A/N: Sorry for the wait! But alas, as promised.
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TWENTY-FOUR
QUICKENING
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Oliver wanted it. It was very clear to Lana just by the look of hope and determination in his eyes. Lana wished she was as sure and as fearless as Oliver towards the little being growing inside of her but she was filled with a fear to fierce that it clogged her mind and jumbled her thoughts. Her mind was such a fickle thing; playing cruel games with her heart.
"I want to raise our child." His words were low but firm and Lana remained unsure of how to respond. All she could do was stare back at him as her thoughts tried in vain to align themselves. Oliver searched for the answer in her eyes when she didn't speak right away. How he wished he could read her mind in that moment and end the torment growing inside of him.
Lana's eyes fell to his hands holding her own and for a moment she felt less afraid.
"I understand if you don't want to be its mother but I beg you to at least reconsider an abortion."
Lana let go of Oliver's hands and wrapped her arms around her stomach protectively again. Her brows furrowed into a troubled frown, her expression slightly offended. "I don't want to hurt my baby." She answered fiercely.
Oliver's heart leapt when she called it hers. Lana's expression softened and her glance fell once more.
"Then what do you want?" Oliver asked softly, afraid to push her too hard, "Do you want this child?"
Lana's eyes flew to his. Again she fell silent and Oliver felt his stomach twist and twirl; her silence and uncertainty was killing him slowly. He was so afraid of what she might say. He couldn't lose Lana but he wouldn't part with the child either. If she refused it, if she rejected it, Oliver would be in a tough situation. He wouldn't dare choose between them but he didn't want to lose either of them.
"I do."
There it was. The answer he was hoping to hear and for a moment Oliver thought he had heard her wrong. He wanted to jump to his feet and hug her but the look in her eyes made him stay in place. Lana's gaze once again fell from his and her eyes filled with tears.
"But a child doesn't deserve a mother like me..." her voice was silent, filled with a deep sense of sadness, "Oliver, I'm broken."
"No, Lana, you're not." her words broke his heart. How could she think that of herself when Oliver only saw perfection. Perhaps he was a fool blinded by love but in his eyes Lana could do anything. "After Briarcliff, after everything that happened...You can do anything."
Lana attempted to smile, moved by his faith in her. But she hadn't done it alone. He had helped her escape and get through the darkest days because he was the only one that saw the worth in her. Oliver was the only one who truly believed her life still held meaning. She placed her hand on his cheek, "I need time." Her hand fell from his face when she saw the disappointment in his eyes. It was like watching the world crumble through them, "I just need time."
Time. It was what Lana had asked for and Oliver obliged. He had no other choice but to let the fear and the shock subside until her mind could freely think. And so the days passed one after another until they turned into weeks.
Oliver tread lightly when it came to the child. He didn't want to push Lana or make her feel too pressured, afraid she'd change her mind to the worst. In those days she had come to peace with the pregnancy but had not fully announced what she had planned after birth. Instead, he'd ask her how she was feeling and if she needed anything. He was attentive but not overbearing.
As the days passed, the fear in Lana began to subside. She grew accustomed to the idea of the tiny human growing inside her and didn't mind the small bit of company while Oliver was at work. She'd lay awake at night imagining herself as a mother and every time she did, the idea wasn't such a bad one. While she slept she had multiple dreams of holding the little baby in her arms and when she awoke, her heart filled to burst and she'd find herself crying with all kinds of emotions.
The fear was slowly fading but the doubt was fickle and stubborn and stuck inside the tight crevices of her mind, often peering its ugly head. Lana hated the doubt and ignored it as much as she could.
Slowly but surely Lana's stomach began to swell well into the second trimester. She stood in front of the mirror and stared at herself, wearing only her bra and underwear. Her stomach at four months had turned into a small potbelly that pudged out in a firm little lump. Lana tilted her head, the tiny little pom seed was now the size of an avocado- according to Oliver. Lana placed her hand upon her belly and smiled softly.
"You just keep growing, don't you?" She sighed softly, unsure of how much more the little one would grow. "Well, take your time in there. There's no need to rush."
Lana dressed and commenced her chores around the house. Lana had made much progress outside of the pregnancy. She had begun to venture further out into the neighborhood and took long walks in the mornings while Oliver was at work. At first she only felt comfortable out on the porch or in the garden. She never went past the lawn but in those few weeks she ventured to the mailbox and then past the neighbor's house and finally to the corner of the street.
"Walking is healthy for a pregnancy." Oliver commented, pleased with her new routine.
At first the thought of Sister Jude coming back for her was a terrifying one but with each passing day, it seemed less and less likely. No one was coming for her. Or at least that's what Lana told herself so she let herself have those little freedoms that accompanied normalcy. It made her feel just a little bit more sane.
After her chores and her walks, Lana sat down to read in Oliver's study. Oliver had brought her a new book: Anne of Green Gables. He claimed the 19th century based story would be an enjoyable one. At first Lana was skeptic of the story but she started the book and continued to read it without any complaints. The little orphan, Anne, grew on Lana after just the first few pages of the book.
"You sly bastard." Lana bit her bottom lip in a smile, referring to Oliver who had gotten that specific book for Lana in hopes that an orphan's story would soften her decision about their child. "You're a smart one aren't you?"
She placed her hand upon her pregnant belly and continued to read out loud for the baby. She didn't know exactly why she did; she doubted it could even hear her but she liked to do so anyway.
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When Oliver arrived home from work, he found Lana dozing off in his study. He often came home to the sound of her voice as she read out loud to the baby. It made him smile every time she did so.
"Lana, I'm home." He announced softly as to not startle her.
She roused from the seat and blinked, confused for a moment. "You're home." She stated.
Oliver walked over to her and kissed her forehead. "Finally am." He walked over to his desk and placed his suitcase on top with a sigh, "It was a very long and tedious day."
"I'm sorry to hear that." Lana stood and made her way over to him, placing her hand on his arm.
Oliver smiled at her, "There's no need." He looked down to her stomach but kept himself from touching it, nervous that it would bother her. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine." Lana answered, "A little less tired every day."
"Well, that's good to hear." He noticed the book upon the seat. "How's the book?"
Lana turned to look at him, raising her brow in amusement, "You sure do know how to pick them, don't you?"
Oliver chuckled with a shrug, "The girl behind the counter said it was a good book. I haven't read it myself."
Somehow Lana felt that he was fibing but didn't press the matter. They exited his study and Oliver got started on dinner. He liked to cook and Lana wasn't the best at it just yet. That didn't matter to Oliver. He had cooked for himself for years and didn't mind keeping that tradition. Lana accompanied him in the kitchen, telling him about her day but she left out the multiple little conversations she had with the little baby in her womb.
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It was sometime past one in the morning when Lana felt the small flutter inside of her. Her eyes blinked open, just a little bit startled by the sensation. Her vision set on the dark ceiling above her and remained still; waiting and listening until she felt it again. That time the flutter felt stronger.
Lana's hand instantly grabbed Oliver's. "Do you feel that?" She asked, her voice was a hushed whisper. Oliver didn't respond, still in deep slumber. Lana shook his hand until he rolled onto his back. "Oliver." She called him again, louder that time. "Oliver."
"Hmm?" Oliver roused from sleep, eyes still closed.
"Do you feel that?"
"Feel what?" He was confused, half of his mind still in sleep mode.
"Did you feel that?"
"I can't feel anything, Lana."
"The flutter." She said, placing her hand on her belly, a smile spreading across her lips, "I think he moved."
