Chapter 39

"Are we there yet?" Yang asked, again.

"That wasn't funny the first ten times you asked that and it's not funny now." Weiss growled.

"There it is!" Fox suddenly called out, smirking as he heard everyone running to the window, and chuckling once he felt everyone glaring at him upon realizing their destination was nowhere in sight. "That's what it'll sound like when one of you spots it." He remarked, waving his hand over his sightless eyes with a teasing grin as he did.

"Look, I know that everyone's bored," Coco pointed out, "but barring any unexpected bad news, we should be back at Beacon by the end of the week."

"Bad news everyone: looks like our trip back to Beacon is going to be put on hold," Blake suddenly declared as she got off of her scroll. "I just got done talking to my Mom: apparently there's some trouble stirring up in Menagerie."

"Look, no offense, Blake, but I'm sure your parents can handle this one without us," Ren said with a groan. "After everything that's happened, we don't have any reason to head up to Menagerie."

"How's this for a reason!?" Blake growled out as she showed an image on her scroll.

Qrow, having taken a sip of his liquor, promptly spat it out as he took note of the figure in the photo. "Is...is that Barmak?!"

"Man, that guy gets around." Jaune couldn't help but remark. "Still, this feels like a trap."

"Of course it's a trap," Yang deadpanned. "It wouldn't be him if it wasn't, but he's the only loose end we've got in the Guardsman business we've been knee deep in. Once he's taken care of, you can all sleep in for a year and wake up to a buffet of all-you-can-eat pancakes for all I care."

"Welp, I'm convinced." Ren and Nora remarked simultaneously.

"Still, we do have a problem," Velvet pointed out. "Right now we're a few miles out from Beacon, which means that Menagerie is literally an entire continent away from our present location. We wouldn't be able to get there in time to help them even if we wanted to."

"There is one way." Yang nervously declared, looking to her mother as she did.

Raven blinked upon realizing what her daughter meant, giving an uneasy nod as she did. "I can create a portal to Menagerie, but one big enough to fit the entire plane through? I hope you realize that this would be my first time attempting that."

"I know," Yang said with a nod. "Which is why I won't hold it against you if you don't feel comfortable doing it."

"I never said that I wouldn't try." Raven remarked. "I just felt it necessary to point out that there's a very real chance of this failing."

"Well, only one way to find out, I suppose." Qrow decided.

Three Months Later

Teams RWBY, JNPR, and CFVY had been stranded on an unknown island after their failed attempt to teleport to Menagerie. Qrow and Raven, being the only experienced huntsmen in the group, took charge to keep the young ones calm. They had set up a campsite to live in, constructed a radio tower to call for help, and even went about continuing the groups' training. Unfortunately, most of the younger huntsmen and huntresses weren't very happy with the current situation.

"Alright, girls." Qrow stretched his arms as he gave Team RWBY their instructions for the day. "While Raven and JNPR are working on the radio tower and CFVY are out looking for food, I'm gonna set up a little obstacle course for you all. But until it's finished, how about we start with some sprints? Five laps around the camp."

"But yesterday was leg day!" Yang whined.

"You're a huntress, Yang." Qrow rolled his eyes. "Everyday is leg day."

"Hang on, where's Ruby?" Blake asked, concerned for her sister-in-law. "Is she okay?"

"Uh, I think she's having one of her… off days." Qrow cleared his throat, uncomfortably.

"Oh, gods." Weiss grumbled. "Last time she was like this, she made me wear a red wig and keep saying 'salutations.'"

"I'm gonna go have a talk with her. You guys go ahead and start your laps." Qrow ordered.

Reluctantly, the three huntresses started running around the campsite while Qrow went over to his youngest niece's tent. "Heyyyy, Rubes." He said, awkwardly. "How're you doing?"

Ruby sobbed, sadly, as she worked on Rose Thorn. "Miserable... bad enough we're stuck here, but I can't even hang out with Penny! Why did she have to go separately with Winter?!"

Qrow sighed. "Uh... look, Ruby, I didn't really know much about how close you two were, but I'm sure she's missing you just as much as you miss her."

Ruby sniffled, flashing a sad smile at her uncle. "You think so?"

Qrow paused as he thought back to when they freed Penelope from the memory unit. Ruby had recently adopted a new outfit similar to Penny's out of respect, and was excited to show it off to Penelope when they reunited. But when the fragmented Summer Maiden had possessed a new robotic body, Ruby was so excited that she performed one of the Polendina girl's signature hug tackles. And unfortunately for Penelope, Ruby's developing breasts were pressed against her face, making the android girl both embarrassed and aroused.

"Yeah. Pretty sure." Qrow nodded. "Uh, why don't you take a walk to clear your head? That ought to make you feel better."

"Oh... yeah…" Ruby rubbed the tears from her eyes as she slowly trotted out of the makeshift hut. "That'll be fun…"

Qrow sighed as he watched Ruby mope all the way down to the beach. "What am I gonna do with her?" He asked himself just before spotting the rest of Team RWBY running their laps. "YANG! I SAID SPRINTS!" He barked, sternly.

Yang angrily sped up. "I'M GOING TO SPIT IN YOUR NEXT MEAL!" She shouted.

"Ugh, I bet Raven doesn't have to deal with headaches like this with JNPR." He thought to himself.

Little did he know how wrong he was. Raven Branwen was currently trying to smother herself with a pillow as she listened to Jaune and Nora, currently doing some renovations to their hut, speaking to each other.

"Hey, if you had to get away with murder, how would you do it?" Nora suddenly asked.

"What?"

Nora shrugged. "Like, if you killed someone, how would you hide the body?"

Needless to say, Jaune didn't know how to react to this question. "Why the fuck are you asking me that?!"

Nora quickly held up her hands in a calming gesture. "Whoa, chill out, Jaune! It's just a question!"

"No, it isn't!" Jaune growled out. "That's like asking 'if you were gonna rob somebody, how would you do it?'"

"With clown masks and a hot air balloon."

Jaune groaned. "It's just super suspicious... wait, 'clown masks?' And a 'hot air balloon?' Just to rob one guy? I'm not talking about a big bank heist here, Nora. It's just one."

Nora shrugged. "Yeah, I understood the question."

Jaune could only gape at the hammer user. "Why would you-?"

"A guy goes into a police station to report a robbery, the cop asks 'by who?' And he says 'by some guy wearing a clown mask, who escaped in a hot air balloon!'" Nora smirked. "No one's gonna believe him! It's the perfect crime!"

Jaune just groaned. "That is the dumbest idea I've ever heard."

Nora sighed. "I don't think you're looking at the big picture here, Jaune."

Jaune shook his head in frustration. "Exactly how is one robbery supposed to cover the cost of a hot air balloon?"

Nora scoffed. "Are you kidding? Hot air balloons are dirt cheap these days. We've got jets and helicopters and shit. You really think anyone's gonna be in a position to demand an arm and a leg for some warm air in a basket? Now, clown masks on the other hand; those fuckers are pricey! You gotta get high quality."

Jaune gave a sarcastic nod. "Okay, so, uh, how do you pay for the FUCKING CLOWN MASKS?!"

"You don't!" Nora denied. "You steal them! You're a master-fucking-thief in this scenario! Have you not been paying attention to a single thing I've said?!"

Jaune groaned. "Okay, I'm done! I am done with this conversation! It's stupid - you're stupid - this is a waste of my precious time."

Nora scoffed. "What? You got a better idea?"

Jaune simply pulled out his sword and pointed it at her neck to demonstrate. "Yeah! You get a weapon! You point it at someone! And you tell them to give you their fucking wallet!" He then gave a worried blink as Nora scooted away with an uneasy expression. "What?"

"Nothing."

Jaune, still worried, quickly put away his sword. "What?"

Nora shrugged. "I'm just saying, that sounds awfully rehearsed. Pretty suspicious."

Jaune couldn't help but blink in shock. "What?! What the fuck're you talking about?! Me?! I wouldn't-!"

Nora quickly held her hands up in defense. "Whoa! Easy, dude! I don't want any trouble!"

"But I'm not-!"

Nora shook her head in response. "Look, let's just agree to drop this conversation, and I won't tell Pyrrha."

"But... mmm…" Knowing he wasn't going to win this one, Jaune just sat down, shut up, and went back to doing his work.

"... if I was gonna murder somebody, I'd dissolve them in acid."

Needless to say, Jaune could only groan. "Okay, what the fuck?!"

"My thoughts exactly, Arc." Raven remarked as she desperately tried to clear her thoughts of the idiocy she had just heard. "My thoughts exactly. Grab the tools. We're going to distract ourselves by preparing to fix the radio tower. And we're gonna do it quietly!"

Ren held up a finger. "Uh, I understand these weren't the exact circumstances Yang had in mind but… I was promised I could sleep in for a year." Raven growled, prompting the tired young man to roll off of his cot. "I'm coming. I'm coming."

Meanwhile, Ruby sadly strolled across the beach. "Depression… loneliness… confusion…" She whimpered to herself as she gazed at Rose Thorn. "Why did you have to leave me, Penny?! Why didn't you at least say goodbye?!" She mourned out loud. "Who's supposed to be my best friend while you're gone?! Ren?! Yeah, right! He's not even a shade of green… he's more like a… shamrock."

Just then, the hooded huntress heard some commotion coming from a portion of the crashed plane. "Hello?" Her curiosity temporarily overshadowing her grief, Ruby made her way towards the crash site. "Yang? Is that you? If this is a joke, it's not funny!" On the other hand, Ruby noticed that Yang hadn't been in her usual joking behavior, so perhaps this was a trapped animal of some kind, instead. So against her better judgement, Ruby used Rose Thorn to dig away the debris until she found the source of the noise, causing her to gasp in shock. "Hello…" She smiled.

Back at the campsite, the remainder of Team RWBY met with Qrow to discuss the next step of their training. The former Guardsman proudly made the final adjustments to his latest project before turning to face his students. "Alright, kids." He cleared his throat. "During a huntress' training, there will be a moment where their teacher attempts to 'break' them so they may overcome their civilian mindset and be prepared to put themselves in dangerous situations for the sake of those they're trying to protect. That way, they are prepared for the responsibility of being a true huntsman or huntress."

Yang blinked. "Uh, Qrow, we went through all of this ages ago back at Beacon. True huntresses right here."

Weiss nodded. "I never thought I'd say this, but I agree with Yang. We are more than capable of dealing with dangerous scenarios."

"Oh, really?" Qrow asked, skeptically. "Then, Yang, what is the Huntress/Huntsman motto?"

"'When in doubt, rub one out.'" Yang grinned.

"I am going to break you, Yang Xiao Long." Qrow promised.

"Ooooh, I'm shaking in my boots!" Yang replied, sarcastically.

Qrow shrugged. "We'll see about that. Inside this tunnel, I've constructed an obstacle course designed to test your reflexes and your mettle."

Yang smirked. "But all I've got on me is some copper!"

Qrow joined the others in groaning at the bad pun before nodding to his niece. "Alright, Yang, you can go first. On your mark... get set…"

"This is so stupid-" ...and that was as far as Yang's commentary got before Qrow fired at her. Luckily her aura took the blunt of the damage, but it still hurt like hell.

"OW! Okay, I'm going! I'm going!" The blonde brawler calle out before she entered the course, quickly jumping over a few hurdles, and shooting at four cones, and breaking through a wall. She then jumped over another hurdle, only to come face to face with some land mines.

"HOLY FUCK-!" She exclaimed before the mines exploded in her face, pushing her back a little. She tried to get up, only to discover something was shooting at her.

"Oh, my gods! Where is this coming from?!" She cried out as she ran through a nearby door, only to discover she had entered an active battlefield. "Who are these people?!" she yelled out as several Grimm suddenly appeared. "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!" Finally, after five minutes - give or take - of ever-escalating danger, she somehow managed to make it out of the course, battered, bruised, and low on aura, but alive.

Needless to say, however, Blake was worried sick by her wife's condition. "Oh, my gods! Yang, are you okay?!"

Qrow meanwhile just gave a satisfied nod. "I think that timing was... acceptable, Yang."

Yang just growled. "What... the fuck, Branwen?"

"Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Hello! Hello!" Ruby called out excitedly as she approached the group, completely ignorant of what had just happened.

Qrow just smiled in response. "Ruby! Good to see you're feeling better. I've got a little exercise for you, inside this tunnel-" He was cut off when an explosion shook the ground. Ruby had run through the obstacle course in under a second with barely a scratch, though the course was now a smoking crater.

Despite the shocked looks everyone gave her, Ruby just smiled. "OKAY, THAT WAS FUN, BUT I NEED TO BORROW SOME TOOLS FOR SOMETHING, DON'T ASK WHAT, GOODBYE NOW!"

Qrow blinked. "Um... I think that's enough for today."

Yang nodded. "Yeah."

Qrow sighed. "I'm... gonna go help Raven with the comm-tower."

"Don't worry, little guy." Ruby whispered, lovingly, as she readied the welding torch sometime later. "I'll get you fixed up in no time! And then, we're gonna be beeeeest frieeeeends…"

Meanwhile, Raven and Team JNPR had finished their own little pet project; an android similar to the original Penny Polendina but without the Maiden soul. Once activated, the android stood erect and saluted its new masters. Raven seemed elated. "Finally! A worker who knows when to shut up! This little baby will make fixing the radio tower much easier!"

"Hey, it kinda looks like Ciel." Nora noted, pointing out the synthetic skin tone and clothing.

"... can it talk?" Jaune asked.

At last, the android gave a polite bow. "Bonjour."

"Ugh!" Team JNPR groaned.

"Why?! Why is it still French?!" Jaune grumbled, bitterly. "Why not Spanish? Or Japanese? Or German?!"

"Hey, as long as she can work, it doesn't much matter what she says." Raven remarked.

"Wow. That's a real fucked up thing to say." Ren replied.

Back at Blake and Yang's hut, the cat Faunus was helping treat her wife's wounds. "Better?" She asked.

"Yeah, it'll take more than that to keep me down." Yang replied as she finished tinkering with her prosthetic arm. "Good news! The vibration function still works!"

Blake shuddered at those words as her face reddened. "Ooooh, the vibration function…" She sighed, blissfully. "That thing is a godsend." She then frowned upon realizing something. "Yang, are you okay? Usually this is the part where you make a joke about 'giving your kitten her cream' or something like that."

Yang simply scoffed. "Oh, yeah: I'm fantastic! I'm just still dealing with the fact that Weiss' family thought it would be funny to mess around with mine!"

Blake couldn't help but wince. "Well, when you put it like that…"

Yang shook her head in frustration. "I mean, I get that Weiss herself is innocent in all this, and that Winter wasn't really involved in it either, but why did Ruby have to decide to go and befriend the girl who may as well as be responsible for all this!?"

Blake, knowing she was referring to Penny, simply glared in response. "Now hold on a minute…"

"Well, okay, I suppose that isn't fair to Penny or her 'sisters'," Yang declared with a sigh. "She didn't ask to be created, and she wasn't the one who told 'Agent Rose' to pretend to be my mom...but that's the worst part of it all: I'm not entirely sure that… thing that I thought was my mom was pretending to care about us!"

Blake shook her head, giving a comforting grin as she did. "I'm sure that she…"

"Oh, who am I kidding? I know she cared about us." Yang remarked with a grin before giving a groan. "But it's just...it's just all so messed up! I've got so many questions racing through my head, and Penny, the one person who might have some answers for me, isn't even around to give them anymore!"

"I know it's hard, but…"

Yang simply growled in response. "I swear: sometimes it feels like I'm trapped in a video game, or an attempt at making an anime, or even a fanscript crafted by two random guys on the internet... and I'm not even entirely sure that they're both actually guys!"

Blake couldn't help but blink. "...this conversation is starting to get a little meta."

Yang simply sighed. "I...I'm sorry: I know you're trying to help but part of me is beginning to wonder if any of this is even real! I mean…" ...and that was as far as Yang got before she found herself getting cut off by Blake quickly locking lips with her.

"That 'real' enough for you?" Blake asked with a smile as she broke the kiss, giving a sigh as she did. "This isn't easy for any of us, you know. Weiss is still racked with guilt for the part her family played in...all this, and I can't even imagine how Ruby must be feeling with everything that's happened, but one thing I do know is that we're here for you: all of us are." She smiled as she wiped a tear from Yang's eye. "I know that you're struggling with all the lies you've been told over the years, but know that I've never lied when I say that I love you, Yang Xiao Long."

"...being awfully chatty right now, aren't you?"

Bake snorted. "You were there for me not so long ago: figured I would return the favor."

Yang smiled. "Fair enough, and I love you too." They quickly started to make out before Yang abruptly broke the kiss, a heated look in her eyes. "My room, five minutes, you handcuffed to my bed."

"Ma'am, yes, ma'am." Blake declared with a blush and her own "hungry" look in her eyes.

Sometime later, Qrow found himself raising an eyebrow at the messy way the duo were dressed. "You do realize that you two just earned yourself a few extra laps, right?"

"Worth it." Yang and Blake sighed, wistfully.

Suddenly, a voice rang over the radio. "Hello, Team RWBY? Is that you?"

"Svetlana?! Can you hear me?!"Raven rushed towards the radio, trying to improve the signal.

"Ms. Branwen? Is that you?"

"Yes! And I'm not alone!" The Chieftess explained. "We crash landed on an island after we left Atlas, and we're stranded! We need you to send a rescue team! Our coordinates are-"

As Raven spoke over the radio, Qrow turned to Team JNPR. "Which one's Svetlana, again?"

"The red girl of Team CPPR." Nora answered.

"Helped us take down Project Guardsman." Pyrrha added.

"Married the short guy and went off to start their own country." Ren added.

"And I'm pretty sure they practice commu-" Jaune started but was cut off by Qrow.

"Wait, did she give Ruby that dust vodka?" The drunkard asked, taking a sip of said vodka from his flask.

"Yeah." The team nodded in unison.

"Ah. And is she competent enough to send help?"

"I'm sorry, did you say nineteen or ninety?" Svetlana asked.

"I said eight." Raven corrected as the signal began to fade out. "Please, send help fast! We're running low on supplies!"

"Fear not, my friends! You can count on me!" With that, the signal finally cut out.

"So, what's going on?" Nora asked.

"Well, I don't want anyone to get their hopes up…" Raven replied. "But if we hold out for just a little longer, we'll be rescued any day, now!"

Jaune simply nodded. "Barring any further surprises, that is."

Just then, Ruby came running up to the group, covered in grease and oil stains. "Hey, guys!" She smiled, warmly.

"Ruby!" Qrow examined his niece for any injuries. "Are you okay? Where have you been?"

"Oh, I went for a walk, like you told me!" Ruby clapped her hands together and jumped with glee. "And now, everything is going to be great, forever!"

"Wait, you were miserable." Weiss noted. "What happened?"

"Oh, sorry." The hooded huntress replied, calming down. "Where are my manners? I haven't even introduced him."

"Introduced… who?" Blake asked, her cat ears drooping from anxiety.

In response, Ruby turned around and cupped her hands over her mouth. "Freckles! Come!" She shouted, emphasizing with a whistle. The others looked on in confusion, worried that she might have found some wild animal and was about to bring it into the camp. However, their confusion turned into fear as they felt the ground shake from what sounded like footsteps coming from the beach. At last, a mechanical behemoth stomped into the campsite, wielding heavy artillery and thick armor plating. In spite of everyone else's frightened expressions, Ruby's smile grew wider as she turned back to the others.

"Everyone! I would like you all to meet Freckles!" Ruby motioned to the towering machine behind her. "Freckles! Say 'hello.'"

"Enemy targets spotted!" "Freckles" stated as he spotted all the weapons everyone was holding. "Firing main cannons!"

"No! No! Bad, Freckles!" Ruby scolded. "Those aren't enemies! Those are our friends! Down!"

"Yes, master." The robot obediently disarmed its weapons.

"Bad, Freckles." Ruby scolded one last time for good measure before turning back to the group. "So, what've you guys been up to?"

The others could only stare, nervously.

To Be Continued