Disclaimer: Don't Own AHS but if ya'll hirin.. hola at yo girl.

A/N: Everyone's love for Johnny makes me want to cry happy tears lol. It's so heartwarming to know how loved he's become in my writing. So thank you! And I gotta agree, Johnny is the way to go.

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TWENTY-THREE

There Is a Light

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To Lana it was all a blur; a mind numbing blur. The ringing in her ear grew louder, barely blocking out the sound of the word "Congratulations" that hung in the air like a bomb ready to explode. She could hear the beating of her heart ever so clearly in her ears as her skin turned boiling hot. Her head spun in circles, unable to look at the doctor in the eye. She had almost froze in fear when they arrived at the clinic earlier that morning but bared through it.

All of her instincts had told Lana to run but she remained frozen, gripping onto Oliver's hand. It all happened so fast as if her body went into shock, unable to process everything that was going on around her. Finally, when the ringing began to settle into the background, she looked up to meet Oliver's unreadable gaze. His lips were shut tight into a rigid line and his eyes remained void of any emotion.

The doctor left the room so the "married" couple could have a moment of privacy to rejoice but when the door closed the door behind him, there were no words, only a stifling silence that felt heavy in the air. Lana felt her hands trembling and her knees felt weak. Her gaze fell down upon the linoleum floor trying to fully make sense of reality.

She was going to be a mother. The doctor had confirmed it. The fear she had of being returned to Briarcliff had all but abandoned her body and a new fear stood in its place, taking reign.

Oliver grabbed Lana's clothes and walked to the examination table.

"Lana." He spoke her name in a somber tone and Lana's heart jolted. Her eyes flickered to meet his own, half expecting him to be the one to take her back to Briarcliff. She had seen it before on those daytime soap operas where a man impregnated his lover and then denied her. She didn't know why that thought ran through her mind but it filled her with nausea.

She grabbed her clothes, looking down at them, unsure of how to respond. When she didn't speak, Oliver placed his hand behind her neck and kissed her forehead. "Let's go home."

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Lana's entire body felt like Jell-O by the time Oliver parked the car in the driveway of the house. Oliver had been silent the entire ride home but Lana refused to speak before he said anything.

Oliver already knew she was expecting but he wanted it fully confirmed in front of his very own eyes. And it had been. Lana was six weeks along according to the doctor.

Deep down Oliver already knew he wanted to keep the child. He had been abandoned by his own mother and raised by a cruel and uncaring system that had damaged so many children beyond belief. He couldn't imagine a child of his own having to suffer through that same emotional and physical pain. Alas, he knew it was not his choice to make but Lana's. It was that truth that had kept him so silent even though his heart leapt with joy. He might not be able to keep this little baby he wanted to so fiercely protect and raise.

His eyes wandered to her, wondering what she was thinking but that look of intense fear was enough to give him a clue. He reached over and placed his hand on top of hers, "I'm right here with you."

Lana's chest went up and down with her panicked breathing. She turned to look him in the eyes and her voice shook, "I don't think I can do this…"

Oliver's heart sunk in his chest and he felt his head spin slightly. His stomach churned with fear and he took in a deep breath. Lana looked away, wishing that none of it was happening. She knew Oliver meant well and that it was for their best interest but her logical mind would just not kick into the matter.

"Lana, do you wish to have an abortion?" The question hung in the air, suspended in time as the seconds seemed to slow down.

Lana lost her voice, unable to answer.

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That night Oliver shut himself away in his study and poured himself a double glass of cognac and drank it in one swing. He set the glass down and grimaced slightly at the endearing but burning taste going down his throat and warm itself in the pit of his stomach.

Oliver felt sick. Not because of the expensive cognac he was drinking like water but because he had failed Lana. He took immense pride in being a professional and had told himself multiple times that he would never stoop low with his patients. Now here he was, a man with broken rules. Not only had he slept with Lana multiple times but he had gotten her pregnant.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid." He tapped his forehead with his fist and took his glasses off, discarding them on the desk in frustration.

A part of him was overjoyed that the woman he adored was having his child but the other part was drowning in guilt. Lana still was not her old self and the situation he had put her in was a hard one. Any woman would be afraid or nervous about motherhood but poor Lana was a different story. She was terrified and confused. She didn't even know if she wanted to be a mother but Oliver couldn't let her dispose of the child. His heart would break if she opted for an abortion. Not only was it illegal but she could die as a result. So many women had died due to botched back alley abortions and he did not want Lana to be one of them. He also couldn't bring himself to let someone end his child's life.

Adoption was another option that Oliver could just not face. He had lived that life first hand and it was a fate crueler than abortion. Lana was only six weeks along. If he remembered correctly, that meant that their baby was only the size of a little sweet pea or a grain of rice. He saddened at the thought of that little grain of rice being harmed in any way and poured himself another drink.

But what did Oliver expect would happen after all the times they slept together without any means of contraception? He had been such a fool to not even consider the reality of such behavior. Still, it was not one that had crossed Oliver's mind. It was unexpected. He had never meant things to escalate the way that they had. But what happened, happened and now they had to live with it.

Oliver wanted to hold onto some kind of hope. Lana hadn't answered when he asked if she wanted an abortion. Maybe a part of her wanted it too. Maybe she would come around to the idea of a child once the fear subsided and she could think clearly. Oliver didn't know but he had to find out.

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Lana sat at the white vanity table Oliver had purchased for her. She hadn't been able to answer Oliver's question regarding the abortion. It took her jumbled mind a moment to comprehend what he was asking and when it did, her arm covered her stomach, shielding the tiny pomegranate seed from such a possibility. Lana didn't think she could be a mother but she didn't think she could bring harm to the little being growing inside of her either. The predicament she was in was a difficult one.

There was a knock on the door and Lana gazed upward as the door slowly opened and Oliver stood in the doorway. His glasses were off and his hair was slightly messy. Lana could tell he had been drinking. His dress shirt was unbuttoned and his cuffs were folded up to his elbows. His face looked pale and his eyes looked rather puffy.

"Lana." He spoke her name, his voice breaking.

"What's wrong?" She asked, suddenly worried about him instead of herself.

Oliver entered the room and knelt down at her feet, taking a hold of her hands. "Lana, I am so very sorry."

Lana blinked, confusion slowly taking over her. "Sorry about what?" Was he going to take her back to Briarcliff now? Her heart began to accelerate. There was no way she was going back.

"This is all my fault. I should have never-"

A sheepish smile broke upon her lips, realizing how silly her fears were, "What? Are you regretting me already?"

Oliver quickly looked up, "What? No! No. Of course not." He shook his head, "I would never regret you. Us. Never." He paused and collected his words, "I put us in this situation."

Lana laughed. She didn't think she was capable of doing so in such a situation but she did. "Oliver, it takes two people to make a baby. That I didn't forget." She placed her hand upon his cheek, "I won't lie to you, I'm scared. I'm scared shitless."

Oliver was the next to laugh at her choice of words. Perhaps it was the cognac that made it a little bit funny. He sniffled and composed himself. "I can't let you risk your life with some back alley abortion. I know this is your choice to make but I cannot let you put your life in danger. If something happened to you, I- I-"

"Do you want this baby?" Lana asked abruptly. She hadn't thought to ask him until that very moment and the question slipped through her lips without a second thought.

Oliver's deep brown eyes met her own, holding them until the word escaped him in a solid and very positive, "Yes."