Chapter Seven- I Don't Belong Here
Disclaimer - I don't own anything Twilight related, that all belongs to one Stephanie Meyer.
Authors Note: I've not much to say here apart from, here's chapter seven! I hope you enjoy and thank you for all the follows and favourites!
paulavara140: Thank you for reviewing! Hope you enjoy the chapter! :)
FourHorses: Awh, thank you for your lovely review! I'm glad you're enjoying the slow-build! I really wanted to establish Clara in Forks before getting deep into vampire territory. I have a lot of ideas and surprises up my sleeve for Clara and the story and I'm so excited to watch them unfold. Enjoy this next chapter!
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
Creep, Radiohead
When I awoke on the Thursday morning I didn't want to move. My brain felt as though it was going to explode, and any small movement I made, my body screamed in protest. Why did cocktails have to taste so good? When my eyes opened for the first time, they cringed back against the bright light. For a moment I wasn't sure where I was, sprawled out on the plush carpet of the living-room floor. I groaned, rolling over, away from the light.
Everyone else was in a similar state, except for Grace and Sophie, who like a pair of angels, had prepared the most delicious breakfast, which came with a side of orange juice, painkillers and a hot cup of joe. Addy could barely keep her eyes open, whilst Aaron kept asking if the sun was always so bright despite the sky being rather cloudy. Joe managed to overcome his hangover in record time, shovelling down any food he came into contact with, going back for seconds and thirds. Kate ran back and forth to the bathroom multiple times throughout the meal, each time she returned insisting she was okay.
It wasn't until late afternoon that Joe and I finally left the house. Once I had left Joe home, I made my way back to my own, greeted by the silence that filled the house. My mom was still at work, something I was relieved to see. I could not handle her teasing with the headache I had. Shuffling my way up the stairs, I fell into my bed, falling back to sleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.
And when I slept, I had dreams. The scene in the school parking lot playing over and over in my head like a broken record, the scene soon moving to the Cullen's mysterious residence, which presented itself as a nightmare. Twisted dead trees circling a dark, dingey building, filled with coffins, dead bodies and blood. Lots of blood. I woke shaking, sitting up quickly, much to the dismay of my head. I was too scared to go back to sleep, so instead, I grabbed a pencil and my sketch pad and drew out images from the last few days, almost like a journal. Bella in the passenger seat of my car, fiddling with the radio, the view I had from my rearview mirror of the Cullen's, last nights gathering in Addy's grand house, each figure laughing or singing. And then I sketched out the nightmares, the image my brain had conjured up of the Cullen's home, adding my own details of the horrors I was to expect when I saw it with my own eyes. Like I was preparing myself for the worst.
I sat staring at the faces of the elusive family, my fingers consistently flickering back to that first drawing of Jasper Hale. There was a difference in the way I drew him; in the first, he was beautiful, like a perfect marble statue. In the second his eyes were cold and calculating, it was like two different men, both surrounded by mystery. I was brought out of my reprieve by a text from my mother, informing me she was on her way home to make dinner, and that she had invited both Charlie and Bella over. After informing her of Bella's annoyance at everyone asking how she was after the accident, my mother, instead, decided to make her a home-cooked meal, which was fine by me. Two good meals in one day and I didn't need to lift a finger? Glorious.
With this information, I closed my sketchbook, placing it out of the way. Out of sight, out of mind. I ran a hot bath, submerging myself in the steaming water, feeling every tense muscle in my body slowly fade away. I did nothing but alternate my eyes from the bubbles before me and the ceiling above, enjoying the silence and the heat, pretending for just a while, that all was well, in the rainy town of Forks.
At dinner, my mom, Bella and Charlie all thought they were hilarious, making jabs at my clearly hungover state, 'accidentally' making loud noises, and laughing when I accused them of bullying me. Bella and I were on clean up duty, and as she was drying the dishes, she mentioned how there was a rumour about someone who looked exactly like me having talked to Edward Cullen the day after the accident, before driving off in a very loud fashion. I was glad my mother was too engaged in whatever Charlie was saying to hear what the younger girl had said, and I cringed with embarrassment. I hadn't thought about that. When I made eye contact with Bella, she gave me a knowing look, clearly not impressed by my explanation of wanting to thank Edward.
After a sorry smile, I prompted her, asking if Edward had said something. I wasn't sure whether to be surprised or not by the news that Edward was in fact back to ignoring her again. I let her mutter her irritations at the strange boy, and the attention she was getting around school after the accident. I listened keenly to any information she had to give. It seemed as though something was frustrating her
"Something on your mind?" I asked.
She paused for a moment, before continuing running the towel over the plate in her hand."No, just… been having weird dreams recently."
I looked to her, before turning my eyes back to the sudsy water. "Me too."
We let silence fill the air after that.
Friday morning, I had planned it perfectly.
I had spent the night before in bed reading through any books I had with the word Vampire in it or at the very least something eluding to the creature, ensuring I had refreshed my knowledge as much as possible. I packed a bag with a few bottles of water and some sandwiches and filled my coat pockets with garlic. It took me a while, but after searching through my mom's cupboards I finally found a rather old, worn-out wall cross, perfect for demon fighting.
Donning the sturdiest shoes I owned, and a hat and gloves to fight the nip of the cold January air, I left the house in the early afternoon. My mom was away to work, as was Charlie, and Bella's truck was missing from the drive, meaning she was at school.
Which also meant the Cullen's would be at school.
I hoped.
I could only assume Carlise was at the hospital and Esme was out who knows where.
Please.
I followed the same route I had taken on the Wednesday, over the bridge, the rest of the town fading away behind me. I had turned the radio off, the sound too distracting. I had to focus. Focus on the road, my destination, on anything but the intelligent part of my brain that was screaming I was insane.
I stopped near the entrance to the Rowe residence, pulling up on the side of the road. Exiting my car, I scoped the area. The road was quiet, the sounds of the trees rustling in the wind, keeping me on high alert. Hiking my backpack onto my shoulders, I entered the tree line just beside the drive away, moving far enough in that I wasn't completely obvious to spot, but still close enough to the road that I could see it, as to not get lost.
And so I began to walk.
I kept following the winding road northward, keeping my eyes peeled for any sign of movement.
On the night of the house party, after I had finished emptying the contents of my stomach, I tried to pry as much information from the other attendees as I could about where exactly this house was.
That being said, the house wasn't easy to find.
I arrived at a few different driveways, and I walked up to each home, checking the area for any Vampire life.
One large house had an overgrown yet strangely beautiful garden, part of it growing up the walls of the building. An old woman sat outside the front on a cute wooden bench, wrapped up in a blanket. I told her I was new to the area and was hiking to explore Forks. She offered me a cookie.
The next driveway led to a sleek modern home, a well-suited man locking up the front door. He was clearly not one of the men I was trying to avoid, nonetheless, I quickly moved back into the trees. He looked like the kind of person who enjoyed shouting at people.
Even more intimidating was the front gate I walked up to with a 'Beware of Dog' sign hung proudly on the front. I peaked my head over the tall gate and promptly fell backwards onto my backside as the large Rottweiler barked and snapped its teeth at me. It took me no time to scramble as far from there as possible.
After this, I didn't come by another soul.
My feet were aching, not used to all of the walking, and I knew I was sweaty, wishing for nothing more than to be in a shower. But I pressed on, determined. At one point I stopped for a break, sitting on a fallen tree, munching on a sandwich and sipping on my water. I felt surprisingly at home in the forest, the sounds of the woods pleasant to my ears. I yearned to draw my surroundings and regretted not bringing my sketchbook.
As I was walking again, I got so invested in my surroundings that I almost missed it. Just ahead was an unpaved, unmarked road. A twisting barely visible path leading deep into the forest. My mind went back to the night at Addy's. The Cullen's live in the woods, the road easy to miss. Seemed like I was on the right track. Stopping on the road I looked down to where the entrance was. If you weren't aware of where the turn was it would have been very easy to miss. I paused for a moment, once more looking around me, resting my eyes on the entrance. No movement. Not a peep.
I began following the path deeper into the woods, taking my time to keep track of the path. It was clearly created with the intention of throwing off any passerby, someone like me.
The more I walked, the more those ever-present nerves grew, and I had to take off my gloves as my hands began to sweat. I ignored the voice in the back of my head telling me to turn back, that this was the stupidest thing I had ever attempted. Yet my feet continued to move. The trees had been so dense thus far that when they began to thin out and opened into what looked like a meadow, I was shocked.
I took note of the shade that still spilt out over the ground, keeping everything under the branches of the trees in a shadow.
This Included the beautiful three-story faded white house that sat before me. I analysed the building.
It looked old, yet new. Every part of it looked perfect like much care had gone into ensuring it looked exactly as it was supposed to. It was the kind of house one only ever see's on the tv or in a magazine, as most of the houses this side of Forks were. My feet started moving forward.
As I drew closer to the porch which wrapped around the house, I noticed that there wasn't a car in sight, which I tried to take as a good sign, yet part of me still felt paranoid.
Running up the steps to the front door, I peeked in through the window. The area was wide and open, though I could not see much more than that. The entire thing looked like the type of perfection the Cullen's emanated on a daily basis. That gut feeling told me this had to be it. Either that or I'm getting desperate. But who else lives in the middle of the woods with a small meadow as your lawn and three-stories to your house.
I looked over my shoulder, looking across the front, trying to spot anything out of the ordinary. After a moment, I looked back to the door and hesitantly reached my hand out, grasping the doorknob, and attempting to open it. It didn't budge.
That was both good and bad. That tells me that it seems as though no one was there, but it also meant I wasn't getting in that way.
I moved down the porch slightly, peering into the window again. I placed my hand around the edges, pulling slightly, hoping it would magically open. It did not. I pursed my lips, thinking. This was going to be harder than I imagined.
Or so I thought.
I ventured further along the porch, checking each window as I went, looking for any source of entry. And then like an X marks the spot on a map, I found what I was looking for.
I stopped in front of a window which created a barrier between the outside and the sleek-looking kitchen. As I ran my fingers around the edges of the window, I noticed a gap. Gripping the side I slowly pulled it forward, almost not believing it when the window came closer and closer toward me.
I opened the window until it could go no further, slowly letting my hands fall away. And then I just stared at it.
Was I really about to do this? Every thought I had urged myself to ignore came flying to the forefront of my mind. I was about to break into a house. About to break the law. What if I got caught? What would Charlie say if he rolled up in the cruiser to arrest me? What would my mom say? Yet again I'm reminded of how much I push the line of what I should and should not do. What if this wasn't even the house I was looking for and I was about to rifle through a stranger's private abode.
And yet…
My blood boiled, it told me to listen to that feeling in my gut. The one that said there was something here, go take a look.
And so I did.
Instinct drove me, any thoughts of doubt instantly vanished. Thankfully the window that opened was just the right size for me, and I carefully pushed myself through it, feet touching down on the pristine countertop, and then down to the kitchen floor. I felt like a ninja or some sort of hunter, and a thrill ran up my spine. I tried to be as quiet as possible, in case someone decided to show themselves (Though what I would do if that happened, I didn't know).
You could hear a pin drop.
I took in the room. The kitchen was the die for, everything state of the art, and perfect, almost like it has never been used. I lightly ran my fingers along the countertop, a serene sort of peace coming over me. Curious I moved forward and opened a cupboard.
Empty.
I opened another, and then another.
All empty.
The fridge, empty.
Freezer, empty.
There was no way the trolley full of food Esme had bought two days ago had been completely consumed already.
There weren't even any plates.
That's a red flag if ever I saw one.
Granted, there wasn't exactly a fridge full of human blood, but having nothing at all?
Vampires don't need to eat.
I continued through the first floor, past the long grand dining table. Walking toward the door I, changed direction slightly, approaching the Grand Piano that sat on a platform. I ran my fingers carefully over the white keys, pressing one down lightly, the sound elegantly playing through the room.
I wonder who is so musically inclined.
Looking past the piano, into what looked like a living room, with its looks like-new carpet, and a perfect fireplace in keeping with the style of the home, I moved toward the back taking in the view with awe. The wall had been replaced entirely by glass, giving the perfect vision of the lawn and river flowing softly down below, under the shade of the trees. It felt tranquil and a sort of peace flowed over me. I could get used to a view like this.
After a few minutes of enjoying the image before me, I headed up the stairs to the first floor, honey-coloured wood surrounding me, and I contemplated why a house of vampires would have a wall full of glass. Vampires and sunlight aren't supposed to mix, yet I couldn't quite figure out how the Cullen's walked around without it affecting them.
Add it to the list of mysteries.
I carefully opened the first door at the top of the steps, pushing it cautiously, peaking around the edge to check for anyone lurking in the shadows.
The room was large and lush. I walked slowly around the room, taking in the large four-poster bed that lay against the back wall, curtains curling around the posts. A plush love-seat sofa sat at the end of the bed, facing a large TV which hung on the wall. A number of contemporary paintings were nailed to the light pink walls, and all along one side was a built-in wardrobe, which when I peeked in, was full of very expensive-looking clothing. A vanity table was neatly covered in some of the most expensive makeup I had ever come across.
I blew out a whistle.
Whoever's room this was, they clearly enjoyed a classy lifestyle.
Ensuring the room was left as I had found it, I closed the door carefully behind me. I moved on to continue exploring the home, feeling slightly more relaxed than before.
The next room I walked into looked like a personal study. The walls were a dark forest which complimented the dark hardwood of the floor. The room was very dark, the windows covered with long floor-length curtains.
Using the natural light from the hall, I found the light switch and flicked it on. A warm glow filled the room, and I found it inviting, the wood-like smells of the room enveloping me, inviting me in. It wasn't a large room, but it felt as though it was exactly as the occupant wanted it to be. An antique-looking desk sat at the far end of the room, facing the door, neat stacks of papers and books sitting atop it. To the left, stood a wall-length bookshelf, full of various different types of reading materials, many, I noticed, being in history and philosophy. It was true the Cullen's were known for their intelligence when I attended school with them, so it was no surprise that their house would be full of such books.
If this is their house...
I ran my fingers along the spines, savouring the sturdy yet delicate feel. I pulled one out and flicked the pages quickly, taking in the smell. I had always loved the scent of a book, new or old. I could also tell that whomever's possessions I was currently riffling through, took much care in looking after them.
I glanced around quickly before letting myself fall into the soft but firm armchair which was housed opposite the books.
I bit my lip smiling enjoying the comfort of the room. To my right, I noticed what I assumed to be a badly carved wooden horse rested atop a small side table. Snorting a laugh, I picked it up, rolling it around in my hands. On the underneath, I could make out an EC carved into the wood.
EC?
Edward Cullen? Or Emmett, maybe? Interesting…
I placed the object back, and promptly exited the room, turning the light off as I went.
I entered another bedroom, though there wasn't as much to take in. It was bright and white, plain yet classy. There was a faint smell of something floral, helped by the vase that sat on a small coffee table, and there was a wardrobe full of expensive but simple clothing. What stuck out to me the most, something that differed from the last, was the fact there wasn't a bed.
There was a sofa, everyone in this house seemed to have one of those.
But equally, there are no coffins. No blood or dead people, or cobwebs and bats.
Hmmm…
It was the same for the next room; a beautiful lilac sofa a white knitted blanket draped over the back of it, on one side, and another vanity table pushed against one wall, which had many different kinds of jewellery on display, more than I had ever owned in my life.
I near fell over in shock at the sight of the walk-in closet which was bigger than the room itself. It seemed as though there was a different outfit for every day of the year. I fawned over the shoe collection, wishing I could grab a pair to bring back with me.
As I left the closet I was hit with a sudden sense of Deja Vu. The room smelt sweet and familiar, like a comforting hug. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and something in my stomach twisted like I knew an answer but couldn't quite remember what to.
I shuffled toward the door when something caught my eye. I hadn't noticed it when I first entered the room.
On the sofa sat a neatly folded piece of paper. It looked old and slightly worn, as though someone forgot to throw it in the trash. Yet it was so perfectly placed, perfectly folded, it felt as though it was meant to be there, that I was meant to find it.
Automatically I moved forward, and carefully picked the paper up with my fingers. I unfolded it, unsure of what I would find.
I almost dropped it.
It wasn't anything scary to look at in the traditional sense. It was an average drawing of a daisy. What got me was the signature in the bottom corner.
My signature.
Dated 1998
All of a sudden it was as though I was thrown back to being my sixteen-year-old self, practising drawing flowers in the lunchroom whilst Alice Cullen watched, encouraging me, even when I thought they were no good.
I choked up.
With just a look at this drawing of a daisy, the reality of the situation was hitting me for the first time.
Here I was, wandering around a house I had no right to be in, looking around at someone's personal possessions, without a care in the world. It was so easy for me to climb through that window.
But why?
There was a reason I was too scared to look at Alice or Rosalie or Jasper that day in the parking lot of Forks High School. It meant that the people who were here now, in 2005, acting as though they were teenagers were the same people I had had interactions within 1998 at the age of sixteen.
It meant this had to be the Cullen's house right? A house in the woods, under the shade of the trees, far from people, with no food and no beds. And this small part of my history laying in wait atop a lilac sofa. A piece of history I had given to one person, and one person alone.
I hurriedly whipped the tears from my eyes. I couldn't breakdown, not now. Not in the middle of the lion's den.
But that once comforting smell was overwhelming my senses, I couldn't think straight.
I hadn't realised I had moved. Not until I was suddenly facing a mahogany desk in what seemed to be yet another study. I placed a hand on my chest, closing my eyes, counting to ten.
Deep breaths.
Opening my eyes, I stared blankly ahead at the desk, before becoming suddenly aware of the paper I still grasped in my hand. I shoved it firmly into my pocket next to the garlic.
How is it here? Is this a threat? Is someone playing a game with me?
Was a monster waiting for me? Had they knew I'd come?
I had become very uninterested in continuing my investigation and turned to leave. My eyes widened once more.
The walls were completely covered in pictures of different sizes and colours, something which if it was in another home I may have found interest in. However, there was one that stood out, one that made me step closer, my panic forgot for a moment.
It was the most extravagant and largest of the bunch. A canvas overflowing with figures in swirling robes. A painting from another time. And on the highest balcony of the painting, there he was. The man from the hospital.
Carlisle Cullen.
He looked different in some ways, but the face was almost an exact replica.
I pulled my phone from my pocket and took a few photographs. Looking back at the piece I began moving forward again, fingers reaching forward to lightly brush-
"Shit!" I jumped as the phone in my hand rang loudly, clattering on the floor as it slipped from my fingers.
I scrambled down, to pick it up as it continued to ring. Glancing once more at the doctor's form in the image before me, I hurried from the room as I answered, closing the door as I went.
"Hello?" I prayed my voice didn't portray the fear that was running through me as I hurried to leave the Cullen household.
"Hey, Clara." Addy chirped down the phone, unaware of my current illegal activities, "You're working tomorrow right?"
"Uhh…" My brain felt scrambled, "Yeah I think so, why?"
I barrelled down the stairs and reached the kitchen. I tapped my foot impatiently, staring at the window. My exit.
"Do you think you could come in early tomorrow and open with me? Ron's called in saying-."
"Yeah sure. Addy now actually isn't a great time, so I'll call you later about it? Okay, bye!" The words rushed from my mouth like a waterfall and I would be surprised if Addy could keep up.
I ignored the guilt of hanging up on my friend that burned in my gut and scrambled out the window.
It was later in the afternoon than I thought, and I needed to get as far away from the Cullen house as possible before they all decided it was time to come home and catch me.
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
I somehow managed to keep a fast pace between the Cullen house and where I had left my car. Between the light jog and the lack of detours, I managed the many miles in a much shorter time than should have been possible. It was like something in my blood woke up for a while, helping me get away from danger. It didn't last long though.
Any adrenaline that ran through me was slowly fading as I drove home. I made sure to take as many different roads as possible from my usual route to avoid all areas the Cullen's would possibly be lurking, though I still slide down in my chair anytime I thought I caught sight of a silver Volvo.
I sat in front of my house for what felt like a lifetime (but in reality was a few minutes) before I noticed Bella's truck pull up, which sent another pang of fear through my body, but also relieved me.
She was okay.
I watched as she closed the door to the truck, and entered her house.
As I sat in car, in the drive a thought crossed my mind.
Bella was having somewhat of a similar experience as I had had back in High School. Albeit she wasn't exactly friends with the family but she had seen something strange that day with the car crash. Something strange about Edward Cullen.
I bit my lip, the piece of paper in my pocket feeling as though it was about to burn a hole through my coat. Still, I didn't take it from its place by the garlic.
Christ, I must reek.
Sweat, garlic and fear, cannot be a good combination. My longing for a shower overtook me once more. I was going back to ignoring everything, it was like a superpower.
Let me shower in peace before I have some sort of breakdown.
After a long while, when the sky began to darken, I eventually dragged myself from the car and entered the house. I went straight up to the bathroom, locking the door, and sitting on the edge of the bath. I stared at the cool tiles as I chugged down a bottle of water and then ate the remaining sandwich from my bag. I stripped out of my clothes, throwing them in a pile in the farthest corner from me.
At one point I heard my mother enter the house, and I focused hard on her singing loudly to herself as she began making dinner. Anything to distract me.
Just as I went to enter the shower I paused. Opening my bag again, I reached in and pulled out the cross I had almost forgotten about. I placed it against the bathroom mirror and stared at it a moment. I wasn't sure why I did it, I wasn't particularly religious, but given the current situation, I thought it was appropriate.
I showered for far too long, at a far too hot temperature, but I didn't care. It helped. Helped mask the tears that freely flowed from my eyes. Helped my body which was overcome with tiredness I had not felt since around the time my father died.
"Clara?" My mom called from the bottom of the stairs.
I closed the bathroom door behind me, a towel wrapped around my body, hair dripping, bag hanging from my hand.
"Yeah?"
"Dinner will be ready in a bit."
"I'll be down soon," I called back.
I opened the door to my room. It was dark, the evening had caught up to me, though I wasn't sure how I lost track of time as much as I had. The last few hours since leaving the house seemed like a blur.
I cursed softly.
Christ, what have I done?
I'm insane.
I shivered slightly. I turned the light on, my brows furrowing in confusion. I didn't remember opening the window.
Walking forward, I reached over with my free hand, and shut the window, pulling the curtains over to shield me from the outside.
I turned around and felt the bag fall from my grip, though I didn't hear it when it hit the floor.
I watched as Alice pushed out from behind the door, closing it softly. She looked to me with swirling golden eyes, full of hesitation.
She took a cautious step toward me.
"Don't freak out, okay?" She asked quietly, almost pleading, analysing my every move.
So of course, me being me, I freaked out.
