Before we start, just want to tell everyone to stay safe out there. Wash your hands, stay home if you're sick, and be aware of what is happening. I hope this chapter can cheer people up in this time of fear and worry.

Btw, the scene with Joey, Tea, and Marik is one of my favorite scenes of the entire series, and why Abridged!Marik is my favorite character.

I don't own anything other than this fanfic and the computer used to write this fanfic. Enjoy!


-Abridged series.-

"Mind speaking."

Normal dialogue.


The group was at Yugi's house, with Joey wolfing down another sandwich. "Alright, full of lunch, feeling good, I'm ready!" he exclaimed.

"To be productive today?" Tea asked.

"Nope, to watch another video!" Joey said, with Tea sighing in response.

"Alright, I'm loading it up, give me a few seconds," Yugi said as he loaded up the home computer and clicked on the next video. "Alright, you guys ready?" Joey, Tea, and Tristan gathered around as Yugi hit play.


Across town, Mokuba was surfing the web while Kaiba was working once again in his office. As he was looking through his bookmarks, Mokuba noticed that he had bookmarked the playlist of videos.


"I haven't watched one of these in a while," he thought. Keeping the volume down so as to not disturb Kaiba, Mokuba clicked on a random video and clicked play.

-Yami: Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged, we update almost as frequently as VG Cats.-

-Joey: Hey Serenity, guess what? The doctors told me your blindness subplot was only temporary after all, because the writers want you to become a regular character. That means you're gonna be able to see again! – "Oh yeah, you spent all the money on duel monster cards," Tea remembered.

"Looks like you're off the hook," Yugi said.

"I was never on the hook to begin with," Joey said a little annoyed. "All that money I won went straight to the surgery, no question about it."

"You sure you didn't buy a single pack with any of that money?" Tristan asked.

"Not a chance!" Joey fiercely responded. Tristan chuckled a little as the video continued.

-Serenity: That's awesome Joey!-

-Joey: Hang in there sis. I'll have somebody stop by later to pick you up.-

-Serenity: Please tell me it isn't going to be…-

-Tristan: Hello lover!-

-Serenity: Tristan. – "Hey, Serenity loves it when we hang out. What's so bad about being with me?" Tristan asked.

"You don't want me to answer that for you," Joey said clearly aggravated.

The aggravation then turned into light laughter at the intro sequence. "So should we call this 'Title sequence, but it's entirely my voice'," Tea asked.

"Good idea," Yugi agreed.

-Tea: Oh my god! It's every fangirls dream come true! – "What fangirl dream is that?" Tristan asked.

"I mean, considering Marik and Bakura in the last video, it isn't too much of a stretch to say that dream involves those two," Tea said.

-Marik: Somebody call an ambulance. This limey needs urgent medical assistance. Apparently, he has wanker's cramp! – "What's that?" Yugi asked.

"Never heard of it, but considering what 'wanker' means…" Joey trailed off.

Yugi thought for a second and realization was on his face. "Okay, that puts things into context," he said. Tea rolled her eyes at the two boys, while Tristan was still confused.

-Joey: Oh no, Bakura speak to me!-

-Bakura: Wanker's cramp. The most deadly of all British diseases. – "Since when do diseases have a nationality?" Tea asked.

-Solomon: Don't worry, I'll take him to the hospital.-

-Joey: Good idea. While you're at it, you might want to get that harpoon injury taken care of.-

-Solomon: What harpoon injury? – "Ugh," Yugi said quietly as he looked away at the blood coming from his grandpa.

-Joey: Hey innocent bystander, thanks for helping out our friend.-

-Tea: May I just interject so that I can say 'hummina, hummina, hummina!' – "So Tea, have a thing for Marik?" Tristan teased.

Tea shook her head. "He isn't my type, I'm hopefully waiting for someone else" she said quickly glancing at Yugi.

-Marik: Silence fools! I-I mean you're welcome. – "Oh no, this is gonna be good," Joey said.

"I am curious to how this played out. This was when you first met Marik, right guys?" Yugi asked.

Tea nodded. "Yep, he called himself Namu."

-Marik: Excellent, my vague evil plan is going perfectly.-

-Joey: You seem like a swell dude. What's your name pal?-

-Marik: Crap in a bucket! I didn't plan for this! Think of a fake name, think of a fake name. – Everyone was laughing as soon as Marik said he didn't plan for this. "That's literally the first thing you come up with when disguising yourself!" Tristan said.

-Marik: Um… my name is uh… um… Malik! – Once his name was revealed, the group lost it. Laughter filled the entire room, only slowing down when everyone had to take a breather.

"You couldn't be any more obvious if you had a huge sign over your head saying 'I am Marik!'" Tea said.

-Joey: Malik huh? That sounds kind of like Marik, the guy we're trying to defeat in this season. – This got another around of laughter from the group.

-Marik: Yeah, I get that a lot.-

-Tea: Hummina, hummina, hummina!-

-Marik: I also get that a lot. Those fools have no idea that it is really I, the evil Marik Ishtar, who plans to turn them against their best friend Yugi Moto so that I can rule the world!-

-Joey: Malik we can kind of hear everything you're saying. – Everyone In the room was silently laughing, smiles slowly creeping onto their faces. "Whoops," Tea said breaking the silence.

-Marik: Oh EFF it.- (Quick laugh) -Minions beat their collective asses!-

-Tea: Oh no, we're being attacked by Steves! – "Now that sounds weird," Tristan said.

"No, what's weird is that they aren't showing any of us fighting," Joey said as the screen showed an obvious edit.

"But I can hear the fighting… wait, did you guys really fight these guys?" Tristan asked.

"Are you kidding me? I showed those guys who's boss!" Joey said smiling and feeling confident.

"Ah yes, that explains how we were both captured by Marik," Tea said. Joey stopped smiling and lowered his head.

"Fine, just continue…" he said.

-Joey: Man, I love a good 4kids fight sequence. You can be as violent as you want, so long as nobody sees what you're doing. - "Wait, is that why there's nothing being shown, because it's too violent?" Joey asked.

"Are you guys sure you fought those guys?" Yugi asked.

"Well… I actually don't remember…" Joey said defeated. Tristan laughed a little, earning a quick glare from Joey.

-Tea: Somehow I have been captured.-

"There must be a lot of violence happening," Yugi said at another obvious edit. "Oh, there's the Wilhelm scream," he added.

-Joey: It is implied that I am being punched.-

-Tea: Doesn't this sort of thing usually happen to Mokuba?-

-Mokuba: I can't believe I've almost gone an entire season without being kidnapped. Wait 'till Seto hears about this. – "I think he's going to regret saying that, knowing his track record," Tristan said.

Mokuba was now paying kore attention because he was in the video. "Maybe I can finally stop being kidnapped in these videos," he said quietly.

-Steves: Surprise! – "There it is," Tristan said.

-Mokuba: Oh me and my big adorable mouth. – Mokuba blushed a tiny bit at being called adorable.

-Lumis: Look at them Steve. They have no idea that we are flipping them off underneath out cloaks.-

-Umbra: Yeah man, I'm doing it with both hands and they have no clue! – "What is that voice!?" Joey and Tristan both yelled.

Tea laughed. "It sounds weird, but I kind of like it."

"It's different, that's for sure," Yugi added.

-Lumis: In fact, they do not even know we exist.-

-Umbra: That's cause we're awesome.-

-Lumis: Yes. Now behold as I swoop down upon them like a ninja, and then preceded to rob them of all hope, again like a ninja.-

-Umbra: Do it man. – "Gotta admit, those two play off each other nicely," Tea said. "I want to see where this goes."

-Kaiba: I still don't see why we couldn't take the Kaibacoptor. You know how much I hate traveling by foot.-

-Yami: Quit your eternal bitching fancy-pants. – Joey burst out laughing. "I love this!" he said in between his laughs. "You really know how to make a guy laugh Yug," Joey said patting him on the back.

"Uh… yeah," Yugi said. Suddenly a thought came to him. "Hey Yami, you haven't watched a video in forever." There was a light from the puzzle, and Yami found himself in control.

"You gotta say that to him in real life," Joey said.

"I'd rather not," Yami replied.

Meanwhile, Mokuba gasped at the line and nervously looked at Kaiba, who was starting to write more aggressively. Glancing back at the computer, Mokuba lowered the volume a little more.

-Lumis: Greetings Earthlings.-

-Kaiba: Earthlings?-

-Lumis: Bow down and worship your digital ruler Seto Kaiba, for we have kidnapped your next of kin, the Mokuba Kaiba.-

-Kaiba: That figures. – "Wow, he really doesn't care," Tristan said. "…I mean, not the real thing, but this guy doesn't."

"It's kind of funny though," Joey said.

Mokuba shook his head, knowing that his brother would never not care if something happened to him.

-Mokuba: Whoa! I think I'm gonna throw up! – "Ew," Mokuba said, and was thankful the video didn't show anything.

-Lumis: We also have your friends Joey and Tea. If you refuse to duel us on top of that huge ass building, their lives shall be forfeit. Do not keep us waiting, for we get bored very easily. – "Let us know if you see anything up there, like coins, mushrooms, or stars," Tristan said, which everyone laughed to, including a small laugh from Yami.

-Kaiba: Couldn't he have just used the stairs like a normal person? I mean, is it really that hard? – "But then he wouldn't be able to be a ninja," Joey said, "And it wouldn't be as cool, because he could really jump."

-Steve: Enjoy your new home girly.-

-Tea: You Steves aren't going to get away with this! My boyfriend plays card games and he'll kick all of your butts! – Tea started turning red at the mention of Yugi being her boyfriend. She wanted to look over at Yugi, but knowing that Yami was now in control, she kept her focus on the video.

-Tea: Damnit, every time I meet a guy, he's either gay or a villain in disguise. – "Wow Tea, didn't know you were so judgmental," Joey said, to which he instantly regretted saying as he received a knock on the head from Tea. "Aw man, it was a joke. I don't really think that of you."

"Good," Tea replied. "Someone's identity shouldn't be frowned upon."

-Lumis: Prepare to face the wrath of your doom.-

-Umbra: Yeah, you guys are going down! – "I wanna see this duel. I still can't believe you and Kaiba ended up dueling together Yug," Joey said.

Yami nodded. "This one was tough, but Kaiba really pulled through in the duel, despite trying to deny that we were a team."

-Lumis: Correct Steve, because in this duel the loser will face a one-way trip to the Shadow Realm, right through the ceiling.-

-Umbra: Ooooh what a feeling when you're falling through the ceiling!-

-Lumis: As foretold by Lionel Ritchie.-

-Umbra: Damn straight it was. – "Whoa whoa, back up a moment. How does a ceiling lead to the Shadow Realm?" Joey asked. "Is that ceiling made of glass or something?"

"Yes it was. There was probably a portal to the Shadow Realm underneath," Yami explained.

"But why on top of the tower? If they really wanted to get rid of you, couldn't they just have nothing underneath, therefore making you guys fall?" Tristan asked. Silence was in the room, and everyone realized how dark things were getting. "You know what, ignore me, back to the video."

-Yami: Who the hell are you guys supposed to be anyway?-

-Lumis: We are the mooninites, and we are here to rob you of your Egyptian God cards, in the name of the moon.-

-Umbra: Better recognize. – "Of all the places out there, why the moon?" Tea asked.

"Wait, is that why that one guy sounds like that? Are the supposed to be aliens or whatever they call themselves?" Tristan asked.

"Did they say anything about the moon Yug?" Joey asked.

"Nothing, I'm pretty sure it's something just for this video," Yami replied.

-Kaiba: You want my God card? You'll have to pry it from my cold dead fingers. Stand back Yugi, I'm going to beat these freaks with one hand tied behind my back. – "Hey Seto," Mokuba said. Kaiba glanced over. "I know you're not to fond of these videos, but they're going to show your duel with those two rare hunters. Apparently, they're from the moon," he added with a little chuckle. "You sure you don't want to listen in?"

"Thanks, but no thanks," Kaiba replied.

Mokuba sighed. "Alright, but if you change your mind.

-Yami: No Kaiba, you need me.-

-Kaiba: I highly doubt that.-

-Yami: Don't you get it Kaiba? This is the episode where we put aside our differences and work together to combine our strengths.-

Kaiba: This is sounding dangerously close to a slash fic. – "What's a slash fic?" Tristan asked.

Tea took out her phone and looked it up. "Oh," she remarked.

"What?"

"Nothing, I don't think I could imagine a slash fic with Kaiba and Yugi, but I'm sure it exists somewhere."

"Don't tell me, does it have to do with that 'shipping' stuff again?" Joey asked.

"Bingo!"

Meanwhile, Mokuba was also confused and opened a new tab to find out what a slash fic was. Once he found out, his face turned red and he closed the tab. Knowing that Kaiba would be furious finding out what a slash fic between him and Yugi would be, he kept it to himself.

-Yami: Look Kaiba, we probably hate each other about as much as Konami hates Upper Deck, but unlike them we actually respect one another. So just this once, let's duel as a team! – "Huh."

"What's up Tea?" Tristan asked.

"It says on my phone that Upper Deck is a company that helps produce Duel Monster cards, but no mention of Industrial Illusions anywhere."

"Maybe it's another made-up thing for the video," Tristan said.

-Kaiba: Fine, just so long as I don't have to draw a smiley face on my hand or any of that bullsh*t. – This actually got a smirk out of Kaiba, but Tea wasn't amused.

"Hey! None of that is BS!"

"That smile helped me defeat Kaiba in the first place," Yami said confidently. "A reminder that my friends are always with me through every duel." Everyone smiled at Yami.

-Mokuba: Let me go you creeps! Ow! My adorable nose is shattered! – Mokuba touched his nose, not wanting to think how it would feel in his nose was shattered.

-Tea: Now to make my escape disguised as a simple cardboard box! – Joey and Tristan started snickering. "A plus disguise Tea. Good luck with that," Tristan said.

"Thanks," Tea deadpanned.

-Steve: Hey Steve, why is that girl wearing a cardboard box on her head?-

-Steve: Beats me Steve, you want to go play racquet ball later? – "Guess it didn't matter," Yami said. Everyone started laughing, even Tea.

-Tea: Geez, how does Solid Snake always make it look so easy? – "Let's see, find a box that's big enough to hide you, crouch down low, and have a military background," Tristan said. "It's not too hard."

-Joey: Hey, what's the big idea, let me go ya big palooka! – "Oh no, I don't wanna watch this…" Joey said. "This was when Marik took over my mind, and I thought Odion was Marik."

"You don't have too if you don't want to," Yami said. "We can skip this part."

"…No, I mean… I think our duel on the pier is coming soon. I can't just run away from the past like that. I'll keep watching. Plus… I'm a little curious about what's gonna happen," Joey said.

Yami smiled. "Alright then, let's watch."

-Odion: Certainty, but first we'd like you to sign your name on this contract, then you are free to do as you will. – "A contract? What does that have to do with anything?" Joey asked.

"I can't make out any of the words, except for… Oh… I wouldn't sign that if I were you," Tristan replied.

-Joey: Fine, I'll sign your thing, but then you gotta let me go, okay. – "Wait a minute, your hands are tied, how are you signing the contract?" Tristan asked.

"Didn't you know, I can move things with my mind!" Joey answered.

"Seriously?" Tea asked.

-Marik: Now that Joey Wheeler has signed that binding contract, he had unwittingly agreed to have his name legally changed to Steve. His mind is now mine to manipulate. Ahahaha! – "Oh, so that's why," Joey said.

-Joey: Nyeh? I will obey, master Malik.-

-Marik: It's Marik you fool!-

-Joey: Whatever. – There was a pause, and a gradual laughter started to fill the room. Yami, Tea, and Tristan turned towards the source, surprised at who it was.

"Man, even under brainwash, I still know how to screw around with bad guys," Joey said in between laughs.

-Lumis: You have no chance against our supreme decks. For all of our monsters have been modified with power-boosting mask cards.-

-Umbra: Smokin'. – "Whoa, can those be made into real cards?" Tristan asked.

"Maybe, if Pegasus was available," Tea said.

-Lumis: On the moon, we have evolved beyond your primitive Earth card games. A typical moon card game can last up to five millennia. – "Wow, that long?" Tea asked.

"Have you ever heard of a duel going on for that long Yug?" Joey asked.

"Can't say so, but five millennia is how long I was trapped inside the puzzle," Yami realized.

"And all that time, there was a duel taking place on the moon," Tristan added.

-Yami: Actually that's not much longer than our card games. – Yami couldn't help but chuckle at that. If their duel with Dartz meant anything, then duels can last for a while.

"You know, I wonder how duels would go on the moon. That could be pretty cool," Joey said. "Think about it. Zero gravity, dueling in space, Earth in the background, and all the stars shining down on our monsters. It sounds right up my ally!"

-Lumis: Shut up. Also, our card games take place in a zero-gravity environment, without any oxygen. The losers all die of asphyxilation.-

-Umbra: Asphyxiation man.-

-Lumis: That's what I said Steve, Asphyxiation. The winners also die. – "… Okay I take it all back," Joey said, causing everyone to laugh.

-Kaiba: You guys are…-

-Yami: Look at the size of that nose, it's like the animators didn't even care. – The group laughed at the giant nose. "Wow, might want to get that fixed Kaiba," Tristan said.

Mokuba stared at the nose. He looked at Kaiba's nose, then back to the screen, then back to Kaiba. "I know what your doing Mokuba. I don't have time to care about how a stupid video sees my nose," he said.

"Uh, right," Mokuba said as he continued the video.

-Tea: Mokuba, you have to get out and warn the other about the army of Steves and their evil plot. Also try to see if you can get Malik's phone number for me. – "Did he already brainwash you into wanting his phone number?" Tristan asked.

"No he didn't!" Tea said agitated.

-Mokuba: Fat chance cootie breath! – "Excuse me!?" Tea yelled.

Mokuba was cheering, not because of what he said to Tea, but because the video was highlighting his escape.

-Steve: How the hell did that kid get past our defenses?-

-Steve: He was wearing a bright yellow vest, you'd think we'd be able to spot him.-

-Steve: Oh, we must be the worst Steves ever. – "You better believe you are!" Mokuba said smirking.

-Kaiba: After four grueling episodes, I have at last summoned Obelisk the Tormentor!-

-Yami: And it's all thanks to teamwork, right Kaiba?-

-Kaiba: Save it Yugi! We both know I'm never gonna believe in that Heart of the Cards crap, at least not until the final episode anyway. – "Hold on, is Kaiba going to believe in the final video?" Yami asked.

"Oh man, that I have to see," Joey said.

"Me too, we still have a long way to go," Tristan said.

Kaiba wasn't amused. "Me believe in that 'heart of the cards' garbage? Right, when pigs fly."

-Yami: Heart of the what now? – "The cards!" Everyone told Yami.

"C'mon Yug, don't tell me your forgetting everything," Joey said.

Yami smirked. "Not a chance, especially not the heart of the cards."

-Lumis: Your Obelisk the Tormentor is no match for our secret weapon, the Quad Laser.-

-Umbra: Suck on that nerds! – "It doesn't look powerful," Tristan said.

-Lumis: Firing in three… two… one… Quad Laser go! Beholdeth and be transfixed by its trajectory.-

-Umbra: Yeah!-

No one said anything, but everyone had a smile on their face. Joey was sighing and trying to get comfortable, as if he would be here for a while. Tristan was tempted to pull out his phone and play the Jeopardy theme. Tea hummed and looked down at her arm, as if she was looking at a watch. Yami was inwardly chucking at the speed of the laser. Even Yugi was laughing inside his mind.

Mokuba was quietly laughing as well. Kaiba glanced over at Mokuba watching the video. Even though he didn't care about what the video was showing, he was at the very very least happy that Mokuba was enjoying this part.

-Yami: Exactly how long is this going to take?-

-Lumis: Just give it a minute. Soon it will connect with its target.-

-Umbra: Yeah it will go right up your butt!-

-Lumis: I said what what.-

-Umbra: In the butt.-

-Lumis: I said what what. – "Please don't tell me that's going to repeat for the rest of that video," Kaiba said.

"If it does, I'll turn it off," Mokuba said.

-Kaiba: I've had it up to here with your nonsense. Obelisk, attack their life points directly!-

-Lumis: Impossible. Nothing can defeat the Quad Laser, and any attempts you make to do so will only serve to amuse us…-

-Both: AH! – "Thank you!" Kaiba said, with Mokuba chuckling afterwards.

"Well, that was easy," Tristan said. "There should be a rule, if you play an Egyptian God, you automatically win, like Exodia."

"If that was the case, I would have lost my duel when Marik used Slifer against me," Yami said.

"Oh, right."

-Kaiba: Now we both have six locator cards which puts us in the finals. It's only a matter of time before we face off again in the duel arena Yugi.-

-Yami: Yeah, and then I'll get to kick your sorry butt for about the fiftieth time. Sounds like fun.-

-Kaiba: God you are so… idiot. – The group started laughing. "Is that the best insult you have Moneybags?" Joey said.

-Mokuba: Seto!-

Seto: Mokuba! I thought you were kidnapped.-

-Mokuba: I managed to rescue myself and I flew all the way over here so we can go and save Yugi's friends. – Mokuba smiled. "Hear that? I helped save the day!" he said confidently.

-Kaiba: Mokuba that's incredible! I'm genuinely impressed. For the first time in your life, you've made me proud to call you my brother!-

-Mokuba: Kay thanks. – "Well, that ruined it," Mokuba said sadly.

"That's why I don't bother with those videos. We both know that they're full of stupidity and lies," Kaiba said.

"I guess, but I saw you smiling a few times," Mokuba said. Kaiba didn't say anything. "I still kind of like them, and you can always take a break and watch them with me, if you want to."

Kaiba sighed. "We'll see."

-Yami: Let's go and save my friends!-

-Kaiba: Oh God damnit! I wanted the window seat. – "Hey, something Rich-boy and I agree with. Window seats are the best," Joey said.

-[avoid wanker's cramp – know your limits!] – "I think we all know our limits," Tea said.

-Yami: Leave Brittney alone! She's a human! – "Man, that's a throwback right there," Joey said.

-Lumis: I hope he can see this because I'm doing it as hard as I can! – "I can see it alright," Yami said. And with that, he gave control back to Yugi.

"Hey Yug, our duel will be shown soon, will you promise to watch it with me?" Joey asked.

"Of course," Yugi said. "I wonder what's going to happen with it? Is it going to be the next video?"

"Looks like you're still in the helicopter with Kaiba," Joey said looking at the thumbnail for the next video. He was relieved that there was another video before their duel.

"Let's watch it tomorrow after school," Tristan said. "I have to get going and finish my homework."

"Same," Tea said. Everyone nodded and headed out for the day.


And with that, another chapter wrapped up. Next is the filler video, ready for a trip down memory lane?

One more thing. I wrote a small one-shot that I will be posting shortly after this chapter! Be on the lookout!

Now to answer the reviews.

Arkadian97: I can't wait for Melvin too, hugs for everyone!

Kitsunelover300: I'm so happy you like this fanfic and yeah, thiefshipping is one of the best ships! I'm looking forward to all those moments as well.

SunsetScrewball: Thank you so much, I was a little unsure of the last chapter because it's been a while, but I'm glad it didn't disappoint.

Ronin Warriors Fanatic: Thank you!

LifeByTheCreed: I'm glad to be back!

Lord Darth Yoda: Don't you know that the main character is everything! Secondary characters? Screw them!

SailorDarkMagicianGirl: Thank you, I'm glad you liked the chapter!

thebishop8: I hope this chapter didn't disappoint. ^^;

MAJORMATT1234: I'm glad you liked this, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter too.

Borusa Ryalam: I love how everyone plays off each other, and in this episode, I love how Lunis and Umbra play off each other.

Scheffelman: Your wish is granted.

Xero the Reaper: That's why whenever a huge spoiler like that happens, I try to make it so either the video freezes, or something else happens so they don't find out.

Sunny Lighter: I'm glad to be back ,and thank you.

novelreader: I never thought about it that way, but you're right. I wish he did like them like Dan and Wayne do, but I respect that he's not into the series. Also, I read your reviews for the past chapters.

KatoGS123: Oh no, I think I broke you. Quick, get me 40 CCs of friendship!

Greer123: Thank you!

FANactic Writer: Oh I'm fine, but I'll let you know if someone needs a beating with a broom!

Rinfantasy: Lol, more arguments in favor of thiefshipping.

Ammolite Stone 487: I like the name Akefia. Is that a canon name, or is it a fan name for the thief king? Either way, I like it.

Guest: I think Canon!Marik agrees with you. I prefer thiefshipping, but angstshipping is good too.

Guest 2: Hope you enjoy

Apologies if I missed anyone. See you guys next time!

Next time: Episode 35 - A Tale of Two Tournies. Duel standby!