcing a visitor. Opening them she found a young man, no older than twenty years, holding a tray of food for her. She thanked him with a smile and walked back to her sofa, placing the tray on her low living table and unveiling the contents.
She had no idea whether the meal had been specially prepared for her or if it was a standard issue meal, but it looked delectable. Slow-roasted meat and fresh salad, sauces, desserts, drinks. She wished she could have stomached it, but her appetite still wasn't back to where it should have been. Frustrated with herself, she picked at the salad and took a few sips from a glass of sweet-tasting water.
She had no idea of the time but could only assume that it was getting late as she turned to the eighth chapter of her book. Picking up the glass of water she took herself and her book to bed.
Stripping out of her fine gown and undergarments, she decided against wearing nightclothes, it wasn't as though anyone would be coming to disturb her. She doubted that Ren would even see her in the next few days. She slid under the cool coverings of her quilt and marveled at the comfort of her pillows and mattress, hoping she would finally enjoy a peaceful night's rest at last.
As she lay and began to feel herself drifting, she couldn't help but think of Ren again. After all the malicious and terrifying stories she had heard about him, she had expected him to be quite different. Of course, he was still a terrifying man, that much was clear, but he had not yet tried to instill that terror into her, he had even tried to calm her fears of their future together and convince her that she was in no danger.
Jay rolled to her side and tried to get the image of him out of her head, but every time she closed her eyes she saw his, those dark pools searching her soul, looking for answers to his questions. Again, she thought, he wasn't bad looking, she was lucky in that respect. He projected an air of mystery and power, he intrigued her, she desperately wanted to learn more about him but the likelihood was that she had a long road to walk before she really began to know him, unless by some miracle he actually wanted to show her.
Unlikely.
Starting to lose consciousness and mindlessly wondering how such a formidable man appeared to have waves that looked softer than her own brushing his shoulders, she felt a calming presence inside her mind, as though two large, warm hands were gently massaging her head, holding her mind secure with a comforting pressure, cradling her memories and caressing her thoughts.
As she was so close to sleep she thought nothing of it, and accepted the pressure as her mind relaxing into a much-needed restful sleep.
What she could not see was that just three rooms down from hers, Kylo Ren was reclined on his own bed, his head resting on the arm placed behind him and against his headboard. He breathed deeply and reached out gently with his own mind, exploring her thoughts about him. He saw her mind's eye turn to the deep colour of his irises and the soft layers of his hair, and the feeling of contentment she felt when she remembered his words to her in the turbolift.
He shook his head and cleared the memory, searching deeper but softly so as not to wake her. He wanted to know more about her past, see her memories of home. He wanted to know her.
In the dark and quiet of his room, he delved deeper.
