I was in Seaspeak class and writing down answers on my test as the teacher talked about how sea life communicates and how those on land are able to speak to them by learning their language, which was a very fascinating subject and something that would've helped me a lot back in the Wasteland so that Mirelurks and other mutated sea monsters would've stopped trying to kill me whenever I got too close to their territory.
At that moment, my stomach growled and I frowned slightly since I was getting hungry and Legosi flew over to me with an uncomfortable look.
"Connor, that hen is looking at you again," Legosi informed me and I felt like groaning as I saw the female hen on my left out of the corner of my eye, who was eyeing me subtly and I started feeling annoyed by all the staring.
Every single day, whenever I'm in Seaspeak class, that girl would always look at me for some unknown reason and it was odd at first three months ago just after I wound up in Legosi's body, but now it had gotten pretty irritating and I felt like telling her off for being rude but I was too socially awkward to say anything and tried to ignore her, then the school bell rang suddenly and I felt relief that class was over since I was hungry.
I reached down and looked through my backpack until I took out a box of egg salad sandwichs and placed it on the table before opening it, then I took out one of the sandwiches and took a bite out of it as everyone was grabbing their things and leaving class while I closed my eyes and hummed joyfully at how delicious the sandwich was and wished that I had my body again to actually savor it with my own tastebuds instead of someone else's, just as I smelled Jack approaching and I looked at him.
"You sure love those egg salad sandwiches," Jack commented as he sat down on my right and I nodded as I looked at the sandwich.
"Yeah, they're always the best on Wednesdays," I stated and Jack looked surprised.
"What? No way and come on, they're all the same," Jack said skeptically.
"No, seriously, the texture and taste are different...I can't describe it, but they're better on Wednesdays," I reasoned and Jack chuckled.
"Come on," Jack said humorously and I sighed.
"Anyway, we're just lucky we can get it at the school kiosk or I would have to go into the city to get them and that would be a pain," I grumbled and Jack smirked.
"Legosi, you really need to get out more," Jack remarked and I shot him an unamused look.
"Well, sorry if I don't like being around other people I don't know," I stated dryly and resumed eating my sandwiches until I was done and I noticed the hen looking proud for some reason, but I shrugged it off and went to my next class with Jack.
After that, a few days had passed by until it was Wednesday again and I had gotten another egg salad sandwich again, but it strangely didn't taste as good as before and I was confused why it was different and had gotten a soy burger before class until I took out the packaged food after class was over and ripped open the plastic before taking a bite out of the burger and I noticed that the hen was stunned for some reason and ignored it while Jack met up with me again.
"Hey, what's up, lego face? It's Wednesday and you're not eating your egg salad sandwich?" Jack questioned and I frowned thoughtfully.
"Yeah, it's weird, but they've been tasting differently these days and they're not as good as before," I told him and Jack started laughing.
"Seriously, did you ever think that maybe they aren't as special to begin with?" Jack inquired cheerfully and I hummed as I looked away from him.
"Well, I don't know about that-" I said and was cut off from saying anything else when I heard a loud crash on my left and quickly looked to see that the hen had fallen off her seat and instantly went to check on her.
"Holy crap, are you okay?! Jack, go get the nurse!" I exclaimed in alarm and Jack bolted out of the classroom while the other students hurried over to see what was going on and I gestured for them to stay back so that I could have some breathing room and saw that the hen was unconscious while I waited for Jack to come back with the nurse.
After that scare, Jack came back with the nurse and the hen was taken to the infirmary before she came back not long after and I was relieved before a couple of days had passed by and now I was in class again in the morning while noticing that I didn't have an eraser and scowled at the minor annoyance until I subtly looked at the hen.
"Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you but do you have an eraser I can borrow?" I whispered and the hen looked back at me.
"I'm sorry, but I only have one right now and I need it," the hen stated and I sighed quietly as I went back to my work.
"Well, thanks anyway and I'm really glad you're okay since you fainting like that scared the ever-loving hell out of me and everyone else," I mumbled to her and class continued after that until the bell rang and I took out my egg salad sandwiches before eating them and the hen looked surprised for a few seconds as I packed up my textbooks and left the classroom with Jack.
Pretty soon, I was heading to the roof so that I could talk to Haru and I went up the stairs until I entered the roof and went over to the shed near the garden before I saw that the curtains were drawn and went to knock on the door, then the curtains opened and I was taken off guard to see Louis about to leave before he saw me and he paused while we stared at each other.
"Wait, Louis-sempai?" I questioned in bewilderment and I could've sworn Louis gulped before he opened the sliding door and nodded in acknowledgment.
"Hey," Louis greeted as he walked out and stood in my way after shutting the door and leaned against the shed with one arm while resting his other one on his hip as he stared at me.
"I didn't know you personally came to the gardening club so what the hell are you doing here?" I asked in confusion.
"I should be asking you the same thing," Louis told me and I was more than puzzled by what he was doing here and why he was blocking the way inside the shed, like he was hiding something and I started feeling suspicious.
"Well, I got some business with the girl in the gardening club-" I started to explain and was cut off rudely.
"Haru isn't here and is currently in her dorm," Louis interrupted and that caught my attention.
"Haru? Wait, you already know her name?" I questioned with furrowed eyes as my suspicions started getting larger, then I noticed Louis avoiding eye-contact for a short time and it cemented that something is going on that I wasn't able to figure out.
"The gardening club's participating in the festival as well and it's my duty as a third-year to make sure everything's all set, so we're well acquainted with each other," Louis explained and the way he said it after hesitating told me that he was lying and I didn't know why, but I decided to keep it to myself for now until I could figure it out later.
"Oh, I didn't know so sorry about that and I could've done that for you if you wanted me to," I offered and Louis arched a brow.
"Really, you're acquainted with Haru too?" Louis asked and I nodded.
"Yeah, though we just met a few weeks ago and are starting to get to know each other," I said stoically as I put my hands in my pockets and Louis frowned.
"You know, you're just incredible since you keep hanging around herbivores, and was this something club-related? I could let her know for you," Louis offered and I pondered on what to say before I looked at him.
"No, it's fine because it was personal business and I just wanted to see her...anyway, I'll see her later so are you also heading back?" I asked and noticed that what I said seemed to take him by surprise before he appeared to shake it off.
"Yeah, sure," Louis said and there appeared to be a slight stutter in his voice before I decided to let it go and not question him about it.
"Alright, then let's walk together," I stated and we walked back to the stairwell and started to go down the stairs before Legosi stared at Louis with a thoughtful frown.
"Connor, did you see his reaction just now?" Legosi inquired and I nodded subtly since it seemed like Louis was hiding something, then I picked up an oddly familiar scent coming off of Louis and I narrowed my eyes in confusion.
'What the fuck...the hell is that smell coming off of him? It's almost...musky and there's another person in there with it,' I thought as I made a face and started sniffing to try and identify why it was so familiar until I got a little too close to Louis and he noticed before shoving my head back with a disgusted scowl.
"What the hell is with that disgusting sniffing and keep that nose of yours to yourself!" Louis shouted irritably and I rubbed my jaw as I sighed.
"Look, I'm sorry for being rude like that and it's none of my business what you're doing with whoever you're with, but wear a scent blocker next time because there is something musky and another person's scent coming off of you and any other canine is going to pick it up as I did," I advised and Louis seemed to tense up before he glared at me.
"Just don't do that again because it's disgusting," Louis warned and I held up my hands in surrender before deciding to ask him something that was currently on my mind.
"So, are you and Haru-san good friends?" I questioned and Louis looked at me.
"What did she tell you?" Louis wondered and I shrugged.
"Well, she didn't tell me anything and this is the first time I'm hearing about you and her knowing each other well," I answered as we started arriving at the bottom of the steps.
"If she never told you, then we're just friends so quit being nosy and trying to pry into my business. Anyway, are you interested in someone right now?" Louis asked as he stopped and looked back at me, causing me to stop as well.
'Look who's being nosy now, buddy,' I thought dryly and cleared my throat.
"No, and I don't have much experience with that," I admitted and Louis frowned.
"In that case, go support Juno and show some affection to your own species since the poor girl needs it. You can't deny that she's attractive and she seems to be nice so try talking to her," Louis told me before he walked away and I made a face at that before continuing my way to the drama club's practice room.
After that, I was wearing a red tracksuit with white sneakers and currently fixing the spotlights that were on the ground and thinking about what happened earlier and why Louis was hiding something until I was done with the lights, then I looked at my reflection in the mirror and paused at a slight difference I noticed before reaching up to use my hand to measure my size.
"Seriously, did I get taller again? Legosi, is it normal for your species to keep growing like this?" I questioned and Legosi appeared pensive as he shook his head.
"No, it's not and let's just say that my family's...unique," Legosi stated hesitantly and I was curious by what he meant by that, only it looked like he wasn't eager to talk about his family history so I let it go and laid down on the practice mat with an exasperated groan.
'Shit, I really hope these damn growth spurts will stop soon or I'm going to look like a giant to everyone...ugh, the joys of puberty and going through it once in my previous life was bad enough but having to go through it again is such a pain,' I thought irritably as I recalled what that panda told me and I scowled as I raised my hands and noticed that my claws were long before another pair of hands with dark brown fur showed up to my right.
"Is this some kind of ritual for good luck?" a familiar voice asked before I looked to see that it was Juno, causing me to yelp with a startled expression as I sat up quickly and frantically scooted away from her a few feet before I placed a hand on my chest to calm my heart rate.
"Juno-san, please don't do that because you startled me and when did you get here?" I gasped as I patted my chest and Juno looked embarrassed.
"Just now and sorry for scaring you, though you're here early, Legosi-sempai," Juno pointed out and I sent her a flat expression.
"Well, I'm usually never busy so how are things going with you on the actor's team? Are you having fun?" I questioned curiously and Juno looked thoughtful as she stood up.
"Well, it's actually been kind of difficult lately and I don't know if it's because I'm a wolf or some other reason, but the others seem to be avoiding me and it turns out that the club decided on a part for me for the festival dance without my knowledge.
Basically, I'm supposed to take on the role of a carnivorous dinosaur and I'm sure they did it just to mess with me, though I'm already over it and I'll dance my heart out and that's why I'm here, so that I could practice!" Juno declared as she fiddled with her fur on her cheeks and smiled at me.
"Connor, just looking at her and seeing her standing there, even I would know that gray wolves are beautiful creatures if they weren't me or you," Legosi pointed out and I couldn't help but agree with him since I had only seen pictures of animals in books back in my previous life and seeing them, even if they were humanoid, was an incredible experience that I would never forget.
"I see, and I hope you do well...although, I think I can help you since I was in charge of the lighting last year and I think I can give you advice for your role," I offered while I stood up and Juno perked up.
"Great, so can we do it right now?!" Juno exclaimed excitingly as she leaned forward with her hands clasped together and I was taken aback by that.
"Wait, um, now?" I questioned in bewilderment and she nodded before I sighed and agreed, then I turned on the spotlight in the ceiling above and counted Juno's steps while clapping in tune to her dancing and noticed that she wasn't doing all that great.
"I never get this part right since it's hard to do it at the right angle," Juno informed me and I stopped clapping and counting to stroke my chin thoughtfully until I had an idea that would help her.
"Well, I've never danced before but I do know the basics so let me help you get it right before everyone shows up," I said as I unzipped my jacket and took it off, showing my white t-shirt and my toned biceps as I placed the jacket on the floor and Juno's eyes widened for some strange reason.
"Here, try raising your elbows a little bit and bend your wrists more at this angle so I'm sorry if I'm being a bit vague," I apologized sheepishly as I showed her just what she needed to do and she frantically shook her head while I was starting to feel slightly uncomfortable at the sparkling look in her eyes.
"No, not at all and let's get started!" Juno cried happily before she hurried over and we got started.
After that, I helped her on how to dance more properly and corrected her on any mistakes as time shortly passed by until I was behind her and holding her arms out, then she suddenly went and grabbed my hand with her free one and turned around while holding my hands and holding a soft smile while I was puzzled by what she was doing and why it looked familiar.
"What is this strange feeling? My heart's pounding but I feel so calm and happy being with you right now...this is such a new experience and is it just me, or is there a chance that you feel the same way, Legosi?" Juno asked breathlessly and that's when it hit me with my eyes widening slightly in shock.
'Oh hell, this girl fell in love with me while I'm in love with Haru? Goddammit, am I in an anime love triangle or something?' I thought in exasperation with a sweatdrop since I really didn't need to deal with that right now and as funny as it is watching it on TV in this world, it's too stressful to deal with in real life right now and I needed to let her down gently or things would get ugly in the future.
"I know what you mean, but I don't feel the same way so I'm sorry," I told her gently and Juno's smile went away just as the doors opened and Sheila came in, forcing me to pull away and I nodded at her in acknowledgment.
"Morning," Sheila greeted loudly and I bowed in response.
"Good morning," I said as Juno came into Sheila's line of view and she blinked at that in surprise.
"Oh, it's you guys and you're here early," Sheila pointed out and I nodded.
"Yeah, we wanted to get an early start so I'll go work on the lights in the rafters," I stated as I walked away and climbed up the ladder before I got started on the lights.
After practice in the drama club was over and I finished with the lights, I had headed back to my dorm for some free time so that I could wait for everything to be set up outside in the nearby park outside the campus and nearly bumped into a hedgehog but I managed to move out of the way just in time and headed back to my dorm room until I went in and found Jack spinning around and keeping his hands behind his back while sweating nervously and I arched a brow at that.
"Hey, I'm back and I nearly ran into a hedgehog but I managed to move out of the way in time and thank god for that since his quills would've hurt like hell. Anyway, where are the guys?" I asked when I didn't see the other canines anywhere and Jack flinched.
"T-They're hanging out in the tanuki room," Jack stuttered and I furrowed my eyes in confusion since he was acting really odd for some reason.
"Um, okay?" I commented uncertainly and just shrugged as I went to my bed.
'Okay, now Jack is hiding something? You know what, I'm not even going to bother asking since it's probably another headache I'll have to deal with and I've already dealt with enough of them,' I thought dryly as I went onto my bed and closed the curtains before checking on Legosi's pet rhinoceros beetle Kabu and feeding him.
"H-Hey, Legosi," Jack spoke and I hummed in acknowledgment.
"Yeah, what is it?" I questioned as I smiled down at Kabu, who was slowly moving to the food.
"I was wondering, um...we've known each other for a while, right?" Jack inquired as I closed the lid on top of Kabu's cage and frowned as I looked at the curtains.
"Jack, if there's something bothering you, then you can always tell me since it's not like you to keep something from me," I pointed out in concern and Jack poked his muzzle in while he was gulping.
"Well, we're best friends and you can always trust me, so I promise that I'll never judge you for anything you do or like what you like...insects, rabbits-" Jack started to reassure and hearing the last part of what he said caused my eyes to bulge out as I threw myself out of bed and tackled him to the ground as he yelped in alarm and I pinned him to the ground.
"I-I'm so sorry for looking at it and I won't tell anyone so please close your mouth!" Jack hollered frantically while I was gasping with a completely mortified look and instantly clasped my hands onto my mouth while my face turned blue from horror at the thought that he found out about my attraction to Haru and I let him up before sitting down on the edge of my bed.
"Um, really, I just wanted to read that manga I borrowed from you and...that's when I found this," Jack confessed as he showed me the porn mag the panda gave me, then my face felt very hot as I quietly sucked in a breath and I looked away while feeling so embarrassed and pissed at myself for not getting rid of the magazine when I should've done it in the first place.
'Oh god, he found that?! Damn it, I feel like such an idiot for not getting rid of that and I just want to fucking die right now!' I thought incredulously as I could just imagine that my face would be about as red as a fire truck if it wasn't covered in fur.
"Hey, I won't tell anyone, I promise but getting excited from bunnies...well, isn't that kind of weird?" Jack asked hesitantly as I picked up the magazine and held a sour expression.
"Look, it's...complicated because ever since I met this female rabbit, everything's been hectic and I've been confused about my feelings as a wolf towards a rabbit while it's been frustrating me, so I wanted to consider it from different perspectives," I admitted tensely as I avoided eye-contact with Jack.
"Wait, does that mean you actually love her?" Jack inquired and I became lost in thought as I thought about Haru and how it makes me feel breathless picturing her while I felt warm and happy, but then I recalled all of the terrible things I've done and how the Wasteland changed me for the worse before the fear of her finding out what I am made my decision for me and I decided that we couldn't ever be together, not after everything I've done.
"Legosi, I'm sorry if I was insensitive," Jack told me and I held up a hand to reassure him while I showed a false smile.
"No, it's okay because I know that it isn't love, just nothing more than a misunderstanding," I assured and Jack tilted his head with a puzzled look.
"Wait, are you sure?" Jack questioned in confusion and I nodded before looking away from him, feeling my heart strangely clench at what I said and how much it hurt but I ignored it since I had become good at suppressing how I truly feel most of the time and learned how to put up a fake smile to hide all the ugliness and darkness that was lurking inside me.
After a while, the festival was being set up and I was with Kai while we were busy painting the t-rex statue and I enjoyed how quiet and peaceful it was.
'Quiet and simple, just the way I like it,' I thought happily as I was doing perfect brush strokes on the legs and Kai hummed thoughtfully.
"Hey, we need more water because this paint is too thick," Kai notified me and I looked back at him while standing up.
"Don't worry, I'll bring back one bucket," I said and Kai thanked me as I grabbed a bucket and headed over to where I could get more water before I turned on the tap and waited for the bucket to fill up, then I turned off the tap and picked up the filled-up bucket before I started to head back to Kai.
Suddenly, something or someone grabs my tail and I looked over my right and at my left while raising my arm, then I saw Haru right behind me as she waved and smiled playfully.
"Hi," Haru greeted and I just stared down at her while feeling nervous.
'Stay calm, we're just friends,' I thought as I gulped slightly.
"Hey, I didn't expect to see you out here so how nice," Haru said as she went in front of me and I leaned down to see her better.
"Oh yeah, the gardening club is participating in the festival too, right?" I inquired curiously and Haru nodded.
"Yep, and since I'm the only member, it's been a lot of work so I could really use a hand if you're free right now," Haru complained jokingly and I froze at that before looking hesitant.
"Oh...I don't know...the drama club's pretty busy so I'm not sure if I can help out right now," I replied while sounding unsure and Haru sighed in disappointment.
"Really? Okay, I get it so I guess I'll have to manage and good luck then," Haru told me and walked away while my ears flattened slightly and I felt my heart clenching again.
'It's better this way...she can't ever know what I am or what I'm really capable of so it's better that we stay as friends,' I thought as I picked up the bucket and headed back to Kai until I was now on the top of the scaffolding and continuing the project with Kai.
"Crap, with Louis-senpai around these days, he always gives us shit and is always on our asses," Kai grumbled as I placed the paintbrush down and turned around before I could see Louis in the distance as he was walking around and passed us.
"Is he rehearsing for the lighting ceremony or something?" I wondered while I watched him heading over to Haru's booth, which caught my interest.
"No, there shouldn't be any rehearsals going on today so maybe he's here on personal business," Kai commented as I watched Louis with a look of interest.
I was curious to see what Haru's story is with Louis since I knew that he was hiding something and it didn't make any sense why he would do that if they were just friends unless something else was going on, then Louis stopped in front of Haru and she greeted him from what I could tell but he leaned down to pat her on the head affectionately and my mouth dropped open slightly in shock as I could feel something that was almost close to betrayal.
At that moment, my heart started pounding and I was getting tunnel vision as pure fury rose up in me and I squeezed the paint tubes in my hand tightly as I gritted my teeth and my face twisted into the look of an ugly frightening rage as Legosi started appearing uneasy at my reaction.
"Connor?" Legosi asked hesitantly but I wasn't paying attention as I remembered Louis lying to me and it made me even more livid as the paint tubes exploded from the sheer pressure, causing Legosi to jerk back and he slowly flew backward to get some distance from my wrath as I raised my hand and stared at the paint splatter on it.
'Son of a bitch, I thought I recognized that scent on him before...god, I'm such a fucking moron for not realizing it sooner! Jesus, it's so difficult to breathe whenever I think about her and things have been so much harder while I'm around her.
Haru...that expression on your face...I can't take it anymore, especially now since I've finally realized what this feeling is...I'm in love with you,' I thought darkly as I started smearing the paint across my cheek and dark familiar laughter appeared suddenly.
"That's right, feel that rage coursing through you to remind you that you're still alive and that deer is a threat to your affections for Haru, so now you know what to do," the voice whispered gently as a black cloud of darkness with red eyes exited me and formed into the figure I tried to fight against a month ago until it took the form of Legosi, but it held a dark smirk that didn't look right on the kind wolf and the red glowing eyes gave it away.
(Play The Nightmare Machine by Robert Foster)
I noticed that the original Legosi was gone as this dark version of him gently flew over to me and chuckled while he circled me until he was right behind me and rested his hands on my shoulders before leaning forward until his mouth was right next to my ear.
"You love Haru-chan and want her so why not take her? The rabbit is the only one who treated you like a person and you shouldn't let that deer get in your way, even if you must eliminate him to reach your goal so go forth and take her as your mate before you lose her forever," Dark Legosi encouraged sweetly as the demonic voice had changed into Legosi's smooth and deep voice, only it was darker and more sinister as I turned around to stare at him.
"Who are you?" I questioned as everything around us seemed to freeze in time before it warped and became the very place I wished I'd never see again as the Wasteland appeared while ruins and lifeless environments stretched before us.
"Who am I? I guess you could say that I'm a mixture of your true self and Legosi's instincts so I have to admit, I never thought that your mind is so fucked up and all those memories of 13 years...it's a wonder that you're still sane at this point since any other man would've been consumed by the Wasteland by now and turned completely insane," Dark Legosi stated as he suddenly changed into the dark version of me that was covered in blood, then a deathclaw, a raider, slaver, super mutant, and finally back to his Legosi form as I glared at him.
"Go to hell," I growled bitterly and Dark Legosi chuckled in amusement.
"Newsflash, Connor, I'm a part of you and you're a part of me so we're already in a hell that will never end and no amount of redeeming yourself will ever help you escape all of the things that you've done, the number of people you have killed and in such sadistic and slow manners like setting those cannibals on fire and watching them burn while they screamed for a mercy that would never come," Dark Legosi pointed out with a twisted grin as the sky around us turned blood red and many decayed hands popped out of the ground around us.
The dead bodies rose up out of the ground and I recognized them as all of the people I've killed as they were rotting and some parts of flesh were gone while their empty sockets glowed red, just as blood started raining down from the sky and covered the ground before a few grabbed me and I started hyperventilating in a panic as Dark Legosi waved goodbye mockingly and disappeared into a black mist while I was struggling and we all started sinking into what was now a river of blood as body parts and internal organs came up to the surface.
I tried to fight back but there were too many and they were too strong until I let out one terrified scream before I became submerged completely, then everything changed back to the park where the festival was being set up while time had resumed before I let out a startled gasp and started making short panicked breaths as I leaned forward and gripped the metal pole in front of me while I was trying hard not to break down and start sobbing where everyone can see and Legosi flew over tentatively.
"Connor...I'm sorry I wasn't there, that thing made me disappear again and I'm glad you're okay but you're shaking," Legosi told me and I let go of the pole and could see what he was talking about as I let out a trembling sigh and managed to regain myself.
"Just don't ever ask me what happened, okay?" I suggested quietly and Legosi nodded respectfully as I went over to the paintbrush and continued finishing the project Kai and I was working on.
A/N Damn, talk about disturbing in the final half of this chapter and it shows that the person Connor used to be before he left the Vault is dead metaphorically since no one is ever the same in a hellish place like the Wasteland and he is pretty unstable while also being a broken man on top of it who's seriously tormented by the past as he tries to find some form of forgiveness in himself.
Anyway, nice little change I put in, right? I wanted to put down the state of Connor's broken mind and what better way to do it is by having the Shadow make an appearance again and pull him into his twisted mind to play a twisted mind game to try and get Connor to let out his dark and sadistic half so I hope you enjoyed the change that wasn't seen in the manga and anime.
So, let me know what you think and stay tuned.
