A/N: Hi, everyone! Thank you for reading and reviewing. For those that asked, yes! It is Allan as in Edgar Allan Poe! It just felt right.

I did go back and forth with what kind of relationship Lana would have with Johnny this time around and since I've never tried this instant connection before, I decided to go with it. So far it seems to be working out well.
PS. I hope everyone enjoyed their holidays! I wanted to update more before Christmas but time escaped me. Anyway, working on some other stuff as well!

.

THIRTY-SIX

Gifts

.

Lana felt like she was falling into deep oceans when she looked down into his eyes. He laid in her arms, eyes wide awake as they briefly focused on her face. Motherhood was challenging and somewhat frustrating for Lana in those first couple of weeks. She often felt at a loss and second guessed herself every single step of the way. Even though she was so good with the boy, she felt like she was always failing him in one way or another.

Lana carried the boy around the living room, unable to take her eyes off his face. The strength had slowly returned to her legs and Oliver had managed to get her to sleep more than she had been doing after Johnny was born. Locking the bedroom door seemed to ease her and so he did whenever she needed to sleep.

Johnny slept in a cradle next to their bed whenever he wasn't sleeping in their arms. He had been settling in just fine and was already spoiled as could be. Oliver had taken many photographs of his little family and even carried one of Johnny and Lana in his wallet. He seemed excited to show his staff at his practice.

"Look at those sweet eyes." Lana spoke gently to baby Johnny, "Where did you get those eyes, little chicken?" She asked him, a gentle smile spread across her face. Having Johnny in arms always made her forget the night terrors and all of her anxieties. It was when her arms were empty that she felt the post partum begin to drag her down into the depths of a black ocean.

Johnny made soft little sounds. He seemed very alert at almost three weeks old and liked to observe when he was awake. He had lost the puffy look of a babe seconds out of the womb and felt a little heavier to Lana. The little stump of his umbilical cord had fallen off but his eyes still held that dark cobalt color. He had changed their worlds drastically but Lana held on tight to her little life line.

Judy meowed, weaving herself between Lana's legs, rubbing her back against her. Lana could hear her loud purr as she did so. Even Judy had warmed up to the baby. They often found her resting inside the cradle with Johnny, nestled at the foot of it, keeping his little feet warm.

"There we go." Oliver spoke up for the first time in an hour. He was sitting down in the living room putting together a new baby bouncer.

It was Lana's idea that they finally put the bouncer together. Oliver was starting to hover over her, concerned over her well being and her lack of sleep that Lana was becoming frustrated with him. When he wasn't worrying about her, he was caring for Johnny and the baby had not been making it easy for them.

Diaper changes had been an ordeal both Oliver and Lana had struggled with at first. They were clumsy in the beginning and the boy screamed bloody murder almost every time. Lana grew frustrated because she believed changing a diaper should have been something so simple and easy. Alas, the two new parents endured.

Lana walked over to sofa and smiled at Oliver. He had been such a wonderful father to Johnny. It was like he was born for it.

"You're good at putting things together." Lana commented.

Oliver smiled at this, "Well, thank you very much." He was due back at work soon and wasn't too thrilled about leaving them behind while he was gone. Oliver trusted Lana with Johnny even though she still second guessed herself. Her motherly instincts kicked in almost immediately and Oliver knew they would be just fine. Besides, the boy was over two weeks into life and he was still alive and well. He was sure they had to be doing something right.

Oliver stood to his feet and looked down at the bouncer, "Luckily it's not too heavy. You can take it with you into the study while you work on your writing."

Lana nestled Johnny against her chest and rubbed his back. He had started to fuss. She had been so nervous about moving him around or changing his position in her arms but after time it was second nature. "That's good to hear. I would like to start again soon."

Oliver caressed the back of Johnny's head softly, "He's a full time job, isn't he?"

Lana laughed lightly at this, "That's an understatement."

"Well, you're doing an amazing job." He kissed her forehead and continued to clean up after himself.

Lana watched him with a soft gaze. How she wished he didn't have to return to work.

.

.

It was Sister Jude's cane cracking against skin that woke Lana from her sleep that night. She sat up in bed and clutched Oliver's arm. He remained fast asleep, having stayed up a bit late with Johnny.

Johnny began to stir in his cradle. Lana was up on her feet, the tears streaming down her face. She went to the crib and sighed upon seeing Judy at Johnny's feet. She wasn't allowed in the cradle but always made her way there. Alas, Lana smiled gently and carefully picked up Johnny before he awoke Oliver.

"Is Judy keeping you safe?" She whispered to him. "Come on. Let's go."

.

Lana changed his diaper and stepped out into the living room. She turned on one of the lamps and sat on the sofa. Judy came following after her and perched herself on the armrest. The purring continued.

"I hope I didn't wake you." Lana spoke to Johnny like she did when he was still in utero. She laid Johnny on her lap and caressed his cheek with her finger. He wiggled about, stretching out his legs and moving his little fists. "I suppose Mama has bad dreams sometimes…"

Lana leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling. She remembered Sister Jude so perfectly. The color of her eyes and the blondness of her hair that sometimes stuck out of her habit. She remembered her voice and her strong accent. Lana felt the anger rising within her chest but when she heard Johnny coo, the anger settled.

Lana looked down at him and smiled weekly. She noticed his little roasted chicken position and gave out a little laugh. She placed her finger against his fist and watched as he opened his little hand and closed it tight around her finger. "Such a sweet thing you are. Oh, little boy. You're like a gift from the cosmos, aren't you?"

.

.

She had dreamt of Lana again the night before. It felt as if she had been doing so more and more often. In her dreams, Lana was in bed with her. The linens were soft and clean and Wendy Peyser swore she could feel the warmth emanating off Lana's body. It felt normal. It felt like how things used to be once upon a time when their lives were almost perfect. However, cruel reality shook her awake when dawn broke through the blinds of her room and she found herself alone.

Lana had weighed heavy on Wendy's mind ever since the dreams began in early April. She had forced herself to forget her yet again after the doctor from Briarcliff came to her door. Wendy tried to forget and move forward with her life. She continued living as if the reminder of Lana's existence was just a bump in the road. She had continued to see Clara and had her over on the regular but after Lana appeared in her dreams, Wendy was filled with a guilt so strong she wouldn't dare to dream again.

"Wendy, are you alright?" Lois' voice brought Wendy back down to the conversation.

The coffee house was alive that Sunday evening. The sounds of soft conversations and clattering mugs filled the room amongst the low sound of smooth jazz. Wendy looked at her friends who sat at the small table across from her. She smiled, "I'm fine. I just zoned out."

It had been a while since she had been able to catch up with her friends.

"There's life outside of work, remember that." Barb chimed in as she took a drink from her coffee.

"She's right, you know." Lois responded, "And speaking of life outside of work, how's yours been?"

Wendy sighed but she put on a smile, "You ladies know me, I can't complain."

"How's you know who?" Barb gave her that teasing look as she took another drink.

Wendy chuckled, "Fine. Clara's just fine." She picked up her latte and took a sip.

Lois and Barb shared a look and then Lois smiled, "Well, it's good to see you moving on."

Wendy was a bit caught off by her comment but then she remembered. Lois and Barb did not know what happened to Lana. Wendy told them they broke it off and Lana left. That was all she would say on the matter.

"Oh my God!" Barb gasped, suddenly remembering, "You would not believe who I ran into."

Lois frowned, "Mary Wexler?"

Barb shook her head, "No."

"That brunette from the bar?"

"Who?"

"You know, the one from Poughkeepsie."

"No, not her."

"Then who?"

"Lana."

Wendy shot up at the name. Her lips parted and she felt her heart stop beating if only for a moment. Her eyes grew wide and her face turned pale as if the ghost of her haunted past had just placed its bony, cold hand on her shoulder. "W-what? What did you say?" her voice was almost a whisper.

Barb looked at Wendy and cringed inward. She had almost forgotten what had transpired between them. Or at least what she had been told by Wendy. Lana disappeared without a trace and they never heard her side of the story. Alas, Barb saddened.

"I wasn't sure if I should have said anything but I saw Lana a few months back." She tried to smile but a look of concern crossed her face. "I know you two ended on bad terms so I didn't want to mention it off the bat."

"Holy shit, so our beloved Lana is alive." Lois shook her head. "All this time and she finally decides to pop out from the shadows? Was she at the Menagerie?"

Barb shook her head. "No. It was the weirdest thing."

Wendy felt her heart excelerate. There was no way Barb saw Lana. It was impossible. Lana was in Briarcliff. She wasn't of sound mind. She was locked up and insane. It couldn't have been her.

Barb continued, "But no, she wasn't there. I saw her at the park."

"The park?" Wendy managed to croak out the question.

Barb nodded again. "Yes. I was catching up with Blair-"

"Blair from Brockton?"

"The very same- anyway, we were just strolling along when I saw Lana. She was sitting down on a park bench."

"Are you sure it wasn't someone else?" Wendy picked up her latte but her hands were shaking.

"No." Barb shook her head, "I'd recognize that face anywhere." She lowered her gaze, "But it was so strange because she pretended like she didn't know who I was."

"What?" Lois scoffed, "No way. Seriously?"

Wendy instantly looked at Barb when she said this. The cup was almost to her lips but she couldn't feel the heat emanating off of it.

"I approached her to say hello. Well, you know, since she vanished into thin air so suddenly. And she had this strange look on her face when she saw me. Almost like she was afraid of me."

Wendy set the mug down without taking a drink and grew tense. "Was she alone?"

Barb turned to her but hesitated to answer, "...No. She wasn't."

"Well?" Lois edged her on.

"She was with a man."

"A man?" Lois raised a brow. "Was it her boss?"

Barb shook her head. "No. I've never seen him before but they were sitting awfully close to one another and he was holding her hand. They left together." She looked around the coffee shop as if they were being watched, "I think they were together-together." she whispered.

Lois scoffed again, "Lana with a man? Barb you dreamt it all!" She laughed.

"I most certainly did not!" Barb scowled. "I saw her plain as day and in the living flesh. Even though she claimed not to know who I was. If I'm being honest I think it's because…" She stopped and looked to Wendy, "I'm sorry Wendy I didn't mean to-"

Wendy put her hand up and waved it, "No, no. Don't worry about me. You know how proud Lana is. She probably wanted to move on without any of us in her life…"

"That doesn't sound like Lana." Lois chimed in again. She leaned into the table and lowered her voice, "Lana dating a man? Is the sun blue? Do pigs drive flying cars? No. She would never."

Barb sighed, "I know some of us will turn to such safeties but I never pegged Lana as one to hide behind the beard of a man."

The ringing in Wendy's ear grew louder and louder. "What man?"

"Come again?" Barb asked.

"What did this man look like?"

Barb searched her thoughts. "Well, he was very handsome, if I can be quite frank. He looked very presentable and professional too."

"Hmph." Lois leaned back in her chair, "Sounds like a dream."

"I know we all prefer something different but he was a very handsome man." Barb nodded to herself, "Not to mention that he seemed very fond of her."

"Leave it to Lana to find herself the perfect beard. Ain't that somethin'. So what? Is she swinging for the other team now or what?"

"I doubt that." Wendy couldn't help to say. "Barb? What else did this man look like?"

Barb paused again and once more searched her mind. "Well, he was tall, had dark hair and wore glasses."

Wendy froze immediately.

The doctor.