Always Right Behind You
"So, come on, what do you fancy?" Nick asked as Leanne sat beside him, her hand tightly in his. She stared at the menu deeply, pulling faces at some of the dishes she had picked out.
"Christ...who picked that one?" Leanne looked disgusted, gesturing with her other hand at a dish -mostly containing olives. Nick stared too and chuckled.
"Well... Remember when Mum did that order of bar snacks?" Nick began as Leanne nodded. "She bought about fifty-thousand olives and I wanted to make a dent in the amount we have left...so..."
"Ya stuck 'em in a dish on their own? No offence Nick but it sounds 'orrible!"
"Can't be that bad...Tracy Barlow ate it."
"Yeah and she's lived off food in Weatherfield Prison. She's 'ardly Masterchef, is she?"
Nick agreed, "No...paying customer though. Besides, she wouldn't need to worry about cooking- she is with Robert."
"Cooking my backside. She ain't interested in his chocolate fondants. I reckon she just wants to get rid of another blunt instrument." Leanne laughed. Nick spat out the water he was drinking. The water he had ordered for both of them; he had kept his promise to not drink while she was pregnant and she was certain he would keep it. Unlike her other ex-husband. He drank it like it actually was tap water.
"You still haven't given me an answer," Nick smiled as Leanne met his gaze, he was wearing the cheeky smile she couldn't help but love. It made her giggle and feel safe.
"What I want isn't on the menu," she grinned back. He loved it when she was like this- funny and very cheeky.
"Care to show me what it is?"
"Well I could late-," Leanne was suddenly interrupted as a smiley Steph hurried over.
"Hiya!" She squealed. "How are you both? Baby okay?"
"Good thanks Steph. Me and baby are fine," Leanne beamed, patting her still flat tummy. Nick couldn't even hide the smile on his face.
Steph gasped, "Aw guys...that's adorable! And now you're back together again!"
Nick looked at Leanne awkwardly. Steph could sense she'd said something she shouldn't of straight away.
"Or not." She awkwardly smiled. "Sorry I just...I just assumed."
"Nah, it's alright, don't worry," Nick said. "Eventually we will."
"Oh will we?" Leanne laughed. "Who says I'd 'ave ya back anyway?"
"Ooh- awkward!" Steph giggled.
"Oh come on Leanne, nobody else would want to take you on!" Nick chuckled, enjoying the banter.
"Hm, we'll see about that." Leanne smirked as Steph continued to laugh.
"So, when are we expecting the newest member of the Bistro to be born?" Steph asked.
"Around June next year, early June." Nick said with a smile, patting Leanne's hand with his own.
"Aw, little Summer baby."
"Ooh I know," Leanne began. "That's when all hell breaks loose. I'll probably turn up to work with nappies comin' out me ears."
"Ha! That would be something to see wouldn't it?" Nick laughed just as Erica came in. She stopped smiling when she saw Nick with Leanne, he was holding Leanne's hand too.
Leanne's eyes followed Nick's as he looked over at Erica, who hadn't blinked since she had seen Nick with Leanne. She slowly made her way over as Steph frowned.
"Erm, shall I leave you all to it?" Steph asked looking between the three people. The three of them nodded at her and she walked away, behind the bar, serving all the other customers.
Nick gestured to the seat in front of him and Leanne. Erica sat but remained gobsmacked.
"So," Erica began, feeling a very large lump in her throat as she spoke. It hurt knowing Nick had slept with his ex-wife behind her back, and got her pregnant; weeks after Erica had lost hers and Nick's baby. It had been a few hours since Liz had broken the news to her in the back room of the Rovers. She had cried and wailed to Liz, hurt and betrayed by the man that was the father of her only ever child. The baby she would never have the chance to meet. "I guess congratulations are in order," Erica offered her best smile, pretending as though it didn't hurt seeing Nick fussing over Leanne.
Leanne felt bad for the fifty something woman in front of her. She herself knew what it felt like to be betrayed. Leanne remembered when she had found out about Peter and his sordid affair with Carla, behind her back when her and Peter had been trying for a baby. Alright the circumstances with Nick and Erica were very different- they weren't married or even together and their baby was very, very unplanned but even so- Leanne knew how it felt to have it stripped from you before it had even begun.
"We're sorry Erica," Leanne blurted out. "I really didn't want to leave you hurting. I know what it feels like."
Erica paused and glanced at Leanne before flicking her eyes back at Nick. "You were going through a rotten time Leanne. I understand that you were desperate, hurt and upset. What was your excuse Nick? Fancied a bit of easy? No offence Leanne."
"None taken," Leanne muttered.
"Don't talk about Leanne like that," Nick started. "You have no idea what she's gone through and what I saw that night."
"I can certainly guess what you saw." Erica replied.
"Do you really want to know then?" Nick gritted his teeth, the anger and desire to protect the woman sat next to him rising inside.
"Go on then, stun me with the truth. Did Leanne beg you to hop into bed with her? Or was it the other way around?"
Nick took a deep breath, not because he was afraid to admit it to Erica but he was frightened to tell- relive what he had seen Simon do to Leanne - and make Leanne relive it too.
"When I said the Bistro got trashed by some customers," Nick began. "Well, it was Simon."
Erica paused, thinking it all through in her head. That was the night Nick had cancelled their romantic evening in. She thought it was a bit odd that he stayed in the Bistro all night but again, she didn't think anything of it.
"Simon?" Erica looked horrified. "He attacked you?"
Leanne nodded deeply. "Nick came in and found me- looked after me, took me home and cleaned my bruises."
"Before snogging you senseless." Erica remarked, chuckling almost.
"It wasn't like that," Nick said. "It wasn't like that at all. We didn't plan it and we couldn't fight it."
Erica shook her head. "If you two had been struggling with your feelings for so long, why would you lead me on Nick? Kal had died and Leanne was single, she was there if you wanted her."
Nick shrugged his shoulders. Even he wasn't all that certain as to why it had taken so long for something to finally happen between him and Leanne. Probably all the distractions; Erica losing the baby, Simon hurting Leanne and Carla's downward spiral.
"Life got in the way, we drifted apart." Nick explained as Erica nodded, listening deeply. "When I saw her, battered, broken and in need of protection, I rescued her because I realised I love her."
Erica nodded again. "Let me ask you this then; if I had not of been pregnant but all the other stuff had happened, would you have asked me to be with you?"
Nick paused as Leanne watched him. She sort of knew what his answer would be and so did Erica. "Erm...You're a wonderful person Erica and you deserve happiness, really."
"That wasn't what I asked."
"Alright, fine. I guess not. I felt guilty- it was my fault you lost our baby and I thought it was cruel if I dumped you after you had lost the baby."
Erica smiled. "Bless. But you shouldn't have strung me along like that."
"I know," Nick said. "I am really sorry."
"And me," Leanne offered her genuine apology. "I never meant to hurt you or end up pregnant."
Nick agreed.
"Well nobody ever does, do they?" Erica started, thinking back to when she could say she was in the same shoes as Leanne. When she was carrying a baby. "Still, it's wonderful news and you deserve some happiness Leanne. You both do."
"Thank you," they said in unison.
"Okay," Erica smiled at them both before standing up and walking over to the bar to Liz and knocking back her gin and tonic in one.
"That wasn't awkward...was it?" Leanne said, watching Erica still. She was concerned. No woman should have been as calm as that. Well, Leanne knew she wouldn't have been if it was the other way round.
"Yeah...it was a bit," Nick winced. "Uh, glad it's over though."
"Yeah, that's true. Haven't heard anything from her yet."
"Who's 'her'?" Nick asked, emphasising the 'her'.
Leanne sipped her lemonade then turned to Nick. "You know, alchy, factory owner, fire starter."
Nick frowned. "Oh, Carla."
"Good guess," Leanne replied flatly. "D'ya think she'll say anything to us?"
"Well I think she's a bit distracted at the minute with all the fire stuff and the factory."
"Don't suppose it'll be any better once she sees Peter." Leanne admitted, swirling her glass of icy lemonade. "Naffed me of an' all when I saw him."
"Oh god, I know," Nick laughed. "I thought I was seeing a ghost."
"You did." Leanne smiled. Nick frowned. "Ghost of the wino."
The kettle at the Barlow's roared to life, screeching loudly as the water bubbled and Peter poured a teaspoon of coffee and sugar in a mug for himself. The other mug was for his ex-wife who was sat in the living room at the table, her tears beginning to stop. Carla's coffee had double what Peter's had, but she needed it. She needed him.
He carried the the drinks into the living room and placed Carla's down in front of her. She rested her head on her hands, sniffling as she stared at the mug.
"Careful, it's hot." Peter warned her as she went to gulp it down.
Carla smirked but her smile soon fell with tears. Her face crumbled and instinctively Peter reached for her arm. She shrugged him off immediately.
"Don't you touch me," she spat at him. He moved back in his seat and sat watching her like she would shatter right in front of him. Carla stared mindlessly at the mug as she continued to sob. Her voice was croaky when she spoke, still staring at her floral mug. "It's hot. Ha. If only they'd 'ave known how hot it would have been. Should 'ave come with a warnin' sign. They should have left me in there- better off dead anyway."
Peter shook his head repeatedly. "No Carla, no."
"Yes Peter! I deserved to die!"
Peter could hardly take hearing the woman he still loved admit she no longer wanted to live. It broke his heart hearing it, and knowing that he had been back on the street weeks earlier and had ignored her when she could have done with his support.
it was getting infuriating for Carla, hearing the same old people dish out the same phrases. Michelle, Aidan, Roy and Nick had all kept repeating to her that things would get better and one day the people that loathed her would come to forgive her for her mistake. But time had gone by and she had lost the support of Nick, who was offering his comforting shoulder to his ex-wife that was pregnant with his kid. Now she was faced with her own ex-husband- offering the puppy dog eyes that were so familiar. Partially because she had fallen in love and hatred with them, and also because Simon had flaunted his eyes at her the previous night when they talked.
"Car," he reached across the table again and she finally caved in. His arm grazed her and she could feel all kinds of emotion. Love, anger, regret and aching pain.
She looked up at him from beneath her black smudged eyes.
"I hate you," she whispered. "Everythin' we 'ad, everythin' we were."
Peter shook his head again, trying to tighten the grip on the distant woman that was in front of him; trying to push him and warn him to stay well away.
"You don't mean that."
"I bloody do. You are poison Peter. Posion." Carla spat, gritting her perfect white teeth at him. "You are as much poison to me as the Vodka I was knockin' back before."
"I can fix you. I want to help you."
He really did. He couldn't help but want to protect her and put a plaster over the open wound she had. He wasn't enough, not any more.
Carla now shook her head violently as a single tear glided down her cheek. He reached to wipe it away but she grabbed his hand, tight. "Get off. I hate you and I want nothing to do with you!"
He resisted the force she had and pulled on her hand tighter, bringing her closer. "I don't believe you. We could have a wonderful life together Carla. We could travel, see the world and live life."
"What, with you?" She sarcastically laughed, trying to pull her hand out from his. "Never Peter. Never ever again. You 'ad your chance and you blew it."
"It doesn't have to be that way- we could fix things- sort your life out before...before," Peter started, practically begging. Carla cut him off right away.
"Before what?! The guilt takes over Peter? Believe me- it already 'as and there is no goin' back!"
"I want to help you, I want to make it all go away."
"No, you just want back what you lost. You lost everything we 'ad and more Peter! What did I do wrong, hm? Did you ever feel unloved?!"
Peter stood, moving closer to Carla slowly, like she was a dangerous predator- ready to launch at him.
"I know I messed up. I know every bloody day when I wake up and you aren't there! I know Carla- I want to fix you before you well and truly break! Just let me in!"
Carla launched at him with her fists, slamming them hard into his back, stomach and using her legs to kick his. "I hate you! I hate you!" She roared at him as he cowered, putting his arms around his body as a shield. "I wish it was you that had died and not her...not my little baby girl," Carla sobbed, collapsing on the floor in a heap.
Peter sat beside her but didn't dare touch her. She wiped her tears on her jumper and continued to sob. Peter wanted to cry too; it had been over a year since her miscarriage and he still had not been able to grieve properly. Unlike the death of an adult, their precious daughter had no funeral and no memorial to leave a bunch of daisies on each time that awful date passed. She was forgotten by others but deep inside Carla and Peter- always there and always living inside.
Carla's tears halted and she looked up- staring at the wall ahead. "Today," she whispered, her voice hoarse from all the screaming and crying.
Peter tilted his head, encouraging her to go on.
"It'd have been 'er first birthday today." Carla admitted, surprised that she was able to go on. "Doctor reckoned she was due on October 27th."
Peter gulped down hard, unable to swallow, breath or speak.
Carla took it upon herself to carry on.
"It seemed like a good day to be born y'know. Not quite November- so the sun would still shine. But Christmas was just a few weeks away and the leaves would still be crisp, golden and flooding the pavements. I'd had names. A list of 'em, buried in me desk. I sat one night in the factory, when I was s'posed to be working and wrote them down. You weren't there- said you 'ad a friend to see or summat. Little did I know it was probably a bunk up in some 'otel with the babysitter."
Peter felt horrible and sick. He wanted a time machine- rewind back to when he had nothing to do with Tina and Carla was all his.
She liked the silence. Even though he hadn't said a word for almost ten minutes she liked it. Carla knew he was there and he was listening.
Another deep breath and she carried on. "That's why we can never be together," Carla said, rising slowly and walking away from Peter.
Peter frowned. "What?"
Carla stopped at the door, clutching the handle so she could stand up. "Four letter word," She replied, turning slightly so she could meet his eyes.
"Baby? Fire? Nick? Love?" Peter asked.
Carla shook her head tearfully. "Tina."
She slammed the door shut behind her and melted into tears as Peter did the same.
Eva sat at the chair next to Jason. She was saying her goodbyes for the night and she couldn't help but feel both relief and disappointment.
"Okay then darlin'," Eva began, leaning over Jason. "I'm goin' home now so I'll see ya later."
"Right, okay," Jason replied. He leaned forward to kiss Eva, but a sharp pain in his abdomen blinded him. "Agh," He groaned, lying back down again and holding his stomach where it hurt.
"Jason!" Eva cried. "I'll get the doctor!"
"No!" Jason shouted, removing his hand from his stomach. "No...I'm fine! Just stop fussing and get out!"
"Don't be like that spud," Eva said.
"Well stop treatin' me like a bloody patient!"
"But I want you to get better." Eva sighed. "I love you."
"Well I am sick of you caring for me like a kid! Just stop it and go 'ome!" Jason barked back. "I don't need ya! I managed fine without ya!"
"Jase," Eva pleaded, her eyes welling up. "Please."
"Go Eva."
Eva did as she was ordered, grabbing her stuff and rushing out of the room, and the hospital in hysterics. She sobbed against a wall, letting it all go. Eva was not a crier and yet here she was, blubbering like a baby because her fella had snapped at her. She needed a break, a night off. Eva rummaged in her bag and pulled out her mobile phone. She searched through the contacts and found her buddy- her partner in crime- literally.
Eva placed the phone to her ear, hearing the sound of the ringing and her hoop earring smacking against her phone.
"Eva?" Kylie asked as she answered.
"Hiya hun... fancy a night out?"
"Yeah!" Kylie said down the phone. "Tonight?"
"Yeah, is it a problem?"
"No, no- I'll get me best kit on and the Ultra-Hold Hairspray on me hair."
"Oh aye," Eva smiled. "Get ready for a wild night out!"
Sorry this is such a short chapter but I have really struggled to find the time to write! I will post the next part of this soon! Make sure you all keep reviewing and stuff- it is so great that so many of you have stuck with this fic as I know it is dull and no where near as good as some of the others! Thanks again! :-)
