A/N: Hi, everyone! Your reviews about Lana and Oliver had me rolling on that last chapter lol. I know it's been a while but I wanted to take the time to update this.

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SEVENTEEN

We Wander

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Dreams of a woman Lana didn't quite remember plagued her at night. In her dreams this woman would embrace her closely, her lips kissing almost every inch of Lana with a passion that left her terrified upon waking. Nonetheless, there was a feeling of strange nostalgia and little by little Lana began to realize that she had lived the dreams before.

They were familiar yet so alien to her. She couldn't make sense of it- or rather didn't want to make sense of it. The dreams terrified her, they confused her and left her with never ending questions she couldn't bring herself to ask Oliver. Lana was understanding, or better yet, remembering why she was in Briarcliff. Those strange feelings and thoughts she often had about the same sex were becoming clearer. Still, Lana's mind was a mess and she struggled to remember her life before Briarcliff and before Oliver.

She just wanted normality and she realized being with Oliver granted her just that. So when she woke from another feverish dream of canes upon bare skin and screaming nuns she went in search of Oliver.

Lana found him fast asleep in his bed; his back to the door. Lana didn't hesitate and closed the door behind her. She searched for the safety his presence provided and carefully crawled into his bed like a terrified child. From beneath the covers she pressed her body to his, snuggling her forehead against the back of his neck, inhaling the remainder of his cologne and his personal scent hidden behind it. He wore only pajama pants, no shirt.

He smelled, well, like a man and yet his skin was soft. It was the only way she could describe it. But still...Lana realized she liked it. Everything about him was comforting. Everything was safe.

Lana opened her eyes in the darkness. She could feel his back gently moving with his soft breathing. Too afraid to wrap her arms around him, Lana scooted closer to him, hands to her chest. She closed her eyes once more and drifted to sleep.

That night her dreams were calm seas under the pale moon.

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Oliver slowly stirred, feeling the warmth of the body next to him. He rolled around and opened his eyes; his vision slowly came to in the darkness of the room. Oliver jumped up with a start and rolled over to the side of the bed to turn the light on.

"Lana?" He asked in pure surprise.

Lana groaned slightly upon being woken up. "Hmm?"

"What are you doing here?" he grabbed his glasses from the nightstand and put them on.

Lana blinked a couple of times, remembering where she was. "I didn't want to sleep...alone."

Oliver sighed softly, calming down. He messaged his temple. "Lana, I don't think it's prudent for you...for us…" He met her confused gaze and sighed again. Of course she didn't understand. "Only married couples should share the same bed."

"Is that a rule?" She asked innocently, still confused.

Oliver stammered, "Well, not really no, not anymore."

"Can I?"

Oliver looked at her big brown eyes and felt a tug deep inside. How could he ever say no to her. He gave her a silent nod. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"I did…"

He sighed softly, "Just for tonight then."

Relieved, Lana laid back down and rolled over so her back was to Oliver. Oliver took his glasses off and turned the light off. It took him a moment to lay back down but when he did all he could think about was Lana's body next to his. How he wished so many things, he thought himself a low man if he acted upon his feelings without her consent.

So instead, he closed his eyes, inhaled her scent and drifted off to sleep.

When Oliver woke up the following morning, Lana was tangled in his arms still fast asleep. It took all of his power to get up and go on with the rest of his day.

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The afternoons were usually for their sessions. On that day Lana seamed calmer than she was most days, however, something was bothering her.

"You're awfully quiet." Oliver commented. His eyes were scanning the notes from their previous session. He knew it was unethical to be the one to give Lana therapy sessions when they had become so close to one another but who else was he going to turn to for help?

"I had a dream last night." She spoke up.

"What happened?" he asked with genuine interest. Lana's dreams were always so vast and imaginative.

"I dreamt about the woman again."

This caught Oliver's full attention. "Oh?"

"I think...I used to love her…"

Oliver froze. Slowly but surely Lana was remembering who she was.

"I liked women." She stated so sure of herself. She had said it with a confidence that she had lacked before. "Before I went there…" She met Oliver's gaze, "I was that way. I am...that way." She didn't know how to phrase it.

"Homosexual." He answered for her. "It's called homosexuality."

"Homo...sexuality." She repeated.

He nodded. "Yes. Or in other words, gay, lesbian. Also, from what I heard many people are coming out as bisexual as well."

"Oh." Lana glanced down, "And I was that way? I was lesbian?"

Oliver nodded. "Yes, Lana. That's why they took you to Briarcliff." Oliver closed his noted and stood to his feet. He walked over to his bookshelf and took out the DSM. "Many medicinal books classify homosexuality as a disorder, or a sickness. Religious books deem it to be a sin." He found the page he was looking for and closed the book back up, disgusted by its words.

"However," He turned back to Lana, "I don't agree with either."

Lana met his gaze. "No?"

"No." He went to her and knelt down to be at her eye level. "There is nothing- there was nothing wrong with you or any other person that identifies as such. It's a sexuality. A normal sexuality that has existed for hundreds of years. It's a shame our society doesn't accept it as openly as some would like but it doesn't make you sick or wrong or a sinner. It makes you, you."

Lana lowered her glance, "I'm remembering…" She took a deep breath, "I'm remembering who I was."

A sense of panic filled Oliver and his heart skipped a beat. He knew this day would come.

"Are you?" he asked with a saddened smile, placing his hand over her's.

She nodded. "I loved a woman who did not love me." Tears began to form in her eyes, "She didn't love me enough…"

"Do you remember her name?" He asked wondering if she truly remembered Wendy Peyser or just parts of her.

Lana shook her head. "No. I can't remember her face. I can't-" Her hands began to shake and she started to cry. "I can't! I can't!"

Oliver stood and pulled her into a secure embrace. "There, there, Lana. All is well. All is well…"

He glanced out the window where dark clouds were starting to form. She was remembering and yet her brain was blocking out the most painful parts of her past. He wondered if they would ever resurface.

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Lana helped Oliver cook dinner that night. She was doing very well around household chores and activities. She loved to cook but she claimed not to remember liking it before. Old parts of her were returning but new parts were forming along the way.

The one thing she disliked doing was the dishes but Oliver couldn't blame her for that, he disliked it too.

At last, it was nice to see Lana begin to function like a normal adult her age and not like a two year old child that needed to be held and consoled all the time. She was growing with every passing day. She was owning herself little by little.

But there was something that puzzled Oliver. He decided to ask her while they sat together and ate. It just couldn't wait until another session.

"Lana?"

Lana glanced up from her macaroni and cheese. Oliver found that it was amongst her favorites.

"Earlier today, during our session, you said you were lesbian." he stated.

She nodded.

"You used past tense. Why?"

Lana looked at her plate, she could hear the rain outside. "Because I was talking about the old me in my old life."

"Do you feel you're a new person now?"

Lana tilted her head slightly, "I don't know. I don't know who I'm supposed to be."

Oliver understood what her confused words meant. Lana thought of her old self as a different person she didn't quite know. All she knew were facts that her brain allowed her to know. Like the fact that she liked women. Briarcliff had split her life in two different eras. Now she was struggling to find her place.

Oliver placed his hand on hers and smiled, "You can be anyone you want to be. Don't let your past dictate any fear in you."

"Why do I feel that way?"

"You're coping, Lana. Your mind is adjusting itself. Its clearing itself from the fog that countless torture at briarcliff put it under but you're slowly finding your way out. You will find yourself soon enough."

Lana smiled, "Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me."

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That night Lana found her way back into Oliver's bedroom and crawled into his bed. Oliver didn't fight her on it. He wanted her to feel safe and if that was with him, then so be it.