We're going to take a sprinkle of positivity and throw it into tonight's chapter

I hope none of this is too mushy for Kylo's character

JL x

Almost jogging to keep up with his long strides, Jay followed Ren through the identical, endless passages until they reached a large room filled with grey tables and matching dining chairs, all neatly arranged and in perfect formation. Ren walked over to one and pulled out a chair for her, dropping himself into the one across the table.

She followed his lead and placed herself opposite him, folding her hands in her lap and watching him. He seemed to be contemplating his next move.
Flicking his eyes upwards to meet hers he gathered himself and interlocked his fingers, placing both hands on the surface in front of him. Leaning forwards and focusing his attention solely on her, his voice was low and confident.

"I don't think we should have started off like this. Neither of us is telling the whole truth, and if we're going to survive being thrust together like this we need to be honest from the start. I want to make the best of the situation we've been handed"

Jay observed him with apprehension as he continued

"I am not completely heartless, despite what you know of me. I want the same as you do, to make this as easy a transition as possible, experience this with someone beside me that is being forced through the same circumstance and can understand its hardships. I want to be..." he paused, searching for the right words, "closer to you"

He finished on an uncertain note, obviously not knowing whether he'd made the correct choice or not.

Jay watched as he took a breath and gathered himself

"I saw your childhood"

What?

She blinked rapidly and tried to grasp his meaning. Her childhood? How was that even possible. She couldn't accurately guess his age, but she knew it was somewhere around her own, perhaps a couple of years older. How had he witnessed anything of her past?

Then it struck her. The nagging feeling in the recesses of her mind that he'd somehow searched her memories, the reason she woke up gasping for air and perspiring, the way he'd hinted at her parents true personalities.

Seeing the look of realisation enter her eyes Ren quickly continued

"I had no intention of searching for anything, or diving in without your permission, I didn't want to start off like this, but as I found time to relax this evening I felt something pulling me in, something attracting my attention. I didn't know what it was, I'd never felt it before. It was as though something was beckoning me forward, whispering my name and attracting me. When I realised it was you I paused, I didn't want to break into your mind and start rooting around but I couldn't help myself. I saw myself, only images and how you felt about things that I'd said, I was just curious, I wanted to see what your impressions were. When I started looking for more on myself other images came to the surface, it was like reading a book, then the unpleasant memories started to show. I didn't see many before you awoke, but enough"

Ren stopped his reminiscing and looked across the table to the pale face watching him.

Jay was at a loss for words, she'd been right. All of the paranoia, it was justified, but she couldn't find the will to be furious. She knew that she should have been, she should have pushed back from the table and screamed at him, he had violated her in an unimaginable way. Her mind was hers, and hers alone. He had no right to start poking around in there while she slept, oblivious to him.

But as she looked closer at him her breath caught in her throat. She could see it in him, the way that he sat, head bowed slightly and eyes nervously glancing between her face and his own hands. She'd only really seen chastised children fold into such a defensive position. He was ashamed, she could sense it in his posture, his restless fingers, and in his eyes.

She couldn't place why she kept tracking back to his eyes, they just held so much emotion. She saw so much in them, regret, shame, embarrassment, all of which had no place in the visage of the mighty Kylo Ren.

Yet here they were, clear as could be in the eyes of an apologetic young man.

She was astonished. He really hadn't meant to invade her in such a way, she could tell.

"I'm sorry, I wish I could have resisted, but I didn't even try, I was so enthralled by what I saw, too curious"

The silence was broken as he spoke, quieter and gentler than before.

Jay met his eyes again and let a calming breath out

"It's alright" she began, "I think I knew, I just thought I was overreacting. I can't understand the feeling that pulled you in like that but I do understand that you didn't choose to react, it just happened"

Ren's attention fully placed on her, she carried on

"I know what you saw inside my head, and you're right, I chose not to tell the entire truth about my past. You know already of course, my mother and father never showed any sign of affection towards any of us, we were traders goods, polished and paraded while trained to submit. They are brutal, violent, sadistic creatures, and you know I despise them"

She took a deep breath

"But that part of my life came to a close yesterday, I won't dwell on a lost childhood or a twisted family structure, there's no benefit. I want to move forward, like you said, to make the best of a fate chosen for me, and for you. I may not have the future I would have chosen and I may never gain the love I once craved, but I can build a better destiny than I would have otherwise had"

Shocked at the familiarity and ease she felt in talking to him now, Jay looked back at Ren and saw that he was slowly and almost imperceptibly nodding his head. Suddenly he reached his hand across the wide table and held it, palm upwards for her. Unfolding her hands in her lap she hesitantly brought her right one to the table surface and lightly placed it in his, he gripped it gently and leaned forwards as he spoke

"Jay"

It was the first time her name had graced his lips, and she felt a warmth spread through her at the sound

"As I've already told you, I can't ever promise that I have a heart to give you. I'm not experienced in the feeling of love, or even fondness, it's an alien concept for me and I don't know if my mind will even allow me to feel anything like it, but I can promise that I will work through this with you. This will not be an easy road, not for either of us, but I swear that I will do all that I can to support you through it, if you'll allow me to"

Jay didn't need to think twice before answering

"I will, of course I will, and I will support you too, this needs to be as pleasant as it can be for both of us"

Ren nodded and treated her to the small quirking upwards of the corners of his mouth before standing from his seat and letting go of her hand

"We should return to our rooms, it's getting far too close to the morning shift"

Jay followed him as he led her out of the room and back down the procession of corridors they had passed through on their way here. As he walked before her she watched his body enter a comfortable walking rhythm and focused on the side of his face which his hair would reveal briefly with every second step he took. She still wasn't entirely sure what to make of him, but she had seen a completely different side of him to his universal portrayal tonight, and she was beginning to think that she might actually grow quite fond of him, in time, though she was sure she would still see his temper appear regularly, he was the infamous Kylo Ren after all.

They arrived at her guarded doors, and he turned to her again

"Well, I hope you manage a better sleep than you did before, I'll try not to rifle through your thoughts as much while you're sleeping"

Again, that tiny smile

"Or at all, if you can help it" she responded with amusement written on her own face. "Goodnight Lord Ren"

Ren opened the doors for her, and she stepped inside

"You should start calling me Kylo, I would think that you refer to me as 'Lord Ren' during our wedding vows might damage the positive, loving image we're meant to be projecting" he said, his light smile still in place

"Of course, goodnight Kylo"
Her quarter's doors closed as he turned away, and she made her way back to her bed, still smiling. Stripping back out of her night gown and draping it over the chair in the corner she climbed back under her heavy quilt and breathed a sigh of relief, talking to him tonight had dissipated a tiny portion of the fear she'd been holding for weeks.

Perhaps she had a chance, the most microscopic chance, of finally finding that love and companionship she had wanted for so many years. It wasn't clear yet, but something was there.

In the comfort and peace that his darkened quarters brought him, Kylo Ren sat in his cushioned armchair thinking exactly the same.