Alright, one more chapter before the Battle City Finals. We can do it, we can get through this filler! No one can stop us!

Jean: Actually! I can stop you because I am-

*Pushes him away* No one can stop us! I still own nothing expect my computer to write this chapter on! Enjoy!


-Abridged series.-

"Mind speaking."

Normal dialogue.


It was the weekend, and everyone was once again outside the local coffee shop, with Joey connecting his laptop to the wifi. As Tristan came out with everyone's drinks and snacks, the next video was seen on the screen.

"I think this is the last video before the Battle City Finals," Yugi said.

"Alright! I've been waiting for this!" Joey proclaimed.

"You've been waiting for this video?" Tea asked.

"Nope, I've been waiting for the Finals!" Joey exclaimed.

"But we have to watch this one first," Tea pointed out. Joey chuckled a little in embarrassment. Serenity giggled slightly behind him.

"Anyways… let's get started," Joey said. He was about to start the video when the group heard a familiar voice behind them.

"Don't tell me you're going to watch another one of those videos without me."

Everyone turned around, and Tea smiled at seeing who is was. "Mai! What are you doing here?"

"Just out doing a little shopping. I was heading home, but if you guys are watching another video, do you mind if I watch as well?"

"Of course you can Mai. Did you want a drink or anything?" Yugi asked.

"I'll grab one for you," Duke said as he got out of his seat. "You guys can start the video without me this time, I'll be right back."

"Thanks hon," Mai said. As Duke walked back inside, Joey clicked on the video.

-Yami: I just realized what the 'D' stands for in Yu-Gi-Oh 5ds. Don't watch it! – "5ds?" Joey asked.

"Hang on a second. Isn't that the one thing we saw in another video, where they said people were playing Duel Monsters on those weird motorcycle things?" Tristan asked.

"Oh yeah, I remember that… wait, so does the D stand for-"

"Hey, how about we move on from this?" Tea said quickly cutting Joey off.

"Good job," Mai whispered to her.

-Yugi: Man, this tournament feels longer than any given Metal Gear Solid cutscene, and only slightly less interactive. – "You know, Battle City was only one day, but watching these videos, it does feel longer than it was," Yugi said. Everyone agreed with him.

-Yugi: But at least we're on our way to the Battle City Finals.-

-Tristan: I sure hope we don't encounter any more intrusive subplots.-

-Jean: Did somebody say 'intrusive subplot?'-

-Tristan: Oh son of a bitch! – Everyone started laughing, especially Tristan. As the laughter died, Mai looked again at the screen. "Well, at least we know what this video is about," she said with slight disgust.

"I remember that jerk," Tea said. "But to be honest, being interrupted by him made the road to the finals a lot longer than it should have been."

Duke returned with Mai drink as the intro sequence played. "So, what do we have this time?"

"That movie star that came out of nowhere and delayed us to the finals," Tristan answered.

"Oh yeah… that did seem a little pointless," Duke said.

-Jean: Hello! I'm Jean-Claude Magnum. You may remember me from such films as Teenage Space Ninjas from Outer Space, Devil Ninja Vs. Santa Claus, and Devil Ninja 2, Electric Boogaloo. – "…I'm pretty sure none of those movies are real," Tea said.

"And if they were, no way I would watch them," Mai added. "Especially if they're all ninja themed."

-Joey: OMG! Jean-Claude Magnum? I'm your number one drooling idiot fanboy! Hey, do you mind if I start incessantly quoting all your movies? 'Cause I really, really, really like doing that. – "Hey, it's just like all of my fans!" Joey said proudly.

"What are you talking about? I haven't seen anyone fanboy or girl over you. Heck, Bakura has more fans than you, and he barely duels," Tristan said.

"Listen, Tristan. If I were you, I'd suggest stopping this conversation, or else things are going to go south really fast," Joey said, his hand clenching into a fist.

"I'm just saying," Tristan responded as the video continued.

-Jean: Mai Valentine! I recognize that cleavage anywhere. – "E-Excuse me!?" Mai yelled. "Well, even more reason to hate this guy."

-Joey: Wow Mai, I can't believe your being seduced by my favorite thinly-vailed parody of a Belgian kickboxer. You should ask him to autograph your boobs. Ooh better idea! Ask him to autograph my boobs! – Joey's face instantly flushed in embarrassment, and right next to him, a certain blonde was starting to get a little agitated… well, maybe 'a little' isn't the right way to put it.

"I swear, if this video is going to be filled with jokes and comments like this!" Mai said.

"Looking at the past times you were in a video, I'm gonna take a wild guess and say this isn't the last time were going to hear those jokes," Tea said.

Joey was still red but was slowly starting to calm down. "Geez, this video isn't holding anything back," he said, his hands still covering his face.

"Welcome to the club," Mai added deadpanned.

-Jean: I've been stalking you for the past year Mai. Ever since you beat me in a children's card game, I haven't been able to get you out of my head. – "Creep," Mai said quietly.

-Mai: Sorry pal, but I already have a love interest.-

-Joey: Who's that Mai? Is it Tristan? It's Tristan isn't it? For the love of God, tell me it ain't Tristan! – "Now that's a pair I'd never think of," Yugi said.

Tristan and Mai looked at each other, and both of them had a mutual agreement. "Sorry, but I have my eyes on someone else," Tristan said.

"Oh yeah, I'm aware," Joey said annoyed as he placed a protective hand on Serenity's shoulder.

-Mai: It's you Joey. – At that statement, Joey and Mai gasped a little. Everyone else turned towards the two. Tea smiled a little. She always thought the two of them were cute together, and she could see how much Joey truly cared about Mai.

Mai and Joey looked at each other. No words were said, but the two kept staring. A few seconds later, both had small smiles on their faces, as if they were thinking the same thing. A small blush appeared on both of them, and the two slowly turned away from each other, smiles still on their faces.

"Aww," Tea said quietly, while the others also stared smiling.

-Joey: But your ten years older than me. – Joey blushed again, but this time in embarrassment. Yugi leaned towards him. "I'm not sure you should be dating Mai this time," he whispered.

"I know Yug. I'm don't intend to date her now. I can wait a couple years after we graduate," Joey whispered back.

-Mai: I know, creepy isn't it?-

-Joey: Actually, this is the closest thing this show has to a normal relationship. – "…I don't think any relationship between any of us will be a 'normal' relationship," Tea said.

"Hey, that just makes them more interesting," Duke added.

-Jean: You may be a cradle robber Mai, but I still want you to be my wife. What do you say sugartits? – "Oh he did not just call me that!" Mai said loudly and angrily. "I get this video isn't exactly what he said, but this is so much worse," she added.

"Gives us even more reasons to hate this guy," Tea agreed.

-Duke: I know how she feels. Guys are proposing to me all the time.-

-Tristan: Duke I already told you I was joking. – "Whoa, Tristan and Duke eh?" Joey said. "Although, if those two were to date, it would mean they would leave Serenity alone," he added quietly.

"I doubt that would ever happen, I see my future self with a woman… although I wouldn't mind being with a man if he's my type," Duke said.

"And I see myself with one woman in particular," Tristan said eyeing Serenity again.

"Hey!" Duke yelled.

"Too late, I said it first," Tristan said.

"You know, you guys do fight like an old married couple," Mai noted.

"WERE NOT A COUPLE!" Tristan and Duke both yelled.

-Mai: Sorry Jean-Claude, but I would never marry somebody so selfish and superficial. – "Yeah! You tell him!" Mai cheered.

"I'd say 'look who's talking,' but that was then, and this is now," Tea whispered to Serenity.

-Joey: But Mai, isn't that exactly what you were like in Season one? Face it, the only difference between the two of you is about 20 pounds of silicone. – "First, stupid nicknames, and now implying that my chest is fake!? This one's testing me," Mai said will a little irritation in her voice.

-Mai: My breasts are not fake!-

-Everyone: Right.-

-Tristan: I don't believe you. – "Little late there Tristan," Joey whispered.

"I was being fashionably late," Tristan said with a smirk.

-Jean: If you won't marry me Mai, then I'm gonna challenge you to a duel, and if you lose, you have to become my wife!-

-Mai: I accept for no adequately explored reason. – "You know, he's got a point, you could've just said no and we could've skipped the entire… and I'm gonna stop talking," Tristan said seeing Mai's glare at him in the corner of his eye.

-Yugi: Hey I have a rather pertinent question. What does any of this have to do with anything? Seriously, aren't we trying to save the world from imminent destruction by vaguely evil forces? When did the love life of Mai Valentine become so freaking important? - "Implying that my love life isn't that important?" Mai asked.

"N-No, not at all," Yugi said waving his hands in defense.

"I know hon, I'm only teasing you," Mai said with a wink.

"I'm going to say it again, this really doesn't have much to do with anything. We never saw Jean-Claude again, and nothing really came out of this duel, nothing related to Marik or anything," Tea said.

"If our lives were seen like a TV show, I'm sure the audience would call this kind of video 'filler'," Duke said.

-Yugi: Is the next plot point going to revolve around Bakura's stamp collection? – "Bakura has a stamp collection?" Duke asked.

"I don't know, it doesn't sound like something he would collect, or maybe it is and we don't know," Serenity said.

-Mai: I summon my…-

-Yugi: It just pisses me off is all. – The group started laughing. "I'm sure it does. Got another rant to spout off?" Joey asked.

-Mai: I summon my Amazon Warrior in attack mode! – "That is a nice Amazon Warrior," Duke said staring at the screen.

-Jean: Your Amazon Warrior is no match for my army of celebrity ninjas. – Tristan chuckled. "Hey, look at those 'monsters'," he said with 'monsters' in quotes.

"I see one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and there's that one guy… Naruto was it?" Tea said. "And then the other ones are from other video games?"

-Yami: Why is everybody in this guy's deck a f*cking ninja!? – Everyone laughed at his statement. "Even the pharaoh can see how ridiculous this guys deck is," Yugi said.

"He's so sure that he decided to come out of the puzzle to say so," Joey added.

-Joey: Come on Mai! I know you can beat this assclown!-

-Yugi: But Joey, I thought you were Jean-Claude Magnum's biggest fan. Why the sudden change of heart?-

-Joey: I tried to deny it Yug, but I can't hold it back anymore. I think I felt this way from the moment I first laid eyes on her.-

-Yugi: You mean…?-

-Joey: Yes. I am in love with Mai Valentine… - Joey started blushing. He wasn't expecting a love confession, and not to Mai Valentine. He glanced over at Mai, who was also glancing at him.

Both turned their heads towards each other. Joey had a genuine smile on his face, and after a second Mai started smiling.

Serenity and Tea giggled a little, Yugi chuckled, and even though they didn't show much, Tristan and Duke were happy for their friend. The moment continued before the video added one more word to the love confession.

-Joey:'s breasts. – Once that word was added, there was an awkward silence between everyone. Mai's expression changed. She was now looking sternly at Joey.

"I uh… Whoever that is, it isn't me!" Joey said quickly pointing at the screen. He was starting to sweat, hoping that Mai would be more understanding.

"You sure about that Joey?" Mai asked. Said person was unsure if Mai was being serious or if she was just teasing.

"Of-Of course I am," Joey stuttered. "I love you for your personality, dueling skills, and pretty much everything that isn't your-" Joey quickly covered his mouth, just now realizing what he was saying. He quickly turned away in embarrassment, and Yugi gave him a pat on the back in support.

"Well, that was certainly something," Tristan said. Mai looked at Joey again. He really was a good guy, despite being an idiot sometimes. He was a lovable idiot.

-Joey: Even if they are about as real as a three dollar bill. – "Dude, stop digging your gave even further," Duke said. Joey growled at him a little in response. "Down boy, I was only joking," Duke added.

-Mai: My breasts are not fake!-

-Everyone: Right.-

-Tristan: I don't believe you. – "I'm really getting the feeling you don't believe her," Duke said with a small laugh.

"Ha ha," Tristan replied with sarcasm.

-Jean: When I win this card game, we'll be married Mai. But you won't just be marrying me, you'll be marrying the church of scientology. – "…What?" Mai asked.

-Jean: That's right babycakes, I'm a member of the Hollywood cult, just like every other deluded celebrity you used to like, such as Isaac Hayes, Jason Lee, and Rufus the Naked Mole Rat.-

-Yugi: Oh that's just what this franchise needed, another brainwashing evil cult. Seriously, that's what, five now? – "You could say that Hollywood is a cult in any universe," Duke said.

-Serenity: When I grow up, I wanna be just like Mai.-

-Joey: Serenity, if I didn't pay for your eye surgery, what the hell makes you think I'm gonna pay for breast implants? – Now it was Serenity's turn to blush in embarrassment.

"Don't worry Serenity. None of that is happening to you, especially at your age," Joey said. "If she ever did want those, it'll be when she's older."

-Mai: My breasts are not…-

-Everyone: Right.-

-Tristan: I don't believe you. – "You know what, we should start doing that whenever someone says something that isn't true, I'd love to see their reaction," Tristan said.

-Jean: I don't care if your breasts are fake Mai, I just want you to be my wife, and also for you to pledge millions of dollars to the church of scientology so that we can finally defeat the evil galactic overlord Xenu and protect the hapless thetans all over the world from being thrown into volcanoes! – "Okay, what is going on!?" Yugi asked. "What is this guy talking about!?"

"I guess anything is possible in Hollywood, even if nothing makes sense," Tea said.

"Weirdo," Mai said looking at the screen, telling them that that is what he really believes.

-Yugi: So let me get this straight. The only characters on this show who represent America are Jean-Claude Magnum, Rebecca Hawkins, Maximillion Pegasus, and Bandit Keith. Is it just me, or is Yu-Gi-Oh the most xenophobic show ever? – "Aren't we American too?" Joey asked.

"I thought we were Japanese according to these videos," Yugi pointed out.

"I dunno, still feels like we're American," Joey said. He wondered if his mind was playing tricks on him or something.

-Mai: I play Cyber Harpies. Destroy his remaining lifepoints!-

-Jean: I can't believe you beat me for a second time!-

-Tea: I can't believe we found a duelist even worse than Mai. – "Mai is not the worst duelist!" Joey exclaimed. "I remember when she beat…uh… wait, who did you beat again?" he asked Mai.

"I've beaten a ton of duelists, otherwise I wouldn't have made it to the finals," Mai exclaimed. "Just because you didn't see them doesn't mean they didn't happen."

-Yugi: I can't believe we actually acknowledged this worthless episode. – "An episode about me, worthless? As if," Mai said.

-Tristan: I can't believe it's not butter! – Tristan started laughing, followed by everyone else.

-Jean: If you won't marry me, then I'm going to kidnap you instead, since that appears to be the default response to anything on this show. – "Yep. Mokuba can agree," Tristan said.

-Yugi: A deceitful scientologist! Who would have thought?-

-Jean: Come to me Mai, we have to appear on Oprah so that I can proclaim my love to you while jumping on her couch like a giant infant. – "Okay, now that would be funny to watch," Tea said laughing.

"If he's going to act like a giant infant, he should at least dress up like one," Joey said. Mai started laughing real hard, and Joey started laughing too, glad that he could make Mai laugh like that.

-Ninja: Geez lady, those fake boobs are heavy.-

-Mai: My breasts are not FAKE! – Mai gasped. "Even watching that made me nervous."

-Jean: She's going to fall to her untimely death! What would L. Ron Hubbard do? – "What is it with this guy and celebrities? We get it, you're famous, can you say anything else that doesn't involve celebrities?" Tea asked.

-Joey: I see London, I see France, I see Mai Valentine's underpants. – "You see what?" Mai asked Joey.

"I saw London and France, that's all," Joey said trying to save face.

-Mai: Joey, stop gawking at my nethers and save my butt!-

-Joey: Aww, can't I do both? – "Wow Joey, you're quite the pervert in this video," Tea said. "Then again, you usually are," she added.

"H-Hey! Not as much as I used to be," Joey said quietly.

-Mai: Just shut up and catch me!-

-Joey: Okay, but whatever you do, don't let go until I say… - "Too late," Mai sang as Joey landed on her with a squeak in the video.

-Mai: It finally happened, I killed a man with my breasts. – There was a silence, which was soon broken with a laughter in the air. Everyone turned to see who it was that was laughing. "Okay, now that's funny!" Mai said as she calmed down. "You men better watch out," she said with a wink to the screen.

-Jean: So Mai, I don't suppose you're still sore about that whole attempted kidnapping thing, are ya?-

-Mai: Sorry Jean-Claude Asshole, but I'd rather have fake breasts than a fake religion. – "So you admit it?" Joey asked.

"What was that?" Mai asked.

"N-Nothing…"

-Jean: Looks like you win this round Xenu! – "Will you stop already?" Tea asked.

-Mai: Thanks for saving my life Joey.-

-Joey: Think I um be having the concussions now nyehnyeh. – "Huh, he sounds like he usually does," Tristan said, not noticing Joey's glare.

-Yugi: Now we can finally walk down this road and go to the Battle City Finals, which is exactly what we were doing before we were sidetracked by this redundant sh*tfest of an episode. – "Ha! Looks like your rant ain't done Yug," Joey said laughing.

"I guess not," Yugi said laughing along.

-Naruto: Why is everybody on this show a f*cking duelist? – "Hey, it's that guy again," Duke said.

"And as to why everyone is a duelist… Duel Monsters is a fun game," Yugi said. "It's something anyone can enjoy."

Everyone else agreed as the title appeared on the screen.

-[jean-claude magnum will be back in "ninjapocalypse now'] – "Remind me not to go and see that," Mai said.

-Yugi: So what do you plan to do once you reclaim your body?-

-Yami: Well that should be obvious. The first thing I'm gonna do is get laid, and then I'm gonna get laid again. Then do some crack and get laid some more. That's what I'm all about, getting f*cked. – Everyone slowly turned to Yugi, who was staring at the screen. "I… I'm pretty sure that's not what the pharaoh wants to do when he gets his memories back," Yugi said slowly.

"Are you sure, this video begs to differ," Joey said with a chuckle.

"Anyways, my point earlier still stands," Tea said to herself.

-Joey: That Jean-Claude Magnum. What a douchebag! I haven't been this disappointed by a talented actor since Christian Bale in Howl's Moving Castle.-

-I Want you off the f*cking set you prick! Are you a professional or not? Do I f*cking walk around, am I gonna walk around and rip your f*cking lights down in the middle of a scene!? Then why the f*ck are you walking right through. "ah da dah da dah da daah" like this in the background? What the f*ck is it with you!?-

Everyone looked at fading video in silence. No one knew what to say after hearing that rant. After a minute, Duke finally spoke. "Well… uh… that's one way to end a video…"

"I think that rant beats all of Yugi's rants in this video," Tea said. Yugi nodded in agreement.

"Guys, that was the last one before the finals!" Tristan exclaimed. "I think we're about get into the good stuff!" Everyone agreed. Not only were they excited, but elsewhere in the world, a CEO and his brother, and three siblings in Egypt were also going to experience the Battle City Finals videos.

"Hey, we should call Bakura and have him join us," Serenity suggested.

"Great idea," Yugi said as he got out his phone, dialed Bakura, and turned on the speaker. After a few rings Bakura picked up.

"Hello?"

"Bakura, it's Yugi! We're all at the café watching videos. Come and join us!"

"Oh sure! I'll be right over!"

Joey then spoke up. "And bring your stamp collection too!" he said with a chuckle.

"…I don't have a stamp collection."

"Riiiight."

"I don't believe you."


And that's it! Next chapter will begin the Finals, and most of the cast will be there to react to the next few videos, at least until the Virtual World arc. I stayed up pretty late last night to finish up this chapter because I was pretty busy these past few weeks, and yesterday I was busy with Go Fest 2020 (caught two shiny Giratinas!). But anyways, onto the reviews.

MAJORMATT1234: Hope you enjoyed this one.

Rinfantasy: You know its been a while since I've watched Duel Monsters when I can't remember details like that. ^^;

RenegadeForLife: I started watching YGOTAS when it was just ending the virtual arc, but I've saw the first episode when it was first uploaded, and then I took a break, and now I watch it all the time.

Chronosign: *sadistic smile* Yugi: Uh oh, now look at what you've done!

Soulless Anti-Hero: Florence: Yes I did, and I'll do it again if she tells me too.

thedarkpokemaster: ...Almost.

YumiStar: I like that episode too, even if it isn't one I watch too often, its still good.

raydark182: I'm still going to try to make the next chapter one chapter to keep the episodes aligned with the chapters, but I'll try to find a way to organize it so it won't feel so cluttered.

James95: Maaybe. And yeah, if she had an opinion, This wouldn't be a video Mai would watch again.

Ammolite Stone 487: That would be hilarious, but unfortunately 4kids is somewhere around. I don't know where, but they're there.

Johnny Spectre: Me and Bakura we will have our revenge! Him and me, we'll take your Leather Pants!

BrownLikeSugarD: Aww, you're welcome! It's been tough in the world lately, so I'm glad this is making you feel better.

Catfan1: Florence: Yes, I do like to break the fourth wall, but only if she lets me. Which I do.

Sunny Lighter: Man, Phineas and Ferb was a big part of my life, and I remember Candace's Mysterious Force idea from the movie.

Lord Leonidas: Oh yeah, can't get enough of Kaiba's roasting.

Ronin Warriors Fanatic: I may have Mai watch the Joey vs Johnson duel video, and for Zorc and Pals... well it's cancelled... but Yugi might watch the Suite Life of Zorc and Cody, and lets just say, Yami might have a strange feeling about it.

BDozer: Ooooh The Celtic Guardian Ooooh

Guest: In the Finals, when they get played. We did see them in Slifer's debut, and they'll be back very soon.

chaosmutated: Aww thank you so much!

Mari: Next chapter, the Ishtars will be back.

Mr Cloth: Yes.

Xero the Reaper: True. It was probably said for comedic exaggeration.

Apologies if I missed anyone. Until next time

Next time: Episode 39 - Card Games at 20,000 feet. Duel Standby!