Chapter 49: Asking Forgiveness

The door opened a small bit and a two barrel shot gun was pushed through the opening. "Get off of my property or I will shoot you" His gruff voice said out loud and it made bloody tears well up in my eyes.

"Please…Jackson call Alcide. I need help, please dad" I stumbled through my words and heard the gun fall to the ground and the door was ripped open.

"My God…you are back" Jackson said as he fell to his knees and cupped my cheeks.
"Please…get Alcide…" I begged of him as I felt my eyes shut, knowing that the sun was rising.

The next time I felt myself wake up I heard a shrill voice close to my ears which made me frown and try to cover my ears.

"Do you know how many months back she was turned?" the voice asked and I frowned more as I sat up. "Three days ago…I was turned three days ago" I said and looked at Jackson and then at Dr. Ludwig.

"That's impossible my dear, your Hep V is so progressed it looks like a few months old" she said to me and I shook my head at her. "Nope three days" I told her and watched as she huffed and turned to her bag.

She pulled out a bottle of New Blood and held it out for me. "I can't drink that, I just throw it back up" I told her but she gave me a glare and shoved the bottle into my chest.

I sighed as I opened it and drank half of the bottle. Dr. Ludwig frowned as the blue veins on my chest and arms spread further just as I felt my stomach churn and rushed to the sink, vomiting all of the blood back up.

"See, it doesn't work for me" I grumbled out at her. "That is just weird, I have never seen that happen before. Frankly my dear I am sorry, there is nothing I can do. Unless you know how to get the real antidote, but we all know that is long gone" she said and packed her bag up and left quickly.

"Dad, when will Alcide get here?" I asked him and watched as his eyes darted away from my own. "What…what is it?" I asked as I stood up and walked over to him.

"You've been gone so long…we looked everywhere…" Jackson said and I frowned at him.

"I have only been gone a few days…what are you talking about?" I asked him, fearing the answer.

"No, you've been gone for just over three years. Alcide looked everywhere, he went crazy trying to find you. But he needed comfort, him and Sookie got together. But with the crazy Hep V vampires…I'm sorry, Alcide is gone" Jackson said and I felt my undead heart stop and break at the same time.

"No…you're lying. This is just a joke, right?" I said out disbelievingly, walking past him and out the door. "Where are you going?" Jackson asked me.

"I'm going to our house. I'm going to tell Alcide that this is not funny!" I growled out and stalked forward.

"He's dead! Alcide died helping Sookie. He won't be there…" Jackson called out and his words brought me back down to my knees again. Now everything made sense. The New Blood, Fangtasia…

I sobbed out my grief as I knew that I would never see Alcide again. I just got married to Alcide a few days ago, but to the rest of the world that was years ago.

"Please…" I begged out as Jackson came towards me, helping me up. "What…what do you need?" he asked me and I clung to him. "Shoot me please, please…" I begged him and saw the sympathy in his eyes.

"Let's get you inside." Jackson said as he pulled me up and into his trailer. He sat me down on his couch, I curled up and kept crying bloody tears. Muting the rest of the world around me.

I woke up hours later and saw that it was night time again. Sitting up I could hear Jackson in his room talking to someone and with my vampire hearing I could hear every word he was saying.

"Please, his wife is back. And the New Blood is not working for her. She's going to die, and I can't let that happen. I know you know that there is a place, and I am guessing where but I need you to confirm that for me before I take her there. Yes, yes…thank you. I hope everything is fine with the baby. Good, good. Alright, thank you" and then he hung up.

So it wasn't all a dream. Alcide was dead, my husband was dead and I am a widow. If only I hadn't given up my powers I could have brought him back to me, I could have saved him.

I felt tears streak down my face but quickly wiped them away when I heard Jackson coming towards this side.

I quickly sped out of his trailer and just went to sit down on the grass staring up at the sky. This was my punishment for leaving Alcide, if I just stayed I could have stopped everything. Even though I was a vampire I never felt more powerless in my life.

"There you are" Jackson said behind me and I sighed as I turned back to him.

"Does Alcide have a grave?" I asked him and watched as he nodded. "Where?" I asked him and he looked at me with sadness in his eyes. "I'll take you there" he said to me but I shook my head. "Just tell me where" I asked him and nodded as he told me what plot Alcide was in the cemetery.

Shooting off I was quickly kneeling down by his grave. I looked at the words lined there, saying he was a great leader and it was a tragedy to lose him this soon. His family, friends and wife would miss him.

I sobbed out as I felt my heart clench from the thought of never seeing him again.

Not knowing for how long I sat there, I knew at some point it started to pour with rain and thunder lighting up the sky. I was laying on my stomach staring at Alcide's name. Alcide died just under two years ago. I was gone for three years. Alcide looked for me for years, thinking I just left him.

"He never thought that" I heard someone say behind me and when I turned over to look for the person I saw Janice standing there looking at me.

"Never thought what?" I asked her while still laying down on the muddy grass. "He never thought that you just left him. He spent hours, days looking for you. He made the whole pack look for you, he even went to vampires, thinking they took you. And through all of that he never stopped loving you. When him and Sookie got together, I knew he was just looking for comfort and I knew with her he was going to get hurt." She said to me and I sat up staring at her.

"I'm sorry, if I never went to help him I could have stopped all of that" I said to her but she shook her head and pulled me up, taking my hands in her own.

"No never blame yourself, things happen for a reason. And I know for a reason that Alcide would want you to be happy. And whatever makes you happy you should do it" Janice said to me and I nodded and turned back to the grave.

"I'm so sorry" I said to the stone grave and kissed the top of it as I felt another tear run down my cheek.

"My dad told me you were turned three days ago…but where were you?" Janice asked me and I sighed as I looked back at her.

"You know that I was a Nephalem and I was repaying a debt. Time works differently in hell. For me it was three days not three years. Three fucking days!" I cursed out as I felt more sadness settle over me.

"I'm sorry…" Janice said to me and I shook my head at her.

"No I'm sorry, I can never bring him back to all of you. I'm going to head back to Jackson, I'll see you around" I said to her and smiled at her as I sped off.

I was running through the woods back to Jackson's trailer when I stopped dead in my tracks at a pair of yellow eyes staring at me. I stared at the wolf standing before me and looked at it carefully it looked just like…

"Alcide?" I asked out loud and right after I did the wolf bowed its head and came walking towards me.

I kneeled down staring into its eyes and I knew it was him. "Alcide I am so sorry. If only I could have been there…I shouldn't have gone" I said to him and closed my eyes as I felt the wolf lick the side off my face. Right at that moment I knew that he forgave me.

I placed my hands into his fur on his neck and smiled leaning into him and I swear that I could smell him.

I really missed his smell, that is all that I could think of.

I opened my eyes and looked around but the wolf was gone. I grabbed my stomach as I felt a cramp hit me right before blood came spluttering out of my mouth. Whatever this Hep V was, it was moving quickly through my body and poisoning me.

I stood back up and made my way back to Jackson, seeing him waiting outside for me.

As soon as he saw me he leapt up, wiping the blood from my mouth. Looking worriedly at me, I shook my head at him.

"He forgave me… Alcide forgave me for leaving" I said to him and he nodded at me. "What did you do to yourself?" Jackson asked while looking at my muddy appearance.

"I was with Alcide" I replied to him but he only smiled and shook his head. "Get in the shower, and I'll get you some clothes" Jackson said and I nodded at him as I walked into his trailer and into the shower.

As soon as I was done, I saw there was some clothes for me on the sink. I quickly pulled them on along with a grey hoodie. As I stepped out I saw that Jackson was dressed and waiting for me.

"What's going on?" I asked him and he motioned for me to sit down. "I need to take you to a place where you can get there real cure. It will take it away completely" Jackson said and I shook my head at him.

"No I'm not going. If I die then I die" I said and sat down on the couch.

"Alcide would want you to live" he said and I glared at him. "You had more than a year to deal with his death, I only had one day so far! I just came back from what I thought was three days but I turned out to be three years! So I am so sorry if I want to die, just to join my dead husband!" I yelled at Jackson and as soon as the words left my mouth I felt regret for yelling at Jackson.

It wasn't his fault, it was mine for leaving.

"I know that, but Alcide wouldn't want you to suffer like this. He would want you to get all the help that you can" Jackson said and I knew that he was right. But I still didn't feel right about it.

"Please just get the help, I can't lose you too" Jackson said with tears in his eyes, which made tears well up in my own. But when mine fell it was bloody streaks down my face.

"It feels like all I have been doing these few days are crying" I said to him and Jackson bent down to give me a hug. "Please can we go and get it?" Jackson said and I nodded at him.

"Where is this place?" I asked him and from the look on his face I knew that I wouldn't like it. "I will do all the talking, just put your hood up and look down the entire time" he said to me. I frowned at him but nodded none the less and pulled my hood up and over my face.

The drive was a bit long and when we pulled up my eyes widened and I shook my head.

"No, no I am not going in there" I told Jackson as I turned to him.

"That's why I saw keep your hood up and look at the floor. This is the only place with a cure, you need to get this" Jackson said and I frowned, not knowing what to do.

"Fine, but if he asks too much for the stupid cure we leave…" I said to Jackson and before he could reply I got out and waited for him to lead us inside.