A/N:
Hey guys, just wanted to say that out of all the chapters I wrote so far, this is by far my favorite! Hope you enjoy it too!
Chapter 20: A Time For the Inbetween
It wasn't until several trains later that we finally lost the skeleton warriors. At least for now, anyway. We paid for tickets after tickets, paying no attention to which cardinal direction we were heading. By noon, we found ourselves on yet another train, though this time we knew for sure we were heading west.
We all found some cheap window seats to sit around. None of us spoke—what was there to say? Plenty of things about me and my sister's existence, I'm sure. Still no one said a word. The sound of wheels on train tracks became somewhat comforting to hear. It was, oddly enough, a nice white noise in the background of deafening quiet.
Finally Zoe broke the silence. "I cannot be certain which one of thou is the fifth member of the quest. Which means all three of thou must accompany us on the journey until it is revealed," she said reluctantly. We all nodded. We understood the unspoken words: Until two of us dies.
As grim as it looks, I'm praying there's another meaning to the prophecy. Or better yet—my ability to make another meaning. Loopholes can be quite tricky, though with enough forward thinking and prior knowledge, I might be able to pull it off. I can only hope.
I tried to banish the pessimistic thoughts from my mind, but deep down I have a sinking feeling someone is going to die. Who will it be? I was foolish enough to think I could save everyone. I was foolish enough to believe in the fantasies painted in my mind. All the prettiest, vibrant hues of the world—save for the ruthless red, dreary grey, and soulless black. No more wildflowers in the field.
No more shades.
How is it something so innocent could become something so sinister? And where, for the life of me, did the inbetween go? Ever since my arrival into the past, my life has been nothing but a swirl of ups and downs. Just like that poem, Ecclesiastes.The pleasure and pain in my life is almost poetic:
A time for hope and a time for secrets.
A time for hugs and a time for tears.
A time for love and a time for hate.
A time for order and a time for chaos.
A time for bond and a time for blood.
When is it time for the inbetween? Will there ever be a time?
There's no middle ground. No neutral zone. All that's there is a never ending cycle of happiness and misery. What about all the mediocre people with their mediocre lives? Where do they belong? In the fields of Asphodel, my brain supplied. Where they've always belonged.
For death, sure. But what about for life? Is there ever an in between with that?
A time for life and a time for death.
What about a time for just being?
Life and death are full of emotions. And with these emotions comes torment and experience. And with this torment and experience comes enlightenment; the light bulb going off in the mind.
But what does it feel like to just be?
What do you feel then? Do you even feel at all? Can you see, hear, taste, touch, and smell? Or are all the senses of human nature turned off, just like that? Sometimes I wish I can just be. Perhaps then I wouldn't have to feel the good and the bad. I can be eternally neutral and undecided. I imagine there would be nothing to experience. Nothing to torment you. Nothing to spark a lightbulb in your brain.
If happiness brings pain then do I really want it? Or would I rather just be in the inbetween? Are life and death really all that they're cut out to be?
I frowned. It's selfish to ponder such thoughts. Whether I like it or not, I'm here with a job to do. I intend to complete it, from the very beginning to the very end. So why am I thinking this then? Am I so miserable that I would stoop this low? I shook my head, trying and failing to rid myself of these thoughts. It's amazing how far my ADHD brain can go when it has nothing to do.
Well, at the very least I can provide it with somewhat helpful dreams to ponder. I'm running low on sleep anyway. Might as well take this opportunity of momentary peace to take a nap.
I snuggled into my—well, more like Percy's—warm jacket and leaned my head against the cool glass of the rickety train. I fell asleep to the sounds of silence.
...
"Nico…"
My life flashed before my eyes: The Lotus Hotel and Casino, Westover Hall, Camp Half Blood, the Labyrinth, the Underworld, Camp Jupiter, and the broken, bloody world.
"Nico, where did you go?" A voice whispered.
So many scenes played before me within seconds: The lawyer taking Bianca and I out of the timeless casino. Percy Jackson's sword glinting in the darkness of the deserted corridor. The dream of my sister's death as she fearlessly took down the Talos prototype. The feeling of freedom as I glided through the air out of Daedalus' workshop and over the maze walls. My father's cold, callous eyes as he gazed down at me from his throne of bone. The Legion of a thousand warriors all lined up before the leaders of New Rome. My little sister's dull copper eyes staring into the ruthless red.
"Nico, we waited for you," the voice sounded familiar, like a distant echo.
The cacophonous sound of ringing reverberated in my ears once again. In an instant, I was back on the battlefield. Thousands of bodies were piled in defeated heaps on the blood-soaked earth. So many eyes, so many shades stared into the ruthless red. I recognized the ones closest to me. On the left side of me, Percy, Will, and Annabeth's corpses laid still on the wrangled earth. On the right side, Jason, Reyna, and Megan stared back at me with empty eyes. In front of me, a few feet away, Hazel was the only one left standing. She regarded me with passive eyes and an emotionless face, so unlike her usual cheery presence. Her golden eyes looked duller than normal.
"Hazel?" I hesitated. Something isn't right about her. I didn't care. She's alive and safe, and that's all that matters. "Hazel!" I darted to her, attempting to hug her and be taken away from this terrifying world. But I passed right through her. She looked corporeal, though she was nothing more than a ghost—an echo on this dying earth.
I looked at her in horror. She looked at me in despair. "You left me, Nico. I waited for you and you abandoned me," she said. There was an overwhelming misery that I couldn't even begin to comprehend in her voice. "How could you?"
"I—I had to! It was the only way to save you!" I exclaimed. Tears streamed down my cheeks as she gazed at me hopelessly. Pain was painted all over her pretty face.
"You are only delaying the inevitable, Nico. It will catch up to you one day. If not now, soon," she declared. Then she began to disappear like mist into the heavy air. I watched the light leave her eyes all over again as she started to fade. Resentment was the last look I saw cross her face.
"HAZEL!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I broke down sobbing. My knees and palms dug into the scarlet earth. Everyone is gone. Everyone is dead. There's nobody left to save.
I can't do this anymore! I can't do this! I can't do this!
"Hey, don't cry. it's gonna be okay, Death Boy," an unfamiliar voice said. The mysterious girl wrapped her warm arms around me in a hug. I looked up. A girl of about 12 years old stared down at me with her crystal blue eyes. She had caramel blonde hair, a proud face, and a strange necklace shaped like an angel around her neck. "The sun will rise again," she reassured me. With the conviction in her British accent, I couldn't help but believe her.
"Who—who are you?" I asked. My tears ceased to a slow fall, like the soft patter of rain.
A boy of about 13 suddenly materialized next to her. He had dark skin, curly brown hair, and the same proud face as the mysterious girl. Around his neck, an eye-shaped pendant glinted in the red sun. He answered for her. "The change you're going to bring."
...
I jolted awake, gaping for breath. Cold sweat dripped down my brow as I began to shake uncontrollably. What was that? Who are those people? I glanced at my hands. Nothing. Not even a single drop of scarlet. I guess that I've been fooling people for so long, I've finally fooled myself. I recalled the resentment in Hazel's eyes, her silhouette against the backdrop of an unforgivable war. It haunted me down to my very core. No matter how much I blinked, the image just wouldn't go away.
She's right, I realized. I abandoned her and everyone I loved that day. Their blood is now on my hands.
Was it worth it? Can I really undo what's been done, or will my efforts be in vain? After all, two people are most likely going to have to die on this quest, just like it happened before. I have an inkling feeling I'll be a victim.
I was suddenly aware of the piercing eyes watching me carefully from the shadows of the corner seat. Thalia Grace regarded me curiously. "Dream?" She asked.
"Dream," I confirmed solemnly. I looked away, unable to meet those electrifying eyes of hers. They reminded me too much of Jason. I can't bring myself to think about the Son of Jupiter without a whirlwind of emotions accompanying it. Respect, resentment, admiration, and far too much guilt spun inside me.
"You want to talk about it?" She inquired. The tone of her voice was hard to place. There was curiosity, caution, and something else I couldn't quite read.
"No," I deadpanned. I wasn't trying to sound rude, but the nightmare left me in a pretty crappy mood. I wasn't quite ready to socialize with people yet.
Is there anything I should know? Anything that might help us in the quest?" She asked.
Yes. Your brother is actually alive, Roman demigods exist, and the world is about to end in four years.
"No," I lied smoothly. "Just a bad dream." She stared at me for a moment, studying me. She must have felt satisfied with my answer as she didn't comment any further.
She gazed out the window and I did too. Freshly fallen snow slowly drifted down from the white sky. I've already broken my vow. I promised myself I wouldn't lie any further, and yet I just straight up lied to the Daughter of Zeus right then and there. I wonder if I hope hard enough, can the snow shroud my black deception in an innocent blanket of white? I stared guiltily at my hands, imagining a thousand shades of scarlet slowly dripping down my palms. I swallowed thickly. Perhaps then Thalia will never have to see me for what I truly am.
A time for truth and a time for lies.
A time for innocence and a time for deception.
When will it be time to forget?
