Chapter Twelve -

Caught in the Middle

Disclaimer - I don't own anything Twilight related, that all belongs to one Stephanie Meyer


I'm just a little bit caught in the middle

I try to keep going but it's not that simple

I think I'm a little bit caught in the middle

Gotta keep going or they'll call me a quitter

Yeah, I'm caught in the middle

Caught in the Middle - Paramore


If I had to list the top weirdest things that had happened in my life so far, this would definitely be at the top. I sat awkward and stiff at the dining table watching as Esme pottered about making me a cup of coffee as though this was a normal occurrence for us.

Despite listening as hard as I could, there was no noise from the living room, animalistic or otherwise. Not sure if that was reassuring.

Esme smiled brightly, setting a mug on the table.

"Thanks." I smiled, pulling the tea toward me. I tried not to let my eyes widen at how grey the coffee looked. Did she give me dishwater? Is this my punishment for trespassing?

I glance up at Esme who was watching in an almost wholesome and excited apprehension.

"I've never got to make coffee for anyone before," she twiddled her fingers, "Go ahead and try it! I want to see what you think."

Seeing the innocent look on her face, I didn't want to disappoint.

"Um... sure, okay." I nodded politely, lifting the mug to my lips, very aware of the golden eyes watching my every movement.

Oh god, what did this poor woman do to this coffee?

It was only when I looked back at Esme again that I realised I was holding the liquid in my mouth. I forced myself to swallow.

"So?"

"Mmmm…" I nodded, my voice a pitch too high, "Yeah… really nice. Never had a coffee… like it."

Esme relaxed, smiling widely. She moved so fast I jumped backwards. She was now sitting beside me at the table and I knew I was gaping at her like a fish.

"Oh I'm so glad," She placed her cold hand on top of mine, "I followed the instructions on the back of the box, it wasn't too difficult but it's hard when I can't taste it myself. I have a few recipes I've been dying to try, and now with you here I have a reason! I'll have to get some ingredients the next time you're over. I finally have an excuse to use the kitchen."

The cold of her hand was a bit too much, and I tried to subtly pull my hand away, but vampires miss nothing, and she sheepishly put her hands on her lap.

"Sorry, I was so excited I didn't think-"

"Oh no!" I interrupted her, "It was just a bit… cold." Not wanting to offend her, I quickly added, "But you made me this lovely coffee to warm my hands on." I tried to smile reassuringly.

I tapped my fingers on the mug for a moment, thinking. "Um… did you say, next time?" I didn't know where to look while asking her. The statement had stood out to me.

Next time.

Esme's brows furrowed, "well of course. Unless you don't feel comfortable.."

"I suppose I'm just a bit confused. I wasn't expecting this kind of reception honestly."

"You were expecting to be threatened or attacked." Despite her words, Esme looked amused.

"Well… kinda?"

She laughed this time, "I suppose I can't blame you all things considered. And it's not like things were very welcoming. I didn't think it would escalate that quickly."

"You were expecting that lot to be calm?"

"More like I was hoping. I hate it when they fight like that. And they've been doing it a lot more recently…" Esme trailed off.

I bit my lip, brows furrowed, "I'm sorry." I whispered.

She looked at me surprised, "What for?"

"It's all my fault, isn't it? All this infighting?"

Understanding, Esme tilted her head sympathetically. "Oh, sweetheart don't be silly. This kind of situation was bound to happen sometime, someone was going to recognise us. As Carlise said, fear makes us do silly things sometimes, and when you have such strong personalities like my children have, dealing with something like this is bound to cause some explosions. Besides, it isn't all about you… There was that situation with Bella too.

"If it's any consolation, while she is suspicious, I don't think Bella has put all the pieces together."

She smiled, "Two new girls in town and both of them find us out in record time."

"That really is some bad luck." I grinned in return.

"Perhaps…" She gave me a knowing look, "If half of the things Alice has told us are true, then maybe it isn't all bad luck."

"Alice… has she said a lot about me?"

"Trust me, since she discovered you were here she hasn't stopped talking about you. All good things I promise."

Warmth and pride flooded my chest, a large part of me pleased to know Alice spoke so highly of me, even after all this time.

"Can I ask…" I pursed my lips not sure where to start, "Why… why are you so willing to… well, not get rid of me. Why aren't you all running again?"

Esme didn't speak for a few moments, analysing my face. I felt exposed, fearful of the answer. But I stayed firm and looked her in the eye.

There's that sad smile again. Her eye's seemed to hold years of secrets and thoughts, and I could feel how old she was under that perfect, young vision.

"Some of us, want to let Alice make up for lost time. She didn't want to leave Canada, she felt so guilty leaving you alone, especially with how things were with you. But she saw that no matter what, we always ended up exposed, or you ended up…"

"Dead." I whispered it, unsure how to feel.

Esme nodded, continuing, "...so we left. But somehow you managed to find us again." A smile, "The amount of convincing it took the rest of them to keep Alice from rushing to you when you appeared at the school… She was determined that this time would be different, the amount of arguing in the days that followed," She tutted, "They even broke one of my favourite vases!"

I breathed out a laugh at her mother like manner, and let her continue.

"We are so settled here, it gets hard sometimes, constantly having to move around, especially when we haven't been here very long. And really we should have gone as soon as you figured us out, but Alice wouldn't have it. She kicked up such a fuss as you can imagine. She said she had seen all possible futures and none of them involved you exposing us, not if we actually explained ourselves this time… You know, it's actually quite nice to be so open for once. Outside of the family I mean."

"Well, I appreciate you being so open with me. I promise I don't mean your family any harm. I was stupid-"

"I think you were very rational! I mean I can't imagine how scary it must be to discover vampires are real, never mind that a whole clan of them live in the town where the people you care about live."

I smiled in thanks, grateful that she was so understanding.

"... though next time, just come in the front door."

"I'm so sorry!" I bowed my head, cringing, though I perked up when I heard Esme's teasing laugh.

She sobered after a moment, and hesitantly, almost asking for permission, she lay her hand on mine again. "I'm very sorry about your dad, Clara."

A pained pang hit me momentarily, but I pushed it away, overtaken by curiosity, "How did you…"

Her raised eyebrow was all I needed.

"Alice." We said it at the same time, giggling.

"I'm just going to presume from now on, anything else you magically know about me, that it was all Alice's doing."

"A wise decision."

We giggled again, then I was the one to sober this time.

"Thank you by the way. It's been a while, but I'm still dealing with it in my own way I think."

"Of course. If you ever need to talk, I'm here."

I felt a huge urge to hug the woman in front of me. How kind she had been despite how I had acted up to now. Perhaps all vampires aren't so scary.

I looked at her curiously, "How many of you have these magic powers anyway? You know, like Alice's future seeing thing. And she told me all about Edward's mind-reading stuff."

"It is just those two and Jasper who have 'magic powers'."

"Jasper too? What can he do?"

"He can… feel emotions, manipulate them. So if you're feeling sad, he will feel that and say, could make you feel happy. You get the idea."

"Oh, wow. I didn't know that." Is that why I suddenly felt calm earlier? Or the fear I felt in the Forks High School car park?

There was a minute of quiet as I contemplated this new information, unknowingly sipping on the not so nice coffee.

"Now!" Esme stood in a flash, and I once again jumped in surprise, though strangely it didn't freak me out as much as it had before. "Alice said you're an artist."

"Of course she did." I rolled my eyes. "I mean I wouldn't say an artist, but I like to draw and paint-"

"Perfect!" She grasped my hands in hers and pulled me up, bringing me toward a blank wall. "I need an artists opinion. What do you think would be the perfect kind of painting for this wall? I have been wracking my brain and I just cannot get it right. I'm so picky."

"Oh gosh… Uh…" I took in the space, the colour of the paint, putting together in my head what I would put there if I lived here."

"Oh," Esme looked toward the living room suddenly. "They're done! Tell you what, have a think and let me know." She smiled cheerfully and began walking back to the living room.

It took me a moment to realise I should be following her, and so I hurried after her, curious to see the outcome of the family argument.

It was only Alice and Carlise left in the room when Esme and I arrived. Squealing, Alice ran toward me, knocking the wind out of me with a hug.

"You'd think I disappeared for another few years with that kind of reaction." I quipped, patting her gently on the back.

"We're staying!" She said excitedly. "In Forks. I'm not going to leave you, and this time everything is out in the open!"

Her excitement was infectious, and I couldn't help but let myself be engulfed by it, determined to push the pessimistic, doubtful thoughts to the side. If anything bad would come of this, Alice would have seen it by now? Right?

"Oh, this is great!" Alice continued babbling on, "You can come over all the time now!"

"Alice! I don't want to intrude-"

"You are more than welcome over anytime Clara." Carlisle had joined his wife, an arm comfortingly around her waist. "Don't worry about the others, they will warm up to the idea soon enough, they're just worried."

I gulped back the guilt once again, "I promise not to cause any problems for you all. I appreciate you trusting me with your… secret."

Mr and Mrs Cullen smiled so brightly at me, so casually that it almost felt like I was just visiting my friend after school.

"Where did everyone else go, by the way?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

Alice rolled her eyes, but it was Carlise that answered, "Don't worry, they all went to calm down a bit. As you can imagine, a vampires temper can cause a lot of damage."

"Yes I heard about a broken vase of two." I laughed as Alice pouted.

"It wasn't my fault! Rosalie shouldn't have ducked. She definitely could have caught that!"

Laughter filled the room, and I enjoyed the light atmosphere that was present in the air, compared to the suffocating one I had felt when I first stepped throught the threshold of a vampire clan.

A VAMPIRE CLAN. Honestly, I wanted to nerd out a bit. I was in the midst of a vampire clan, and for the most part, they were accepting of me! How exciting (terrifying).

Oh my god I need to pee.

Suddenly the nervous pee I must have been holding in for a while now was bursting.

Please have running water!

"Um… Not to be totally human and all, but do you guys have a bathroom."

Alice snorted with laughter and I scowled.

Much kinder, Esme pointed me in the right direction, and I hurried off with the directions I was given. I came to a stop in a familiar corridor. I had been here before.

I hurried into the bathroom, very conscious that any vampires in the vicinity could hear me relieving myself.

"How embarrassing," I muttered.

I took a moment to breathe, enjoying the cool air of the bathroom, and splashing cold water on my face. I tidied myself, feeling slightly more confident than before.

A few minutes later I exited the room, and walked back down the hall (With slightly less urgency).

This time I noticed one of the doors ajar. It was the office door, the one I had entered on my first trip here. I moved forward, peaking inside.

I inhaled a breath. Jasper stood with his back to me at the desk, but I knew he had heard me already.

"Oh my goodness, is this not the bathroom? My mistake." I turned to leave but his voice stopped me.

"You already used the bathroom."

I scowled at his back, my cheeks heating up, "You don't have to call me out like that you know."

He finally turned to me, bemusement written on his face. He raised an eyebrow.

"Can I help you with something?"

I cleared my throat, shuffling. I contemplated making something up for a moment, but decided to just tell the truth.

I shrugged, "I was just being nosey."

"Now that is shocking."

"What can I say, I love a good mystery."

"Uh huh."

God this is so awkward, yet he looks so neutral, he never gives anything away does he.

"So.." I started, trying to keep friendly, "I guess we'll be seeing more of each other from now on."

Silence is my response, a blank stare. SAY SOMETHING.

"Perhaps it would be nice to get to know each other a bit, who knows maybe we could be friends?"

If Alice, Esme and Carlisle were so welcoming, I should at least make an effort to be on friendly terms with the others (it might help lessen the chance of them mauling me in my sleep).

"No thanks." the casual unbothered way he said it offended me.

"Why not?" I said defensively. I'M FUN!

"I have no interest in getting to know you, or being friends with a human. I will tolerate you for Alice's sake, nothing more."

Ouch.

"You really don't like me do you?"

"I have no feelings toward you." he was still using that casual tone, and it was starting to grate on me, and I now knew he could feel my growing annoyance and I gladly let him.

Dick.

He continued, "Im not interested enough in you to care. What I do care about is the danger you are putting us in."

"If anyone has the potential to be in danger I reckon it's the human." I rolled my eyes.

"And yet you gladly walk into said danger. You really must have a death wish."

"Quite the opposite actually. But Alice meant a lot to me, and I don't want to lose her again. So maybe you aren't happy but I'm glad you're all staying. I want you to stay."

He said nothing. But his eyes narrowed a fraction and I could practically see the cogs turning in his head.

I kept going,"Don't you remember what it was like to have a friends. You know, the non-immortal variety."

Jasper's eyes seemed to look right past me, "that was a long time ago. And it is not a time that I wish to remember."

He focused on me again, "Alice is the most important thing to me, she… helped me when no one else could. So I won't pretend to be happy with her being so eager, but as I said, I will tolerate it. For her."

I watched him carefully then spoke, "The way you talk about her… are you two… like… a thing."

He rolled his eyes, "No, we are not a thing. Why? Do we have to be in a relationship to care about one another?"

"No!" I said hastily, "I was just-"

"Being nosey."

"Being nosey", I mocked his words. It was childish I knew, but the smug look on his face made me feel that way.

I huffed, "you're impossible."

He shrugged as if to say yes. At least we agreed on something.

"Fine." I said, "then I will simply tolerate you too. And we won't have to talk to each other or do anything fun, or- or… pretend the other exists."

"That would be hard, you are very loud for a human. It's so hard to ignore you."

I see what he was doing. He was trying to get a rise out of me, it was amusing him to see the silly human flustered. Well I would certainly not give him the satisfaction, even if I did want to stomp my foot and storm off.

"I'm leaving."

"Oh no, and here we were having such a lovely conversation."

I turned away, huffing from the room. "you are insufferable." I closed the door as I exited.

But I could have a swore I heard a deep, genuine laughter float out after me.