Chapter 15: "Always"
"So, let me get this straight: You're from the future. You've lived through all of these events before. You're the son of the Silent One, who should really be nicknamed the Helpful One. You're saying Kronos is actually the least of our problems, as our great-grandmother who is also the earth is waking up, and that's even worse than a cannibalistic psycho grandpa. You've fought not one, but two wars in the span of two years. Annabeth and I are one of Seven who have been prophesied to save the world, which will be told by a girl I accidentally stab after she blows her nose. The Greek demigods are not the only demigods to exist. There are more of us, all of which hate us with a passion. And we're supposed to unite with them if we're going to survive in the next four years. We didn't unite with them in time, and that's why you're here. Did I miss anything?" Percy asked.
"Mmm," I hummed, "You've just about summed it up. There are a couple of plot holes here and there, though we can discuss them when the problem arrives," I answered thoughtfully.
"How old are you?" Percy backtracked a little, "I mean, you look like a 10 year old, though you don't sound like a 10 year old."
I sighed, "Do you want the long answer or the short one?"
"Um, I guess… short?"
"I look like a 10 year old, I feel like a 14 year old, I sound like an adult, and I'm actually an old man."
"You…" Percy blinked. He blinked again. "Um… May I ask how?"
"When I traveled back in time, I assumed my 10 year old appearance. Before I time traveled, l looked and felt like a 14 year old, because 4 years have passed what is now being considered our present. I talk like an adult because… well… let's just say loss can change a person. My chronological age is actually around 80, maybe even 90. Bianca and I were taken to the Lotus Hotel and Casino and left there for 70 years since World War II, which we were born before, so our father never actually broke the oath. As for why… well, if I reintroduce the topic to a certain God, you'll find out soon enough. Bianca doesn't have any memories stretching past a year ago. Neither do I, thanks to the River Lethe."
"Why were you bathed in the River Lethe?"
"Like I said, you might find out soon enough," I gazed out at the starry night sky above Manhattan. Everything looks so different from high up. Usually I would be scared to death of being this high up in the air, but it was somewhat comforting to have Percy and Annabeth beside me, knowing they could catch me if I fall off. Or you know, if Blackjack "accidentally" makes me fall off.
Dawn is beginning to break over the horizon, and there's still no sign of the camp van. I found myself twisting my non existent ring once again, a nervous habit I've adopted ever since my father gave me the silver skull ring with ruby eyes. He said it would help me in controlling my powers and my emotions. Before I had the ring, even after, my mood almost always affected my surroundings. On good days, the shadows merely retreated from their respective places and clung to me like suffocating, thick smog. On bad days, the ground around me would begin to decay; grass would blacken, flowers would wither and die, a thin, icy layer of frost would settle on the terrain, and the temperature would drop below freezing—even in the middle of summer. On the worst of days—which few have witnessed—besides Reyna, Hedge, and maybe Jason, my emotions would quite literally erupt out of me. The effects can be deadly, and the worst of my feelings—my fear, my shame, my pain, my rage, would be imposed on every single person in a 20 foot radius.
I've only ever had a really bad day twice, when Bryce Lawrence decided inflicting pain and killing people was fun—he got what was coming for him, I have no regrets for what I did—and in Croatia, when my deepest, darkest secret was forced out of me. All in high definition for Jason Grace to see. It seems my secret wasn't buried deep enough.
If there's one thing I learned from that experience, it is that love is nothing short of a sweet illusion to lull you in, only to break your heart from the inside out when you're at your most vulnerable. And it continues, over and over, an incessant cycle of pain that accompanies loss, jealousy, and hate. It never stops. Does that make me a monster to think such thoughts? To see love as something vile and poisonous? To feel no regret, no remorse for what I did to the Legacy of Orcus? Probably. But what's the use of pretending to be something your not, when a monster is all anyone will ever see?
I suddenly became aware that someone was shaking me. "Nico, are you alright? Nico, answer me. Are you okay?" I blinked to find two very concerned faces staring back at me. "Hey, are you okay? You were spacing out a bit there. You looked like you were about to cry," Annabeth said gently.
"I'm fine," I answered instinctively.
"No you're not," Percy chimed in.
I sighed through my nostrils. Here we go. "Yes, I am."
"Really?" The son of the sea asked in mockingly. "Then how do you explain the fact that you've been twisting your finger in deep thought for the past half hour?"
"Just an old habit," I replied smoothly.
"A nervous habit," Annabeth clarified.
"Just a habit."
"Somehow I find your case very unconvincing."
"You want to know something I've noticed? Dealing with 17 year old Percy and Annabeth is significantly easier than dealing with you two, and that is saying something."
"The shadows are warping around you," Percy helpfully pointed out.
"Whether you like it or not, you're stuck with us now, Neeks. We can clearly see something is wrong! Just let us in!" Annabeth pleaded.
"We can help you, Nico, but only if you stop pushing us away," Percy added.
No. I can't let them in. No one should have to bear my burden.
"Like I said, I'm fine. There is nothing wrong with me!" I lied.
"So you're just going to ignore the fact that you witnessed, felt, and heard every single person you love die not two days ago?" Annabeth questioned.
I flinched involuntarily. The Daughter of Athena just rubbed a ton of salt in a wound that hasn't even clotted. Her keen eyes narrowed, calculating my reaction. She knows I'm lying, I realized.
I don't care if they have their suspicions. I'm not about to give in that easily.
"Moving on isn't the same as ignoring. I'm upset that my friends died, but what can I do except keep moving forward? All I can do is keep trying to change the past and hope for a better future," I said. I wasn't necessarily lying per se. I merely dialed down a couple of words.
"'Upset?'" Annabeth asked incredulously, "'Upset' is an understatement and we all know it."
"Has it ever occurred to you that I might not like talking about it? Yeah. I went through some pretty messed up stuff that day. My whole life is messed up. But I'm not about to announce it to the world just to receive a pity party! I don't want your pity! Why can't you just understand that? I don't want it! I don't need your sympathy, I don't need your empty promises, and I certainly don't need you treating me like I'm some fragile traumatized boy that cries every time he's abandoned!" I shouted. "I need people I can trust," I admitted quietly, "I need my friends back. I… I need my family again."
The heroes of Olympus stared at me, and it suddenly occurred to me that I just screamed at the two most powerful demigods alive. What was I thinking? I'm actually suicidal. If they weren't already planning on it, surely they're gonna kick me off Blackjack—quite literally—now. To my surprise, they hugged me. I stiffened from the physical contact. My eyes widened. I don't know what came over me, but I hugged back.
"We aren't pitying you, Neeks. We just want to make sure you're okay. Grief and tragedy can make good people—people like you—change in terrible, unimaginable ways. They can make you lose all sense of reality and reason. We don't want that for you, Nico. We just want you to be alright. We want to help you in anyway we can. Thank you for opening up to us. Thank you for confiding in us," Annabeth murmured.
"We won't let you down, Neeks," Percy promised as he ruffled my hair. A thought occurred to me: Percy just made another promise to me. Although, this time it seemed genuine, real, and every bit of concrete. Could he really keep his promise this time? Or will history repeat itself? I choose to believe this time will be different. I choose to believe Percy won't break my heart again with his empty words.
"We'll be your family, Nico," Annabeth declared, "Always."
Always.
Such a loosely used word. Yet it held so much meaning in just two syllables. It was an everlasting vow; an unyielding promise. I thought of that scene from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows of Severus Snape's words about his eternal love for an eternally dead woman. Though this is a different kind of love. Not one of romance, but one of family.
You have grasped an understanding of family and love, a certain wisdom even I could not have taught you, Hestia's words echoed in my mind. Was she right?
I thought about Percy and Annabeth's promises to me. Then I realized something: Family isn't forged by blood, it's forged by bond. And maybe, just maybe this bond will beat the odds of Fate.
"You're already my family," I murmured. Annabeth hugged me tighter. I could feel Percy's smile behind me. A few tears slipped from my eyes. However, they weren't tears of pain and sadness. They were tears of happiness and relief—something I haven't experienced in a long time. At that moment, I couldn't be any happier. Who needs romance when you've got an amazing family? One that you know will always stand by you.
A small smile graced my lips. My eyelids grew heavy and a yawn escaped me. Ugh, planning to save the world can beso-o-o-o exhausting. I closed my eyes and let the darkness take me.
I registered the fact that I'm now sitting in the very back row of a van, when only moments before, I was sitting on Blackjack having a very touching, sensitive discussion with the demigod dynamic duo. Oh great, I'm dreaming. I should've known peace would only last for one night. I already used up my free pass. I sighed and looked around.
In the driver's seat, Zoe Nightshade honked at the miles of traffic in the lane, cursing under her breath. Bianca was next to her in the passenger's seat, studying the rainbow of cars with interest. In the middle row, Thalia and Grover were playing a game of chopsticks. Some old Olympus issued magazines laid open and tousled on the floor.
"Stupid mortals! My goddess is in danger! We have no time to sit through thy shenanigans," Zoe grumbled irritably.
"Why is everyone stopping? What's so interesting that it has to hold up the rest of the lane?" Bianca asked with innocent curiosity. She undid her braid and ran her fingers through her dark wavy hair, only to weave the strands back together again.
"It's called, 'Oh, there's an accident! I need to get a better look!' and 'Ohhh, there's blood and glass! What's this about?' and 'Wow! Look at that explosion! I hope nobody died!'" The Daughter of Zeus exclaimed sarcastically, "It's in the nature of mortals to be curious about gruesome things. Just goes to show how they haven't had any gruesome things in their lives to worry about," Thalia explained offhandedly.
She's right of course. Mortals tend to crane their heads for a better look at crime scenes, accidents, and bodies in general. I should know, I've had discussions like this with plenty of ghosts.
"Oh," Bianca said quietly.
"Ha! I finally beat you!" The satyr exclaimed triumphantly. He threw his hands in the air before grinning and taking a bite out of a soda can.
"Congratulations," the Daughter of Zeus replied dryly. "You won one out of forty-five matches," She sighed and looked out the window in boredom. She tapped the cold glass of the window in a familiar beat. Probably a Green Day song, "How much farther do we have left to go?"
Bianca squeezed a handle that opened up a compartment in the dashboard. She reached inside and grabbed what looked to be an outdated map. She unfolded the map and smoothed out the parchment. She squinted as she attempted to read the gibberish, "Um… if we continue on this route, probably about a 100 miles or so, give or take," she answered. The Daughter of Hades frowned a little, "Wait… I don't think I'm reading this right."
She stuffed the map back in the compartment in frustration.
"Why the Smithsonian?" Bianca asked, "I know you had a dream about it, Zoe. But why would you have a dream about the Smithsonian of all places? I mean, Artemis couldn't possibly be held there, right?"
"Dreams are often signs or warnings for events that will take place in the near future. Morpheus does not simply show thou a dream for thy entertainment. Dreams can show thou the future, or even events that are happening elsewhere at the moment. We must travel to the Smithsonian museum. Whatever may wait for us there is either what we seek, or what we shall hunt. I am certain of this," Zoe replied.
Bianca nodded, "What do you think is waiting for us there?"
"Nothing good, that I am sure of."
A jolt woke me up. The smell of grapes and wine pervaded my nostrils. Wait… I know that scent.
What's Dionysus doing here?
I took in my surroundings. Blackjack was being pulled by an army of grape vines to a nearby terrace of a rooftop. Percy and Annabeth stared wide-eyed at a figure stepping out of the shade. The Wine Dude emerged with his arms crossed, and a smug Enjoy your last moments of sanity look on his face, "Perry Johnson, Annabelle Case, and Nick Acacio. Tell me, what are you three doing outside of the camp borders? As far as I'm concerned—which isn't much, mind you—you three were not chosen to go on a quest to rescue Artemis. So, give me one reason why I shouldn't turn you all into dolphins and bottles of Merlot for sneaking out."
"Um… You can't drink wine?" Percy reasoned weakly.
Annabeth elbowed him in the ribs, "Seaweed Brain!" She whispered-yelled. She turned to Dionysus, "We need to prevent some things that are going to happen on the quest. We also need an audience with the Gods."
"And how, Annabelle Case, would you know what is going to happen on the quest? Why would you need an audience with the Gods?"
"You'll find out soon enough," I said coldly, "As for why we need an audience with the Gods as soon as possible? Well... do you have a retirement plan?"
The God of Wine studied me thoughtfully with his grape colored eyes. Finally he said, "You are not like the other demigods I have met over the years, Nico di Angelo," What surprised me was the fact that he actually used my real name, "There is a maddening glint in your eyes. A glint that takes time to surface. You best be careful not to let the darkness inside you take over, or that is all you will ever experience for the rest of your short, miserable life. The insanity will tear you apart from the inside out, fracturing you until you are irreparable—though you already knew that," My jaw went slack. That's the first time I've ever gotten advice from Mr. D, and it's probably the last. I nodded quite pathetically. But really, how are you supposed to react when someone tells you that there's a good chance you could go insane?
Mr. D gave a tired sigh, as if this is something he has to deal with everyday, "I suppose I can let you three go. I guess you can go off and save the world. You can lead your insignificant lives to doom for all I care. Though a bit of advice," He addressed me directly, giving me the impression he already knew I wasn't a 10 year old, "Don't toy with Fate. It never ends well for you in the long run," With that he disappeared into a cloud of purple smoke, and the smell of grapes and strawberries lingered in the early morning air.
"So… I think we need to head to the Smithsonian. Or at least follow Zoe and friends there," I said, breaking silence.
"Dream?" Percy and Annabeth asked simultaneously.
"Dream."
And with that, we hopped back onto Blackjack for the long wait of traffic ahead. We flew into the sunset, and it comically reminded me of the ending scene of a movie. Although this time, there is no ending scene.
The fight has only just begun.
