Hello everyone! We're back for chapter five! Now, my other Star Wars story The Armored Berserkers went to chapter five before going on hiatus to make room for this, this will go to chapter ten. The reason for this is that with Berserkers, chapter five was the last chapter of the prologue so continuing on would leave us in the middle of act one with a hiatus, meanwhile, here, chapter five is in the middle of act one, so we will go to the end of act one. At that point, I will make a decision on what I am going to write on alternate weeks. I will either continue this, pick up with Romans, or start a new story entirely. At this point, I am personally leaning towards the latter since I am a bit burned out with Star Wars after getting geared up for Episode IX and Mandalorian by rewatching Clone Wars. Since I've gotten Disney plus I've watched Clone Wars - except the movie, it's trash, it started something great, but its trash - watched Rebels for the first time, all eight episodes of the Mandalorian, the prequels, Last Jedi, Rogue One, and I saw Rise of Skywalker twice in theaters. Looking at that list, it's kinda a no brainer that I burned myself out of Star Wars, though, with Clone Wars season seven just a month away, that may reignite my passion and I may decide I want to continue after all.

Right now, I really don't know, but you guys can influence me. I know I probably shouldn't fuss about it but I do look at clicks and they do matter to me. But I recognize that this site counts them weirdly and they aren't representative to begin with, thus, I weigh them fairly lightly. Follows and favorites I weight higher than that but I weigh them the same as each other. On all three of my stories here, the difference between follows and favorites stands at one and most of the people match, so considering most people do both, I'll count them together. What I weigh most highly is reviews, they're the rarest, they require a bit of time to write up, and they represent someone invested enough in this story to actually leave feedback. Okay, so that was all for transparency's sake and I will leave my answer as to what I will write after this in chapter ten of this story in the author's note. I will probably leave a reminder in the corresponding chapter of Romans. Anyway, with all that business stuff out of the way, this titanic author's note is done.

Secrets of The Outer Rim.

Act I.

The Last Days of The Jedi Order.

Chapter V.

Hypocrisies of the Jedi.


I sat crosslegged in a meditation chamber aboard the Sage and used the Force to pull my lightsaber apart. The reddish brown metal was made to match my lightsaber and it contained four purple color crystals - the design was a callback to earlier times, a time when the Jedi were actually peaceful. Double-bladed lightsabers were created as a tool of war, yet it remained popular for time as an ornamental weapon and a martial arts tool before fading away into relative obscurity. It is now making somewhat of a comeback given that the Jedi were once again at war. I was at war, I was a warrior, and I used a double-bladed lightsaber, I suppose that most people would assume me to be one. I mean, a double-bladed purple weapon, rather dark red-brown robes, a red skinned face and a pair of purple eyes in the shadow of a hood, I do admit that, appearance wise, I am not exactly the most approachable Jedi. I acknowledge that my appearance may result in me being perceived as a belligerent Jedi, perhaps one open to the Dark Side. It seemed superficial to me. I suppose the visual key may have something to do with why my master gets so nervous about me so much as critiquing the Jedi Order and maybe it has something to do with why Phanza Attam spent that notable moment longer observing me than she did with Master Avdune - the moment I suspect when Lady Attam decided to try and corrupt me to the Dark Side. I wasn't satisfied with this possibility. I figured there had to be more to all this than just appearances.

There has to be something about me that has made both Master Avdune and Lady Attam believe I am susceptible to the Dark Side. It was easier to dismiss Phanza, after all, she was a Sith Lord, if a somewhat affable one, so she may simply be hopeful. The Grand Duchy of Taaszon seems to have somewhat more archaic titles than the rule-of-two Sith we're accustomed to, these pretenders. The Pretenders use the term Lord as a colloquial title, meanwhile, Taaszon seems to be like the ancient Sith, which made a distinction between Lords and Darths. Darths all had a proper Sith name, some Lords did, others just used their surnames. Lady Attam is one of those Lords without a title. Lords are below Darths but ranked high enough to take on their own apprentices. Therefore, I suspected that Phanza, who was young enough that I suspected she only recently became a Lord, had been apprentice to Grand Duchess Voytana herself, so she wanted to take her own apprentice now. She wanted to add a third name to a prestigious line. I wondered why she had chose me to be apprentice of the Grand Duchess' apprentice. I wish I could ask Master Avdune for advice, but I didn't think that she would be helpful. Ullara was snappish with Phanza Attam on board her own ship when the Nautolan criticized the Jedi in front of me and she then completely shut me down just for bringing up a comparison with the Sith.

I stand by what I said, the Jedi Order is indeed hierarchical. No matter how you spin it, there is no question that Master Yoda has more authority than Master Avdune who has more authority than I do. I do not think Master Yoda personally would mind, but I am well aware that it would not be considered proper if I brought my concerns with the Jedi Order directly to him, rather than bringing them to my Master or properly presenting them before the Jedi Council with permission. Sure some Jedi get the opportunity to speak with Master Yoda personally about their concerns, but those are the likes of Jedi Council or very important Jedi like Master Skywalker, a Jedi with many victories to his name and one of the highest midichlorian counts amongst the Jedi, certainly much higher than my own.

I was not personally aware of anyone's midichlorian count, not even my own, however, as a youngling, I recalled many rumors amongst the children. Rumors of which Jedi was the strongest. And of course there was the question of which of us was the strongest, something which the boys were particularly concerned with. All the boys would insist that they were the strongest Jedi to ever live with the most midichlorians and the greatest Force powers, granted, there were a few girls who would always join them. I always thought that it was pretty ridiculous, none of us knew our count. I always assumed I was an average Jedi, not particularly strong nor particularly weak. I always thought of myself as an unremarkable Jedi. I just wanted to be a peacekeeper. If my name was going to be remembered, I wanted to be remembered for bringing the Jedi back to their roots as peacekeepers and maybe for playing a part in the reconciliation of the Jedi and the Sith of Taaszon, but even then, I wanted to think that I was doing that because I wanted to be a good Jedi not because I was so concerned with my own reputation. Though at this point, I'll probably just settle for getting to be a Jedi in a time of peace.

I used the Force to pull my lightsaber together, bringing the crystals in place, floating the focusing crystals up before them, and then bringing the two emitters to either end. The other internal components and the outer shell all floated into place as I essentially brought two lightsabers together. Slowly, I breathed in, careful not to disturb my own focus or the lightsaber in front of me. I exhaled as I brought everything together. The piece lined up and I twisted them into place before gently lowering my lightsaber to the ground, the weapon brought back together. Asajj Ventress, the former Dark Jedi Assassin, had a double-bladed lightsaber that she could pull apart into a pair of curved-hilt lightsabers - my understanding is that she used them that way far more than she ever used them as a saberstaff - but I felt that would be an admission of our warlike nature.

In terms of a weapon, having a saberstaff that could come apart was superior in every way. The fact that the weapon was two functional separate pieces meant that there was no worry of it being cut in half, unlike my singular saberstaff, being able to switch from a single lightsaber to a saberstaff to a pair of lightsabers at any point in a battle added a level of unpredictability that was difficult to challenge, and it meant that, when only a single blade was needed, it was more practical as a single half could be used. With my weapon, a dedicated saberstaff, the long hilt was a target and cutting it apart would destroy my weapon, I could activate one end at a time, but that still left me with an awkward hilt that was more than twice as long as an average lightsaber hilt, and I lacked the ability to change my lightsaber into anything else. I did not want my weapon, the symbolic tool of a Jedi, to be adjusted to the whims of war. I built the weapon I wanted to build, the weapon I felt in the Force, the weapon of a peacekeeper. To make my lightsaber a more efficient killing weapon would be to betray myself and betray my values. It would be a weapon of meditation, a weapon of bringing one's mind and body together through the martial arts, and a weapon of balance in the galaxy.

Perhaps that was a bit too poetic.

The lightsaber was a symbol of the Jedi and I felt that one's lightsaber said a lot about a person. I watched as Master Avdune entered the room and quietly went about a few lightsaber exercises, not yet realizing that I was done meditating. I appreciated that my master was considerate enough to not disturb me even through I really had finished. Her weapon was simple. A single-bladed green lightsaber and she used the relatively aggressive Shien form. I could see in her stances and her swings that she still had a bit of Soresu in her, a relic of a more civilized age. She seemed like the ideal young Jedi. A Mirialan in a set of brown Jedi robes with a green lightsaber who practiced Soresu...or at least did once. But war has tainted all of us. Her style was more aggressive now, there was a heavier presence in her eyes - perhaps resentment, perhaps anger, maybe even guilt - but guilt or no guilt it didn't really seem to affect Master Avdune. She still appeared beautiful in combat. She never looked more natural than while she going through her combat routine.

Perhaps that said a lot about the Jedi, when Master Avdune, who appeared to be the perfect Jedi, was in her element in combat. My master was a great teacher and I loved that I was training under her, but I hated that she exhibited so many of the signs of what I didn't like about the Jedi. I didn't like that she was so aggressive in combat, I didn't like that she was trying a Padawan when she wasn't even in her thirties, and i didn't like how she was predisposed to distrusting Lady Attam and her people just because they are Sith.

Lady Attam...I didn't know what I thought about her. I know that I didn't like that she was trying to turn me over to the Dark Side. I was also somewhat scared of how powerful she was. The lightning she possessed, whether it comes in Force Storms, Chain Lightning, or simply the classical Force Lightning, it all did so much damage and it all manifested itself in that frightening red. Blood red. The lightning suited her complex I suppose, red and black, just like her skin and her tattoos, just like her lightsaber, just like her face and her eyes. I never imagined the archetypal Sith as an alien, nor as a woman, but this alien woman was redefining what the Sith are to me. I guess what I learned today is that appearances never tell the full tale. I may appear to be dark and dangerous, but I'm not, I am loyal to the Jedi, or at least to what the Jedi should be. Master Avdune appears to be the ideal Jedi, but she is a product of her time, a product of war. Phanza Attam doesn't appear to be a powerful Sith Lord, but she has demonstrated time and time again that she is. Appearances can indeed be deceiving.


"We'll be arriving on Coruscant later today." Master Avdune told me as she sat in a little kitchenette we shared aboard the Sage, near our two quarters. She was dressed rather casually, wearing a white tunic and very dark brown - almost black - tights. I had not dressed in my entire robes either. I wore a black tunic with a hint of gold color littered throughout the design and a pair of black shorts. Jedi technically do not need to be modest, it is neither a written or unwritten rule. The robes we are given are modest, but we are free to alter our outfits, so long as we do not frivolously pursue clothing. Jedi like Master Secura are certainly not modest. I usually was, but I saw no reason why I should be with my Master in private. I would get fully dressed before leaving my the area of the ship reserved for us Jedi.

Lady Attam usually was modest, at least by Sith standards, but she certainly wasn't on Acina. Those robes which revealed her midriff and arms had more of an effect on me than I would like to admit. If we did not so quickly find ourselves battling overwhelming odds at the separatist shield generator, I likely would have caught myself staring at her more. I was not quite sure what that said about me. The Jedi were quite clinical about attraction, deeming it a means to an end when it came to reproduction and something which Jedi were to avoid. They acknowledged that homosexuality and other sexualities existed, that was about it. Attachment was not the way of the Jedi and emotionless sex was frowned upon. The Jedi reasoning that emotionless sex rarely stayed that way and thus led to more attachment, which led to jealousy, anger, hate, and, eventually, the Dark Side. I thought that stance was a bit extreme but I never questioned it, I never had a reason to question it. I was never really all that aware of myself sexually.

At some point since realizing I was attracted to Phanza, I became aware of the fact that I was not attracted to men at all, but I was attracted to women, as in...more than one. Being aware of that didn't mean that I did anything with that knowledge. Looking at Master Avdune, I could definitely say that I found Master Avdune attractive, after all, she was a fit young woman, a smart one too, and the fact that we were different species didn't seem to bother me. I found Phanza attractive as well, as I realized when she began reaching out to me with the Force. I found her attractive even though she was a multitude more exotic than Ullara. I admit that I am not entirely sure of the mechanics of other species but I assumed, given most things were similar, the...the plumbing would be rather similar too. The Jedi Archives were not particularly forthcoming on any information on the topic, though, admittedly, I also didn't have much reason to look before I found myself feeling an attraction I hadn't felt before. Anyway, I was coming to terms with the fact that I found a variety of women attractive, but I am sure that most Jedi did. There is a difference between mere attraction and sexual activity. Master Avdune was my master, I did not want to complicate our professional relationship or disappoint her simply because I found her aesthetically attractive. Meanwhile, Lady Attam was a Sith Lord, telling her I found her attractive would only lead to trouble, especially given that Phanza was actively trying to turn me over to the Dark Side. I did not want awareness of my own sexuality to spiral into avoiding some sort of Dark Side seduction scheme, though given the circumstances of when I became aware of my sexuality, perhaps it was already too late for that.

"What are you thinking about Zaliza?" Master Avdune asked me, an eyebrow raised and a soft smile on her face. My guess is that she could tell I was thinking and, prodding softly with the Force, detected a strange set of emotions. She probably assumed I had a little bit of a crush on a fellow Padawan or something like that, nothing particularly major or worth worrying over. She wasn't that far off either. I was glad to entertain this line of questioning, I would rather discuss something harmless like sexuality than end up in another argument with my Master over the Sith of Taaszon or anything like that.

"Oh just some nonsense about urges. Nothing I have any intention of acting on." I assured her that everything was alright, as I sat down across from her and started eating something. Her black hair was loosely tied with several strands just tucked behind her little green ears. I didn't see her hair much outside of these quarters. She tended to wear a hood, to be fair, so did I. I was sixteen, she was twenty-five, sure it was a bit of an age gap but, overall, I'm sure that our experiences must be rather similar. Master Yoda may not have urges anymore, perhaps even Master Windu does not, but I don't think that Master Avdune is at that level. I mean no offence when I say that she is nowhere near the level of the Jedi Council, it is simply an evaluation of facts. I will say that I don't feel like I am at her level either. This is just how the balance of power is amongst Jedi, after all, it is a hierarchical organization.

"It's only natural Zaliza. Considering that Zeltrons are particularly known for their...urges, as you put them, I'd say you were doing great." Master Avdune seemed a bit amused that I referred to sexual feelings as urges but did not present me with an alternative, deciding to lightly tease me instead. I didn't mind. She did have a point though, my species should have made me more susceptible to sexuality. After all, Zeltrons are indeed known for being attractive and sexually active beings, so much so that other species have suggested that we have pheromones that make others more inclined to have sex with us. I can say that I have no such pheromones as far as I could tell and my sexuality was more than manageable. I found a selection of women attractive, sure, but that didn't mean that I was going to pounce on them. Especially given that I have already found good reasons to avoid acting on my feelings with the two attractive women I encounter most often. Ullara, who has been my Master and will continue to be my master, and Phanza, a woman I am certain I have not seen the last of, especially given that she apparently can contact me through the Force. Forget lightning tricks, that may be the scariest Force ability she has portrayed thus far.

"Oh? And what of Mirialans and their urges?" I teased my master in reply. I saw a bit of a dark green tint develop just behind the black tattoos she had in two rows below her eyes. They were black rhombi that, in Mirialan societies, symbolized ones accomplishments. They reminded me of freckles. I suppose if I were a bit less professional and a bit more willing to act on mere attraction, I may describe her little tattoos as cute. I liked my master when she was like this. She was easy, she was happy, and she was supportive of me. I hated the fact that she could so easily and so seamlessly switch into a much stricter and authoritative teacher. Perhaps that was just a result of her having to take me on as a Padawan when she was so young. She wasn't ready, but the war demanded more Jedi which meant that more Padawans had to be trained. I think that I could be more comfortable if I thought of her strictness and snappishness when it comes to critiquing the Jedi as an act. She has to play the role of the Jedi Master for me so she has to ensure I am the best Jedi I can be - and being the best Jedi means not questioning the masters. Perhaps Master Avdune did not have a problem with me saying that the Jedi Order was hierarchical but she had a problem with me comparing the Jedi to the Sith. In any case, I should stop thinking about this, that would only ruin my current conversation with Ullara.

"Well...I cannot speak for the rest of my species, but...I do." Ullara sighed before seemingly getting lost in thought. I ate a small breakfast of rations quietly while she thought about whatever it was she was thinking of. I heard her sigh again before making eye contact again "A long time ago, when I was even younger than you are now, I met a slightly older girl. She was a Pantoran, sixteen years old, freshly made into a Padawan. She had been a model student and her master asked her to assist in training the next batch of younglings that were on the verge of becoming Padawans. So, the group of us, a bunch of fourteen and fifteen year olds, started training under her. She took an interest in me pretty quickly and...well, I took an interest in her too. We were in the wrong, I knew that. What we were doing would only end in pain and heartbreak, but we were both too young and naive to realize it. Her master caught us the night we were going to...take things further. He was furious. She and I were separated, she was blamed for misusing her position and I was given a strict warning about attachment. I don't want the same thing to ever happen to you or anyone else Zaliza. Feelings are natural, urges are natural, admiration is natural, but acting on it is not the Jedi way. Especially not now, not when you can feel the pain of losing someone long before you get the chance of getting caught by a Master." Ullara admitted. I listened intently to this very personal story. She never told me anything about this before.

"I...I wish that didn't happen to you master." was all I managed in reply.

"It was my fault. The two of us did things no Jedi should ever do and...if we weren't caught that night, it would only hurt a magnitude more when we did get caught." Master Avdune sighed. I didn't understand it, surely having no attachments causes more pain and suffering for Jedi than pursuing attachments would? Also, if heartbreak is can lead to pain, suffering, and the Dark Side, then why must the Jedi cause heartbreak by separating Jedi who have found love in one another? That seems counter-intuitive. I could see how love could lead to jealousy, obsession, and heartbreak, but is that really enough reason to ban it outright? After all, love can also lead to compassion, understanding, and companionship, all things that Jedi should experience. I may not have any romantic interests right now, but empathy is a Jedi quality and I felt empathy for Ullara, for her Pantoran friend, and for any other Jedi who got their heartbroken by this unnecessary rule.

I bit my tongue but I wanted to ask Ullara how our Order, an organization that preaches that the Force is found in all of us and connects each and every living being, could be so entirely against two individuals forming a stronger connection between one another. I wanted to argue but I resisted, my master has been in enough pain over this issue I am sure and, somewhat more selfishly, she is opening up to me. That is something I have wanted for a long time and I don't want to ruin it by starting a fight over the philosophies of the Jedi.

Master Avdune didn't say much more before the Sage began its descent to Coruscant but she had opened up to me once and I was interested in seeing what else she would be willing to tell me before our leave on Coruscant was over.


I was walking through an empty hallway within the Jedi Temple as Master Avdune reported to the Council. I had wanted to be there with her but she gave me her word that she would handle it and that she would be truthful about the Sith of Taaszon. We had not learned as much about them as we had wanted to but we possessed a knowledge of their tactics now, we possessed scans of their ships we took during the battles against the separatists, and we possessed more information about Lady Attam and her companions, even if we still didn't know much about the Sith command structure other than Phanza herself. All in all, it had gone well and I trusted Ullara to report to the council, especially since she opened up to me.

"You are awfully trustful of someone who lied to your face mere hours ago." I stopped dead in my tracks for a long moment. Phanza was communicating with me again, just like she had on board the Sage while I was on my way to Imperius Prime and the other Sith worlds. I was impressed and terrified enough when she could do it to me while I was in hyperspace, but somehow, I found it more terrifying that she was able to do it to me while I was on Coruscant. Once again, I saw the Nautolan in the flesh despite the fact we were in different places in different parts of the galaxy. She was once again dressed in her usual black and purple robes rather than the ensemble she wore on Acina. She sat alone on some sort of throne, in what looked to be some sort of castle. I suppose I should have thought that this was in Taaszon and she overthrew the Grand Duchess to take her throne, but, somehow, I knew that was wrong. I knew that this wasn't the Grand Ducal throne, this was a throne that Lady Attam regularly sat in, I had a feeling that this castle was her castle. I don't know how or why I knew all of that, but I had a lot more things bothering me before I could get to that. First of all, what did she mean about Ullara lying? Second of all, why was doing this?

"I would rather trust my master than a Sith." I muttered, I was alone as far as I could tell but I didn't want to change that by letting some Jedi in another part of the temple to hear me, nor did I want someone who entered this hallway to overhear me by coincidence. It would be absolutely disastrous for me and for the people of Taaszon if the Jedi Council learned that Lady Attam was communicating with me through the Force.

"Shame, I have yet to lie to you." Phanza could say that all she wanted but I was not going to trust a Sith. I wanted to help her people and I was willing to trust her to do that, but what did she do with my trust? She started trying to turn me over to the Dark Side before my master and I even stepped foot on Imperius Prime. She did not deserve to be trusted and she certainly did not deserve to be trusted over my own master, my master who literally just admitted her greatest failure to me. Ullara wasn't perfect, but she cared for me, enough to make sure that I didn't make the same mistakes she did and end up in trouble with the Jedi and left with a broken heart. That is far more than Lady Attam will ever do for me.

"I saw the pain in my master's eyes, there is no way she is lying about her and that Pantoran." I hissed in reply, that was such a Sith thing to do, I had only just managed to hear something so intense about my master's past and Phanza was already trying to make me doubt that? How did she know that Master Avdune and I had that conversation to begin with? Was this connection allowing her to observe my actions outside of contacting me? If so, why was I not able to observe her? If I could figure out how to do that, maybe, just maybe I'll be able to find Taaszon and get vital information to the Jedi Council. I hope that she couldn't hear my thoughts, if she did...that whole plan is ruined before it could even begin.

"Silly child, I do not mean that. She is deceiving you over your true nature." Phanza laughed and, with that, she disappeared. She only left me with more questions and more doubts. What could she possibly mean by my true nature? Did Master Avdune deceive me about whatever it is Phanza is referring to? And if so, how the hell did Master Avdune deceive me? I am a Jedi and I hope that I would not fall to the Dark Side anyway, but if Lady Attam wants me to do it, surely she knows that she isn't going to turn me into a Sith by confusing me with vague accusations of deception.


Our leave was going to be shorter than it could have been due to our mission to the Grand Duchy of Taaszon. Nevertheless, I was already beginning to feel restless. It's not that I wanted to go back to the battlefield - I had enough warfare to last me a lifetime already - but I wanted to do something. Protect a senator, resolve a planetary dispute, help younglings find their lightsaber crystals on Ilum - anything other than remaining here at the Jedi Temple, bored and with nothing to do. Eventually, I wandered into the cafeteria, I wasn't particularly hungry, but I didn't have much else to do.

A few masters sat together and seemed to be discussing some information from a datapad they passed around. I smiled politely at them to show respect but did not disturb them. Most of the people here were masters with their Padawans but there were a few individuals without the other half of their pair. I noticed that Master Avdune was not amongst those in here. Perhaps she already ate, maybe she was busy, or it could be as simple as she was on her way. I didn't know. I was thinking about turning back and looking for my master directly when I spotted a young Padawan - likely one who was just now taken on as an apprentice, one who wasn't yet exposed to the realities of being a Jedi Padawan during the biggest galactic conflict in centuries - she seemed lonely. I walked over to the young violet-skinned Twi'Lek Padawan with her golden yellow eyes and the gentle darker purple patterns running down her Lekku.

"Hello," I greeted warmly as I sat across from her. I wanted to be nice to the Padawan, besides, I was feeling pretty lonely myself while on leave here. My master had opened up to me on the Sage but, despite that, our experiences together have been uneventful and, with her being busier than I was, I was left to my own devices for much of the leave so far. Just because we were on leave from the front lines didn't mean that we were entirely free to ourselves and Master Avdune, as usual, was tasked with far more activities than I was. I assumed it was because she was a master.

"Oh! Hi there!" the Twi'Lek looked up in surprise and couldn't help but smile, she was clearly a nice girl and didn't want to be alone. I glanced at her rations, she seemed to be quite a heavy-eater despite being shorter and thinner than even I was. She saw what I was looking at and offered me some of her food but I politely refused, I wasn't hungry, just amused at her appetite.

"My name is Zaliza Vyvan, I'm a Padawan." I introduced myself not a moment later. My hood was down and my straight black hair was tucked behind my ears, and down into my robes below my hood. I could cut my hair shorter, but I didn't really want to. I had been letting it grow out recently and I found myself rather liking it, even if my hair did spend most of its time below my hood and stuffed into the back of my robes. I briefly considered taking some of my hair and putting it over the front of my shoulder like Lady Attam did with two of her tattooed head-tails on either side of her head, but I didn't think that Master Avdune would appreciate it if I took fashion cues from a Sith, especially given my admittedly dark complexion to begin with. Still, I thought it looked good on Phanza, even if I probably shouldn't admit that about a Sith. The woman knew what she was doing and I suppose that it made sense that a woman like that what open even a Jedi's eyes to her sexuality. It is hard not to see an attraction to women when faced with Lady Attam. She may be evil and she is definitely trying to turn me to the Dark Side, but she is also fiercely intelligent, beautiful, and self-confident. It is hard not to find those qualities attractive.

"I'm Thonna Ai'sunn, also a Padawan. I only just became one and I felt a bit awkward after my master told me that he couldn't come with me to lunch, so I'm glad you came along." Thonna flashed me a nice smile and I found myself grinning too. I didn't have many friends amongst my fellow Padawans and I could very easily see myself becoming friends with this girl. The question is...did I want to? Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with her or even me, the circumstances are the problem. Becoming friends with her opens up a path to pain and loss because of this war. I don't want to befriend her just to see her injured or killed on her first assignment. It was a mean thing to think but I don't think that Thonna would have become a Padawan already if not for the war. I am sure that she is my age or only slightly younger in age, but she seems younger in personality. We may be the same age, but I think most would think of me more as an adult and her more as a child. Though that didn't mean that either of us should have anything to do with this war. Being perceived as an adult does not mean that I have what it takes to cope with this war and I don't think that I ever will. I think being a Jedi in a state of war is unnatural and I think war should never come naturally to a Jedi.

"Oh? What is your master up to?" I asked, Master Avdune was probably busy with something and she knew nothing bad was going to happen to me within the confines of the Jedi Temple - well, other than that whole hanger bombing business not too long ago, though neither of us had been around to witness that - and trusted me with a little bit of independence around here, but Thonna was literally on her first day as a Padawan. I would have thought that her master would spend time with her for the next couple of weeks, or at least least, the next few days, but he wasn't even here today.

"Oh, my master does diplomacy with the Hutts...he umm...he was actually the one to bring me back to the Temple." Thonna told me, I suppose that explained his absence. The Hutts were given a long leash during this war because we were dependent on them and the hyperlanes they controlled to fight the separatists. We have openly let them get away with a lot and our forces being distracted and stretched across the galaxy has allowed them to expand their business without or explicit permission as well. We were essentially turning a blind eye to the biggest source of spice running, arms dealing, and slavery in the whole galaxy. Once again, the war has distracted us Jedi from our true purpose and no one really seems to care.

Though there was one thing I was glad about here and that was that Thonna got the opportunity to train under the master that brought her to the Temple to begin with. I know I didn't, Master Avdune had nothing to do with bringing me to the Jedi Temple, after all, she was only a youngling when I became a part of the Jedi Order. I don't remember who brought me here and no one has ever claimed responsibility, nor do I remember anything about my life before becoming a Jedi. Though that was rather normal, very few Jedi remembered their lives before becoming Jedi and, the vast majority of the time, their memories are limited to a few flashing memories and key moments, things that have kept themselves alive as recurring thoughts or dreams.

"That's nice, my master is young, she wasn't even a Padawan when I got to the Temple. She had nothing to do with me getting here and, truth be told, I don't remember a thing about that or about my life before coming here." I relayed my thoughts to Padawan Ai'sunn. I wasn't sure why I was willing to open up to a complete stranger so easily, maybe Ullara's confession but me in a good mood. I would have confessed something to Master Avdune herself but the only things she didn't already know about me were that Phanza was trying to turn me over to the Dark Side and that she was doing it by communicating through the Force, and I didn't want to tell her about that because the last thing I wanted to do was make a small confession about something manageable and see it spiral into the event that sparked war between The Galactic Republic and The Grand Duchy of Taaszon.

"That's not too bad, sometimes not knowing is better." Thonna looked away and stopped eating for a long while, I didn't want to disturb her. It was clear that she was thinking about something intensely personal and traumatizing. My social skills were hardly developed, but even I knew that, if she wanted to tell me, she would when she was ready. Poking and prodding now would just pressure her and likely force her away. If I wanted to forge a friendship with another Padawan, despite the risk of losing her, I needed to know when to listen and when to talk to her. Maybe a friendship was exactly what I needed to cope with war, perhaps the fear of losing her paled in comparison to the mental benefit of having a friend in a time like this.

"I was born a slave." Thonna finally admitted. I reached out and rested my hand on hers, we locked eyes. She was such a nice girl, she was so excited to become a Jedi, and she was so happy to finally maybe make a friend, but beneath that, I could see the scars that never quite healed. I knew that they hit and even whipped her, I knew that she had to watch her mother dance for Hutts and their horrible clientele, and I knew that her mother had to do more than just dance. The worst part is that she and I both knew that, if the Jedi didn't find her, Thonna would likely have to do those same awful things as her mother did. Thinking about that and bringing together the fact that her master who found her also handled diplomacy with the Hutts, that raised one important question, a question that I think I already knew the answer to. A question that would be absolutely break my heart.

"Your mother...is she still...?" I had a hard time asking the question but Thonna did not hesitate to answer. Though after hearing her answer, I kind of wished she had hesitated just a bit, maybe that would have hurt less.

"Yes." Thonna needed a minute after that, she took deep breaths and I squeezed her hand to remind her that I was still there. The moment had the unintended side-effect of letting the horrifying implications truly sink in for me before she continued "My master told me that it was hard enough to convince the Hutts to give me up, there was nothing he could do about my mother without making the Hutts angry with the Republic."

"It's not right Thonna. The Jedi should fight slavery and persecution whether it exists, not fighting against secessionists." I knew that Count Dooku and his master were behind the separatists, but it didn't seem to matter much to begin with. We were ready to declare war on the separatists long before we found out that Count Dooku was a Sith, the Clone Army was proof of that. The Jedi Council made it very clear that the clones were necessary for the war and that we weren't supposed to question them after so many of their brothers died saving the Jedi on Geonosis, especially because countless clones had died in battle since then to defend their Jedi Generals, but clones only age twice as fast as regular humans. The math doesn't add up.

I got up and walked around the table to comfort Thonna, putting my arm around the Twi'Lek and letting her cry. Some masters glanced disapprovingly at the violet-skinned girl's emotional outburst but I ignored them, she had a hard life and the Jedi saved her only to leave her mother behind to that terrible fate. The worst part is that this is not the first time something like this has happened. Master Skywalker rarely talks about his past but there have been enough rumors going around ever since he got here that he was too old and too attached to his slave mother, rumors which Master Skywalker always sought to put an end to immediately, but they came up enough times and I couldn't simply dismiss it as a coincidence anymore. The Jedi were willing to dive headfirst into a war against Count Dooku and the separatists, but we weren't willing to do anything when it comes to ending slavery in the galaxy. I guess we aren't peacekeepers after all. Maybe it was all just propaganda to justify why we entered this war which we so obviously did not belong in.


"The Jedi are liars Zaliza, even you can't deny that after what happened to that little wretch and her mother." Phanza sneered at me through the Force while I was trying to go to sleep, I opened my eyes and saw Lady Attam smirking at me once again, this time, she was sat crosslegged, levitating ever so slightly above an outdoor meditation pad. I guess the Force connection was growing stronger because once again I was able to identify this as a section of Phanza's castle. I could also see more of my surroundings. The castle was a tall and fortified structure built into a set of snow covered mountains on a world I could tell was Taaszon despite never being there. There was a city in the distance and a massive citadel reaching high into the clouds - I didn't need the knowledge of the Force connection to tell that that was the real palace of Taaszon. That is where the Grand Duchess is. Of course, the fact that I knew what Taaszon looked like didn't actually help me with anything, I still didn't know where Taaszon was or how to get there.

Still, the fact that I knew the Force connection was growing stronger and the fact that I had the plan to use it to learn more about Taaszon helped. I knew I could eventually get the answers Master Avdune and I failed to find in person.

The Sith Lord evidently didn't have much to say because her image faded away, leaving me to try and fall back asleep. I wish it were that simple, but Phanza really was getting to me now. She was right, the Jedi lied whenever they said that we were agents of peace because we seem so much more interested in fighting this war against the separatists than we ever were in ending the Hutts and their slave empire. Sure once a long time ago we crushed Zygerria and its slave empire, but all we really did there was wipe out the Hutts' competition. If that was true? Was the rest of it true?


Okie dokie, wow, this chapter ended up being longer than I expected but I have no problems with that. This chapter was meant to be a bit of a breather episode before we get into the second half of act one, but there was some heavy stuff here. This story is a T rating now but it is a hard T and it will be upped to a M by chapter eleven, if not earlier. I have plans for this story, let me know if you guys want me to go straight to act two after this.

Anyway, ciao!